


Passing the Guard

by katzengefluster



Category: iKON (Kpop)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Hanbin and Bobby are their respective best friends, Junhoe and Jinhwan are Jiu Jitsu rivals, M/M, but they're gonna fight it every step of the way, it's basically gonna be enemies to boyfriends
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-19
Updated: 2018-03-18
Packaged: 2018-09-25 16:36:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 50
Words: 312,987
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9829916
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/katzengefluster/pseuds/katzengefluster
Summary: In the entire five years that Junhoe has been competing in Jiu-Jitsu tournaments, he's never lost a first round match—at least not until he faced Jinhwan. Now he has a new enemy to focus on, some annoyingly cute short guy (not cute, just annoying!) and there is no way in Hell that he's going to let Hanbin talk him into falling into that stupid "enemies to lovers" trope. No way. Not a chance. It's not happening (it's totally happening).





	1. The Sweep

**Author's Note:**

  * For [heylove](https://archiveofourown.org/users/heylove/gifts).



> Gift fic for my pal Adriana! ♥ She wanted some JunHwan, so she's gonna get some!
> 
> This is of course inspired by that pic of 3/7 in their gi with Hwangssabu's Jiu-Jitsu class! I just couldn't resist the concept. :)

“How much longer is it going to be until you’re up? I wouldn’t have come so early if I’d known half of my day was going to be spent watching a bunch of unattractive guys flailing against each other. They’re all fully clothed too, there’s no redeeming factor to this day at all.”  
  
Junhoe took a deep breath and counted to five before answering. “You’re not here to scope out dudes, Hanbin, you’re here to be my cheerleader. And you’re fucking failing.”  
  
“Okay, number one—I’m not your fucking cheerleader. Number two—if I was I’d have worn a skirt and a wig strictly for entertainment purposes. This is so dull.”  
  
Junhoe rolled his eyes as he watched his best friend stretch out next to him on the bench. They were sitting up at the top so Junhoe could get a good view of the floor. His first match was coming up soon, but he wanted to check out his competition for later rounds. To Hanbin’s point, Junhoe _could_ have told him exactly when his first match was, but Junhoe hadn’t wanted to sit alone for two hours waiting.  
  
Despite his complaining, Hanbin had been focused on the matches for the first hour, watching them with a technical eye that wasn’t quite as trained as Junhoe’s, but one that understood more than the casual observer or parent. Hanbin didn’t train in Jiu-Jitsu, but he and Junhoe had been best friends for twelve years now, and Hanbin had been coming to support Junhoe at his tournaments ever since he’d started them. Likewise Junhoe attended Hanbin’s boxing tournaments, and they both knew quite a bit about each other’s respective sports.  
  
But just because they came to show support, that didn’t mean that they were always excited to be there for the full day. Junhoe had no cause to complain about Hanbin’s whining right now, because he knew he’d been nothing short of an absolute nuisance at Hanbin’s last competition, whining almost the entire time because he should have been at home working on a science project (that Hanbin had been quick to remind him that he’d had the entire week to get started on).  
  
So if Hanbin was going to grumble about waiting around, Junhoe would just have to accept it. After today they’d be even again.  
  
“Go get me a drink then if you’re just gonna lay here and bitch,” Junhoe replied, “I’m thirsty.”  
  
“You’re always _thirsty_ ,” Hanbin teased back, “not that there’s anyone here worth thirsting over.”  
  
Junhoe rolled his eyes again and shoved Hanbin’s legs off the bench. “Get yourself something too, might shut you up for a while.”  
  
Hanbin sneered at him before making his way down out of the stands, heading for the concession area. Junhoe refocused his attention on the floor and the three bouts currently going on. The gym floor was divided up into three sections, and they had matches running concurrently for the first round. Junhoe recognized a few guys he always saw on the tournament circuit, paying them extra attention. There were other members of his club here but he never sat with them, instead keeping his distance and hanging with Hanbin.  
  
He liked his clubmates, but they trained together nearly every day and Junhoe could only take so much of them at a time. He preferred Hanbin’s more amusing commentary to the dull chit chat of the other guys.  
  
Sometimes Junhoe marvelled at how lucky he was to have found Hanbin so early on (though he’d never admit it out loud). As much as the term _kindred spirits_ made him roll his eyes and gag, he couldn’t think of a more fitting title for his friendship with Hanbin. They were the perfect compliment to one another—similar where needed and just different enough to provide an opposing point of view during crucial moments—but what he was most grateful for was the fact that they were both unapologetically gay.  
  
It had been awkward at first, coming out and dealing with their training partners (for the both of them, because you didn’t see many professional martial artists or boxers outing themselves) but he and Hanbin both had very strong personalities and weren’t the types of people who backed down under pressure.  
  
Junhoe’s club had been a bit better about the news (his teammates were more awkward than hateful, but his coach had been surprisingly supportive from the beginning) but Hanbin had suffered harsher consequences of his honesty.  
  
It made Junhoe laugh, though, because in the end Hanbin had come out victorious. One of the older (and much bigger) training students had been vehemently against training with a _little fag bitch_ (as he’d spouted in Hanbin’s face one day) and had challenged him to a sparring match.  
  
Hanbin had been the one who offered _loser leaves the club_ terms.  
  
Hanbin had then gone on to beat him via knockout (and when he’d come to a few seconds later, Hanbin had followed it up with a well-placed kick to the groin to add insult to injury).  
  
Junhoe had never been more proud to call Hanbin his best friend.  
  
That had been a year ago, and since then they’d both wet their feet in the dating scene. Hanbin had gotten a boyfriend first (and Junhoe had refused to own up to his jealousy for two weeks afterwards) but Junhoe had ended up having the longer (and better) relationship. They were both single now, though, and were constantly vetting potential love interests for each other. Junhoe had eyes on a classmate (he and Hanbin were nearly positive he was in the closet) while Hanbin was in a state of constant flirtation with one of his neighbours.  
  
Junhoe didn’t like the neighbour, but he wasn’t sure if it was a legit dislike, or just jealousy again. He knew it was hypocritical of him but the truth was that he _hated_ sharing Hanbin. Absolutely loathed it. He was trying to ignore the feelings, but he was so used to having Hanbin’s constant attention that not being the centre of his best friend’s world was a little tough to get used to. Hanbin never hesitated to make fun of him for it, and while Junhoe hated the teasing, he was grateful that Hanbin understood it, at least.  
  
But he didn’t like thinking about emotionally complicated bullshit.  
  
He checked the clock on the wall, grateful that he’d be up in thirty minutes. Once Hanbin got back with his water he’d wander down to find his coach and get warmed up, eager to get into the fight. Junhoe loved competitions, loved showing off (mostly because he always did well; he currently had an 83% victory rate) and he was expecting to rank well today. He always shot for complete annihilation, but he realistically was hoping to place top five. There were a few unknown competitors today with impressive records, so he’d grudgingly lowered his expectations from top three to five.  
  
He might be cocky, but at least he was honest.  
  
The first round of competition consisted of two matches, and the points earned from victories would decide who moved on. In the case of ties, overall points won during the round would break it.  
  
Junhoe had never lost a first round bout _ever_. Two tournaments ago his first fight had been against the top ranked fighter (who’d beaten him three months earlier to win that particular tournament) and he’d honestly expected to experience his first early defeat then. But to his surprise he’d beaten his opponent. Hanbin had told him that he thought it was because the other fighter was distracted by his hair (Junhoe had just bleached it blonde) and Junhoe had dumped water over his head for being annoying.  
  
He’d checked his fight listing for today but didn’t recognize the name of his first opponent. _Kim Jinhwan_. Junhoe had never heard his name before, which led him to believe that this guy must have just moved to Seoul. Even if he’d just been recently promoted up to purple belt, Junhoe would have seen his name at some point, since his closest teammate was a blue belt.  
  
He didn’t know anything about him, and Junhoe was his first opponent of the day so he couldn’t even scout his first fight. He had no idea what the guy looked like, and he’d spent some time looking around in the stands for someone at his belt level who he didn’t recognize. There were too many people though, so he’d given up. He wasn’t worried anyway. He could take anyone.  
  
Hanbin returned with his drink and they chatted for a few minutes before Junhoe bid him a momentary goodbye, heading down to meet with his coach and leaving Hanbin in the stands on his own.  
  
Junhoe was ready for the match, eager to show himself off to the judges. He’d been working on his sweeps lately and was looking to put his training to the test against an opponent. Five minutes before his match was about to happen, Hanbin came down to give him a final word.  
  
“I think I saw your opponent,” Hanbin said, and Junhoe turned to look at him, “he’s really short.”  
  
Junhoe laughed, unable to help it. Had Hanbin really found the right guy? “How short?”  
  
“He looks like he’s twelve.”  
  
Junhoe laughed at Hanbin’s answer, his eyes sweeping around the floor. _There_. On the other side of the gym, there was a purple belt that Junhoe didn’t recognize, and Hanbin wasn’t lying--he was really short. Almost so small that Junhoe wondered if he was really supposed to meet him on the mat? Wouldn’t he just crush him right away?  
  
“How am I supposed to fight him?” Junhoe asked.  
  
“On your knees?” Hanbin replied, and it set Junhoe off laughing again.  
  
“June-ya, don’t get cocky,” came the voice of his coach, and both boys bristled at being caught, “Mr. Kim, you can go and have a seat. You’ve been enough of a distraction already.”  
  
Hanbin grinned and bowed to Junhoe’s coach before apologizing and excusing himself back up into the stands. Junhoe apologized as well, but his coach just shook his head and didn’t berate him any further. He understood that Junhoe’s way to blow off pre-match nerves was to talk shit. Junhoe was always polite to the face of his opponents.  
  
“Don’t underestimate someone based on their size,” his coach started that lecture, though, and Junhoe took it in stride, “we’ve never seen him before, he may be powerful. Sometimes a more compact frame is a blessing, it provides more stability.”  
  
Junhoe listened and nodded politely, though in his head he was already picturing himself standing victorious over the tiny little boy he was supposed to be facing. He really couldn’t have envisioned a better first match for himself.  
  
They met on the floor and Junhoe couldn’t wipe the comical smirk from his face even as he bowed to his opponent. The kid looked even smaller up close. He also had a very cute heart-shaped mole under his right eye, and Junhoe thought it looked ridiculous. The kid didn’t look anything like a fighter.  
  
Even though it was obvious that Junhoe was judging him based on his size, eyeing him up and down before smirking, Jinhwan just smiled back at him, open and friendly and _eager_. Eager for what? Junhoe pondered. An ass kicking?  
  
Junhoe would gladly deliver him one.  
  
Ten minutes later, though, he was sitting in the stands, _fuming angry_.  
  
Turns out that Kim Jinhwan was a fucking prodigy. Junhoe had never been so thoroughly dominated before _in his life_. Jinhwan’s reflexes were lightning quick, his legs much stronger than Junhoe had expected. But beyond anything physical, Jinhwan’s most impressive quality was _strategy_. He recognized his smaller stature and he used it to his favour, seemingly walking into things only to reverse the moves to his own advantage.  
  
Junhoe had scored the first takedown and he’d been so surprised when Jinhwan hadn’t so much as struggled, but as soon as they hit the floor Jinhwan took advantage of Junhoe’s momentary lapse in concentration to sweep him into a reversed position, and then to Junhoe’s utter humiliation the kid had actually claimed a fucking mount position.  
  
Junhoe hated being mounted, despised it. It was an utter humiliation move in his eyes, and he much preferred being on the dominant side of the mount. But Jinhwan had mounted him _three times_ in their fight. Junhoe hadn’t been able to mount Jinhwan at all.  
  
Further humiliation had come at the end of the match as they shook hands. Jinhwan had leaned in close, whispering in his ear. Junhoe would never forget the words.  
  
“ _I assume you just got promoted up from blue belt? Not a bad first fight, keep your head up, you’ll do better._ ”  
  
It was obvious from the look on Jinhwan’s face that he _knew_ that Junhoe was not a fresh purple belt. Junhoe had never wanted to knock someone out so bad before in his life.  
  
Junhoe was sitting by himself in the stands (even Hanbin was keeping his distance for the moment) his eyes trained on Kim Jinhwan, who was across the gym floor celebrating his win with his teammates and friends. There was some guy there dressed in what Junhoe considered a very obnoxious hip hop get up (the sort of clothes Hanbin would probably wear, actually, and the comparison made Junhoe even angrier for some reason) and he was sitting next to Jinhwan, laughing and gesturing with his arms, as though he were recreating the fight.  
  
Junhoe wished he had psychic powers, because he’d love to fling the entire stand they were sitting on into the wall. Hard. _Really hard_.

* * *

  
Two hours later found Hanbin once again in the concession line, buying drinks. After the humiliation of his first defeat, Junhoe had gone on to utterly decimate his second opponent. Hanbin thought it was a combination of anger after losing the first fight, and Junhoe needing to rake up an impressive amount of points in order to secure moving into the next round.  
  
He’d moved on and had just finished his round of sixteen fight, coming in victorious. But he was still ruffled over losing the first one, so Hanbin had left him alone to stew while he bought him a drink. Throughout the day Hanbin had watched out for the other guy, Jinhwan, whenever he could spare a glance. He managed to destroy his second opponent the same way he’d destroyed Junhoe (which made Hanbin feel a little better, because it proved that he really was just that amazing) and even his round of sixteen fight had been impressive.  
  
During boring matches Hanbin had found his eyes wandering into the stands, always looking for Jinhwan. Well, to be fair, it wasn’t really Jinhwan he was looking for--it was his friend.  
  
The same guy who’s outfit had screamed _obnoxious_ to Junhoe was indeed what drew Hanbin’s attention. One of the areas in which he and Junhoe differed was in their taste in music. They liked a lot of similar artists (most importantly Michael Jackson and Queen) but where Hanbin preferred hip hop, Junhoe was more into rock and blues.  
  
This dude, though, was clearly into hip hop. Hanbin actually owned the same Been Trill snapback the guy was wearing, and he had his Supreme hoodie in three different colours. He walked with the kind of confident swagger that always drew Hanbin’s attention. Normally he’d find a way to go and talk to the guy (or at least make his interest obvious) but he couldn’t flirt with the friend of Junhoe’s newest sworn enemy.  
  
After all, wasn’t it _the friend of my enemy is also my enemy_? Not _the friend of my enemy is now my love interest_? Junhoe would murder him if he knew.  
  
But, of course, just as luck would have it--  
  
“Hey, you’re friends with that big guy, right?”  
  
Hanbin turned in confusion to the voice that was speaking behind him, his eyes falling on the very snapbacked figure he’d just been thinking about. “What big guy?” Hanbin was not about to get friendly with him, though, not after the pounding his friend had given Junhoe.  
  
The guy smiled back and the first thing Hanbin noticed were his crooked front teeth. They made him think of a rabbit with the way they protruded.  
  
“Junhoe, was it? The cocky tall dude that my midget best friend kicked the shit out of earlier.”  
  
The laugh bubbled out of Hanbin before he could stop it. _Shit_. He was going to have to fight himself on this one, apparently. “Oh yeah, the little guy! He’s really good.”  
  
Bunny boy smiled again and Hanbin felt utterly _doomed_ at the way his heart fluttered in his chest. _Fuck_.  
  
“If he hears you calling him _little guy_ he might knock you on your ass next!” The comment was said with a cheery laugh, no trace of a threat to accompany the words. Fine. If this guy was going to play friendly, then Hanbin would have to do the same. Just out of politeness.  
  
“Ah he can try!” Hanbin replied with an equally friendly smile, “I am a rather accomplished boxer, though, so he might be surprised at who ends up on the floor.”  
  
To Hanbin’s horror bunny boy’s smile grew so wide his eyes were barely visible (and _fuck_ if it didn’t make him look absolutely _adorable_ ) and he clapped an amiable hand on Hanbin’s shoulder.  
  
“You box? That’s super cool! My older brother is into boxing. It seems like a fun sport.”  
  
Hanbin smiled back. He really needed to find a way to end this conversation, because bunny boy was _really_ tugging on him in the worst possible way. “Do you do any sports?” But as much as he wanted to end the conversation, apparently his brain had other ideas.  
  
“Just basketball.” came the response, and Hanbin hated himself for getting excited over it. Junhoe was _never_ going to forgive him. _Never_.  
  
“I play basketball too! Hold the free throw record at school,” he replied, never one to shy away from bragging about his accomplishments. Bunny boy’s smile settled into something a bit softer (and dare Hanbin say even _affectionate_ ) and he just stared at him for a minute before speaking.  
  
“Why don’t I get your number? We can shoot hoops together sometime, because I’m pretty good at free throws myself.”  
  
There weren’t many times that Hanbin fantasized about having super powers (like stopping time, or erasing people’s memories) but he was dreaming about exactly that right now. Was he really about to exchange numbers with this guy? This guy, who was friends with the enemy?  
  
“That sounds awesome!” Hanbin was horrified to hear himself give his number out, equally as horrified when he saved the number in his own phone (the guy’s name was Bobby, but Hanbin still saved it as _Bunny Boy_ ). They parted ways then and Hanbin wondered if he shouldn’t head to the bathroom to check his face in the mirror. Maybe he was coming down with something? (He was _definitely_ coming down with something, and that something was an _ass kicking_ as soon as Junhoe found out about the number exchange.)  
  
He schooled his features and headed back up to the top of the stands where Junhoe was sitting ( _sulking_ ) and handed him an ice cold Gatorade in his favourite flavour.  
  
“What took you so long?” Junhoe asked, grabbing the drink and gulping it in irritation.  
  
Had he really been that long? “Uh, long line at the register. Some grandma paying with a bunch of change.” Hanbin hastily uncapped his own drink and took a long gulp, hoping Junhoe wouldn’t continue on their topic.  
  
Junhoe’s thoughts were actually still on his embarrassing defeat from earlier (the first time in _five years_ that he’d suffered a defeat in the first stage) and he couldn’t stop thinking about that annoying short kid. What the fuck was name again? Jinhwan? Whatever. Junhoe had simply underestimated him based on his size, that was all. Jinhwan was most certainly _not_ faster than him (okay not _that much_ faster, maybe a tiny bit faster, a fraction if he _had_ to admit to it) and his form was not better. He also was _not_ smarter, not at all.  
  
Junhoe had not lost to Jinhwan—he’d lost to _himself_. That’s all there was to it.  
  
“Dude, you’re gonna open a portal to the underworld with all that brooding.”  
  
Junhoe glared at Hanbin, annoyed to have been called out.  
  
“Shut up.”  
  
Hanbin grinned back at him, and maybe this was one of those moments where they were utterly _terrible_ for each other. They were both poor losers, but they were also horrible at showing one another sympathy.  
  
“Why are you even still pissed, anyway? You just destroyed your last two opponents, bro! You’re in a good position for tomorrow.” Hanbin took a swig of his own drink. Now that Junhoe was done, Hanbin was dying to get out of the gym and get some food, but Junhoe wanted to stay and watch the rest of the matches. Maybe since he was in a bad mood, he could convince him otherwise.  
  
“Ah, you’re right,” Junhoe replied, because it was true, Hanbin _was_ right. Why was he still sulking after one stupid match? Maybe if he was lucky he’d get to fight Jinhwan again tomorrow, and he’d be ready for him then. He wouldn’t underestimate him. “You wanna get out of here and get some food?”  
  
“Do I ever, bro!” Junhoe went to change, leaving Hanbin to sit alone in the stands. He couldn’t resist looking for Bobby again, smiling when his eyes fell on him. He really hoped Bobby was going to have a shit personality, because Hanbin was falling for him _hard_.

* * *

  
“What took you so long? I’m about to pass out, I feel like a dying man in the Sahara!” Jinhwan whined when Bobby reappeared finally, drinks in hand.  
  
“Bullshit, there’s a water fountain just in the hall!” Bobby laughingly replied, handing him a bottle of water.  
  
“I don’t drink water out of a fountain,” Jinhwan shot back, mockingly pretentious, “I’m too good for that.”  
  
“Ah right, you’re not one of the common folk,” Bobby carried on, “my apologies, His Royal Highness.”  
  
Jinhan grinned and took a long gulp. “Apology accepted. Now explain your delay!”  
  
It was Bobby’s turn to grin back. “I was just getting a phone number.”  
  
Jinhwan huffed and rolled his eyes. “I can’t bring you anywhere.”  
  
“I couldn’t help it!” Bobby protested. “I swear it wasn’t my intention! You’re gonna laugh when I tell you who it is, though.”  
  
Jinhwan was almost certain that he probably didn’t want to know, but he’d play along, only because Bobby was his best friend and he liked dramatic reveals. “Please tell me it’s not one of the master class guys?”  
  
Bobby laughed at the teasing attempt. “What? No, they’re what, like 30? Not into old dudes.” Bobby looked around suddenly, like he was checking to make sure no one was around. It had Jinhwan worried.  
  
“Remember that guy whose ass you kicked in the first fight?”  
  
Jinhwan’s mouth dropped open in shock. “Why would you get his number?!” Jinhwan almost couldn’t believe Bobby-- _almost_.  
  
“Not him!” Bobby replied, “his friend! I was behind him in the line for drinks, and I swear all I meant to do was say hi. But then he turned around and looked at me, and man, let me tell you…”  
  
Jinhwan shook his head. On one hand, at least it wasn’t the guy he’d faced, because that kid just screamed arrogant asshole, and Jinhwan didn’t want Bobby dating someone like that. But on the other hand… If the guy was _friends_ with him, then he was probably just as bad. Jinhwan didn’t reply to Bobby’s comment, he just gave him a disappointed shake of the head.  
  
Bobby wasn’t deterred, though. “Seriously Jinan, he has the cutest face I’ve ever seen!” He really did. Bobby had _a thing_ for cute guys. As much as he liked to look at dudes with hot bodies, he was the world’s biggest sucker for cute faces.  
  
“Cuter than me?” Jinhwan whined, pouting at his best friend. He’d never heard Bobby gush so hard about someone he’d just met.  
  
“Much cuter than you.” Bobby replied with a wink.  
  
“Now I know you’re lying, because that’s impossible.” Jinhwan responded with a grin. “But in all honesty, are you sure it’s a good idea? What do you even know about him?”  
  
“Nothing, hence why I want his number. You know, so we can talk?” Bobby sarcastically shot back.  
  
Jinhwan grinned back at him. “Simmer down, I’m just trying to protect you from your own bad decisions.” He watched as Bobby just shook his head and smiled to himself, his habit when he was annoyed and didn’t want anyone to know.  
  
“Wow Bobby, you’re actually giving me attitude over this? You really must have it bad for him.” Jinhwan laughed when Bobby blushed. This was an entirely different side of him that he’d never seen before.  
  
“Ah, sorry. I just really like him? There’s something special about him. I know I just met him, but you know, sometimes you meet someone, and you just _know_ that they’re right for you? Laugh at me all you want, Jinan, but that’s how I feel about him.”  
  
If Jinhwan had been asked to write down a list of things he never expected to ever hear Bobby say, what he’d just said about this new kid he met would probably be right at the top, next to “ _I’m really attracted to women_ ”. Bobby never really _fell_ for people, or at least he hadn’t until now. Jinhwan actually thought it was sweet.  
  
“Wow, look at you,” he said in wonderment, “it sounds like little Bobby Kim might be _falling in love_?”  
  
Bobby reached out to punch him in the shoulder. “Shut up! I wouldn’t go quite that far, I mean, I just met the guy..”  
  
Jinhwan couldn’t wipe the smirk off his face as he watched Bobby’s cheeks flush red. He resisted the urge to squeal, but honestly, Bobby being all cutely sentimental over some guy he’d just spoken to for the first time ever?  
  
Jinhwan had to turn away to hide his expression, because the more he thought about it, the cuter it was. Bobby hated being called cute. He always wanted to be _cool_ , wanted to be _tough_. But this? Blushing over some guy?  
  
Jinhwan couldn’t help himself.  
  
“Ahh, Bobby, this is so _cute_!”  
  
And tomorrow, if Jinhwan lost the final, he’d blame it on the punch Bobby just gave his shoulder.  
  
Still--worth it.


	2. The Guard

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tensions mount as a new rivalry develops, but nothing keeps you fresher than the witty banter of your best friend.

Junhoe slowly munched on a slice of pizza, his eyes on his best friend. Hanbin was exchanging text messages with someone, and it was starting to get on Junhoe’s nerves.  
  
“Am I keeping you from something more important?” He asked, annoyed eyes on Hanbin.  
  
“Something more important than you? Didn’t know that was possible.” Hanbin replied, though he took the cue to put his phone away. He’d actually been texting with Bobby, but he’d also exchanged a few messages with his mom--just to be safe in case Junhoe asked. Hanbin hated outright lying, he was terrible at it. He had no problem fudging the truth, though, or simply omitting information.  
  
Junhoe grinned at the answer. “You sweet talker, you.”  
  
Hanbin grabbed another slice of pizza, stuffing his mouth with a bite before mumbling a response. “Only the best for my top bro!”  
  
“So, who were you texting anyway?” It’s not that Junhoe really cared so much _who_ Hanbin was talking to, it was more that he was bothered about Hanbin texting someone else while they were supposed to be having dinner in celebration of Junhoe’s victories.  
  
“My mom. She was telling me about Hanbyul’s day. She’s started teaching her how to count, so Hanbyul’s been going around the house counting everything.” That much was true, and Hanbin thought it was adorable. He loved his little sister, thought she was the cutest thing in the entire world.  
  
“Aw, that’s sweet!” Junhoe replied, “when you get home she can count how much of a loser you are.”  
  
“That’s not even tangible!” Hanbin answered. “How would she even count that?”  
  
Junhoe shrugged. “Introduce her to experimental mathematics?”  
  
Hanbin groaned and kicked Junhoe underneath the table. “That doesn’t mean what you think it means!”  
  
Junhoe grinned and kicked him back. “Calm down, nerd! I was just trying to make a lame joke, okay?”  
  
“Well it _was_ lame, I’ll grant you that much.” Hanbin took another bite of pizza and tried to ignore his phone when he saw the new message light go off. This was ridiculous, honestly. He’d just met Bobby. He didn’t need to be texting him constantly right away. Shouldn’t he be establishing some sort of limit on their communication?  
  
“So you’re coming for the whole show tomorrow, right?” Junhoe asked, grabbing another slice of pizza.  
  
“Of course. What time’s your first match?” Bobby had already asked him if he was going back tomorrow, and Hanbin was thrilled to learn that Bobby would be there with Jinhwan again.  
  
“I’m going there for ten.” Junhoe answered, grinning when Hanbin glared at him.  
  
“That’s not a real answer!” Hanbin didn’t mind heading there early again (because Bobby was going to be there early with Jinhwan too) but it would be suspicious if he didn’t complain to Junhoe.  
  
“Well, they might change the time of my first match, so I want to be ready!” Junhoe grabbed his Pepsi, taking a long swig of it before finishing off his slice.  
  
Hanbin rolled his eyes and pushed his chair back so he could slink down in his seat a bit, all the better angle from which to glare at Junhoe. “Fine! Your mom driving again?”  
  
“Yeah, she wants to come and watch me in the final too.” When he’d first started out competing, his parents had come to every tournament and stayed with him the entire time. But as he got older, Junhoe preferred them to come only for finals. It got awkward having to entertain family members in between his matches.  
  
“Hope you make it that far!” Hanbin retorted, dodging the kick he knew was coming his way.  
  
“Did you take a look at the brackets?” Junhoe asked him, and Hanbin shook his head.  
  
“Was I supposed to?”  
  
Junhoe shook his head in disgust. “Why do I keep deluding myself into thinking that you care?”  
  
Hanbin grinned back at him. “Oh quit whining and tell me whatever it is you wanted to tell me.”  
  
“If all goes well tomorrow, there’s a good chance I’ll meet that midget in the final.”  
  
Hanbin had to fake his surprise. He hadn’t looked at the brackets, but Bobby had told him that if their friends won tomorrow, they’d be meeting at the end. “Ah, Jinhwan?”  
  
“Whatever his name is,” Junhoe said, voice heavy with disinterest, “I hope I face him so I can get my revenge.”  
  
Hanbin nodded, and while he wanted it to happen just so Junhoe would shut up about it, part of him worried that if they did meet again, Jinhwan would come out victorious a second time (and then he’d _never_ be able to date Bobby--not that he was trying to, or anything).  
  
“Well then you’d better kick ass in your quarter and semi!” Hanbin replied, and he quickly made a grab for the last slice of pizza. “I’ll eat this so you’re not sluggish on your feet tomorrow.”  
  
Junhoe glared at him before falling into quiet contemplation about his matches. He wanted to meet Jinhwan again as much as he’d ever wanted anything--he _needed_ to make up for his loss, _needed_ to prove himself to everyone who’d seen the match.  
  
He wasn’t trying to prove anything to Jinhwan, though, he didn’t care about the little shrimp that much (though it would be nice to give him a scathing victory comment). Jinhwan was so insignificant, he was nothing more than a little stepping stone to Junhoe’s development. Junhoe had been coasting for too long, his skills hadn’t really been tested. Jinhwan was just a blip on the radar, an outlier in Junhoe’s statistics. A reminder not to slack off.  
  
If he spent all night planning his victory speech against Jinhwan, so what? That didn’t mean he actually cared about the kid’s opinion. Not one bit.

* * *

  
“Seriously, Bobby, I don’t think I’ve ever seen you smiling this much before?” Jinhwan teased, pausing the movie they were watching (well, the movie _he_ was watching--Bobby was more concerned with his phone) and staring at his best friend from his side of the couch.  
  
Bobby frowned and put his phone down, knowing what Jinhwan was talking about and not wanting to have to admit anything. He’d been texting Hanbin for the past hour (it was so easy to talk to him!) and he guessed his excitement must have been showing on his face if Jinhwan had paused his movie to comment on it.  
  
“I think it’s moving a bit fast, but as long as you’re happy I guess I’ll support you. Just promise me I’ll be your best man at the wedding?” Jinhwan teased again, nudging Bobby with his foot.  
  
“Shut up, Jinan!” Bobby whined, grabbing a pillow and smacking Jinhwan in the head with it.  
  
Jinhwan just laughed, though, not deterred in the slightest. “I think I’ve probably watched this in a movie before; it’s so nice to see it playing out in front of my own eyes!”  
  
“Seriously, shut up before I kick your ass!”  
  
“You are welcome to try. To make it fair I’ll handicap myself and tie one arm up.” Jinhwan grabbed his own pillow and whacked Bobby in the head, grinning when Bobby hit him again. Their pillow fight lasted a good minute before Jinhwan flung his to the floor and dove on top of Bobby, smothering him in a full body lock.  
  
“Not fair!” Bobby whined. “You promised to never use your jiu-jitsu moves on me!”  
  
“Yeah, well, I lied!” Jinhwan grinned and tightened his hold. “I’ll let you go when you answer a few simple questions for me.” Bobby groaned but Jinhwan only tightened his legs.  
  
“Who’s the coolest guy you know?”  
  
Bobby sighed. “Kim Jinhwan.”  
  
“Who’s the toughest guy you know?”  
  
“Kim Jinhwan.”  
  
“Who’s the hottest guy you know?”  
  
Bobby whined and struggled, but Jinhwan had his arms locked tight to his body. “It used to be Kim Jinhwan,” Bobby said, grinning when he heard Jinhwan grumble, “but it’s Kim Hanbin now!”  
  
He was rewarded for his backtalk with a smack to the side of his head. Jinhwan still let him go anyway. “Eh, I can’t fault you for that one, I guess.”  
  
Bobby scrambled up as soon as Jinhwan let him go. “You’re so strong for being so small.” Bobby complained, rubbing his arm.  
  
“Ah, flattery will get you nowhere, but backhanded compliments will get you hit again!” Jinhwan threatened as he picked the remote up, stretching back out and putting his feet in Bobby’s lap.  
  
Bobby let him do it, biting back a complaint. “So, now that we’ve exhausted conversation relating to my blossoming love life, should we discuss yours?”  
  
Jinhwan snorted in response. “My non-existent love life, you mean?”  
  
“We really need to do something about that already! You’d probably be more pleasant if we found you a nice boyfriend.” While Bobby himself had dated a few different guys, he only knew of one guy in Jinhwan’s life (some guy he’d dated last year when he was still living with his mom on Jeju Island). Despite being his best friend, Jinhwan had never really given him too many details about the guy. All Bobby actually knew about him was that he was older than Jinhwan and they’d had sex. Even that Jinhwan had told him accidentally.  
  
“I don’t have time for a boyfriend, Bobby!” Jinhwan complained, wanting to drop the subject. It’s not that Jinhwan didn’t want a boyfriend (if he was being honest with himself, he actually _really_ wanted a boyfriend, he missed having one) but there were too many obstacles and right now it was better to just forget it. He preferred to focus on fighting and school. A boyfriend would only distract from both.  
  
Bobby rolled his eyes and pinched Jinhwan’s big toe, grinning when Jinhwan flinched and glared at him. “Come on, you need to live a little, Jinan! Don’t you want some hot guy to make out with?”  
  
Jinhwan shook his head and was tempted to kick Bobby. “Doesn’t everyone? There are more important things, though.”  
  
“What about that dude you fought? Hanbin’s friend, Junhoe? Now that’s a guy with a hot face!” Bobby had only brought him up to annoy Jinhwan.  
  
“Ugh, that arrogant asshole? No thanks. No face is worth that attitude.” Jinhwan did _not_ want to think about Junhoe’s face (because it _was_ really hot) and he cursed Bobby for bringing it up.  
  
“Come on, are you telling me you wouldn’t hit that if the opportunity presented itself?” Bobby teased, grinning when Jinhwan glared at him.  
  
“Oh I’d _hit_ him, alright, but it would be with my fist.” Jinhwan recognized Junhoe’s type from a mile away. He was the sort of guy who thought he deserved the entire world, handed to him on a silver platter. Spoiled brat, and judging from his fighting style, he was probably a bully at school too. You couldn’t pay Jinhwan to even contemplate the thought of kissing someone like Junhoe.  
  
“So violent, Jinan! I bet it’ll be a passionate romance.” Bobby teased him again and paid for it seconds later when Jinhwan rolled to the floor and put him in an ankle lock.

* * *

  
“Do well on your fights, sweetheart, make sure you text me your results, okay?”  
  
Junhoe grabbed his bag from the trunk of his mom’s car, slightly annoyed when she got out to give him a hug. Couldn’t she just drop him off with a simple goodbye and good luck?!  
  
“I talked to your sister and she’s going to come too! We’ll all be there to cheer you on!”  
  
Junhoe bit back the groan he wanted to utter, standing stiffly as his mother gave him a tight hug. He was shit with physical displays of affection from anyone, but _especially_ his mom. At least in public. He hugged his mom all the time at home, but that was in private, where no one else would see. It’s not that he was concerned with his reputation or anything like that. Okay maybe he was. Maybe he didn’t want to look soft in front of anyone.  
  
Whatever. If anyone laughed at him for hugging his mom he’d just kick their ass.  
  
“Hanbin-ah, you look after my baby today! I’m thankful he’s got such a good friend to come and stay with him.”  
  
Junhoe rolled his eyes in irritation as his mom also hugged Hanbin. They got along perfectly with each other’s families, and yeah, maybe he was being hypocritical again because if this were Hanbin’s mom dropping them off at one of Hanbin’s competitions, Junhoe would be making the same chummy jokes with her at Hanbin’s expense.  
  
“Don’t worry about him, Mrs. Koo! I’ll make sure he’s well fed, and if he needs his diaper changed I can handle that too!” Hanbin teased, winking at Junhoe’s irritated glare.  
  
“Shut up before I kick your ass!” Junhoe threatened him.  
  
“Fat chance of that happening! One punch from these fists and you’ll be on the ground seeing so many stars you’d think you were watching Running Man.” Hanbin playfully retorted, and Junhoe’s response was cut off by his mom.  
  
“Really now, boys?”  
  
Hanbin turned to her with a smile, putting his arm around her shoulders. “Ah I’m only teasing! I’d never punch him, at least not in the face. It’s the only thing he’s got going for him.”  
  
Junhoe shook his head, feeling betrayed when his mom laughed. She bid him good luck one last time before getting back in her car, and Junhoe waved as she drove away before turning back to Hanbin and playfully smacking the side of his face.  
  
“Stop being a pest!”  
  
Hanbin grinned and took it, though, always happy to help Junhoe’s mom embarrass him. “Your mom’s just worried about her little boy! Wants to make--OW!” Junhoe cut him off with another slap.  
  
“Stop annoying me.”  
  
“You know, you’re lucky it’s match day! Otherwise I’d totally hit you back.” Hanbin grabbed Junhoe’s bag out of his hands, slinging it over his shoulder. “Let me carry this for you, don’t want you to hurt yourself before your next fight.”  
  
They made their way into the venue, stopping to check the schedule of fights. Junhoe had fought his first opponent before (twice) and had beaten him both times. He was feeling confident that he’d win that one. He studied the other bracket as well, mapping out Jinhwan’s potential opponents on his route to the final. Junhoe knew his quarter final opponent, but wasn’t familiar with either of the guys he might face in the semi. He’d have to watch those matches.  
  
While they got settled in their usual spot inside the gym, outside the gym Bobby and Jinhwan were being dropped off by Bobby’s older brother.  
  
“Kill it today, Jinan-ie!”  
  
Jinhwan walked over to the driver’s side window, bumping fists with Bobby’s brother.

“Thanks, hyung! Thank you for driving us too, I appreciate it!”  
  
Jiun waved his comment off. “Ah, no problem! Wish I had the day off so I could watch your matches. Make sure Jiwon-ie texts me, okay? I want to stay updated on your progress.”  
  
“I’ll text you every single little detail!” Bobby replied, “I’ll send you so much you’ll block my number.”  
  
Jiun shook his head and laughed. “You better not! Only important updates so I can sneak in checking my messages during work.”  
  
“I’ll make sure he doesn’t go overboard,” Jinhwan promised, “we’ll send you a pic with my trophy after I win it!”  
  
“That’s what I like to hear,” Jiun replied. “I know you’ll do your best! We’re all proud of you no matter the result, though.”  
  
Jinhwan couldn’t keep the smile off his face at Jiun’s words—it felt so nice to have such strong support. “Thanks again, hyung. Hope work isn’t too bad today!” They stood back as Jiun pulled away, waving a final goodbye to Bobby’s brother.  
  
“Ready to go in and kick ass?” Bobby asked, and Jinhwan grinned before sliding an arm around Bobby’s waist.  
  
“Am I ever! It’s a nice day out to celebrate a few victories.”  
  
Bobby’s arm snaked its way around Jinhwan’s shoulders and they walked into the venue together in good spirits. Jinhwan felt good about his chances today, confident and assured he could make it all the way through to the final. It wasn’t just conceited over-confidence, either. He’d studied all of his opponents, familiarized himself with everyone’s usual styles. There was a calmness in him borne of the knowledge that he was _good enough_ to be victorious today.  
  
“So, did you text your mom about yesterday’s results?” Bobby asked him, and the question made Jinhwan bristle.  
  
“Nope. I’ll text her after I win the final.” Bobby didn’t respond with words—only a frown—and it got on Jinhwan’s nerves. “How many times do I have to tell you? It’s pointless to tell her much about my fights, she probably wouldn’t even respond to the message.”  
  
“Give her a chance, at least.” Bobby replied. “You won’t know if she cares if you don’t even tell her.”  
  
“She never cared when I was at home, why would she start caring now that I’ve left?” Jinhwan had come to accept his family’s disinterest in his jiu-jitsu years ago. He’d be lying if he said it didn’t bother him (though that’s _exactly_ what he’d say if anyone asked him) but he’d decided to spend this year focusing on himself instead of worrying about trying to please his mother.  
  
“Absence makes the heart grow fonder?” Bobby replied.  
  
Jinhwan snorted in disagreement. “More like, absence makes the alienation grow deeper.”  
  
Bobby sighed, giving up for the time being. “Alright, fine! Just mark it down in your calendar that I tried, okay?”  
  
Jinhwan grinned and tightened his arm around Bobby’s waist. “I appreciate you trying, I really do. But I can’t spend my time worrying about making my mom happy anymore. I tried that for two years and I was miserable. This year is about me!”  
  
Bobby tightened his arm around Jinhwan’s shoulders, relieved Jinhwan wasn’t upset with him. For Bobby, who was so consumed with family, Jinhwan’s situation with his was nearly unfathomable. But Bobby’s parents supported his dreams (everything from basketball to rapping) while Jinhwan’s family had a very strict life plan laid out for him, and it had never included jiu-jitsu. He still had trouble understanding that Jinhwan had chosen to follow his own dreams, letting it come between himself and his mother.  
  
It just made Bobby that much more appreciative of his parents, and grateful as well for the way they so easily accepted Jinhwan into their family structure. Even Bobby’s older brother treated Jinhwan like his own flesh and blood, and Bobby was happy that he was at least able to provide Jinhwan with a makeshift family in the absence of his own.  
  
But he still wanted to believe he could help Jinhwan sort it all out. He wanted to believe that Jinhwan’s mother would come around one day. She’d be crazy not to.

* * *

  
Quarter finals went exactly as planned—both boys easily defeated their opponents. Junhoe wanted another Gatorade after his victory, so Hanbin got up to wander off to the concession stand to get one, leaving Junhoe on his own, taking a selfie to send to his family. On the way there he typed a hasty text to Bobby, because after all the texting from last night and this morning, he really wanted to see him again.  
  
\- _come buy drinks?_ -  
  
Bobby’s response came quick.  
  
\- _k wait 4 me_ -  
  
Hanbin took his place in the lineup, his stomach fluttering nervously for some stupid reason. Was he really getting that into this guy? There wasn’t anything overtly special about Bobby (except for _everything_ ) so Hanbin wasn’t sure why he was freaking out over him so much. Was it just because Bobby was so obviously into him? Was it just the over-interest that was working its magic?  
  
It’s not like Hanbin lacked for confidence, so that realistically couldn’t be it. Was it just his dumb face? The stupid bunny teeth? At that moment he felt a pair of ( _warm, big_ ) hands settle across his eyes.  
  
“Guess who?”  
  
Hanbin couldn’t help but smile at the utter dorkiness of it all.  
  
“With that deep voice, I hope it’s TOP!” Hanbin pulled Bobby’s hands away from his eyes and turned his head to look over his shoulder, frowning for comic effect when he saw Bobby’s face. “Ah, disappointment.”  
  
Bobby sighed and shook his head (and tried not to freak out because Hanbin was still holding his hands?) before answering. “Hey, I’ll have you know I can actually do a pretty decent TOP impersonation!”  
  
“Oh, can you?” Hanbin sarcastically asked, squeezing Bobby’s hands before dropping them. “You’ll have to demonstrate for me some time, then.”  
  
“I will. And you’ll like it!” Bobby stepped up to the counter and placed his order before looking back at Hanbin. “What do you want?”  
  
“Just order yours, I’ll get mine.” Hanbin wasn’t sure if Bobby was trying to buy his stuff too?  
  
“Oh come on, let me buy your drinks! We can meet here again later and you can buy for me then?” Bobby offered, amused that Hanbin seemed so taken aback at the offer.  
  
“Fine,” Hanbin gave his own order too, smiling as he watched Bobby pay for them, “I can’t believe you’re already asking me on a follow up concession stand date.”  
  
“Oh, is that what this is?” Bobby asked with a grin, taking their drinks and stepping to the side. “Are we on a date?”  
  
Hanbin glared at him (good natured glare, though, because he definitely did not want Bobby to think he was offended). “I was joking!”  
  
“I was kind of hoping our first date would be something a little more special than buying drinks, but if that’s how you want it, then okay.” Without warning, Bobby grabbed Hanbin’s hand and swiftly brought it up to his mouth, pressing a light kiss to the back of it.  
  
Hanbin couldn’t believe him. _What a dork!_ It was cute, though. He really hoped he wasn’t blushing.  
  
Bobby grinned and dropped Hanbin’s hand, watching his reaction. He’d been 99% certain Hanbin was gay and into him, but sometimes guys were a little further in the closet than they let on at first, and when you made a direct move it freaked them out. But Hanbin seemed fine. That meant he was definitely safe.  
  
“If we were dating, I’d dump you for that,” Hanbin teased, “that was a class A dork move.”  
  
“Sure was, if you mean a for adorable!” Bobby replied, beaming when Hanbin groaned.  
  
“More like a for atrocious!” Hanbin whined, but his frown quickly turned to a smile when Bobby laughed.  
  
“I really like talking to you, Hanbin.” Bobby couldn’t stop himself from saying it out loud. He and Jinhwan had excellent bantering skills, and he was pleased that Hanbin was just as entertaining of a conversational partner.  
  
Hanbin looked away, certain he was blushing. Could they not get through one conversation without Bobby being cute? It was such a change from his typical conversations with Junhoe that Hanbin wasn’t sure what to do in response. No one had ever been so cute to him before.  
  
“Anyway, with that awkward confession out of the way, we should probably get back to our respective partners.” Bobby didn’t want to say goodbye just yet, but he was supposed to be here for Jinhwan. Not just to flirt with Hanbin.  
  
“Yeah, Junhoe’s gonna give me the third degree if I take too long,” Hanbin agreed, “but let’s schedule another concession stand date for later?”  
  
Bobby grinned back and could barely restrain himself from popping a little kiss on Hanbin’s cheek. “Deal! Hope Junhoe’s semi-final goes well!”  
  
“Same to you! Wish Jinhwan luck from me!”  
  
Bobby let Hanbin walk out first (since they didn’t want to leave the hall together, lest Junhoe see them) and he watched his back as he walked away. God he had it _so bad_ for Hanbin! He’d never fallen for someone so ridiculously fast before. In fact, despite having had his fair share of boyfriends, Bobby hadn’t actually experienced being _in love_ before.  
  
Maybe it was a little early to tell, but he kind of felt like maybe Hanbin would be his first? He hoped so. After enough time had passed Bobby walked back into the gym, climbing up the stands to where he’d left Jinhwan.  
  
“How did the concession line date go?” Jinhwan asked with a smirk as Bobby sat down. “I watched it from here, by the way, if you lay down flat you can just see where you were.”  
  
“Seriously?” Bobby asked, amused that Jinhwan would bother.  
  
“I can’t believe you pulled the lame hands-over-the-eyes _guess who_! Pathetic.” Jinhwan took his bottle of water and shook his head.  
  
“He thought it was cute!” Bobby retorted, even though it wasn’t exactly the truth.  
  
“Did he really?” Jinhwan asked, because he knew Bobby was lying.  
  
Bobby just frowned at him before shaking his head. “Okay fine, he kind of made fun of me for it.”  
  
Jinhwan laughed and patted his knee. “I think I like this kid after all!”  
  
“You better! I’m seeing him again.”  
  
Jinhwan nearly choked on his water, laughing at Bobby’s admission. “Oh, are you? When?”  
  
Bobby looked at his watch. “In an hour? After your semi-final.”  
  
Jinhwan grinned. “Another Gatorade get-together?”  
  
Bobby laughed and looked out across the gym floor. Hanbin was currently giving Junhoe a shoulder rub, and they were laughing about something. Just seeing him look happy made Bobby happy too. “Yeah, I bought his drinks this time, so he has to buy mine next time.”  
  
“Well get me a bigger bottle, then!” Jinhwan teased, following Bobby’s line of sight and watching as Hanbin gave a shoulder rub to his rival. The gesture softened Jinhwan’s expectations for Hanbin just a little, but they also made him just a bit jealous.  
  
“Hey, how come you never give me shoulder massages?” Jinhwan asked Bobby.  
  
“Am I supposed to be doing that?” Bobby asked, looking back at his best friend.  
  
“You would if you cared.” Jinhwan replied with a sniff, his lips pulled in a dramatic pout.  
  
“Good thing I don’t care, then!” Bobby answered with a laugh, earning him a punch in the leg from Jinhwan.  
  
“Come on, Bobby, be a little more like your new boyfriend!” Jinhwan teased, “just look at him, taking care of that asshole friend of his.”  
  
“Ah stop it,” Bobby replied, face flushed in mild embarrassment, “we’re not dating, just interested.”  
  
“Yet!” Jinhwan carried on. “Then again, it might all crash and burn later if Junhoe makes it to the final and I kick his ass a second time. What are you guys gonna do then?”  
  
Bobby frowned and tried to just laugh it off. “Hey, he and I are more than just the sum of our best friends’ rivalry!” What would happen, though, if Jinhwan beat Junhoe a second time?

“You say that now, but everything might change. He seems like the type who probably tries to regulate who his friends date.” Jinhwan frowned, eyes back on the pair across the gym floor. Hanbin was _still_ rubbing Junhoe’s shoulders. Probably wouldn’t even get a thank you for it.  
  
Bobby gratefully pushed aside his worries about Junhoe getting in the way of his possible relationship with Hanbin, instead focusing on Jinhwan. “You know, Jinan, come to think of it, you keep bringing Junhoe up. You sure you’re not harboring something for him in there?”  
  
Jinhwan shot Bobby a murderous glare. “Excuse me? That’s not even funny.”  
  
“No really! I mean I know you have this rivalry and all--”  
  
“He’s an arrogant dick whose ass I can’t wait to kick a _second time_ , that’s all.” Jinhwan interrupted.  
  
“You don’t even know that for sure!” Bobby teased. “You’ve met him _once_ , you can’t judge him on that alone.”  
  
“Sure I can, and I have.” Jinhwan took another sip of water, and Bobby just shook his head. If Junhoe did make it to the final, Bobby really hoped that Jinhwan would come out victorious again. He didn’t want to contemplate how his best friend would react if he lost to someone he was harboring such a bizarrely intense rivalry with.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, we're going to learn more about Jinhwan's family situation (eventually)! And you'll get the story on that mysterious ex-boyfriend too. ;)


	3. Spider Guard

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The tournament final looms large—who's gonna go home with the trophy, and who's just gonna be another loser?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First things first: thanks for the love, glad you guys are enjoying this. ♥
> 
> Important announcement: I honestly don't know much about jiu-jitsu! I've been researching for this story (on moves and counters, and I've watched a bunch of matches) but I do apologize in advance if my match write-up has any issues with it. If by any chance you're reading this and you are into the sport, I'd greatly appreciate feedback on my match description (from a technical standpoint)! I studied videos and read a bunch of posts on bjj forums, so I'm hoping it all sounds good. But if anything is off in the description please don't hesitate in letting me know! Being able to describe everything accurately is very important to me. :)

“Hey mom! Yeah, it went well; yeah of course I beat them! Did you seriously doubt me? My own mother!”  
  
Hanbin grinned as he listened to the phone exchange between Junhoe and his mom. He’d won his semi-final (though it had been closer than he would have liked) and was currently calling her to invite her to come and witness the final match. His opponent still wasn’t decided yet (the second semi-final was being set up right now). They had an hour and a half before the final match for their division in the tournament.  
  
“Well you don’t have to come  _right now_ , the match isn’t happening until four,” Junhoe told her, rolling his eyes at Hanbin, “is Yejin coming too? Of course I want her to come! Tell her to take video and show that boyfriend of hers so he doesn’t step out of line.”  
  
Hanbin couldn’t help it, he burst out laughing as soon as Junhoe said it. Yejin’s boyfriend was not exactly threatening (Hanbin thought he was kind of a nerd) but Junhoe was still protective of his sister anyway, despite her being three years older than him.  
  
He paid for it though when Junhoe kicked his leg, glaring at him while he listened to his mom on the phone. Hanbin shook his head at him and threateningly punched his fist into his own palm. Junhoe was lucky he still had a fight left.  
  
Hanbin looked across the gym, eyes finding Bobby, who was sitting in the front row, attention on Jinhwan. Hanbin smiled without really thinking about it, still charmed by Bobby’s mere existence. It was only worse after talking to him earlier (Hanbin still got goosebumps thinking about how nice Bobby’s hands felt on his face) and Hanbin couldn’t help but be concerned about the outcome of the final (provided Jinhwan beat this last opponent). Would he and Bobby really get together? Hanbin didn’t even know where he lived, or where he went to school. Would they really have time for each other? And what would he even say to Junhoe?  _‘Yeah, so I’m dating the best friend of that guy you hate…’_  
  
It was stupid. Hanbin ought to stop thinking about him so much, but he couldn’t help it. Bobby was everything he found attractive in a guy (above all else he was confident, and Hanbin loved confident people, it was one of the reasons why he liked Junhoe so much) and Hanbin didn’t think he’d really find a guy who matched him as perfectly as Bobby seemed to.  
  
“Okay I’ll see you in a bit, then. Yeah just come find me in the gym, we’re in the bleachers. Text me if you can’t find us!” Junhoe’s voice was mounting in irritation, and Hanbin grinned. His mom was probably being overly sweet in her chat with him. Junhoe had a hard time handling emotion from other people.  
  
“Ugh! She’s so annoying sometimes.” Junhoe huffed as he stowed his phone away.  
  
“Be nice to your mom! You wouldn’t be here without her.” Hanbin couldn’t resist the jab, and Junhoe frowned at him in disgust.  
  
“Okay enough about the family shit, the semi’s about to start!”  
  
They both turned their attention to the match (though Hanbin couldn’t help but look at Bobby a final time) and watched as Jinhwan lined up with his competitor.  
  
Junhoe had been watching all of Jinhwan’s matches so far, trying to find a weakness to exploit. As confidently as he spoke about kicking Jinhwan’s ass, in reality he was a little worried. Jinhwan’s game was very tight, his balance was excellent. He fought each opponent as intelligently as he’d fought Junhoe, critical in his game plan.

Junhoe usually fought opponents with an aggressive plan of action, dominating them with his (usually) bigger size. But Jinhwan was every bit as aggressive as Junhoe usually, and he’d shut him down completely. He’d have to take a different approach with him, more reactive instead of aggressive. Try and exploit mistakes.  
  
As expected, Jinhwan went on to win the match, and Junhoe’s gaze never left him as he celebrated his victory. Maybe it would be better for him if Jinhwan went into the fight overly confident after his first round defeat? He thought he knew Junhoe, he thought he was familiar with everything he had.  
  
Junhoe would show him something unexpected. Jinhwan would be the one sitting in disappointment after their fight, while Junhoe would be the one holding the trophy.  


* * *

  
“Regardless of who wins, I think we’re gonna have to elope.” Hanbin joked, standing by the counter and waiting for their order.  
  
“Would you really run away with me?” Bobby asked, smiling cutely after asking the question.  
  
“Well, I’d think about it.” Hanbin paid for their drinks, turning to face a now frowning Bobby after getting his change. “Don’t misunderstand! I have a little sister, she’d miss me if I left without a word.”  
  
Bobby grinned at the new information. “How old is she?”  
  
“Four,” Hanbin answered, and couldn’t help but smile in return at Bobby’s enthusiastic expression, “do you have any siblings?”  
  
“I have an older brother, Jiun. He’s three years older than me.”  
  
“Ah, so you’re the youngest and I’m the oldest!” Hanbin said, grabbing their drinks and moving to the wall.  
  
“In our families, sure, but I’m older than you, so you’ll have to call me hyung.” Bobby leaned next to Hanbin, who grinned back at him.  
  
“You sure you don’t want me to call you oppa?” Hanbin teased.  
  
Bobby really hoped he wasn’t blushing.  
  
“Ah, you can call me whatever you want!” Bobby replied, too embarrassed to tell Hanbin that  _oppa_  was exactly what he wanted Hanbin to call him. Maybe it was weird, but he kind of liked the way it sounded when Hanbin said it.  
  
Hanbin thought back to earlier, his concerns about after the final. Time to just get it over with.  
  
“So, what’s gonna happen after today?” He looked at Bobby, carefully schooling his expression. But Bobby’s confusion had him feeling confident.  
  
“What do you mean?” Bobby wasn’t sure what Hanbin meant with the question. They’d exchanged numbers, surely they were going to keep talking?  
  
“I don’t even know where you live.” Hanbin got to it quickly.  
  
“Oh! Not that far from here, actually,” Bobby answered, “I live in Gwangjin. You?”  
  
Hanbin felt relieved at the news. Bobby was just across the river. “We’re in Gangnam.”  
  
Bobby’s face lit up in a smile as well. “Ah that’s not far! Honestly, I’d have gone across the city for you anyway.”  
  
Hanbin could feel the blush spreading across his cheeks. He thought it was a bit stupid to be caught up so early, but at least Bobby seemed to be just as caught up as he was. Maybe it’ll be okay after all? “So, we’ll go on an actual date some time, then?” Hanbin asked him, just to be extra sure.  
  
“Of course we will!” Bobby replied enthusiastically. “I mean, as long as you want to.”  
  
Hanbin couldn’t help but laugh at the both of them, because they were both being stupidly awkward. “Yeah, I definitely want to.”  
  
“Good, me too!” Bobby’s face turned a little red as well, because there it was, completely laid out between them, both of their emotions on display. Bobby had never exposed himself so completely to anyone before. “Junhoe won’t have a problem with us dating, will he?”  
  
Hanbin laughed at the question. Junhoe would have a problem regardless of who it was Hanbin ended up dating, he knew that already. “Eh, what he doesn’t know won’t hurt him!” Hanbin replied with a wink.  
  
Bobby laughed at the answer. “Well, I’d say good luck, but I kind of want Jinhwan to win.”  
  
Hanbin grinned at Bobby’s comment. “Come on, Junhoe already has one loss, Jinhwan needs one too so they can build up their rivalry for another tournament!”  
  
Bobby laughed at him. “I’ll tell him that, see how he likes the idea! I can’t promise anything, though.” They both looked at each other for a moment, fond expressions on their faces. Bobby was the first to speak. “Alright, we should head back out. I’ll talk to you later, Hanbin-ah.”  
  
“Bye, Bobby oppa!” Hanbin couldn’t help himself, and he knew it was worth it the second Bobby’s face lit up in a happy smile. Alright then.  _Oppa_  it would be.  
  
Bobby left first, and Hanbin stayed behind, waiting for a moment before leaving. He didn’t expect to be joined.  
  
“Did you just call that guy  _oppa?_  I didn’t know you had a new boyfriend.”  
  
Hanbin looked up from the floor, eyes falling on an all too familiar face.  
  
“Noona! You’re here already?” It was Yejin, Junhoe’s sister! Yejin’s expression was comical, and Hanbin wondered if he looked as terrified as he felt.  
  
“Yeah, believe it or not, mom decided an hour ago that she and I would get lunch somewhere close. Wanted to be ready when my dork of a brother won his semi-final.” Yejin replied, crossing her arms over her chest. “But enough about that! Who’s the guy? And don’t say  _no one_ , okay, I can see the hearts in your eyes.”  
  
_Fuck_. “Uh, just a guy I just met,” Hanbin replied honestly.  
  
“He’s got a nice body, face could use some work though.” Yejin teased him.  
  
“He’s got his good angles!” Hanbin said defensively, and she laughed at him.  
  
“Ah it’s no big deal! You’ll always be the pretty one in your relationship.” Yejin winked at him and was about to walk away before Hanbin stopped her.  
  
“Listen, can you, uh, not say anything about him?”  
  
“Don’t tell me Junhoe doesn’t know?” Yejin looked at him incredulously. “Hanbin! You come to support my brother and instead spend your time flirting!”  
  
“That’s not it!” Hanbin whined, wishing he didn’t have to explain. Yejin was good at keeping secrets, at least. “He’s best friends with the guy Junhoe’s fighting in the final.”  
  
Yejin’s mouth dropped open in shock momentarily before she grinned at him. “Kim Hanbin! I can’t believe you!” She playfully punched his arm. “As much as I enjoy drama, I’ll keep your secret safe. I don’t want my brother going to jail for murdering his best friend.”  
  
Hanbin grinned back at her, grateful she wasn’t upset with him, and that she was willing to keep his secret.  
  
He really needed Junhoe to win.  


* * *

  
An hour later the gym floor was set for hosting the final in the purple belt division. Junhoe’s coach was giving him last minute tactics revisions, while Jinhwan was stretching. Hanbin was sitting with Junhoe’s mother and sister (his father wasn’t able to make it, so they’d sent him pictures instead) but he was surprised to see that no one had joined Bobby to cheer on Jinhwan.  
  
He wondered if Bobby would come to his next boxing competition? What would he do if he hadn’t told Junhoe about him yet? How was he going to handle telling his parents, but keeping it from Junhoe? It had potential disaster written all over it.  
  
The simplicity of his looming love life depended on Junhoe winning. He’d date Bobby regardless, but if he could avoid having to deal with a moody and grumbling Junhoe, he’d be much happier.  
  
Speaking of Bobby, Hanbin locked eyes with him and couldn’t stop from smiling when Bobby winked at him. His smile vanished when Yejin pinched him and leaned in to whisper in his ear.  
  
“Okay, he’s got a cute smile, I’ll give him that!”  
  
Hanbin shook his head, and a few seconds later his phone lit up with a new message.  
  
_-ur so cute when u smile :)-_  
  
Hanbin was torn between groaning at the cheesiness of Bobby’s message and revelling in the cuteness of it. His past relationship had been  _nothing_  like this, and he wasn’t even dating Bobby yet! How much worse would things get when they made it official? He looked back at Bobby, who was watching him with a fond expression. Oh, this was dangerous, openly flirting right in front of Junhoe, but Hanbin was still happy for it.  
  
But there, in the middle of the mats, completely oblivious to the flirtation of their best friends, stood Junhoe and Jinhwan, the official in front of them. Match time had come and they stood face to face, ready for the fight.  
  
“Fancy meeting you again!” Jinhwan greeted, friendly smile in place.  
  
“Same. Don’t think the result is going to match though.” Junhoe replied as they shook hands.  
  
“Agreed,” Jinhwan said as they went into their bow, his voice pleasant and sweet as honey, “I plan on making you submit this time.”  
  
Junhoe couldn’t believe his gall! “Yeah well, FYI—I never submit.”  
  
They stood up straight and faced each other, and Jinhwan’s expression made Junhoe think of a parent who was watching their kid do something cute but stupid. It was beyond patronizing.   
  
“Famous last words. I promise I’ll be gentle for your  _first time_.”  
  
It was honestly a skill, Junhoe thought, how cutting and mean Jinhwan could be with his words, all while retaining such a sweet expression on his face. It just made him hate the guy that much more.  
  
“Whatever, midget. Prepare to get your ass kicked.”  
  
Whatever reply Jinhwan was about to give was cut off by the referee clearing his throat.  
  
“That’s enough, gentlemen. Adopt your stances and let’s begin.”  
  
Junhoe took a deep breath and brought focus back to his thoughts. He’d almost allowed Jinhwan to throw him off his game plan with the pre-match trash talk.  _Terrible_. Whatever. He was going to wipe the smirk off of that cute face anyway. He had plans to pin him and shove his elbow right into that stupid little heart mole.  
  
Jinhwan, on the other hand, was every bit as calm and collected as he’d been all afternoon. He knew this kid after fighting him the day before (and watching his other matches). There was nothing in Junhoe’s arsenal that worried Jinhwan. Sure, he was bigger, stronger, but Jinhwan had him beat in terms of speed and accuracy and overall athletic ability. So far Junhoe had bulldozed his way through his matches, but Jinhwan had proven yesterday that he couldn’t be beat that way. He had yet to see Junhoe attempt any other style of fighting.  
  
He took a deep breath and held it in until the official gave them the go ahead, at which point he advanced to meet Junhoe, both of them moving in to try and get inside each other’s guards. Jinhwan’s plan was to go for a leg sweep, dropping Junhoe from the start, but he was instead surprised with Junhoe’s opening move.  
  
With a strong hold on Jinhwan’s arms, Junhoe dropped to his knees and flipped Jinhwan over his shoulder, landing him back first on the mat, and unlike their fight from the day before Junhoe did not let himself pause for a second when Jinhwan landed, instead locking his right arm up into a deep armbar, laying back and locking his feet at the ankles over Jinhwan’s right shoulder.  
  
Jinhwan’s shoulder was burning at the tight hold, and the first thing he did was try to scramble out from underneath Junhoe, but the armbar was locked in too tightly and Junhoe was too heavy for Jinhwan to easily lift. Instead he grabbed Junhoe’s foot, using it as leverage, pushing it up in an attempt to get some of Junhoe’s weight off of his chest.  
  
It was just enough for Jinhwan to finally push himself up into a sitting position, using his momentum to keep rolling forward onto his knees, taking Junhoe with him. Junhoe still had his arm caught up, but the angle wasn’t as painful anymore, and Jinhwan carefully got to his feet, aware that Junhoe could try and roll him again and Jinhwan would probably end up going with him unless that arm bar let up.  
  
Junhoe was feeling excellent at the moment, pleased with himself for getting the first points of the match. He didn’t expect Jinhwan to tap out right away, not after their match yesterday, but he was surprised at the way Jinhwan was squirming his way to his feet. Junhoe was used to fighting guys closer to his size, so Jinhwan’s smaller stature was giving him a bit of an edge at the moment as Junhoe found that he was locking his legs a bit too far down, and Jinhwan was able to slip out of his hold.  
  
He grudgingly moved his left foot and released his hold on his ankle, trying to gain a better position over Jinhwan’s shoulder as he got to his feet. It actually ended up working out in Junhoe’s favour, because as Jinhwan struggled to remain upright he was dragged forward by Junhoe’s heavier weight, and Junhoe seized the perfect opportunity to pull Jinhwan’s arm in further and lock his ankles behind Jinhwan’s neck in a triangle hold.  
  
To Junhoe’s surprise, Jinhwan was actually strong enough to lift him off the floor, and when he lost the mat as a counterbalance his lock around Jinhwan’s neck slipped. Jinhwan had a hand on Junhoe’s knee and shoved his leg away at the same time as he dropped Junhoe’s weight back to the floor, and the sudden move had Junhoe losing his tight hold on Jinhwan’s right arm.  
  
He put a foot against Jinhwan’s shoulder, trying to use his long legs in an attempt to get Jinhwan’s arm back in a locked position. But Jinhwan dropped into a crouch instead, getting closer to Junhoe on the mat so he could pull his arm back in closer to his body. He then dove across Junhoe’s legs in an attempt to pass his guard and regain control, but Junhoe used his legs to roll out, keeping Jinhwan from gaining the advantage.  
  
They both scrambled back to their feet, but it wasn’t long before they were diving at each other again. Unlike the first match, this fight was closer. Junhoe fought with a different strategy, more intelligently as opposed to just aggressively. Jinhwan was still the overall aggressor, but Junhoe was able to block his attempts, trying to use Jinhwan’s moves against him.  
  
It worked on a few occasions, and resulted in Junhoe gaining side guard twice, and even getting a mount position. Jinhwan seemed to be concentrating more on trying to get Junhoe’s back, which was resulting in fewer successful mounts. Where Jinhwan had beaten Junhoe readily on points in their first match, things were tighter this time around, and as the clock ticked closer to the end of the match Junhoe switched his tactics and moved in aggressively, trying to get past Jinhwan’s guard (who was currently lying on the floor beneath Junhoe), only for Jinhwan to block his mount with both knees. Junhoe was determined to power his way inside, though, wanting another three points to solidify his lead as they were coming up on what had to be the last minute.  
  
But as Junhoe lunged forward, Jinhwan grabbed both sleeves of his gi, wrapping his fingers in them tightly to try and gain control of Junhoe’s arms, while he took the risk of bringing his knees up into his chest before digging both heels against Junhoe’s biceps, using the leverage to wiggle himself back a bit.  
  
Junhoe felt like screaming—was Jinhwan trying to get a spider guard on him?! That wouldn’t end well for Jinhwan! Junhoe immediately pulled back against him, trying to get to his feet in order to pull off a stack pass, but again he was surprised at Jinhwan’s tenacity. Junhoe managed to get his right foot under him, but when he tried to get to his left foot, Jinhwan dropped his right leg down and jammed his knee into the back of Junhoe’s knee, collapsing his leg down. Junhoe tried again and Jinhwan denied him a second time.  
  
Junhoe took a second to breathe and think, because the clock was still on his side.  
  
Jinhwan did not, and the second Junhoe’s head dropped down and exposed his neck, Jinhwan drove his heel into Junhoe’s left bicep again, while simultaneously digging his left heel into Junhoe’s hip to control his forward movement. He dropped Junhoe’s left sleeve and instead sat up, grabbing a tight hold on the collar of Junhoe’s gi, pulling him forward and bringing his right arm inside his chest while popping his right leg up and behind Junhoe’s neck.  
  
Before Junhoe could fight it, Jinhwan’s left leg was back up and hooking over his right ankle, locking the triangle choke in place. Jinhwan dropped his hold on Junhoe’s gi and reached forward, curling his own body up and grabbing the back of Junhoe’s head, forcing the full weight of the choke to compress around Junhoe’s neck.  
  
Junhoe was stuck. Jinhwan’s lock around his neck was tight, leaving him no room to wiggle his arm out of it. He tried to get a grip on the back on Jinhwan’s gi, tried to get himself some kind of leverage, but suddenly his limbs felt heavy, leaden and tingly, and the next thing he knew he opened his eyes to see the face of the official looming over him.  
  
What had just happened? Shouldn’t he still be in the triangle choke with Jinhwan? Unless…  
  
Junhoe sat up and looked around, eyes falling suddenly on the beaming face of Jinhwan, posing for a picture and looking victorious.  
  
For the first time in his competitive career, Junhoe had been choked out.  
  
The stinging burn of rage and humiliation settled uncomfortably in his gut, made worse by the fact that he still felt heavy-limbed, still had pinpricks dancing up and down his arms. He wanted to get up and stalk away in anger, but he couldn’t actually get to his feet on his own. His coach approached him then, giving him a hand and saying something, but Junhoe wasn’t really paying attention.  
  
He wanted to get the hell out of here and go home to nurse his wounded pride, but etiquette dictated that he still had to congratulate Jinhwan on his victory (and of course they had the medal and trophy presentation—not that Junhoe wanted his this time).  
  
Seeing Junhoe on his feet, Jinhwan approached his opponent, friendly smile in place again. He stopped a distance away to bow, and Junhoe, who was feeling a bit better on his feet, pushed his coach’s arm away to stand on his own. He bowed back (only a half bow, because he could get away with that) and straightened up as Jinhwan approached him.  
  
“Good fight,” Jinhwan said, and there was not a shred of malice in his eyes (which kind of made Junhoe that much angrier, because if Jinhwan presented only a polite and grateful face in victory that would make Junhoe an even bigger asshole for wanting to reach out and wring his neck), but then he leaned in to speak in a hushed voice close to Junhoe’s ear, “it wasn’t the submission I was hoping for, but it still felt really good.”  
  
Jinhwan was  _lucky_  that Junhoe was still heavy-limbed. All he could do was stare back with fire in his eyes and fantasize about ripping Jinhwan limb from limb.  
  
Jinhwan gave him an extra friendly squinty smile before bowing again and turning away. Junhoe finally let himself be guided back to the bench by his coach. He sat down heavily, hearing voices in his ear but ignoring them. He couldn’t believe Jinhwan had choked him out! The little midget cockroach had  _choked him out!_  
  
“Dude, do I have to suck your dick to get your attention?”  
  
Junhoe’s angry inner monologue was interrupted by Hanbin’s abrupt question and he fixed his best friend with an annoyed sneer. “The fuck, Hanbin?!”  
  
Hanbin grinned back at him, but looked sheepishly at Junhoe’s family and coach. “Uh, just making sure his hearing wasn’t damaged!”  
  
“Sit down, idiot!” Junhoe glared at him, though he half wanted to laugh because he could just imagine the looks on the faces of the other three. Hanbin was very good at distracting from unpleasant situations.  
  
Junhoe sat still while his coach looked him over, purposefully not listening to what he was saying. It was something about how Junhoe had been up on points, and yeah,  _he knew_. Once again Junhoe hadn’t lost to Jinhwan—he’d lost to himself. Jinhwan had managed to get the hold only because Junhoe had dropped his head and shown his neck. That had been his mistake.  
  
Under normal circumstances, Junhoe would be unhappy about the loss but still thrilled with having made it to the final and fighting well. But he’d never developed such an intense dislike of an opponent before, and he wasn’t comfortable with the idea of losing to Jinhwan twice in one weekend. It felt unsettling.  
  
He didn’t think Jinhwan was a better fighter than he was (though he’d never fought someone who employed the spider guard so effectively) but he’d have to watch the fight again to see. Just to make sure that Jinhwan hadn’t simply been going easy on him in anticipation of trying to secure a hold, chasing after a submission the way he’d threatened to.  
  
And maybe, if he was bored at some point, maybe he’d look Jinhwan up and find out where he trained. Find out if he’d be seeing him again anytime soon. Junhoe couldn’t let this defeat go.  
  
He’d get his revenge.  


* * *

  
Jinhwan settled comfortably back in bed, stretching his arms up over his head and yawning. He always slept well after tournaments (especially when he fought well) and tonight looked to be no exception. He was pleased with the outcome, though he was a little disappointed in the match itself. He was definitely going to have to watch it over again to see how he’d allowed Junhoe a better run this time. Junhoe had been up on him by three points when Jinhwan had gotten the triangle hold on him. Jinhwan didn’t like that at all.  
  
He’d brought his trophy back to Bobby’s with him so his “surrogate parents” could celebrate his victory. Mrs. Kim had made him his favourite meal, and Mr. Kim had taken a picture he could use in order to create a painting from the moment (he’d already painted Jinhwan twice, but Jinhwan still felt special being asked again). Even Jiun had captured Jinhwan up in a tight hug when he’d gotten home from work, overjoyed at the victory and teasing Bobby over being the less accomplished of the two.  
  
As he’d promised Bobby, Jinhwan had taken a picture and sent it to his mother to let her know about his victory, but he’d sent it nearly six hours ago (and had conveniently left his phone in his room while they celebrated so he wouldn’t keep checking for his mother’s reply).  
  
But it was midnight and he was alone in the room now, trophy and medal on the table beside his bed, and with nervous fingers he unlocked his phone and checked his messages. There were a few new ones, but he didn’t read those right away.  
  
Instead he opened the conversation between he and his mother, looking down at the picture he’d sent her (at 6:09), his own smiling face peeking out behind the trophy. According to the conversation notifications she’d opened the picture—  
  
_message read @ 6:12_  
  
But, as usual...  
  
No reply.


	4. Split Tone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hanbin struggles to hide the truth about his upcoming date from Junhoe, while Jinhwan connects with his mom over their mutual love of music before helping Bobby remember how to flirt properly.

“So what time do you wanna go see a movie on Friday? I have to go do some stupid family thing right after class, so I was thinking maybe we do like a nine o’clock? Get some food before?” Junhoe sank down next to Hanbin in their usual spot in the cafeteria, eager to dig into his lunch. He’d skipped breakfast again and he’d been certain that his stomach had been plotting to start eating its own lining during math.  
  
Hanbin had been dreading this moment ever since he’d agreed to the date last night. He usually spent his Friday nights with Junhoe, but Bobby was busy the rest of the weekend and Hanbin really didn’t want to wait any longer.  
  
“Bro, new tradition this weekend! Let’s do a Saturday movie instead!” Hanbin replied, wondering how much detail Junhoe was going to demand and how much he could skip.  
  
Junhoe’s eyes narrowed immediately at Hanbin’s reply. “What’s going on Friday?”  
  
Hanbin took a deep breath before answering. “I have plans.” Best to start with as little as possible and work his way up.  
  
Junhoe looked annoyed at the answer. “Yeah, and they’re with me, asshole.”  
  
“I have a date.” Maybe a sudden info drop would frazzle him enough into not demanding details?  
  
“Fuck you mean you _have a date_?” Junhoe asked, and he sounded every bit as offended as he looked.  
  
“Someone asked me out and I said yes.” Hanbin said, dreading having to give any further info. Why didn’t he come up with a fabricated story? Why? He’d had all day.  
  
“Who the hell would ask you out?” Junhoe asked.  
  
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Hanbin snapped back, playing into the offended game, hoping that maybe it could get him out of explaining himself.  
  
“Sorry, that came out wrong,” Junhoe replied, “I just mean, why haven’t I heard about this guy until now?” Hanbin shrugged, and Junhoe pouted. “Unless it’s your neighbour?”  
  
_Fuck_. Why hadn’t Hanbin thought of that?? It was too late to use him now, though. “Nope, not the neighbour. You, uh, don’t know this guy.” _That was kind of a lie, well not really, because Junhoe didn’t_ know _him, but he would certainly recognize him..._  
  
“At all?” Junhoe frowned, turning in his seat to look at Hanbin.  
  
“Nope.” Hanbin met his eyes briefly before turning his attention to his lunch.  
  
“What’s his name? Where did you meet him?”  
  
“God, Junhoe, I didn’t think you’d want to play twenty questions!” Hanbin shot back, shovelling rice into his mouth.  
  
Junhoe wasn’t falling for it though. “Don’t give me that bullshit, you _always_ tell me about dudes you’re into. Who is this guy?”  
  
“Fuck, give a guy a chance to eat first, _mom_.” Hanbin took a sip of his Pepsi, scrambling to come up with a story in his head. He could just tell the truth? Or at least partial? After all, it’s not like Junhoe would recognize the name.  
  
“You’re acting super suspicious, Bin! I’m not gonna like this guy, am I?” Junhoe finally picked up his chopsticks, his stomach protesting at not being fed yet.  
  
“Honestly, you’d probably like him,” Hanbin answered, and was about to say more but instead opted for another mouthful of food.  
  
“But?” Junhoe prompted, because he knew how Hanbin’s brain worked.  
  
_But what_? Bunny teeth.  
  
“But, you’ll probably say he’s not good looking enough for me.” Hanbin answered, and he had to pat himself on the back because it was _true_. Junhoe was vain. Hanbin was not, but then when you had a face like Junhoe’s it wasn’t really surprising. You could afford to be picky.  
  
“Bro, come on! How many times do we have to go over this? You’re nowhere near as ugly as you keep saying you are. You’re actually really _cute_ , if you want my honest opinion. You’re not gonna date an ugly guy. Not on my watch.” Junhoe shook his head and felt like slapping some sense into Hanbin. He knew that Hanbin didn’t really think he was ugly, but he made enough self deprecating jokes about having a monkey face that it got on Junhoe’s nerves. He’d actually probably date Hanbin if he was a stranger, and Junhoe didn’t think about dating ugly people.  
  
“Okay he’s not like, super ugly,” Hanbin actually thought he was pretty hot, at least at certain angles, “but he’s got a charm about him--”  
  
“ _A_ charm?!” Junhoe interrupted. “Fuck, Hanbin! Love yourself, bro.”  
  
Hanbin elbowed Junhoe. “Shut up!” Okay, this was actually going all right, maybe he’d just play up on the whole _low standards_ thing that Junhoe always accused him of. Keep the topic off of _who_ to save him from giving an answer.  
  
“Seriously, I think I should meet this guy. I need to give him my approval before I let him take my Friday night plans away from me.”  
  
“Absolutely not!” Hanbin replied, because there was no way Hanbin could get away with meeting Bobby in peace if Junhoe knew who he was.  
  
“Come on, he doesn’t even have to know? Where are you meeting? We can go there together and hide, and you point him out when he gets there. I’ll wander up for a closer look, and then if I disapprove, we’re gonna go see a movie instead. If I approve, and that’s unlikely if _you_ think I’m going to think he’s ugly, but on the off chance that I approve, then you can come out of your hiding spot and go meet him.”  
  
Hanbin shook his head, half in amusement and half in disdain. Junhoe wasn’t even joking--he’d really do the whole thing if Hanbin agreed to it. “No! Honestly, it’s a first date, Junhoe, I might not even like him. If that’s the case I’ll text you and if you’re alone, which you probably will be because you’re annoying as fuck and I’m the only person who likes you, then I’ll skip out early and we’ll go see a movie.”  
  
Junhoe huffed again, shovelling in another mouthful of food. Why was Hanbin being so difficult? It felt weird. Hanbin never kept information from him (even on those rare occasions when Junhoe wished he would) so the fact that Hanbin wasn’t telling him details about this guy painted the whole thing in a really suspicious light.  
  
“Okay let’s rewind, you didn’t even answer my question. What’s his name, and where did you meet him?” When Hanbin took a little too long to answer Junhoe called him on it. “You’d better tell me the truth, asshole! Don’t try and lie to me, you know you’re terrible at it.”  
  
Oh God, what could he say? How could he phrase this in a way that would explain his unwillingness to tell him anything in the first place?  
  
“Okay, well, his name is Bobby--”  
  
“Is he American?” Junhoe interrupted, surprised at the possibility. Hanbin’s English was far superior to Junhoe’s own (mostly because he’d spent four years in the US as a kid, so his pronunciation was annoyingly perfect even if his vocabulary had taken a hit recently) but was it good enough to date some dude from abroad?  
  
“No, he just lived in the US for a few years, and kind of adopted his American name. He’s Korean.” _Okay, so far so good._  
  
Junhoe nodded, taking a mouthful of kimchi fried rice. When Hanbin didn’t say anything else Junhoe prompted him even with his mouth full. “Go on!”  
  
“We met on the weekend,” Hanbin began, carefully leaving certain information out, “we met at the tournament.”  
  
Junhoe looked every bit as scandalized as Hanbin had expected.  
  
“I can’t believe you! This is why we have trust issues, asshole. You were there _for me_ , what are you doing chatting some random dude up?” Okay, Junhoe knew _full well_ that maybe he was being a little ridiculous with his response to the situation, but still! It’s not like he was off the mark. Hanbin went to Junhoe’s tournaments to support him. Not to look for a boyfriend.  
  
“See this is why I didn’t want to tell you!” Hanbin whined, playing up his reaction. “It’s not like I went there specifically to scope guys out--”  
  
“Bullshit! You whined about how there was no eye candy on the first day--”  
  
“Well yeah but that’s _eye_ candy! You don’t converse with eye candy, you just look at it.”  
  
Junhoe shook his head in disgust. “God, and you call _me_ vain!”  
  
“You are!” Hanbin retorted, downing a bite of pork. “Anyway, I met this guy when I was buying drinks--”  
  
“I knew it!” Junhoe interrupted again, “I remember you took a while to get back and I asked you and you said that there was just a huge line and only one person working.”  
  
_Fuck_. “Well, that was true! And while we--”  
  
“It’s a lie! You actually told me you were delayed because some old person was trying to pay with a ton of change. Holy fuck, Hanbin, you lied to me twice!” Junhoe dropped his chopsticks down onto his plate, appetite forgotten momentarily. Why was Hanbin lying to him?  
  
Hanbin could feel his cheeks getting red and he quickly took a drink, swallowing it slowly and trying to stay calm in the face of Junhoe’s impending lecture. _Any second now…_  
  
“This is exactly why you shouldn’t bother lying to me!”  
  
_Here we go._  
  
“You’re a shit liar, you can never keep your story straight. God, you’d make the _worst_ accomplice in a crime. I’d have to kill you afterwards in order to keep myself out of jail.”  
  
Despite the lecture, Hanbin couldn’t help but grin. Junhoe was hilarious when he got upset. Maybe it was a dick move to lie to him about things, and maybe it was even worse for him to laugh when Junhoe called him on it, but he couldn’t help himself. Junhoe was honestly the most dramatic person Hanbin had ever known in his entire life and he _loved_ it.

Junhoe paused in his rant, critical eyes on his best friend. Hanbin didn’t even look remorseful, Junhoe could see his eye smile already!  
  
“I can’t believe my best friend is that selfish.”  
  
“Oh come on!” Hanbin couldn’t help but laugh. “It wasn’t that bad!”  
  
“Not that bad?! You sacrificed my hydration for a potential hookup!” Junhoe whined, picking his chopsticks up again.  
  
Hanbin laughed even harder at that and felt tears at the corners of his eyes.  
  
“Not to mention--” Junhoe started in again, “he’s not even hot? I think that’s the worst of it? I mean okay, fine, you’ve been single for a while and I get it, but if you’re going to compromise my health at least make sure it’s for a hot guy?!”  
  
Hanbin nearly snorted Pepsi out of his nose and seconds later was caught in a coughing fit so bad that Junhoe reluctantly slapped him on the back a few times to help clear his airway.  
  
“There’s your karma for lying to me, at least.” Junhoe remarked as Hanbin continued coughing into his fist.  
  
_Whatever._ Hanbin would take it, so long as Junhoe didn’t ask for any further details.

* * *

  
Jinhwan had been going at it for over an hour already, taking advantage of the empty house to get in some practice for his upcoming examination. Even though Bobby’s parents never complained about the noise from his practice sessions (in fact they were the opposite, and encouraged him to play for them whenever possible) he still felt a little invasive about it.  
  
He laid down on his bed to give his lips a rest, placing his trumpet down beside him, and reached for his phone. He read a few articles (celebrity gossip, a guilty pleasure) and was about to pick the trumpet back up when he got a message. He didn’t pay attention to who it was from and opened it, but the tone of the message made the sender so obvious that he didn’t even need to look at the name.  
  
_Heard about your results on the weekend—congrats! As always, I’m very proud of you._  
  
He stared at the message for longer than he should have, torn between deleting it without saying anything and making a phone call. In the end he opted for a one-word response.  
  
_Thx._  
  
Was it going to be the same after every competition this year? Forced into some attempted conversation by way of compliments? Jinhwan hated how much the words meant to him, how they had him switching back and forth between elation and rage, longing and detachment.  
  
They were supposed to be _over,_ so why was he still so stupidly caught up?  
  
Whatever. It wasn’t worth obsessing over.  
  
He stood and picked his trumpet back up, not wanting to waste his last hour of alone time. He needed to put in a lot of practice before his exam to make up for the time he’d lost over the weekend. He was planning on playing the first movement of Haydn’s trumpet concerto, and had been practicing it for over two months.  
  
While he wanted to do the exam for his own reasons, he was also doing it to appease his mother. She desperately wanted him to place well and secure entrance into the music program at the National Arts University. He wanted it too, but…  
  
Until two years ago he hadn’t really thought that there could be any option for him other than following his family’s plans, but then everything had changed. He’d gotten a new jiu-jitsu coach, a young guy who’d spent a few years studying in California with the legendary Gracie family, and his stories were everything to Jinhwan, they were whispers of a future he could probably have if he worked hard.  
  
Just like that, his childhood dream of being named principal trumpeter with the Seoul Orchestra had been replaced with something that was both more exciting and a little simpler: opening his own jiu-jitsu studio. He’d still compete, of course, maybe internationally, representing Korea? But even if his dreams didn’t get that far, having his own studio and competing was enough. Training others in the sport that he lived for was enough to send him to sleep with a smile on his face most nights.  
  
Or at least it had been. Still was, when he didn’t let his thoughts wander down certain paths. He looked back at his phone (he didn’t mean to, but his subconscious had gotten the better of him) and the red light had his stomach in knots.  
  
He laid his trumpet back down and picked up his phone (maybe it was just a message from a friend?) because he wouldn’t be able to concentrate on his music with the uncertainty looming over him.  
  
It was exactly what he’d been worried about, though, the same question he kept dodging and hedging and not answering.  
  
_You have a chance to look over that application yet? I know California’s a long way away, but you should really think about this, Jinhwan. I think you’d learn a lot, probably get your black belt in a year if you really studied hard! I don’t want you to waste your talent. Just think about it, okay? I’m always here for questions._  
  
Always here for questions.  
  
Where the fuck were the answers, though?  
  
He tossed the phone down and picked his trumpet back up, intent on putting it out of his head now that he’d read the message. Regardless of what he decided to do at the end of the year, he was still going to sit his music exam anyway.  
  
But ten minutes into practice and the melody was sounding flat.  
  
_Fuck him!_  
  
Jinhwan picked his phone back up, but instead of dialing the number he wanted to dial (whether to scream curses or talk about California, he wasn’t entirely sure) he called his mom. She picked up right away.  
  
“Hello sweetheart! To what do I owe this call?”  
  
Jinhwan smiled when he heard her voice. His relationship with his mother was an odd thing, and it didn’t help his situation at all. She flat-out refused to support his jiu-jitsu (to the extent of ignoring it entirely), but she was his biggest fan when it came to his music.  
  
“Just practicing for my exam,” he answered, “wondering if you had a few minutes to take a listen?”  
  
“Of course I do, baby! Facetime me so I can see you, it’s been too long since I’ve seen your handsome face.”  
  
Jinhwan groaned into the phone, but it still made him smile. He rang her on the video app, grinning and waving when her face popped up in his screen.  
  
“Hey mom!” Despite the continued disappoint over her treatment of his fighting, he missed her ever since he’d left home. He didn’t miss the arguments about his future, though.  
  
“Ah there you are! You look good. Bobby’s family is feeding you well, I see!”  
  
Jinhwan smiled and nodded. “Yeah, they’re still out at work right now, Bobby has basketball practice so I’m home alone.”  
  
“Ah, a good time for practice. Well then let’s hear it!”  
  
Jinhwan set his phone up on his desk, adjusting it so he was visible to her. Even when he was upset, playing for his mom had a way of ensuring he focused entirely on the music, shoving everything else out of his head. It wasn’t fear of a poor performance that drove him to play well for her, but his entire love of music came from his mother. She was a principal violinist for the Jeju orchestra, and had been for as long as he could remember. He played well because it was the strongest bond that connected them, and he wanted it to continue flourishing.  
  
He took a deep breath and started to play out of memory, the movements coming to him second nature. He got through three minutes of it before making a huge error—flubbing a note so terribly that he had to stop and laugh.  
  
He was met by the ringing laughter of his mother over the phone, and he looked at her with a cutely apologetic expression.  
  
“Ah, sweetheart! Was that your attempt at an ad lib?” She teased him, and Jinhwan grinned at her.  
  
“It was a failed attempt, clearly!” That made her laugh too, and Jinhwan was grateful that she understood when to offer her actual critique, and when to laugh. He knew what he’d done wrong and he knew how to fix it, and she knew that he had it under control. But even the best musicians still made errors from time to time. It was an important part of human life.  
  
“Well, I thought it was perfect up until then!” She continued. “Your playing is so gorgeous, sweetheart. Every time I watch you, I’m astounded at how well you play.” She paused for a moment to let it sink in, and he just smiled back at her. “I’m so proud of you, Jinhwan-ie.”  
  
It felt so nice to hear those words from her.  
  
“Thanks, mom!”  
  
“Did your sister give you details on her performance in two weeks? You’ll be going to see her, won’t you?”

“Of course! I’m excited, Bobby’s dad is going to pick her up at the airport when she gets in, and we’ll have dinner with her on her first night.” Jinhwan’s sister, Seiyeon, was a flutist with the Jeju orchestra, and she was appearing in Seoul for a special show in two weeks time. Despite the six year age gap Jinhwan was very close with his sister. He saw her slightly more often than his mother, but he still missed her just as much.  
  
“Oh good! I’m sorry I can’t come up as well what with our recordings going on.”  
  
“I know, it’s okay. It’ll be nice for us to spend some time together anyway.” Jinhwan had been thinking about asking Seiyeon for her opinion on the possibility of California, desperate to discuss it with someone in his family. Not that Seiyeon was a big fan of his jiu-jitsu, but she didn’t flat out oppose it the way his mother did. Maybe she’d even support his idea if he presented it to her properly?  
  
Probably not, but it was a nice fantasy.  
  
“Hey, Mrs. Kim!”  
  
Jinhwan pivoted in just enough time to catch Bobby as he launched himself into the video frame, waving excitedly at Jinhwan’s mother.  
  
“Hello, Bobby! What a pleasant surprise!”  
  
Jinhwan slung his arm around Bobby’s waist. “I thought you had basketball for another hour?”  
  
“Got cut short, and it’s a good thing, too! Why don’t you ever call your mom when I’m around?” Bobby scolded him teasingly.  
  
“She’s _my_ mom, Bobby! Maybe I want her to myself!”  
  
“He’s so mean, isn’t he? I’m really trying to make him nicer, I swear!” Bobby joked, and it earned him an elbow to the stomach.  
  
Jinhwan shoved Bobby back onto his bed before looking back into the phone at his mom. “I guess I should go, but thanks for listening to my piece! Next time I’ll watch my breathing at that spot.”  
  
His mom smiled back at him. “Of course you will, I look forward to hearing the entire thing next time, okay?” He nodded and promised he’d call her soon, and Bobby popped back up as Jinhwan was saying his goodbyes, waving to Jinhwan’s mom. Jinhwan plugged his phone in when the call ended, bracing himself for the question he knew was coming.  
  
“Did she say anything about--”  
  
“No, of course not.”  
  
“Did you ask her--”  
  
“No! Bobby, we’ve been over this, and I really wish you’d respect my feelings on the subject. I made peace with the fact that mom doesn’t care about my fighting, okay? I won’t keep hassling her about it.” Jinhwan hated having this conversation with Bobby over and over again. He knew Bobby meant well, but Jinhwan was growing increasingly tired of hearing it.  
  
“But it’s important to _you,_ so it should be important to her too.” Bobby laid down on Jinhwan’s bed, stretching out completely. Jinhwan turned to fix him with an irritated glare.  
  
“Why are you so pushy about this? Why can’t you just drop it like I ask you to? Honestly, you’re stressing me out.” Jinhwan grabbed his trumpet and began packing it away. Maybe he’d take it back out when Bobby’s parents got home and play a little for them.  
  
Jinhwan didn’t mean to get pouty, but it was annoying, the constant lecturing about how important family support was. In his opinion, Bobby was lecturing the wrong person.  
  
“Sorry,” Bobby said, half serious and half sarcastic, “I just want your mom to support you.”  
  
“Why didn’t _you_ say something to her, then? Take the pressure off of me.” Jinhwan sulkily replied.  
  
“Maybe I will!” Bobby replied with a grin. “Next time you get her on Facetime let me know and I’ll give you some family counseling.”  
  
Jinhwan rolled his eyes and shook his head, but he knew the lecture was over for now. He climbed onto his bed next to Bobby, slumping against him until his head was resting on Bobby’s chest.  
  
“How’d basketball go, anyway? At least before it got cut short?”  
  
“Good!” Bobby’s response was enthusiastic. “I dummied Chanu on some free throws today, it was great!”  
  
“What a badass, picking on junior players!” Jinhwan teased, reaching out to tickle Bobby, who squirmed out of the way.  
  
“Hey man, they gotta learn!”  
  
“Doesn’t Chanwoo usually school you on free throws? How do you know he wasn’t just letting you win?” Jinhwan couldn’t help but tease him over this, and he laughed when Bobby scowled at him.  
  
“He wouldn’t do that, he’s got too much pride to fake lose, especially to me!” Despite the three year age difference, Bobby had taken Chanwoo under his wing, treating him like a real younger brother. Jinhwan thought it was cute. It didn’t help that Chanwoo had grown three inches over the year—he’d been shorter than Bobby when the year had started, and he’d just recently surpassed him in height. Bobby didn’t like talking about that, though.  
  
“So, have you decided what you’re gonna wear on your date on Friday?” Jinhwan asked, rolling onto his stomach in order to look up at Bobby.  
  
“Ah, I don’t know, I don’t need anything special, right? We’re just going to see a movie.” Bobby wasn’t really the sort who planned for things like this. But then again, he _did_ really like Hanbin, so should he put in more effort than usual? Would Hanbin?  
  
“You need to look good! It’s supposed to be warm on Friday, so wear a tank top under a jacket so you can show off your arms. You were wearing a hoodie on the weekend, he doesn’t know you have muscular arms, does he? Unless you’ve sent him shirtless selfies?” Jinhwan squeezed one of Bobby’s arms, grinning when he made Bobby blush.  
  
“No, I haven’t sent him any selfies!” Bobby thought Jinhwan was onto something with the tank top idea. Hanbin was an athlete, so he probably liked guys with nice bodies. _Probably…_  
  
“Good, wear your tighter jeans, too, it’ll emphasize your upper half.” Recently Bobby had started wearing baggy pants, and Jinhwan thought it was unfortunate. Bobby had a nice body, naturally lean and prone to building muscle on top. He was jealous of it, because despite being in top shape, sometimes Jinhwan thought he still looked a little soft, probably because of his face and his height. He envied Bobby’s ability to look intimidating.  
  
“Do you think I should send Hanbin a selfie?” Bobby was still caught on the idea, but he didn’t know if it was too early to be sending each other pictures. He wouldn’t mind having a picture of Hanbin, though.  
  
“Oh sure,” Jinhwan replied, grinning mischievously, “take it fresh out of the shower, complete with water droplets on your skin!”  
  
Bobby pinched his arm. “I’m being serious! Would it be weird if I sent him one?”  
  
Jinhwan studied Bobby’s expression, smiling when he saw that Bobby actually looked _serious._ “I can’t get over how cute you are with this whole thing! Honestly, I’ve never seen you act this way over a guy before.”  
  
“What are you talking about?” Bobby questioned, not wanting to admit Jinhwan’s point.  
  
“You’re actually asking me about timing. _Is it too early to send a selfie?_ Are you kidding me? You never care about this sort of stuff!” Jinhwan was in a teasing mood, but he also thought it was really cute.  
  
Bobby turned on his side, temporarily shoving Jinhwan away. Okay, maybe Jinhwan had a point, but still!  
  
“I just don’t want to fuck this up.”  
  
Jinhwan crawled up Bobby’s side until his chin was resting on his friend’s arm. “You’re not gonna fuck anything up by sending him a really hot picture of yourself, don’t be ridiculous.”  
  
“You don’t know that! What if he thinks I’m being too pushy? That’s a possibility, right?” Bobby wasn’t usually so self-conscious about the hazards of dating, but he’d never met someone he liked as much as Hanbin. He couldn’t help but be nervous.  
  
“So ask him to send you one first?” Jinhwan offered, eyeing Bobby’s phone and feeling mischievous.  
  
“Nah, that would be weird!” Bobby wanted to. God he’d kill for a cute selfie from Hanbin!  
  
“Gimme your phone,” Jinhwan demanded, grabbing it out of Bobby’s hand and typing in his password, “I’ll settle this for you.”  
  
Bobby groaned and thought about taking the phone back, but he figured Jinhwan was just playing with him, trying to tease him into sending Hanbin a message. So instead he just laid back and let Jinhwan pretend to type out a message, not falling for his trick.  
  
“ _Hi, cutiepie! Oppa misses your face, can you send me a pic?_ ” Jinhwan dictated, grinning back at Bobby. “Let’s see what we get!”  
  
Bobby laughed at him. “Ah, that was good, I should take notes from the master.”  
  
Jinhwan winked at him and was about to reply before the phone dinged with a received message. Bobby looked at him with wide eyes. Jinhwan hadn’t _really_ sent that message, had he?  
  
Jinhwan looked down at the screen, whistling in appreciation. “You know, I must not have gotten a good look at Hanbin! He’s even cuter than I remember. Kinda surprised he’s going out with you.” Jinhwan couldn’t help but tease, not dodging when Bobby pried his phone out of Jinhwan’s hands.  
  
“I am going to kill you--” Bobby’s threat stopped immediately when his eyes fell on the screen. It suddenly didn’t matter what message Jinhwan had sent Hanbin, because the picture he got just now was perfect. Hanbin’s intense eyes were the focus, but Bobby also couldn’t help but stare at Hanbin’s perfectly pouty lips, too.  
  
How on earth had he actually snagged _this?_  
  
Jinhwan grinned as he watched Bobby. This was almost like seeing a cute romance movie play out right in front of his own eyes, and it was refreshing. “You’re welcome, by the way!”  
  
Bobby blushed and flopped back against his pillow. He quickly set Hanbin’s picture as both his background and his lock screen. He’d change it before Friday, because maybe that would be a bit much.  
  
“Are you gonna send him one back?” Jinhwan asked, amused at Bobby’s blissful expression.  
  
Bobby looked at their conversation, only now seeing Hanbin’s request for a return photo.  
  
They were really doing this.  
  
“What should I send him?” Bobby asked, suddenly nervous. Hanbin had just sent him the single most perfect picture Bobby had ever seen. How could he possibly send him something as good back?  
  
Jinhwan reached for the phone again, opening the camera up and snapping a quick picture of Bobby laid back against the pillow. Bobby had an interesting face, in Jinhwan’s opinion. Sometimes he looked like the most attractive guy to ever exist, and other times the only word to describe him was definitely _ugly_ . Bobby’s appearance relied on good angles. Jinhwan had managed to capture Bobby at his best, his sharp features softened in a half smile, with the added benefit of Bobby’s arm tucked in behind his head and showing off his bicep.  
  
“Here you go, and once again, _you’re welcome!”_ Jinhwan grinned as he watched Bobby’s expression.  
  
“Wow,” Bobby stared at his own picture, somewhat in awe that it was his own face, “you should be my personal photographer. I always take such shitty pictures, but yours always turn out so good!” He quickly set about sending it to Hanbin, his stomach clenched in nerves while he waited for a response.  
  
“Just add it to my list of things I do perfectly!” Jinhwan replied, pleased at being able to help Bobby out. “Tell me what he says!”  
  
Hanbin’s replies had come lightning quick and Bobby was beaming.  
  
_holy shit_ _  
_ _holy SHIT?_  
_how are you so hot_ _  
_ _im so lucky_ _  
_ _thx oppa ;)_  
  
Jinhwan grabbed the phone again just to read the messages, groaning out loud (though on the inside he was elated at Hanbin’s enthusiastic response) and he put the phone back into Bobby’s hand.  
  
“God, you two are utterly disgusting, you know that, right?”  
  
Bobby laughed and blushed, unsure how to handle the situation without looking like a fool. He always found it a little difficult to accept compliments (especially on his looks) but something about Hanbin’s compliments made him feel like the most attractive guy on Earth.  
  
Friday couldn’t come soon enough.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promise there will be some more interaction for JunHwan soon! Also—as with jiu-jitsu, I know nothing (much) about the trumpet, but I have been reading up and watching videos! So if you are super into the trumpet and something seems off, please let me know. :)


	5. Turtle Guard

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Junhoe deals with his jealousy while Hanbin goes on his first date with Bobby. Jinhwan keeps dodging a difficult subject.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Little cameos from Yunhyeong and Chanwoo this chapter! I promise JunHwan will meet each other again soon. Just need to build it all up! It's coming though. However--a bit of light is starting to be shed on Jinhwan's mysterious ex-boyfriend in this chapter!

“So that’s the story. It’s strange, right hyung? Why is he so against giving me more details? Something weird’s gotta be going on.”  
  
Yunhyeong sighed, giving it a moment before replying lest Junhoe interrupt him with another five minute rant. He was supposed to be tutoring Junhoe in math right now (they should have started fifteen minutes ago) but Junhoe’s mind clearly wasn’t on it. Yunhyeong was mildly annoyed but he let it slide for two reasons:

  1. He enjoyed the drama and liked that Junhoe was coming to him for advice;
  2. He was still getting paid.



“I agree, it does sound a little fishy, but then again, you did mention your track record when it came to Hanbin’s attempts at dating, so it makes sense that he’d keep those details from you if he really likes this guy.”  
  
Junhoe waved the comment off dismissively. “I don’t buy it. He’s never refused to tell me where he’s going before! It just feels _weird,_ I feel like I need to spy on him and follow him on Friday.”  
  
“Whoa, hold on! Now you’re getting to absurd levels of interest. You can’t stalk Hanbin, Junhoe! Just let him have this one date in peace.” Yunhyeong hadn’t realized the attachment issues between Junhoe and Hanbin were so dire. Maybe Junhoe needed a firmer intervention? For Hanbin’s sake.  
  
“I wouldn’t stalk him! You’re making it sound so dramatic.” Stalk was the wrong word. He’d just follow Hanbin. Just until he got to where he was going. In case something happened.  
  
“How does Hanbin put up with you? You’re insane.” Yunhyeong regretted the words as soon as Junhoe levelled him with an angry glare.  
  
“I’m just worried about my best friend, okay? What if he got mixed up with some weirdo?”  
  
“He already _is_ mixed up a weirdo, Junhoe! Look in the mirror.” Yunhyeong grinned, proud of himself for the joke.  
  
Junhoe just shook his head and looked away. He wasn’t being ridiculous, was he? He was just worried about Hanbin. Nothing more.  
  
“Okay if you want my honest opinion,” Yunhyeong started, waiting until he could tell that Junhoe was paying attention, “I think you’re just jealous.”  
  
“I am not!” Junhoe cut in. “I could get a date any time!”  
  
“Not of Hanbin. You’re jealous of the guy he’s going out with.”  
  
Junhoe laughed at the comment. “You think I want to date Hanbin? That’s hilarious, hyung, honestly.”  
  
“No!” Yunhyeong really thought Junhoe would cut a lot of drama out of his life if he learned how to listen to an entire thought first before interrupting. “But you’re used to having Hanbin all to yourself, and now that he’s made plans without consulting you first, you automatically think that means he’s trying to replace you. So you naturally want to fight whoever this new guy is, because Hanbin’s yours, and you don’t want someone else getting involved that’ll take him away from you.”  
  
Junhoe listened with growing irritation. Yunhyeong wasn’t right, no way. Sure, Junhoe was _a little_ jealous at the idea of Hanbin hanging out with someone else, but that was just a tiny little part of the problem. A minor annoyance. Barely even an annoyance at all.  
  
“He’s not _mine,_ hyung! I don’t own him.”  
  
Yunhyeong snorted. “Look in the mirror and tell that to yourself, I think it’s something you need to hear.”  
  
Junhoe kept quiet, fighting back the urge to argue with Yunhyeong. He wasn’t possessive with Hanbin (okay maybe he was just a _tiny_ bit, a mere fraction) and it probably sounded worse to someone outside of his head than it did to him. Whatever. He’d be fine. It was just one Friday. He could handle one Friday without Hanbin.  
  
Probably.  
  
“Are you always this obsessed with him, or did getting knocked out over the weekend knock the sense out of you as well?” Yunhyeong teased.  
  
“I didn’t get knocked out!” Junhoe grumbled, “I got choked out. There’s a difference.”  
  
“Not much of a difference, either way you got your ass kicked.” Yunhyeong thought it was good that Junhoe had lost over the weekend. While he liked the guy, sometimes his ego got a little out of control. Losing a fight was good for him.  
  
“He didn’t _kick my ass!_ ” Junhoe grumbled again, annoyed that they’d moved on to this topic. “I was actually kicking _his_ ass, I just got unlucky.” He’d reviewed the footage again with his coach and felt a little better about the fight. He’d done a much better job the second time around of protecting his guard, and he’d been tighter in his movements. He was still nagged with a bit of doubt though because as good as he’d looked, Jinhwan had only seemed to be going for his back (trying to get a submission, of course). Would he have done as well had Jinhwan tried going for any mount at all?  
  
“Choke outs are one thing, anyone could lock a choke if you get the positioning right,” Junhoe carried on, “but there’s no way that little midget could ever knock me out.”  
  
Yunhyeong grinned at Junhoe’s response. Clearly the situation really bothered him. Yunhyeong thought it was good for him. “Midget? I thought jiu-jitsu was particularly useful when you fought against people who were bigger than you. So you don’t have to feel bad just ‘cause the guy was smaller than you.”  
  
“I don’t need your fake sympathy, hyung! I’m over it, okay? Next time I fight the guy it’s going to be a different outcome. That’s all that needs to be said.”  
  
Yunhyeong bit the inside of his cheek to keep from laughing. Junhoe was entertaining when he got all riled up. But that was enough for one night. “All right, I’m sorry I brought it up. Back to math?”  
  
Junhoe could have kept going, almost wanted to explain to Yunhyeong exactly how he planned to take Jinhwan down next time. But they’d already spent nearly half an hour of study time on this, and if Junhoe’s mother found out she probably wouldn’t let him fight in the next tournament.  
  
“Yeah sure, back to math.”

* * *

  
Bobby fiddled with the zipper on his jacket, trying to keep his mind off of the time. Hanbin had texted him and said he’d be fifteen minutes late (which wouldn’t have been a problem had Bobby’s nerves not gotten the best of him and he’d showed up an hour early). He didn’t mind, because they had more than enough time to get food before the movie. But he couldn’t help but wonder _why_ Hanbin was running late? Was he having second thoughts? Had he decided after all that he didn’t want to go out with him?  
  
Bobby knew that wasn’t really the case. Hanbin’s text had ended off with an enthusiastic _“can’t wait to see you!!”_ after all, so it’s not like he was being closed off and suspicious. But still.  
  
Bobby just hadn’t looked forward to a date so much and he worried that maybe he was setting himself up for something unrealistic? Sure, he and Hanbin seemed perfectly compatible so far, but maybe they’d find things about each other that annoyed them tonight. Maybe he wouldn’t even want a second date? Or worse—he would, but Hanbin wouldn’t?  
  
It’s not that Bobby was self-conscious (well he was, but not that much) but this whole thing seemed to be happening so quickly and didn’t those kinds of relationships always fizzle out? Jiun had warned him about that, had told him that when he’d been Bobby’s age, he thought he’d met the girl of his dreams and everything had been perfect for two weeks, but then they’d gotten bored with each other. It had happened to him twice, actually. The girl he was with now (who he’d been with for two and a half years) had been a different story. They hadn’t even been interested in each other at first, and had only ended up on a “date” because the people they were originally going to go out with hadn’t shown up.  
  
Jiun liked to say it’s was God’s intervention, and while Bobby groaned and told him he was being disgustingly sappy, on the inside he actually thought it was probably true, and he wondered if God was the one responsible for scheduling that first round matchup between Jinhwan and Junhoe, ensuring he’d have a reason to talk to Hanbin?  
  
It would be nice to know his relationship had God’s blessing.  
  
His musing was interrupted by a swatting hand knocking his snapback off his head. He craned his neck to look at the intruder as he dove forward to grab his hat (it was new!) and scowled when he saw the grinning face of Jung Chanwoo.  
  
“Chanu-ya! What the hell!” He slipped the hat back on and stood up.  
  
“Sorry hyung, there was a bug on your head.” Chanwoo replied with a grin.  
  
“The only bug here is you.” Bobby sulked back, still frowning.  
  
“Oooh, that was clever, hyung!” Chanwoo laughed.  
  
Bobby shook his head and tried not to grin. He liked Chanwoo a lot, thought of him like a younger brother even though Chanwoo teased him all the time. “Why are you bothering me, anyway? Go away, I’m busy.”  
  
Chanwoo looked around the area before turning back to Bobby. “Ah right, I can see you’re here with all your friends! So sorry for interrupting you, hyung!”  
  
“I’m actually on a date, so you need to go!”  
  
“You’re on a date? With who, yourself?” Chanwoo laughed and Bobby bit the inside of his mouth trying not to smile.  
  
“I’m waiting for my date, asshole! Get out of here.”  
  
“Ah right, well, keep waiting, hyung! When you’re missing from class on Monday, I’ll know where to find you!” Chanwoo barely moved out of the way in time as Bobby lunged at him, running away and shouting a hasty goodbye back at him. Bobby laughed then as he waved him off, secretly grateful for the interruption.  
  
He saw Hanbin when he turned around to sit back down and Bobby forgot to breathe for a few seconds. Hanbin was wearing his hair swept back off his forehead and Bobby almost didn’t recognize him. When he’d first looked at him, and every subsequent time, he’d thought Hanbin was _cute._ But this, with his hair swept back?  
  
This _had_ to be God giving his blessing, right?!  
  
Hanbin approached him with a smile on his face and Bobby could see Hanbin’s eyes giving him a lengthy once-over and he was glad Jinhwan had helped him pick out an outfit. Hanbin’s smile was wider by the time his eyes made it back up to Bobby’s face.  
  
“Hey, sorry I’m late! Had to drop my sister off with my uncle.” Hanbin stopped just in front of Bobby, smile faltering just a little at the look on Bobby’s face.  
  
Bobby was still shocked over the transformation with the hair, but he quickly recovered and smiled back at Hanbin. “Oh, that’s fine, really! Not a problem, family first.” He couldn’t focus on anything other than how good Hanbin looked right now. Bobby honestly just wanted to lean forward and kiss him.  
  
Hanbin smiled again after Bobby’s comment, but they stood in silence for a few seconds before he finally broke it. “You look really good, hyung.” Hanbin’s eyes were drawn back to Bobby’s chest, the tank top just tight enough to show off an outline of Bobby’s defined muscles. Hanbin _loved_ muscular guys.  
  
Bobby blushed at the compliment, feeling weirdly shy before getting a grip on himself. “Ah, thanks! But you’re the one who looks amazing tonight.” Bobby had been so fixated on Hanbin’s change in hairstyle that he hadn’t even paid attention to what he was wearing. But the ripped skinny jeans and white leather jacket definitely only reinforced how _hot_ Hanbin looked tonight. Bobby almost wanted to skip the movie and suggest they do… _other things._  
  
But he didn’t want to give Hanbin the wrong impression. Concentrating on conversation might be hard, though.  
  
Hanbin blushed too at Bobby’s compliment, pleased to hear it. He’d spent two hours agonizing over what to wear (and had changed his outfit four times, annoying his mother for her opinion) until finally his father had broken down and interrupted, gifting Hanbin with the new leather jacket he was wearing ( _“this was supposed to be a birthday present, but since you’re in dire need of something special, you’re getting it early!”_ ).  
  
Hanbin didn’t usually put such an effort into what he wore, despite having a minor interest in fashion, but he really wanted to make a good impression tonight. Which was probably stupid, because hadn’t he _already_ made a good impression?  
  
Bobby finally got his thoughts sorted out and kicked his brain back into gear. “So, do you have any preference about what we eat? There’s a bunch of places around.”  
  
Hanbin shrugged. “I’m good with everything really. Whatever you want is okay with me. I’ll eat anything.”  
  
Usually Bobby had no problem making decisions, but for some reason he was stupidly nervous over picking a spot for food. Sure, Hanbin _said_ he’d eat anything. But what if he secretly hated whatever decision Bobby made? For a second Bobby couldn’t even remember what _he_ liked!  
  
_It’s just dinner! Get a hold of yourself, idiot._  
  
“Wanna just go for barbeque?” Meat was always a good option.  
  
“Barbeque’s great!” Hanbin was happy with the option. Barbeque was a good way to make sure they kept up conversation, at least, neither of them would get sucked into just eating their meals nervously in silence. Without thinking about it Hanbin wrapped his hand around Bobby’s arm, his natural inclination towards being physically clingy manifesting right away. “Do you want to buy the movie tickets first so we don’t have to worry about getting them after we eat?”  
  
Bobby didn’t hear Hanbin’s question, caught off guard by the hand on his arm. His heart stopped at the contact and he stared at the hand until Hanbin suddenly yanked it back with an embarrassed look on his face.  
  
“Ah, sorry! Confession time—I’m actually really touchy. Sorry, it just happens, I told myself to watch it but--”  
  
“No it’s okay!” Bobby interrupted, sorry that his reaction had looked negative to Hanbin. “I mean, we’re on a date, right? We should probably, like, you know--” _ugh, why was this so difficult?!_  
  
Hanbin’s expression softened again and he seemed to know exactly what Bobby was trying to say, and suddenly they moved at the same time, as natural as breathing. Bobby’s arm raised just as Hanbin moved in under it, and when they settled Hanbin had one arm wrapped comfortably around Bobby’s waist while the other was folded up his chest, fingers clutching at the hand that was draped over Hanbin’s shoulder.  
  
Their heights were a natural complement, Bobby thought, and he was elated to have Hanbin so physically close. It felt _perfect_ to have him like this, it felt like this is how they should be. While Bobby wasn’t normally the sort who engaged in physical displays, he couldn’t help but _want_ to be all wrapped up in Hanbin. He wanted to be obvious about it, wanted everyone to see them together and know.  
  
Most of all he just _really_ wanted to kiss Hanbin, and that desire was manifesting itself in the form of a dozen butterflies in his stomach and an almost feverish buzz in his brain of _should he ask, should he just go for it?_  
  
Hanbin, on the other hand, felt more relaxed at the moment that Bobby’s arm had settled around his shoulders than he’d felt all week. Something about it just felt right, something about _Bobby_ felt right. He never really put much thought into how long things would last (a relationship didn’t have to be long-term in order for it to be important, not as long as you got something worthwhile out of it) but for the first time in his life, Hanbin found himself hoping that things would stay like this for a long time. Hoping that _Bobby_ would stay for a long time.  
  
Hanbin tilted his head to the side and looked up at Bobby, about to ask him which of the three barbeque places close by he wanted to go to, but his voice faltered when he saw the way that Bobby was staring at him, open mouthed and adoring eyes. Hanbin smiled at him.  
  
Bobby felt like his heart might burst.  
  
“Uh, Hanbin, can I--”  
  
The words stuck in his throat, not so much because he was nervous, but mostly because it was just _too perfect._  
  
But Hanbin seemed to know exactly what he meant, because his smile grew brighter and a second later he was pressing his lips to Bobby’s, and if it hadn’t been for Hanbin’s body firm and solid in his arms, Bobby’s pretty sure he would have melted.

* * *

  
“Hyung, can you check on my form, please?”  
  
Jinhwan took a final swig of water from his bottle before replacing it on the bench. He was currently working a shift at the training academy, helping out with his second class of white belts. He really enjoyed helping to train the kids who were just starting out, thought it was exceptionally rewarding to see how quickly some of them grew. He didn’t mean to play favourites, but the one looking for his help now _was_ his favourite (and the kid probably knew it, too).  
  
“Of course, Minhyuk-ah! What are you working on tonight?” Jinhwan followed him over to his sparring partner, another young boy by the name of Seunghwan.  
  
“We’re practicing chokes, hyung!”  
  
Jinhwan smiled—he couldn’t help himself, the kids were so _cute._ He wondered if he’d been this cute when he’d started? A tiny, dorky little eleven year old who’d been pushed into the sport because his grandfather had been tired of him being bullied all the time. Jinhwan hadn’t even _wanted_ to fight back then, but his grandfather had forced him into it. Two months later and he’d been grateful when it turned out that he was actually a natural at it.  
  
“Alright, get in position, show me a rear naked choke.” He crouched down near the boys, watching them as they struggled into positions. He corrected a few things as they happened, and was quick to compliment what looked good. Finally Minhyuk got the hold on Seunghwan, but Jinhwan stopped him when he couldn’t manage to lock it in properly.  
  
“Minhyuk-ah, you need to get your arm under the chin, you keep going over it.” Jinhwan demonstrated on Seunghwan, eventually leading Minhyuk over to the mirror to demonstrate on the boy himself.  
  
“Come here and I’ll do it on you so you feel what you’re doing,” Jinhwan said, and once Minhyuk stood in front of him (with Seunghwan standing next to them watching) Jinhwan brought his arm up and positioned it over Minhyuk’s chin. “If I tighten it on you, how does it feel? You can still breathe, can’t you?” He asked, and Minhyuk confirmed.  
  
“What you want to do is make sure you tuck your arm in _under_ the chin, right up against the neck,” he pulled back on Minhyuk’s head just enough to slip his arm in where it needed to be and applied minimal pressure, “feel a difference already?”  
  
Minhyuk got it, and Jinhwan repeated the same process on Seunghwan before sending them back to the mat to practice getting their arms locked in.  
  
Maybe it was a little weird, taking joy out of teaching ten year olds how to choke each other out, but Jinhwan enjoyed it nonetheless. Maybe it just reminded him of himself when he was their age, remembered the surge in confidence that training had given him. In the span of six months, Jinhwan had gone from being a bullied “dork” to having more friends than he knew what to do with. The boys who’d previously teased him had all backed off and treated him with a new level of respect. It wasn’t so much the intimidation factor that made Jinhwan feel good.  
  
It was just finally being accepted, finally being _liked_ without having to change anything about himself (because underneath his new status as a tough guy, he was still a dorky kid obsessed with playing the trumpet). He was just also a burgeoning jiu-jitsu fighter who didn’t let anyone talk down to him or his new friends.  
  
He liked to think that he was helping some of these kids find their way similarly, and was grateful that he was given the opportunity to help train them. He felt like teaching these kids was his _calling_ in life, felt like it was what he was supposed to be doing. He still loved music, still took great joy and satisfaction from playing. But he just couldn’t compare the feelings he got from performing music for mostly adults to what he got from teaching young, impressionable kids how to feel good about themselves.  
  
But training might not pay the bills the way music would (provided he got that spot in the orchestra, which he probably would unless he fucked up). Life wasn’t always about what you wanted. Sometimes you had to sacrifice your happiness if it meant survival.  
  
He spent another ten minutes with the two before moving on to another pair of young fighters, pointing out areas in need of improvement and complimenting what was good. When the class finished he took a seat on the bench, checking his phone for an update from Bobby. His last update had come just before the class started, an excitedly long rambling mass about how stunning Hanbin looked, and how perfect they fit together, and how without even saying it out loud, Hanbin had responded to Bobby asking him for a kiss. On one hand Jinhwan thought it was cute. He was happy for Bobby, pleased to see him so caught up in someone else.  
  
On the other hand he hoped Bobby was going to calm down with the over the top messages, because even someone who enjoyed romance stories as much as Jinhwan did had their limits.  
  
This time the message was short and it came accompanied with a picture. Jinhwan’s breath caught in his throat for a second when he got it open--they really did look _perfect_ together. Bobby’s message consisted of only a few words _(hes so perfect im so lucky)_ and a lot of heart-eyed emojis. Jinhwan couldn’t help but grin as he read it.  
  
_bro ur being too cute im getting cavities cut it out_  
  
Jinhwan added a few heart-eyed emojis of his own to his message before sending it off. It was nice to see Bobby so happy, but at the same time it made him think of himself a year ago, when he’d been that happy. Being in love was addicting, and when you were in the moment, it was hard to focus on anything else.  
  
Sometimes he missed it. Other times he wished it had never happened, because he’d been blissfully unaware of just how painful heartbreak was, of how it could creep up on you when you least expected it, how it never let you go even when you thought you were done with it.  
  
“Jinan-ie, good work with the kids tonight!”  
  
Jinhwan looked up, smiling at his gym’s head instructor, a black belt by the name of Dong Youngbae. He was a nice guy, almost had ten years on Jinhwan, but he was still friendly and open. He’d made Jinhwan’s move back to Seoul seamless when it came to jiu-jitsu.  
  
“Thanks, hyung! I appreciate the invite to come and help out!”  
  
Youngbae smiled back at him. “You’re very good with the kids, I like that. The kids seem to like you a lot as well, so it’s a good match. I don’t know if you were taking off right away, but I wanted to see if you were interested in reviewing your matches from the weekend? I have time now if you’re not on your way out.”  
  
“Sure, hyung! That would be great.” Jinhwan hadn’t had the chance to sit down and really review his fights yet, and he was dying to watch that first one again. He could skip over the majority of the last one and get right to the choke, though. He had a feeling a lecture was waiting over that last match.  
  
They relocated to Youngbae’s office after the last of the students left, Jinhwan taking a seat on the couch while Youngbae hooked his laptop up to the TV. They started out with the first fight, and Jinhwan couldn’t help but grin while he watched it. He’d totally _owned_ that cocky little shithead’s _ass_ in that first round. Watching it again now, Jinhwan thought it was one of his best matches.  
  
Youngbae commented on his form and positioning, having nothing negative to point out, only positives. Jinhwan’s first round fights were often his best ones of any tournament he competed in, and he knew it had to do with his desire to set an intimidating first impression. He was trying to work on keeping his fire up at the same level for each round, but there was something magical about that first fight that captivated him every time.  
  
It was nearly an hour later when they finally got to his final (they’d watched a few matches of some of Jinhwan’s fellow fighters as well; Youngbae liked to give Jinhwan the opportunity to critique other fighter’s forms and matches, it was a good way to train as an instructor). Jinhwan was hesitant about watching it. Not only did he know there would be a lecture he’d have to endure, but he also didn’t want to see Junhoe controlling the fight.  
  
Right before it started there was a zoom-in close up of their faces, and Jinhwan couldn’t help but stare at Junhoe’s. _Why were the hot ones always assholes?_  
  
They watched a bit of the match and as expected, Youngbae was full of questions.  
  
“Why did you keep letting him get in your guard all the time? It looked sloppy, you’re normally better than that.”  
  
Jinhwan knew he was in for a lecture--he’d been dreading this moment of the conversation. “Honestly I was trying to get him in a position to submit him. I wanted his back and kept trying to trick him into giving it up, but he defended it better than I expected.”  
  
Youngbae gave him a disapproving frown. “Jinhwan, the final match of a tournament is not the place to be testing yourself. Fight your opponent with respect, don’t treat him like a sparring partner. That’s a poor attitude.”  
  
Jinhwan bit the inside of his cheek to keep from grinning (he couldn’t help it, it was because he kept thinking about the disappointed look on Junhoe’s face after waking up) and tried to sound serious. “I apologize, hyung, I understand what you’re saying. It was a poor example for my teammates.”  
  
“I hope you mean that,” Youngbae said, “I’ll be watching you the next time.” Jinhwan couldn’t help but let the grin take over, and he laughed when he heard Youngbae sigh.  
  
“I’m sorry hyung, I shouldn’t be laughing.” Jinhwan bit the inside of his cheek but it was difficult to get a grip on himself. Youngbae wasn’t so intimidating when they were one-on-one like this.  
  
“Ah, you!” Youngbae smiled back at him, shaking his head as he got up. “I heard from Eric,” Youngbae said as he started shutting down his computer, “he wanted me to talk to you about California, since you keep putting him off.”  
  
Jinhwan sighed, wishing that he could find some easy way to get out of the conversation.  
  
“I’m still thinking about it, I have a lot to consider.” That was a nice, evasive answer.  
  
Youngbae didn’t take it, though. “What’s holding you back? Are you just nervous about moving away to train, or is there something else?”  
  
Jinhwan hesitated, wondering how much he ought to admit to? There legitimately was the whole concern surrounding moving away. He had a decent grasp on English, but the thought of living by himself in an English speaking country was terrifying. Not quite as terrifying as talking to his mother about it, though.  
  
“Mostly moving away,” he admitted, “my English is okay, and I’ve lived away from my family enough times that I’m alright with them not being with me. But it’s mostly the language barrier, and just the cultural thing.”  
  
Youngbae joined him on the couch again. “Have you talked to Eric about that? He went through the exact same thing, I’m sure he could help you.”  
  
Jinhwan shook his head. How was he even supposed to explain the situation? _Nope, haven’t talked to my ex-trainer because he’s also my ex-boyfriend--surprise!_ No one knew there had been anything going on between them, and especially now that Eric continued to keep in touch with him, it was difficult for Jinhwan to keep a firm boundary. He wanted more space, but Eric continued crowding him (maybe _crowding_ was the wrong word, because it was nothing more than occasional text messages—it’s just that Jinhwan thought about him so often that he _felt_ crowded). The worst part though was that Jinhwan couldn’t _really_ be mad about it. Eric just wanted what was best for Jinhwan’s career as a fighter (and Jinhwan hadn’t exactly told him that he didn’t want to talk to him, so it’s not like he was ignoring Jinhwan’s request).  
  
“I know I should talk to him about it, but I haven’t.”  
  
Youngbae sighed. “Ah, I don’t get you, sometimes. You have someone with every bit of information you could possibly need, and you keep dodging him? I know there has to be more to the story. I thought you were close to him, he trained you for two years, didn’t he?”  
  
Jinhwan swallowed nervously, his mouth suddenly dry and his palms sweaty. _Just tell him about your mom. Don’t tell him about your relationship with Eric. It won’t do either of you any good._  
  
“We were, but, I don’t know,” Jinhwan shrugged and felt lost, “I guess maybe I’m just more scared than I want to admit.”  
  
Youngbae smiled and squeezed Jinhwan’s shoulder. “I understand, it’s difficult. But you have a good opportunity, Jinhwan. Don’t let fear hold you back.”  
  
Jinhwan grinned. “Yeah, yeah. The whole _fear is a cage, break out of it_ lecture.” He laughed when Youngbae swatted his arm.  
  
“Cheeky little shit. I think I invest too much of my time in you!”  
  
Jinhwan wasn’t worried about Youngbae’s comments, because he was laughing and smiling. Had he managed to give him just enough to get him out of his hair this time?  
  
“Let’s talk about this again in a few weeks, okay? Do some real thinking about it, and talk to Eric. He’ll have answers for you. It’s your life, Jinhwan, we just want you to make the most of it.” Youngbae ruffled a hand through his hair and despite the anxiety over the conversation, Jinhwan felt good now that he was out of it for the night.  
  
“Thanks, hyung! I appreciate your concern, and I promise I’ll really think about it.” He would think about it, again, for the millionth time.  
  
Maybe this time he’d finally talk to Eric too.  
  
Maybe.  
  
_Probably not._


	6. The Hook

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Junhoe discovers the truth about Hanbin's new boyfriend. It doesn't go over well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Originally this was only supposed to be half of this chapter, but the other scene is getting way too long, so I'm splitting them up into two! This chapter is only Hanbin and Junhoe (and their sisters). Bobby and Jinhwan (and Hanbin;) will be the focus of the next chapter! :)

“Fuck, why can’t I get integers? This is bullshit!” Junhoe threw his notebook down in frustration.  
  
“Didn’t you spend Friday with your tutor?” Hanbin asked, looking up from his nearly complete homework.   
  
“Yeah,” Junhoe grumbled, electing to _not_ tell Hanbin that he’d spent half the lesson complaining about Hanbin’s date, “none of it seemed to stick.”   
  
Hanbin held a hand out for Junhoe’s notebook. “Give it to me, let me see what you’re doing.”   
  
Junhoe handed it over, annoyed that he was having problems while Hanbin wasn’t. “I wish we could just skip this unit. Linear inequalities was such a good start to the semester.” He’d killed that first unit in class, feeling certain it was a sign that math class would go better for him this year than it went last year.   
  
Hanbin grinned and looked over Junhoe’s attempts at solving their homework problems. “We’ll get your head wrapped around integers!” While he started correcting Junhoe’s attempts at solving the problems, Junhoe was on his phone reading a new message.   
  
“Ugh, are you fucking kidding me?”   
  
Hanbin didn’t bother looking up. “What are you crying about now?”   
  
“I just got a message from Jaeho about our history project.”   
  
“The one due on Tuesday?” Hanbin and Junhoe had history together, but were in different groups for this particular project.   
  
“Yeah. He just talked to Wonbin, and apparently _his computer died_ and he lost his part of the project. Jaeho was gonna put it all together today, but now we have nothing for Wonbin’s part!” Junhoe felt like throwing his phone at the wall.   
  
Hanbin tsk’ed and continued correcting Junhoe’s math. “Should have had him write it on Google Docs like I told you! Didn’t I tell you that? After getting stiffed by him last year? I think I remember that conversation.”   
  
Junhoe’s fingers tightened around his phone. “Yes, I fucking remember that conversation but it’s a bit late for that now so would you mind not mentioning it?” He hated it when Hanbin was right about something, his smug _told-you-so_ attitude that made Junhoe want to slap an armbar on him and never let it go.   
  
“Well, I hate to say I told--”   
  
“You don’t hate it at all, shut up!” Junhoe started composing an angry text back to Jaeho, but just as he was getting to the end his phone died. “Fuck! Dead battery, _of course._ ”  
  
Hanbin grinned and had to physically bite his tongue to keep from teasing him about how he should have plugged his phone in when he got there. Junhoe was easy to tease, but sometimes Hanbin knew that he teased him about too many things at once.   
  
“Figures, it died right in the middle of my message. I’m gonna send it on yours.” Junhoe made a grab for Hanbin’s phone and all Hanbin could do was turn and watch, Junhoe’s notebook momentarily forgotten in his lap, wide eyes on his best friend, stomach clenched nervously. His lock screen was a picture from his date on Friday. Him and Bobby. Any second now…   
  
“What the fuck, Hanbin? _This_ is your new boyfriend?” Junhoe stared at the phone in shock.   
  
Hanbin swallowed hard and nodded, before realizing that Junhoe was still looking at the phone so his acknowledgement had gone unnoticed. “Yeah, that’s him.” Junhoe recognized him, didn’t he? Any second now and he was going to explode in anger.   
  
“Dude,” Junhoe shook his head as he stared at the picture, “why did you lie to me?”   
  
“What?” That wasn’t exactly the question Hanbin had been expecting, mostly because it lacked any expletives.   
  
“I thought you said he was ugly? This guy’s actually kinda hot.”   
  
Hanbin let out the breath he’d been holding. Did Junhoe not recognize him, then? Had he been worried over nothing?   
  
“Seriously bro, this dude’s by far the hottest guy you’ve ever been with. Or tried to be with, even. Good job.” Junhoe _was_ impressed. Sure, he could use braces with those crooked front teeth, and maybe he just knew which angles he looked good from--but he looked _really good_ from those particular angles, so it was worth celebrating. But there was also something about the guy, some niggling feeling knocking at the back of his brain. “You sure I don’t know him, though? He looks familiar.”   
  
_Shit._ “Uh, you probably just saw him at the venue, remember that’s where I met him?” Hanbin hoped his voice wasn’t shaking too hard when he spoke.   
  
“Yeah, maybe.” Junhoe studied him a bit longer before swiping into Hanbin’s phone, where he was greeted with another picture of the guy, and he was impressed all over again. Good for Hanbin. At least he wasn’t being ditched for some ugly troll. Of course the guy wasn’t anywhere near as good looking as Junhoe was himself (hardly anyone was) but it was a step up from the last guy Hanbin had dated.   
  
Hanbin took a few slow, deep breaths as Junhoe went about sending his message, calming himself down. Crisis averted. For now, at least. He was really going to have to figure this out, though, because he had no doubt that it would all come to a head eventually, and he really ought to figure out a way to tell Junhoe who Bobby was before he found out himself.   
  
Junhoe set about re-writing his message to Jaeho (which was slightly less angry than the one on his own phone) and sent it off before composing another one to Wonbin (that was really angry, and he even included a line about how he should have been saving it on-line). Right after sending it he navigated back to the home screen, staring at Hanbin’s new boyfriend. He just couldn’t shake the feeling about him, and while he waited for Hanbin to finish with his math homework, he leaned back against the wall and thought back to the weekend, scanning his brain for where he might have seen him.   
  
It hit him like a brick in the face (and it hurt just as much).   
  
“You fucking traitor!” Junhoe threw the phone down on the bed before standing up, and the look of fear on Hanbin’s face was all the confirmation he needed. “He’s friends with the midget!”   
  
Hanbin took a deep breath to stay calm. This wasn’t the first time Junhoe had flipped out on him (usually over matters slightly more trivial) but this was the first one where he thought the hurt feelings were somewhat justified, so he needed to tread carefully.   
  
“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you first,” Hanbin said, “I was going to.”   
  
“I don’t care if you were going to tell me or not! What are you doing, dating him in the first place?”   
  
“I’m sorry, we just had a really good connection right off the bat. It’s not like I went looking for him, he just showed up behind me in line.” Hanbin remained sitting on the bed, hoping Junhoe would hear him out.   
  
“You shouldn’t have even talked to him at all! I don’t care what kind of connection you had! I wouldn’t do that to you.” Junhoe stood with his arms crossed, staring hard at Hanbin. He was still a little in shock at the truth. _How could he?_ “And I take back what I said earlier! He’s not hot at all, he’s an ugly troll! Exactly what you deserve for backstabbing me.”   
  
Despite the severity of Junhoe’s negative reaction, Hanbin couldn’t help but feel like laughing. It was so like Junhoe to say something like that, calling Bobby a troll now, and Hanbin wasn’t upset about it. He’d learned how to read Junhoe perfectly over the years, and he knew the difference between insults that Junhoe meant, and insults he gave out to protect his own wounded pride. This was definitely in the second category, and Hanbin would let him have it this time.   
  
“Did he spend the whole time talking about how much I suck compared to his little friend?”   
  
“We didn’t talk about you at all,” Hanbin replied, “you or Jinhwan. And he wouldn’t say anything bad about you anyway, because he’s actually a really nice guy. Honestly, you’d like him if you met him.” Hanbin was sure of it. It might take Junhoe a while to accept him, but he’d _like_ Bobby right from the start (even if he refused to admit it).   
  
“I would _not_ like him!” Junhoe fumed. “I don’t care how nice he is! It’s the principle of the matter.”   
  
Hanbin didn’t say anything in response. It was a delicate situation right now. Usually he could tease Junhoe into getting over these blowups, but he had a feeling that it would only make matters worse this time.   
  
Junhoe stood in silence, fiery gaze still on Hanbin. For a brief second he had a flash of Hanbin’s happy expression earlier when he’d asked him how the date had gone. He hadn’t seen Hanbin looking as happy as he had after a date _ever._ But still!! Hanbin was dating the enemy. It wasn’t right. It didn’t matter how nice he was, or how well they clicked. Junhoe couldn’t accept it.   
  
“Are you gonna see him again?” Junhoe asked.   
  
Hanbin met his eyes and nodded. It didn’t go over well.   
  
Junhoe grabbed his notebook out of Hanbin’s lap, stuffing it in his backpack.   
  
“Junhoe! Don’t be like this--”   
  
“ _Like this?_ Hanbin, you’re _my_ best friend, and you’re dating the best friend of my enemy?! You don’t expect me to be upset?”   
  
“He’s not your enemy! You fought him at one tournament! You’re taking this rivalry too far.” Hanbin knew it was a risky move, calling Junhoe out on his intense reaction to Jinhwan. But it needed to be said, and it needed to be resolved. He didn’t expect Junhoe to stay after he’d said it. At best he was hoping that by the time Monday rolled around, Junhoe would be ready to pretend like the whole thing had never happened.   
  
“Have fun with your new boyfriend.” Junhoe slung his bag over his shoulder and left the room, wanting to slam the door behind him, but the sudden appearance of Hanbin’s little sister stayed his hand.   
  
“Junhoe oppa, are you leaving?” Hanbyul asked, standing in the doorway to her bedroom.   
  
Junhoe smiled at her (it was a fake smile, of course, but she was only four, so she wouldn’t notice) and tried to speak with a happy sounding voice. “I have to go home, my mom called me.” She blinked at him in confusion and he thought about just rushing off down the hall and letting Hanbin come up with something to tell her.   
  
“Okay!” Her confused look passed and she ran up to him to hug his leg. “Bye, oppa!”   
  
Junhoe couldn’t curse the timing more. He was angry and he needed to stay angry (because there was no way he was going to let Hanbin come out of this unscathed) but it was hard to be angry with a cute four year old hugging you. He felt like a huge jerk.   
  
“Bye, Byul-ah! You be good, okay?” He patted her head and she looked up at him with a big smile that reminded him of Hanbin’s face. Why did she have to be a near carbon copy of her brother?!   
  
“You be good too, oppa!” She laughed and disentangled herself from his leg before running down the hall for Hanbin’s room. Junhoe sighed and continued on his way to the door, his anger burnt down to barely smoldering embers.   
  
_Damn little kids._   
  
Hanbin was lying face down on his bed when Hanbyul ran into his room and tried to jump up next to him. He heard her whine in frustration when she couldn’t quite make it and he rolled over, hands reaching out to pull her up. He wasn’t sure what to expect from her, didn’t know if she’d overheard his argument with Junhoe. He’d tried to keep his voice down, but Junhoe was notoriously loud all the time.   
  
“Oppa, can you read me a story?”   
  
He hadn’t expected the request, but was glad for it. Might take his mind off of Junhoe for a bit.   
  
“Of course I can! What story do you want?” He sat up and waited for her answer. She just shrugged and smiled at him.   
  
“I don’t know! Go get one!” She pushed his arm with her foot and he couldn’t even scold her because she was too cute. Instead he got off his bed and made his way to her room, stooping down to grab a book from her shelf. When he got back she was sitting up by his pillow waiting for him, looking down at his phone.   
  
“Oppa, who’s the boy on the phone?” She asked him as he sat down next to her.   
  
“That’s Bobby,” he answered, taking the phone out of her hands and putting it on his bedside table, “he’s my new friend.”   
  
“Do you like him?” Hanbyul asked, cuddling into his side as soon as he laid back against the wall.   
  
“Of course I like him, he’s my friend.” Hanbin looked down at her, wondering if she meant _another_ type of like. She’d recently started watching Disney movies and was beginning to grasp the concept of what being in love was.   
  
“Do you kiss him?” She asked, giggling after asking the question.   
  
“Byul-ah, that’s not the kind of question you ask people!” He laughed and tickled her.   
  
She squealed and grabbed at his hands. “Oppa, no!”   
  
Hanbin grinned and kept tickling her. “Do you want me to stop?” She nodded and tried to squirm away, but he kept his arms tight around her. “Okay, but you have to give me a kiss first!”   
  
She quickly pressed a kiss to his cheek, laughing when he let her go. She laid down beside him again, still giggling. Hanbin stared at her fondly for a moment before opening the book he’d picked out.   
  
Sleeping Beauty. Of course. He just had to pick one where a kiss plays an important role in the story!   
  
He started reading it to her and she listened happily, and when the kissing scene came and went without commentary he thought that maybe she’d forgotten about her attempts at teasing him earlier. He finished the book and looked down at her, pecking a little kiss on her forehead.   
  
“Oppa, why do you kiss boys?”   
  
Hanbin was surprised at how calm he was with the question. He’d been expecting it given her new interest in Disney princesses, and he was relieved that it came now, when it was just the two of them.   
  
“I like boys,” he answered, “some boys like girls, and some girls like girls. Some people like everyone, and some people don’t like anyone at all! When you get older, you can kiss whoever you want, as long as they like you.”   
  
That answer seemed to make her happy. “I want to kiss girls! Boys are gross!”   
  
He grinned and kissed her cheek. “What about me? Am I gross?”   
  
“No! You’re the only boy that’s not gross.” She gave him a kiss back and hugged him, and Hanbin wasn’t even thinking about Junhoe anymore for the time being.   


* * *

  
Junhoe was back to being angry again by the time he got home. He kicked his sneakers off by the door (but stooped down to rearrange them so they didn’t look messy, because his mom hated that) before stomping down the hall towards his bedroom. His parents were out for day visiting his aunt, so he didn’t expect any company.   
  
But just before he made it to his room the door across from his opened and his sister appeared.   
  
“Ah, it’s just you! I thought it was a herd of elephants!” She grinned at him but her expression fell short when she noticed the look on his face. Before she could say anything he ducked into his room.   
  
“Hi noona, bye noona.” Junhoe felt a little bad for brushing his sister off but he wasn’t in the mood for company. She didn’t visit much, so he wasn’t even sure why she was here since everyone was supposed to be out.   
  
He dropped his bag by the door and plugged his phone into the charger before dropping onto his bed. He was angry at Hanbin for more than just _Bobby_ right now. He still didn’t understand integers and he had no way to communicate with his history partners until his phone charged. The whole thing was such an inconvenience! Aside from the personal insult, of course.   
  
Two minutes later the door to his room opened, but Junhoe didn’t bother turning over to tell his sister to go away. He waited for her to say something, but instead he felt his bed dip down when she sat next to him.   
  
“I know you’re bothered about something, so I brought ice cream and you’re gonna tell me what’s wrong!” Yejin settled back against the headboard and dropped a spoon in front of his face.   
  
“Noona--”   
  
“Don’t tell me to go away, June-ya. I’m your older sister, when you’re upset you have to tell me what’s bothering you. It’s the law.”   
  
Junhoe huffed in annoyance (both because she was intruding _and_ because she’d brought his favourite ice cream). He always caved when she did that.   
  
“Come on, sit up and tell me what’s going on. Don’t make me eat this entire tub by myself, because I will! Then I’ll get fat and it’ll be your fault! Do you want that on your conscience? Hmm? Do you want a fat sister that no one’s going to love, so that means I’ll be stuck here harassing you for the rest of your life?” Yejin grinned as she took a bite of ice cream, intent on annoying him into conversation if she had to.   
  
Ugh, _fine!_ He picked up the spoon and sat up next to her, grabbing the container when she offered it. Maybe he’d just have a bit and then tell her to go away.   
  
“Come on, out with it. I thought you were hanging out with Hanbin today? Did he finally dump you?” Yejin teased him, but she’d picked her words carefully. She remembered the guy she’d caught Hanbin flirting with last weekend, wondering if her brother had finally found out about him.   
  
“I was with Hanbin,” Junhoe admitted, “but now I’m not.” He took another bite of ice cream, mostly to keep his mouth full.   
  
“I’m not blind, dummy, something happened. Tell me about it and you’ll feel better.” She grabbed the ice cream back and took another scoop.   
  
Junhoe really didn’t want to talk to her about it, he just wanted to stew some more. He was worried she might disagree with him and tell him he was overreacting. But she wouldn’t leave him alone until he told her.   
  
“Hanbin has a new boyfriend.” Junhoe took another scoop of ice cream.   
  
“And you’re angry about that why?” Yejin wanted to blurt out that she knew who he was, but then Junhoe would just get mad at her for knowing and not saying anything.   
  
“Because he’s the best friend of that asshole who choked me out at the tournament.” Fuck, it _sucked_ to say it out loud.   
  
“Ah, that’s harsh.” Yejin tried to sound appropriately sympathetic. “Did you meet the guy?”   
  
“No! Why would I want to? If he’s friends with that guy then he’s my enemy.” Junhoe could hear the lecture creeping into her voice already. Was it so much to ask for his own sister to be on his side?!   
  
“Enemy? Don’t you think you’re being a little dramatic?” Yejin chose her words carefully, making sure she kept her tone light. “I get why you’re upset, but maybe he’s a great guy.”   
  
“I don’t care if he’s a great guy,” Junhoe grumbled, “there are sides, and Hanbin is supposed to be on my side.”   
  
“Junhoe, he’s your best friend, I don’t think he’s trying to upset you with this new boyfriend.” Yejin knew from experience that Junhoe was about to cut her off, and she slapped her finger over his lips to keep him from talking. “Did you actually talk to him about it, or did you just storm off in a huff when you found out?”   
  
Junhoe didn’t answer her question. Damn her for always being able to point out when he was somehow in the wrong!   
  
“June-ya, you can’t treat him like that,” Yejin said, “if he still went out with this guy despite knowing you’d be upset, don’t you think that means that maybe he really likes him? You should talk to him about it, have an open mind.”   
  
Junhoe just frowned and shook his head. “I wouldn’t do that to him, date someone that I know he didn’t like.”   
  
“Ah that doesn’t count, only because you’re so prickly at first glance that no one would ever fall for you right away!” Yejin teasingly said, taking another scoop of ice cream.   
  
Junhoe looked at her with a pained expression. “It really hurts to hear you say that.” Okay it didn’t hurt _that much_ (mostly because it was true), but he was upset that she wasn’t taking his side at all and he wanted to guilt her into being more sympathetic.   
  
“Does it really?” She asked, and when he nodded she smiled. “Good! That’s probably how Hanbin felt when you just yelled at him and stormed off.”   
  
_Ouch._   
  
“I love you, Junhoe, but you’re very selfish sometimes. I know Hanbin is used to it, and you’re lucky that he doesn’t get upset, but you need to work on it. You can’t always expect him to put you first. If he likes this guy, he’s going to date him, and as long as this guy treats him well, you should be happy for him. He’d be happy for you.”   
  
Junhoe looked at the wall and frowned. God, he hated her lectures! They always had a way of digging in under his skin and making him feel terrible.   
  
“Now call or text him and apologize for being a jerk, okay? I know you love him, and he loves you too, so it’s not like your little blowup is going to hurt your friendship. But you should apologize. I’m sure it would mean a lot to him.” Yejin studied his face for a moment, and when she saw the guilty look in his eyes she hugged him.   
  
“I know you mean well, emotions are hard at your age.” She couldn’t resist teasing him one last time and she leaned forward to annoy him further by kissing his cheek. “You’re a good kid!”   
  
“Yejin!” There was only so much abuse Junhoe was willing to take before yelling at her. “Stop being gross!”   
  
“Gross?! You’re my little brother, I can kiss your cheek if I want to!”   
  
“Ugh, get away from me!” Junhoe whined, scooting down the bed and taking the ice cream with him.   
  
Yejin just laughed before she threw her spoon at him. “Eat the rest of that, you’ll feel better!” She winked at him before standing up and heading for the door. “I’ll leave you alone for now, but if you need me for anything, I’ll be in my room reading.”   
  
Junhoe frowned at her (for show only--he actually kind of felt better after everything) and just as she was about to leave he called out to her.   
  
“Hey, noona? What do you know about integers?”


	7. Jab & Grab

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> First meetings of best friends and new boyfriends aren't supposed to occur on a battlefield, but Jinhwan is protective. Luckily Hanbin isn't easily shaken.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First off--sorry this is a bit delayed. I was away over the weekend and wasn't able to get it finished before I left. As a reminder—no Junhoe in this chapter! This is just Double B & Jinhwan (also features a tiny cameo with Bobby's mom).

Bobby frowned when he read the message from Hanbin.

_guess who just found out who you are??_

Even though when he’d asked, Hanbin had told him that he’d deal with Junhoe’s inevitable explosion towards Bobby’s identity and it wouldn’t get in the way of their dating, Bobby was still worried. Junhoe had been Hanbin’s best friend for almost his entire life. That would be like Bobby dating someone Jinhwan hated. It would never work.

Not that Junhoe had any grounds for hating him, but still. Was Hanbin really okay with them still dating despite Junhoe’s blowup? His phone buzzed with a new message from Hanbin.

_you busy? can you chat for a bit?_

Bobby definitely wanted to chat (he wanted more than a chat, and honestly it was hard to think about Hanbin without remembering the really hot kiss they’d had at the end of their date).

_u wanna come over? since we r not busy now?_

He figured it was a stretch, but any chance he could get to see Hanbin he’d take. He’d settle for a video chat if he couldn’t actually come for a visit.

_yeah send me your address and i’ll come over!! might have to bring my chemistry book with me though cause i need to finish a reading_

Bobby sat up excitedly at the accepted invitation.

_awsum brign ur book an read here!!_

He texted Hanbin his address, and Hanbin replied back right away and said he’d be over soon. Everyone was currently out (Bobby’s parents were visiting family and Jinhwan was having a trumpet lesson) so they even had the house to themselves for a bit.

Bobby started cleaning his room up, which mostly consisted of picking clothes up off the floor and stacking his books and video games neatly. He made his bed too, fixing the covers so it didn’t look sloppy.

He couldn’t believe he was going to have Hanbin at his place already! He thought again about Jiun’s warning of things moving too fast, but he waved it off.

Fifteen minutes after sending the message, Hanbin sent him a text saying that he was outside, and Bobby thought his heart might burst it was beating so fast. He buzzed Hanbin in and took a few deep breaths to calm down on his way to the door. Three minutes later there was a knock on the door and Bobby opened to find Hanbin in the hall, bag slung over his shoulder and wearing a Supreme snapback. Hanbin smiled at him and Bobby had to restrain himself from reaching out and poking his dimples.

_Fuck, Hanbin was so cute!_

“Hey, come in!” Bobby gestured him inside and Hanbin followed, stopping at the door to toe off his sneakers.

“Thanks for the invite,” Hanbin said, “Junhoe kinda bummed me out a bit more than I thought he would, so you’re a nice backup plan.”

Bobby grinned at him. For some reason Hanbin’s teasing joke (and physical presence) took away every concern Bobby had over whether or not things would end because Junhoe was being difficult.

“I’m just a backup plan?” He teased back, and Hanbin grinned at him.

“Is your family home?”

Bobby could feel himself blushing just a bit at the question. “Nope, just us for a bit, but they’ll be back later.”

Hanbin nodded and looked at him with an almost expectant expression, and for a moment all they did was stare at one another. Their stupor broke at the same time, though, and Bobby moved in to Hanbin’s space, reaching out to cup his cheeks as he leaned forward for a kiss.

Hanbin met him there, sliding his arms around Bobby’s back and happily meeting his lips for the kiss. It was soft and sweet and a tiny bit needy, and when they pulled back they both laughed just a bit.

It just felt so natural, Bobby thought, everything about Hanbin felt natural. It was a good feeling.

“Want a tour?”

Hanbin nodded and followed him as he took him through the house. They stopped in the kitchen to get some drinks, and that was when Hanbin made the first connection.

“Why are there so many pictures of Jinhwan on the fridge?” He asked, not bothered but just curious.

“Uh, actually to be honest I kinda forgot to tell you about that.” Bobby felt slightly nervous for a moment.

“About what?” Hanbin asked, looking up from a Polaroid shot of Jinhwan and a woman he assumed was Bobby’s mom--they had the same eyes.

“Jinhwan lives with me,” Bobby said, wishing he’d told Hanbin about it on their date, but it hadn’t really come up in conversation, “his family’s back on Jeju Island, so over the years he’s stayed with us any time he decides to spend a year on the mainland.”

To Bobby’s immense relief, Hanbin didn’t seem bothered by that at all. “That’s awesome! Well at least I hope it is. As much as I love Junhoe, I couldn’t imagine living with him.”  
  
“Ah yeah, it’s good for us! Junhoe sounds like he’s way more work than Jinhwan is.”   
  
Hanbin nodded. “Junhoe’s probably more work than anyone has ever been. But it’s nice that Jinhwan has always had a home with your family. Must make the separation a lot easier. How come he doesn’t just stay on Jeju though?” Hanbin went back to looking at pictures. Bobby’s home felt very cozy, there were family pictures everywhere. Hanbin thought that was a good sign. Family was very important to him, so seeing that Bobby’s family was so close made him happy.   
  
“Originally he came to Seoul the first time for music,” Bobby launched into the explanation, “he was a bit of a child prodigy, he plays the trumpet, and there was a specific instructor his mom wanted him to train with. His grandpa came here with him, since his whole family still lives on the island. I met him at school; saved him from a bully and he told me I was his best friend. It felt so nice to hear that I didn’t bother arguing!”   
  
Hanbin looked back at Bobby while he told the story. “That’s probably the cutest friendship story I think I’ve ever heard?” It really was, and Hanbin didn’t even find it hard to believe. Bobby really seemed like the type of person who would stand up for anyone, and it made Hanbin that much more confident in how well they clicked, since he had the same sort of personality.   
  
Bobby grinned and moved closer to Hanbin, laying a hand on his shoulder while he pointed at a picture. “That’s our first Christmas as friends! He went back to Jeju during the break, but before he went he and his grandpa came over for dinner.”

Hanbin smiled at the picture--Bobby had been such a cute little kid! Jinhwan too was adorable. It was so weird to be seeing a picture of them as little kids, but it was nice. Without thinking about it he looped his arm around Bobby’s waist, pulling him a bit closer.  
  
“The pictures are cute! I like how close your family is, it’s nice to know that.” He looked back at Bobby, smiling when he noticed that Bobby was blushing.   
  
It was hard for Bobby to pay attention to what Hanbin was saying—they were so close and the fact that Hanbin kept getting closer to him whenever possible made Bobby’s heart pound. Would he ever get used to it? It was almost like Hanbin couldn’t help himself from grabbing some part of Bobby (he’d been that way during their entire date on Friday) and while Bobby wasn’t used to it, he liked it.   
  
It was nice to feel wanted.   
  
“Why are you smiling like that?” Hanbin wasn’t used to having someone stare at him the way he kept catching Bobby staring. It made him feel a little self-conscious. When he’d dated Woosung he’d always felt like his eyes had been judging his appearance (which was apparently ridiculous, according to Junhoe, because as far as his best friend was concerned, Woosung hadn’t been anywhere near good looking enough for Hanbin) and while Bobby always had an almost dopey look on his face when he stared at him, Hanbin still couldn’t shake the insecurity.   
  
Bobby pecked his cheek before answering. “Because you’re the cutest person I’ve ever met, and I’m really happy I’m dating you.” God, Hanbin was turning him into such a sappy _dork!_   
  
Hanbin laughed and shoved him away. “Ah, you must not have met many cute people. Anyway show me the rest of your house!”   
  
Bobby picked up his glass of Pepsi and made for the hallway. A second later and Hanbin was back at his side, one hand clutching Bobby’s arm. It made Bobby’s whole body feel warm. After showing him around Bobby finally brought Hanbin to his own bedroom, and he felt nervous when they walked in. Maybe he should have cleaned more? Would Hanbin think he was messy?   
  
But without a comment Hanbin walked into the room and dropped his backpack at the end of the bed, laid his glass on the bedside table, and then flopped face first onto Bobby’s bed. Once again all Bobby could do was stare.   
  
“I like your room!” Hanbin said, half muffled with his face in Bobby’s comforter. Like the entire house, it was comfortable and welcoming. It’s not that Hanbin’s house was cold and uninviting, but something about Bobby’s just gave off the impression that a dozen people could all live here together and be happy. It was hard to describe, but Hanbin felt at home already.   
  
Bobby flopped down next to Hanbin, fighting the urge to lay on top of him instead. “Thanks! Jinhwan and I used to share a room, but thankfully we don’t have to anymore.”   
  
“How come you got your own room?” Hanbin propped himself up on his elbow to look at Bobby.   
  
“My grandparents used to live with us too,” Bobby explained, “this is actually their place, we moved in with them when we came back from the US. But they moved in with my aunt two years ago, after her kids all got married and moved out. We were a little cramped with them, and my aunt was lonely. So it worked out! Everyone still comes over here for holidays, though, so we still end up having to room together during those times.”   
  
“I got that feeling about your place,” Hanbin said, “it feels like a lot of people gather here. It’s very welcoming and warm.”   
  
Bobby looked up to meet Hanbin’s eyes, and he knew Hanbin meant it honestly. It made Bobby feel good. “Thanks! You’re cool with meeting my parents later, right?” Bobby was excited to show Hanbin off to his family.   
  
“Yeah, of course! But that means you’ll have to come over to my place next time to meet my parents.” Hanbin replied, and Bobby grinned.   
  
“And your little sister!” Bobby said, excited about Hanbin’s younger sibling.   
  
“She already knows about you,” Hanbin admitted, “she saw you on my phone today, actually. Asked me who you were.”   
  
“Oh? What did you tell her?” Bobby admittedly had no idea how young was too young to tell kids about gay relationships. Would she even understand?   
  
“I told her you were my friend, and then she asked me if I kiss you.” Hanbin grinned, still amused at her reaction.   
  
Bobby was surprised. “Does she know?”   
  
“Know what?” Hanbin asked, unsure what Bobby meant.   
  
“That you’re gay?”   
  
“Oh, that, yeah. Well as much as a four year old can understand. She’s just at the age where she’s making those personal connections and starting to understand what they mean.”   
  
Bobby nodded, still curious. “How did you tell her?” He’d agonized over telling his older brother (which Jiun had chastised him for, insulted that Bobby had thought he might not support him).   
  
“I just let her ask me when she put it all together. I dated a guy before you, Woosung, and she saw me with him a few times. But she wasn’t really old enough to notice that I was the only guy she ever saw kissing another guy. But then when she saw my picture with you, she guessed what it all meant. Then she just asked me why I kiss boys.”   
  
“What did you tell her? Must have been a difficult conversation.” Bobby couldn’t even begin to imagine how you’d explain it to a kid. They’d probably have a million questions. Hanbin laughed at him though, and Bobby was confused. “Why are you laughing?”   
  
“It wasn’t difficult at all!” Hanbin grinned. “I told her that I kiss boys because I like them, and then told her that when she’s older she can kiss whoever she wants. She said she hopes she kisses girls cause boys are gross.”   
  
Bobby was floored at how simple it had been. “That easy? Your parents didn’t sit her down and have a big talk about it or anything?”   
  
Hanbin shook his head. “Nope, and even if she had asked me in front of them, I don’t think they would have made an ordeal out of it. If you don’t treat it like it’s a big deal, then she won’t treat it like it’s a big deal, and she’ll think it’s normal. I don’t want her to think it’s something that needs a lot of explanation.”   
  
“That makes sense,” Bobby replied, and he was impressed that Hanbin’s family had that outlook, “I wish we’d done that with my little cousins. They’re six and eight, and they treat me like I’m weird because of it. Probably wouldn’t have happened if it had been explained that simply to them.”   
  
“Yeah, kids are pretty easy. I know she’ll probably have more questions as she gets older, so I don’t want her to feel like she can’t ask me, you know?”   
  
Bobby was all smiles again listening to Hanbin talk about his sister. “It sounds like you’re really close to her.”   
  
“I am, she’s my favourite person in the entire world.” Hanbin replied, winking at Bobby. “You’ll have to settle for being number two, well, three, Junhoe would be pissed if I ranked you above him already!”   
  
“You can rank me above him for today at least, can’t you? Since he’s being a jerk?” Bobby teasingly pleaded, wiggling himself closer to Hanbin on the bed.   
  
“Hm, I don’t know, do you think you’ve earned the number two spot?” Hanbin teased him, laying back flat on the bed as Bobby got closer. Hanbin wasn’t submissive by any stretch of the imagination, but there was something about Bobby that made him feel an odd sort of contentment in laying back and letting Bobby make the moves right now. Hanbin really wanted to make out with him, but he wanted Bobby to initiate it.   
  
Bobby was more than happy to initiate, and when Hanbin laid back Bobby took it as the invitation it was. “I think I can convince you,” Bobby said, propping himself up on one arm right at Hanbin’s side, careful eyes on Hanbin’s face. Hanbin _wanted_ him to get close, didn’t he? Bobby was sure it was an invitation, and he tried to go into it full of confidence (even though he was actually a little nervous). He slid over Hanbin, one knee on each side of him, and it was kind of crazy how much the move turned him on.   
  
Bobby couldn’t help but feel slightly embarrassed at how quickly his dick got hard, and he hoped that Hanbin wouldn’t laugh at him (it should be a compliment, right?). He put most of his weight on his forearms, not wanting to crush Hanbin’s chest, leaning down until there was barely any room between them.  
  
Hanbin was in exactly the same predicament as Bobby, wishing he’d worn jeans instead of sweatpants and grateful that Bobby at least couldn’t see it. Whatever. They were young, they were _supposed_ to get turned on by each other, right?! Hanbin felt almost short of breath when Bobby got close, and even though he’d told himself he wouldn’t make any moves at all, he couldn’t help but reach out and loop his arms around Bobby’s back, pulling his body down against his own and the first thing Hanbin felt was Bobby’s erection poking into his hip.   
  
Well, at least he wasn’t alone.  
  
Bobby leaned his face down and brushed his lips over Hanbin’s, an electric pulse shooting through him when Hanbin’s arms wrapped around him tightly. Bobby prodded at Hanbin’s lips with his tongue, trying to be a little gentle but it was so fucking difficult! Hanbin’s lips parted and he met Bobby’s tongue with his own, and they kissed that way for a few minutes, Bobby on top and in control and Hanbin responding eagerly, arms holding Bobby tightly in place.   
  
Bobby pulled back for a breather, flushed and panting. He didn’t even care anymore that his dick was digging into Hanbin’s stomach (because he could feel Hanbin’s against his leg) and he swore he could stay here and stare at Hanbin like this all day long!   
  
“Am I number two yet?” Bobby asked, leaning on one arm to free up the other, laying his palm against Hanbin’s cheek, thumb brushing softly over the skin. Hanbin was all smiles at the contact, dimpled cheeks making him look way too cute as far as Bobby was concerned. There was no way someone as perfect as Hanbin belonged with him. No way!   
  
“Yeah, you are,” Hanbin answered softly, “for today at least! I think I might need daily proof, though.” God, Bobby was _perfect!_ Hanbin couldn’t believe how lucky he’d gotten. Junhoe would come around eventually. For now Hanbin would just focus on how amazing his _boyfriend_ was.   
  
“I’ll give you all the daily proof you want!” Bobby replied, leaning down to kiss Hanbin’s neck this time, emboldened by his response. Hanbin actually _sighed_ out loud at the contact, which went right to Bobby’s dick. He probed at the skin with his tongue, and he must have found a weak spot because suddenly Hanbin was wrapping his legs around Bobby’s back, arching up against him, and Bobby was certain he might come from that alone!   
  
Unfortunately the excitement didn’t last.   
  
“Ah, Hanbin, your guard position needs a little work!”   
  
Bobby immediately shot upright, looking over his shoulder. There, leaning against the doorframe and wearing an irritatingly smug look, stood Jinhwan.   
  
“Oh, don’t let me interrupt you! Things seemed to be heating up and I always wanted to watch a live porn.” Jinhwan grinned and remained in the door, arms crossed casually over his chest.   
  
Bobby reached behind him, grabbing a pillow and throwing it at him. “Fuck off, Jinan!” Bobby wanted to curse him for multiple reasons--not only had he just interrupted them at the _worst_ possible time, but if he’d embarrassed Hanbin--   
  
“Ah, to be young and so easily turned on!” Jinhwan teased further, eyes swooping obviously back and forth between Bobby and Hanbin.   
  
Bobby groaned and finally climbed off of Hanbin, angry glare directed at Jinhwan. “To think, just earlier I told him how nice it was, living with you.”   
  
“That’s what you get for lying to him!” Jinhwan joked, not bothered in the slightest. Maybe it was a little cruel, but in all honesty he kind of wanted to test Hanbin’s personality, and interrupting them mid-makeout was a good start for his experiment.   
  
Hanbin’s heart was racing at the interruption. On one hand--it was cruel, the timing had been terrible! But on the other hand--maybe an interruption had been good. They’d hopped into an intense makeout so _quickly,_ maybe a breather would be good? But he couldn’t help but be nervous. As much as he’d been telling himself all week that Jinhwan was probably a really nice guy and that he’d get along with him whenever he got to meet him, now that he was standing right here in front of him, his expression smug and calculating, Hanbin couldn’t help but feel bristled.   
  
He thought about Junhoe. This must have been how he’d felt right before the fight.   
  
Jinhwan smiled at Hanbin, intentionally making it as intimidating as he could. “Seriously, Hanbin, you should really put that thing away.” Jinhwan winked at him, grinning when Hanbin’s face turned beet red and he drew his knees up to hide the tent in his pants.   
  
Bobby was on his feet in an instant, grabbing Jinhwan by the shoulder and pushing him into the hall. “What the fuck?!” Bobby hissed at him, angry at Jinhwan for the way he’d reacted to Hanbin. So much for a good first impression?   
  
“Calm down,” Jinhwan replied, grinning at his best friend, “I’m just teasing you guys.” Bobby backed off and Jinhwan looked at Hanbin again, pleased that he hadn’t reacted in an angry outburst. First test was a success!   
  
“You have really crappy timing!” Bobby replied, still glaring at Jinhwan.   
  
“Okay, you guys take five minutes to get yourselves together, then come entertain me in the living room!” Jinhwan waved at a still blushing Hanbin before winking at Bobby and heading down the hall to his bedroom.   
  
Bobby took a deep breath before turning back to Hanbin, who was sitting on the edge of the bed.   
  
“Hey, I’m really sorry about that, I don’t know what the fuck his problem is? He’s never done that before.” Bobby walked over to Hanbin, worried about his reaction. Jinhwan was usually really nice when he had guys over, giving him privacy and not doing anything to potentially embarrass him.   
  
“Ah, it’s okay,” Hanbin replied, “better to be interrupted by Jinhwan than your parents, right?”   
  
“Good point.” Bobby stood in front of him, concerned eyes on Hanbin. Was he embarrassed after Jinhwan’s intrusion? He was still blushing.   
  
Hanbin looked up at Bobby, and when he saw how worried Bobby looked it made him smile. “Really, it’s okay!” Hanbin stood up and reached for Bobby’s hands. “Actually maybe it’s good he interrupted when he did.” Hanbin moved in closer, right until their bodies were touching, and Bobby couldn’t stop the shiver from running down his limbs.   
  
“Mm, I guess things did get pretty hot,” Bobby replied, sliding one hand over Hanbin’s hip and settling in the small of his back, “weren’t you supposed to be studying chemistry or something?”   
  
“Something like that,” Hanbin answered, running one of his hands over Bobby’s chest, breath hitching when Bobby’s hand slid down further to cup his ass, “I’m sure we’ll pick that up sometime.”   
  
“I’ll make sure I lock the door.” Bobby said, biting his lip when Hanbin straddled one of his legs. Well, at least the momentary embarrassment of Jinhwan’s interruption didn’t seem to be putting Hanbin off.  
  
“I’ll remind you if you forget.” Hanbin replied, leaning forward to press his lips against Bobby’s. Bobby let go of Hanbin’s other hand, trailing his fingers up Hanbin’s arm until he could slide them around the back of Hanbin’s neck.   
  
Kissing Hanbin felt so _good!_   
  
Just then Bobby’s phone went off, and he pulled back from Hanbin and groaned.   
  
“We’re coming, Jinan!”   
  
Hanbin grinned at Bobby’s yell. “Was that him calling you?” Bobby nodded, and Hanbin laughed.   
  
“Hanbin, before we go out,” Bobby reached for Hanbin’s hands again, “I am really sorry he interrupted. I hope you’re not mad at him?”   
  
Hanbin smiled and shook his head, touched that Bobby seemed to be so concerned. “You forget that Junhoe is my best friend. That was nothing! It was just unexpected, since it was our first time meeting each other.”   
  
Bobby felt relieved at the answer. “Good! I was just worried, since Junhoe took it so badly. Jinan’s actually been really supportive of me dating you, so I was surprised that he acted like that.”   
  
“Probably just testing me.” Hanbin answered, squeezing Bobby’s hands.   
  
“Probably.” Bobby kissed him quickly before leading him out of the room and back down the hall to the living room, where Jinhwan was stretched out on the couch, TV remote in one hand.   
  
“Oh good, you’re here! You missed the opening acts, but Bobby! Your favourite is a guest MC this week!” Jinhwan grinned at Bobby’s annoyed expression.   
  
“Who’s that?” Hanbin asked, curious eyes on Jinhwan.   
  
“Song Minho!” Jinhwan answered, laughing when Bobby glared at him.   
  
“Ah, the good rapper in Winner?” Hanbin asked, his voice teasing.   
  
“Don’t listen to him! I think he’s got a great voice, and his solo track in their album was really good.” Bobby was going to _kill_ Jinhwan! _One time_ he’d said he thought Minho was hot. Once!   
  
“That track was hot, I like it.” Hanbin said reassuringly.   
  
“Bobby thinks Minho’s hot too!” Jinhwan teased.   
  
“Whatever, don’t listen to him, he’s attracted to Nam Taehyun!” Bobby could tease back, though.   
  
“Shh! Don’t take my future husband’s name in vain.” Jinhwan replied with a grin. He wasn’t _that_ into the guy, no more than Bobby was mildly attracted to Minho, but he wasn’t about to let Bobby tease him without playing into it. “I mean look at them! They’re on the screen right now! Taehyun is definitely better looking. What do you think, Hanbin?”   
  
Hanbin met Jinhwan’s gaze, wondering if this was some kind of test. “Honestly I think Jinwoo is the best looking one in that group.” Jinhwan nodded, but said nothing, and Hanbin wondered what he was thinking?   
  
“A safe answer!” Jinhwan finally replied before turning back to the screen. There was some new girl group on now that had debuted recently. He turned it up because he liked the song.   
  
“Ugh, any reason why you turned this shit up?” Bobby asked, sinking down onto the loveseat and pulling Hanbin down next to him.   
  
“I like it!” Jinhwan shot back, turning it up again just to annoy Bobby. “What do you think, Hanbin? It’s not bad, right?”   
  
Hanbin was certain Jinhwan was testing him now. “To be honest, I’m not familiar with it.” He wasn’t.   
  
“Fine, but it’s fun sounding, right?” Jinhwan pressed, curious if Hanbin would just go along with Bobby’s opinion or if he’d form his own.   
  
Hanbin listened to the music for a bit before answering, because if Jinhwan was testing him, then he might as well give him an honest answer.   
  
Bobby looked at Jinhwan and shook his head, trying to silently ask him what he was doing. Jinhwan just smirked at him, and Bobby felt like strangling him.   
  
“Honestly, it actually is kind of fun,” Hanbin answered, “the more I listen to it, the more I like it. It’s not something I’d pick out, but I won’t turn it off.”   
  
Jinhwan’s smirk grew even more obnoxious at Hanbin’s answer, and Bobby rolled his eyes. “You don’t have to humour him, Hanbin!”   
  
“Yes he does!” Jinhwan replied. Hanbin was passing all of his tests so far, at least.   
  
“I don’t mind.” Hanbin answered, smiling at Bobby and reaching out to take his hand. Bobby smiled back at him, pleased that Hanbin didn’t seem intimidated by Jinhwan’s questions.   
  
Jinhwan thought they were cute together. There was a natural chemistry there that was hard to fake, and it made him happy to see it. As cute as Hanbin had looked in the few pictures he’d seen, Jinhwan thought he was infinitely better looking in person. There was a sort of regal look to his face, he looked like he came from royalty. It was kind of romantic, really.   
  
That wouldn’t stop him from putting Hanbin to more personality tests, though, because Jinhwan made a habit of looking out for Bobby. His best friend was a little too nice and naive, and Jinhwan was always worried that someone would take advantage of him when he actually got serious. He didn’t think Hanbin was the type to do that, but better to be sure. People could be deceiving.   
  
“Are you seriously gonna make us watch Inkigayo?” Bobby complained, mostly just for the sake of it.   
  
“Oh I’m sorry, do you have something better to do?” Jinhwan asked, pointedly looking at Hanbin before looking back at Bobby.   
  
“I _was_ doing it, before you interrupted.” Bobby grumbled back.   
  
“Oh I’m so sorry!” Jinhwan apologized, obviously not meaning a word of it. “If you didn’t want to be interrupted you wouldn’t have left your door open. Was that supposed to be an invitation?”   
  
Bobby huffed at the question, still baffled by Jinhwan’s behaviour. Hanbin, however, couldn’t help but grin and laugh at the question. He still wasn’t sure what Jinhwan’s game plan was, but he didn’t find him quite so intimidating anymore. He and Junhoe made a sport out of verbal attacks, after all, so he was used to the playful sort of banter that Jinhwan was making at the moment.   
  
“It was an invitation to join, not an invitation to stand there and mock us,” Hanbin replied, smiling sweetly at Jinhwan.   
  
Jinhwan’s expression was confused for a moment before settling into an appreciative grin. Alright. Hanbin could hold his own apparently! That was a good sign. Not that he wanted Bobby to date someone who would challenge him all the time, but he didn’t want him to date a pushover either. Something in between.   
  
Bobby looked in confusion between Hanbin and Jinhwan. Was this a challenge? Was there some unspoken battle of wills going on? Bobby wasn’t one for that sort of thing, he preferred being honest and upfront and to the point. But maybe he’d let things go a bit longer, give them a chance to feel each other out. As long as neither of them seemed upset, maybe it would be okay.   
  
“So, Hanbin, you’re younger, right?” Jinhwan asked, his tone light and casual, but his smile still a little too sharp. Hanbin nodded, and Jinhwan was amused by the suspicion in his gaze. “Then feel free to call me hyung. As the youngest one here, I think you should do something nice for me!”   
  
Bobby was going to _murder him!_   
  
“Like what, hyung?” Hanbin asked, playing along for fun. He remembered Bobby’s confused comment about how Jinhwan had been supportive of their relationship. If Jinhwan was truly that concerned, he wouldn’t have been supportive all week, would he? He was clearly just playfully trying to feel him out right now.   
  
“Rub my feet!” Jinhwan made the request not just to see how Hanbin would react to it, but also to tease Bobby. He wouldn’t actually accept a foot rub from Hanbin. Not on their first meeting, at least.   
  
“ _Jinan!”_ Bobby yelled, and if he’d had something within reach he’d have thrown it.   
  
Hanbin bit the inside of his cheek to keep from laughing. There was a playful gleam in Jinhwan’s eye that told Hanbin that his assumption was correct. “Ah hyung, but I’m your guest, so shouldn’t I be the one who gets the foot rub?”   
  
“No one is rubbing anyone’s feet!” Bobby interrupted, looking back and forth between the two of them.   
  
Hanbin couldn’t help but laugh, and he cuddled into Bobby. “Does oppa want a foot rub instead?” Hanbin teased, playful smile directed at Bobby.   
  
Jinhwan laughed as well at Hanbin’s question, and that settled it—Hanbin had his approval. He wasn’t about to say it out loud just yet, though.   
  
“Ooh okay, stop talking, I love this Teen Top song!” Jinhwan turned the TV back up, grinning at the annoyed groan he could hear from Bobby. He snuck a glance at Hanbin, pleased to see that he was paying attention to the TV again, though he was still cuddled up against Bobby. Hanbin seemed to be settled comfortably so far, engaging in conversation confidently, but without being aggressive or disrespectful. Jinhwan was liking him more with every second that passed. Bobby had really hit the jackpot with Hanbin!   
  
Bobby was feeling a little out of sorts, honestly, annoyed that Jinhwan was forcing them to watch this idol music show, and annoyed that Jinhwan and Hanbin seemed to take to teasing one another so easily. Which was stupid—shouldn’t that make him happy? They were getting along, or at least he thought they were? It was still a little confusing.   
  
But then Hanbin pressed a quick kiss to his chin and wrapped his arm around him and Bobby melted at the touch. Okay, maybe he was just being grumpy because Jinhwan had interrupted them mid-makeout. That was probably it. He wrapped his own arm around Hanbin and hugged him close and suddenly the song playing on the TV sounded a little bit sweeter to his ears.   
  
Jinhwan left them alone for a bit, content to watch them cuddling in silence. Bobby wasn’t really the type who showed his affection much, but Hanbin seemed to bring it out of him. Jinhwan thought that was important. He wanted to see Bobby with someone who could light his face up in a smile just from a touch, and Bobby was beaming now that Hanbin was nestled up under his arm. This was honestly almost better than watching a movie, because even though they were a little over the top, it didn’t feel cheesy in person. It felt happy and pleasant and romantic.  
  
It wasn’t long before the front door was opening, and Hanbin sat up straighter to get a look. It was a woman, and he recognized her face from the picture on the fridge.

“Jiwon-ah, come and help me!”

Bobby got up and Hanbin watched him, no complaint as he went to help his mother bring in groceries. He could hear Bobby telling his mom that he had a visitor, and she sounded excited when he said it was _the boyfriend_. There was something sweet about being called that in front of Bobby’s family. Hanbin looked across at Jinhwan, who was staring at him again. Hanbin thought they were okay, but something about Jinhwan was still a little confusing and uncertain.

“Alright Jiwon hurry with those bags, I want to meet this new boyfriend of yours!” Bobby’s mom was back, and Hanbin watched as she leaned down to peck Jinhwan on the cheek and ask about his trumpet lesson. Hanbin thought it was nice, the way she treated him like one of her own.

“Ah, you must be Hanbin, then!”

Hanbin stood up when she approached, bowing in her direction and reaching out to shake her offered hand. Bobby had her smile, and Hanbin felt welcome already.

“Yes, it’s nice to meet you, Mrs. Kim.”

“Jiwon wasn’t exaggerating, you are handsome!” She gushed, laying a palm against his cheek. “Such a regal look! My Jiwonie’s little prince, huh?”  
  
“Mom! Don’t embarrass him.” Bobby said, coming up behind her to give her a hug.

“He’s not embarrassed, are you? Must be used to compliments, huh? I hope my son compliments you often?” She teased, and Bobby blushed. Hanbin thought it was cute (if slightly embarrassing) but he’d gladly take it.

“Ah, thank you!” Hanbin bowed again, and she smiled back at him.

“So polite, too! My Jiwon really found himself a nice boy, didn’t you baby?”

Hanbin grinned as he watched Bobby’s mom fuss over him. Bobby accepted it but tried to complain (Hanbin thought it was probably just for show, though).

“Now all we need is for our Jinhwanie to find himself a nice boy too, and then I’ll be a happy mom!”

Jinhwan grinned and looked back at Hanbin. “Know any hot guys you can hook me up with?”

Hanbin grinned back. “I do, the only problem is that he hates you.” Jinhwan looked confused for a moment before realizing that Hanbin was talking about Junhoe.

“Oh is he gay too? No wonder he kept letting me mount him in that first round.”

“Jinan!” Bobby yelled, wary of making any sort of sexual innuendos in front of his mother.

But she just laughed and ruffled Jinhwan’s hair. “Oh, you! Hanbin, will you be staying for dinner? You’re more than welcome! I’m making kimchi soup.”

Hanbin looked briefly at Bobby, who nodded at him hopefully.

“I’d love to stay for dinner, thank you for the invitation!”

“Wonderful! Jiwon, come help me in the kitchen for a bit!” She headed out of the room, and Bobby gave Hanbin one last smile before following her, leaving Hanbin alone with Jinhwan.

“Hanbin, come sit over here.” Jinhwan patted the couch next to him and looked at him expectantly. Hanbin figured it must be time for a lecture, and he obediently did as Jinhwan asked. He wanted to keep things positive between them.

“Alright kid, listen up.” Jinhwan’s tone turned serious. “Bobby has been my best friend for nine years, so I wanted to let you in on something, and I want you to pay attention.”

Hanbin nodded. “I’m listening, hyung.”

“In the entire time that I’ve known him, I’ve honestly never seen him as ridiculous and happy as he’s been since he met you. I don’t know what it is, but he’s absolutely crazy over you. So don’t fuck it up, please, he’d be heartbroken and then I’d have to break your legs.” Jinhwan’s expression and demeanour had softened with the commentary, and Hanbin knew he’d been correct in guessing that Jinhwan had just been testing him.

“Thanks, hyung. I really like him too, so I don’t want to screw anything up.”

Jinhwan smiled at his response. “Good! I know we just met, but I really like you so far, Hanbin. You bring out some good things in Bobby, and you’re fun to have around. I know I’m older than you, but I hope you and I can be friends anyway.”

Hanbin was touched by the request, and he nodded. “Of course, hyung!”

“Good! I know your friend’s giving you grief over dating Bobby, so I don’t want you to feel like you’ve got two people against you.”

Jinhwan’s comment touched Hanbin more deeply than he’d expected, and he stubbornly blinked a tear back. “Thanks, hyung! Junhoe will come around eventually, I know it. He just has a really closed off personality, so he has a hard time with new people. I know he’ll like Bobby when he meets him.” Whether or not he liked Jinhwan would remain to be seen. If Hanbin could get them together and Jinhwan could refrain from teasing him, they might have a chance.

“I’ll try to not be around when that happens.” Jinhwan replied with a grin.

“I’ll work him in slowly!” Hanbin replied. “Can I ask you a question, hyung?”

“Ask away.”

Now that the tension had been settled between them, Hanbin felt as though he could ask Jinhwan anything and get an honest answer. “Did you interrupt us earlier as a test? To see how I’d react?”

Jinhwan grinned and broke into laughter at the question. “Guilty! Usually I don’t give new crushes such a hard time, but Bobby fell for you really hard and I was feeling a little protective. I hope you don’t mind?”

Hanbin shook his head. “Of course not! Actually, I guess I’m kind of happy you did? It’s good to know that you’re looking out for him. It’s good to have friends willing to do that.” While the method would certainly be different, Hanbin found it kind of funny that Junhoe was probably going to do the same thing with Bobby when he eventually met him. They were both protective. Hanbin wondered if they had anything else unexpected in common.

“I leave the room for a minute and you’re already making a move on him?” Bobby returned, sporting a grin as he carried a plate of snacks.

“Just making sure he knows his place, right Hanbin?” Jinhwan jokingly replied, and Hanbin nodded.

“He read me the riot act.”

“Oh did he?” Bobby laughed and put the plate down.

“He took it well, though, so Hanbin’s got my approval!” Jinhwan said, serious eyes on Bobby.

“Ah so I’m officially allowed to date him now?” Bobby teased back, sitting down next to Hanbin.

“It’s official! You may now resume being a disgustingly in love dork, and I promise that if I ever walk by your room and see you two making out again, I’ll quietly close the door and leave you to it.” He winked at Bobby and nudged Hanbin.

“Couldn’t ask for more, right?” Hanbin replied, smiling at Jinhwan before looking back at Bobby.

“We’ll let him think that,” Bobby teased, “I brought cookies mom made, so help yourself! She’ll probably ask you about them at dinner so make sure you eat some.”

“I’ll never turn down a cookie,” Hanbin replied, reaching forward to grab one before settling back against Bobby’s chest.

“So Hanbin, Bobby said that you’re into boxing?” Jinhwan prompted, ready to discuss more personal matters now.

“Yeah, I am! I’ve been training since I was a kid. My dad and I actually train at the same gym together.”

Jinhwan’s expression faltered slightly at the answer, but he was quick to smile again. “That’s awesome, must be nice to train with him! Do you guys ever spar with each other?”

Hanbin nodded, not picking up on Jinhwan’s momentary shift in attitude. “Yeah, we have. Not often, cause he’s bigger than I am, but we’ve done it a few times. He actually knocked me out by accident once.” Both Jinhwan and Bobby laughed at the story. “To be fair, I was really tired, so he just landed a lucky shot.”

“So when do I get to see you in action?” Bobby asked, curious if Hanbin competed or just trained.

“I have a competition coming up in two weeks,” Hanbin answered, “you can come watch me kick some ass there.”

Bobby was excited at the news, and it came out in his voice. “Definitely! I haven’t watched a lot of boxing, so I’m excited to learn more!”

“Can I come too?” Jinhwan asked, curious to see Hanbin fight.

“Sure! It’s only a few hours, I’ll have two fights, one of which will hopefully be a final match. I’ve done pretty good in my last few tournaments.” Hanbin couldn’t wait to fight in front of Bobby. He took boxing very seriously, and he was very good at it. It would be nice to have someone new to impress.

“Nice to see we have another winner in the group!” Jinhwan joked, and at that comment Hanbin’s face blanked.

“What’s wrong?” Bobby asked, confused by the sudden shift.

“Ah, shit, it’s just that… Junhoe’s gonna be there too.”

“Ah, you’re worried about us meeting again?” Jinhwan asked, and Hanbin nodded. “I promise I’ll be nice.”

Hanbin frowned, feeling terrible. Now that he’d made friends with Jinhwan, he really did want him to come. But two weeks was a very short period of time in which to get Junhoe anywhere close to comfortable with Jinhwan there. “Hyung please! There’s a good chance he might be rude to you.”

That just made Jinhwan grin wider. “That’s fine, nothing I can’t handle. Honestly I can’t wait to see him again! I’ll be as polite as possible, I swear.”

“Actually that might just piss him off even more…”

Bobby slid his arm around Hanbin’s shoulders, squeezing him closer. “It’ll be okay, Bin! Maybe I should meet Junhoe first, let him get comfortable with me? Then I can be the mediator when they’re together and you’re fighting?”

Hanbin sighed in resignation. “Ah I guess it’s gonna have to do.”  
  
It was going to be a long two weeks.


	8. Bob & Weave

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hanbin gives Junhoe the bad news, and Junhoe struggles to accept it. Jinhwan has an emotionally charged conversation with his sister about his future.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this update's a bit quicker than usual, but don't get used to it. ;) I'm getting back on my weekly schedule after being away last weekend!
> 
> There's barely any Bobby in this one, actually the main focus is on Junhoe and Jinhwan. You also get a bit of a deeper glimpse into Jinan's last relationship! I promise that will eventually be explained in full, you're getting fragments on purpose. Sorry. ;)
> 
> Also because I know everyone's eager for it—next chapter is when we will finally see the Junhoe/Jinhwan reunion!! Sorry for making you wait so long!

Monday morning saw Junhoe up and ready to make amends with Hanbin. After talking to Yejin about the situation, he was willing to admit that he’d maybe overreacted a bit. He still didn’t like the idea of Hanbin dating Bobby, but whatever. He’d just watch Bobby like a hawk, and if he stepped a single toe out of line, Junhoe would smash his teeth in.  
  
But there had been something weird in the air between them all day, and Junhoe hadn’t know what it was. Hanbin had seemed a little tense, like something was coming that he was dreading, but every time Junhoe had asked him what his problem was, Hanbin had said there was no problem.  
  
The problem presented itself after classes. Hanbin had asked Junhoe to meet him out back, on the bleachers by the soccer field. That in itself wasn’t weird, because they often sat out in the back field after classes, discussing the day’s events.  
  
“So listen, there’s something I need to tell you.” Hanbin had been dreading this conversation all day, especially since Junhoe had apparently made up with him over his disagreement from the weekend (not that Junhoe had actually said it out loud, but Hanbin understood it when Junhoe met him normally in class).  
  
“Fuck, finally! I knew something was up.” There was a smug upturn to Junhoe’s lips as he faced Hanbin.  
  
“You know how I have my boxing tournament coming up in two weeks?” Hanbin started out simple, because who knows, maybe some family thing had come up and Junhoe wouldn’t be able to go anymore?  
  
“Of course, you’re still fighting, right?” Hanbin’s boxing tournaments were always marked in Junhoe’s calendar right away so he’d keep his schedule open.  
  
“Yeah, sure,” Hanbin took a deep breath before getting to the bad news, “well, I don’t think I need to tell you that I invited Bobby, right?”  
  
Junhoe frowned but wasn’t surprised. “Yeah, I figured you would.” Whatever, he could deal with hanging out with Bobby for one afternoon. No big deal.  
  
“Okay, well, he’s coming, and he’s bringing Jinhwan.” There. It was out. He’d said it. Now all he had to do was wait for the inevitable meltdown.  
  
“What?” That had not been what Junhoe had expected to hear. “That midget asshole?” Hanbin couldn’t mean him, could he? Junhoe didn’t know another Jinhwan, and even if he did, there was only one Jinhwan that had anything to do with Bobby.  
  
“Look, I’m sorry, I know the last thing you want to do is see him again--”  
  
“Why the fuck would you invite him?” Junhoe was moving swiftly past surprise and was well on his way to anger now.  
  
“It was an accident!” Hanbin said, pleading to be heard out.  
  
“Accident?! You don’t invite people by accident, Hanbin!”  
  
“It was! I went over to Bobby’s yesterday after your, well, after you left,” Hanbin tried to keep it peaceful, “and I didn’t know, but Jinhwan actually lives with Bobby’s family. So he was there. I told Bobby about the tournament and Jinhwan just asked me if he could come. I said yes before really thinking about it, but it’s not like I could say no, right? He was right there.”  
  
Junhoe’s eyes narrowed in half anger and half disgust. “You absolutely could have said no! You’re dating Bobby, not Jinhwan, you don’t have to worry about being polite to him!”  
  
“Junhoe, come on, can you please think about this from my perspective? Jinhwan is his best friend, I can’t be rude to him!”  
  
“He was rude to me! _Me, your best friend!_ Or did you forget that?” Junhoe couldn’t believe him! Just when he’d forgiven him for falling for Bobby, too!  
  
“Junhoe, seriously, don’t be--”  
  
“Uninvite him.” Junhoe’s tone was brisk, no-nonsense in his demand.  
  
“I can’t uninvite him!” Hanbin replied, wondering if it would even be possible to smooth this out at all.  
  
“You definitely can, and you should! If you don’t uninvite him, maybe I won’t go. Make your pick Hanbin. Jinhwan or me. You can’t have both.”  
  
They were at an impasse—Junhoe staring angrily at Hanbin, and Hanbin wrenched in terrible guilt. It’s not that he wasn’t sympathetic to Junhoe. He understood why he didn’t want to see Jinhwan again, and honestly Hanbin would have much rather taken more time in re-introducing them. But he wasn’t about to rescind an invitation.  
  
“I can’t believe you’re not taking my side!” Junhoe was hurt that Hanbin wasn’t even appearing to contemplate uninviting Jinhwan. It wasn’t fair! He’d had Hanbin first, why should he be the one inconvenienced by this?  
  
“Look, I know that you’re pissed over the way Jinhwan treated you at your fight, I get it. But he’s actually really nice--”  
  
“Oh hell no!” Junhoe hopped up from his spot on the metal bench, grabbing his backpack. “This is bullshit, Hanbin! I wouldn’t do this to you, why do you keep doing it to me?”  
  
“Junhoe, come on! Just once, that’s all I ask--”  
  
“Have fun with your boyfriend and your _new_ best friend, Hanbin! I’m fucking done.” Junhoe couldn’t see anything past the rage he was currently feeling. He didn’t mean to be hurtful to Hanbin, but Jinhwan was an asshole, that much he was certain of! Hanbin didn’t get it, because Hanbin hadn’t been the one facing him. People like Jinhwan were manipulators, they were pros at appealing to a person’s good side to get what they wanted. But Junhoe had seen his true colours, and he wasn’t about to celebrate Jinhwan’s attempt at hacking back into his life.  
  
Hell fucking no.  
  
He was already dealing with having to share Hanbin with Bobby. There was absolutely no way he was going to add Jinhwan into the equation. It didn’t even matter that Jinhwan had beaten him (twice). Okay that was a lie. It mattered. A lot.  
  
Over a week had passed and Junhoe couldn’t get over seeing Jinhwan’s stupid little smirk of victory. His arrogance still left a bad taste in Junhoe’s mouth, still made him feel like garbage under Jinhwan’s heel. No way in hell was he going to willingly breathe the same air as that asshole. Not a chance. Not even for Hanbin.  
  
Hanbin sighed as he watched Junhoe storm off in a huff. That had sadly gone exactly as he’d expected. The only problem was that he didn’t think Junhoe would get over this as easily as he’d gotten over Bobby. What was he supposed to do, though? It would be rude to uninvite Jinhwan (just as rude as it would have been to not invite him in the first place) and Hanbin took pride in being an extremely polite person.  
  
He pulled his phone out and began composing a text to Bobby.  
  
_‘hes pissed hes not gonna come’_  
  
Hanbin remained on the bleachers for a bit, feeling morose and sorry for himself. Was it really so much to ask, for Junhoe to get over himself and try one time to be friendly? It’s not like Hanbin wanted him to be Jinhwan’s new best friend or anything. Just co-exist for one peaceful afternoon.  
  
Was he being selfish? Expecting too much?  
  
_‘u ok babe?????? :(’_  
  
Hanbin looked down at his phone, unable to help but smile at Bobby’s response. Cute.  
  
_‘im fine, just bummed out’_ _  
_  
_‘want me to kikc his ass????’_  
  
Hanbin couldn’t help but laugh at the offer.  
  
_‘hed probably kick your ass but thanks ♥’_  
  
_‘ill get jinan todo it! wont help thm to b friends but maybe ull feel betetr??’_  
  
Hanbin laughed again. There was something about Bobby’s typos that made the whole thing even cuter to Hanbin. Before he could reply back, Bobby had sent him a picture. His lips were pursed as though he were trying to kiss the screen, and Hanbin saved it immediately in his own phone.  
  
Junhoe would get over the whole thing eventually. Hanbin was honestly probably doing him a disservice by continually trying to cater to his (stunted) emotional needs. Junhoe needed to grow up a bit, and maybe it was just time to start that process now.  
  
_‘thx oppa! ;) made me feel better!’_  
  
Hanbin grinned as he sent his message back, and he looked around before taking his own picture, a return kiss that he felt a little dorky taking, but he supposed it was only fair. He sent it off and immediately Bobby flooded his phone with heart eyed emojis, and Hanbin laughed. Bobby’s good humour was infectious, and Hanbin was grateful to him for it.

* * *

  
Junhoe couldn’t stop thinking about Jinhwan during his sparring session, the smug look on his face, the arrogance in his expression and his words! He released his sparring partner from the armbar he’d locked on him, failing to notice the look of irritation on his partner’s face as he rubbed feeling back into his shoulder.  
  
“Man, who pissed you off today?”  
  
Junhoe hadn’t even paid attention to the question. “You ready to go again?”  
  
The other fighter put his hands up and backed off. “Nah man, I still need to recover. You had that armbar locked in a little too tight. Maybe cool off a bit before you hurt someone?”  
  
Junhoe heard the censure but disregarded it (his sparring partner was neither older nor of a higher rank, so Junhoe didn’t _have_ to listen to him). “Sorry.” He wasn’t really sorry, but he gave the apology anyway before heading to the bench to grab his bottle of water.  
  
“Koo, any reason why you’re trying to murder everyone tonight?”  
  
Junhoe looked up from where he’d sat on the bench, because this time the question came from someone who was both older _and_ more experienced than he was. Lee Seungri was still a purple belt like Junhoe, but while Junhoe had just recently been promoted, Seungri was currently training to advance up to a brown belt in the coming months. He’d been the one who’d helped Junhoe in his training to get his purple belt, and he’d ground Junhoe’s face into the mat enough times during sparring sessions to earn himself a place of high respect in Junhoe’s mind.  
  
“I’m sorry, hyung? I didn’t catch that.” That was a lie—he knew exactly what Seungri had said, but he wasn’t quite ready to accept any kind of censure at the moment.  
  
Seungri sat down next to him, arms crossed over his chest. “You’re aggravated tonight, I can see it in the way you’re fighting. You’re not paying attention to your partner, and you nearly hurt Minjae-ah. You know you’re not supposed to fight if you’re not in the right headspace for it.”  
  
Junhoe nodded and bowed his head down, cheeks flushed in shame. He was a fucking _purple belt,_ he was supposed to know better! Seungri was right. “I apologize, hyung.”  
  
“Don’t apologize to me, apologize to Minjae. But you can do that later. First I want you to tell me what’s up your ass.”  
  
Junhoe flushed again at the question. Damn Seungri and his stupid choice of words!! “Nothing, hyung.”  
  
“Oh is that the problem then?” Seungri teased him.  
  
“Hyung!” Junhoe wanted to murder him!  
  
“Calm down, Junhoe-ya, I’m just teasing you! Ever since you got here tonight, you’ve had this look on your face, like you were planning someone’s murder. It’ll probably help you to talk about it.”  
  
Junhoe took a slow and deliberate breath, calming himself down. He knew Seungri was right. He’d come to training directly after talking to Hanbin, and he was still angry about that whole situation. He felt betrayed and let down. Maybe it would be good to get someone else’s take on the whole thing. He was right, after all, so he’d probably feel better if he got validation for his angry feelings.  
  
“Okay, fine, I’ll talk.” He gave Seungri a brief rundown on the situation, starting out with a description of how disrespectful Jinhwan had been to him at the tournament (maybe he’d dressed it up a bit and made Jinhwan sound a bit worse than he’d been, whatever, he was still a jerk) before explaining that his best friend had decided to go and date Jinwhan’s best friend. Seungri listened attentively, his expression remaining neutral through the story. Then Junhoe got to the fresh part, about Hanbin inviting Jinhwan to his boxing tournament.  
  
“I’m not wrong, am I, hyung? Jinhwan’s my enemy, and my best friend decides to invite him out?”  
  
Seungri frowned and shrugged. “You fought him once, Junhoe, you can’t judge a person’s entire personality based on what they’re like on the mat.”  
  
“He was an asshole to me!” Was Seungri serious?!  
  
“Were you an asshole back to him?” Seungri asked, and Junhoe’s face blanked slightly.  
  
“Well, he’s older and he started it! What was I supposed to do, be polite to someone who’s talking shit right to my face?” Junhoe crossed his arms over his chest and sulkingly leaned back against the wall. He couldn’t believe he was the one being lectured right now!  
  
“That’s exactly what you’re supposed to do. Part of your training is to keep a cool head and not rise to the goading of others around you. Treat others the way you want to be treated, and never lower yourself to their level if they mistreat you.”  
  
Junhoe glared at the floor, not at all a fan of Seungri’s advice. All due respect, it was _bullshit._ If someone disrespected him, you could bet your ass that Junhoe would throw it back in their face.  
  
“It’s a small sport, Junhoe-ya, you’re going to see this guy around again. If you hold onto your anger and embarrassment over him beating you, then you’ll never be able to conquer him the next time you meet him. He’ll face you calmly, while you’ll be brimming with anger, which will probably lend you to make a mistake. You can’t hold grudges in jiu jitsu, Junhoe. You have to be a bigger person.”  
  
Junhoe was still seething, not ready to accept Seungri’s advice. He wanted to be mad, and he wanted _someone_ to sympathize with him! Why was everyone taking Jinhwan’s side?!  
  
“Junhoe-ya, don’t you trust Hanbin’s ability to judge character?”  
  
Junhoe didn’t answer, he just frowned at the floor again.  
  
“I suppose that might be a dumb question, since he’s friends with you.” Seungri teased, nudging Junhoe with his elbow.  
  
“Not funny, hyung.” Junhoe moped back, feeling sorry for himself.  
  
“You guys have been friends nearly your entire lives. Trust his judgement. Just because you had one bad experience with Jinhwan, doesn’t mean you’re always going to have a bad experience with him. Life’s too short to stay frosty with everyone.”  
  
“I’m _not_ going to be his friend,” Junhoe replied, voice brimming with aggression.  
  
“No one says you have to be friends with Jinhwan. Just don’t try to be his enemy. The more you react to him, the worse he’ll act with you. Just be curt and polite, don’t rise to any of his jabs. You’ll be fine, it’s only for one afternoon, right?”  
  
Junhoe nodded. “I still don’t think it’s fair! I’ve been there for Hanbin at every tournament he’s competed in! Shouldn’t I come first?”  
  
“Ah, Junhoe, stuff like this happens when you grow up. The people that are important to you find other people who become just as important, and you have to learn to balance your relationships. Hanbin’s relationship with Bobby is new, it’s fresh, and he’s probably going to prioritize it above you for a little while. You just have to accept that.”  
  
“No I don’t,” Junhoe replied, “I wouldn’t do that to him.”  
  
Seungri grinned and put his arm around Junhoe’s shoulder, holding tight when Junhoe tried to squirm away. “You say that now, but that’s because you still prioritize yourself above everyone else. That’ll change when you fall in love.”  
  
Junhoe snorted at the comment. “No it won’t.”  
  
“Ah, you’re probably right! Lord help whoever falls in love with you.” Seungri put him in a loosely held headlock, rapping his knuckles across the top of Junhoe’s head.  
  
“Hyung! Quit it!” Junhoe tried to squirm out again, but Seungri tightened the hold on him.  
  
“Just think about your friendship, Junhoe. Is it really worth being angry at Hanbin over this? He didn’t intentionally set out to upset you. He’s caught in the middle, and you’re being a pretty shitty friend by not even thinking about his side of things.”  
  
Junhoe squirmed harder because he really didn’t want to hear this. _It wasn’t his fault!_ Hanbin chose to date Bobby, knowing full well who he was! Junhoe wasn’t about to feel sorry for making him choose a side.  
  
Seungri loosened the hold then, critical eyes on Junhoe as he rubbed his neck and sat back up. “You feeling less angry, at least?”  
  
Junhoe didn’t want to answer the question (because he _was_ less angry) but there wasn’t anywhere for him to escape to. “Yeah, I am. Thanks, hyung.”  
  
“Good. How about we spar for a while then? Even if you get mad again, you’re not going to best me on the mats!” Seungri stood up and extended a hand down to him, and Junhoe took it.  
  
A little more sparring couldn’t hurt.

* * *

  
Jinhwan looked up at the darkening night sky, the deep blue chasing away the last bits of the sun as it dipped in the distance. He was in the backyard of Bobby’s house, sitting with his sister, Seiyeon. They’d just finished dinner with the family, and Jinhwan had asked her if they could talk for a bit. She was in town for a performance the following night, so if they didn’t chat now, they wouldn’t have a chance at all.  
  
She was sitting next to him on a bench, holding one of his hands in between her own. “How is everything? School still going fine?”  
  
“Everything’s really good,” Jinhwan answered, “my last year isn’t killing me yet.”  
  
Seiyeon smiled and leaned against him. “Ah that’s good! We haven’t been able to talk much lately, I’ve been worrying about you.”  
  
“You don’t have to worry about me, noona.”  
  
“Of course I do, Jinan! You’re my baby, I always worry about you.” She pecked him quickly on the cheek and Jinhwan took it without complaint. In truth he didn’t mind. He was very close to his sister, and every time he left home he missed her terribly.  
  
“How about your personal life? Are you dating anyone yet?” She asked, teasingly prying for information.  
  
Jinhwan grinned and shook his head. “No, I’m not interested in dating anyone right now, actually.”  
  
“What? These are prime dating years, Jinan! You’re gorgeous, are you telling me you don’t want to find yourself a cute boy to spend some time with?”  
  
Jinhwan rolled his eyes at her comments. “How come you’re not dating anyone?”  
  
“Oh don’t throw it back at me! I was dating someone, but he wasn’t quite what I thought, so I broke things off. Little too controlling.”  
  
Jinhwan smiled at her comment, happy to hear that his sister was always willing to stick up for herself. “You’re getting old, noona! Pretty soon you might not find a man.” He teased, though of course he didn’t mean it. His sister was a wonderful woman, and while some people rushed to find a match, she was taking her time, and that made him happy.  
  
“Ah, if a man doesn’t want me just because I’m not young, then he’s not worth having!” She replied, threading her fingers with his. “If I get old and I’m still alone, I’ll just come and live with you! So make sure you find yourself an attractive man, so we can both have someone pretty to look at.”  
  
Jinhwan laughed at her request, feeling happy with their conversation. It was nice to talk with her like this, just the two of them. He knew it wasn’t going to last though, because she probably wasn’t going to respond well to the topic he wanted to discuss with her.  
  
“I’ll make sure to get your approval before I ever settle down with someone, okay?”  
  
She smiled back at him and nodded. “Okay! I’ll be a good judge.” They lapsed into a comfortable silence for a moment, content to sit together and watch the stars twinkle into view. There weren’t nearly as many visible in the city as there were on the island, and Jinhwan missed it almost every night.  
  
“So are we going to talk about whatever it is you wanted to talk to me about?” Seiyeon asked, and Jinhwan took a deep breath before launching into it.  
  
“I’ve been thinking a lot about my future, and about what I want to do. I know you’re not really the biggest fan of my jiu jitsu, but I’m really passionate about working in the sport as a profession.” Okay, there was the set up.  
  
As expected, Seiyeon was floored by his intro.  
  
“What exactly do you mean, as a profession?”  
  
“I want to go study in the US. There’s a school in California--”  
  
“Oh God, Jinhwan, this is about Eric, isn’t it?” Seiyeon shook her head and Jinhwan could already hear the disappointment in her voice.  
  
“It’s not about Eric! It’s about me--”  
  
“You need to let go of him, Jinan. Stop trying to impress someone who lied to you and used you!”  
  
Jinhwan bristled at her comment, pulling away from her slightly, but still holding her hand. “He didn’t use me or lie to me, noona.”  
  
“Oh, so you knew he was engaged, then, the whole time you were together?” Seiyeon turned to look at him, an accusing look on her face.  
  
“No, that’s not what I meant--”  
  
“He is _married_ Jinhwan. You don’t need to do anything to impress him anymore!”  
  
Jinhwan paused to take a deep breath, wishing she hadn’t jumped on this topic immediately. This honestly had nothing to do with his ex. _Nothing._  
  
“I promise, things between us are just professional. He wasn’t just my ex-boyfriend, okay, he was my trainer too--”  
  
“Which just makes it worse! I can’t believe I never told mom about him. It still makes me angry.”  
  
“Seiyeon, would you please drop it?! This isn’t about me trying to impress him! I promise you, I’m completely over him. I wasn’t really that upset about what happened anyway.”  
  
Seiyeon’s expression turned sympathetic, and Jinhwan felt like screaming.  
  
“Jinan, I understand, really. I think it’s our family curse—you, me and mom. We all fell in love with older men who screwed us over. And you, first love and all, it’s tough, I get it--”  
  
“Noona _please,_ I am not still hung up on him!” He just wanted to get back to the actual topic he wanted to discuss, which had _nothing_ to do with Eric.  
  
“Okay, fine, let’s say you are over him,” Seiyeon replied, “California, though? How are you going to get there? Who’s going to pay for it? You know mom won’t. You need money for a plane ticket, you need money for rent, for food! Where is that going to come from?”  
  
Jinhwan frowned and wondered why he’d even bothered. Of course she was going to fight him on it, he’d known that from the beginning. He was just desperate for _someone_ in his family to support him in this. He’d been hoping she’d have been slightly more open to the discussion.  
  
“I just don’t understand why you can’t be happy with music. You have this perfect path laid out for you, guaranteed success! All you have to do is finish your education and keep practicing. You’re pretty much guaranteed a spot back home when you’re ready. All three of us could play together! I thought you wanted that?”  
  
Jinhwan felt guilty at her comments, especially on the topic of joining Jeju’s symphony orchestra. Both his sister and his mother occupied spots on the roster, and Jinhwan was mostly a guaranteed lock to get started in the brass section when he finished training. His family was close with the conductor, after all.  
  
“I do want that,” he answered, and it wasn’t even a lie, “but it’s just not the only thing I want.”  
  
“Most people don’t get the luxury of turning away from a sure thing, you know,” Seiyeon continued, “most people would kill to find a path to a career doing something they _love,_ and here you are, snubbing your nose at it in order to chase after something else. What would you even _do_ as a professional fighter anyway? Do you get paid to fight in those competitions?”  
  
Jinhwan was silent until realizing she was asking him honestly. “Right now, no, but the ones I’m in aren’t professional competitions, no one gets paid to be in them.”  
  
“Are you even good enough to win in a professional fight, if you ever had one?”  
  
Jinhwan couldn’t help but feel offended by her question, and that was evident in his tone of voice. “You’d know exactly how good I am if you ever came to watch me fight.”  
  
“Jinan, don’t start this--”  
  
“Don’t start what? Don’t be upset because you never even bother coming? You’ve never watched me, noona, and it honestly hurts. I want you to be proud of me; I’m a really good fighter!” Jinhwan had been itching to say as much for years, now, but he’d always held it back. But he was feeling hurt over her immediate dismissal of his dream, and for a moment he didn’t care about potentially making her feel guilty.  
  
“Jinan, I am proud of you,” she said, “I just don’t like fighting of any kind.”  
  
“But you’ve never even watched a match, you don’t actually know what it’s like.” Jinhwan couldn’t even look her in the eyes, and he sulkingly stared into the corner of the backyard instead.  
  
“I’m sorry, I don’t know what else I can say about it. But it still remains that I’m worried about whether or not you can support yourself off of jiu jitsu. What if you don’t win any fights? How would you make money?”  
  
Jinhwan felt like ignoring the question in favour of sulking some more, barely able to carry on the conversation because he was feeling too sorry for himself. “I actually really want to be a trainer, I enjoy teaching the kids we get in, I’m good at it.”  
  
“Can you really make money off of that? Enough to provide for yourself?” Seiyeon asked, and Jinhwan wasn’t sure if she was asking honestly, or sarcastically.  
  
“After a while, yes. It wouldn’t be as lucrative as the music, but I don’t care about money, I want to do what makes me happy.”  
  
Seiyeon shook her head again, sighing in frustration. “It’s so easy to say that you don’t care about money. We grew up with money, Jinhwan, you don’t know what it’s like to struggle. You’ve always had a good home, the best of everything.”  
  
Jinhwan bit the inside of his cheek to keep from speaking up. He knew it wouldn’t be easy, he wasn’t stupid!  
  
“Look, you know I love you, honestly Jinhwan you’re the most important person in my life,” Seiyeon turned to face him, her fingers gripping his hand tighter, “but you’re really not being realistic about this. I guess I can’t blame you, mom totally spoiled you.”  
  
“She did not!” Jinhwan couldn’t contain the outburst. He wasn’t some spoiled brat who was used to getting everything he wanted! He’d worked hard for everything he’d accomplished so far.  
  
“She did! I never got to flit between Jeju and Seoul just because I felt like it. I stayed home, even when I was offered positions here! I’m not bitter about it, I understand that she didn’t make as much at the time as she does now. She couldn’t afford to send me off to live with someone in Seoul every year the way she does with you.”  
  
“What does it cost her to let me live with Bobby’s family, other than a plane ticket?” Jinhwan was confused by her statement. She was making it sound like their mom was paying some ridiculous tuition fee to a private school or something!  
  
Seiyeon shot him a look of slight disappointment. “This is exactly what I mean, Jinan! Do you think she sends you to Bobby’s family for free? She doesn’t! She pays them to look after you, to make sure you can still have all the things you’re used to at home. They don’t have the money to provide for you out of their own pocket. But you don’t even realize that!”  
  
Jinhwan felt like a stupid little kid at her comment. Was she speaking the truth? He hadn’t really ever thought about how much money he would have been costing Bobby’s family anyway, even if his mom wasn’t giving them money for him. He’d never thought twice about grocery shopping with Bobby’s mom and always picking out the most expensive brands of food. He’d just expected them to be able to afford everything, and of course Bobby’s mom never would have told him no. He was a guest (practically family at this point, but still a guest).  
  
Seiyeon dropped his hand and instead pulled on his arm, pulling him closer. “I don’t mean to make you feel bad, Jinan, but you’ve led a very privileged life. You’re not used to thinking about things like that. So it just worries me, that you have this plan, but you don’t know what it really entails. I don’t want you to have this rude awakening that you’re not prepared for everything.”  
  
Jinhwan looped his arms around Seiyeon’s back and buried his face into her shoulder, feeling miserable. All he’d wanted from this conversation was a little support, and instead he was coming away from it feeling like an immature kid who didn’t know anything.  
  
“I’m sorry if this harsh, Jinan, but I’m your sister and it’s my responsibility to criticize you when you’re doing something stupid. Maybe it would be a better idea to focus on your music for now. Maybe when you start making your own money, you can think about going off to California to chase your other dreams then.”  
  
Jinhwan didn’t respond to that comment. It hurt too much to think about it, to admit that he wasn’t preparing himself properly for what it really meant to move away. It’s not that he didn’t want to continue with his music. He still had a dream of performing in an orchestra, he wanted to be on stage performing beautiful music.  
  
He just wanted to do it while holding a black belt in jiu jitsu. He wanted to open his own school one day, he wanted a place to display trophies and he wanted a captive audience to share his experiences with, the same way he’d been captivated when he’d started training. Was it really that selfish to ask for both lives?  
  
“Listen, let me know when your next tournament is. If I don’t have a performance that weekend, I’ll fly up and watch you fight.”  
  
Jinhwan sat up in surprise at her offer, blinking back the tears in his eyes. Was he really so desperate for family support that the mere offer of attention had him near tears?  
  
“Will you really?”  
  
Seiyeon smiled and nodded, blinking back her own tears. “I promise. I’m sorry I haven’t supported you in something you love. We’re all just so focused on the music, it’s easy to forget that someone can love two things equally. I might not like your fighting, but I can’t stop you from loving it. So I promise I’ll try and understand it, okay?”  
  
Jinhwan nodded and hugged her again, a little overwhelmed by her words. That was all he wanted. Just the offer, the attempt. He didn’t need her screaming support and waving a banner. He just wanted her to _care,_ wanted her to be proud.


	9. Rope A Dope

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So, they meet again... Will Jinhwan and Junhoe behave like they both promised Hanbin?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nine chapters in and finally they meet again! Let's see how it goes. Don't get used to chapters being this long!! Not enough really happened for me to split this up in two, so instead you got one huge chapter.

“I want to sit with Junhoe oppa!”  
  
Hanbyul bolted from her mother’s side towards Junhoe, who gleefully opened his arms wide for her, scooping her up onto his lap.   
  
“Are you sure you don’t mind?” Hanbin’s mom asked, and Junhoe shook his head.   
  
“Of course not! I have the prettiest girl in all of Seoul sitting with me, what’s not to love?” He wrapped his arms securely around her and she giggled in response. Junhoe loved Hanbin’s little sister, thought she was the cutest thing in the world. Of course it helped that she adored him and was always glued to his side whenever he visited.   
  
Hanbin stood by and watched, amused at the scene. Usually his parents didn’t bring Hanbyul to his boxing competitions, but this time she’d asked to come and they weren’t about to tell her no. They were all fully aware that she might not understand the point of all the punching, but Hanbin’s parents had always believed in exposure first, explanation second. The less you treated something like it was wrong, the quicker acceptance would come, and there was a difference between a controlled environment like a boxing tournament and unnecessary violence on TV.   
  
He was glad they’d brought her, though, because it would be easier to keep Junhoe in a good mood with her around. It had been a trying week leading up to today (after a worse week before that) and Hanbin was just ready for today to be over.   
  
Last weekend he’d pretty much forced Junhoe into meeting Bobby, despite all the protests he’d made. It had gone exactly as expected: Bobby had been polite and Junhoe answered it with stone-faced suspicion.

Hanbin was tired.  
  
Junhoe was nervous.   
  
After meeting Bobby the previous weekend he’d been stewing over it all week and had reached an unnerving conclusion: Bobby seemed okay. Junhoe hated to admit it, but he kind of liked Bobby. He’d been very careful to ensure that neither Bobby nor Hanbin had figured that out, though, because he didn’t want Bobby to get comfortable. Hanbin was Junhoe’s best friend, and he’d be damned if some new boyfriend was going to slack off and treat him poorly. He wanted Bobby to stay on his toes, wanted him to feel like he had to prove himself every time Junhoe met him.   
  
For Hanbin’s sake, of course. Junhoe didn’t share easily, he was aware of that, and it felt weird to share Hanbin with someone he didn’t know. When Hanbin had started dating Woosung, his first boyfriend, Junhoe hadn’t had quite as hard a time as he was having now, but that was because he’d known Woosung first. Even though he’d never thought that Woosung was good enough for Hanbin, he hadn’t exactly been terrible, either, and Junhoe had considered him a friend before he’d hooked up with Hanbin, so he knew he wasn’t just going to screw him over. They’d been able to hang out as three and Junhoe had never felt out of place.   
  
But Bobby was completely unknown, Junhoe hadn’t had weeks to get to know him first. They didn’t even go to the same school, so Junhoe couldn’t watch him during times when Hanbin wasn’t around (he’d made a habit of watching Woosung for the first few weeks, making sure he wasn’t messing around behind Hanbin’s back). What if Bobby was messing around with someone else at his school? What if Hanbin was just a guy on the side? Junhoe had a hard time trusting people he didn’t know. Hanbin trusted very easily, which was half the reason why Junhoe was always so suspicious. Would Hanbin even notice if Bobby was acting suspicious? Junhoe wasn’t convinced he would.   
  
Hanbin liked to tease him about it, said his suspicion would bite him in the ass one day. But that was fine. Better to be safe than sorry (especially if it involved Hanbin getting his hopes up over some asshole).   
  
He wasn’t looking forward to seeing Bobby today, but he was even more worried about Jinhwan. Junhoe didn’t believe Hanbin’s assessment of Jinhwan _at all._ There was no way Jinhwan was as nice as Hanbin had said he was. Jinhwan was obviously a manipulator, a shill who wouldn’t hesitate to hide his true self and choose what he presented.   
  
Junhoe thought Jinhwan was possibly even a bit of a psychopath. He’d know for sure after today.   
  
For now Junhoe was content to sit with Hanbin’s family, flaunting his close relationship with them in Bobby’s face whenever he showed up. He’d been there when Bobby had met Hanbin’s parents (his mom in particular really liked Bobby, mostly because of how polite he was) but Hanbyul was still wary. Of course she was very shy with new people, but still. Her refusal to give Bobby a hug had made Junhoe’s day, and he felt a great solidarity with her.   
  
Hanbin left them momentarily to go and join his team for a pre-tournament discussion (a glorified pep talk, Junhoe hated listening to them) so Junhoe entertained Hanbyul, who was asking him what he knew about birds (which wasn’t much, but he could bullshit his way through a conversation). Her questions ranged from normal _(“how far can a bird fly before it gets tired?”)_ to hilarious _(“do birds keep their food in small refrigerators?”)_ to terrifying _(“what should I do if a bird gets into my room and tries to eat my eyes?”)_ . He didn’t know what had prompted the last question and he wasn’t about to ask and find out.   
  
He loved it, though. Hanbin was the only friend of his with a sibling this young. Talking to a four year old made everything interesting.   
  
Hanbin focused on the words of his trainer, always perfectly attentive regardless of how little he benefitted from any kind of pep talk. He knew what he needed to do, knew how to fight to his advantages. He didn’t need anyone else trying to hype him up, he had his own reasons for competing. But his teammates enjoyed the group talks, and despite not being the oldest, Hanbin was still the most accomplished one on his team here this weekend. There were four of them competing today, but some of their older teammates (who were too old for the age group in the tournament) were coming to cheer them on.   
  
So Hanbin wanted to present a good image and be a good influence on the others. But he also wanted to look around a bit, see if he recognized anyone he’d be fighting. He had a few guys he considered his rivals (in the ring only, out of the ring they were quite friendly with each other) but he’d been too busy dealing with Junhoe to text any of them and ask if they were competing.   
  
When his coach finished his speech Hanbin finally took a look around, and right away he spotted one of those _rivals,_ Lee Chanhyuk. Despite being rather short, Chanhyuk was very quick and very scrappy. They’d fought four times already: two victories for Hanbin, one for Chanhyuk, and one draw. Their verbal sparring matches were every bit as entertaining in Hanbin’s mind. They waved to one another before making threatening hand gestures.   
  
It was on his way back to join his family when Hanbin happened to look over at the entrance to the gym, his eyes falling immediately on his boyfriend. He tried to still the obnoxiously fast beating of his heart, annoyed that his body was betraying him by getting excited so quickly. He was here to fight, not flirt, and he needed to remain focused on the boxing. Still, it was nice to know that Bobby would be here, watching him. He made his way over to where Bobby was standing with Jinhwan, looking around for him.   
  
Bobby gave him a hug when he reached them and Hanbin planted a quick little kiss on his cheek. It seemed to take Bobby by surprise. Hanbin hadn’t really discussed just how out he was in the boxing community, so Bobby had probably assumed he’d want to keep their relationship secret. Hanbin didn’t care who saw, though.   
  
“Right on time,” Hanbin said by way of greeting, keeping one arm looped loosely around Bobby, “just finished my team meeting, so let’s go find my family.”   
  
“Is your little sister here?” Jinhwan asked.   
  
“Yeah, she actually asked to come. She’s never watched me box before, so it should be interesting.”   
  
“Ah well, you’d better win, then!” Jinhwan replied, eyes scanning the room, looking for Hanbin’s family. He spotted Junhoe almost immediately, intrigued when he saw him with a little girl on his lap. That had to be Hanbin’s sister.   
  
“That’s the plan! If I lose today, Bobby might think he’s a bad luck charm.” Hanbin teased his boyfriend, who grinned back at him.   
  
“Just don’t get distracted looking for me, alright? I don’t want to give Junhoe another reason to hate me.” Bobby teased back.   
  
“Ah don’t worry, you’re not _that_ distracting!” At just that moment Junhoe happened to notice them, frowning momentarily before reverting his attention to Hanbyul. Once again Hanbin felt grateful for her presence.   
  
Bobby frowned too when he saw Hanbyul sitting happily on Junhoe’s lap, engaging him in conversation. She’d been super shy when he’d met her the first time, despite his every effort to win her over. Bobby liked little kids, he thought they were adorable and their energy was always invigorating. But Hanbyul had hidden from him the entire time (half behind her mom, and half behind Junhoe) despite even Hanbin trying to coax her out.   
  
He desperately hoped she’d like him more this time.   
  
Hanbin’s heart pounded hard as he approached his family, feeling nervous and wondering if this was really a good idea? Didn’t he have enough to focus on today without worrying about how everyone was going to get along? Junhoe had promised that he’d be nice, as had Jinhwan. Hanbin couldn’t afford to spend any of his time worrying about them.   
  
His mom stood up as they approached, a warm smile on her face as she greeted Bobby.   
  
“It’s good to see you again, Bobby!” She beckoned him forward for a hug, and Bobby gladly hugged her back, touched that she seemed genuinely happy to see him. He’d been extremely nervous on the day that he’d met Hanbin’s parents, and even though they’d both been very nice to him, he was nervous about meeting them again. What if they’d changed their minds about him? What if they thought he wasn’t good enough for their son? Judging by their expressions he’d been worried for nothing.   
  
“It’s good to see you too, Mrs. Kim!” Bobby replied, bowing before turning to greet Hanbin’s father.   
  
“And this must be Jinhwan!” She gave him a quick hug too, which had Jinhwan smiling. It was nice to be welcomed immediately and with such affection.   
  
“It’s nice to meet you!” Jinhwan replied, bowing as well. “I’m looking forward to watching Hanbin fight today. I haven’t watched much boxing before, to be honest.”   
  
“Ah well if you have any questions, please feel free to ask me. Hanbin and I have been boxing together for a long time, haven’t we?” Hanbin’s father offered.   
  
“He told us about the time when you accidentally knocked him out when sparring!” Jinhwan replied with a grin, and the older man laughed.   
  
“Yes, I was just _accidentally_ reminding him who’s the boss!” He joked, and Hanbin shook his head and moved next to his father.   
  
“Do you hear that? Admitting in public that he purposefully kicked my ass?” Hanbin teased as he slid his arms around his dad and hugged him.   
  
“It worked, didn’t it?” The older man replied, “never given us a single problem!” He patted his son on the head before looping an arm around his shoulders.   
  
Jinhwan watched them with a heavy longing in his heart. He hadn’t heard from his own father in over three years. It was always a relief to see his friends have close relationships with their parents, but it hurt. Not that he really wanted to be close to his dad (because he’d never really been a good man, always disappearing and breaking promises) but if his dad had been a different person, maybe. He’d even welcome a step-father, as long as his mom was happy.   
  
Ah well. He was close to Bobby’s father at least, maybe over time he’d be close to Hanbin’s family too? They both seemed like the type of parents who showered their children’s friends with warm affection.   
  
Through all the greetings Junhoe remained quiet, using shy Hanbyul as a convenient excuse to not greet either of them. She currently had her head buried in his chest, but she kept peeking at the newcomers over her shoulder. Junhoe was secretly pleased that she hadn’t greeted Bobby yet.   
  
“Junhoe, aren’t you going to greet your friends?” Mrs. Kim asked, noticing the one quiet member of the group. Hanbin had told her about Junhoe’s reluctance to be friendly with Bobby, citing the match a few weeks ago with Jinhwan. But he’d asked her to act like she didn’t know anything, so that’s exactly what she was going to do. Try to get him to talk.   
  
Junhoe didn’t want to rude in front of her, so he turned towards Bobby, forcing a smile to his face. “Hey Bobby.” Bobby had told Junhoe he could call him hyung when they’d met, but it felt weird on Junhoe’s tongue, and he just couldn’t force it out. He wasn’t going to greet Jinhwan, though. He just couldn’t, not even for Hanbin’s mom.   
  
Jinhwan grinned and leaned in closer to her when she frowned at Junhoe. “We know each other through jiu jitsu,” he began to explain, and at that moment Hanbin turned to look at him, face dropping in alarm as he listened--“I beat him at a tournament a few weeks ago so we’re not exactly friends.”   
  
Jinhwan grinned as he watched Junhoe’s face drop suddenly, and seconds later Junhoe’s cheeks were burning red with barely suppressed rage and he looked away. Jinhwan originally hadn’t meant to do it. He’d promised Bobby (multiple times, actually, he’d promised Hanbin too) that he was going to be nice.   
  
That had all gone out the window the second he’d laid eyes on him, though, the memory of Junhoe’s smug attitude from a few weeks ago changing his mind.   
  
He’d apologize to Hanbin later.   
  
“Ah, losses are just a part of life’s training!” Hanbin’s dad cut in. He didn’t have the full story behind Junhoe and Jinhwan, but it wasn’t difficult to piece it together now. “There’s no shame in losing a fight, as long as you learn something from it.”   
  
“I’ll remember that later if I lose.” Hanbin said, desperate to get the attention off of Junhoe, lest he storm off. He was a little disappointed in Jinhwan for bringing it up, though. He’d promised to be nice.   
  
“Don’t, because it doesn’t apply to you. You better win this whole thing!” His dad teased back.   
  
“Ah, so much pressure!” Hanbin whined, frowning for effect and looking at Bobby.   
  
Bobby’s expression was soft and amused, a little affectionate while he watched Hanbin being teased by his father. He liked Hanbin’s parents a lot, they were young and cool and joked easily.   
  
“Don’t worry, Hanbin-ah! You’ll do well!” Bobby said, shooting him a double thumbs up. Hanbin smiled cutely back at him.   
  
“That’s right! Can’t disappoint the new boyfriend!” His dad teased again, and Hanbin groaned.   
  
“If I do lose, it’s because of the pressure you’re putting on me!” He whined, frowning at his dad’s amused grin.   
  
“It’s okay, Bin-ah,” his dad said, “even if you lose, you’ll still be my favourite son.”   
  
“I’m your only son!” Hanbin replied.   
  
“Of course you are! When you get it right the first time, there’s no need to try again.” His dad replied, squeezing his shoulder. Hanbin couldn’t help but grin at the comment. As much as his father liked to tease him, Hanbin knew that he was very proud of him, for the important things and the little things alike. It was a nice feeling, to never feel like he _needed_ to prove himself to either of his parents.   
  
“Oh I like that,” Bobby cut in, “I’m gonna tell that to my brother!”   
  
“Ah, don’t be inciting sibling rivalries!” Hanbin’s mom added, shaking her head at them.   
  
“Speaking of siblings,” Hanbin spoke up, “Byul-ah! Kim Hanbyul! Why are you hiding? Come and say hello!” Hanbin called to his sister, who was still hiding in Junhoe’s arms. She peeked over her shoulder at him, shy smile on her face, and shook her head.   
  
“Hanbyul, listen to your brother! Don’t you remember meeting Bobby last week? He wants to say hello to you!” Their mother sat down next to Junhoe, laying a hand on her daughter’s head.   
  
Bobby watched them with a smile, hoping she’d at least look him in the eye this time.   
  
After a moment of coaxing Hanbyul finally turned around, though she remained with Junhoe. She looked at Bobby, meeting his eyes for a second before looking away. It was enough to make him smile, though. She spent a bit longer looking at Jinhwan, and even waved shyly at him.   
  
Jinhwan gave her a big smile back, waving at her too. But she hid in Junhoe’s chest again.   
  
“I can’t believe how much your sister looks like you!” Jinhwan exclaimed, because it was striking. Their faces were very similar.   
  
“Ah, don’t insult her!” Hanbin replied with a frown.   
  
“You’re both beautiful!” Mrs. Kim exclaimed, content to leave Hanbyul with Junhoe. She’d warm up to the strangers eventually.   
  
“Yeah, Hanbin! Hanbyul really does look like you, so you can’t call yourself ugly, otherwise you’ll be insulting her too.” Jinhwan teased.   
  
“You’re not even ugly anyway,” Bobby interjected, “so quit it.”   
  
While the three of them continued teasing one another, Junhoe listened in silence, pretending not to pay attention to them but listening intently. Bobby won himself points by continually showering Hanbin with praise, which Junhoe grudgingly granted him. Jinhwan continued to be a pest, even though it seemed like he was the only one who could see it. Hanbin’s mother took to Jinhwan quickly, which irritated Junhoe. Even Hanbin’s dad was joking with Jinhwan, and Junhoe hadn’t missed the fact that Hanbyul had actually waved at him.   
  
The little traitor.   
  
He couldn’t blame her, though. Kids liked people with soft faces, and despite being a huge jerk, Jinhwan did have a friendly face, as much as it pained Junhoe to admit it. He still hated the stupid heart-shaped birthmark, still wanted to punch it off of Jinhwan’s stupid face.   
  
Stupid cute face that looked like a little pixie when he laughed. Junhoe wasn’t sure how he was going to manage making it through the day without snapping at him.   
  
“I want to go say hi to a few people, you guys wanna come?” Hanbin didn’t have a fight scheduled for nearly an hour, so he wanted to go and get his greetings out of the way now.   
  
“Of course!” Bobby was curious about meeting Hanbin’s boxing friends. Hanbin had mentioned a few of them, explained how he had a group of competitors he regularly met up with for dinners every other month. He thought it was a nice gesture.   
  
“Why don’t the four of you go sit together? I’m sure you don’t want to be stuck with us all day.” Hanbin’s mom wanted to give the boys a chance to speak freely, hoping that maybe it would help Junhoe feel a bit more at ease with the other two.   
  
That was the last thing Junhoe wanted to do. Maybe if they kicked Jinhwan to the curb… He didn’t really have a choice, though, because he wasn’t about to let Jinhwan spend the day with Hanbin, poisoning his ear. He gave Hanbyul a hug and a kiss on the cheek before standing up.   
  
He refused to meet Jinhwan’s eyes, intent on ignoring him as much as possible. He walked next to Hanbin as he made his way down the bleachers, heading for the other side of the gym where Chanhyuk was sitting with his team. He liked Chanhyuk, appreciated his quick wit and sarcasm. He was Junhoe’s favourite out of Hanbin’s competitive boxing friends.   
  
But Chanhyuk trained at a club with a rather homophobic owner, and it showed in the behaviour of a lot of his teammates. Junhoe knew that Chanhyuk caught a lot of flak for being friends with Hanbin, but Chanhyuk never let it bother him. Instead he tended to flaunt the friendship in their faces, showing that he wasn’t worried about going against the status quo at his club.   
  
“Hey Chanhyuk-ie, your little fag squad’s here!”   
  
Hanbin grinned at the attempted insult that greeted him. It was always the same old shit, to the point that it was more boring than anything now. “Sorry to interrupt your own circle jerk.” Hanbin replied, smiling brightly at the group.   
  
“What did you just say?” The main instigator, Dong Jaesuk, made as though he were about to stand up, but Chanhyuk shoved him back down.   
  
“Oh would you shut up for once, Jaesuk? Same thing every time, get a new opening line at least.” Chanhyuk brushed past his teammates, bumping fists with Hanbin.   
  
“How are you, loser? What’s up, Junhoe?” He bumped fists with Junhoe as well, who nodded back at him. “Who are these two? Don’t tell me you have a new boyfriend?” Chanhyuk’s eyes flashed briefly over Bobby and Jinhwan, critical and curious.   
  
“I do! Guess which one?” Hanbin asked, flashing a grin at the two in question.   
  
“Gotta be this one,” Chanhyuk pointed at Bobby, “cause you don’t like short guys.”   
  
“Hey! Watch it!” Jinhwan replied, faking insult.   
  
“Ah hyung, don’t mind Chanhyuk! He’s actually shorter than you!” Hanbin relayed, and Jinhwan’s face brightened in a smile.   
  
“I like him already!” Jinhwan replied.   
  
“He’s the same age as me, though, so there’s a chance he may still grow a few inches!” Hanbin couldn’t help but tease them both.   
  
Chanhyuk shook his head. “Nah, I’ve been the same height since I was twelve, I don’t think you’re at risk.”   
  
“Me too.” Jinhwan replied, before Hanbin introduced them both properly. They chatted for another minute before Chanyuk’s coach called him back to the group.   
  
Hanbin couldn’t just leave them without getting a final jab in, though. “Hey Jaesuk, I hope we face each other later.” He’d fought Jaesuk before and couldn’t resist setting him off.   
  
“I hope so too, can’t wait to knock your ass out in front of your little bitch friends.” Jaesuk’s voice dripped with venom.   
  
“You can try!” Hanbin replied with a laugh.   
  
“Didn’t you kick his ass last time you fought, Hanbin?” Junhoe interjected, looking between the two.   
  
“Yeah actually, I think I did!” Hanbin replied, grinning at Junhoe joining in.   
  
“In fact, haven’t you beaten him each time you faced him?” Hanbin nodded, and Junhoe looked back at Jaesuk, grinning when he looked like he was contemplating getting to his feet. “I remember watching that fight! You were generous, actually.” He looked back at Hanbin.   
  
Hanbin shot Junhoe a look of confusion at his comment. “How so?”   
  
“Gave him not one, but _two_ black eyes!” Junhoe replied, looking back at Jaesuk and winking at him. Jaesuk was about to get up but was restrained by a teammate, and Chanhyuk once again told him to shut up, before waving goodbye to the four as they left.   
  
Bobby followed them in silence, intrigued by what he’d just watched. On one hand he’d felt super angry at the guy for talking shit about Hanbin just because he was gay, and had almost stepped in to challenge him. Which was stupid, because Hanbin could obviously handle himself.   
  
But it had been nice to see Junhoe step in, and Bobby wondered how often they probably stuck up for one another? The way they’d jabbed back and forth had seemed so natural, almost like they were practiced at it. It was a little soothing to see. Despite Junhoe’s frosty behaviour towards him so far (and his unfair treatment of Hanbin for the past two weeks) Bobby knew that there had to be a side of Junhoe he had yet to see that kept Hanbin around. He assumed what he’d just watched was probably the tip of their real friendship, and it was nice to know that Junhoe was the type who wouldn’t hesitate to follow Hanbin into a potentially dangerous situation.   
  
Jinhwan had drawn a similar conclusion, though he’d thought that half of Junhoe’s motivation had probably just been in instigating, prodding at Jaesuk’s insecurity. Not that Jinhwan himself could really fault that type of behaviour, because wasn’t that exactly what he’d done to Junhoe himself earlier?   
  
It was refreshing to see that Hanbin was clearly unbothered by the hate, though. Jinhwan didn’t really talk much about his sexuality when it came to jiu jitsu. It’s not that he actively hid it, but he didn’t go around announcing it either, and if someone had insulted him directly to his face like that, he didn’t know if he’d have been as cool about it as Hanbin was.   
  
But then he thought about Hanbin’s parents, and thought they were probably responsible for that attitude. Hanbin didn’t seem to hide anything from them, and they freely teased him without causing hurt feelings. Hanbin seemed to have a natural confidence that wasn’t easily shaken, and as much as Jinhwan liked to act the same, he didn’t feel it. It was just another thing to admire about him.   
  
After greeting another two people Hanbin led them back to the bleachers, sitting a few rows up from the rest of his team. Despite a rocky start to the day, he was in a good mood now and felt a little better about the whole thing. He was oddly grateful to Jaesuk even, because one of the easiest ways to get Junhoe in a good mood was to give him the opportunity to talk shit to someone who truly deserved it.   
  
Hanbin sat down in between Junhoe and Bobby, Jinhwan sat beside Bobby, and Hanbin hoped they could have a breakthrough of some sort before he had his first match. Not that he would be distracted during the fight, but he didn’t want to come back to an uncomfortable atmosphere.   
  
Junhoe was in a much improved mood after their walk around, and he happily struck up conversation with Hanbin about the gossip they’d picked up from their chats with the other fighters. The best news was that Hanbin’s only _serious_ hated rival in the boxing community (the same fighter he’d forced out of his own club two years ago by beating him in a fight) had been called up by the army, so they’d be free of him for two years at least! Even though they never faced each other due to their age gap, Hanbin still often saw him at tournaments, and snide, hateful remarks were always thrown in his face. They didn’t bother him, of course, but it was still irritating.   
  
They settled in to watch the first fight, a contest between Jaesuk and another fighter. Whoever won this would be Hanbin’s opponent later on after he won his first round match. As much as he didn’t want to wish for Jaesuk to win, he really wanted to face him later just to put him in his place for a third time. Consistently beating guys who ran their mouths was one of his favourite things.   
  
They watched the match and Hanbin paid attention to Jaesuk’s style, noting what had improved, and what hadn’t. By the end of the first two minutes, he was confident he could beat him. Jaesuk was a bigger guy and he liked to throw heavier punches, which only meant that he tired himself out more quickly. That was exactly how Hanbin had beaten him the first two times, and he didn’t mind using the same tactics a third time. If a guy didn’t learn after two times, he deserved to get embarrassed.   
  
Jaesuk ended up winning his match by decision (and he was breathing heavily by the end of it), and Hanbin was pleased.   
  
“Ah I can’t believe he won!” Bobby said, unhappy with the result because he remembered Jaesuk’s attitude from earlier. Guys like that didn’t deserve to win, regardless of how good they are.   
  
“No, it’s good that he won!” Hanbin replied, leaning in closer to him. “That means I get to fight him later, and after watching this, I know I’ll win.”   
  
“How are you sure?” Bobby asked, and it’s not that he doubted Hanbin--he just didn’t understand boxing.   
  
“His fighting style hasn’t changed at all,” Hanbin answered, “he’s still a slugger, he always tries to go for knockouts because he’s got powerful arms. All he does is tire himself out. I’m really good at evading punches, so he’ll barely land anything on me.”   
  
“That’s how Hanbin beat him the last two times.” Junhoe added, pleased as well with the result. “Just let him swing his arms around until he’s tired, then pop inside and land a nice uppercut. You knocked him out the first time, didn’t you?”   
  
Hanbin grinned at the memory. “Yeah I did! Beat him on points the second time, which is when he got those black eyes. Kept jabbing him right in the face when he’d try and throw a heavy punch. I love beating guys who never learn.”   
  
Bobby just stared at Hanbin while he and Junhoe described things, a little in awe at how ridiculously hot it was to hear Hanbin talk about boxing. There was a confident, almost smug sound to his voice, and Bobby was captivated by it.   
  
Jinhwan enjoyed listening to them too, and he couldn’t help but notice the almost dumb expression on Bobby’s face as he listened to Hanbin. It was cute. Jinhwan hated to admit it, but it was also kind of cute to listen to Junhoe talk too? He was so genuinely excited about Hanbin’s boxing history that Jinhwan felt like maybe he’d misjudged him a tiny bit. He still thought Junhoe was an arrogant ass who needed to be put in his place, but it really did seem like he truly cared about Hanbin, and he sounded proud of him when he talked about him.   
  
Whatever. You could be an asshole but still be good to your best friend.   
  
They watched two more fights before Hanbin had to head down to prepare for his (one of which had been Chanhyuk beating a much bigger opponent). The fights had provided a good distraction from the potential awkwardness, and Hanbin worried about whether peace would remain in place while he was gone. It was easy to keep Junhoe and Jinhwan separate with he and Bobby in the middle. How would Bobby fare on his own?   
  
“Good luck, Hanbin-ah! I’m looking forward to watching you kick some ass!” Jinhwan said, and he really was excited to see Hanbin fight. The matches so far had been more interesting than he’d expected. He’d tried watching a professional boxing match before, but he’d probably watched a dud. Jiu jitsu was the same way—if you didn’t practice the art yourself, you’d probably find a lot of matches boring because you didn’t understand the psychology and strategy behind the moves.   
  
“Thanks, hyung!” Hanbin smiled back at him before turning to Bobby.   
  
“I know you’re gonna kick this guy’s ass,” Bobby said softly, fingers rubbing lightly over Hanbin’s arm, “try not to be too hot, okay? I don’t know if I’ll be able to handle it.”   
  
Hanbin grinned and leaned forward, quickly pressing a kiss to Bobby’s cheek. “I’ll try to look as ugly as possible, just for you!” Bobby grinned back and squeezed his arm before leaning forward to kiss Hanbin’s cheek in response, feeling bold enough for it. Hanbin smiled at the gesture before turning to face Junhoe.   
  
“Kill this dude, bro!” Junhoe said, full of confidence that his best friend would get the win.   
  
“You know I will!” Hanbin replied, bumping fists before heading over to see his family (where he got a kiss from his sister) before going down to meet with his coach.   
  
When Hanbin left, there was a gap in between Junhoe and Bobby, and just as Bobby contemplated whether or not he should move over, he was surprised to see Junhoe slide closer to him. That was unexpected.   
  
“So, Junhoe,” Bobby felt emboldened by Junhoe’s shuffling over and wanted to open conversation before the silence got awkward, “has Hanbin fought this guy before?” Maybe it would be best if he appealed to Junhoe’s knowledge and asked him questions. Wasn’t that a good way to get someone to like you? Asking them for help?   
  
Junhoe hadn’t even realized he’d moved over, used to doing that when he was here watching with Hanbin’s parents. He took a moment to think about Bobby’s question, wanting to give an accurate answer.   
  
“He definitely has, I think they’ve fought each other twice before, if I remember correctly? Hanbin won both times.” In fact there weren’t many people here that Hanbin had ever lost to. Hanbin had a very impressive record, rarely ever finishing at a tournament out of the top two. Junhoe thought that if Hanbin wanted to, he probably could have trained up even more and gone for a shot at making the Olympic boxing team. But boxing wasn’t something Hanbin wanted to take that seriously. His first love was science, and he wasn’t willing to give up on his education for sports.   
  
Junhoe would drop school in a heartbeat if he could fight professionally.   
  
“Ah that’s good! I wish I knew more about boxing. Sorry in advance if I ask you any stupid questions. I just don’t want to be that annoying guy who says something when he doesn’t know what he’s talking about.” It had taken Bobby a few years to really understand jiu jitsu, despite watching almost every one of Jinhwan’s fights. He didn’t really have a brain for combat sports. Give him a tactical team game that involved scoring goals and he was fine. Subjective scoring in fights, though? Not his strength.   
  
“It’s not a problem, hyung, I’ve been watching Hanbin’s fights for years, so I know boxing inside and out, pretty much.” Junhoe didn’t realize his slip-up until it was too late. _Shit!_ Had Bobby noticed that he’d called him hyung? He tried to look at him out of the corner of his eye, and fuck! Bobby had a huge smile on his face. He’d noticed. _Damn it._ So much for remaining aloof and keeping Bobby on his toes.   
  
“So, Junhoe, how long have you and Hanbin been friends?” Jinhwan asked, opting for a friendly conversation opener.   
  
“Practically forever,” Junhoe answered, unsure why Jinhwan was asking, but figuring it was safe enough to answer, “since we were about five.”   
  
“Did you meet at school?” Jinhwan knew that Bobby was probably giving him a warning look right now, confused about his sudden decision to play nice. He didn’t look at him, though, didn’t trust himself not to laugh at Bobby’s expression.   
  
“Yep.” Junhoe certainly hoped Jinhwan wasn’t expecting him to ask questions back, because he had no interest in hearing about the beginnings of Jinhwan and Bobby’s friendship, especially not after slipping up with Bobby. He had to stay somewhat aloof.   
  
“How come he’s into boxing and you do jiu jitsu?” Jinhwan asked.   
  
Junhoe took a moment before answering, still suspicious of Jinhwan’s intentions. Why was he pretending to be friendly? There was nothing to gain without Hanbin here.   
  
“He was always into boxing because of his dad. I actually tried it once but didn’t like it.” Junhoe answered honestly.   
  
“What was different about boxing that you didn’t like?” Bobby asked, happy they were managing to have a decent conversation.   
  
Junhoe shrugged, deciding he might as well continue with his honesty. “Didn’t like getting hit in the face.”   
  
“Does Hanbin like taking it in the face?” Jinhwan teasingly asked Bobby, who looked at him in surprise.   
  
“Jinan!” He couldn’t believe him! What an inappropriate joke!   
  
“Oh calm down! I’m just teasing you.” Jinhwan grinned, amused at how scandalized Bobby’s expression was.   
  
“Don’t make those kinds of jokes about Hanbin!” Bobby didn’t really mind them (okay they were a toe over the line, but he was used to Jinhwan saying things like that) but he really didn’t want him to say it in front of Junhoe. They’d been co-existing so peacefully! He didn’t want Junhoe to snap on Jinhwan for an indecent joke.   
  
Jinhwan grinned and waved his concern off. “Oh it’s fine, I bet Hanbin would have laughed!”   
  
Junhoe’s face crumpled in a disgruntled frown. Hanbin absolutely _would_ laugh at that joke—hell Hanbin would _make_ that joke! He didn’t like the idea that Jinhwan seemed to have Hanbin figured out already.   
  
“Well, at least we know Junhoe doesn’t like taking it in the face. Or getting hit in the face. Which is a shame.” Jinhwan said, turning his gaze on Junhoe.   
  
“Oh is it? And why is that?” Junhoe met Jinhwan’s stare, looking unimpressed.   
  
“I think you could benefit from getting hit in the face once or twice.” Jinhwan replied, smiling sweetly at him.   
  
“I’d benefit more from hitting someone in the face, once or twice.” Junhoe replied, annoyed gaze never leaving Jinhwan.   
  
“Oh, it sounds like there’s someone on your mind already?” Jinhwan asked, feeling mischievous. He was surprised Bobby wasn’t trying to interrupt this yet.   
  
Junhoe nodded. “Yeah, I can think of a guy.”   
  
“Do I know him?” Jinhwan asked.   
  
Junhoe laughed before answering sarcastically. “Yeah, actually I think you’re his biggest fan.”   
  
Jinhwan knew that Junhoe meant him, but he decided to play with him for fun. “Why do you want to punch G Dragon in the face?” Junhoe’s expression turned confused, and Jinhwan fought to keep from laughing. “He’s a national icon, I don’t think that would be a good idea!”   
  
“I wasn’t talking about G Dragon?!” Junhoe replied, annoyed that Jinhwan was trying to derail him. “I meant you!”   
  
Jinhwan grinned and waved his answer off. “Eh, you’re not the first person to tell me that, probably won’t be the last.”   
  
Junhoe shook his head in disgust. “Maybe you should take a hint.”   
  
Bobby sighed in between them, annoyed that they’d both ruined their moment of peace. He was mostly annoyed that it was continually Jinhwan who was trying to instigate, though. He was supposed to be the one behaving! Bobby looked at him, annoyed to find Jinhwan grinning.   
  
“Are you hearing this guy, Bobby? Threatening me in public! Me, his elder!” Jinhwan could see the anger and disappointment in Bobby’s eyes, but he couldn’t help himself. It was hard to be nice when Junhoe was so easy to rile up!   
  
“Yeah and you deserve every bit of it!” Bobby countered, quickly taking Junhoe’s side. It wasn’t just that Jinhwan really was in the wrong, but Bobby wanted Junhoe to know that he didn’t approve of it. Bobby thought it was important for him to make friends with Junhoe. If he’d known Jinhwan was going to make things worse, Bobby would have uninvited Jinhwan himself!   
  
Jinhwan knew he’d have to do some major damage control after today, but he was good at that. Temptation was hard to resist at the moment. “Well he can threaten me all he wants,” Jinhwan said, leaning forward in order to look at Junhoe, “I’ve already proved I can take him. Twice.”   
  
Junhoe bit back the angry retort he wanted to make. At least Jinhwan was proving him right today—he really was an asshole. It felt weird to hear Bobby sticking up for him. Uncomfortable, actually. He didn’t want to feel like he owed anything to Bobby, and going against your best friend for the guy who doesn’t really like you was grounds for _“owing him”_ .  
  
“So, Junhoe,” Bobby was desperate to try and get over the hump, to distract from Jinhwan’s verbal jab, “when did you start training in jiu jitsu?”   
  
Junhoe was tempted to ignore Bobby, and he would have, had it not been for Hanbin. He looked down at where Hanbin was standing, waiting to get his gloves put on. Hanbin flashed him a quick thumbs up, and the last thing Junhoe wanted to do was distract him. He repeated the gesture back before turning to face Bobby.   
  
Time to be the bigger person and accept Bobby’s peace offering. He’d just ignore Jinhwan from now on.   
  
“I started when I was ten. It was after I tried out boxing, actually. Hanbin fought in his first fight and I got jealous, wanted to compete too. I was actually supposed to go to a karate class, but my mom brought me to a jiu jitsu one by mistake. I really enjoyed it, though, so I stuck with it.” He hoped Jinhwan would have the decency to keep out of the conversation, at least, and that Bobby would recognize how meaningful it was for Junhoe to actually talk to him. He was doing it all for Hanbin.   
  
“Ah, what a lucky mistake! Did Hanbin ever try jiu jitsu with you?” Bobby was grateful that Junhoe had answered his question. He’d thought for a second that Junhoe was going to ignore him instead.   
  
“Yeah, he came to a few classes. He liked it, but boxing is more his thing. He’s better at hitting than grappling.”   
  
“You guys make a dangerous pair, then!” Bobby joked, “anyone ever messes with you, you hold them and Hanbin hits them!”   
  
Junhoe couldn’t help but grin at the slightly cheesy attempt, and he fucking _hated it._ Hanbin had totally been right.   
  
He actually liked Bobby.   
  
_Fuck._   
  
“Yeah, to tell you the truth we do have a reputation around school. A lot of guys tried to give us shit when we both came out, but anyone who ever tried anything got their asses handed to them. So guys stopped trying real quick.” Junhoe wasn’t just exaggerating. Hanbin had come out first, and on that day two of their classmates had tried to jump him from behind. Junhoe had stepped in, and ten seconds later both of the aggressors were sporting busted lips and bloody noses.   
  
When a friend of the two had asked Junhoe why he’d stick up for a gay guy, Junhoe had made the split second decision to out himself as well. Another fight the following day had everyone keeping their distance, and keeping their mouths shut. Their short bout of being social pariahs was over quickly, and weeks later they both had more friends than they’d had before outing themselves.   
  
Coming out stories rarely ever ended so well, and Junhoe was willing to offer monetary guarantee that things wouldn’t have gone so smoothly if they hadn’t done it together.   
  
Bobby couldn’t help but smile at the story, because there it was—the deep bond of friendship that was hiding beneath Junhoe’s prickly exterior. Clearly they’d been through a lot together, and he understood Junhoe’s protectiveness over Hanbin a little better too.   
  
“Alright, enough sappy stories! Hanbin’s fighting, finally!” Junhoe focused his attention on Hanbin again, because he was almost regretting telling Bobby about his history with Hanbin. It was a little too much, at least this early. He had to keep reminding himself that just because he’d admitted to himself that he liked Bobby, it didn’t mean that Bobby had to know.   
  
Bobby looked down at the floor too, watching as Hanbin took his spot for the fight. Bobby couldn’t help but feel a little elated that Junhoe had actually had a full conversation with him. It was huge. Almost like Junhoe was using Bobby as a way to deflect his attention off of Jinhwan. Maybe it wasn’t such a bad thing that Jinhwan had been a jerk after all. If he’d been super polite, maybe Junhoe would still be stuck in his shell? There was no way to know for sure.   
  
Jinhwan focused on the fight too, but he was also thinking about Junhoe’s story. He was surprised to hear that Junhoe had only come out as a reflexive move to defend Hanbin. That sort of behaviour went against his impression of him. He could have just defended Hanbin, said he’d stick up for his best friend through anything. But that apparently hadn’t been enough for him. He’d actually wanted to share in Hanbin’s burden instead, wanted to go through hell together instead of separately.   
  
It was admirable, and Jinhwan wasn’t happy to hear it. Well, he _was,_ because it meant that Junhoe was probably a better guy than he had him pegged as, and Jinhwan didn’t want Hanbin to be saddled with a best friend who really had a trash personality. But Jinhwan hated being wrong about people, and while he knew that his initial impression on Junhoe was based on a real part of his personality, he knew there might also be a good reason for that side to have come out. People were different on the mat during fights, bravado and insecurity making them act in a way that wasn’t how they truly were.   
  
He was living proof of that, after all.   
  
Maybe he’d completely misjudged Junhoe? And maybe Junhoe was vehemently against him as a result of Jinhwan’s own misconceptions?   
  
Or he could be giving him way too much credit, and Junhoe was just fabricating stories when Hanbin wasn’t here. No way to know, and Jinhwan didn’t like to ignore his gut feelings.   
  
Right before the fight was about to start a few guys took seats near the three of them. Right away two of them started talking shit.   
  
“Hey isn’t this the gay guy? Can’t believe he’s still fighting.”   
  
“Yeah man, fucking disgusting. I don’t know why they don’t ban him. Shouldn’t have to fight fags.”   
  
Junhoe turned to face them, scanning them over to see if he knew them. They looked vaguely familiar, but not so much that he recognized them by name. He stared until one of them looked at him.   
  
“Fuck you lookin’ at, blondie?” One of them asked, drawing the attention of his friend.   
  
Junhoe stared him right back in the eyes. “Two assholes that need to get fucked.”   
  
“You lookin’ for a fight?” One of them threatened, and Junhoe laughed in response.   
  
“Yeah if you see someone worth fighting, let me know.” He focused his attention back on Hanbin, who was just touching gloves with his opponent, about to start the match. The guys muttered to themselves but didn’t say anything further, which suited Junhoe just fine. He didn’t want a distraction during Hanbin’s match.   
  
Bobby was once again feeling bothered, wondering if this sort of thing happened at Hanbin’s tournaments all the time? He’d never encountered anyone who’d ever brought up Jinhwan’s sexuality at his events. Was boxing that much more homophobic of a crowd? Or was Hanbin just that much more out with his sexuality than Jinhwan?  
  
He’d decided to let Junhoe handle it, though, since Bobby was out of his place here. Junhoe would know the appropriate course of action. For now Bobby focused on Hanbin, which wasn’t difficult. Bobby hadn’t known what to expect in regards to his fighting, but Hanbin was _fast_ in his movements, weaving around his opponent’s fists, getting off some lightning quick jabs to the guys’ head.   
  
It was hot. Hanbin was really good, and it showed! Even though Bobby didn’t know anything about boxing, he still thought Hanbin outclassed his opponent. He wanted to ask Junhoe for his opinion, but he was also wary of inviting comments from the pair sitting by them, so he kept his questions to himself for now, waiting for the end of the first two minutes.   
  
When the bell rang Bobby turned to Junhoe, who had an impressed smirk on his face.   
  
“I love being best friends with the best fighter at this tournament!” Junhoe said, and Bobby grinned at him, his question about just how impressive Hanbin had been answered with the statement.   
  
“He was really good, wasn’t he?” Bobby replied, and he felt proud when he looked back down at Hanbin.   
  
“That was a perfect first round! He’s clearly on a different level from this guy, this is a mismatched fight.” Junhoe was itching to look back at the other two, to rub it in their faces over how good Hanbin was. Maybe he would, if he was by himself. But he didn’t want to draw Bobby into something potentially troubling while Hanbin still had more fighting left.   
  
“He’s really fast in there,” Bobby ventured, trying to find a good way to ask questions that wouldn’t make it sound like he didn’t know what he was talking about.   
  
“Damn right he is, he’s dancing circles around this guy, it’s embarrassing. He’s always been really fast in the ring, doesn’t get tired as quickly as most of them either. Which is actually really funny, because it’s not like he does that much cardio training? He’s just naturally got a lot of endurance. I keep telling him he should up his training, he could probably make the Olympic team.”   
  
Bobby looked at Junhoe in surprise. “He’s that good, you think?” While Hanbin was obviously good, Bobby didn’t realize that he was quite _that_ good. Junhoe didn’t seem like the type to exaggerate about things like this.   
  
“Definitely, his coach bugs him about it all the time too. Some people are made for certain sports, he’s made for boxing. But he’s more set on studying to get into a top university, and he says that committing to boxing will take time away from trying to have a life outside of school. Which, okay, he’s got a point there. But still, school isn’t going anywhere. His parents would support him if he took a break for boxing, I know they would.”   
  
Jinhwan listened in silence, curious about Hanbin’s situation regarding the sport. He kind of felt a bit of a kinship with him over it, was reminded him of his own struggles, trying to reconcile what everyone told him he should be doing, versus doing what he wanted to do instead.   
  
They watched the second round, which was a mirror of the first. When the bell rang they celebrated, standing up and cheering, and Junhoe barely noticed the other two guys leaving. As much as he wanted to rub Hanbin’s victory in their faces, sometimes it was just as good to see guys try to slink away unnoticed.   
  
They were interrupted again as they sat down, another unfamiliar voice speaking up.   
  
“Hey, I’m sorry to bother you, but I just had a quick question!”   
  
Junhoe turned around to face the intruder, his eyes falling on a guy who looked to be around his age, wearing glasses that made him look a little nerdy. Why was this guy talking to him?   
  
“What?”   
  
The stranger smiled at him, obviously trying his best to appear confident. “I couldn’t help but overhear you earlier, talking about your friend who just won--”   
  
“What about it?” Junhoe asked, annoyed glare settling over the guy. Was he just here to talk shit? Couldn’t people just leave them all alone?   
  
“Were you serious? Before, I heard guys mention that your friend who won, that he’s gay--”   
  
Junhoe interrupted him, irritated already. There was always someone looking to start shit! “Yeah, he’s gay. I’m gay too.” He pointed at Bobby and Jinhwan. “They’re also gay. You got a fucking problem with it?”   
  
The stranger shook his head, eyes wide with alarm. “No! No, not at all! It’s just that, ah, I started this whole thing wrong!” He paused for a second, composing himself. “I just moved back to Korea after studying abroad in the US for a few years, and I’m looking for a boxing gym to join, because I trained back in America. Your friend, well, he’s really amazing in the ring! So he must train at a good gym. And I just thought, if he’s gay, well, I’m actually, I’m gay too, so…”   
  
Junhoe rolled his eyes at the guy, annoyed at the interruption. What guarantee was there that this guy wasn’t lying? Did someone set him up to come over and bother them?   
  
It was Jinhwan who extended the offer of friendship. “Have a seat, you’re being awkward standing up!” He smiled and gestured at the bench in front of them, and the kid sat down. “I’m Jinhwan, what’s your name?”   
  
The newcomer smiled back at him. “Ah, thanks! I’m Kim Donghyuk.”   
  
“Well, Donghyuk, this is Bobby, and the unfriendly one is Junhoe. You’ll have to forgive him, as I’m sure you overheard, he’s used to people talking shit about Hanbin, who’s the guy that was fighting. He probably thought you were coming over to cause trouble.” Jinhwan understood Junhoe’s suspicion, but he had a good feeling about this kid. He seemed genuine.   
  
“Ah, thank you! I really didn’t mean to be a bother, but I’m still trying to figure out which gym to join. Like I said, he was, wow, he was really impressive!” Donghyuk blushed a little as he spoke, grateful to Jinhwan for being friendly.   
  
“He was, wasn’t he?” Jinhwan replied, amused at Donghyuk’s attitude. He was a cute little dork. “Don’t be too impressed though, you might make his boyfriend jealous.” Jinhwan motioned to Bobby, who shook his head.   
  
“Ah, no, don’t misunderstand!” Donghyuk was quick to say. “Like I said, I need somewhere new to train, and he’s really amazing. It’s not really easy being gay in boxing, so, I just thought it would be easier to find a gym with someone like me.”   
  
Bobby was quick to offer his hand next when Donghyuk clarified his interest in Hanbin. He hadn’t been worried about him anyway! Just confused. Donghyuk clearly wasn’t a threat. “I’m sure he’d be happy to introduce you to the owner.” Bobby offered, wanting to make amends for the slightly frosty greeting they’d given him.   
  
“Ah, really? I don’t want to impose, if you can give me the club information, I can go on my own. I don’t want to be a bother.” Donghyuk smiled back, and Jinhwan wished he had the information to give him. He looked expectantly at Junhoe, who probably had all the details. Would he actually be nice and give them, though?   
  
Junhoe was aware of Jinhwan’s eyes on him, and he was debating his options. Did he feign ignorance and hope the kid would go away? Or did he prove Jinhwan wrong and give him the information he wanted?   
  
“It won’t be a bother, really, Hanbin will be happy to talk to you.” He could just give the kid the info and have him leave, but he honestly thought Hanbin would probably prefer to take him down and introduce him himself. That’s what Junhoe would do, if he was met with the same situation. The longer this kid stuck around, the less Junhoe thought he was an impostor, and he understood exactly how unwelcoming the community could be towards gay guys. Best to stick together.   
  
“Who am I talking to?” Just then Hanbin rejoined them, leaning over onto Bobby’s shoulders, friendly smile in place as he locked eyes on Donghyuk.   
  
“You’re back, congrats on the victory, bro! This is Donghyuk, just moved here from the US and wants to join your gym. He’s gay too.” Junhoe conducted the verbal hand-off, giving Hanbin all the pertinent information.   
  
Hanbin grinned at Junhoe’s introduction. “It’s nice to meet you!” Hanbin replied, reaching out with a handshake. Donghyuk took it, and within a minute Hanbin was leading Donghyuk back down the bleachers, towards his coach.   
  
A silence settled over the other three as they waited for him to come back. Things were in a weird state of peace at the moment, a position none of them had expected to be in.  There was still the possibility that as the day wore on, patience would wear thin and tensions would snap. But for now all three of them were feeling positive. Junhoe liked Bobby, Jinhwan didn’t think Junhoe was quite so bad anymore, and Bobby was perched carefully in the middle, hoping that Hanbin’s victory would keep up the good spirits for the rest of the day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, we'll see Donghyuk again. ;)


	10. The Check Hook

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With a little unexpected help from Hanbyul, will Jinhwan and Junhoe finally get over their mutual dislike of one another?

“Junhoe, come buy me a drink!” Hanbin lightly punched Junhoe in the shoulder, grinning when Junhoe glared at him.  
  
“Ugh, seriously? Your boyfriend is here, but you’re still making _me_ run your errands? How annoying.” Despite the protest Junhoe stood up, watching as Hanbin leaned down to peck a quick kiss on Bobby’s cheek before leading the way down the bleachers. Junhoe didn’t think twice about going with him, they usually did everything for each other at their tournaments anyway. It would feel weird to have his waterboy duty taken away just because Bobby was here. They didn’t speak on their way to the concession line, but once they got there Junhoe was surprised when Hanbin suddenly enveloped him from behind in a hug.  
  
“Bro, what the fuck? Did you take a nasty shot in the head or something?” Junhoe complained. He didn’t really mind, of course. Actually he was secretly happy for the hug. He felt like he’d earned it so far today.  
  
“What, I can’t give my best bro a hug?” Hanbin teased, tightening his arms around him.  
  
“Ugh, Hanbin, you’re so gay.”  
  
They approached the counter and Junhoe made his order, not bothering to ask Hanbin what he wanted. He already knew. Hanbin kept quiet until Junhoe paid and handed him his Gatorade. But instead of heading back into the gym, Hanbin grabbed Junhoe’s arm and pulled him off to the side. Junhoe looked at him in confusion, curious about what he wanted.  
  
Hanbin hoped this wasn’t going to backfire on him, but Junhoe seemed like he was in a decent mood. “I just wanted to say thank you.”  
  
Junhoe’s look of confusion only deepened at the remark. “For what? My stunning good looks?”  
  
Hanbin grinned and leaned against the wall. “No, for being nice to Bobby, and for not rising to Jinhwan’s prodding. I know you didn’t want to spend the day with them, but, I appreciate that you’re being good about it.” This could go one of two ways—Junhoe would either appreciate the thanks but brush it off, or he’d use it as an opportunity to launch into a tirade about how much he hated hanging out with them, how much he disliked Bobby and thought Hanbin could do better, and how regardless—Hanbin owed him huge for this terrible day.  
  
What Hanbin got was a little of the first option, but with added commentary that he didn’t expect.  
  
“Look, I know I haven’t been the biggest fan of you and Bobby, and I’m sorry, okay? He’s not that bad of a guy after all, or at least he isn’t so far. He’s kind of alright.” Junhoe rambled the words out quickly, not good when it came to verbal outpourings of anything resembling emotion. “As for Jinhwan, did you really think I’d be an asshole to him? In front of your family?”  
  
Hanbin couldn’t help but feel guilty at the question, because he actually _had_ expected it of Junhoe. He shouldn’t have, though, because as much as Junhoe liked to complain about people behind their backs, he was usually fairly polite to their face (provided he paid the person any attention at all). It was rare for him to instigate a bout of disrespect. Hanbin should have known to expect better of him regardless of how much Junhoe had protested over the past week.  
  
“I’m sorry, you’re right, I guess I was just worried because you’ve been so against this all week.”  
  
Junhoe leaned next to Hanbin, shifting his gaze from Hanbin to the wall. “You’re my best friend, Bin, I’d never intentionally be an asshole to someone you invited out. Not unless they really crossed a line.”  
  
“I know,” Hanbin replied, leaning closer to Junhoe until their shoulders were touching, “I’m sorry Jinhwan hasn’t been as nice to you. He promised me he would be, and to be honest I’m really shocked that he’s acting like this. I really didn’t think he would.”  
  
Junhoe rolled his eyes at the response. “Yeah well, I _told you_ he’s an asshole, didn’t I? But you didn’t believe me.”  
  
Hanbin grinned. “Mark this down in your calendar so you don’t forget it!” He still wasn’t convinced that Jinhwan was that bad, but he’d reserve judgement until he got to talk to him. Maybe Jinhwan was being an ass out of his own insecurity? It was hard to judge, since he didn’t know him that well.  
  
“Don’t worry, I’ll remind you constantly.” Junhoe grinned back at him, and just hearing Hanbin acknowledge it all made everything feel better. He knew Hanbin wouldn’t _really_ side with Jinhwan over him, but sometimes Junhoe let his insecurities get the better of him. As much as he hated to admit it, he’d been a little afraid that Hanbin’s relationship with Bobby might have opened a space for Jinhwan to invade and take over as a new friend. That hadn’t happened, though, and Junhoe felt more confident now that it wouldn’t. Hanbin still had his back. “Anyway enough about Jinhwan. Since we’re being gay, I guess I kind of need to apologize to you.”  
  
Hanbin looked at him in surprise—Junhoe rarely ever verbally apologized for anything. He preferred to apologize by way of actions instead, which Hanbin was very good at reading. But a verbal apology? “Should I record this for posterity?”  
  
“Bro, I’m trying to be serious!” Junhoe whined. “I admit that I, may have overreacted about Bobby.” Junhoe rushed the words out, embarrassed now that he was saying it out loud. God, he _hated_ apologizing!  
  
Hanbin was still caught off guard by the apology and he wasn’t sure how he ought to respond to it. He could always just shrug it off like it was no big deal (which Junhoe would probably appreciate) but at the same time, this was a prime teasing opportunity…  
  
“Can you say that again? Slower this time? Speak into the camera?” Hanbin teased, moving closer to try and hug him.  
  
“Fuck off, Hanbin! Don’t make me dump the rest of your drink over you head!” Junhoe moved away, annoyed that Hanbin was teasing him. This was exactly why he didn’t like apologizing! It was always so awkward after!  
  
“Ah, there’s the Junhoe I know and love!” Hanbin replied, watching Junhoe’s face as he fought back against the smile that was trying to come out. “I told you that you’d like Bobby, didn’t I?”  
  
Junhoe let out a resigned sigh and let Hanbin get close. “Yeah well, I’m still watching him! If he slacks off at all, I’ll call him on it. I let Woosung get away with a lot of shit because he was your first boyfriend and I didn’t have the high expectations I have now. Bobby better stay on top of shit, otherwise he’s gonna catch a fist.”  
  
Hanbin grinned and felt like half the weight he’d been carrying around all day was lifted. Even without Jinhwan baiting Junhoe, he hadn’t expected them to be friendly, he’d expected Junhoe to be frosty towards both of them all day. But admitting that he liked Bobby? This was way more than Hanbin had hoped for, and it made everything else worthwhile.  
  
“Not to make this situation any more awkward for you, but I really appreciate you telling me that you actually like him. I’ve honestly been really worried, I hate being at odds with you over things.” Hanbin knew that he was running the risk of _too much_ emotion for Junhoe all at one time, but he didn’t think he’d get another chance for this to come up in conversation, and he felt like it was important that he remind Junhoe how important their friendship was.  
  
Junhoe frowned at the comment, feeling a little guilty. “I know, I was an ass, I’m sorry, okay? I really mean it. I’m just not good at, all this stuff,” Junhoe floundered for a way to explain himself, but he knew that Hanbin would get what he was trying to say. He always did.  
  
“I know, and I forgive you!” Hanbin teased, wrapping his arms around Junhoe in a tight hug. He was surprised when Junhoe actually hugged him back.  
  
“Let’s get back out there and forget we ever had this conversation?” Junhoe asked, because there was only so much of this mushy stuff he could take.  
  
Hanbin grinned and pulled away, beyond placated with Junhoe’s actions. “Deal! If they ask what took so long, I’ll say you were primping in the bathroom.”  
  
Junhoe grinned and ran his fingers through his hair. “That’s believable.”

* * *

  
The moment Hanbin and Junhoe were out of range, Bobby turned to Jinhwan with a less than friendly look in his eyes.  
  
“What the fuck are you doing?” Bobby hissed at him, wanting to pack a lecture into the short moment they’d have before Hanbin got back.  
  
Jinhwan grinned sheepishly, not surprised that Bobby was calling him out. “I’m sorry, I just--”  
  
“I don’t care, Jinan!” Bobby interrupted. “You promised you’d be nice to Junhoe! You promised me _and_ Hanbin! Now you’re making _me_ look like a jerk too because you’re my best friend!”  
  
Jinhwan didn’t answer right away, instead locking eyes with Bobby and reading all the emotion in there. Bobby was angry, sure, but he was also _scared._ That made Jinhwan feel like crap, but at the same time he thought that Bobby was probably overreacting slightly.  
  
“I think I kinda misjudged Junhoe a little, to be honest.” Jinhwan admitted, but Bobby cut him off again.  
  
“You need to apologize, to Hanbin at least! You know how worried he was about today!”  
  
“I will! God, calm down. You’re acting like I spat in Junhoe’s face or something.” Jinhwan knew he was in the wrong, but Bobby definitely _was_ overreacting. It hadn’t been _that_ bad. Bobby was just feeling nervous because he liked Hanbin so much—which was a first for him, because Bobby had never put so much concern into what previous guys he’d dated had thought. Jinhwan would think the whole thing was cute if he wasn’t the one being lectured.  
  
“I just feel like this is on me, you know? I kept telling Hanbin not to worry, that you’d be nice. You made me look like a liar.” Bobby couldn’t help but unload on Jinhwan now that he’d started. He would have been okay if Hanbin hadn’t just blatantly whisked Junhoe away for a private chat! What was that supposed to mean?! What was he saying to him? Apologizing for the shitty behaviour of his boyfriend’s best friend?  
  
It wasn’t that serious to Jinhwan. “Oh give him some credit, Bobby, Hanbin’s a smart kid, he’s not going to hold you accountable for me! You’re getting too worked up.”  
  
Bobby frowned and wanted to say more, but he bit his tongue instead. Was he overreacting?  
  
“He’s probably just asking Junhoe what he thinks about you,” Jinhwan said, “I mean let’s be honest, you’re the one who really needs to be friends with Junhoe. I’m not that important to the equation. Hell I probably made you look good, now that I think about it!” Jinhwan had been surprised that Junhoe had been so civil to Bobby, after all. Was it because he’d been the greater of two evils to Junhoe? Was that how he worked?  
  
“I don’t want you left out though! I’m not splitting myself between you and Hanbin, I want us all to be able to hang out together.” Bobby retorted, not about to accept Jinhwan’s attempt at deflecting his unfriendly behaviour.  
  
“We will, okay? Like I said, I think I misjudged Junhoe. He seems a lot less arrogant today.” Jinhwan wasn’t totally convinced of that, of course, but he had to placate Bobby with something right now.  
  
“I think both of you misjudged each other, and if you’d quit being a dick, he could start to see that. Instead you’re just proving him right.”  
  
Jinhwan waved his comment off. “Yeah, I get it, okay? I’ll apologize, I promise. And I’ll be nicer to Junhoe for the rest of the day.”  
  
“If you don’t you’re leaving, got it? I don’t care if you have to take the bus home.” Bobby was still feeling a little grumpy, nervous because there was still no sign of Hanbin. He was definitely having some kind of chat with Junhoe, and Bobby’s nerves were frazzled. What if Jinhwan had fucked things up? What if Junhoe was complaining, what if he was giving Hanbin an ultimatum?  
  
He didn’t know why he was getting so worked up. Jinhwan was probably right about it all, it probably wasn’t serious. Bobby just didn’t want anything to go wrong.  
  
Jinhwan grinned and slung his arm around Bobby’s shoulders. “I have honest good intentions! I’ve seen the error of my ways!”  
  
Bobby snorted and shrugged him off. “That’s what you said this morning before we walked in. Forgive me if I don’t buy it a second time.”  
  
But Jinhwan knew he’d made just enough of a dent in Bobby’s angry disappointment and concern for the moment. He’d fix this. Maybe he and Junhoe wouldn’t be friends any time soon, but he’d smooth it over with Hanbin, at least.  
  
Finally the other two were on their way back, and Bobby felt relief flood through his system at the smiling expression on Hanbin’s face. Even Junhoe looked happy, and Bobby hoped that was a good sign. They stopped for a bit to chat with Hanbin’s family, and Bobby couldn’t help but smile when Hanbin picked his sister up and kissed her.  
  
“He’s so cute with her,” Jinhwan said, and Bobby nodded.  
  
“Yeah he is.”  
  
“Makes him even more attractive, doesn’t it?” Jinhwan teased, and Bobby nodded again. “Bring her a present next time, maybe she’ll finally say hi.”  
  
Bobby huffed and pushed him away, though he laughed at the end. “I think I might have to. I still can’t believe she waved at you! That’s more than I’ve gotten.”  
  
Jinhwan grinned and laughed at him. “I’ll make sure I put in a good word for you when I talk to her next.”

A minute later and they were joined by Hanbin and Junhoe. Junhoe sat down immediately in his usual spot, while Hanbin stood in front of Bobby, looking down at him with a happy smile. That pretty much killed Bobby’s nerves. Whatever Hanbin had wanted to talk to Junhoe about, it couldn't have been that serious. He’d been worried for nothing after all. Bobby reached out for Hanbin’s hand and tugged him down until he was sitting in front of him.

“Let me give you a shoulder massage while we wait for your next fight?” Bobby prompted, and Hanbin eagerly settled back against him.  
  
Jinhwan watched them, pretty certain that Bobby had only offered the massage to alleviate his own nervous energy. “I can’t believe this double standard.” Jinhwan quietly complained, pouting when Bobby looked at him.  
  
“What are you whining about?” Bobby knew _exactly_ what Jinhwan had meant, but he played along anyway.  
  
“In all the years he’s come to my fights, not _once_ has he ever offered to give me any kind of massage. Said he never knew how, didn’t want to risk injuring me. Now here he is, suddenly able to work some magic.” Jinhwan sighed dramatically, grinning when Bobby laughed.  
  
“He complained when he saw you giving Junhoe a massage at the tournament the other week,” Bobby ventured, cautiously bringing it up.  
  
“It was just after he’d asked for your number,” Jinhwan added, “couldn’t take his eyes off you!”  
  
“Way to make me sound like a creep!” Bobby joked, pleased when he saw that even Junhoe was grinning.  
  
“Well, I can’t blame you!” Hanbin replied. “I looked pretty cute that day.”  
  
“You look cute every day.” Bobby said, and grinned when both Junhoe and Jinhwan groaned at the same time.  
  
“Just disgusting,” Jinhwan replied, though he still grinned at them, “is he doing a good job with your shoulders?”  
  
Hanbin nodded. “It’s pretty decent,” he replied, before a cheeky grin crossed his lips, “not as good as Junhoe’s shoulder rubs though!”  
  
Junhoe smirked at the comment. “Of course not!”  
  
“But to be fair, Junhoe and I have been giving each other shoulder massages for years, so I’m sure if Bobby gets in a lot of practice, he’ll be just as good!” Hanbin added.  
  
“Ugh, seriously?” Jinhwan whined, punching Bobby lightly in the arm. “I can’t believe I’ve been stuck with a dud all this time!” He grinned when Bobby pouted at him.  
  
Junhoe watched them, biting his tongue to keep from pointing out that maybe, if Jinhwan were _nicer,_ he’d have gotten some shoulder rubs over the years. But he couldn’t go and instigate right after Hanbin had made a point of thanking him for being nice. Besides, Jinhwan didn’t seem to be instigating anything with him right now, so he’d keep the comment to himself.  
  
He was just glad to note that he and Hanbin seemed to have a tighter friendship than Bobby and Jinhwan. Not that it should matter, because friendship wasn’t about competition. Maybe Bobby and Jinhwan expressed their closeness in a different way. It wasn’t really a matter that ought to concern him.  
  
Hanbin hadn’t been lying—Bobby wasn’t quite as skilled with his fingers as Junhoe, but what he got out of Bobby’s shoulder rub was different. The closeness and affection made him feel light, no worries on his mind anymore. It was a nice reset before his next match.  
  
“So when’s your next fight, Hanbin?” Jinhwan asked, curious about what they planned to do regarding lunch.

“About an hour and a half. Dad’s going to go pick up some food soon, he’s getting enough for all of us. So when they get back we’ll eat, if you guys are hungry.”  
  
Jinhwan looked at him in surprise. “Really? That’s so nice of him, I was just going to ask about lunch, actually.”  
  
“Good timing, then!”

They spent the next while talking about Hanbin’s boxing tournaments, sharing stories about entertaining opponents and fights. The conversation flowed smoothly despite the potential tension between Junhoe and Jinhwan, and Bobby was surprised that Junhoe didn’t seem to be bothered by either of them at the moment. He happily engaged Bobby in conversation and even answered Jinhwan’s questions without complaint. He wondered what Hanbin had said to him just before?

Jinhwan was curious too. Junhoe’s mood had noticeably improved, there was no trace of the tense aloofness he’d been displaying prior to the fight. He still had Bobby’s words in his mind, but wondered if he really needed to bother? Hanbin didn’t seem upset with him at all, and Jinhwan wondered if apologizing would just make everything weird again?

Maybe he’d just send him a text. Hanbin didn’t seem like the type who held on to grudges (unlike the rest of them). He was going out on a limb, sure, but apologizing over text could be easily explained if Hanbin took offense to it. Jinhwan didn’t expect him to, but he figured he’d get his explanation in place in case things got weird.  
  
Bobby had stopped the shoulder massage by now, but Hanbin was still leaning back against him, happy for the cuddle. Even though Bobby had told him that he usually wasn’t into being touchy, he never seemed to be bothered whenever Hanbin got them close. Jinhwan had mentioned that Bobby had softened up around him, and the thought of that made Hanbin happy. It was cute that someone who usually held themselves back in public was so open with him now.  
  
Bobby and Junhoe were discussing Hanbin’s last fight with Jaesuk, the instigator from earlier, and Hanbin let Junhoe tell the story, not wanting to interrupt what appeared to be a bonding moment between his best friend and his boyfriend. His phone buzzed in his lap, a new message from… Jinhwan? Why was he sending a text when he was so close? Hanbin brought the message up, and his expression brightened when he read it.  
  
_-sorry i was a jerk to junhoe today. should i apologize or would it make him mad?-_  
  
Well, there was his own theory proven correct—Jinhwan couldn’t be that much of an asshole if he was inquiring about apologizing. Hanbin thought it must be legit, because if Jinhwan wanted to apologize just to try and save face, he wouldn’t bother to ask for Hanbin’s opinion first. He’d just do it, and if Junhoe took offense, well, that would just make Junhoe look like a jerk, wouldn’t it?

But if he was asking first, that meant that he actually wanted the apology to be accepted, right?  
  
_-nah, best to leave it hyung, hes not good with apologies-_  
  
He glanced over at Jinhwan, smiling and winking at him. Jinhwan smiled back before looking down at his phone, nodding at Hanbin’s response and typing one back. He felt good about his decision. Just like he thought, Hanbin wasn’t that upset with him—not if he’d called him hyung over text. Something about Hanbin told Jinhwan that he wasn’t the type to hide his feelings if he was upset.  
  
_-i thought so. i am sorry, i promised id be nice and i was a jerk! ill make up for it-_  
  
Hanbin didn’t bother replying to the message, but he did look back at Jinhwan again, giving him a thumbs up instead. Junhoe would probably be suspicious of the texted apology, but Hanbin wasn’t. Life was too short to go around second guessing everyone’s intentions. Maybe Jinhwan really didn’t care about apologizing to Junhoe, maybe he was just trying to save face in front of Hanbin. But as long as he continued to be nice and polite, Hanbin didn’t really care. All he wanted was some degree of harmony.  
  
They joined Hanbin’s family a bit later for lunch, and on their way over Hanbin whispered to Bobby that he wanted him to sit next to Junhoe to keep up their friendly interactions. Bobby was feeling good about Junhoe. After spending the past while asking him questions (questions he could have asked Hanbin, but he got the impression that Junhoe _liked_ being asked for his input), he thought that Junhoe had moved on from a cool acceptance of Bobby’s presence to actual warm friendliness and he followed Hanbin’s advice, wanting to cement their newly formed bond.  
  
Hanbin sat in between Bobby and Jinhwan instead, and Jinhwan slid closer to him to whisper in his ear.  
  
“I really am sorry.”  
  
Hanbin grinned and shook his head, mouthing _thanks_ back at him. Jinhwan smiled in reply before digging into the food Hanbin’s father had brought for them. Everything felt peaceful, and Hanbin felt like things might actually work out, given enough time.

* * *

It was almost time for Hanbin’s final match, and as expected (and as he hoped) it was against Jaesuk. He was looking forward to beating him a third time, especially in front of Bobby.

They were still sitting with Hanbin’s family, and Hanbyul was currently sitting in Hanbin’s lap. To everyone’s surprise she’d been happy to sit in the gym during the entire thing, alternating between watching the matches and colouring. She’d surprised Hanbin by asking him to show her how to do the punches, and he was currently explaining all the different types to her.

“At this rate we won’t have to worry about her when she gets old enough to date,” Junhoe said, watching as she practiced a punch on Hanbin’s leg, “she’ll kick anyone’s ass.”

“That’s the plan!” Hanbin answered, grinning when she hit him again.

“I’m glad you’re teaching her, but maybe she should find a new target so she doesn’t injure you before your final,” his mom said, grinning when Hanbin winced after a particularly hard hit.

“Not a bad idea. Any volunteers?” Hanbin asked, looking around at the other three. “How about Bobby oppa?”

“No!” Hanbyul replied, hiding her face in Hanbin’s leg.

“I think it would be good, Bobby’s very strong, so you won’t hurt him!” Hanbin said, prying her back up. He was determined to get her close to Bobby today, by any means necessary.

“Yeah, come here with me, Byul-ah!” Junhoe called, “we can both beat him up!” He held his hand out and Hanbin pushed her in Junhoe’s direction. She laughed and went to him, but refused to look at Bobby, still feeling shy in front of him.

“Come on, show me your moves!” Junhoe said, coaxing her into it.

Bobby was surprised that Junhoe was trying to help them out. Sure, he’d been exceptionally nice ever since the break earlier, but trying to help him get close to Hanbyul? That he hadn’t expected, but he took it as a final sign that he had Junhoe’s full approval.

“You can either punch him or kiss him!” Hanbin teased, “take your pick Byul!”

Hanbyul laughed and finally peeked out from Junhoe’s arm, her eyes on Bobby. She reached out and lightly hit him on the arm, before hiding in Junhoe again.

“Ah that was weak! You hit me harder!” Hanbin teased her, moving next to Bobby. “Watch this, I’ll show you how to do it!” Hanbin grinned at Bobby before hitting his arm with a flurry of light punches, and even though they didn’t hurt at all, Bobby still played it up like they did.

“No, quit it! You’re too strong for me!” Bobby whined, leaning over against Jinhwan.

“Take your beatings like a man!” Jinhwan teased back, pushing him back into Hanbin’s path.

“Come on Byul, hit him while he’s hurt!” Junhoe encouraged, and suddenly she did that, laughing as she faced Bobby and hit him a few times. Bobby pretended to be hurt, crying out with each hit while Hanbyul laughed.

Finally Hanbin grabbed her, grinning at her. “Good job! You showed him who’s boss!”

“Yeah, now Bobby knows not to upset Hanbin!” Junhoe joked, and Hanbin followed it up.

“Yeah, that’s right! Did you hear that? You have to be nice to me!” Hanbin pulled Hanbyul down onto his lap. “So you better get used to always giving me what I want!”

Bobby grinned back at him, happy to play along. “What do you want right now?”

“A kiss!” Hanbin answered, grinning when Hanbyul peeked her head towards Bobby at the request. She hadn’t asked him about kissing boys since that first time, but she still seemed curious.

“I think I can manage a kiss.” Bobby answered, leaning closer to him. He noticed Hanbyul staring too, but he didn’t make it obvious so she wouldn’t get embarrassed. He gave Hanbin a quick kiss on the cheek, and Hanbin smiled when he felt it.

“That’s good! Byul-ah, give me a kiss too!” Hanbin asked, and she did as requested, kissing his other cheek. “Thank you! Bobby was pretty nice, right? Do you think he should get a kiss too?”

Hanbyul quickly looked at Bobby, who was giving her a pleading look, before looking back at Hanbin and nodding.

“Okay, kisses for Bobby! How about we both give him a kiss?” Hanbin asked, curious if she’d go for it. To his surprise she shyly nodded.

Bobby almost couldn’t believe it! To go from barely a look to a kiss all in one day? He leaned in closer to them, excitement prickling his skin. Hanbin kissed him first, but then seconds later Hanbyul kissed him too, though as soon as she did she shyly hid in Hanbin’s chest again.

That was okay though. Bobby was elated with her already.  
  
Junhoe watched them with a grin, amused at Hanbyul’s turn around. And okay, so he’d been watching Bobby closely through it all, and he seemed genuinely happy that Hanbyul was finally acknowledging him. It was…sweet. It won him more points.  
  
Junhoe looked back down at the floor where the next match was being set up, and he was surprised when seconds later Hanbyul was at his side again, tugging on his sleeve. He looked down at her with inquiring eyes, not exactly prepared for her question.

“Oppa, do you like to kiss boys too?”  
  
Junhoe’s eyes went wide and he looked quickly at Hanbin, unsure what he was supposed to say. She’d never asked him anything personal before, and it felt weird to be asked. Hanbin was no help though, grinning wickedly, almost like he’d been expecting it and was content to enjoy the show.  
  
Junhoe looked back at her, unnerved by her amused expression. He had the fleeting suspicion that this question might not have come from her at all. He looked back at Hanbin, narrowed eyes searching his best friend’s face for clues.  
  
Hanbin grinned back. “Answer her, Junhoe!”  
  
Junhoe frowned and looked back at her. “Why are you asking me? This isn’t a question you just ask anyone, Byul-ah. It’s personal.” Okay, so it was kind of a cop-out answer because he felt weird answering her about it.  
  
Hanbyul just grinned back at him, and he _knew_ this couldn’t all be her concoction, could it?

“Does Jinan oppa kiss boys too? Maybe you can kiss him.” Hanbyul looked back at Hanbin after making her comment, giggling at him. Hanbin barely kept a handle on his own laughter, shocked at her question. She’d whispered the first question in Hanbin’s ear, about who Junhoe liked to kiss, and he’d told her to ask him. He hadn’t expected her to add Jinhwan into the mix, though!

Junhoe could feel his face turn beet red at the comment, and behind him he could hear both of Hanbin’s parents trying to stifle their own laughter. Next to him Bobby’s face was slack with shock, like he also didn’t know how to respond.

Jinhwan, however, was quick to jump in. “I don’t know about Junhoe-ya, but I like kissing boys!” He smiled at Hanbyul, who smiled back at him before looking back at Junhoe.

“You should give Jinan oppa a kiss!” Hanbyul squealed, laughing after saying it.

“Uh, I don’t know if that’s a good idea,” Junhoe floundered, still embarrassed. Oh hell no! What was Hanbin doing?!

“It’s just a kiss, it’s harmless!” Jinhwan teased, and he really hoped he wasn’t digging himself a second grave today. But this was too funny, and he couldn’t help but play into her request.

Bobby wasn’t sure which way this was going to go, and he glanced quickly between Junhoe and Jinhwan. Junhoe didn’t seem like he was taking great offense to the idea at least (and if it was that bad, Hanbin would probably step in and sort it out), so hopefully Jinhwan’s teasing agreement with Hanbyul wasn’t going to upset Junhoe. Maybe it would actually help, then? Jinhwan had been on his best behavior after their chat, and he’d been trying to appeal to Junhoe’s favour.  
  
Junhoe looked at Hanbin, desperate for him to call an end to this. But Hanbin just shook his head back at him.  
  
“I swear, I didn’t put her up to this!” Hanbin said, certain that Junhoe was asking exactly that.

“How about I just give you a kiss instead?” Junhoe replied to Hanbyul, desperately trying to get out of this situation. If Hanbin _really_ hadn’t told her to say this, then what could he do? She didn’t understand the tension that existed between he and Jinhwan. She probably thought they were friends, since they were here together…  
  
It was especially uncomfortable, though, because ever since the break earlier Jinhwan had been… quite pleasant for the rest of the afternoon, nothing at all like he was in the morning. He’d even bought Junhoe a drink without asking earlier, just as a polite gesture.

Maybe Jinhwan was trying to play on Hanbyul’s attempts at bridging their friendship? Or maybe he was just trying to make himself look good in front of Hanbin’s parents, and his asshole nature would come out again later. Junhoe was suspicious, but he wasn’t as hell bent on being negative as he was before.

“Kiss me and kiss Jinan oppa!” Hanbyul requested, laughing again.

Jinhwan grinned and moved closer, sitting on front of them and sticking his cheek out. Okay, he _really_ hoped Junhoe wasn’t upset over this, because he thought it was actually hilarious.

When no one jumped to his defence (he’d been counting on Hanbin’s mom to save him, at the very least!) Junhoe groaned and hoped this wasn’t going to backfire on him. He gave Hanbyul a kiss on the cheek before leaning forward and hastily pecking Jinhwan as well, sitting back up and trying to ignore the snickering of Hanbin’s father. _Like father, like son!_

“Kiss Junhoe oppa too!” Hanbyul demanded of Jinhwan, pleased with herself. Jinhwan had been waiting for the request, and he spared a quick glance at Hanbin and Bobby. Hanbin looked like he was enjoying this, and even Bobby looked amused, though he was understandably a little more concerned.  
  
Jinhwan looked back at Junhoe, grinning at his uncomfortable look. He was clearly embarrassed, cheeks still tinted red from blushing, and Jinhwan couldn’t help but think, for just a moment, that it was actually a cute look on him. Maybe he’d like to see it again.  
  
Jinhwan leaned forward and pressed his lips to Junhoe’s cheek, his soft kiss putting Junhoe’s barely there peck to absolute shame. Hanbin couldn’t hold the laugh anymore, turning to bury his face in Bobby’s shoulder. Jinhwan pulled back and was amused at the fact that Junhoe was staunchly refusing to look at him, and his cheeks were even redder now.  
  
Jinhwan hated to admit it, but it was definitely cute.  
  
Maybe there was hope for them yet?


	11. In The Paint

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Junhoe struggles to deal with yet another newcomer vying for Hanbin's attention, which yields an interesting result during Hanbin and Bobby's high school basketball game.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just so there's no confusion—this chapter picks up after Hanbin's boxing tournament (which he won). I had plans to finish that scene properly, but realized it wasn't actually relevant to the storyline, so I scrapped it and moved on. Just didn't want anyone wondering if they'd missed something!

It’s been a week since the tournament (which Hanbin won, of course), and Junhoe’s slowly been losing his mind with each passing day—but for once it had nothing to do with Jinhwan. He’s had a more pressing problem, and its name was Kim Donghyuk.  
  
“I mean, he just won’t leave Hanbin alone, it’s annoying!” Junhoe bit the tip of his pen, his irritation manifesting in the grinding of his molars against the plastic of the cap. He’d tried to keep it to himself over the past week, tried not to say anything to Hanbin about it, but now that he was alone with Yunhyeong, everything was coming out.

“But wasn’t that the whole point of introducing them? Like, you said it yourself, it’s a pretty toxic environment at times for gay guys. It’s only natural he’d want to cling to Hanbin. Or is that the problem? He’s trying to move in on Hanbin, and isn’t looking to be your friend too?” Yunhyeong had listened with a critical ear and he was pretty sure he had Junhoe’s problem figured out.  
  
“No, he talks to me too!” Junhoe retorted, annoyed eyes on Yunhyeong. “He knows I’m gay, so of course he keeps trying to be my friend.”  
  
“And are you trying to be his friend back, or are you being a jerk?” Yunhyeong asked, amused that Junhoe could have such good intentions, but such poor delivery.  
  
“I’m not being a jerk!” Junhoe answered, offended by the question. Okay, so maybe he wasn’t quite as welcoming as Hanbin. But it’s not like he was being rude to Donghyuk! But he was kind of annoying. Always there. Always waiting. Always smiling.  
  
“Are you sure?” Yunhyeong teased. “You might not realize that you’re being off-putting. So maybe he’s clinging to Hanbin more because you’re scary.”  
  
“I am not scary!” Junhoe replied, annoyed as well as offended now. “He’d be fine if he wasn’t there all the time! It’s not that he’s there at all. It’s just,” he struggled to find the right sentiment, “it would be nice if he tried making some other friends? You know? More than just me and Hanbin?”  
  
Yunhyeong grinned and reached out to pat Junhoe’s knee. “How many other guys are openly gay at our school?”  
  
“There’s a few--”  
  
“Are there? I know there’s Woosung, but I’ll be honest, I only know about him because of how often you’ve complained about him. Ever since he and Hanbin broke up, I actually haven’t seen him with any other guys. I haven’t seen anyone who’s as out about it as the two of you. Clearly, being out seems to be important to Donghyuk. Do you know how he’s been treated by other classmates?”  
  
Junhoe shook his head without thinking about it. “No, why would I care? I’m not his babysitter.”  
  
“Well maybe that’s the reason why he’s sticking to you guys? It’s already hard enough to move to a new school and make friends, especially if you’re coming back to Korea after being away in America. I’m guessing things must be really different. But since he’s gay, he might not be welcomed by other guys. You and Hanbin got a lot of shit when you came out, I remember that. Maybe, instead of complaining about him, you could try paying attention to Donghyuk? See if he’s being treated poorly by your classmates? I’m sure he doesn’t want to seem like a pest, but maybe you’re the only guys that talk to him? I’m sure he’ll make more friends over time, you just have to be patient. He’s only been here a week.”  
  
Junhoe frowned at Yunhyeong’s advice. Okay maybe he had a bit of a point. It was still early. It was just too much, though, too many new people! Over the space of the past month he’d gone from having Hanbin completely to himself to having to share him with a new boyfriend (which wasn’t so bad, because Bobby went to a different school, so Junhoe still had Hanbin to himself during the day) but now he had to deal with Donghyuk, who was in their class and constantly around! It was more than he could handle.  
  
Yunhyeong grinned and went back to checking over Junhoe’s homework. Everything was always so dramatic with him! Yunhyeong almost felt bad for this new kid, he hoped he was tough enough to deal with jealous Junhoe. “Anyway, enough about Donghyuk. How are things with Hanbin’s new boyfriend? You didn’t say much about spending the day with him at the tournament.”  
  
Junhoe let go of the Donghyuk conversation for now, relieved that he’d been able to get it out of his system without having to complain to Hanbin. Bobby was an easier topic to discuss now that Junhoe had made peace with his feelings about it.

“It went well,” he answered, “Bobby’s a good guy, I like him.”  
  
Yunhyeong stopped what he was doing and stared at Junhoe with a shocked expression. When they’d met for their tutoring session last week, Junhoe had been explosive in his anger over the relationship, citing Bobby’s friendship with that other guy who’d kicked Junhoe’s ass. To hear such a turnaround in only a week’s time was almost alarming.  
  
“Did you get hit in the head again?” Yunhyeong asked, grinning when Junhoe glared at him. “No, I’m serious! The last time we talked, it sounded like he’d killed your family or something, you were pissed about Hanbin dating him. And now you actually admit that you like him? Junhoe, this is _huge!”_  
  
Junhoe rolled his eyes at Yunhyeong’s response. God, he could be so irritating! “Whatever, hyung, I didn’t know him the last time we talked, but I know him now and I think he’s okay. I’m still watching him, of course, waiting for him to slip up.” Well, he was trying to. Unfortunately, Bobby was actually very disarming when he was happy. He had an infectious sort of personality that had a way of tearing down your walls when you were trying to stay alert.  
  
“Well, I’m happy it went well! How was the other guy?” Yunhyeong was still surprised, and he wondered if things with that other guy had gone better than expected too?  
  
“What other guy?” Junhoe asked, not wanting to say Jinhwan’s name out loud. He was still processing what had gone on between them.  
  
“Oh come on, Bobby’s best friend! The guy who kicked your ass? He was there too, wasn’t he?”  
  
Junhoe frowned and nodded. “Ah, yeah, he was there.”  
  
“And?” Yunhyeong prompted, wondering what Junhoe’s deal was. He clearly didn’t seem like he wanted to talk about him.  
  
“He’s fine. Better than expected.” Well, sort of? Junhoe’s verdict on Jinhwan was still out. He wasn’t quite the monster Junhoe had thought he was, but still… Time would tell. After all he only had one day’s worth of being around him. The possibility still existed that Jinhwan would show himself negatively. Of course it also existed that Jinhwan really _was_ a nice guy, and the asshole Junhoe had seen at first was only a front.  
  
“Wow, seriously?” Yunhyeong was shocked again! “I was expecting to hear stories of a bathroom brawl between the two of you.”  
  
Junhoe glared at him again. “Never say never.”  
  
“So what happened to make you think he’s not so bad?” Yunhyeong asked, genuinely curious.  
  
Junhoe shrugged, because he did _not_ want to think about that too much. He’d tried to block certain parts of the day out of his mind, but he was having a bit of difficulty doing just that—namely the stupid kiss. It was embarrassing, the way that he kept catching himself thinking about it.  
  
Junhoe wasn’t a big fan of kissing, to be honest. It always felt awkward to him. But Jinhwan had kissed him so easily, soft and pleasant and Junhoe still blushed when he thought about it. _Fuck!_ He was thinking about it again!  
  
Yunhyeong was watching him and he noticed that suddenly, out of nowhere, the pink tinge of a blush was creeping over Junhoe’s cheeks. Junhoe. _Blushing?!_ “Okay something happened, you need to tell me!”  
  
“What?! Nothing had happened, what are you talking about?” Junhoe panicked and choked a refutal out.  
  
“You’re blushing! Something happened!”  
  
“I am not! Aren’t you supposed to be checking my work, hyung?! Mom doesn’t pay you to come here and talk!” Oh god he needed Yunhyeong to shut up _right now_ about Jinhwan!  
  
Yunhyeong picked the discarded notebook back up, along with his red pen. “Fine, I guess you have a point. But I am not letting this go! If you don’t tell me what happened, I’ll find out myself.” Yunhyeong looked down at the page and got back to work.  
  
“God, hyung! Just leave it alone, okay? Otherwise I might not tell you anything anymore!” Junhoe glared at him, even though Yunhyeong’s eyes were still caught in his homework. He couldn’t handle it if anyone else knew what had happened. If Yunhyeong even thought about asking Hanbin…  
  
“Please, you won’t be able to restrain yourself!” Yunhyeong teased, grinning as he crossed out numerous incorrect equations. He wasn’t sure anymore what Junhoe was worse at—interpersonal relationships or mathematics.

* * *

  
“Hey, honest question, your mom makes really good money, so how come you don’t go to a fancy school like this one?” This wasn’t the first time Bobby had been here, of course, but he’d never really paid attention to the building before. The surroundings never meant shit, because all he cared about was coming in and mopping the floor with the opposing team. But now he was in Hanbin’s school, walking down hallways that Hanbin walked down every day, and he couldn’t help but notice the difference. It’s not that Bobby went to a poor school, or anything. It’s moreso that Hanbin’s school was extremely posh.  
  
Jinhwan walked next to him and shrugged. “Well, she did ask me if I wanted to enroll somewhere different this time, but I said no. I don’t care how fancy the classrooms are—if you’re not in them, then why bother coming to Seoul at all?” Jinhwan answered, and even though he was being honest, Bobby still groaned at the answer and pushed him away.  
  
“I mean it! You could be here, you’re rich enough. So why aren’t you?” Bobby didn’t often think about the different economic brackets their families were in, but it definitely existed. His family got by easy enough, but he knew that was mostly because both of his parents and his brother worked. Three incomes kept them afloat. However, he also knew that Jinwhan’s mom made more money than the three of them combined. You could tell the difference by the clothes they wore.  
  
Jinhwan’s thoughts drifted to what his sister had told him. Maybe Bobby didn’t know either? “Well, she already pays your parents money for me, so it would be like paying double tuition.”  
  
Bobby looked surprised. “Does she really?” His parents had never mentioned that they get money for Jinhwan staying with them.  
  
“Yeah, I didn’t know either until Seiyeon told me a few weeks ago. Just one of those things that makes sense, but you don’t really think about? It doesn’t matter, though. I like our school. It has you, that’s what keeps bringing me back!” Jinhwan teased and latched onto Bobby’s arm.  
  
Bobby grinned and accepted that as an answer. He was glad that Jinhwan didn’t feel bad going to a regular public school instead of a rich private school. But still, Bobby couldn’t help but wonder how different life would be if his parents made more money. He could have met Hanbin earlier, if that were the case.  
  
Ah, Hanbin invading his thoughts again! Bobby was happy with the relationship, happier than he’d ever been, really. But he found himself thinking about Hanbin _all the time_ and he wondered if maybe he was getting a little too attached? He never thought he’d be the type of guy to daydream about another person, never thought he’d ever feel so co-dependent. It was honestly a little scary sometimes, because what if Hanbin didn’t feel as strongly about him?  
  
He was pretty sure Hanbin did—they texted constantly throughout the day, and Hanbin had even gotten himself on a schedule, Bobby had noticed. Different types of messages at different times of the day, selfies at the same time each day like clockwork, so Bobby had come to expect them. The more he thought about it, the sweeter it was. The only problem was that Bobby had never wanted sweet. It took some getting used to (not Hanbin, but himself, his own needs and desires).  
  
Jiun told him that maybe he’d just been afraid of commitment, never wanted to get hurt before (which Jiun thought was stupid, his brother told him that getting hurt is part of growing up, it’s important to know that someone can hurt you and that you’re strong enough to get over it).  
  
Oh well. Bobby didn’t have to worry about that now, because there was no way Hanbin would ever do anything to hurt him. They were both crazy about each other, and Bobby hoped they always would be.  
  
But today would be an exception, because today he and Hanbin were in direct competition. They had a basketball game and they both expected to win. Bobby thought back to their very first meeting, when they were trying to figure each other out, how they’d talked about basketball. They’d gotten together since then to shoot hoops, and Hanbin hadn’t been exaggerating—he had a wicked free throw completion rate.  
  
Of course that was something Bobby was going to use against him, and he’d already told his teammates to watch out for Hanbin, to always guard him whenever he was hanging back. They’d both promised each other that whatever happened in the game today wouldn’t affect their relationship.  
  
They reached the gym and parted ways there—Bobby headed off with his teammates to the locker room, while Jinhwan wandered over to the bleachers to take a seat. He wasn’t the only one from his school that had come a spectator, but he wasn’t really in the mood to be social with any of them at the moment. He liked sitting on his own to watch Bobby play so he could pay attention to the game.  
  
Just as he was about to sit down, though, he spotted him.  
  
Junhoe.  
  
Jinhwan might not have been feeling up to watching the game with his other school friends, but oddly enough he found the thought of Junhoe’s company appealing. They hadn’t seen each other since Hanbin’s boxing tournament, and Jinhwan was curious to see how Junhoe would react to him.  
  
He was going to be nice, though, whatever reaction Junhoe gave him. Or at least that was his plan. Sometimes things happen and he ends up speaking before thinking and it gets him in trouble. But he wanted to try. For Hanbin. Maybe for himself, too. Junhoe showed a sliver of a potential fun side on the weekend, and Jinhwan wouldn’t mind seeing if he could unearth a little more.  
  
He crossed the floor and didn’t pay any mind to the sets of eyes that followed him, going straight up to the top row where Junhoe was sitting in the middle. Jinhwan couldn’t help but stare a little appreciatively—Junhoe’s blonde hair suited him so well, and he had it swept back, a little spiky on top. Junhoe’s physical attractiveness definitely helped Jinhwan’s decision to play nice.  
  
Junhoe noticed Jinhwan as he was halfway up, eyes widening in surprise. He looked frozen for a moment and Jinhwan almost laughed, but Junhoe caught himself and nodded, and Jinhwan thought that meant that he wasn’t about to bolt away, at least.  
  
_Okay, be nice, be nice, be nice, be--_  
  
“Did you miss me? Want another kiss?” Jinhwan teased as he took a seat next to Junhoe. _Fuck, could he not go one meeting without teasing Junhoe?!_  
  
Junhoe looked away and Jinhwan noticed how quickly his cheeks flushed. _Cute._  
  
“Kidding! I just wanted to come over and say hi before the game starts. Thought the boys might appreciate us being social on our own.” He tried to lighten things back up and hoped that Junhoe wouldn’t get flustered and retract.  
  
Junhoe couldn’t believe his luck! Did Hanbin know Jinhwan was coming to watch? Why hadn’t he gotten a warning?! He’d been excited at the prospect of finally having some time by himself to watch the game (originally Donghyuk had said that he’d come and watch it with him, because he liked basketball, and Junhoe had thought about developing a case of food poisoning just to get out of it because he was _done_ being social for this week, but then Donghyuk had opted this morning in favour of a study session with a teacher instead and Junhoe had been so relieved he’d felt like crying) and now Jinhwan was here?!  
  
It’s not like he could tell him to go away. Junhoe was many things (cold, aloof, socially awkward) but _rude_ wasn’t one of them. His only hope was that one of the senior classmen might spot Jinhwan as an opposing student and tell him to go sit on his side of the gym. Until then, Junhoe would just have to put up with him.  
  
It would have been a hell of a lot easier if Jinhwan hadn’t brought up the damn _kiss!_ Junhoe had finally managed to go a whole day without randomly thinking about it. And now this?!  
  
Jinhwan waited for his response, wondered what was on Junhoe’s mind. Had he screwed up a potential bonding moment by teasing him? He was still trying to figure out how to work Junhoe, and now he knew for sure that teasing was really going to have to take a back seat if he had any hope of some semblance of friendship.  
  
Maybe he should go back over with his classmates? Give Junhoe some space? He really didn’t want to, but he was reminded again of Seiyeon’s lecture on selfish behaviour. Of the two of them, Junhoe was clearly the one who was having a tougher time dealing with him. Jinhwan really ought to put his needs first.  
  
“I don’t want to bother you for the whole game, don’t worry! Like I said, just coming over to say hi.” Jinhwan was about to stand up and head back over, but Junhoe’s entire demeanor suddenly changed.  
  
“No, stay here!” Junhoe wasn’t looking at him, though, and Jinhwan followed his line of sight down to the gym doors, wondering what had Junhoe suddenly eager for him to remain? Someone had just entered the gym and was looking around in the stands, and suddenly the figure was waving at them.  
  
“Oh hey, isn’t that the kid from boxing?” Jinhwan recognized the guy, the one who’d been looking for info on joining Hanbin’s gym. Donghyuk?  
  
Junhoe grumbled under his breath and grudgingly confirmed Jinhwan’s suspicion. “Yeah, that’s him.”  
  
Jinhwan noticed that Junhoe didn’t sound pleased about Donghyuk, but before he had a chance to ask, Donghyuk’s smiling face was right there in front of them.  
  
“Teacher had to cancel, so I decided to come watch the game!” He exclaimed, eyes on Junhoe briefly before shifting to Jinhwan. “You’re the guy from the tournament! Ah, I forgot your name though, I’m sorry!” Donghyuk’s smile was still bright but a little sheepish and Jinhwan thought he was just _adorable._  
  
He patted the seat next to him. “Jinhwan! You’re Donghyuk, right?”  
  
Donghyuk nodded and sat down. “Ah, I feel even worse now, you remembered my name and I forgot yours!”  
  
Jinhwan grinned and patted his knee. “Don’t feel bad! I’m sure you’ve met a ton of new people this week, you have way more new names to remember than me.” Jinhwan liked him immediately. Donghyuk was warm and friendly and practically the polar opposite of Junhoe.  
  
Junhoe was glad to at least have Jinhwan as a buffer between he and Donghyuk. Like he’d told Yunhyeong, it’s not that he disliked Donghyuk. Not at all! Donghyuk was a really nice guy, super friendly, and under normal circumstances Junhoe would easily accept him as a friend. He’d even be super protective of him.  
  
But God Junhoe was _tired_ of constantly being around him, because Donghyuk was all energy, all the time; it’s tough for him to handle. It was funny, though. A minute ago and he’d wanted nothing more than for Jinhwan to excuse himself away to the other side of the gym, and now Junhoe wanted to hug him in relief for staying. If a senior classman came by now and tried to kick Jinhwan out of their section, Junhoe would fight for him to stay.  
  
Jinhwan was piecing together the same concept. It was like the tournament—Junhoe had spent weeks being uncomfortable with the very idea of Bobby existing in the same space, but then as soon as Jinhwan had shown up and gotten in Junhoe’s face, he’d warmed up to Bobby.  
  
Maybe the key to Junhoe was being the lesser of two evils? Jinhwan thought it was kind of cute, really. When presented with two poor options, most people would simply flee the scene. Junhoe instead sought to make the less irritating option into a good option.  
  
Jinhwan could work with that.  
  
“So, Jinhwan, how come I haven’t seen you around school?” Donghyuk asked as he propped his backpack up behind him.  
  
“I don’t go here,” Jinhwan admitted, “I’m only here for the game.”  
  
The look on Donghyuk’s face was comical at first, but then he let out a sigh of understanding. “Ah, right, you’re best friends with Bobby! Of course you go to his school.” There was another surprised look on Donghyuk’s face then and again Jinhwan thought it was a little funny, almost felt like laughing.  
  
“If you’re best friends with Bobby, then are you older too?” Donghyuk asked in a bit of a panic, and Jinhwan grinned at him.  
  
“Yeah, if you’re the same age as Hanbin and Junhoe, then I’m a year older than you.”  
  
Donghyuk clumsily half bowed right there next to him. “Ah, I’m sorry! I haven’t been speaking respectfully to you--”  
  
“It’s okay!” Jinhwan laughed at him. God, Donghyuk was _so cute!_ “Relax, it’s not a big deal.”  
  
Donghyuk looked half relieved, but half upset still. “It’s just that, after living in the United States for so long, I keep forgetting about age ranks. People don’t care in America, if someone’s older than you it’s not a big deal, just don’t be a jerk and everyone gets along.”  
  
“Really? Sounds kind of nice, to be honest. Less complicated socially.” Jinhwan replied.  
  
“Is it ever,” Donghyuk whined, “I keep getting busted by older students for not speaking respectfully to them. So, uh, it’s been tough settling back in.”  
  
Jinhwan heard the little wobble in Donghyuk’s voice and his eyes were on him immediately. “Are you getting shit for it?”  
  
Donghyuk shrugged and smiled at him, and even though he barely knew him, Jinhwan could tell the smile was fake. “Ah, it’s not a big deal. It’s not like I walk around wearing a sign that says _‘I just moved back after spending five years in the US, go easy on me’!_ I shouldn’t be forgetting so much, it’s not like I didn’t spend over half my life here as a kid.”  
  
Jinhwan frowned. Donghyuk had him feeling protective already! He put an arm around his shoulders and hugged him a bit closer. “Ah, don’t worry about those people! They should be able to figure it out. I mean it’s not like you’re speaking rudely to them, right? Sometimes people pay too much attention to what you say, when they should be paying attention to _how_ you say it. It would be one thing if you refused to use honorifics and talked shit to their faces too. Then you know it’s intentional. But if you’re being nice and forget to use them, they should understand that you don’t mean it disrespectfully.”  
  
Of course Jinhwan was aware that he was being highly hypocritical at the moment. He busted guys _all the time_ for not speaking to him respectfully. Donghyuk’s situation had him second guessing his own actions though, and from now on he would try and take his own advice.  
  
Donghyuk brightened up at Jinhwan’s comments. “Ah, thanks! Um, is it okay if I call you hyung?”  
  
Jinhwan smiled at him. “Of course!”  
  
Junhoe listened to their exchange, a guilty feeling creeping up from the pit of his stomach. He didn’t know Donghyuk had been having a difficult time readjusting to life in Korea. Yunhyeong’s advice haunted him: ‘ _Maybe, instead of complaining about him, you could try paying attention to Donghyuk?’_ No wonder he’d been glued to Hanbin if he’d been having problems connecting with everyone else. As annoying and exhausting as he could be at times, now that Junhoe knew he was having trouble, he was going to have to help him out a little.  
  
The sooner Donghyuk adjusted, the sooner he could make more friends and maybe not be stuck to their sides all the time?  
  
“Who’s giving you shit?” Junhoe asked, peeking around Jinhwan. “Everyone knows you’re the guy that just moved back from America, no one should be bugging you.”  
  
Donghyuk looked a little surprised at the question but he smiled and shrugged it off. “Ah, it’s not a big deal! I don’t keep track or anything.” The shift in his attitude was noticeable, though, the momentary drop nothing but a blip on the radar.  
  
“Well, if anyone bugs you again, let me know who and I’ll have a chat with them.” Junhoe meant it, too. He hated bullying behaviour.  
  
“What are you going to do? Tell off an older student?” Jinhwan teased, but he was curious. He wouldn’t put it past Junhoe to do exactly that.  
  
“Being older doesn’t give you a free pass to be an asshole, so yeah, I would.” Junhoe answered, and he looked Jinhwan in the eyes as he said it. He didn’t mean it aggressively, though. He was actually pleased that Jinhwan had seemed so concerned for Donghyuk, especially when he barely knew him. It was yet another sliver of proof that probably meant that Jinhwan really wasn’t so bad.  
  
Jinhwan just grinned back, satisfied with Junhoe’s answer. He could appreciate Junhoe’s blunt behaviour if it was being used to protect someone else.  
  
Any further conversation was cut off then as the announcer gave a ten minute warning call for the game to start. Donghyuk bounced excitedly next to Jinhwan, his eager puppy behaviour back in place. He was happy to have found Jinhwan here, relieved at how welcoming he was. Donghyuk was having more trouble fitting back in than he wanted to let on, and so far the only guys who gave him the time of day were Hanbin and Junhoe (Hanbin moreso than Junhoe). It was an uncomfortable situation because Donghyuk was such a social butterfly. He’d gone from having a mountain of friends, from being class president every year, to being an outcast.  
  
He was trying to find his way, and while Hanbin was always really nice, Donghyuk had been starting to feel like Junhoe didn’t like him much. Maybe he just had a hard personality to gauge, though? He seemed friendlier now.  
  
While they continued discussions in the stands, Bobby was rallying his team in the locker room, giving them a last minute pep talk. As the captain, that was Bobby’s responsibility. It was a hard won responsibility, at that. When he’d decided to come out last year, he’d gotten a cold response from most of the team. He’d spent the year proving himself over again, and by the end of the season the decision to name Bobby as the replacement for their graduating captain had been unanimous.  
  
It was a good feeling, knowing that he’d probably single-handedly changed some stances on what gay guys were like. There was still prejudice, though, and of course some of the guys still didn’t like that he was open about being gay. But he’d earned his support, and it felt good.  
  
Nobody knew he was dating the star point forward of the opposing team, though, and Bobby and Hanbin had decided to keep that information strictly private. While some of his teammates knew he had a new boyfriend, none of them knew who he was. Bobby had tried to keep details to himself, but Hanbin’s name had slipped out a few times (first name only, never family name).  
  
He really hoped nothing came out today. It would just make things too awkward.  
  
Hanbin was thinking the same, his mind half on the pre-game pep talk going on in his team’s locker room, and half on what it was going to be like, playing Bobby’s team. Hanbin had faced a similar tough time with his basketball teammates coming to grips with his sexuality, but with the amount of points Hanbin scored during their last season, the complaints had ground to a minimum.  
  
Things were going well for him this year, even with the position change. He’d been playing as a shooting guard last year, but with a few key forwards graduating off the team, his coach had decided to try him out in the small forward role instead. Hanbin had gone into it brimming with confidence on the outside, but he’d been nervous on the inside. He’d been used to scoring plenty of baskets from the three point line, hanging back out of the main action, and now he was right up front.  
  
Turns out he’d been worried for nothing. Aside from good shooting skills, one thing he’d come to cherish about being up front was having more of a hand in controlling the flow of action. The combination of he and point guard Yoongi’s plays had yielded to even greater team chemistry on the court this season. On top of all that, there was yet one more skill Hanbin had discovered about himself.  
  
Drawing fouls.  
  
All in all, it had really carved out a very special niche for him in the team, and he relished being untouchable. It was a good feeling, when everyone recognized how important you were.  
  
But how would it go today, playing Bobby’s team? As luck would have it, Hanbin had been injured last season when the teams had played (and he’d even been too grumpy about it to want to watch the game, conveniently using a science project as a means to escape coming out to watch—of course he hadn’t bothered to tell anyone that the project was only extra credit, something he’d asked his teacher specifically to assign him to get him out of watching).  
  
He’d grown up since then, though, and he’d never miss a game (even one he couldn’t play in) if he could help it.  
  
Game time came and Hanbin couldn’t stop himself from looking for Bobby, smiling when he caught his eye. He really hoped the game wasn’t going to cause any trouble for them, because they were both highly competitive people. Hanbin hated losing, though he was okay at dealing with loss when he’d done his best and was simply outclassed by someone else.  
  
Bobby had a tougher time dealing with defeat, sulky and grumpy after losing. They’d promised to meet later regardless of the outcome, loser buys the winner dinner. Maybe dessert too.  
  
The game started out quick, with Hanbin’s team taking the lead early on. Bobby saw it all from his position on the court as point guard, saw the dangerous combination of Hanbin and his team’s captain. Bobby tried to adjust on the fly, directing his team in a way to attempt to minimize Hanbin’s skills up front.  
  
But damn if Hanbin wasn’t quick on his feet!  
  
Bobby groaned when the referee called Seunghoon on a foul against Hanbin-- _again._ It was like everything he’d told them prior to the game was clearing out of their heads. Bobby stood on the line and watched as Hanbin effortlessly sunk both of his foul shots, putting his team up by seven points, now.  
  
Whatever, they could recover. Bobby looked to his coach and called for a line change. It was time to bring out their own secret weapon, power forward Chanwoo. On his way out Bobby grabbed his arm, speaking into Chanwoo’s ear. “Watch their number three, he keeps drawing fouls.”  
  
“Gotcha, hyung!” Chanwoo answered, eager to get his name on the scoreboard. Five minutes later and Chanwoo had managed to even the score up. Bobby and Hanbin were both taking a breather on their team’s benches, recharging before their next line change.  
  
Hanbin frowned as he watched Chanwoo sink a three point shot right before the buzzer ended the first quarter. Whatever. He was starting the second quarter, so he’d get his team ahead again _no problem._  
  
That was soon the theme of the entire game—each team leap frogging the other, passing the lead back and forth. Bobby commanded his side well, trying to avoid the magnetic pull Hanbin seemed to have when it came to fouling in the box. But Bobby’s rival, Yoongi, kept setting Hanbin up perfectly, either to sink baskets or draw fouls. Bobby was starting to fear that the final result would simply come down to the luck of the timer—who would have the ball at the final second?  
  
Halfway through the third quarter Bobby was hit with another concern. Hanbin was going in for a layup, only to be tripped up by one of Bobby’s centers, Jooheon. He hit the wood hard, knee first. Bobby barely held himself back from going over to him, reminding himself that this was not his place to be checking on him. Instead he rounded on Jooheon.  
  
“I told you to stop fouling him!” Bobby yelled, letting his frustration out on his teammate. Hanbin was hobbling off the court with help, and Bobby felt terrible. If Hanbin was really hurt…  
  
“It was an accident!” Jooheon yelled back, bristling at the censure.  
  
“The whole lot of you, it’s like you can’t stay away from him!” Bobby muttered, loud enough for Jooheon and the others to hear, but not for the crowd. He needed to cool off and get his head back on.  
  
“Why are you so upset?” Minhyuk, the line’s shooting guard, questioned. “I mean, not to be _that guy,_ but Jooheon did just take out their leading scorer. You’d think you’d be happy about that.”  
  
Bobby was about to answer, but Minhyuk’s comment reminded him that his anger had more to do with the fact that it was Hanbin who was hurt, and not that Jooheon had fouled him. He had to remember to react in his team’s best interests, and not his heart’s.  
  
“Yeah, I know, but I just don’t like the idea of us only winning because someone got injured,” Bobby said, trying to fake a reason for his anger, “I don’t want us to get a reputation as a team that fouls all the time. And you guys _have_ been all over him.”  
  
“Weren’t you the one telling us to be all over him?” Minhyuk asked. “He has a reputation for drawing fouls, I’m sure he’s not taking it personally.”  
  
“Yeah, yeah, just, be smart!” Bobby said. “I’m sick of giving up points on foul shots.” At that point the referee was calling for them to line up, Hanbin’s team taking those shots Bobby had just mentioned. Since Hanbin was injured, Yoongi took both of them in his place, netting both baskets.  
  
As they moved back into position to restart the game, Bobby held the ball and waited for Minhyuk to finish tying his laces back up.  
  
“Hey, hyung?” Chanwoo sidled up to Bobby, a mischievous glint in his eyes. “What was your boyfriend’s name again?” Chanwoo grinned at the momentary look of panic on Bobby’s face. “It was Hanbin, wasn’t it?”  
  
Bobby was going to murder this kid! Trust Chanwoo and his perceptive ways! “Whatever you’re insinuating Chanwoo, don’t. There’s more than just one Kim Hanbin in Seoul.”  
  
Chanwoo grinned even wider. “Thanks for confirming his family name, hyung!” Bobby nearly choked on his own saliva— _fuck!_ He couldn’t believe Chanwoo had baited him into revealing more information!  
  
Bobby looked at him with serious eyes that caught Chanwoo off guard. “Don’t say a word--”  
  
“Chill, hyung! Your secret’s safe with me.” Chanwoo winked at him. “And look, he’s not injured after all! So you don’t have to kill Jooheon.”  
  
Bobby looked back at their bench, watching as Hanbin got to his feet, jumping a few times on the spot to test his knee out. Bobby breathed a silent sigh of relief. He managed to catch Hanbin’s eye, who winked at him before turning back to his coach.  
  
Time to get his head back in the game.

* * *

  
The game ended up coming down to a matter of luck at the end after all. Right up until the final second on the clock, Bobby’s team had held onto a one point lead. Like clockwork though, Hanbin had drawn a foul and sunk both of his shots in order to secure victory. Junhoe grinned, leaning back against the wall and watching as Hanbin celebrated on the floor.  
  
“Ah, what a thrilling game!”  
  
Jinhwan frowned, disbelief at the last minute change in outcome. He could see it on Bobby’s face, the irritation of a defeat that he hadn’t been able to prevent. Oh well. He knew Bobby had plans with Hanbin for after the game, but given that Bobby had just lost, Jinhwan thought it might be prudent if they didn’t leave the boyfriends alone at the moment.  
  
“Wanna crash their date? Bobby said they made plans to have dinner after the game.” Jinhwan looked at Junhoe, hoping he’d say yes. Sitting with him during the game had been surprisingly fun. Junhoe had a great mind for snarky commentary, and Jinhwan had found himself laughing often. Donghyuk had eased into the conversation by the second half, and Jinhwan had noted that Junhoe actually seemed to go out of his way to include Donghyuk in the conversation more.  
  
“Is it loser pays?” Junhoe asked with a grin, and Jinhwan grinned back.  
  
“Unfortunately! Knowing Bobby, I thought it might be a good idea to drop in and ensure competition doesn’t get in the way of romance!” Jinhwan joked, pleased that Junhoe hadn’t declined.  
  
“Yeah, why not? I’ll never turn down free food!” Junhoe answered, surprising himself by accepting. Whatever. It didn’t mean anything.  
  
Donghyuk busied himself with his backpack while he listened to them discuss the post-game meal plans, quietly waiting to see if they’d extend the invite. He told himself not to be upset if they didn’t—he would almost be like a third (fifth?) wheel, after all. Boyfriends and their respective best friends.  
  
Jinhwan glanced briefly at Donghyuk, who seemed to be taking an extra long time with his backpack. He looked back at Junhoe, motioning to Donghyuk. Jinhwan wanted to invite him, but he remembered his thoughts from earlier: what would be best for Junhoe?  
  
Junhoe caught Jinhwan’s glance, and he was frozen momentarily as he debated his options. Invite Donghyuk? Make an excuse so it was only the four of them?  
  
No, that would be cruel.  
  
“You coming, Donghyuk?” Junhoe asked him, annoyed just a little when he saw Jinhwan smile at him out of the corner of his eye. Like a parent hoping their child would make the correct choice in some sort of test. But he focused back on Donghyuk just in time to see the look of relief that flashed across his face briefly before he locked it away behind a smile.  
  
“Ah, I don’t want to intrude! Are you sure? I do have a lot of homework, I could just go home.” _No, don’t give excuses!_ He knew it was just his own insecurity acting up, and he hoped Junhoe wouldn’t pounce on the opportunity to take the invitation back.  
  
“I wouldn’t ask if I wasn’t sure!” Junhoe replied. Maybe he should have been a little nicer in that reply? He thought about Donghyuk’s admissions earlier about having trouble fitting in. If Donghyuk declined dinner, Junhoe would just have to force him.  
  
Jinhwan covered any potential awkwardness from Junhoe’s blunt answer. “You’re coming! You have to meet Bobby properly, after all!”  
  
Donghyuk was convinced by their answers. “Okay, hyung! I’ll come!”  
  
Junhoe nodded, relieved the situation hadn’t gotten weird. Being super nice to everyone could be tiring, after a while. Donghyuk descended down the bleachers first, and before Junhoe made to follow him, Jinhwan looked back at him.  
  
“That was nice of you,” Jinhwan whispered, genuine smile on his face.  
  
It made Junhoe blush. He wasn’t used to dealing with people happily pointing out when he did something nice! “Yeah, well, I feel bad for him.” Okay, that was half true, but also half a cop out answer? Jinhwan just laughed though, and even though the laughter was directed _at Junhoe,_ he didn’t actually feel offended by it? It just felt like the teasing of a friend. Not that it made it any easier for Junhoe to accept it. “Ugh, whatever, hyung!”  
  
Jinhwan looked back at Junhoe with an expression that was all pleasure, and it took Junhoe a second to figure out why.  
  
Had he just called Jinhwan hyung?  
  
_Fuck._


	12. Dinosaur Style

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys enjoy a round of pizza, and perceptions change for the better.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I just wanted to say that I originally wasn't even going to write this scene!! I was going to skip over the dinner and move on! But a few people mentioned that they were looking forward to it, so I decided that I'd better write it. And man am I ever glad I did?? It actually turned out to be a very important scene! ♥

Since he was paying Bobby insisted on his favourite pizza place. They crowded into a booth, Bobby and Hanbin on one side, Junhoe and Jinhwan on the other, and Donghyuk in the middle. Hanbin couldn’t help but find it interesting that instead of maneuvering the layout so he’d be next to Donghyuk (or alone) Junhoe had instead allowed himself to sit next to Jinhwan. Unexpected.  
  
Of course, having their post-game date crashed was also unexpected, but maybe it was a good thing? Bobby was noticeably moody, which Hanbin had never experienced since they’d started dating. It was easy to understand, because the game had been so tight the entire way through, and Hanbin didn’t like losing either. It’s not that Bobby seemed upset with him at all—he was just quiet. Still smiling (maybe smiling a little too widely, a little fake?) but Hanbin could just _feel_ the tension Bobby was holding.   
  
Would it be better in a group? Had it been Jinhwan’s idea to crash the date, because he knew Bobby, knew he’d be weird after losing? As much as he was happy that they were doing a group thing (because it gave them all a chance to bond more) Hanbin had also been looking forward to having a night alone with Bobby. They hadn’t had the chance to have time by themselves since Hanbin had gone over to Bobby’s (which hadn’t lasted long, of course, because Jinhwan had intervened). Every time since then they’d been with their friends. He’d take whatever he could get, of course, but he wanted some degree of privacy too.   
  
Bobby’s mind was torn between trying to pay attention to the group and trying to process the game. Though he’d met his friends with a smile and hadn’t protested them coming along on the dinner date, he was honestly annoyed about it. He hated losing, hated coming in second. The fact that he’d lost to his boyfriend was strange. It’s not that he wanted to be able to rub Hanbin’s face in his victory, or anything, but it did feel just slightly intimidating?   
  
The whole relationship, sometimes, felt intimidating.   
  
Despite being younger, Hanbin just seemed more settled than Bobby felt—settled with his own self, with his needs and desires and abilities. That on its own was one issue, but when he topped it with how damn _good_ at everything Hanbin was? Boxing, school, his confidence in himself, even the way Hanbin spoke was impressive (Bobby sometimes felt like a kid when he listened to Hanbin talk). Now basketball? The one area where Bobby felt like maybe he could have beaten him?   
  
Ah, it was a dangerous line of thought, the need to compete with your boyfriend. It wasn’t important, none of it was. Bobby was sure he was only feeling this way because of the game, and because he suddenly had three more people to deal with. He’d be fine once he got over it. He didn’t want to seem like he was having a bad time, so he knew he had to be proactive if he was going to get his head on straight for the rest of the night.   
  
Bobby reached for Hanbin’s hand, squeezing it in his own. At least he had Hanbin beat there, he thought with a grin. Bobby had tough, masculine hands, while Hanbin’s were smaller, looked almost delicate. Which of course was hilarious, given that they could knock a guy three times his size out. Hanbin looked up at him then, eyes curious, lips softly smiling, cheeks all dimpled, and Bobby felt like he wanted to bury all of his concerns.   
  
None of it was important, not when Hanbin smiled at him like that.   
  
Hanbin wasn’t sure what the cause was, but Bobby seemed to be less tense suddenly. Even if they couldn’t be alone, Hanbin was at least happy that they had gotten a booth to sit in! He moved closer to Bobby, never once breaking their stare.   
  
“Can we at least order first, before you two start eating each other? I’m starving.” Jinhwan teased, grabbing a menu.   
  
“Starving for affection? I told you to get yourself a new boyfriend!” Bobby teased back, his mood bubbling back up. All Hanbin’s doing.   
  
“You even have two eligible bachelors to choose from, right here!” Hanbin added, grinning and winking at Junhoe, who was suddenly red faced (a fact that wasn’t lost on Hanbin).   
  
“Ah yes, my choice between the strong, silent type, and the bubbly angel!” Jinhwan replied, looking at Junhoe and laughing before looking at Donghyuk and winking.   
  
“I’d go for the bubbly angel,” Hanbin teased, “the other one might seem like the strong and silent type, but once you get to know him, you realize he becomes irritatingly loud, all the time!”   
  
“Shut up, Hanbin!” Junhoe replied, glaring across the table at him.   
  
“Ah I see what you mean,” Jinhwan replied, looking at Junhoe and grinning, “the type who likes to hear himself talk?”   
  
“You’ll be lucky if it’s only talking!” Hanbin answered. “If you get him singing, then you’re in trouble!”   
  
“I’ll have you know, I have a great singing voice!” Junhoe answered, clearly annoyed.   
  
“Does he?” Jinhwan asked Hanbin.   
  
Hanbin locked eyes with Junhoe, amused at his reaction. Contrary to the grumpy outward behaviour Junhoe was actually in a good mood. Hanbin knew that if he was truly upset he’d be dead quiet. As long as Junhoe was yelling and drawing attention to himself, he was fine.   
  
“It’s decent at best.” Hanbin answered, and Junhoe scoffed out loud in utter disgust while the others laughed.   
  
“We’ll have to have a demonstration later, then!” Jinhwan ventured. “I sing too, so maybe a sing off?”   
  
“Me too!” Donghyuk added. “We can start our own vocal group!”   
  
“Excuse me, there are five of us here?” Hanbin added. “Bobby and I can rap, so together we can form an idol group!”   
  
Bobby loudly protested, shaking his head. “No! I refuse! Jinan makes me watch enough idol music shows, I’m not doing it!”   
  
“Don’t be a spoil sport!” Jinhwan admonished. “Be a team player!”   
  
“No way! Do you see how they make some of those groups dress? Not happening.” Bobby adamantly refused.   
  
“Funny that the one guy here who only does team sports is the only one who’s not being a team player!” Hanbin teased, clinging to Bobby’s arm and pulling him closer.   
  
“Good point. Gonna have to strip you of that captain’s position!” Jinhwan added, while Bobby continued to grumble.   
  
“Maybe he’s just not that good?” Junhoe cut in, outwardly happy now that someone else was the target.   
  
It was Bobby’s turn to get ruffled. “I’m actually a pretty decent rapper! I could probably make it on Show Me The Money!” Okay, that was a stretch—he had the voice for it, sure, but he didn’t exactly write enough of his own stuff to seriously contemplate it. But no one needed to know that.   
  
“Why don’t we go do karaoke after we eat?” Donghyuk suggested.   
  
“That’s actually not a bad idea!” Hanbin agreed.   
  
“Let’s do it!” Jinhwan agreed, looking at Bobby and hoping he wouldn’t protest. But Bobby was all smiles at Hanbin’s excitement, and he was certain Bobby would come along.   
  
They ordered soon after, two large pizzas to share between them (Jinhwan offered to pay for one, since he was the reason the party was bigger) and they even managed to talk about the game without Bobby getting moody (which Jinhwan found very interesting—it had to be Hanbin’s influence, which he thought was rather cute).   
  
Talking about basketball naturally led to school, and that’s when the first problem popped up. Everything was fine until Hanbin and Donghyuk got to talking about math, and Hanbin let it slip that Junhoe wasn’t exactly the sharpest student in that particular subject.   
  
“Wait—you’re having trouble with _integers?!”_ Donghyuk crowed, looking at Hanbin and laughing heartily.   
  
Hanbin thought it was every bit just as funny. “Right? I don’t get it, he even has a tutor specifically for math, and he’s still flunking the integer section!” Hanbin quickly met Junhoe’s gaze, feeling a little guilty for outing his secret failure. It wasn’t the first time, though, Junhoe wouldn’t hold it against him.   
  
“Shut up, Hanbin!” Junhoe yelled, annoyed at him for talking about it.   
  
“Integers, though?” Donghyuk repeated, giggling into his fist. Okay, maybe this wasn’t winning him any points with Junhoe, but still!   
  
“God, both of you, fuck off!” Junhoe’s previous good mood was seriously starting to deteriorate. This was _exactly_ why he was concerned about Donghyuk’s addition. He was used to Hanbin teasing him about math, but Hanbin was his _best friend_ and there were certain things that best friends could get away with doing that regular friends couldn’t. But Donghyuk seemed to be every bit as smart as Hanbin, and Junhoe couldn’t help but worry. Would Donghyuk’s intelligence pull Hanbin away at all?   
  
Jinhwan thought it was all in good fun, but a momentary glance at Junhoe had him guessing otherwise. Usually he’d be annoyed by someone who had no problem dishing out teasing but couldn’t stand taking it, and a week ago he would have considered this as proof that Junhoe was definitely a spoiled brat.   
  
But he thought again about his behaviour in the gym before the game, the way he’d seemed uncomfortable with Donghyuk at first. Clearly it wasn’t a case of Junhoe disliking him, because they’d gotten friendly at the end. Jealousy, then? First he had to deal with Hanbin’s new boyfriend, and now suddenly he’s got a very loud, very in-your-face new friend, whose energy matches Hanbin’s much better than it matches Junhoe’s. Insecurity? Junhoe took a chance and invited Donghyuk, only for Donghyuk to turn around and join Hanbin in a bout of teasing?   
  
Well, if Junhoe needed someone on his side, Jinhwan could provide some back up.   
  
“Can we reschedule this discussion in a few hours when I need to go to bed? Cause you’re boring me to tears right now with all this math talk.” Jinhwan added, grinning good naturedly at Hanbin.   
  
“I’m sorry, is this going over your little pea brain, hyung?” Hanbin teased, amused that Jinhwan was joining in.   
  
“Sorry, the rest of us don’t speak nerd. But you and Donghyuk go on and do your little math equations! Junhoe and I will come find you later and kick your asses!” He nudged Junhoe, who looked at him and smiled.   
  
“The two of you think you could beat us?” Hanbin exclaimed, looking at Donghyuk. “Do you hear that? These jiu jitsu kids, they like to talk tough!”   
  
“It’s cute!” Donghyuk answered. “We could take them.”   
  
Jinhwan made a face at Junhoe, who was looking a little less upset at the moment now that everyone’s pride was equally up for grabs.   
  
“Take us where? Out to dinner as an apology for wasting our time?” Junhoe replied, face pinched in irritation, like he thought the conversation was below him.   
  
“Nah, more like take you to the hospital after we knock you on your asses.” Hanbin grinned at him.   
  
“The only doctor we’ll be seeing after we fight you is Doctor Feelgood!” Jinhwan answered, winking at Hanbin.   
  
“Is Doctor Feelgood a urologist?” Donghyuk asked, to whooping laughter from Hanbin and a look of resignation from Jinhwan.   
  
“Ah, fuck, you win this round, I can’t come back from that.” Jinhwan answered with a grin, impressed with Donghyuk’s quick witted comeback. He was fitting in nicely.   
  
“Ah, Donghyuk I didn’t know you had that in you!” Hanbin replied, reaching out to pat Donghyuk’s shoulder.   
  
“You’d be surprised at what I’ve had in me.” Donghyuk answered with an innocent smile, causing Hanbin to laugh again, and Junhoe to spit his drink out in shock.   
  
Bobby, however, was still stuck on Donghyuk’s joke. While Donghyuk and Jinhwan were busy teasing Junhoe, Bobby leaned over to put his mouth to Hanbin’s ear.   
  
“What’s a urologist?” Bobby asked, because he hated not understanding a joke.   
  
Hanbin grinned and turned to look at him. “It’s a doctor you go see when you have problems with your dick.”   
  
“Ah, like sex problems with your dick?” Bobby asked, and Hanbin nodded. Bobby grinned, impressed now that he understood the joke. Hanbin suddenly leaned into him and kissed his cheek, and Bobby smiled back at him. “What was that for?”   
  
Hanbin just smiled and shrugged. “Nothing.” But he looked away with an annoyingly smug expression.   
  
“What?” Bobby whined, chasing after him. “Why are you smiling like that?”   
  
“It’s just, that was cute.” Hanbin answered, which Bobby found infuriatingly not helpful.   
  
“What was cute?” By now the others were watching them, and Hanbin grinned.   
  
“When you two were busy teasing Junhoe, Bobby leaned over to me and asked _‘what’s a urologist?’_ ” Hanbin said, and it made Donghyuk and Jinhwan laugh.   
  
“Oh, that’s cute!” Donghyuk replied.   
  
Bobby felt like smacking Hanbin. “Hanbin! You’re making me look stupid!”   
  
“You’re not that stupid, hyung,” Junhoe interrupted, “I don’t know what a urologist is either.”  
  
“Ah, you’re both idiots, how cute!” Jinhwan teased. He patted Junhoe’s leg, who glared at him (but didn’t make a move to bat his hand away).   
  
While Junhoe was a little annoyed, it was mostly at Hanbin, but he still glared at Jinhwan for good measure. He was feeling oddly grateful, though, that Jinhwan had come to his defense earlier. It was weird and he wasn’t sure how he ought to feel about it. Jinhwan kept smiling at him too, and his smiles made Junhoe think about the damn kiss again! Everything seemed like it came so easily to Jinhwan, no expression ever looked awkward on his face. Not that he had a cute face, or anything. It was just a face.   
  
“I think you’re dating the wrong one, Hanbin!” Donghyuk teased, “you should date Jinhwan, and let Bobby and Junhoe date each other so their IQs match.”   
  
Hanbin was suckered in by Donghyuk’s giggling, not even disputing his suggestion. He really hoped neither of them would be upset with he and Donghyuk for the teasing. Bobby seemed fine, quietly shaking his head, so Hanbin looked at Junhoe, who looked just a tiny bit miffed. It wasn’t too bad though. Junhoe hadn’t retreated like he would have had he been truly offended.   
  
“Ah Junhoe, don’t worry! You don’t have to be smart, you’re pretty enough to get by on looks alone!” Hanbin teased him.   
  
Junhoe fought to keep the glare on his face, but Hanbin’s comment made him want to grin because honestly, it was kind of true? He was attractive, easily the hottest one in their group. He didn’t mind hearing it stated out loud.   
  
“Yeah don’t feel bad, Junhoe-ya!” Bobby added. “At least you’re pretty. I’m dumb _and_ I have an ugly face, so I’m screwed!”   
  
“You are not ugly!” Hanbin retorted.   
  
“Well I’m not pretty! It’s okay, I know my face isn’t my best feature.” Bobby grinned, looking from Hanbin to Jinhwan.   
  
“Wanna know what Bobby’s team nickname is?” Jinhwan asked, much to Bobby’s protests. But Hanbin was curious, begging gaze on Jinhwan.   
  
“Ah come on, Jinan, don’t sell me out like this!” Bobby complained.   
  
“They call him _Monkfish!”_ Jinhwan said, to muffled laughter from Hanbin, and a squeal of laughter from Donghyuk. “Go on, show them the face!” Jinhwan instructed Bobby.   
  
“Ah, seriously?” Bobby complained again, but he didn’t really mind. He’d made peace with the teasing almost as soon as it had started from his teammates. When you didn’t take insults personally, life got a lot easier. Now he played into it, had even developed a specific look for it that made his teammates laugh. It had gone from potentially insulting to an affectionate sort of teasing.   
  
“Do it!” Jinhwan carried on, grinning when Bobby made the face.   
  
Hanbin sighed and shook his head, playing along with the teasing. “I could have lived happily without seeing that.”   
  
“It looks scary at first, but there’s an addictive sort of quality to it?” Jinhwan added. “I have a picture of him doing it saved on my phone, every now and then I switch my lockscreen to it.”   
  
“Ah, Jinan!” Bobby yelled, groaning when Jinhwan showed them his phone lockscreen—that was currently the picture in question.   
  
Jinhwan sighed happily at it before putting his phone back down. “It’s a work of art.”   
  
Just then their pizzas arrived and they put aside their conversation momentarily for food. One slice later, though, and conversation was getting back on track.   
  
“So, hypothetically speaking, we do our own UFC tag team fight: Team Boxing vs Team Jiu Jitsu, who’s gonna win?” Hanbin asked, grinning at Junhoe.   
  
“You’re joking, right?” Junhoe asked, expression of disbelief on his face. “We’d mop the floor with you, no contest!” He and Hanbin often discussed who would win in a fight if they faced one another, and not once had they ever come to a happy conclusion.   
  
“Tough words coming from Junhoe the Janitor!” Donghyuk added, grinning when Junhoe looked at him with death in his eyes.   
  
“I already have a stage name, thank you!” Junhoe replied, glancing at Hanbin. “What was it again?”   
  
Hanbin laughed at the question, trying to remember what they’d come up with. “Jurassic Junhoe!”   
  
Junhoe grinned and nodded. “Yeah, that’s the one!”   
  
“Do you fight dinosaur style?” Donghyuk asked, happy when Junhoe actually laughed at the question.   
  
“He does! Show him the T-Rex Takedown!” Hanbin suggested, collapsing against Bobby when a fit of laughter took over. The others looked between Hanbin and Junhoe, who was still giggling as well, surprised at the sudden onslaught of laughter.   
  
Junhoe turned to Jinhwan, who was looking up at him in surprise. “Hold still, hyung, I’m gonna demonstrate!” Junhoe knew he probably looked ridiculous, but it was fine. It felt good to laugh, felt good to have a sudden reminder of the stupid shit he and Hanbin usually did, before things had gotten complicated recently.   
  
He pulled his arms in close to his chest, hands flailing in mimicry of a T-Rex dinosaur, before getting to his feet and draping himself over Jinhwan’s back. He pressed one wrist into the side of Jinhwan’s neck and tried to wrap the other as far around Jinhwan’s throat as it would go (which of course wasn’t far at all). He couldn’t look at Hanbin at the moment, not until he finished explaining the move, at least. “Then you just, give a little headbutt and drag you down to the ground!”   
  
Jinhwan thought it was both the cutest and dumbest thing he’d ever heard, and he decided then that his entire perception of Junhoe had indeed been wrong from the beginning. The arrogant, haughty brat was clearly an act for the mat. This was the real Junhoe.   
  
He quite liked the real Junhoe.   
  
“Sit down, you idiot!” Jinhwan shoved him back towards his chair, unable to help but laugh. God, Junhoe had an infectious laugh? Jinhwan couldn’t help but stare at him. Junhoe’s entire face scrunched up in a really cute way when he laughed, and Jinhwan was happy he was getting to see it now. He looked quickly across the table at Hanbin, who was still laughing hard. “You guys are ridiculous.”   
  
“Did you have a dinosaur name too?” Bobby asked Hanbin, wiping the tears out of his eyes. Seeing Hanbin and Junhoe have a momentary meltdown laughing over stupid things was actually really nice to see. Like Jinhwan, Bobby thought that they were finally getting to see the real Junhoe, and he understood why Hanbin would put up with some of his more trying behaviour. It was worth it when someone could make you laugh that hard.   
  
Hanbin grinned at the question and looked around the table before settling his gaze back on Bobby. “Oh yeah, I was Herbivore Hanbin! Instead of boxing gloves, I’m gonna fight with two heads of lettuce on my fists!” Hanbin answered, and it sent he and Junhoe collapsing into a fit of fresh giggles.   
  
Bobby looked at Jinhwan, both of them shaking their heads in equal parts confusion, embarrassment, and amusement. It was cute but so stupid.   
  
Donghyuk, on the other hand, was laughing so hard over the whole thing he was laying on his arms, one fist pounding the table top.   
  
It took a few minutes, but eventually everyone calmed down, sitting up and wiping the tears of laughter off their faces. Junhoe was feeling good, grateful they’d had the opportunity to share something stupid about themselves. The laughter had been a good balm for the bits of awkward tension that had cropped up throughout the day.   
  
Jinhwan reached for another slice of pizza, hungry again after laughing. “We never did resolve our debate, though. Bobby! What’s your opinion, as an uninformed third party? Boxing or jiu jitsu?” Jinhwan asked, putting him on the spot.   
  
“No way! I am not getting involved!” Bobby answered, shaking his head and grabbing another slice of pizza. “You can’t make me pick!”   
  
“Oh you’re picking a side, alright!” Jinhwan replied. “Don’t forget who sleeps just down the hall from you every night!”   
  
“He can buy a lock for his door!” Hanbin replied, throwing his arm around Bobby’s shoulders. “But if he ever wants to sleep in the same bed as me, then he’d better pick boxing!” Hanbin threatened, all up in Bobby’s face. Bobby actually blushed at the warning.   
  
“Oh that’s cold!” Jinhwan said.   
  
“You shut your mouth!” Hanbin teased him back. “As I remember it, you were the one who got in our way the first time we really had a chance to make out!”   
  
Jinhwan grinned and shook his head, playing ignorant. “I don’t remember that.”   
  
“You’re so lucky I didn’t kill you that day!” Bobby replied.   
  
“What happened?” Donghyuk asked, grinning as he looked between them.   
  
“Well, I was visiting Bobby, no one was home--”   
  
“Hanbin! They don’t need details!” Bobby jumped in, amused that they were actually talking about this.   
  
“Speak for yourself, details are welcome!” Donghyuk replied with a grin.   
  
“They were in bed together!” Jinhwan added, winking at Donghyuk. “Not really doing much, it was pretty tame!”   
  
“We were just getting started!” Bobby replied.   
  
“I thought you didn’t want to give any details?” Hanbin teased him back.   
  
“Anyway, so I may have been watching for just a bit--” Jinhwan began before Donghyuk cut him off.   
  
“Wait you were _watching_ them while they were making out?” Donghyuk asked, face drawn open in shock.   
  
“Yeah and when nothing exciting happened, I decided to interrupt.” Jinhwan replied, grinning at Bobby, who looked nearly murderous.   
  
“It was such bad timing!” Hanbin replied, eyes sweeping around the table. Even Junhoe was grinning, which made him happy to see.   
  
“It was really a test, though! See they’d just started dating, so I wanted to make sure Hanbin was a good kid!” Jinhwan admitted, winking at Hanbin.   
  
Junhoe nodded beside him. “I can understand that.”   
  
“No! You guys are crazy, you don’t test your best friend’s boyfriend!” Hanbin replied, mostly just to play into their comments.   
  
“You absolutely have to! I’m glad you feel the same way. They’re lucky to have us.” Jinhwan said, looking at Junhoe.   
  
“They don’t deserve us.” Junhoe replied, pleased that Jinhwan was playing right into his own thoughts. He was still a little guarded about it, still confused about _why_ Jinhwan seemed so intent on forging an actual friendship. Was he still trying to make up for his initial blunder? Did he actually _want_ to be friends? Junhoe knew that if he asked Hanbin, he’d say that obviously Jinhwan legitimately wanted to be friends. But Junhoe couldn’t forget that initial feeling he had. He couldn’t just ignore that and pretend it had never happened.   
  
But still. Junhoe _liked_ this friendly version of Jinhwan. Their personalities matched up pretty well. Hopefully time would prove that Jinhwan wasn’t just being a manipulative asshole.   


* * *

  
  
_Sing us something romantic!_ Bobby had asked, jokingly, of course, but he should have known better. He was sitting on the couch, Hanbin cuddled underneath his arm, and they were twenty minutes into watching their friends performing a Michael Jackson medley. It had started with _‘Remember The Time’_ (Junhoe’s pick) before moving on to Jinhwan’s selection _‘The Way You Make Me Feel’_ (complete with an altered opening line of “hey pretty boy with the high tops on”) before Donghyuk had made them sing _‘You Are Not Alone’_ . After the romantic medley was finished, they’d continued with more Michael Jackson songs, punctuating some of them with surprisingly decent attempts at the choreography.   
  
While it wasn’t exactly the kind of night Bobby had been looking forward to, he was happy that despite having company, he and Hanbin still had a chance to be cuddly. He’d happily let the other three dominate the song selections for the rest of their time as long as Hanbin didn’t leave his side.   
  
Hanbin was of the exact same opinion. At first he’d had every intention of singing, but he was too comfortable now on the couch with Bobby’s arm around him. This was exactly what he’d been hoping for tonight, the chance to be close. So what if their friends were right there? They were pretty engrossed in the music. Hanbin grinned as he watched Junhoe showing off his Moonwalk—they’d taken a special dance class together when they were thirteen, learning iconic Michael Jackson moves.   
  
It was a nice way to end the night. The moments of awkward tension from dinner were gone completely now (Hanbin was thankful that Donghyuk was such a big Michael Jackson fan, it was an easy way to forge a bond with Junhoe) and Hanbin wasn’t entirely certain, but he thought that maybe, just _maybe,_ it seemed like Junhoe and Jinhwan were really connecting? He hadn’t seen Junhoe smiling and laughing so much in a while, at least, Junhoe’s good mood carrying over from dinner.   
  
It was nice after weeks of moody Junhoe. Hanbin finally had real hope that everything would work out well. Maybe even better than expected? He craned his neck to look at Bobby, who was watching the other three dancing with an amused grin on his face. Hanbin took his phone out, typing a message to Bobby, because this wasn’t exactly a conversation he wanted to have out loud, even if the subjects weren’t paying them any attention.   
  
He nudged Bobby when he sent it, motioning to his phone. Bobby looked confused but took his phone out, reading the message and laughing right away.   
  
_-call me crazy but i think they might hook up?-_   
  
Bobby answered back.   
  
_-ur crazy!! wishful thinking??-_ _  
_ _  
_ _-no way! you think jinan wouldnt go for it?-_ _  
_ _  
_ _-jinan yeah, probly, but junhoe?? u think??-_ _  
_ _  
_ _-i havent seen him this happy since i broke up with woosung, haha-_   
  
Bobby actually snorted at Hanbin’s answer, pulling him closer and muffling his laughter in his hair. Hanbin laughed too, watching to make sure they didn’t draw the others’ attention. They were focused on the screen, though, trying to harmonize their way through _‘Will You Be There’._   
  
After a moment of watching them (and now that Bobby was looking for it, he couldn’t help but notice that they did seem to be paying extra attention to each other) he whispered into Hanbin’s ear.   
  
“Do you think we should let them, though?” He still wasn’t convinced there was anything there, wasn’t sure why Hanbin was suddenly thinking of the possibility. Bobby just wanted them to be friends. Anything more might complicate matters.   
  
Hanbin grinned at the question, because Bobby definitely had a point. If they did hook up, the relationship would probably be way more volatile than his relationship with Bobby. Would Junhoe’s pride get in the way of Jinhwan’s teasing nature? Or would they call a truce between themselves and only team up on other people? And what about their jiu jitsu rivalry? How would that work out?   
  
Of course nothing might come of any of it, and he might just be seeing something that wasn’t really there. Wishful thinking, like Bobby had said. But was that so bad, anyway? To want their best friends to date? He knew Junhoe could be a bit of a handful, but he felt like Jinhwan might just be okay with that? He’d have to watch for more signs.   
  
Hanbin kissed Bobby’s neck right by his ear before whispering an answer. “I think we should subtly encourage it if it starts happening.” Bobby laughed and kissed Hanbin again, wondering if they were setting themselves up for disaster.   
  
While he didn’t doubt for a second that Jinhwan would probably go for Junhoe, given the chance (because Junhoe _was_ Jinhwan’s type, or at least as much his type as Bobby knew) he didn’t know if Jinhwan would actually be serious about it. Any time Bobby tried to grill Jinhwan on his future plans his best friend was annoyingly tight lipped. Jinhwan wouldn’t risk screwing things up that badly just for a bit of fun, would he?   
  
No, of course he wouldn’t. Bobby was worried for nothing.   
  
So when Hanbin texted him again a minute later, Bobby laughed.   
  
_-ok so i give them a month. if it takes longer than that for the hook up, ill take you out for dinner or whatever you want!-_ _  
_ _  
_ _-n if they dont hook up at all??-_ _  
_ _  
_ _-you still win! we got a deal?-_ _  
_ _  
_ Bobby looked back up at the pair for a second, watching them and trying to gauge their levels of interest.   
  
_-yeah we got a deal!!-_


	13. The Princess & The Pea

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nothing like a little makeup to bring two awkward people closer together.

“What colour do you want, oppa?”  
  
Junhoe looked down at the two little compacts of eye shadow Hanbyul was holding and tried to suppress a grin. “Use them both!”   
  
“Okay!”   
  
He was currently at Hanbin’s, “helping” him to babysit his sister for the night. Hanbin’s parents were out for some overnight business trip, and Junhoe had come home with him right after class. Hanbin was making them dinner (really only reheating something his mother had left, but he’d made a big deal over needing to concentrate on it so he didn’t ruin it) leaving Junhoe to entertain Hanbyul.   
  
When she’d asked him if she could do his makeup, he hadn’t had the heart to refuse her, and now he was sitting on her bed with absurdly red cheeks, about to have blue and purple eyeshadow applied. He was afraid to see what colour lipstick she was going to make him wear.   
  
Hanbyul hummed to herself as she set about brushing eye shadow over his eyelids, and Junhoe wondered how much of it was getting on his cheeks compared to his eyes? Ah, it was worth it just to keep her happy, he supposed. There were worse ways he could be spending his evening.   
  
“I’m finished!” Hanbyul said, and Junhoe opened his eyes, making a face while he looked at her that sent her giggling.   
  
“How does it look?” He asked, fluttering his eyelids at her.   
  
“Gorgeous!” Came Hanbin’s reply, who was standing in the door to the room. “Byul-ah, you’re getting so good at this!”   
  
“I made you pretty, oppa!” Hanbyul said to Junhoe, before looking back at her brother.   
  
“I just came by to tell you dinner’s almost ready,” Hanbin said, before grinning at Junhoe, “and we have guests coming over.” Hanbin didn’t have to clarify who the guests were—Junhoe could tell.   
  
“Seriously?” Junhoe whined, though he didn’t really mind. Okay maybe he wasn’t excited to have Bobby and Jinhwan see him wearing a face full of badly applied make up, but whatever. He’d promised Hanbyul he’d keep it on for a while, and if either of them had a problem with it they’d have to face her wrath, and not his.   
  
“Yep! Byul-ah, make sure you give him some pretty lipstick!” Hanbin added before disappearing again.   
  
“Who is the guest, oppa?” Hanbyul asked Junhoe, back at her desk to pick out some lipstick.   
  
“Do you remember Bobby and Jinhwan?” Junhoe asked, and Hanbyul nodded.   
  
“From Hanbin-ie oppa’s boxing day? They’re _both_ coming?” Hanbyul asked, excitement in her voice.   
  
Junhoe had a sudden thought that would certainly help him out. “Yeah, they probably heard how good you are at doing makeup and wanted to see for themselves!”  
  
Hanbyul picked out a shade and popped back up in front of him. “Do you think they will let me do makeup on their faces?” She asked him, hopeful expression lighting up her eyes.   
  
Junhoe grinned at her. “I think so! Make sure you ask them nicely, they might be too shy to say yes at first.” Oh, this would be good! He pursed his lips for her then so she could apply the lipstick, not even flinching when she accidentally got some on his chin. No big deal.   
  
He heard Hanbin talking and knew the other two must have arrived, but Hanbyul was still finishing his lipstick. Seconds later and a gasp at the door had him opening his eyes to see Jinhwan.   
  
“Who is this pretty girl, and why hasn’t Hanbin ever introduced me?” He asked, grinning at the sight of Junhoe sporting a face full of makeup.   
  
Hanbyul got a little shy at his appearance, smiling at him but not replying, instead abandoning her lipstick and clinging to Junhoe’s arm. Junhoe patted her on the head and looked up at Jinhwan, a challenging look on his face. One more shot for Jinhwan to slip up and act like a jerk.

“Byul-ah, remember what I told you?” He focused his sight back on Hanbyul, who was looking up at him. “Why don’t you go and ask?”  
  
She smiled and nodded before shyly walking over to Jinhwan. He crouched down in front of her and smiled back.   
  
“Did you do his makeup all by yourself?” Jinhwan asked her, and she nodded. “You’re so good!”   
  
Hanbyul smiled and reached out to touch his arm. “Oppa, can I do makeup for you too?”   
  
Jinhwan hadn’t been expecting that. He’d been trying to hold in laughter over seeing Junhoe with a ridiculous layer of makeup on (he didn’t want to hurt Hanbyul’s feelings, after all, even if Junhoe looked hilarious) but was he seriously going to subject himself to the same horror? He quickly looked back at Junhoe, who was watching him carefully, waiting for his answer. Apparently he had no choice but to say yes.   
  
“Of course you can!”   
  
Hanbyul responded with excitement, while Junhoe sported an amused smirk. It was actually cute, when he thought about it, that Junhoe would let Hanbin’s little sister slather makeup all over his face. Not a lot of guys would be willing to subject themselves to the whims of a four year old girl, and Junhoe hadn’t exactly looked embarrassed to be seen like this. He obviously seemed to care about her a lot.   
  
Jinhwan stood up and grinned when Hanbyul grabbed his hand and pulled him over to sit on her bed next to Junhoe, and the closer he was the more Jinhwan wanted to laugh. It looked even more ridiculous up close.   
  
“What colours should I put on you, oppa?” Hanbyul asked, looking at her array of cheap makeup.   
  
Jinhwan was still looking at Junhoe, still trying not to laugh. “Um, I’m from Jeju Island, so you should make me look like an orange!” He suggested, pleased when Junhoe had to bite back his own laugh.   
  
Hanbyul hummed out loud while sifting through her things, whining when she couldn’t find anything orange. “I don’t have that colour!”   
  
“It’s okay, we can make him something else!” Junhoe was quick to reply. “Do you have green?”   
  
Jinhwan watched as Junhoe knelt beside her, whispering ideas to her, and he couldn’t help but smile. This whole thing was getting cuter by the second! Seeing Junhoe interacting so closely with her just seemed so sweet and soft, and it reminded him of watching Junhoe the previous weekend with Hanbin, giggling over their fighter nicknames. It was nice, getting to see this other side of him. Maybe he was just assuming things that were incorrect, but Junhoe had struck him as the sort that didn’t really like to open up until he felt comfortable. Did this behaviour, playing with Hanbyul in front of him, did it mean that Junhoe trusted him, at least to some degree? He hoped so.   
  
“Wait, I have to go get something!” Hanbyul ran from the room suddenly, while Junhoe sat back down beside him on the bed.   
  
“Okay, get it out now while she’s out of the room!” Junhoe said in greeting.   
  
Jinhwan smiled at him instead of laughing. “I think it’s sweet,” he said, “it’s nice of you to indulge her.”   
  
Junhoe hadn’t really been expecting that, he’d been expecting Jinhwan to laugh and make fun of him. He was trying to keep his guard up about him, trying not to let Jinhwan off the hook too easily. But every time they hung out, Jinhwan showed better sides of himself, and Junhoe had yet to see the jerk side of him reappear since Hanbin’s boxing tournament.   
  
“Seriously, a lot of guys wouldn’t sit through makeup, especially not for a kid that’s not even their own sibling. But you always seem really sweet with her, it’s nice.” Jinhwan thought the look of surprise on Junhoe’s face was hilarious given the makeup, and it was a struggle not to laugh.   
  
“You know, she really likes you,” Junhoe replied, scrambling to change the topic because it just felt weird to hear it come from Jinhwan, “she usually doesn’t warm up to new people so quickly.”   
  
Jinhwan grinned. “Yeah, Bobby complains that she’s still not that close to him. I think it’s just because he doesn’t know what to do with a sister. You have an older sister, right?”   
  
Junhoe nodded. Had they talked about their sisters last weekend? Or had Hanbin said something about her? “Yeah, Yejin’s three years older than me.”   
  
“Ah, my sister’s six years older than me! Practically ancient!” Jinhwan joked.   
  
“Are you close to her?” Junhoe asked, curious about Jinhwan’s relationship with his family, but not wanting to ask the obvious question of why Jinhwan lived in Seoul while they didn’t. He didn’t really like getting too personal in conversations.   
  
“We’re very close! After Bobby, my sister is the person I’m closest to. What about you and your sister?” Jinhwan wasn’t exactly keen to keep the topic of conversation on his own family, wanting to try and avoid any potentially troubling questions.   
  
“We’re really close too,” Junhoe answered curtly, and any further awkward conversation was saved by Hanbyul’s reappearance.   
  
“I found it!” she squealed on her way into the room, holding a small tub in her hands. Jinhwan watched her in curiosity as she stood in front of him, trying to unscrew the top. When she couldn’t get it she looked at Junhoe, who reached for it immediately and gave her back the open container.   
  
Jinhwan looked down at it, curious as to what it was. Some sort of green cream? Probably some kind of face mask? Was she going to slather his entire face in it? Was this Junhoe’s doing? He had asked her for green, after all…

Only one way to find out.

* * *

  
“Are you sure we should leave them alone?” Bobby asked, turning to Hanbin once Jinhwan had disappeared from view.   
  
“They’re not alone, they’re with Hanbyul!” Hanbin answered.   
  
“Yeah, that’s why I’m worried! I don’t want you winning our bet.” Bobby replied, grinning as Hanbin leaned down to check on the food in the oven.   
  
“Oh nothing will happen tonight,” Hanbin said, standing up and resetting the timer, “Hanbyul’s putting makeup on Junhoe.”   
  
“She’s what? He’s letting her?” Bobby was surprised—he wouldn’t have pictured Junhoe submitting himself to that.   
  
“It happens more often than you think,” Hanbin replied, “mom always gives her old makeup and Byul loves to put it on other people more than herself.” Hanbin pointed at the fridge. “See if you can find me on there!”   
  
Bobby went over to the collection of pictures on the side of the fridge, immediately spotting Hanbin and his dad both wearing heavy makeup and looking ridiculous. It was endearing, though. “You’re not gonna make her do my makeup, are you?” He jokingly asked.   
  
“Might get her more comfortable with you?” Hanbin teased, before walking over to stand behind Bobby, sliding his arms around him.   
  
Bobby put the picture back on the fridge and turned around, checking to make sure no one had come back into the kitchen before cupping Hanbin’s cheeks in his palms and meeting his lips for a kiss. It had been a while since they’d been able to share a proper kiss without interruption, and Bobby was desperate. Hanbin seemed to be pretty desperate too, judging by the eagerness of his response.   
  
They managed to get in a good five minutes of making out without interruption before the timer dinged on the stove, startling the both of them. Hanbin leaned back in for another quick kiss before pulling away and heading over to check on the food, leaving Bobby to catch his breath where he stood.   
  
God, they _really_ needed to have a longer time alone together. Kissing Hanbin was so much better than any other guy he’d ever kissed before, but Bobby wanted more than just kissing. Not that they’d even talked about _that_ yet, but that was a conversation they definitely needed to have by themselves anyway. Hence the need for some actual alone time.   
  
Hanbin deemed the food finished and took it out of the oven and just as Bobby was about to go and plaster himself to Hanbin again they were interrupted. Bobby felt like groaning in frustration, but that quickly abated as soon as he took in the state of his friends.   
  
Junhoe had a face full of poorly applied makeup, but Jinhwan’s entire face was light green (except for bright pink lips). Bobby couldn’t hold back the laugh, wasn’t sure which one looked more ridiculous. Hanbin faced them with a little more grace, keeping his laughter to himself.   
  
Jinhwan, for his part, just smiled at them for a moment before speaking. “I’m a pea.”   
  
Hanbin couldn’t hold it in after the comment, turning away to face the counter, laughing so hard tears came to his eyes. Bobby was in the same boat, and Jinhwan himself had a hard time not breaking down as well.   
  
Hanbyul excitedly ran to her brother’s side, wrapping her arms around his leg. “Oppa, he wanted to be an orange but I didn’t have orange!”   
  
Hanbin wiped his eyes before leaning down to pick her up. “Well you did a very good job of making him a pea!” He could barely say it without laughing.   
  
“Junhoe oppa said he should be a pea because he’s so small!” Hanbyul explained conspiratorially, whispering in Hanbin’s ear. The explanation just made him laugh again.   
  
“What did she just say?” Jinhwan asked, standing with his hands on his hips and looking at Hanbyul as though she was in trouble. She just laughed and buried her face in Hanbin’s neck.   
  
“She said green really suits you,” Hanbin answered, grinning when Jinhwan blew him a kiss.   
  
“Okay enough talk about the little pea,” Junhoe cut in, “don’t I look fabulous?”   
  
Hanbin briefly looked at him but had to turn away. Junhoe’s face after Jinhwan’s exclamation about being a pea was just too much for him to handle.   
  
“You’re stunning!” Bobby answered instead, “just breathtaking!”   
  
“Thank you,” Junhoe replied, “it’s hard work looking this good.”   
  
They took seats around the table while Hanbin served dinner. Bobby and Jinhwan had eaten already, and when Hanbin sat down with Hanbyul, Jinhwan offered his help so Hanbin could eat in peace.   
  
“Byul-ah, come and sit with me!” He motioned for her to join him, and to Hanbin’s surprise she did, slipping down from his lap and beelining for Jinhwan’s chair. He passed over her plate, curious eyes on his sister. She was still slowly warming up to Bobby, but she’d taken to Jinhwan drastically quick. It was cute, and he was grateful for the opportunity to not have to worry about making sure she ate. It’s not that Hanbyul was a fussy eater, but she was easily distracted at meal times.   
  
Once dinner was done they congregated in the living room, where Hanbin had the brilliant idea of having Junhoe and Jinhwan reenact a fairy tale out of Hanbyul’s book—The Princess and The Pea. There were protests at first (mostly from Jinhwan, whose green face mask had started hardening over dinner and was pulling tightly at his skin, but they wouldn’t let him wash it off yet) but Hanbyul’s teary pleading had done them in.   
  
Hanbin narrated the story and in the end Junhoe sat down on Jinhwan, who whined and complained about being crushed. Hanbyul loved it, though (as did Hanbin and Bobby, who recorded the good parts on his phone) and only when they finished the impromptu play were they allowed to go and wash their faces.   
  
As Jinhwan washed the hardened mask off his face he looked at Junhoe, who was carefully wiping the eye shadow off.   
  
“So, not to be suggestive about what you do in your spare time, but you seem pretty used to wearing makeup!” Jinhwan teased.   
  
Junhoe grinned and reached for a fresh makeup wipe. “Did your sister not practice makeup on you when you were younger?” Junhoe asked.   
  
“All the time!” Jinhwan answered, reaching for a wipe to take the lipstick off.   
  
“Sometimes Yejin still does.” Junhoe replied, and as soon as he said it he felt like biting his tongue off. Why was he sharing that??   
  
“Really? That’s cute!” Jinhwan replied, reaching for a towel to dry his face now that his lips were clean. Okay, doing it as a kid was one thing, and letting Hanbyul do it now was another, but Junhoe _still_ let his _older adult_ sister put makeup on him?! Jinhwan thought that was especially cute.   
  
Junhoe blushed as he continued taking off the makeup. _Ugh, why did I tell him that?!_ “Yeah, just for, like, complicated things she wants to practice? It’s not like I like it or anything!” So embarrassing. He was sure Jinhwan would tease him over it constantly!   
  
Jinhwan just smiled and didn’t reply. When he finished drying his face he looked in the mirror. He didn’t look any different, and he was curious what the mask had been for? He touched his cheek and gasped out loud. His skin was _so soft._ He’d heard all the same commercials about skin softening creams, but had figured they were bullshit advertisements. But he could actually feel the difference!   
  
“Okay you have to touch my face! This stuff made my skin super soft, it’s crazy!” Jinhwan exclaimed, reaching for Junhoe’s arm. Junhoe almost pulled away, but in the end he wound up with his fingers touching Jinhwan’s cheek.   
  
“Yeah hyung, uh very soft.” Junhoe wasn’t sure why Jinhwan cared about how soft his skin was. Sure, it was nice, but it was also weird, touching Jinhwan’s face. Ah, there was that stupid little heart shaped mole! The one Junhoe had originally wanted to grind his elbow into.   
  
Funny how things worked out. He was touching it now, but he no longer had the desire to elbow Jinhwan in the face. Which was good! Better to have a friend than an enemy, he supposed. He felt calmer these days, now that the mere thought of Jinhwan didn’t make him seethe with anger. He didn’t like being upset over things, and he’d been especially miserable being at odds with Hanbin. He’d even had an easier time dealing with Donghyuk’s constant presence this past week. Karaoke had been a huge help.   
  
He finally dropped his hand from Jinhwan’s face, but stared at him for a moment as Jinhwan leaned in closer to the mirror to study his skin. Junhoe still couldn’t believe how friendly they’d become after their start. He had a lot of acquaintances, people he was friendly with and enjoyed being around. But there weren’t many people he would really consider a _friend._ Hanbin, obviously, and even though Yunhyeong was only supposed to be his tutor, Junhoe actually thought of him as a friend as well. Donghyuk was certainly _becoming_ a friend (whether Junhoe wanted him to or not, which was just Donghyuk’s personality) and now he wondered… Would he soon consider Jinhwan a proper friend? It kind of seemed that way, strangely enough.   
  
Once they finished in the bathroom they rejoined the others only to hear that it was bedtime for Hanbyul. After bidding her a goodnight (and kissing her cheek--even Bobby got to participate) Hanbin took her to bed, returning a short while later once she was sleeping, dropping back onto the couch next to Bobby, who immediately put an arm around his shoulders. Jinhwan sat on Hanbin’s other side, while Junhoe occupied a chair across from them.   
  
Bobby was in the middle of discussing the upcoming playoff games for their high school basketball league.   
  
“I can’t believe they changed the first round to Thursday, this year!” Bobby complained after reading a text message from his coach. “I hate weekday games, I always have too much energy to get to sleep.”   
  
“Wait, this Thursday?” Jinhwan asked, voice rising.   
  
“Yeah, why?” Bobby looked at his best friend, his brain raking over itself trying to figure out what might be getting him upset.   
  
“You’re supposed to go to the concert with me on Thursday!” Jinhwan said, frowning at Bobby. Had he really forgotten already?   
  
“Oh shit! I forgot about that,” Bobby winced, “I can’t skip the game though.”   
  
Jinhwan knew there was no point in arguing because Bobby was right--he couldn’t skip the game. But that wasn’t going to stop him from complaining anyway.   
  
“My mom bought that fourth ticket for you to come with us!” What was he going to do now? His mom was expecting Bobby to come.   
  
“I’m sorry! It’s not like I asked them to change the game, it’s always been on Friday.” Bobby felt bad, but what was he supposed to do? He captained his team, he couldn’t leave them in the first round.   
  
Jinhwan dropped his head back against the couch, annoyed mostly because there was nothing he could do about it. “Ugh, mom’s gonna be pissed!”   
  
“What’s the concert?” Hanbin asked, curious about the complaints.   
  
“It’s the London Chamber Orchestra,” Jinhwan explained, pausing to glare at Bobby, who’d chuckled.   
  
“Sorry!” Bobby replied. “I mean, it’s nice but it just sounds so nerdy--”   
  
“Shut up!” Jinhwan yelled at him, annoyed with his interruption.   
  
“Are they really coming here from London?” Hanbin asked.   
  
Jinhwan felt slightly mollified by Hanbin’s appreciative question. “Yeah, they tour a lot globally, I’ve seen them three times before. But this time is special because my favourite trumpeter is coming.”   
  
“Mmm, Alison Balsom!” Bobby said in an overly sweet voice. “Jinan’s dream wife!”   
  
“Shut up!” Jinhwan yelled again, tempted to get up so he could kick Bobby.   
  
“Want me to knock him out?” Hanbin offered with a grin, and again Jinhwan felt a little grateful to him.   
  
“Nah, might ruin your romance. I’ve been beating Bobby up for years, I’ll knock him around when we go home later.”   
  
Hanbin grinned and suddenly an excited look came over his face. “So, you need a date for the concert then, right?”   
  
“Yeah, you wanna come?” Jinhwan offered, and honestly he’d probably have a better time with Hanbin, who seemed to at least have a more open interest than Bobby did. Sometimes Bobby only came with him to things out of politeness, and not because he actually wanted to go.   
  
“I wish!” Hanbin answered, and truly he did. He’d gone to a few shows of Seoul’s orchestra with his parents. “I have a game too, though, so I can’t. But I know someone who’s not busy on Thursday.” Hanbin directed his gaze at Junhoe, who hadn’t been paying that much attention to the conversation while he was busy texting on his phone.   
  
“What about Thursday?” Junhoe asked, looking up from his phone.   
  
“Jinhwan hyung needs a date for a concert, and we’re busy!” Hanbin answered.   
  
Junhoe’s face went unexpectedly red. “Uh, I don’t know, what’s the concert?”   
  
“It’s classical music,” Jinhwan explained, “an orchestra from London.”   
  
“Oh, uh, I don’t know? I might be busy?” Was Hanbin seriously trying to get him to go out somewhere _alone_ with Jinhwan?? As friendly as they were getting these days, Junhoe wasn’t sure if they were really ready to hang out by themselves.   
  
“No you’re not, because I’m busy and you’re not doing what I’m doing and you have no other friends! Jinhwan’s mom already bought the ticket, all you have to do is wear a nice outfit and go.” Hanbin was determined to get Junhoe to accompany Jinhwan. It was the perfect opportunity for them to get closer! Okay so maybe not perfect, because Jinhwan’s mom would be there, but he felt certain they’d come out of it with a closer connection.   
  
“If you don’t want to go, that’s okay, I know it’s not for everyone.” Jinhwan felt a little weird about bringing Junhoe. He and Junhoe had an easy co-existence now when they hung out as a group, but he thought that things would probably get awkward if they were alone, because he felt like Junhoe was only _just_ starting to open up to him. It wouldn’t be like it was at the basketball game, where they had other people to distract them or the safety of having their friends in the same space. This would be Junhoe meeting his _mother._ He’d be comfortable bringing Hanbin, because he wasn’t the ball of awkward tension that Junhoe could be.   
  
“I didn’t say that, I just might be busy, I need to check.” Junhoe looked  at Hanbin then, who was shaking his head in disappointment. “I like classical music, okay!”   
  
“Bullshit!” Hanbin replied, grinning widely. “Name one composer!”   
  
Junhoe knew some composers, okay, he wasn’t ignorant! He just couldn’t remember any of the names at the moment? They were all foreign, and foreign names were hard!   
  
“Not even one?” Bobby asked, amused at the situation.   
  
“I know some! I just can’t think of them right now!” Junhoe replied, face red in embarrassment. Man, _fuck_ Hanbin!   
  
“I can’t believe you, this is so pathetic!” Hanbin crowed with joy, laughing at his best friend.   
  
“Fuck both of you, honestly!” Junhoe whined. He hated it when people made him look stupid!   
  
“Really, you don’t have to come if you don’t want to,” Jinhwan cut in, actually feeling a little bad for him. Man, Hanbin _really_ teased Junhoe hard sometimes. Jinhwan did the same thing to Bobby, so he couldn’t really say anything. But still.   
  
“I do want to, though!” Junhoe replied, confusing himself in the heat of the moment. Did he actually want to go? Had he just cornered himself into this?   
  
“I don’t know Junhoe, I don’t think you’re enlightened enough to appreciate classical music.” Hanbin knew he had to be careful—he _wanted_ Junhoe to go with Jinhwan, thought they needed something like this to really develop the friendship. There was a very fine line he could walk when he wanted to bully Junhoe into doing something, an easy way to goad him into agreeing when he didn’t really want to. Hanbin wanted to make sure he didn’t cross it.   
  
“I am so!” Junhoe was so annoyed he lashed out, trying to kick Hanbin from across the gap in between them. But Hanbin moved his leg and instead Junhoe just kicked the couch, cursing loudly.   
  
Jinhwan couldn’t help but laugh at the situation, looking between Junhoe and Hanbin and Bobby, before finally settling his sights back on Junhoe, who was rubbing his foot. “Alright, quit yelling! You can come.” Jinhwan couldn’t help but smile at Junhoe, because his sulking, grumbling face was actually pretty cute?   
  
Hanbin looked at Bobby, smiling slyly at him. Operation: Hook Up The Best Friends was off to a stellar start, and if Hanbin had his way, Bobby would be taking him out for a nice dinner very soon.


	14. Accelerando

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The concert "date".

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just in case anyone is curious and would like to listen to Jinan's favourite trumpet player (in this fic, I don't know how often he listens to it in real life) I would recommend this album of hers: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ktefx5TIgh4
> 
> A lot of this stuff was originally composed for the violin, and she transcribed them herself for the trumpet. This is the music Jinan talks about in this chapter. :)

“Oh god _why_ did I agree to this?” Junhoe whined, laying face down on his bed.  
  
Hanbin was currently going through his closet, deciding on the best outfit for him to wear. “Because you’re a complete sucker when it comes to your pride taking a hit.” Black pants for sure, but he was undecided if he wanted Junhoe to make a statement with his outfit or just blend in. He’d asked Jinhwan for his advice, and Jinhwan had said that his mother actually appreciated _interesting_ fashion choices, preferring bold to boring.  
  
Junhoe grumbled into his pillow, because Hanbin had a point. How many times now had Hanbin suckered him into doing things, all because Junhoe had refused to say no? You’d think he’d have wised up to Hanbin’s manipulative ways by now, but no.  
  
“So Jinhwan said that you don’t have to wear a suit jacket if you wear something really nice,” Hanbin mused, eyes lingering on a bright teal shirt he didn’t remember ever seeing Junhoe wear, “and she likes interesting fashion.”  
  
“What’s your point, Hanbin? I don’t really own anything that interesting.” Junhoe didn’t bother looking, still slumped against the pillows. Just earlier he’d been fine with going, hadn’t felt that nervous. But now that Hanbin was here, picking out his clothes, suddenly everything felt way more serious. He was meeting Jinhwan’s _mother._ What was he thinking?! He barely had a hold on his friendship with the guy, and he was about to meet the family?  
  
“When did you get this shirt? Does it still fit you?” Hanbin took the shirt out, turning to face Junhoe. “Hey, look at me!”  
  
Junhoe sighed loudly before rolling onto his back. He immediately made a noise of displeasure. “Ah, that shirt, really? Yejin bought it for my birthday, I’ve never worn it. That colour’s over the top.”  
  
“Yeah, that’s kinda the point! You wear the black pants with this, and then wear a black vest and a black tie, and it’s gonna look awesome.” Hanbin walked over to the bed, draping the shirt over Junhoe’s chest. “It looks so good with your blonde hair!”  
  
“You want me to wear a _vest?_ Are you crazy?” Junhoe didn’t like it. He liked simple fashions when he had to dress up—plain black and white, maybe a little grey to mix things up. Yejin had tried to convince him to add some colour, but he just wasn’t having it.  
  
“I know you don’t own a vest, but my dad has some really awesome ones! You’re practically the same size, they’d probably fit you. Actually, ooh, what size are your feet?”  
  
Junhoe sighed, afraid to answer. “275. Why?”  
  
“Because my dad has these awesome shoes that’ll be _perfect_ with your outfit!” Hanbin exclaimed. His father travelled overseas a lot for business, so his personal style was quite flashy for the average Korean man.  
  
“Hanbin--” Junhoe warned, but he was cut off almost immediately.  
  
“Seriously, they’re like the same shade as the shirt, but snakeskin!” Hanbin could picture it in his head, and he was jealous already. He _loved_ those snakeskin shoes, but his father had bigger feet than he did, and they’d never fit him. “I could totally get him to lend them to you!”  
  
“Hanbin! That’s ridiculous, I’m not wearing snakeskin shoes!” Junhoe grumbled. What would anyone think of him, he’d look stupid!  
  
“You’re totally wearing snakeskin shoes! Don’t be a baby, take a chance.” Hanbin threw the shirt at him. “Try this on, I need to make sure it fits before I get ahead of myself.” He stood with his arms crossed over his chest, annoyed glare on his best friend.  
  
Junhoe sighed dramatically again before getting up. “Ugh, _fine!_ I’ll try the stupid shirt on.” He pulled his t-shirt off and pulled the button down over his arms, annoyed out of principle. “What’s Jinhwan wearing? I’m not gonna stand out, am I?”  
  
“I don’t know, but he’s already given you the green light to wear something interesting so you’re doing it.” Hanbin pulled out his phone, texting his dad to see about borrowing the shoes. He knew they were probably expensive, but this was a very important occasion.  
  
Junhoe sighed again and started buttoning up the shirt. It fit him perfectly around the chest, but the arms were a little short. “Uh Hanbin, sorry to burst your bubble, but the sleeves are too short.”  
  
Hanbin shook his head and kept texting. “It’s fine, we’ll roll them up. It’s a hot look these days!” His dad replied immediately, asking why he wanted those shoes in particular. “Junhoe, look at me!” Hanbin waited until Junhoe turned to face him, confused expression captured in the picture that he sent to his dad with the caption _“he needs all the help he can get!! can he borrow a vest too??”_  
  
“What did you take my picture for? Could have waited til I was ready at least,” he grumbled.  
  
“Nah, it was better that you look lost and confused.” Hanbin replied, grinning as he read his father’s answer. “Dad said you can borrow his shoes, and he’ll get you a good vest too!” He tossed his phone on the bed before reaching for Junhoe’s arm. “Come here, let me do your sleeves.”  
  
Junhoe stood while Hanbin went to work, still feeling nervous. “Hanbin are you sure about this?” He asked, genuinely concerned.  
  
“What are you worried about?” Hanbin asked, finishing with one sleeve.  
  
“I don’t want to look stupid,” Junhoe answered, “especially because his mom will be there! I’ve never met his mom or his sister, I don’t want them to think I’m an idiot or something.”  
  
“They won’t,” Hanbin replied, “you’re going to look _good,_ Junhoe! Even if you do stand out, better to stand out looking good than blend in looking bad.” He moved on to the other sleeve, rolling it up while Junhoe pouted.  
  
“Are you sure I should do this?” Junhoe asked, feeling indescribably insecure. It was awkward enough to think about spending all night with Jinhwan only, but adding his family to the mix?! He’d been crazy to agree to it. “What if his mom starts grilling me about classical music? I couldn’t even name a composer the other day! I’ll be even more nervous with his mom there.”  
  
“Here’s an important piece of advice my dad gave me,” Hanbin finished with the sleeve, nodding to himself as he took in the fit, “if you’re talking to someone who you want to make a good impression on, and they ask you for your opinion on something you know nothing about—don’t try to bullshit them, just be honest. Tell them you don’t really know anything, but then tell them that you’d like to know more about the subject, and then ask them for _their_ opinion. People love to hear themselves talk, and the best way to make a good impression on someone else is to be a good listener.”  
  
Junhoe frowned, because he _hated_ pretending to care about other people’s opinions.  
  
“Trust me! If she asks you who your favourite composer is, or what your favourite concerto is, say you don’t have one. Then ask her which one is her favourite!” When Junhoe still didn’t look convinced, Hanbin grinned and shoved the black dress pants at him. “Put these on. You have to remember, she’s a musician herself, right? She’s going to be full of opinions on music! Ask her about them. Ask her what her favourite piece to play is, what her favourite one to listen to is. Tell her you like to sing.”  
  
Junhoe left his jeans on the floor and pulled the dress pants on, not sure if he could do what Hanbin was suggesting. “Sounds easy coming from you, but you know I’m not good with this stuff! What if I don’t sound sincere? I don’t want to sound rude.”  
  
“I don’t think Jinhwan’s going to let you sound rude to his mom, he’ll help you out. And honestly, why are you so worried anyway? Not like you’re ever going to have to see her again, right?” Hanbin couldn’t help but put the thought in his head.  
  
Junhoe wasn’t sure how much Hanbin’s advice was helping. On one hand, he did have a point—would he ever see her again after this? He couldn’t see why he would... Unless she came to see Jinhwan fight at the next tournament? Why else would he see her? And even then it wouldn’t matter anyway! Well, unless he had to fight Jinhwan. Oh god, what if he made himself look like an idiot and offended Jinhwan’s mother, and then she did come to the next tournament and then he choked and Jinhwan beat him again? She’d think he was useless!  
  
This was potentially going to be a disaster.  
  
“God, calm down! I can hear you fretting without saying anything!” Hanbin teased him, standing back to look over Junhoe’s outfit so far. “Those pants fit you really well, they go good with the shirt! That colour looks so good with your hair.”  
  
“It’s weird, I feel stupid.” Junhoe couldn’t help but grumble.  
  
“Junhoe, seriously, it’s going to be fine! Better than fine! I don’t know why you’re convinced she won’t like you.”  
  
“We don’t even know what she’s like, Hanbin! What if she’s responsible for the asshole side of Jinhwan’s personality? What if she’s mean?”  
  
“Do you think he’d bring you if she was mean?” Hanbin had thought that Junhoe’s concerns over the concert were kind of cute at first, but he was clearly very worried about it, and he wondered if maybe he’d pushed him a bit too early? While Junhoe clearly liked Jinhwan now, their friendship was still in a delicate stage. “He’s not a jerk anymore, you know that, right?”  
  
Junhoe sighed and nodded. “Yeah, I know, you have a point. He’s a lot better than I expected. But I just can’t help but be nervous. I’d be fine if you were going to be there, but, I don’t know. I also don’t want to fuck up in front of him, either, you know? We’re finally getting along now. I don’t want him to regret that.”  
  
Hanbin could barely keep the grin off his face at Junhoe’s last line—there was clearly something there in Junhoe’s brain, already putting Jinhwan on a pedestal. “You won’t fuck up. Come on, you’re usually not this nervous about things! Just be your confident self and you’ll be fine. Let me take a picture quick.” Without giving him much chance to prepare, Hanbin grabbed his phone and snapped a full body picture of Junhoe to send to his dad. “Even if you do say the wrong thing to his mom, I don’t think Jinhwan’s going to hold it against you. He’s been really nice lately, I can tell he likes you.”  
  
Junhoe frowned and crossed his arms over his chest. He really needed to stop letting Hanbin talk him into things. “Yeah, if you say so.”  
  
Hanbin tossed his phone back on the bed. “Okay, take those off and hang them back up. Dad said he’s got some good options picked out for you, so come back home with me after class tomorrow to pick them up.”  
  
“Are you gonna have time to come over and help me get ready?” Junhoe pleaded, because there was no way he could prepare on his own. He’d probably cancel in a fit of panic.  
  
“Of course! I can’t let you get all dressed up on your own.” Besides, it’s not like Hanbin _really_ had anywhere to go tomorrow night—he’d lied about having a game of his own, his was still on Friday. As much as he would have liked to go with Jinhwan, he hadn’t been able to resist setting up this perfect opportunity for a “date”.  
  
Junhoe felt a little better knowing that Hanbin would still be around to help him get ready. Which was kind of stupid because it didn’t _really_ matter how he looked. It’s not like he was trying to impress Jinhwan or anything… He didn’t need to look good. He just needed to _not_ look dumb.  
  
“Thanks, Bin. I, uh, appreciate you helping me.” Junhoe carefully slid the shirt off, passing it to Hanbin and pulling his t shirt back on.  
  
“Well, someone has to! You can’t help yourself, after all.” Hanbin teased, and two seconds later Junhoe threw the pants at his head.

* * *

  
“Wow, you uh, look really fancy!” Jinhwan was actually at a loss for words, looking at Junhoe. He would have pegged him as the type to wear the most boring suit possible to an event like this.  
  
_Shit, Hanbin was going to die when this was over!_ “Uh, Hanbin dressed me!” Junhoe quickly said, nervous and on the spot. He was overdressed, wasn’t he? He was going to stick out like a sore thumb, he knew it!  
  
“Man, those shoes are sick!” Bobby exclaimed, impressed with the outfit. “Are they snakeskin?”  
  
Junhoe was contemplating ways to kill Hanbin in his head as he answered. “Yeah, they’re actually Hanbin’s dad’s. So’s the vest.” _Ugh, they didn’t need to know that!_  
  
“Seriously? Hanbin’s dad has some really cool stuff,” Jinhwan replied, still a little in awe of the whole picture, “I think you should let Hanbin dress you more often!”  
  
Junhoe couldn’t tell if Jinhwan was being honest or joking, but he didn’t get the chance to ask before they were joined by a woman who could only be Jinhwan’s mom.  
  
“Ah, is this the new friend?” She asked, her eyes lighting up as she took in Junhoe’s appearance. “Such a unique style! You’re going to turn all the right heads tonight, my dear!”  
  
Junhoe bowed and thanked her, still feeling a little over the top. But at least she seemed happy with what he was wearing? Turning heads was a compliment, right? She wasn’t just being sarcastic?  
  
“Yeah, this is my friend Koo Junhoe! This is obviously my mother!” Jinhwan waved between the two of them. “And here comes my sister, Seiyeon!”  
  
Seiyeon actually paused to give Junhoe a long look, before nodding in appreciation. “It’s nice to meet you!” She looked at Jinhwan then, winking at him. Jinhwan just grinned back at her, still too shocked to joke around as usual. He was saved by the appearance of Bobby’s brother, Jiun. Jinhwan took advantage of the influx of new people to grab Bobby’s arm and drag him down the hall to his room.  
  
Bobby figured Jinhwan probably needed help with his tie, or something, and was surprised when Jinhwan rounded on him as soon as they made it to his room.  
  
“Okay, Bobby, _what the fuck?!”_ Jinhwan exclaimed in a loud whisper, a look of near panic on his face.  
  
“What?” Bobby looked at him with concern; he rarely ever saw Jinhwan so worked up.  
  
“What do you mean _what?_ Did you see him?” Jinhwan hissed. “He looks really fucking hot! How am I supposed to not stare at him all night?” Jinhwan almost couldn’t believe it. He’d always thought Junhoe was attractive, but the clothing choices just made him stand out in a way that had Jinhwan reeling.  
  
Bobby suddenly remembered his bet with Hanbin. _Fuck. The asshole did it on purpose!_ “Uh, make your sister sit next to him instead?” Bobby teased.  
  
Jinhwan glared at him. “I just can’t get over how hot he looks tonight. Spiking his hair up like that too? Shit, I’m in trouble.” Jinhwan grinned then, still torn between wanting to thank Hanbin and wanting to strangle him. The shock of seeing Junhoe all made up was slowly wearing off. “You don’t think Hanbin will get mad if I hit on Junhoe tonight, will he?”  
  
Bobby laughed back, though on the inside he couldn’t help but wonder if Hanbin had made Junhoe up for this sole purpose? “I think you should be more worried about Junhoe! But Hanbin would probably advise you to behave. You know how finnicky Junhoe can be.” Fuck it. He wasn’t going to try and influence this thing yet. It was too early.  
  
Jinhwan frowned playfully at the answer. “Ugh, such a boring answer. Okay I gotta get back out there. I just had to say something otherwise I was probably gonna explode.” Jinhwan ran a hand through his hair. “Hey, I look good too, right?”  
  
Bobby grinned and shook his head. “Yeah, you look cute.” He knew that _cute_ was not the adjective Jinhwan wanted to hear at the moment.  
  
“Bobby!” Jinhwan whined. “Tell me I look hot!”  
  
Bobby grinned and shrugged. “You know I don’t like lying to you.” He barely dodged out of the way of a kick from Jinhwan. “Okay fine! You look hot. Not quite as hot as Junhoe, so people will probably question what you’re doing there together.”  
  
Jinhwan glared at him again, though he appreciated the teasing because it helped to calm his nerves. “Yeah well, you’d know all about that, right? I’m sure that’s what everyone thinks when they see Hanbin with _you!”_ He stuck his tongue out before darting out of the room, leaving Bobby to shake his head and laugh. Typical Jinhwan. He followed him down the hall, smiling when he saw how relaxed Junhoe looked talking to his brother. Knowing Jiun, they were probably talking about jiu jitsu.  
  
“Alright well, I gotta get going for my game, but you guys have a good time tonight!” Bobby hugged Seiyeon, who wished him luck at his game, before hugging her mother, who also wished him luck.  
  
“Kick ass tonight, Bobby hyung!” Junhoe told him, and Bobby couldn’t help but smile. It was still rare for Junhoe to call him hyung, and every time he did it made Bobby smile. He left the apartment with Jiun, who was going to drive him to the gym. Once he was in the car Bobby took out his phone, sending a quick text to Hanbin.  
  
_-good job wit jun he looks good!!!!-_  
  
He got a reply almost immediately.  
  
_-thanks! what did jinan think of it?-_ _  
_ _  
_ _-he wuz freakn out wen i left cuz he looks to hot!!!-_ _  
_ _  
_ _-good :)-_  
  
Bobby grinned at the message, all the proof he’d needed that Hanbin was doing all he could to speed the process along.  
  
_-u cheater!!! u did it on prupose!!!!-_  
  
_-i did nothing wrong! im innocent!-_  
  
Bobby laughed at the message, feeling good before his game tonight. It was the first game in the preliminary round of the playoffs, and they were playing a low ranking team. He wasn’t worried about the game, but talking to Hanbin made him feel calmer anyway. It was too bad they both had games on the same night, because it would be the perfect opportunity for them to get together afterwards by themselves.  
  
_-hey good luck tonite wit ur game!!!!-_ _  
_ _  
_ _-oh you need luck more than i do tonight :)-_ _  
_ _  
_ Bobby shook his head at the reply—even though he had always preferred to be the confident one in his relationships, he found Hanbin’s sometimes bratty arrogance to be kind of hot.  
  
_-u won 1 game by 1 point dont get cocky!!!-_ _  
_ _  
_ _-not being cocky! youll see what i mean soon :)-_  
  
Bobby read the response and couldn’t help but feel curious about what he meant? He was going to reply but Jiun was just pulling up to the front of the school now, so he slid his phone into his pocket and grabbed his bag.  
  
“Thanks for the drive, hyung!”  
  
“No problem! Call me when you’re done, if you need me to come pick you up.” They bumped fists and Bobby got out of the car, turning back to wave to Jiun before making his way towards the entrance. He took his phone back out of his pocket, eyes on the device as he walked towards the front stairs. He was almost at the door (and midway through typing a reply to Hanbin) when someone reached out and grabbed his shoulder.  
  
He barely restrained the annoyed huff (in case it was his coach, or an adult) and was shocked when instead it was Hanbin. What…?  
  
“Surprise! Thought I’d come cheer you on.” Hanbin grinned, clearly amused at his reaction.  
  
“I thought you had a game?” Bobby asked, standing in front of Hanbin, his fingers closing around Hanbin’s forearms. He couldn’t believe he was here!  
  
“I do, but not until tomorrow.” Hanbin explained, grinning mischievously.  
  
“Hold on, so you lied?” Bobby’s mouth dropped open in shock. Had Hanbin planned this just to get Junhoe and Jinhwan together??  
  
“I plan on winning our bet.” Hanbin replied, stepping closer to Bobby.  
  
“I can’t believe you!” Bobby replied, though he had to laugh a second later. “And you made Junhoe get super dressed up on purpose too!”  
  
“Of course I did! It worked, didn’t it?” Hanbin answered, laughing when Bobby shook his head, his expression clearly a mix of being amused and being annoyed. “But I also did it so we could have a night by ourselves. Well, after the game.”  
  
“And what if I’m busy after the game?” Bobby teased—even if he did have plans, they’d be cancelled in a heartbeat.  
  
“I have a feeling you’ll find a way to not be busy.” Hanbin expected that they might have to hang out for a bit with some of Bobby’s team mates in the event of victory, but even that was okay. Any opportunity to see Bobby was welcome.  
  
Bobby couldn’t even pretend to dispute that, and instead of replying he kissed Hanbin on the lips and tightened his arms around Hanbin’s back. He was going to destroy that other team tonight.

* * *

  
Jinhwan couldn’t help but bounce his legs in nervous excitement, anxious for the concert to get started. He still couldn’t believe he was actually going to see his idol live in person! Even though it was the full orchestra, he was still hoping that _maybe,_ if he was lucky, he’d get to hear her playing a non-trumpet concerto like she’d released on her recent album. Vivaldi, maybe?  
  
“Would you control your legs? At this rate you might pound a hole in the floor.” Seiyeon teased him.  
  
“I can’t help it!” Jinhwan whined.  
  
“You’re worse than a child!” Seiyeon retorted, elbowing his arm.  
  
“I was just thinking though, what if she plays Vivaldi? I might die.” Jinhwan grinned at his sister while she rolled her eyes back at him.  
  
“Don’t be so dramatic! How do you deal with him, Junhoe? Is he like this all the time?”  
  
Junhoe had been listening to their exchange, though he hadn’t had a single clue what Jinhwan had been referring to. He did recognize the name of Vivaldi. Not that he knew anything about him. Just the name sounded familiar. God, why hadn’t he done some research? Listened to some music?  
  
Seiyeon’s question caught him off guard and he nearly panicked before getting a hold of himself. “Not all the time,” he said with a forced laugh, “just half the time.” He suddenly wondered exactly what Jinhwan’s family knew about him? What had Jinhwan told them?  
  
“Noona, I’m serious! The amount of nights I’ve spent lying in bed listening to her version of Vivaldi, I can’t even count!” Jinhwan couldn’t help but grab his sister’s arm, laughing when she shook her head in mock disgust.  
  
“Quit being embarrassing!” Seiyeon couldn’t help but smile at him.  
  
“It’s Alison Balsom, though! I can’t help it.” Jinhwan couldn’t help but be excited, regardless of how much he’d probably regret it in the morning.  
  
“I knew I should have told mom to get us seats away from you! It’s not too late, Junhoe can come and sit with us so he doesn’t have to listen to you squealing.” Seiyeon grinned and winked at Junhoe.  
  
“Oh Junhoe’s fine, he probably has no idea what we’re talking about.” Jinhwan turned to look at Junhoe, who looked slightly panicked again. “You don’t, do you?”  
  
Junhoe remember Hanbin’s advice—no point in lying. “Not a clue.”  
  
Seiyeon laughed, a soft smile gracing her lips. “Ah, you’re lucky, then!”  
  
“Alison Balsom’s my favourite trumpet player,” Jinhwan explained, “honestly she’s the greatest! Recently she put out an album, and she transcribed a few pieces that were originally written for the violin, so they’re quite difficult to reproduce on a trumpet. But she does it beautifully! Honestly she’s my biggest musical inspiration.”  
  
Ah, the violin! That’s why Vivaldi had sounded familiar! “That sounds pretty cool.” Junhoe replied, and he meant it—not that he knew much about classical instruments, but he didn’t think the trumpet could sound as nice as a violin?  
  
“I know it might not seem that exciting, but wait until you hear her!” Jinhwan replied, certain Junhoe would be wowed by her. Or at least he was hoping he would be.  
  
“No, it is exciting!” Junhoe said, not wanting them to think he was completely indifferent to the show. He just wasn’t always the best at expressing himself.  
  
“I’m going to interrupt your little squabble to go to the bathroom before the show starts. If mom gets back before me don’t let her sit next to you! I miss you.” Seiyeon stood up and ruffled Jinhwan’s hair before leaving their seats. As soon as she was gone Jinhwan turned to Junhoe.  
  
“How are you holding up?”  
  
“Fine, I’m fine.”  
  
Jinhwan grinned at him. “Thanks for coming, by the way. I promise it’ll be more fun once the music actually starts!”  
  
“It’s fine, really. I’m not bored or anything, I swear!” Oddly enough, Junhoe meant it. He’d been content sitting around, watching people and listening to Jinhwan and Seiyeon tease each other. It was actually _comfortable._  
  
“You look really hot tonight, by the way.” Jinhwan couldn’t help but compliment, just for an excuse to stare at him again. He knew Bobby’s advice was good, no matter how much he wanted to ignore it. Besides, he didn’t think Junhoe liked him quite enough to agree to make out with him just yet. But maybe, if Jinhwan kept working at it.  
  
Junhoe swallowed hard at the compliment, his voice felt like it was literally stuck in his throat. “I look hot every night!” He replied, because sarcasm was always easy to fall back on.  
  
“Well, I won’t disagree with you there. But you look extra hot tonight. Not to like, make things awkward or whatever! I’m still not over those shoes.”  
  
Junhoe had never had a problem with accepting compliments (and it wasn’t that he was having a problem with it now) but it felt _weird_ to be getting compliments from Jinhwan? It was nice (especially when the alternative would be insults) but still. Was Jinhwan just saying it to give a compliment, or did he mean something else?  
  
Jinhwan wondered if he ought to keep going or stop. He didn’t want to freak Junhoe out, but at the same time… Even though Jinhwan had no intention of dating anyone right now, maybe it wouldn’t be so bad to have something casual? He wondered if Junhoe would even do casual. Was Junhoe even experienced? Maybe he’d ask Hanbin, because he felt like asking Junhoe would probably be nothing short of a disaster.  
  
Junhoe felt like the silence was getting a little awkward, and he struggled to find a topic of conversation that didn’t revolve around his looks. “So, Hanbin said your mom does music too, right? What instrument does she play?” Might be good to gain at least a bit of knowledge now in case he got drawn into a conversation.  
  
“Mom plays the violin, and Seiyeon plays the flute.” Jinhwan had a flash of sudden panic, looking up and seeing his mother making her way back towards them. “Hey, Junhoe, if mom asks, can you do me a favour and not mention jiu jitsu? Like, at all?” He felt bad for dropping the request on him suddenly. He really should have mentioned it to him in advance, but he’d been too excited over the show. But what if his mother started asking questions about how they’d met? Would she be frosty if she knew Junhoe was a friend from jiu jitsu? He’d like to think she wouldn’t be, but he wasn’t willing to risk the chance. He’d have to fake something on the fly if it came up.  
  
Before Junhoe could ask why, Jinhwan’s mother was back, carrying a glass of wine. “My apologies boys, just had to catch up with an old colleague!” She sat down beside Jinhwan and looked past him to Junhoe. “So, we haven’t really had a chance to chat yet, and I’m curious about how the two of you met? Jinhwan’s actually never mentioned you before, Junhoe!”  
  
Jinhwan spoke up before Junhoe had a chance to say anything. “At school, of course! Junhoe played basketball with Bobby last year, and turned out he likes singing, too, so we just naturally formed a friendship.” Jinhwan gave Junhoe a pointed look, as if to say _‘don’t dispute any of this, even though it’s all wrong!’_ that left Junhoe quiet but perplexed.  
  
Why the lies? What was he supposed to say if she asked him any direct questions?  
  
“Why did you give up basketball?” Jinhwan’s mother asked, and Junhoe quickly looked at Jinhwan to see if he wanted to step in and fabricate something. When he was met with silence, though, Junhoe pulled a lie out of his ass.  
  
“I just wanted to concentrate on my studies.” A plausible excuse.  
  
“Ah, a serious academic! I remember when my Jinhwan-ie used to be more concerned with his schoolwork, in _all_ subjects!” She reached out and brushed her fingers over his hair.  
  
“I was a total nerd back then, mom!” Jinhwan retorted, grinning at her before shooting Junhoe a sheepish but grateful smile.  
  
“Ah well, no matter anyway! All you need to do is pass your music exam and you’ll be set! I look forward to the day when the three of us can play on stage together.” She patted his head before taking a sip from her glass. “What are your plans for after high school, Junhoe?”  
  
“Uh, well to be honest, I haven’t decided yet,” Junhoe said, unsure if it was wise to be admitting this to her, but then he remembered Hanbin’s advice--it’s not like he was ever going to have to see her again! “Probably something business related, but I wanted to leave myself some options.”  
  
She nodded as though she thought that was a good idea, but Junhoe knew she was probably judging him for it. His parents harassed him all the time about picking a serious plan for after high school, but Junhoe really had no idea what he wanted. The only things he really enjoyed doing were singing, dancing, and jiu jitsu. Didn’t really leave him a lot of choices.  
  
“Mom, are you bothering him over a career already? You’ve just met the poor boy!” Seiyeon returned then, patting Junhoe on the shoulder as she passed him. “Let him breathe.”  
  
“It wasn’t an inquisition, Seiyeon-ah! Just a curious question with no judgement for the answer. It’s not always easy to know what you want in life.” She smiled at Junhoe in that motherly sort of way, as though she knew that he didn’t really have things figured out.  
  
“So Jinan-ie, are you still freaking out over Alison?” Seiyeon asked, reaching out to pinch his cheeks. Jinhwan let her, even though he was just slightly embarrassed over letting her do it in front in Junhoe. But then he remembered Junhoe’s admission that his sister still used him for makeup practice. This was probably nothing to him.  
  
“Of course! I think mom should let me have a glass of wine to calm my nerves.” Jinhwan joked, looking at his mom.  
  
“Don’t pull those puppy dog eyes at me, they won’t work!” She replied, and Jinhwan huffed in pretend irritation.  
  
Junhoe found it interesting, watching Jinhwan interact with his family. He was a different person around his sister, kind of bratty and whiny but almost in a cute way? Well, not _cute_ as in physically cute (okay kind of physically cute?) but it was fun watching him push their buttons? Jinhwan’s sister reminded him of his own sister, which made him think of all the ways their sibling relationships were probably the same.  
  
It was a lot of cute back and forth teasing, and even Jinhwan’s mom surprised Junhoe. She was a very sweet woman, almost the opposite of how Junhoe had pictured her. She seemed very warm and affectionate with both of her kids, and wasn’t as judgemental as Junhoe had anticipated.  
  
Which again begged the question—why hadn’t Jinhwan wanted him to mention jiu jitsu? Maybe it was just because they hadn’t known each other that long? Maybe he didn’t want his mom to think that Junhoe was just a last minute stand in for Bobby. On that note, _why was he here?_ Didn’t Jinhwan have other friends he could have invited?  
  
He didn’t have long to ponder before the house lights went down and everyone was asked to take their seats. Despite it being a classical show, Junhoe still felt that there was an excitement in the air similar to a rock concert. When he thought about it, it wasn’t that surprising. When people truly loved music, they didn’t hesitate to show it. But still, Junhoe wasn’t really sure what to expect. Classical music was nice, but it was never something he’d been super excited over. Music was always better when it was live, though, and Jinhwan’s excitement for it was a little contagious.  
  
But the moment the first note struck, it felt different, a palpable excitement that fell over the room. He was transfixed, the music sounded clearer and brighter than he would have imagined, and he had no idea what they were playing but it didn’t even matter. He loved it.  
  
After a few pieces with the entirety of the orchestra, a lull in the music came and a blonde woman walked out to the stage to applause, and Junhoe could tell from Jinhwan’s audible gasp that this must be her—his trumpet idol. That was confirmed a moment later when Jinhwan grabbed his forearm, squeezing tightly. Junhoe looked at him in surprise, taken aback by the excitable smile on Jinhwan’s face.  
  
Okay, it was kind of cute? Jinhwan stared at the stage, bright eyed and in complete adoration. Junhoe watched him instead, couldn’t help but stare. Jinhwan was still holding his arm but Junhoe didn’t mind. This moment obviously meant a lot to Jinhwan.  
  
Junhoe focused back on her, watching as she played her pieces, and he couldn’t help but wonder--did Jinhwan play any of these songs? Was he learning them? Maybe he’d ask Jinhwan to play some time. Because Junhoe actually liked the sound of the trumpet, thought it was much prettier than he’d expected.  
  
That might just end up being awkward, though. Best to scratch that idea. Maybe he’d just ask him about his favourite songs and maybe get an album, or something. When she finished her pieces and bowed to the audience Jinhwan finally took his hand back, clapping fervently. Junhoe clapped too, because she really had been extraordinary. He looked back at Jinhwan again, who sported an almost dreamy sort of smile on his face. It was cute, how happy the music made him. Junhoe wasn’t sure if there was anything that made him as happy as Jinhwan seemed right now. This was a different level of happiness, the sort you couldn’t get from yourself, the kind that came from loving someone else.  
  
He almost felt kind of jealous.


	15. Emotional Sparring

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone's got a little something on their minds.

“Hold it tighter, come on—if Chunghee weren’t such a weakling he’d have broken out of this by now!” Junhoe heeded Seungri’s words, tightening his arm around his opponent’s shoulder.  
  
“Ah, hyung, don’t tease--”   
  
“If you have time to talk, Chunghee, you have time to escape!” Seungri scolded, grinning to himself as he watched them grappling.   
  
The increased pressure had Chunghee tapping out, and Junhoe released his hold but remained on his back.   
  
“Ah, Seungri hyung didn’t lie though, did he?” Junhoe teased, and a second later his opponent slid out from under him.   
  
“Ah this is unfair! You can’t both gang up on me!” Chunghee sat nursing his shoulder, while Junhoe looked at Seungri and laughed. Seungri grinned back at him.   
  
“Good form, Junhoe-ya! Just keep it tight all the time, constant pressure is important. You had it locked in well, though, your stance was good.”   
  
“Thanks, hyung!” Junhoe replied, pleased with the praise. They were training for another upcoming tournament, the first Junhoe would be having since he’d made peace with Jinhwan. He wasn’t sure how it was going to go down if they had to face each other. He was actually a little scared, not of the fight itself, but of what might happen between them.   
  
He liked Jinhwan. Liked him quite a lot, actually, if he was being honest with himself. Seeing that other side of him at the concert, the excitable and fun side of him, enamoured and in love with the music… It was throwing him for a rather big loop and he still felt like he was caught in an inversion, he could feel it in the pit of his stomach, everything flipped around.   
  
But what if it was all ruined if they fought each other? What if Jinhwan beat him again and was cocky about it, and he took it poorly in the moment and said something harsh in response? What if he won, and Jinhwan lost? What was Jinhwan like when he lost? Would it make him grumpy and angry? Would it get in between them?   
  
His thoughts were interrupted by a bottle of water being tapped against his face.   
  
“Here, drink up! You look lost in thought.” Seungri sat down on the mat next to him, and Junhoe took the water.   
  
“Ah, sorry, hyung! I was just thinking about the tournament.” He took a sip of water, swallowing slowly.   
  
“Worried about facing your arch rival again?” Seungri teased.   
  
“Actually, hyung,” Junhoe hadn’t told any of them that he and Jinhwan were on friendly terms now, “we uh, we’re friends now.”   
  
Seungri looked suitably shocked. “Friends? You and Kim Jinhwan? The little guy who beat you twice and you hated?” Junhoe nodded, while Seungri looked confused. “How did that happen?”   
  
Junhoe didn’t really feel like talking about it (because now he was thinking about his intense overreaction to the news at first and he was a little embarrassed) but he probably didn’t have much of a choice, because Seungri was remembering as quickly as Junhoe. “Oh wait, your best friend’s dating his best friend, right? I guess you came around eventually?” Seungri grinned, also thinking about Junhoe’s overly dramatic response to the situation.   
  
“Yeah we actually got to know each other, and I guess he’s not that bad of a guy after all.” Man, it was embarrassing to say it out loud?   
  
“Wow, that’s huge, Junhoe-ya! You really despised him.” Seungri’s tone was a mixture of honest admiration and amused mockery, and Junhoe wasn’t sure which one was the prevalent emotion.   
  
Junhoe frowned and took another sip of water. He really hoped Seungri wasn’t going to keep harping on about this. “Yeah, well, we’re friends now so it’s fine.”   
  
“We’ll see if that lasts at the tournament, huh? What happens if you fight him?” Seungri asked it as a joke, but when Junhoe didn’t laugh he got a little more serious. “You worried about that?”   
  
Junhoe hated admitting to stuff like this, but maybe it would be good to talk about it? He couldn’t do it with anyone other than Seungri, though. His other trainers probably wouldn’t really understand the depths of his concerns. But he was closest to Seungri, had shown enough of his personality for him to understand how his mind worked. “A little?”   
  
Seungri shuffled a little closer until he was shoulder to shoulder with Junhoe. “What are you worried about? Him beating you again, or how you’ll react if he beats you?”   
  
Junhoe shrugged. “Everything, honestly. I try not to take losses personally, but if he beats me again and teases me, what if I’m heated up in the moment and say something harsh back to him? What if I beat him, and he’s a sore loser? I feel like we just finally got to be real friends, and I don’t want that to get ruined by a fight.” Saying it out loud made it more real. Junhoe honestly didn’t have that many people that he considered a real friend. But he felt like Jinhwan was someone he wanted to be friends with? So he didn’t want to screw it up.   
  
Seungri didn’t respond for a moment, sitting and thinking and staring. “You actually do really like him, don’t you? You’re not exaggerating when you say you’re friends.”   
  
Junhoe nodded. “Our friends are really happy that we’re friends now, but that could get ruined if we act like assholes to each other. I don’t want to be the one that ruins it.” It felt weird to admit it all out loud, and he wasn’t sure that it made him feel any better. Just made him feel even more nervous.   
  
“Have you guys talked about it?” Seungri asked, curious to be seeing this side of Junhoe. It wasn’t often that he admitted to vulnerability like this (it was often disguised with angry and defensive overtones). This was a rarity.   
  
“No, do you think we should?” Junhoe asked, legitimately looking for advice. It would feel weird bringing it up, but maybe he was right? They’d had such a good night together on Thursday (Junhoe still thought about the end, when they dropped him off back home and Jinhwan had actually hugged him, packing every ounce of gratitude into the embrace he could muster up) and he wondered if they were ready to have a talk like that on their own?   
  
“Of course. He might be feeling the same way, or he might not even be thinking about it at all. Maybe he won’t take anything personally that gets said, and if he doesn’t know that you might, then he might tease you if you react harshly without thinking about it, not expecting you to be bothered. So if you want to keep your friendship going well, you should bring it up.” Seungri wasn’t sure if he could actually see Junhoe doing that, but the fact that he was thinking about it was a step in the right direction, at least.   
  
Junhoe nodded, still feeling weird about the whole thing. Maybe he’d ask Hanbin’s advice on how to bring it up with Jinhwan. “Thanks, hyung. I’ll try and take your advice.”   
  
Seungri grinned and patted his knee. “Good! You spent long enough coming in angry every day, I don’t want a repeat of that! Now finish up with your water and you and I can spar for a bit! You need to try keeping that hold on someone with stronger arms than Chunghee.”   


* * *

  
“Hey, hyung, is there anything that Jeeyoung is better at than you?” Bobby had waited until he and his brother were a few minutes into the woods, feeling more comfortable discussing this in the solitude of the forest’s running path. It was an uncomfortable topic for him to admit to out loud.  
  
Jiun looked at his little brother, curiosity in his gaze. Bobby wasn’t looking back at him, though, and it had him slightly concerned. “Of course there is. Why are you asking?”  
  
Bobby swallowed nervously, unable to look Jiun in the eyes. Usually his brother had to drag these kinds of conversations out of him with a pair of needle nose pliers, so it felt weird to launch into it on his own, even with the added distraction of their run. “Just curious how you deal with it.”  
  
Jiun wondered if he ought to make Bobby stop running, if it would be better for them to sit down and talk. Maybe not, though. Maybe he needed something else to concentrate on while he talked. “Is this about Hanbin?”  
  
“Can you just answer my question?” Bobby asked, insecurity nipping at his tongue. He didn’t mean to be so snappy, but how had Jiun figured it out already?  
  
Jiun looked at him briefly again, but he answered. “There are definitely things she’s better than me at, but she’s my girlfriend, we’re not in a competition, so it doesn’t matter. It’s nice to see her doing things that she excels at. I don’t have to worry about her, because I know she’s strong, she can handle things on her own. Sometimes I ask her for help, same way sometimes she asks me for help with the things that I’m better at. It’s just a natural part of any relationship, finding the things that make you stronger as a couple than you would be alone.”  
  
Bobby frowned at the answer. “I feel like that’s my problem with Hanbin,” he said, eyes still trained on the ground in front of him, “I don’t think I bring _anything_ to the relationship.”  
  
_Ah, there it is!_ Jiun knew how proud of a person his brother was, so this conversation was important. “Ah, that can’t be true!” Jiun replied. “What is he better at than you?”  
  
“Everything,” Bobby answered with a huff, “he’s way smarter than me, he’s a better athlete, he’s more confident, he’s got a plan for what he wants in life, he’s more mature than I am, he’s better looking than I am, his family’s rich--just, everything.” It made him feel so vulnerable, speaking it all out loud like this. But he was desperate to find some kind of answer.  
  
“Ah, see those aren’t necessarily what you should be looking at! Intelligence, well you can’t help that, right? Some people are just born with a brain meant for learning, while the rest of us have to struggle to keep up. Athletics doesn’t count for anything—you’re both accomplished, and you’ve both taken what you need from it. Just because he’s got his boxing thing, doesn’t mean it diminishes your basketball! You can’t compare team sports and individual sports, and you’re a fantastic captain for your team. Looks, well, I feel your pain in that department, but if he thinks you’re attractive, that’s the only thing that should matter! As for maturity, well, you’re still teenagers, so he’s just unusual!” Jiun had no idea if he was saying the right thing to Bobby. He’d never been in the situation his brother was in.  
  
“He’s not unusual, he’s impressive! I _used to_ feel impressive, but when I compare us I don’t feel that way. And don’t say that no matter how good you are, there’s always someone better! That’s not the point.” Bobby fought to maintain control of his breathing and kept his eyes on the ground, dodging rocks and roots. He was glad he’d waited to talk until now, because it was easier to get everything out while focused on ensuring that he didn’t trip.  
  
“The point is that you’re intimidated by your own boyfriend, right?”  
  
Bobby nodded, and it made him feel like shit but it was true. “Yeah, I know it sounds stupid but I can’t help it. I don’t know what to do.”  
  
Jiun wasn’t really sure what would be best for Bobby to hear right now, so he took his chances and just hoped it would work out. “Do you want to break up with him?”  
  
“No!” Bobby’s answer was immediate and exact, and Jiun couldn’t help but smile.  
  
“What do you want, then?”  
  
“I don’t know,” Bobby wasn’t sure what he was even upset about, “I’m just not used to feeling this way about someone. I always dated guys who kind of looked up to me, you know?”  
  
“You’re worried he doesn’t.”  
  
“I _know_ he doesn’t. Why would he?” Bobby tried not to sound whiny, because he wanted Jiun to treat this like a real question.  
  
“Do you want him to?” Jiun spared him a glance again, trying to figure out what _really_ had Bobby upset.  
  
“I don’t know? I like him the way he is, honestly I don’t want to change anything about him. It’s _me._ I’m the one who needs to change. I need to be better.” No one had ever made him feel like he wasn’t good enough before, and it was a tough change in dynamic for him to navigate. Usually if someone was obviously that much better than him at things, Bobby wouldn’t even try to be friends with them. Hanbin had busted his way into Bobby’s life without any warning, though, and Bobby didn’t want to let him go over this.  
  
“You’re worried he’s going to fall for someone better than you, aren’t you?” Jiun watched him, could see the insecurity plain as day on his face.  
  
Bobby couldn’t answer with words, though, so he just nodded.  
  
“Do you love him, Jiwon?”  
  
_Love._ Bobby had never felt like he’d ever been _in love_ before, he’d never been that deep into someone else. But Hanbin?  
  
“I don’t know.” Nope. He wasn’t going to let Jiun bring _love_ into this just yet! He wasn’t ready to think about that.  
  
“Ah, Jiwon, I think you know. No sense in hiding the feelings.” Jiun reached out to grab his brother’s arm, pulling them both to a stop. Bobby tried to turn away from him, but Jiun wasn’t about to let him go. “Hey, it’s not gonna help anything if you’re not honest.”  
  
Bobby crossed his arms over his chest, breathing hard even though he’d barely broken a sweat.  
  
“Be honest, Jiwon. Are you in love with Hanbin?”  
  
_Alright, fine. Time to be honest._ “Yeah, I think so.” _Of course he was!_   
  
“Do you think he loves you?”  
  
Did Hanbin _love_ him? Bobby thought about it, pictured Hanbin in his mind. Thought about the way Hanbin smiled every time they saw each other (like Bobby was the only thing he wanted to look at), thought about the happy little sighs Hanbin would make when they cuddled up (they were so second nature he made them in public, too), thought about how every single day without fail, Hanbin would send him a good morning message (and a goodnight one, too). You didn’t do that for a passing crush, did you?  
  
“He does.” Bobby was sure of it. Hanbin wasn’t the problem—it was Bobby’s sense of pride that was complicating matters.  
  
“You just don’t know _why_ he loves you, right?” Bobby nodded, and Jiun was pleased at how easily he’d figured out the issue. “Ask him why he loves you, then. Sometimes it’s easy to forget about the things we do really well because they don’t seem important to us. But when you ask someone who loves you why they do, you might be surprised at what you hear. I’m sure he’s got a ton of things to gush about, I can it in his eyes when he looks at you.”  
  
Bobby’s brow furrowed in surprise at Jiun’s comment. “You think so?”  
  
“Absolutely! Even mom told me the same thing after she met him.”  
  
“She did?” Bobby was floored by that admission. He knew his mom had liked Hanbin after meeting him just the one time, but she hadn’t said anything to him more than _“ah, Jiwon-ie, he’s very sweet!”_  
  
Jiun nodded, glad he had the opportunity to tell Bobby about her comments. She’d wanted to tell Bobby herself, but she’d been wary of pressuring him with sentimental thoughts. “She said that he looks at you like you’re the moon, bright eyed and full of wonder. She told me that she hoped you were going to be serious about him, because she was worried that he might get hurt if you weren’t.”  
  
“Wait, mom’s worried about him and not me?!” Okay, he wasn’t quite sure how to take that?  
  
Jiun laughed at his outburst. “Ah, mom’s a softie, she worries about everyone! But you have to admit, your track record hasn’t exactly been long-term, Jiwon. I think she could see how much he likes you, and she wants you to be with someone who thinks you’re as great as she does.”  
  
“Yeah, well mom loves him, that much was obvious.” Bobby joked back, but he still felt a little weird about his mother’s comments. Okay, so he had dated a few guys (and a few girls before he’d come out as gay) but was it really that many for his mom to want him to settle on one person already? Should he be settling on one person already?  
  
“I think mom will be devastated if you break up with him.” Jiun teased back. “Don’t feel like Mom’s not on your side, though. She knows you really well, so she knows what kind of guy is right for you, and she’s a really good judge of character.”  
  
Bobby couldn’t help but smile at Jiun’s comment. That was something he hadn’t considered, but suddenly it made him feel a lot better. If his mom thought Hanbin was that good for him, then clearly there had to be something he was missing?  
  
“Don’t overthink it, Jiwon. If you’re happy with Hanbin, _be happy._ Having a strong and loving connection with someone is the most important thing in a good relationship. There’s no point in anything else if you don’t have that connection.”  
  
Bobby nodded, because it was a good point. His parents were still very much in love after all these years together, so clearly his mom knew a thing or two about what was important in a long-term partner. And Jiun was right about her being a good judge of character--she hadn’t really liked either of Jiun’s previous girlfriends, but after meeting Jeeyoung once, she’d whispered to her husband that Jeeyoung would probably be _the one._  
  
So if she thought Hanbin was _the one_ for him, then he’d just have to work on himself a little bit harder.  


* * *

  
“So how are things with Bobby?” Donghyuk asked, laying his pencil down and stretching.   
  
Hanbin immediately smiled at the question, even though it made him feel like a bit of a dork. “Perfect, I think. I’m really happy with him still! Like honestly, there isn’t a thing about him I’d change?”   
  
“Nothing at all?” Donghyuk asked, happy for Hanbin but still curious.   
  
Hanbin shook his head. “Nothing I’ve found yet.”   
  
“Not even the bunny teeth?” Donghyuk teased, grinning when it made Hanbin laugh.   
  
“Nope! They have a special charm about them, I think.” It almost felt a little disgusting, but Hanbin really couldn’t think of anything about Bobby that he’d change. The more he got to know of him, the more it seemed that Bobby hit every single mark that he’d ever wanted in a guy.   
  
“Ah, I’m  happy for you! It’s nice to see good people being happy.” Donghyuk meant what he said. Ever since he’d moved back, meeting Hanbin had been the best thing that had happened to him. He was a lifesaver, really, making Donghyuk’s transition back to Korea so much easier. Hanbin was a good guy who cared a lot about other people, and Donghyuk felt grateful that he’d met him.   
  
“Hey, can I ask you a personal question? You don’t have to answer if you don’t want to.” Despite being friends for only a short period of time, Donghyuk still felt comfortable talking to Hanbin, felt like Hanbin had a much more lenient line for conversational topics than most others had. “Have you and Bobby, you know, have you fucked yet?”   
  
Hanbin couldn’t help but blush at the question, looking away and laughing before turning back to Donghyuk. “Ah, no, not yet!” He laughed at Donghyuk’s lack of a filter. He wasn’t bothered by the question, though, because it was something that had been on his mind. He didn’t exactly have anyone to talk to about it, though.   
  
Donghyuk was relieved he hadn’t thought the question was too much. He was used to having open and frank conversations with his friends back in the US, but he knew that a question like this wouldn’t be quite so welcome to most here. “Do you want to?”   
  
Hanbin looked down at the floor again, still a little embarrassed despite wanting to talk about it. Did he want to have sex with Bobby? “Yeah, I do!”   
  
“Have you ever before?” Donghyuk asked, curious about his answer.   
  
“No,” Hanbin met his eyes again, “have you?”   
  
Donghyuk shook his head. “No. Came close with the last guy I dated, but we just stopped at uh, fingering each other.”   
  
“How was that?” Hanbin asked, curious for information. “I only dated one guy and the most we did was give each other hand jobs. He gave me a blow job once, but I never got to return the favour.” Honestly he’d been afraid to try, afraid of screwing it up.   
  
“Ah, it was interesting! Like it kind of hurt at first? Not terrible, probably because we didn’t know what we were doing. But it ended up being really good!” Donghyuk had been terrified to try it at first, but he was glad for the experience. They’d done it a few times, all in preparation for more, but they’d broken up before getting the chance.   
  
Hanbin nodded. “I want to do more with Bobby, but we just never get much time alone together.”   
  
“Yeah, that’s tough.” Everything here was so much busier than it had been back in the US, and he’d noticed that the dating culture was even different. While some couples were overt in their togetherness, a lot of couples hid their relationships. It was difficult trying to navigate what was “normal” and what wasn’t.   
  
Hanbin leaned back against the wall, twirling his pencil in his fingers. “With my old boyfriend I just always felt insecure all the time? It’s weird, I don’t know why. I always felt like he was judging me for everything? I don’t think he really was, but I always felt like I had to act around him. But with Bobby I don’t feel insecure at all. I feel like he’s always supportive, I feel like I could talk to him about anything and he wouldn’t laugh at me for it.” His relationship with Woosung hadn’t been that bad, and most of the issues had been caused by both of them being inexperienced in romance.   
  
“That’s really cute, Hanbin. That you feel so good with Bobby. I’m jealous, wish I could find a guy that I can be myself around.” Despite the good parts of his last relationship, he’d felt similar to what Hanbin had described at times--a wariness to display everything in his personality.   
  
“Yeah, the weirdest thing too is that my ex, we were the same age, but Bobby’s older. But it doesn’t feel that way? Even when we hang out with Jinhwan, he’s never fussed about speaking to him respectfully or anything. You’d think there would be at least a bit of awkwardness at first with someone older, right? There never was, not even from day one.” The more he thought about it, the more everything just _fit_ with Bobby. Hanbin wasn’t the type who believed in fate or soul mates or anything like that, but it felt like Bobby was _made_ for him? Maybe it was just youth and inexperience talking again, getting too high on something after experiencing something that hadn’t been as good.   
  
He wanted to think that wasn’t it, though. Hanbin was a pretty realistic person, and he liked to approach situations thinking logically, liked to make sense of things. Things just naturally made sense with Bobby.   
  
“That actually makes it even cuter, really. Bobby must really like you.”   
  
Hanbin just smiled at the comment, because he was pretty sure that what Donghyuk said was exactly the case. Bobby seemed so much more _into_ him than Woosung had ever seemed. He often caught Bobby looking at him with fond expressions, fonder than anything he was used to seeing. It was nice.   
  
“Hey, Dong-ie? Did you ever give your ex a blowjob?” Hanbin could already feel his cheeks burning, and he was grateful that Donghyuk didn’t laugh at him for asking.   
  
“Of course I did! Why, do you want some pointers?” He teased, grinning when Hanbin laughed nervously. It was cute, seeing him insecure about something for once.   
  
“Uh, that wouldn’t be weird, right?” Hanbin desperately wanted pointers! He actually had no idea if Bobby was experienced or not, that conversation hadn’t come up yet. He’d like to at least have some idea of what to expect before they did, though.   
  
“No, it’s not weird at all! It’s good, actually. What good are friends if we don’t share our knowledge, right?” Hanbin seemed to get a little more comfortable after that comment, finally able to look him in the eyes. “If you want I’ll even give you some pointers on fingering.” As quickly as it had cleared up, the blush spread across Hanbin’s face again and Donghyuk couldn’t help but laugh.   
  
Hanbin laughed too, though, and even though he was a little embarrassed for asking, he was grateful to Donghyuk for offering. “Ah, thanks! I figure it’s better to go into it knowing _something_ rather than nothing at all, right?”   
  
“Absolutely! How good is your English, by the way? Cause I have a really good book I got in the US about gay sex that I can lend you, if you want? It’s really informative.” It had been a surprising gift from his older host family brother after coming out. Donghyuk had been nervous about telling his host family in the US, but they’d been very supportive of him. The book had come before his older brother had left for college: _‘Look, I know I don’t know much cause I’m straight, but I asked a gay friend of mine and he said this book is something you need to read if you’re into guys, so you better read it!’_ Donghyuk had read it. He was willing to pass it on to Hanbin.   
  
“Ah, really? I’d appreciate that! I can understand English really well, so I’d definitely read it if you wouldn’t mind.” Reading a book might help! At least it would be a way to have a general understanding of what was supposed to happen.   
  
Donghyuk got up from his bed and crouched down in front of his bookshelf. He kept it there, behind a fantasy novel no one in his family would want to read. They all knew he was gay, of course, but that didn’t mean he really wanted them to see the book. It had some graphic illustrations that might shock his parents. He grabbed it from its hiding place and took it over to Hanbin, dropping it in his lap.   
  
“It’s all yours! Use it well. If you have any questions, let me know.”   
  
Hanbin couldn’t help but blush _again,_ and it was really annoying. Whatever. It was just because this wasn’t a topic he was used to discussing with anyone—not even Junhoe! He’d be more comfortable after he read up on things. Definitely. 

* * *

  
“Ah, you almost had it that time! Really get a good grip on the gi, Jinan! You keep letting it slip, that’s why I keep getting out.”   
  
Jinhwan nodded. He was having a solo practice session with Youngbae in prep for the tournament. Jinhwan loved these sessions, he always learned something every time he fought Youngbae. Of course his black belt instructor could sweep the floor with him if he wanted to, but he still took time out to train with him. Jinhwan liked having mock fights with someone much better than he was. It helped to keep his focus sharp, keep his mind going.   
  
He wanted to be sharp this time, because Seiyeon had surprised him when she said that she could come and watch. He wanted to be perfect for his sister, wanted her to be impressed with his skills and discipline. Wanted to prove to her _why_ his dreams for the future deserved her respect.   
  
“One more time, and this time really lock the fabric tight, okay? Because I’m going to try my hardest to get out of it, and if I do get out, you’re in trouble.” Youngbae threatened with twinkling eyes and an amused grin.   
  
“I don’t like the sound of that, hyung!” Jinhwan replied before climbing back into position. They were practicing some advanced chokes. Youngbae was teaching him how to turn a failed sliding collar choke into a bow and arrow from the back, and they’d been at it for almost an hour now. Youngbae had started out letting him gain it easily, just to get a feel for it, but for the past fifteen minutes he’d been fighting back harder, and Jinhwan hadn’t been able to hold it yet. He was determined to get it this time, though. He knew what he was doing wrong—nothing to do but fix it.   
  
The moment Youngbae gave him the go ahead Jinhwan focused, fingers flexing the fabric of Youngbae’s gi, twisting the collar and driving his palm into the fabric, locking his fingers on the inside. Youngbae was strong and wily and Jinhwan almost let him wriggle out, but he kept a firm hold and waited patiently, and soon enough he’d managed to get his other hand behind Youngbae’s knee, turning him onto his side, and he didn’t let go until he felt fingers tapping his arm signifying his trainer’s submission.   
  
He laid on his back for a second, panting with exertion, but pleased with himself.   
  
“Good job!” Youngbae said after finally getting his breath back. “That’s exactly how I want to see you holding that move. It was perfect!”   
  
“Thanks, hyung!” Jinhwan replied, proud of himself for holding it on Youngbae.   
  
“Take a breather for fifteen? I have to go make a call, but if you want to go again I’ll be back soon.” Youngbae got up off the mat and headed for his office, leaving Jinhwan on his own.   
  
That was just as well, because he wouldn’t mind a short break. He didn’t move, just remained on his back, eyes closed against the glow of the overhead lights. He wanted a moment to think.   
  
He’d been in a wondrously good mood since Thursday night. The concert had been spectacular, every bit as wonderful as he’d hoped. The music was beautiful and moving, and spending time with his mother and his sister had been needed. As much as he enjoyed being in Seoul with Bobby’s family, he missed his own.   
  
But an unexpected blessing had manifested in Junhoe’s presence. At first he’d been a little worried over how Junhoe might be around his family, but he’d been polite and friendly and had navigated his mother easily. Jinhwan still hadn’t had the chance to explain to Junhoe why he’d come up with the fake story, but Junhoe hadn’t exactly asked anyway. All that mattered is that it had worked.   
  
Junhoe had enjoyed the performance more than Jinhwan had thought he would, and on the way home had even taken down music recommendations from his mother about different albums to listen to. Jinhwan had thought it was cute, the way Junhoe kept asking his mother for her opinion on things. He was trying to leave a good impression, and Jinhwan appreciated that.   
  
But of course there was the whole issue of Junhoe looking extra hot. Jinhwan still liked to picture him in his mind, made up attractively. It was a nice visual! He’d tried to keep that opinion to himself, of course, not wanting to make Junhoe uncomfortable. It was hard, though. At the end of the night they’d driven him home and Jinhwan had walked him to his front door, just for a moment to say thank you for coming out.   
  
But as much to his own surprise as it had been to Junhoe’s, Jinhwan had reached out and hugged him. Junhoe hadn’t seemed to mind, of course, but Jinhwan knew where this was heading. The more time he spent around Junhoe, the more attracted to him he became. Not attracted for a relationship, though, just a hookup. Jinhwan didn’t want a relationship. Denied wanting a relationship when he got back in the car and his mother asked him if Junhoe had enjoyed their _date._ It wasn’t like that, he’d told her, but he didn’t think she bought it.   
  
They hadn’t talked since then (except for Junhoe thanking his mother for the music recommendations) but Jinhwan didn’t really feel weird about it? He needed time to think about it all. As much as he’d love to hook up with Junhoe, it was probably a bad idea. If things went sour they’d all be right back where they were before—especially with another tournament coming up. What was going to happen if he fought Junhoe again? Would Junhoe take the loss hard? Or would he take it gracefully? Could they still have a friendly rivalry? Jinhwan tended to get cocky before fights, he couldn’t help it. What if Junhoe took it the wrong way?   
  
Too many what-ifs to contemplate. Safer to put the thoughts out of his mind altogether.   
  
He rolled over to his stomach and crawled over to the bench, reaching up for his phone but not quite in the mood to stand up. He laid back down on the mat and swiped his phone open, pausing for a second to look at the family picture he’d gotten Junhoe to take for him that night. He wished he could take a picture like that one day at a tournament. Maybe, if Seiyeon saw how good he was…   
  
His phone rang in his hands, taking him by surprise, but he felt like hiding when he saw who was calling. _Shit._ He let it go to voicemail, feeling guilty about it. Two seconds later, though, a text message that Jinhwan grudgingly opened.   
  
_-I know you’re there, answer your phone! Youngbae told me you just made him tap out using a bow and arrow!-_   
  
Shit. _Of course!_ Youngbae kept harassing him about talking to Eric. Jinhwan couldn’t believe he’d cornered him like this! What a betrayal.   
  
He stared at his phone for a moment, eyes focused on the words, even though he was staring so hard he let his vision go blurry. Should he talk to him? Of course. He was being an idiot, it was just a phone call. He could handle a phone call. Right? No big deal?   
  
He took a deep breath before calling Eric back, rolling onto his stomach as he waited for him to pick up.   
  
“Well, that was like pulling teeth!”   
  
Jinhwan couldn’t help it, he felt himself smile out of sheer muscle memory, and as much as he wanted to tell himself that the smile and subsequent fluttering feeling he got in his stomach was just a knee jerk reaction that didn’t mean anything, he knew that was a lie.   
  
“Ah hyung, you’d make a terrible dentist, stick to fighting!” Eric laughed at his reply and Jinhwan closed his eyes, picturing him behind closed eyelids.   
  
“Oh come on! I think I’d be okay. If the anesthesia doesn’t work, I’ll choke my patients out.”   
  
Jinhwan hated how easily he laughed, hated how funny he still found him. Why did feelings take so fucking long to die??   
  
“That would probably be bad for business?”   
  
“My dentist business, sure. Might drive up the jiu jitsu, though?” Jinhwan could practically _hear_ him grinning. “Alright enough playful conversation! I know you’re training for the upcoming tournament, and I just wanted to call and let you know that I’m going to be there.”   
  
Jinhwan swore his heart stopped beating for a few seconds, everything just seemed to stop entirely. He should have expected this, _why hadn’t he expected this?!_   
  
“Jinan? I’m bringing a couple of fighters up, but I wanted to see if maybe you wanted to get together for a bit? Finally have that damn talk about California?”   
  
Jinhwan couldn’t breathe, was still stuck on the news. Eric. At the tournament. _Seiyeon!_ Shit. This wasn’t good, not at all. What was he supposed to say? He didn’t want to see Eric, not at all _(that was a lie)_ and he’d have to tell Seiyeon, have to explain that it was a coincidence, that he hadn’t known. Because she’d just think he was still hung up, right? _(Was he still hung up?)_   
  
“I don’t know why you keep dodging me, Jinan, but if you’re serious about training in California, we need to talk about it. If you changed your mind and you don’t want to, that’s fine, let me know and I’ll quit bugg-”   
  
“No! No I want to go,” Jinhwan interrupted, the words spilling out in a rush, “I’m sorry I haven’t called, I am.”   
  
Eric didn’t reply at first, and Jinhwan could see the look on his face, the soft expression of understanding and concern. Finally Eric let out a long breath before replying. “Let me guess—you haven’t talked to your mom about it yet, have you?”   
  
“No.” What more was there to say? Eric had been there in person, had seen the progression from the fifteen year old who cried when his mother refused to show up to the indifferent seventeen year old who didn’t even ask her anymore. He understood, but his understanding made Jinhwan feel inexplicably vulnerable, and he hated it.   
  
“Jinan, the clock is ticking, kiddo.”   
  
It was funny, sometimes, the things that felt the most like a slap across the face.   
  
“Don’t call me that.” Those memories were too much, made him feel too much right now.   
  
Eric laughed it off, though, and it made it all sting a little less. “Sorry, force of habit. So are you still up for talking about this face to face?”   
  
Was he? Would it really be okay? “Yeah, actually I’d like that.”   
  
“It’ll be nice to see you again. Good to catch up! I want to see you in action, too! Youngbae said you’re looking sharper all the time. I look forward to seeing that!”   
  
Jinhwan couldn’t help but smile, because he wanted to show just much he’d improved, wanted Eric to watch him decimate his opponents. Maybe he kind of just wanted to see _him_ too? Wanted to see what was different, what was the same.   
  
That didn’t mean he wanted anything. Because he didn’t. Maybe he still kind of had feelings. But that’s all they were.   
  
And they didn’t mean _anything._


	16. Knee Knocks and Knee Locks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> National tournament day one—is Jinhwan ready to face his old trainer/ex-boyfriend again?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter opens with a flashback to Jinhwan's first jiu jitsu tournament appearance with Eric as his trainer (when he was a newly promoted blue belt). It's a little over two years ago, story-wise.

_“I see you’ve brought your little protégé! Been hearing about this kid, gotta say I’m excited to see him fight.”_ _  
_ _  
_ _“Laugh it up now, Byung-sshi, you’ll be cursing me later, though.”_ _  
_ _  
_ _“Cursing you for what, Eric, making me laugh too hard? How old’s your kid, anyway? Ten?”_ _  
_ _  
_ _“The more you pile it on now, the worse you’re going to feel later when he kicks your fighter’s ass.”_ _  
_ _  
_ _“Only way that’s gonna happen is if Kyungil-ah trips!”_ _  
_ _  
_ _Jinhwan listened to the exchange and nervously pulled at the ends of his knotted blue belt, trying to ignore the jabs of the other trainer (he hadn’t missed the dismissive way the guy had quickly looked him over). This was his first appearance in a tournament as a blue belt. While part of him was proud at being selected to represent their club, another part of him wished he could have competed first in something local back on the island. When he’d looked over the bracket listing on the way in, he hadn’t recognized any names in his division. He’d recognized the majority of the green belt fighters, though._ _  
_ _  
_ _“I’d love to stay and talk shit with you, Byung, but we’ll leave that for later." Eric ended the conversation and draped an arm around Jinhwan’s shoulders, quickly steering him into the gym. “Don’t worry about him, he likes to talk up his club all the time but I’ve seen every single one of his students fight, and not a single one of them can hold a proper omoplata.”_ _  
_ _  
_ _Jinhwan couldn’t help but grin, both at the comment, and at the arm around his shoulders. He’d only been training with Eric for about seven months but they had a very tight bond already. Even though he was his instructor, Jinhwan really preferred to think of him like the older brother he’d always wanted. “Ah hyung, I’m not worried!”_ _  
_ _  
_ _“Sure you’re not,” Eric replied, ruffling his hand in Jinhwan’s hair, “it’s good to be nervous, especially before your first fight at blue belt. It’s a big step up for you, so it’s important to respect your opponents.”_ _  
_ _  
_ _“I know, and I do!”_ _  
_ _  
_ _“Except this first one, you don’t have to respect Lee Kyungil, he’s got piss poor technique and he’s a snotty little brat on top of it.” Eric whispered into his ear, laughing at Jinhwan’s shocked gasp._ _  
_ _  
_ _“Hyung!” Jinhwan couldn’t help but laugh, surprised at the words but kind of comforted? This was part of what made Eric stand out as a trainer. Maybe it was his relatively young age, but Jinhwan thought it probably had a little to do with all the time he’d spent in the US as well. He wasn’t quite as strict as the others._ _  
_ _  
_ _“Don’t tell anyone I said that.” Eric joked back with him. “In all honesty, you definitely have a more solid technique than he does. I watched him two months ago and he was still looking sloppy in his defense. I really don’t think you’ll have trouble getting him into a submission? He’s got more power than you, but he makes a lot of mistakes. To tell you the truth, I think they promoted him up too early. I would have kept him at green if he were my student.”_ _  
_ _  
_ _Jinhwan smiled at the comment. Every so often Eric would talk about fighters from other clubs, pointing out their lacking points and how he would fix things for them. It made Jinhwan feel like he was really training with someone who knew what he was doing, who understood every little intricacy of the sport. Further than that, though, was that every time Eric happened to point out someone’s fault, it was against something that Jinhwan himself had mastered. So it kind of felt like Eric was saying, in his own way, “my student is better than this guy”._ _  
_ _  
_ _It just made him feel special._ _  
_ _  
_ _“When you fight this guy, Jinan-ie, try and get the submission, okay? I always tell Byung he needs to work on submission defense with his fighters but he brushes me off. Too much pride.”_ _  
_ _  
_ _“That doesn’t seem like a good response from a trainer. Does he have something against you?”_ _  
_ _  
_ _“Of course he does, it’s called jealousy.” Eric replied with a wink. “We fought each other two years ago when I was home visiting my family over the holidays. I was still a brown belt, he’d been in the circuit with his black for a while. It was just a fun sparring opportunity, since everyone was making a big deal out of my training with the Gracies in California. Scoffed when he saw me, made it obvious that he thought he was above me. I submitted him in three minutes.”_ _  
_ _  
_ _Jinhwan grinned at the answer. “What move did you beat him with?”_ _  
_ _  
_ _Eric grinned back at him. “What do you think?”_ _  
_ _  
_ _Jinhwan remembered his comment of earlier. “Omoplata?”_ _  
_ _  
_ _Eric ruffled his hair again. “Fucking right it was the omoplata.”_ _  
_ _  
_ _Jinhwan couldn’t help the feeling of butterflies in his stomach—it was just so nice to have such a comfortable relationship with him! He really looked up to Eric, respected him in a way he rarely respected anyone. For someone so amazing to be so friendly with him was really nice. “So you’re saying I should try and submit his fighter using an omoplata?”_ _  
_ _  
_ _Eric laughed at the suggestion, and it made Jinhwan’s smile even wider. “You’re so smart, Jinan-ie! Picking up on my hints.”_ _  
_ _  
_ _Jinhwan beamed at the praise. “I’ll do my best, hyung.”_ _  
_ _  
_ _“That’s all I ask, in the end! Even if you lose, as long as you learn something, that’s the most important part.”_ _  
_ _  
_ _“I know. But I still want to win anyway.”_ _  
_ _  
_ _Eric looked down at him in silence for a moment (direct eye contact that Jinhwan almost couldn’t handle) before nodding. “I have every expectation for you to win. But just fight your best and I’ll be proud of you no matter what.”_ _  
_ _  
_ _An hour later and they were sitting in the stands. Jinhwan had taken Eric’s advice and locked Kyungil up in an omoplata, right in front of his trainer, and secured a fast submission. The look of unrestrained pride on Eric’s face made Jinhwan feel almost invincible, like no one could even hope to defeat him._ _  
_ _  
_ _“Really, Jinan-ie, it was just perfect all around. You could see it in the way you approached the fight, even. Your focus is no joke, kiddo! You’re scary on the mat.”_ _  
_ _  
_ _Jinhwan smiled at the English nickname. He hadn’t really thought much of it until one of the other students had asked him what it meant, pointing out that Jinhwan was the only one Eric ever called “kiddo”. Ever since then, Jinhwan beamed every time he caught Eric using it._ _  
_ _  
_ _“I know, hyung, I’m lucky!”_ _  
_ _  
_ _“You’re not lucky, Jinhwan, you’re talented! You have a natural gift for this sport.”_ _  
_ _  
_ _Jinhwan laughed at Eric’s reply, at his almost offended tone. “No hyung, I mean I’m lucky that I have you as a trainer.”_ _  
_ _  
_ _Eric’s expression softened immediately. “Ah, Jinhwan! You’re too cute for this sport.”_ _  
_ _  
_ _“You’re not supposed to call me cute on matchday!” Jinhwan pretended offense, but in reality he’d gladly have Eric call him cute. Any compliment was welcome._ _  
_ _  
_ _“It’s fine. The cuter they all think you are, the worse they’ll feel when you beat them, right?”_ _  
_ _  
_ _Jinhwan nodded, face still lit up in a bright smile. Eric believed in his ability, and right now that was all the support Jinhwan needed to get over the nerves of upcoming matches. He was a skilled fighter already, and he deserved to be here. Any time he questioned that, Eric always had a way of reminding him._

* * *

  
“Eric Kwon! Where the hell have you been?”  
  
Jinhwan stopped in his tracks, flattened back against the wall and quickly looked around the hallway, searching for a familiar face that he wasn’t quite ready to see yet. The only people milling about were strangers to him, though, fighters, trainers, and their families.  
  
“Woobin! Wow, have the years been unkind to you, my friend!”  
  
The voices came from around the corner, and Jinhwan remained against the wall to catch his breath and slow his heart a little. He hadn’t been at the venue long yet and the first thing he’d done upon arrival was scout around for Eric. He hadn’t found him, though. He’d left Bobby in the stands while he’d gone to the bathroom (he hadn’t actually needed to go, but it was the only place left he hadn’t checked yet) and was headed back to Bobby now that his search had turned up empty. But Eric was right around the corner, and it was a little too close for Jinhwan to handle right now.  
  
“Ah, still the same old asshole I see. How’ve you been? I haven’t seen you since you left for the US! Too good to keep in touch with an old friend, huh?” Jinhwan remained where he was, desperate to listen to the conversation. Maybe it would help calm his nerves a little. “I hear you have some genius new student? Had to go looking for someone worth your time after your little golden boy left you?”  
  
Jinhwan’s breath caught in his throat at the comment, “golden boy”—they were talking about him. Jinhwan was Eric’s _golden boy._ Who was this new genius student, though? Must be someone brand new who hadn’t been training at the club when Jinhwan had left. He listened more closely, desperate to hear information.  
  
“Ah, yeah is that what they’re saying now?” Eric’s teasing voice responded. “I guess they must be talking about you, huh?” A bubble of laughter that Jinhwan didn’t recognize met the question. “This is my newest student, Park Jimin! Jimin-ah, this is an old friend of mine, Jung Woobin. We actually started our jiu jitsu training together when we were kids, believe it or not!”  
  
_Park Jimin._ Jinhwan etched the name into his memory, needing to remember it so he could check out where this kid was listed in the schedule. Was he a purple belt as well? Or was he still just a blue? If he was a purple belt, would Jinhwan get to fight him? How good was he really if he was being teased with the genius nickname? Could he be as good as Jinhwan was?  
  
“I looked over the brackets, saw your old boy is here too! Kim Jinhwan! Watched him at the last tournament, still as lethal as ever. You really have a way with training the small ones, huh?”  
  
“Hey, I don’t pick the superstars, they pick me!” Eric joked back, and Jinhwan felt so _weird_ hearing his own name from some stranger’s mouth.  
  
“Looks like they have a chance at meeting in the final, if they both get there. What odds are you taking if it happens? New kid versus the old kid? Who’s your winner?”  
  
“Ah seriously, what kind of question is that?” Eric groaned, and Jinhwan’s heart raced suddenly, because he wanted to know what Eric was thinking. Wanted to know who he thought was better. There was no way he could be training someone better than him. No way. He’d have heard of this Jimin kid by now!  
  
“Hyung!”  
  
A new voice. Jimin?  
  
“Hyung come on, why are you even hesitating?” The voice had a whiny, petulant quality about it that already had hairs standing on the back of Jinhwan’s neck. “You’re going to pick me, right?”  
  
“Ah, Jimin-ah, you’re both excellent fighters--”  
  
“Hyung, you’re seriously hurting my confidence right now!” Jinhwan couldn’t help but sneer at the whining response. He hated this Jimin kid already. It didn’t matter to him that Jimin was probably just being playful with his coach--it was irritating and bratty and Jinhwan felt like punching him already.  
  
The group was laughing, though, and Jinhwan wondered what sort of looking Eric was giving Jimin? Did he look at him they way he’d looked at Jinhwan, back at the beginning? Affection and pride in his eyes? Had Eric gotten close to him, the way he’d gotten close to Jinhwan?  
  
No. No, of course not. What he and Eric had had… Not possible now for someone else. If Jinhwan hadn’t been enough… No way some new kid would even come close. It was just professional. That’s all it could be.  
  
“Ah listen to you, you big whiner! Of course I’d choose you to win it all.”  
  
There it was. Eric had chosen Jimin. A sudden sense of rage flooded Jinhwan’s system, rage coupled with betrayal and jealousy and a childish desire to walk around the corner and tell Eric to go fuck himself. Eric thought he’d found a replacement for him? He’d replaced his _golden boy_ with a _genius?_  
  
Park Jimin was going to be _destroyed._  
  
Jinhwan pushed his way off the wall and stalked back into the gym, wanting to put as much distance between himself and Eric as possible. He knew it wouldn’t last long, but he couldn’t chance seeing him right now because he didn’t trust himself to react calmly. He paused at the board to look over the groups, eyes scanning for that fucking name.  
  
Earlier he’d found out that he and Junhoe were in opposing groups with their only chance to meet up being all the way at the top in the final match. It was kind of exciting, the thought of fighting Junhoe again. A little weird since they were friends now. The match would undoubtedly be different than the last tournament. Jinhwan hoped he would be able to refrain from teasing Junhoe, but he hoped they’d be able to fight without any awkwardness afterwards. He’d try to win, of course, but he wouldn’t be malicious like he’d been the last time.  
  
Park Jimin changed things, though. Jimin was in a third group, and Jinhwan’s heart sank when he saw that Jimin’s route to Jinhwan lay directly through Junhoe.  
  
Jinhwan was torn. On one hand of course he wanted Junhoe to win, because he was a great fighter and he deserved to go as far as he could. But on the other hand, Jinhwan was _desperate_ to face Eric’s new fighter. Wanted to destroy him right in front of Eric. Wanted to submit him using a damn omoplata just to rub salt in the wounds. Wanted Eric to watch as he dismantled his new _genius._  
  
God, he was starting to sound like some bitter ex. He needed to calm down before this affected him any worse. If he spent his fights focused on Eric, he’d possibly slip up and pay for it. He needed to refocus on himself and forget about this Jimin kid. Forget about Eric. He left the board and made his way back to Bobby, eager to see his face and hear his voice so he could use him to drive Eric out of his thoughts. Bobby was texting and from the look on his face Jinhwan was sure it was Hanbin he was talking to. Jinhwan was still surprised at the way Bobby was approaching this new relationship. He’d never been _cute_ with any of his other boyfriends, never gotten mushy and ridiculous. It was sweet, the way Hanbin was changing him. Jinhwan liked seeing it on Bobby.  
  
“Are you being gross right now?” Jinhwan teased as he approached, and he leaned down behind Bobby, wrapping his arms around his best friend’s shoulders, draping himself over Bobby’s back. He was cuddling in an attempt to push Eric further from his brain, and he was grateful that Bobby wasn’t pushing him away.  
  
“Oh shut up,” Bobby replied with a smile, “they’re almost here. Listen though, before they do get here, do we need to have a talk about you and Junhoe?”  
  
“What about us?” Jinhwan asked, shifting a little to look at Bobby’s face.  
  
“He hasn’t said anything, but Hanbin thinks he’s nervous about what’ll happen if you guys fight each other. None of us want you guys being awkward and unfriendly again, so please be nice to him.”  
  
Jinhwan grinned, not surprised that the request came from Hanbin. He always seemed to be two steps ahead of them all in terms of emotional intelligence. “The only time we might meet is if we both make it to the final, and in that fight you can’t afford to have any friends!”  
  
“Jinan! I’m being serious.”  
  
Jinhwan hugged him tighter. “I know, I’m just joking. I plan on being really nice to Junhoe all day, even if we do fight each other. I won’t be an asshole, not even as a joke. I know he’s more sensitive than I am.”  
  
Bobby seemed relieved with the answer. “Okay good, just making sure. I’ve enjoyed watching you two get along, I think you’re good friends.”  
  
Jinhwan grinned and tugged on the strings of Bobby’s hoodie. “I promise I’ll be good! I don’t want to disappoint you.”  
  
“Can’t be disappointed if I don’t expect anything good.” Bobby teased back.  
  
Jinwan laughed at his response and nuzzled his face into Bobby’s neck. Having him here was really helping at the moment, it was almost like Bobby knew that Jinhwan needed the physical closeness and light hearted teasing. “Ah, don’t be mean to me! I need your support today, it’s a big tournament!”  
  
While Jinhwan and Bobby were being playful in the stands, Junhoe and Hanbin were just arriving at the venue. Junhoe hadn’t ended up saying anything to Hanbin about Jinhwan, deciding instead to play it by ear. If Jinhwan was in a friendly mood, than he hoped he wouldn’t have anything to worry about.  
  
“Hey, let’s look at the brackets first?” Junhoe grabbed Hanbin’s arm and pulled him over to the board. Usually he never checked the brackets first and didn’t look at them until he had a team meeting. There was something about checking them right away that made him feel vulnerable, like he was worried about who he was going to be fighting. It was all a mental game, the pre-fight waiting period. But he wanted to know if there was a chance he’d be facing Jinhwan in his group.  
  
Hanbin stood next to him and didn’t say anything, aware of the change in Junhoe’s pre-fight behaviour. He had a feeling it was because of Jinhwan, but he didn’t want to say anything. While this tournament was technically smaller than the last, there were far fewer belt classes participating, so that made for more groups within Junhoe’s belt range. Unlike the last tournament, where there had been only two groups, this tournament had four. But Junhoe and Jinhwan were in opposing groups, and if Hanbin was reading things properly, the only time they might meet was in the final.  
  
Junhoe was relieved to see it. While he wouldn’t mind fighting Jinhwan again, he did not want to fight him early on. It gave him plenty of time to judge Jinhwan’s personality today.  
  
“Do you recognize anyone in your group?” Hanbin asked, looking over the names.  
  
“Yeah, I know I’ve fought one of them before, beat him of course.” Junhoe studied the other two names. “I know one of the other guys, but haven’t fought him since I got promoted. I don’t recognize the third name, though. Some guy from Jeju island. I wonder if Jinhwan knows him?”  
  
Hanbin couldn’t help but grin when Junhoe mentioned Jinhwan. Things seemed to be going well in that department, judging from Junhoe’s continued casual mentioning of Jinhwan in conversation. He always seemed to find some way to bring him up. Hanbin hadn’t drawn attention to it, of course, because he knew it would probably make Junhoe awkward.  
  
“Do you know anyone in his group?” Hanbin asked.  
  
Junhoe studied Jinhwan’s group, looking over the names and club attachments. This was a country-wide tournament, after all, unlike the previous that had been city only. He only recognized one name in Jinhwan’s group.  
  
“One guy, but I haven’t fought him either.” It was interesting to see so many names he didn’t know. Were they all older fighters who hadn’t competed in the past two tournaments ever since he’d gotten his purple belt? For the first time since promotion, Junhoe couldn’t help but feel _young._ He’d only had his purple belt for five months but there were probably guys here who’d been purple belts for years. Of course experience didn’t always mean you’d be a better fighter than someone new. Junhoe knew that when it came to the sport, he was better than average. He’d risen up quickly through the ranks at his club. It granted him confidence in the face of experience.  
  
After spending another minute looking over the other competitors they headed inside and Hanbin immediately started making his way over to Bobby and Jinhwan. He stopped suddenly, though, and looked back at Junhoe.  
  
“Do you want to sit with them for the whole thing? I didn’t even ask, I’m sorry. We can sit on our own if you want?”  
  
Junhoe shook his head, a little confused about why Hanbin was asking. But then he realized that Hanbin had probably picked up on his nerves regarding Jinhwan, and Junhoe smiled at Hanbin’s thoughtfulness. “No let’s sit with them! I mean we’re not fighting today anyway, and I don’t want to deprive you of Bobby all day. The pathetic puppy dog eyes you’d be making at him wouldn’t be worth it.”  
  
Hanbin huffed in disbelief. “I am not that bad!”  
  
“Oh yes you are!” Junhoe replied, grinning as Hanbin reached out to link their arms together. He was so grateful that Hanbin still came with him every time because no matter how he was feeling, he could always count on Hanbin to pick up on it and be helpful in some indirect way. If things did start getting awkward between he and Jinhwan, there was no way Hanbin would let it happen, Junhoe was sure of that.  
  
Jinhwan watched them walking in together and his heart felt even lighter at the sight of friends. _Forget Eric!_ He didn’t need him. Not when he had such a good group of people to surround himself with. Jinhwan waved in greeting as they got closer. “Wow, fancy meeting you guys here! It’s almost like we planned this or something!”  
  
Hanbin grinned back at him and he couldn’t help but think it was cute, seeing Jinhwan cuddled up to Bobby. Maybe people would think it was weird, seeing some other guy cuddling with his boyfriend, but they were best friends. Hanbin liked to do the same with Junhoe, after all, so it would be hypocritical of him to be upset at Jinhwan.  
  
“I know, it’s a weird place to have a double date, right?” Hanbin teased, grinning when Junhoe playfully shoved him away. Jinhwan laughed and retreated from Bobby, while Bobby held his hand out and Hanbin took it, sinking down next to him on the bench.  
  
“Should Junhoe and I go and sit by ourselves? You guys aren’t gonna be disgusting all day, are you?” Jinhwan teased, surprised when Junhoe came over to sit down next to him instead of staying beside Hanbin. It gave him a warm feeling, like Junhoe was actually seeking him out instead of just tolerating his presence.  
  
“Probably not all day, but a good majority?” Hanbin teased back before quickly leaning forward to kiss Bobby’s cheek. Bobby kissed him back, and Jinhwan still thought it was adorable how quickly Bobby would do it now.  
  
Bobby liked the change in himself too, the more he thought about it. Sure, it was weird, being all cute and cuddly with Hanbin in public. But it just made him _happy,_ and that was the most important thing, he thought. It didn’t matter anymore if people thought he was too soft for wanting to kiss his boyfriend in public. Despite the confusion of his thoughts as of late, at the end of the day he was just happy to have someone who was so open in showing his affection. For whatever reason, Hanbin really was into him, and it felt nice to get constant reminders of it.  
  
“We’ll give you guys a break when it’s time for you to fight, promise!” Bobby replied.  
  
“Ah, so selfless!” Jinhwan teased.  
  
“Yeah, Bobby hyung’s a real saint!” Junhoe added, grinning at the both of them.  
  
Bobby still felt stupidly happy when Junhoe called him hyung. Everything in the group was just getting so peaceful and comfortable, and he was relieved that Junhoe really seemed to be relaxing when he was around them now. It was nice seeing a more playful side of him emerge.  
  
“Jinan hyung, Junhoe mentioned that he’s fighting some guy from Jeju island in his group. We were curious if you knew him?” Hanbin asked.  
  
Jinhwan focused a confused gaze on Junhoe, trying to remember the brackets. Jimin wasn’t in Junhoe’s group, so did that mean that Eric had brought other fighters to the tournament? “What’s his name?”  
  
“I think it was Jang Soohyun?” Junhoe replied.  
  
“Oh, I know Soohyun!” Jinhwan answered, surprised he’d missed his name. He must have been too focused on looking for Jimin to recognize anyone else. “We trained together when I was living on Jeju. He’s really good, his submissions are really tight, that’s what he spent most of his time focusing on. Make sure you protect your back, that’s what he always tries to go for.”  
  
Junhoe was surprised at the sudden bits of information that Jinhwan was giving him. He’d trained with Soohyun for years, while they’d only been friends for a few weeks. “Were you guys friends?”  
  
Jinhwan shrugged. “Ah, not really? I mean we were friendly, we got along, but he’s a year older than me and he takes age super seriously. Like if I ever spoke to him and wasn’t perfectly respectful, he’d be offended and would ignore me for the rest of the night.” Jinhwan grinned now that he was thinking about it. “Of course I used to make it a point of not speaking to him respectfully sometimes, just to annoy him. Actually, if you really want to get under his skin, when you’re shaking hands before the fight tell him that Jinhwan sends his regards to Soo-sshi! He hates that nickname!”  
  
Junhoe laughed at the anecdote, amused at the name. Jinhwan really did have a bratty side to him, but Junhoe was seeing that it was very playful, and that made all the difference.  
  
Bobby shook his head at them. “Ah Jinan, being a bad influence already!” He had to admit it was a little cute, though, the way Junhoe was coming more and more out of his shell around Jinhwan. He was starting to see more of that attraction Hanbin had mentioned, caught the way they sometimes looked at each other when they thought the other wasn’t looking.  
  
Bobby had the sinking feeling that he was going to be losing his bet to Hanbin.  
  
Junhoe was feeling good about the day, pleased that Jinhwan seemed to be in such a good mood and that he automatically had his back in fights against former club mates. It made him confident that if they did fight each other later, it would be nothing like their first fights. He probably wouldn’t even take Jinhwan’s teasing seriously either. That was only if they both made it to the final, of course. Nothing was guaranteed, especially not with a much wider spread of competitors. There were fighters here he knew nothing about, after all. He had to remember that. He was still fresh in the ranks as a purple belt, so he couldn’t afford to be cocky and overconfident. That had gotten him an ass kicking the last time he’d done it. He had to learn from his experiences with Jinhwan.  
  
Hanbin had moved to sit in between Bobby’s legs so it was easier for him to see Jinhwan and Junhoe when they talked, and Bobby had his arms wrapped around Hanbin’s shoulders as he looked out over the crowd. He was scanning everyone there, and suddenly wondered if Jinhwan’s old trainer was here? It would make sense, if there were guys from Jinhwan’s old club. Of course he hadn’t been the only trainer, but any time Jinhwan had come to Seoul to compete, Eric had always come with him.  
  
“Hey Jinan, who came from Jeju with the fighters? Any idea?” Bobby asked, and he just missed the involuntary tensing that had seized Jinhwan with the question.  
  
“I don’t know, I guess we’ll see when Junhoe fights Soohyun.” Jinhwan replied, and he tried to keep his voice level, tried to not give himself away. Bobby didn’t know about Eric, after all. Didn’t know they’d dated, wasn’t aware of the extra layer of problems. Of course he’d ask about him.  
  
“Don’t you still keep in touch with Eric? Did he say anything about coming?” Bobby asked, curious if they’d be seeing him. He’d always liked Eric.  
  
Junhoe’s head snapped up at the name. “Eric Kwon?”  
  
Jinhwan looked at him in surprise. “Yeah, he was my coach back on Jeju.” How did Junhoe know Eric?  
  
“You trained with Eric Kwon?” Junhoe repeated, shocked at the revelation. “He’s amazing! I’ve watched his fights on-line so many times, he’s so good!”  
  
Jinhwan didn’t respond at first, because it was just _weird_ hearing someone else talk about Eric like he was some kind of celebrity. Jinhwan wasn’t sure why he was surprised though. Eric was something of a celebrity, at least in the Korean fighting world. It was just odd because Jinhwan knew him on a personal level.  
  
“No wonder you’re so good!” Junhoe said. “Man, I’m jealous! Why did you leave if you had him training you?” Junhoe asked, legitimately curious. Eric was easily one of the top five fighters in Korea. How could Jinhwan give up training under him?  
  
Jinhwan shrugged, unsure as to how he ought to respond. “I uh, just needed to get off the island,” true enough, of course, “and my trumpet instructor wanted me to come here for music anyway.” Kind of a lie, but believable.  
  
“Ah, I see. That’s unfortunate though! I still can’t believe you actually trained with him! That’s amazing.” Junhoe was floored. _Eric Kwon…_ He hoped he’d be here. Maybe Jinhwan could introduce him? Junhoe didn’t want to look like some kind of lame fan boy or anything, but he’d been watching Eric’s fights for years now. Eric had competed in international competitions, always faring well. It would be amazing to train with him.  
  
“He’s just a regular guy, Junhoe-ya. But if he’s here I’ll introduce you.” Jinhwan really hoped Junhoe wouldn’t want to keep talking about him. Luckily he didn’t, and soon enough they were discussing music. Hanbin and Bobby were talking about their favourite tracks from Swings’ newest mixtape “Levitate”. Jinhwan wasn’t surprised, it was all Bobby had been listening to for the past two days since it had dropped. After twenty minutes it was time for Junhoe to head down and prepare for his first match, and Jinhwan went with him.  
  
Hanbin and Bobby bid Junhoe good luck, opting to remain where they were sitting high up in the stands, and Jinhwan was certain they were just desperate for a little time alone together. It was fine, though, probably better if they stayed where they were. Jinhwan had enough on his mind already.  
  
Junhoe was the first one to spot Eric, stopping and looking back at Jinhwan. “He is here!” Junhoe looked back at the bottom of the stands. “Is that the guy I’m fighting?” Junhoe asked, watching the guy who stood next to Eric.  
  
“Yeah, that’s Soohyun.” _Shit._ What was he supposed to do now? Junhoe was fighting Eric’s trainee, there was no way Jinhwan could avoid him. His anger from earlier had abated with the help of his friends, thankfully, but he still didn’t feel ready for the meeting. He was going to have to acknowledge him, though. Junhoe wanted an introduction, after all. Could he handle it without being weird?  
  
“Fuck, I can’t believe I’m actually fighting in front of him.” Junhoe couldn’t stop himself from making the comment, too surprised to filter out any stupid fan boy comments.  
  
“Don’t be nervous,” Jinhwan replied, focusing his attention on Junhoe, “think of it this way—you need to kick Soohyun’s ass if you want to make a good impression, right?” Okay, he definitely had to make sure that Junhoe didn’t flop from nerves. The last thing he wanted was for Eric to see him being friendly with a nervous flop. He needed Junhoe to look impressive. Needed Eric to respect him. Needed Eric to worry that his precious little _genius_ might not even make it to the final, not if he had to go through Junhoe.  
  
“I’m good, I can do this. I was just surprised to see him.” Junhoe took a deep breath, calming himself down. He was grateful that Jinhwan was here, lucky that Jinhwan actually knew Eric so he wasn’t freaking out over him. Jinhwan didn’t seem affected at all that he was even here. It was good. Junhoe needed to leech off of that lack of celebrity intimidation.  
  
“Come on, let’s get you ready. You’ve got this, I know you do. Like I told you, just watch your back and don’t let him get you in a submission and you’ll be good. You’ve got better attacking skills, so get points on him. Soohyun looks for submissions, not points, so just outlast him, which I know you can do. If you do try for a submission, go for his knees, they’re his weakest points.” All of Jinhwan’s training memories of Soohyun were coming out now, and he was desperate to fill Junhoe’s head with them.  
  
“Thanks, hyung!” Junhoe replied, eating up every word Jinhwan told him. He wondered why he was so desperate to help? Was there bad blood between Jinhwan and Soohyun? Or did Jinhwan just legitimately want him to win? Whatever it was, Junhoe considered himself lucky for it. It always helped to know your opponent.  
  
Jinhwan took a seat with Junhoe’s club mates, who looked a little confused to see him. Jinhwan didn’t say anything to them, though, watching as Junhoe walked out to meet Soohyun. His eyes continued to settle on Eric, watching him while he watched Soohyun. Jinhwan couldn’t help himself from feeling annoyed. Eric must have seen him by now? Hadn’t he noticed him standing by Junhoe? Why hadn’t he tried to make eye contact with him yet? Why hadn’t he texted him, said hello and confirmed they were still going to meet up later? The more Jinhwan thought about it, the more aggravated he felt.  
  
Junhoe had better win his match. Jinhwan _needed_ his victory, just for his own peace of mind. Eric wouldn’t have a choice but to acknowledge him, either at the end of the match or when Jinhwan went over to formally introduce them. He wanted to introduce Junhoe after Eric was forced to watch him beat Soohyun. Wanted to rub the victory in Eric’s face and make him regret his words earlier.  
  
Suddenly Jinhwan realized that Jimin would probably be sitting by Eric to watch this match. He couldn’t be fighting right now (otherwise Jinhwan was sure that Eric would be with him, watching over his stupid little _genius)_ so Jinhwan scanned the fighters settled around Eric.  
  
He recognized Song Changwook (a fighter who was a year younger than Jinhwan, and who must have just only been promoted to purple belt) and Seo Insung (a brown belt three years Jinhwan’s senior) but there was one fighter he didn’t know, a purple belt with messy brown hair and chubby cheeks. Was that Park Jimin? Was that Jinhwan’s newest enemy?  
  
He was so focused on the new face that he missed the start of the match. He gave his head a shake and focused his sights on Junhoe, watching him closely, judging his technique against Soohyun’s. Junhoe was a little taller and had a longer arm reach. Soohyun, for his part, looked respectful of Junhoe’s size, and they circled one another, trying to feel each other out.  
  
Junhoe attacked first, gaining a takedown and powering his way into the guard position. Jinhwan nodded, pleased with the first act. Junhoe was listening to his advice. As the first round went on, Jinhwan felt like this was already a different side of Junhoe than he’d seen at the last tournament. He fought more intelligently, instead of simply powering his way through an opponent with the expectation of victory. Jinhwan liked what he was seeing.  
  
The first round of the match was a technical affair, both fighters looking good but Junhoe was ahead on points at the end. Jinhwan was content with the round, Junhoe had obviously heeded every bit of his advice. He was confident in Junhoe’s ability to finish.  
  
The second round went in a similar direction, and Jinhwan tried to keep his focus on Junhoe, but his eyes kept sliding to Eric, drawn to him instinctively. With only a minute left in the second round (and Junhoe still ahead on points, but the gap had closed a bit) Soohyun managed to attain guard position on Junhoe, ankles crossed against Junhoe’s back.  
  
Jinhwan leaned forward in his seat, biting his tongue to keep from yelling encouragements. Junhoe was his friend but not his teammate. It already looked weird for him to be sitting with Junhoe’s team for his fight. It would look really suspect if he started giving instruction.  
  
But Junhoe remembered Jinhwan’s advice and he took his time to think about his best option. He drove his elbows down against Soohyun’s thighs, loosening his legs up so his ankles uncrossed, breaking the lock around his back. He knew he’d have to be careful in his movements, knew he’d have to anticipate and think about how to escape if things went the wrong way.  
  
He wanted to go for a kneebar on Soohyun, but he remembered Jinhwan’s warning that Soohyun was particularly dangerous when he went for the back. In order to get the knee bar, Junhoe would be showing his back. Necessary evil, unless he went for something different? But time was running out, and even though Junhoe knew he was up on points, it wasn’t by much. He wanted an impressive win, not a safe win.  
  
So fuck being safe. He was fighting right in front of Eric Kwon—he wanted to be noticed.  
  
He dug his elbows in again and quickly pushed off with his left foot, swinging up and over Soohyun’s leg, hooking his arm around the calf. He quickly twisted onto his side on the floor, grabbing Soohyun’s ankle with his other hand and arching his hips forward, applying pressure onto Soohyun’s knee.  
  
He felt fingers gripping the back of his gi, an attempt by Soohyun to get leverage and break out of it, but it didn’t last long and seconds later he heard the tapping sound of Soohyun’s hand on the mat, followed by the official’s call for him to drop the hold. He did, rolling off of Soohyun and pumping his fists in excitement, pleased with his performance.  
  
He sought out Jinhwan first, huge smile directed at him and he bowed in his direction, grateful for every bit of advice Jinhwan had given him. Soohyun had been a difficult opponent, and if Junhoe hadn’t known what Jinhwan had told him, every opportunity existed that he might have gotten himself into a very bad situation very quickly. Instead he’d followed a different approach, using his intelligence to anticipate the moves, managing to stay ahead of a difficult opponent the entire time. He felt proud of himself for the victory, prouder than he usually felt.  
  
He turned around after bowing to his coach, seeking out his opponent. Soohyun had just risen from the mat, shaking his knee out. They bowed to each other and clasped hands after, sharing compliments on the fight. Junhoe completely forgot about Jinhwan’s teasing comments about Soo-sshi, too happy with his own performance to even want to tease him.  
  
They quickly moved off the mat and Junhoe met his coach, who was standing now with Eric, both of them having what looked like a friendly conversation. Before Junhoe had a chance to say anything Jinhwan was there, grabbing his hand and pulling him in for a hug.  
  
“Congrats, Junhoe-ya! You looked great!” Jinhwan meant it. The difference in technique and approach had worked against Soohyun, and he was happy that he’d been able to help. It felt good to be a positive influence on him.  
  
“Thanks, hyung! I’m really happy with how it turned out.” Junhoe hugged him back, arms tight around Jinhwan’s back. He couldn’t keep the smile off of his face.  
  
They were interrupted, though.  
  
“Kim Jinhwan! I should have known.”  
  
Despite being angry and annoyed and bitter only minutes ago, the sound of Eric’s voice saying his name had Jinhwan suddenly smiling, the expression emerging all on its own. He reluctantly let go of Junhoe, turning to face Eric.  
  
God, he’d missed him.  
  
“Come here!” Eric beckoned him forward with outstretched arms and Jinhwan couldn’t stop himself from bounding forward and hugging him, eyes closed briefly when Eric’s arms circled around him tightly. The hug didn’t last long, and Jinhwan reached back for Junhoe, finding his hand and pulling him forward.  
  
“Hyung, this is my good friend Koo Junhoe! He’s a big fan of yours.” Jinhwan kept his promise of an introduction, grinning when Junhoe awkwardly bowed.  
  
Eric watched them both with a smile. “Ah, I figured he must be a friend, since I see you’re not with the same club?” He winked at Jinhwan before focusing on Junhoe. “Impressive fight! You both did really well, that was a great opening match. I hope you’re proud of your performance.”  
  
Junhoe’s heart felt like it was at risk of combustion. “Ah, thank you!” He replied, flustered now that the match was over. He kept telling himself that he had no reason to be so nervous in front of this guy! Eric Kwon was a regular person, just like anyone else. It was just the adrenaline that had him flustered, too much excitement and nowhere to expend it now that the match was done.  
  
Jinhwan smiled as he watched Junhoe address Eric. Okay, despite everything he was feeling, all the confusion and skipping around between opposing emotions, it was sweet to see Junhoe so excited over meeting Eric—and it was equally good to see Eric be so nice to him, complimenting him honestly even though Junhoe had just beaten his fighter. Jinhwan turned away from them, wanting to give Junhoe a moment to himself with Eric.  
  
Instead Jinhwan sought out Soohyun.  
  
“Hey, Soo-sshi! Sorry about the outcome, but it was a good fight!” Jinhwan grinned at Soohyun’s annoyed expression.  
  
“Jinhwan-sshi, disrespectful as usual!” Soohyun grumbled back at him.  
  
“Ah, _hyung,_ don’t be a sore loser!” Jinhwan teased, grinning when Soohyun glared at him.  
  
“Did you tell your friend all about me or something?” Soohyun asked, because despite not being familiar with him, Soohyun had noticed that Junhoe had seemed to anticipate everything he’d tried to do. That sort of knowledge could only come from inside information.  
  
“Of course I did! What’s the point in making friends if you don’t use them, right?” Jinhwan replied, grinning when Soohyun rolled his eyes. They parted ways soon after that, but not before Eric pulled Jinhwan in for another hug and whispered to him that they’d meet up after the day was over. Jinhwan readily agreed to it, and when he left Eric’s side he almost couldn’t believe the shift in emotion. He’d gone from blazing anger to content pleasure far too quickly. He wasn’t that easy, was he? Nothing more than simple _attention_ could fix things? He was almost embarrassed for himself. He felt like some stupid kid with a crush, overlooking every shitty thing that person could possibly do just because they smiled in your direction. If _hello_ and a smile could discard the anger, Jinhwan felt like he was potentially going to be in trouble later.  
  
Maybe. Maybe not. The day was still young, and he still had to watch Jimin fight. Would Eric hug him after the match? Celebrate affectionately with him?  
  
The irritation was already flaring up again.  
  
“Hey, Jinan hyung, I just wanted to say thanks.”  
  
Jinhwan stopped in his tracks at Junhoe’s comment, a little surprised to hear it.  
  
Junhoe stood in front of him, a little nervous but still happy. “Honestly, I uh, don’t know if I would have beaten him without your help. I probably would have walked right into a submission.”  
  
Jinhwan smiled at the comment, pleased to hear it. Junhoe hadn’t really struck him as the type who liked to admit when he needed help, and the fact that he was doing it now, given their short time as friends (and short time as rivals before that) had Jinhwan feeling even more surprised, but overall grateful. It felt good to help others, and he reached out suddenly to take Junhoe’s hand.  
  
“You’re welcome! You know I could really see the difference in your approach this time. Last time I watched you fight, you didn’t really think as much as you did this time. I feel like you went into every fight with the expectation of winning, and you just reacted on the spot as the match went on. But this time you really thought about everything, you calculated every move you made. You looked really good, it was impressive.” Junhoe shook his head and Jinhwan grinned when he saw the faint blush that spread over his cheeks. “I mean it! I was really impressed.”  
  
Junhoe’s face went a little red at Jinhwan’s reply, and he hoped he wouldn’t get teased for it. “Thanks, hyung. I feel better about this victory because of that. I mean, you’re right. I thought way more about everything in this fight. I took my time and weighed the pros and cons of every move. I usually don’t fight like that.”  
  
“Well you can’t always fight like that, really only works when you know stuff about your opponent. Thanks for listening to all my advice.” Jinhwan wanted to tease him for blushing, but he kept it to himself. He felt like they were having a really important moment right now, and he remembered his comment to Bobby earlier. Junhoe was much more sensitive a person than he was. He had to be careful about when he teased him.  
  
“Yeah, I just wanted you to know that I appreciate it. And uh, thanks for introducing me to Eric. I can’t believe I met him and beat one of his guys! And then he complimented me! I beat his guy and he complimented me.”  
  
Jinhwan grinned and felt grateful to Eric for being so nice to Junhoe. “Yeah, he’s a really great guy, he always appreciates talent when he sees it. Anyway, let’s get you back to the lovebirds! You three can all be up on cloud nine together!” Jinhwan teased, and he was a little surprised but also pleased when Junhoe put his arm around his shoulders. They walked back to Hanbin and Bobby in the best of spirits.  
  
Whatever happened with Eric would happen. Jinhwan was pretty sure he’d come out of it all unscathed as long as he stuck with his friends. His feelings were still confused, anger over Eric’s comments and the thought of being replaced was at war with the soothing happiness of just seeing him again. The pleasure of one simple little hug had him floating.  
  
Whatever. Just because he was happy to see Eric, it didn’t mean anything. They’d had a weird end to their relationship, and Jinhwan probably just hadn’t gotten proper closure. Maybe that was all he needed. They’d split and intended to stay close, but Jinhwan had hidden from him instead. Maybe all he needed to do was stop hiding.  
  
He had other people in his life. He didn’t need Eric anymore.


	17. Scouting the Genius

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jinhwan is a little preoccupied with figuring out exactly how much of a threat Park Jimin is.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this one's a bit short—I've actually had a few terrible weeks at work lately and almost didn't end up getting this chapter done, but it came out in the end. I haven't been able to cover every scene from this tournament that I expected to originally (and the next chapter will have the main course;) and I know it might just give you more questions than answers right now.
> 
> But be patient! The real JunHwan's on the way, I promise. I just have to get through this tournament. ;)

Jinhwan looked down at the floor and watched as the competitors for the next match prepared; his eyes were glued to one in particular. He wanted to go down closer to watch, but he didn’t want to make it seem obvious that he cared. Maybe he could use Junhoe as a cover? He wanted to watch it over with a critical eye, wanted to see if this guy was really worthy of that _genius_ title. Maybe it was a joke, and he was obsessing over nothing.   
  
“Hey, Junhoe?” Jinhwan turned his head to look his way. “Wanna come down and watch this match a little closer with me? This is the guy you might fight when you win your group. He trains with Eric but he must have come after I left, because I don’t know him at all.” He tried to sound as nonchalant as possible, tried not to make it seem like he actually cared. He aimed for mild curiosity.   
  
Junhoe looked back at him, surprise etched into his expression. “Yeah, sure, that’s probably a good idea.” He hadn’t missed Jinhwan’s expectation of his victory, and it felt nice to hear it come from him.   
  
“You two can stay here if you want,” Jinhwan turned his attention to Bobby and Hanbin, “save our spots and all.”   
  
“Meaning: we better stay here!” Bobby replied, grinning back at his best friend.   
  
Jinhwan grinned back at him. “If you’re dying to come, I guess you can. It might be a boring match though. We’ve never seen him before, so we just want to get a closer look at him.”   
  
“That’s fine, I know when we’re not wanted,” Bobby replied, still teasing. He was actually more than happy to let the two of them go off on their own.   
  
“Yeah it’s okay, we don’t want to interfere with your date.” Hanbin teased, laughing when Junhoe glared at him.   
  
“Maybe we won’t bother coming back, you two are annoying.” Junhoe leaned over to flick Hanbin in the ear.   
  
Hanbin grabbed his hand and held on to it. “Is that a promise? Since you guys have each other now, does that mean Bobby and I are free from jiu jitsu babysitting duty?” Junhoe didn’t reply, he just wrenched his hand out of Hanbin’s grip and flicked him again.   
  
“You’ll never be free!” Junhoe teased, before standing up and following Jinhwan down to the lower level.   
  
Hanbin watched them go before speaking. “I hope you’re saving up for that dinner, hyung.”   
  
Bobby shook his head and tightened his arms around Hanbin. “I hope you like McDonald’s.”   
  
“I demand a high class place! I’m a high class kinda guy.” Hanbin teased, twisting around to look up at him.   
  
“I’m gonna sabotage them, just wait.” Bobby replied, laughing when Hanbin frowned.   
  
“No, don’t you dare! They deserve each other.”   
  
“Do you mean that as a compliment or an insult?” Bobby asked with a laugh.   
  
“A little bit of both?” Hanbin answered, turning around and settling back against Bobby’s chest. The day was going well, so far. He got to be cuddly with Bobby, and Junhoe and Jinhwan seemed to be getting along very well. He took his phone out, typing an update text to Donghyuk, who wasn’t able to come due to a tutoring session his parents had booked for him (not that he needed it, but they wouldn’t let him out of it).   
  
_‘op: hook up is going good!! they dont fight til tomorrow and are being friendly now! ill update you if anything happens’_   
  
He waited for Donghyuk’s response (which consisted of heart and thumbs ups emojis) before slipping his phone back in his pocket. He curled his fingers around Bobby’s forearm and smiled when he felt Bobby press a kiss to the top of his head. He wondered what sort of a couple Junhoe and Jinhwan would be if they got together? Junhoe would probably be weird about public displays of affection, but Jinhwan seemed like the type who enjoyed it. Who would cave for who?   
  
“When they eventually get together, and they will, who do you think is going to end up being the romantic one?” Hanbin asked Bobby.   
  
“It would have to be Jinhwan, right? I can’t imagine Junhoe having a romantic side? You’re his best friend, you’d know if he even has one at all.” Bobby replied, amused at the idea. While Jinhwan enjoyed romantic movies, he wasn’t really certain if he could see him actually being romantic with a partner? It was a weird idea to contemplate.   
  
“This might seem weird to you, but Junhoe’s favourite types of movies are romantic dramas.” It still surprised Hanbin sometimes.   
  
“Seriously?” Bobby couldn’t help but laugh, having a hard time picturing it. “Actually, it’s the same for Jinhwan.”   
  
Hanbin squeezed Bobby’s arm. “See! They are a perfect match!” Hanbin laughed, trying to picture them watching a drama together. “Does Jinan cry when he watches them?”   
  
“I don’t know, does Junhoe?”   
  
“I refuse to say!” Hanbin replied, laughing when Bobby leaned his chin on top of his head.   
  
“I honestly can’t imagine Junhoe being romantic at all, but to tell you the truth, I actually wasn’t before I met you either.”   
  
Hanbin snorted at the comment. “You’re romantic now?” He twisted to look at him again, grinning when Bobby pouted at him.   
  
“I just mean that, well, I never would have even done _this_ before,” Bobby replied, “I was pretty hands off with guys I dated. Getting me to do anything in public was like pulling teeth.”   
  
Hanbin looked at him in surprise for a moment before smiling softly at him. “So, what you’re saying is that you caved to me?”   
  
Bobby smiled back at him. “Don’t tell anyone, but yeah, I guess I kind of did.”   
  
Hanbin settled back against Bobby again, a content smile on his face that only got wider when Bobby’s arms tightened around him. Knowing that Bobby had softened his public persona around him made Hanbin feel even more affection for him. He was glad the other two weren’t here to see his face right now, because he probably looked like a total dork. That was fine, though. It was nice to know that Bobby liked him so much that he was willing to change how he normally acted, just because Hanbin liked being affectionate.   


* * *

  
Jinhwan had picked seats two rows up from the floor, happy for the convenient excuse of Junhoe. He’d tried to sit as far out of Eric’s line of sight as possible, not exactly keen on being seen. He didn’t know why he was so concerned anyway. It was perfectly normal to be curious about new opponents. It would be stupid of him _not_ to watch Jimin. He didn’t have to sneak around.   
  
Jimin was going to be fighting a guy that Jinhwan recognized. They’d moved up through the belt ranks at the same speed, but he hadn’t fought the guy since they were greens. It would be interesting to see how the match went.   
  
“So why are you really so interested in this guy anyway? What makes him special?” Junhoe asked once they were seated, curious because as much as he appreciated Jinhwan’s help earlier, he wasn’t exactly sure that he believed that Jinhwan was here just to help him further.   
  
“Just curious about him. I’ve actually never heard his name before, and the fact that he’s here must mean that he’s good.” No point in telling Junhoe that he’d overheard the conversation.   
  
“I wonder why we’ve never heard of him? Think he moved recently?”   
  
“Probably. That would make sense. If he just got promoted from blue, I’m sure you’d recognize him at least.” Jinhwan explained, and he wondered then where Jimin had moved from. Somewhere out of the country, obviously.   
  
“When did you get promoted to purple, anyway?” Junhoe was surprised that he hadn’t asked until now. But it was a little weird that he hadn’t known who Jinhwan was until their first meeting. Surely they should have met at blue belt at some point?   
  
“It’ll be two years in November,” Jinhwan answered, and he couldn’t help but laugh at the look of surprise on Junhoe’s face. “What? Why are you surprised?”   
  
Junhoe shook his head, a little embarrassed to be called out. “Sorry, I just didn’t realize you’d been purple for so long, but it makes sense I guess. I was just wondering why we hadn’t fought at blue belt, but I guess that answers my question.”   
  
“Why, when did you get your purple?” Jinhwan asked, because Junhoe did have a point. They should have met before, shouldn’t they?   
  
“Just in June of this year.”   
  
Jinhwan smiled at his answer. “Ah, you’re a little baby purple, then! No wonder I kicked your ass.” Jinhwan couldn’t help but tease, and when Junhoe just grinned and laughed back at him he sidled up closer to him. “You fought very bravely though, you did good!”   
  
Junhoe grinned and shoved him away. “Oh shut up, hyung! I actually feel better about our fights, well, the second fight, anyway. I kinda made it easy for you in our first fight.” Junhoe did feel surprisingly better knowing that Jinhwan had been at purple almost a year and a half longer than him.   
  
“Yeah you kicked your own ass in the first fight.” Jinhwan agreed, smiling now when he thought back on it. “You definitely fought smarter in the second match, but my vast experience countered your youthful exuberance.” Jinhwan grinned when Junhoe rolled his eyes at his remark.   
  
“If you keep talking like that, I’m gonna go sit with Hanbin and Bobby again.” They both laughed at his comment. “So, hyung, you must be close to going for your brown belt then, huh?” Not that there was a strict timeline of belt advancement in the sport, but Jinhwan had been a purple for long enough to be granted the opportunity to advance.   
  
Jinhwan nodded. “Youngbae, my trainer, said he was going to gauge my performance at this tournament to see whether or not he’d approve me to start prepping for the test. I want to, but you know, between that and my trumper testing, and just school in general… I don’t like thinking about it. Like I’m confident, and I’m sure I’ll do well, but it’s kind of nice to have a reputation built up? Like I know when guys come here and they see my name, a lot of them know who I am. When I go up to brown, I’m going to be back down at the bottom again. Not sure if my confidence can take that right now.” Jinhwan grinned and was almost surprised to hear himself say it all out loud.   
  
“I get that,” Junhoe replied, “I was so nervous for my first fight at purple. Thankfully I’ve done well so far, honestly better than I expected to. But then I fought you, and my pride took a massive hit. I guess when I think about it, losing to you was probably a good thing? Reminded me not to be cocky.” Junhoe felt weird saying it around Jinhwan, because he didn’t often admit to this sort of thing. It was hard enough to say it to Hanbin. It was probably different with Jinhwan because he understood it better. Sure, Hanbin had his boxing, but that was different.   
  
Jinhwan smiled when he heard the admission from Junhoe. “Yeah, well, you didn’t hear this from me, but that second fight made me remember not to be cocky too. I didn’t take you seriously, and you did really well. You’ve improved from then already, so I think you’re on the right path.”   
  
“Thanks, hyung.” Junhoe was a little surprised to hear the praise, but it was nice. Felt good to hear it from someone who’d been his rival a month ago.   
  
Jinhwan turned his attention back to the competitors, who were just now shaking hands. “Oh, match is about to start! I’m interested to see Jimin’s opponent too, Yungmin? I haven’t fought him since we were both green belts! It’s always interesting to keep tabs on guys you came up with.”   
  
“Hoping that he won’t be as good as you?” Junhoe teased, and Jinhwan laughed.   
  
“Ah, you know me so well already!” They didn’t talk after the comment, watching in silence as the fighters took their spots and waited for the cue to start.   
  
Jinhwan couldn’t help but look for similarities between himself and Jimin. Of course they were both short, averaging smaller than the other competitors. Jimin didn’t come across as intense as Jinhwan thought he did, though, instead opting to smile while he waited to begin the fight. Jinhwan tried not to be irritated by it, but he couldn’t help but feel annoyed.   
  
When they finally began with each other it was Jimin who went for a takedown first, but Yungmin managed to reverse him on the mat and attain a guard position from the back. Jimin fought patiently, though, building opportunities out of Yungmin’s errors. Twice he managed to convert Yungmin’s attempts at submissions into different holds for himself, and Jinhwan hated to admit it, but Jimin did fight very intelligently.   
  
His style _screamed_ Eric, something that Jinhwan picked up on easily. They had that much in common already. Jimin was a better fighter than Jinhwan had been hoping he’d be, and he could see why maybe he’d begun getting a bit of a reputation.   
  
Junhoe watched him with interest as well, concerned already when he saw how quick Jimin was to reverse moves and slip out of holds. It reminded him a lot of fighting Jinhwan, actually. When the first round ended Junhoe looked at him and shook his head.   
  
“He reminds me of you,” Junhoe said, “you guys fight the same.”   
  
Jinhwan frowned, because that was the last thing he wanted to hear, even though he could see it himself. “You think so?” He asked, feeling sulky as he watched Jimin get a brief shoulder rub from Eric.   
  
“Yeah, you’re both good at getting out of positions.” Junhoe wasn’t aware of Jinhwan’s behaviour towards the comparison, his eyes also on Jimin and Eric.   
  
“Think he’s as good as me?” Jinhwan asked, trying not to sound as bothered as he felt.   
  
“Hard to say, cause it’s only been one round,” Junhoe answered honestly, “but I think you’re more dominant? He didn’t dominate Yungmin as much this round. I mean okay he got more points and he’s obviously a better fighter, but he didn’t push as hard as you did, I don’t think?”   
  
Jinhwan felt a little placated at Junhoe’s observations. Okay, sure it was a little petty, but hearing that Junhoe thought he’d fought better made him feel better. “Thanks, Junhoe-ya!”   
  
“Like, you didn’t hear this from me, but you’re a little intimidating on the mat, even though you are small,” Junhoe grinned when Jinhwan grumbled at him, “but this guy’s not intimidating at all. Looks like the kind of guy who’d offer to do your homework just so you quit teasing him.”   
  
Jinhwan laughed at Junhoe’s description. It was oddly accurate. “You’ve got a good way with words.”   
  
“You say that like it’s the only thing I have!” Junhoe replied, pretending offense.   
  
“Well, I mean, you do have your looks, but apart from that not much else, right?” Junhoe laughed at his comment, and Jinhwan was left feeling weirdly content. He never would have expected that he and Junhoe would fall into such easy conversation so quickly, but maybe Junhoe just wanted another friend more than any of them realized? Whatever it was, Jinhwan was happy for it. As much as he liked having Bobby come to his matches, it was nice to have someone else who truly understood the sport to pass the time with.   
  
They watched the second round, critical eyes taking in everything as Jimin finished off Yungmin with a guillotine choke. Jinhwan was impressed, but not as impressed as he’d anticipated being. Jimin was good, for sure. Maybe even great.   
  
But _genius?_   
  
Definitely not.   


* * *

  
“I thought you said Seiyeon was supposed to come today?”   
  
Jinhwan looked back at Bobby, surprised it had taken him this long to ask. “Yeah, she was supposed to make it for today but something came up. She’s coming tomorrow, though! Booked her flight already.”   
  
“Sorry she couldn’t make it, it would have been a good day for her!” Bobby replied, “you dominated all of your matches today. Almost like you were trying to impress someone.” Bobby teased him, and Jinhwan shoved him into the wall.   
  
“Yeah, well, listen speaking of that, I kinda need you to make yourself scarce for a bit.”   
  
Bobby looked at him with suspicious eyes. “Oh? What for?”   
  
Jinhwan just smiled back at him. “Very personal conversation that I need to have,” he replied secretively, “I’m sure you won’t mind spending more time with Hanbin, right?”   
  
“Ah, I don’t know, Jinan, I’ve been with him all day, kinda need a break?”   
  
“Excuse me, I can hear you!” Hanbin spoke up from his seat on the ground next to Junhoe.   
  
“See what I mean? It’s like a little puppy that won’t get out from under my feet.” Bobby teased, moving out of the way as Hanbin tried to kick him.   
  
“I hope he bites your ankles!” Jinhwan replied, laughing when Hanbin crawled over to Bobby, branding his teeth and snapping at Bobby’s legs. They all laughed and Hanbin stuck his tongue out, panting at Bobby.   
  
“Okay, I’m sorry! Go sit over there and be a good boy!” Bobby played along, patting Hanbin’s head.   
  
Jinhwan couldn’t resist making a jab. “Wow, didn’t expect you guys to be this kinky!”   
  
Bobby groaned and frowned at him. “Why do you always have to ruin everything?”   
  
Jinhwan grinned and winked at him before looking at Hanbin. “What are you guys planning for the night anyway? We didn’t really talk about what we were going to do.”   
  
“We’re meeting up with Donghyuk at a ramen place in Hongdae. We’ll bring Bobby with us, I guess, if we have to.” Hanbin grinned and looked up at his boyfriend, smiling sweetly at him before looking back at Jinhwan. “How long are you going to be? You wanna come join after?”   
  
Jinhwan didn’t want to commit for sure, because he didn’t know how long he’d be. “I’ll call you guys when I’m done and see where you are. Be good to your hyung!” He teased them all before heading back into the building, looking for Eric.   
  
There was the pressing matter of California to talk about, but Jinhwan was sure something more would come up. He carried his duffel bag with him into the bathroom, changing out of his gi and back into jeans and a t-shirt. He hadn’t bothered to bring anything especially nice, and he was glad for it now. Dressing up would have just made him feel awkward.   
  
He pulled his phone out, reading a new message.   
  
_‘Just having a team debrief, be ready for you in fifteen?’_   
  
He’d sent it almost ten minutes ago now, so that only gave Jinhwan maybe five minutes to prepare himself. He sat down in the hall, his back to a row of lockers as he waited.   
  
The day had been a weird seesaw of back and forth, emotional highs and lows. While he’d told himself that this talk needed to focus on information about moving to the US eventually, he’d be fooling himself if he wasn’t preparing to talk about things he wasn’t sure he was ready to talk about. Eric had always had a way of making him talk, figuring out how to weasel information out of him no matter how deeply buried it was.   
  
Did he want to talk about personal things? Would it be a good idea?   
  
No. Best not to open that can of worms. He hadn’t been honest with Eric at the time, there was no point in being honest now. Nothing good would come of it. Best to move on and stay moved on.   
  
Provided he could, of course, and based on today’s flip flop feelings? He wasn’t sure if it would be possible for him. Maybe this whole thing was a mistake. Could he cancel? Come up with some reason why he had to postpone their talk? He just wasn’t ready, not for one-on-one. Why hadn’t he asked Youngbae to stay with him? That would have made sense, right? Not that he’d ever trained in the US, but he was experienced in the sport, older than Eric, maybe he’d have different insights?   
  
But just as Jinhwan had his phone out, ready to write an apology over text message, there were voices at the end of the hall. He looked up and felt his heart leap up into his throat.   
  
“Alright guys, head back to the hotel and shower up, get some food. I’ll be back later and we’ll go out for a bit, alright? Insung, if anyone gets into shit before I get back, your ass is on the line.”   
  
Jinhwan watched as Eric gave a final chat to his fighters, remembering when he’d been a part of that group at one point in time.   
  
“Ah, hyung, how long will you be? Should we wait until you’re back to get food? I feel weird eating without you!”   
  
Jinhwan’s eyes narrowed at the voice, unable to stop the knee jerk emotional reaction.   
  
“Ah, Jimin-ie! Just get food, you’ll be fine!” Eric laughed.   
  
“Hyung, you should be taking us out for dinner, you know! It’s not right, going off and leaving us to fend for ourselves.”   
  
Jinhwan watched it all with a growing sense of irritation. God, how could Eric stand him? How old was this kid? Why was he so clingy?   
  
“I’m your trainer, Jimin, not your babysitter! Go cling to Insung, he loves it.” Eric playfully pushed him away.   
  
“The fuck he will!” Insung grinned and pushed Jimin towards Changwook, who finally welcomed him with open arms.   
  
“Ah, Jimin hyung, we’ll be fine! Think of it this way, if hyung comes with us, he’ll be picky about what we eat! This way we can have whatever we want!”   
  
“You take pictures of your dinner and send them to me!” Eric teased them. “No one eat until I text you back with the all clear.” With that he waited for them to leave, and Jinhwan watched as Jimin turned around to wave pathetically to Eric. Jinhwan was annoyed when Eric waved back, couldn’t believe he was playing into such childish behaviour. It was embarrassing, and it just made him dislike Jimin even more.   
  
But then Eric finally turned around, and Jinhwan couldn’t even bring himself to get up as he walked closer.   
  
_Focus on California. That’s the only thing you need to talk about. Just talk about California. Talk about your upcoming test for brown belt. Talk about jiu jitsu. Don’t talk about anything else._   
  
“Hey, kiddo! Wanna go grab some food?”   
  
Jinhwan smiled back and nodded, stuck his hand up and waited for Eric to come over and take it, waited to be pulled up from the floor.   
  
_He was fucked._


	18. Flying Bow and Arrow Choke

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jinhwan's victories aren't only on the mat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And with this chapter the story breaks the 100,000 word mark! So I just wanted to take a moment to thank everyone who's stuck with the story from the beginning, and everyone new who shows up and leaves a comment! Your comments all mean a lot to me, thank you everyone. ♥♥♥ There's still a lot left to tell, but I never expected the story to be this long when I started it, so I'm feeling a little emotional about it today. ♥
> 
> For this chapter—it's a Jinhwan chapter. The others are there for bits but it's mostly just him. There will be more of everyone else next chapter, I just had a lot to cover with him at the moment. :)

_'i'm heeeere!! just parking now, where are you?'_  
  
_'im coming!!!!!'_  
  
Jinhwan jumped up from his seat in excitement. “Seiyeon's here finally, I'm gonna go get her! Be back in a bit!”  
  
The other three watched as he ran down the steps, in a rush to go find his sister.  
  
“He seems excited,” Hanbin mentioned, amused at how quickly Jinhwan ran off to go and find her. He was the only one so far that had yet to meet Jinwhan's sister and he was curious to see what she would be like. Junhoe had liked her after meeting her, quick to compare her to Yejin.  
  
Bobby had been wondering if Jinhwan was going to explain the situation with his family to them, but after saying nothing about it, Bobby decided to tell them at least a bit himself. “I didn't really want to say anything because it's not my place to tell you guys this, but this is actually the first time Seiyeon's coming to watch him fight.”  
  
“The first time ever?” Hanbin asked, face dropping in shock.  
  
“Yeah, actually both Seiyeon and his mom have never really supported the whole jiu jitsu thing,” Bobby explained, and he hoped Jinhwan wouldn't be mad at him later, but he thought that they deserved to know.  
  
Junhoe thought back to their night together at the orchestra, suddenly making sense of Jinhwan's odd request. “I forgot to ask you about it, but when I met them, Jinhwan asked me not to say anything about jiu jitsu. Made me follow some story about being friends from school. I never got around to asking him why, but this makes sense.”  
  
Bobby frowned at the comment. _Typical Jinhwan,_ he thought to himself in disappointment, _asking for a favour but not giving the full explanation_. “Yeah, I don't know the whole story, because he's never told me even though I keep asking, but his mom has always ignored everything to do with the sport ever since he started. He used to try to get her interested, but she never budged, so he just gave up. Seiyeon never wanted to hear about it either, but I guess she changed her mind recently. That's why he didn't want you to bring it up.” Bobby told Junhoe.  
  
“Are you serious?” Hanbin asked, still surprised and growing upset at the news. “That's bullshit, his mom should be supporting him!”  
  
“I know, I try to talk to him about it, but he brushes it off and tells me not to worry. But anyway, guys it's a huge deal that Seiyeon's finally coming. So can you make sure you're extra nice to her? I don't want her to feel weird about coming. I want her to enjoy herself and have a fun day, maybe she'll keep coming.” Bobby looked pleadingly between them.  
  
Junhoe felt conflicted, though, still thinking about that night. “His mom was so nice when I met her, though,” he said, “she was really welcoming. And he seemed so happy to be with her, he was excited the whole night.” Junhoe couldn't imagine his parents not supporting him to that degree in something he loved. How could you still smile and happily exist around someone who didn't support your passion?  
  
“That relationship's kinda weird,” Bobby said, “when it comes to music, his mom is honestly the most supportive person in the world and they're super close. He video calls his mom a lot so she can watch him play, he does it all the time when he's feeling frustrated. I know she loves him, she's very proud of his music, and I know he misses being away from home. I guess he just doesn't want to argue with her since he's away? If he doesn't bring it up, she can pretend it's not happening, and then he doesn't have to deal with her being upset about it. I wish I could get him to talk about it more, but he always clams up about it.”  
  
“That's garbage,” Hanbin replied, still angry about the situation, “I feel bad for him.”  
  
“He's okay,” Bobby answered, touched that Hanbin was so mad on Jinhwan's behalf, “he says he's over it, he doesn't care anymore.”  
  
“That's bullshit too,” Hanbin replied, “if he didn't care anymore then why's he so excited that Seiyeon is here?”  
  
“I know,” Bobby sighed and leaned his chin on Hanbin's shoulder, “but it's his issue, and we just have to let it go.”  
  
Junhoe didn't say much as he listened to them talk it over. He agreed with Hanbin, but he wasn't really the sort of person to get involved in someone else's life. Everyone made their own decisions, and Junhoe wanted no part of someone else's. He usually didn't put much thought into other people's problems, anyway. With the exception of Hanbin, Junhoe preferred to _not_ know much about other people. It was too much work caring about someone else. But still...  
  
“So please don't say anything to her about this, okay? Just be nice and make sure she has a fun day. I like Seiyeon a lot, I want her to keep coming, I think it's good for Jinan. So when she gets here just be nice, okay?” Bobby asked, hoping they'd both try and treat Seiyeon well despite knowing what they did.  
  
“Got it,” Hanbin replied with a grin, “I'll make sure I'm extra charming!”  
  
“Don't be, you might scare her off!” Junhoe teased, putting the information about Jinhwan's family out of his head. It was just easier to pretend he hadn't heard anything Bobby had said. It was Jinhwan's life, after all, it didn't affect him.  
  
“If you didn't manage to scare her away, I think I'll be fine.” Hanbin replied, and they descended into a round of traded barbs and insults as they waited.  
  
Jinhwan was outside standing on the front steps when he finally saw her. He almost couldn't believe she was here, willingly and of her own desire. It affected him more than he'd thought it would and he had to take a deep breath to try and keep his emotions in check as he watched her approach. He almost broke when she looked up at him and their eyes met—his sister looked near tears herself.  
  
“Jinan-ie,” Seiyeon greeted him, reaching hands out to cup his face, “look at you! Such a nice looking uniform, you look so good.” She kissed his cheek before pulling him into a hug and Jinhwan wrapped his arms tightly around her back, closing his eyes as he buried his face into her neck. _Get a hold of yourself, Jinhwan!_  
  
“Thanks for coming, noona,” he said, barely keeping himself together, and when Seiyeon seemed to want to pull out of their hug Jinhwan clung tighter, not ready to let her go yet. Seiyeon kissed his cheek again and waited until he was ready.  
  
“I'm sorry I didn't come yesterday,” Seiyeon started to explain, “I told you I'd explain in person but that can wait for later. When are you fighting?”  
  
“In about an hour,” he answered. After finishing the top in his group yesterday, this morning saw him fighting a semi-final and if he came out victorious he'd fight in the final in the afternoon.  
  
“Oh good, we have a bit of time then,” she said, smiling and grabbing his hand, “my flight was a little delayed so I was worried.”  
  
He held her hand tightly, elated that she was here but also mindful of why he'd come out to meet her without anyone else around. There was something they needed to discuss, something very important that he didn't want the others to overhear.  
  
“Before we go in, though, I need to talk to you.”  
  
“Should I be worried?” Seiyeon teased, and Jinhwan shook his head.  
  
“No, it's nothing to worry about, but you need to know.” He pulled her away from the steps, heading for a bench on the school's front lawn. No one was around and he wanted a degree of privacy for the conversation. “I know you might be a little upset with me for not telling you about this, but I didn't want you to worry--”  
  
Seiyeon cut him off, almost like she'd been anticipating his topic of conversation. “Is Eric here?” Her voice was a little harder, and Jinhwan could hear the difference in her tone.  
  
“He is.” He met her gaze for a moment, calm and collected as he gauged her reaction. “It's a national tournament, so he brought some of his students. I knew he was coming, but I didn't want you to stress about it. That's why I didn't tell you.”  
  
Seiyeon nodded, accepting the information thought she wasn't happy about it. “Have you talked to him?”  
  
Jinhwan nodded. “We had dinner last night.”  
  
“Dinner? Whose idea was that?” Seiyeon asked, clearly unhappy with the news.  
  
Jinhwan fought to stay calm, though he was tempted to brush off her concern and tell her to stop meddling in his business. But if he wanted her support, he knew he had to be mindful of her own feelings too—and while she knew part of what had happened between he and Eric, he'd kept a lot from her. He couldn't fault her for being upset. “It's not what you think, okay? It wasn't that kind of dinner--”  
  
“Jinhwan, I'm sorry, I'm trying to be calm about this but it just makes me really uncomfortable.”  
  
“I know, but I mean it, nothing happened--”  
  
“I certainly hope not!” Seiyeon replied, almost yelling. She lowered her voice after realizing how loud she'd responded. “You have to understand, Jinan, this whole situation-”  
  
“I know, okay? There's no need to discuss it.” He hoped she wasn't going to make him discuss it.  
  
She was, though. “I just don't like the idea of him taking you out for dinner. Not when he has a _wife_ back home.”  
  
Jinhwan bit the inside of his cheek to keep from snapping back at her. Yes, Eric was married, but it _wasn't real!_ But that wasn't Seiyeon's business. Some things had to stay private. Jinhwan knew the truth about everything, and that was enough. “Noona, I know it bothers you, but I mean it, the dinner was _not_ like that. We just needed to talk about things, okay?”  
  
“What sort of things? Relationship things?” Seiyeon snapped back, trying her best to remain calm but having a hard time of it.  
  
“No, jiu jitsu things!” Jinhwan replied, his voice raising higher than he'd meant it to. _Stay calm. Focus on the truth._ “We talked about me possibly going to California. I've been putting off talking to him about it, but this was a good opportunity to get questions answered that only he can answer for me.” He paused, taking in her expression. “Seiyeon, please don't be upset about this. You're here to support me, right?” He paused again, and her expression softened a little. “Well, he's a _big_ part of my support system, okay? Whether you like it or not. He's the reason why I'm so good, he's the reason why I want to keep fighting. Not because it's what he does but because I'm really good at it, and he trained me and believed in me and told me I could do it. For years, when no one else did.” He knew it was a huge risk, invoking her guilty conscience, but it was the truth, after all. All those years when Jinhwan could have used support from his sister, and she'd withheld it. Could she blame him for cherishing the support he'd gotten elsewhere?  
  
“I'm sorry.” She crossed her arms and looked away, blinking tears out of her eyes that made Jinhwan feel bad.  
  
It wasn't his fault, though. “Seiyeon, please don't cry about this, okay? I'm sorry to bring it up--”  
  
“No, you were right to,” she interrupted, wiping at her eyes, “you're right. I wanted nothing to do with this part of your life, so I can't be mad. It's just hard, because I just think about how upset you were when he broke up with you. I remember finding you crying in your room, it was heartbreaking and I've never forgiven him for hurting you.”  
  
Jinhwan took a deep breath, keeping himself together and focused. He really owed her a full explanation. “I lied to you about what happened,” he told her, his voice soft, “not about everything, I mean okay the reason we broke up is the truth, but how it happened was a lie. I was upset and hurt, but it was my own fault, not his. If I'd been honest with him and told him my feelings, it would have been different. But I didn't, and instead of telling him how hurt I was, I just kept it to myself. I lied to you because I wanted _someone_ to feel bad for me, and I didn't think about how you would feel. I'm sorry.”  
  
Seiyeon shook her head, sighing out loud and wiping her eyes again. “Jinan--”  
  
“I'm sorry, okay? I really am. I acted in a selfish way, and I didn't think about what it would do in the long run. I just wanted you to be upset for me in that moment. I should have told you the truth.”  
  
She didn't answer right away, and for a moment they were caught in silence, neither knowing what to say. Eventually Seiyeon broke the silence.  
  
“Just answer me one thing, Jinan.” Their eyes met again, and Seiyeon took his hand again. “Do you miss him?”  
  
Jinhwan didn't hesitate before answering. “Of course I miss him. All the time.” It was true, and after their talk last night he felt better about the whole thing. “But I realized something after we talked last night. I miss him, but I don't actually want to be _with him_ again. Does that make sense? Like I miss when we were together, but I wouldn't go back with him, if I could. Things are too different now, I don't think it would work. But I still miss him. I probably always will.”  
  
Seiyeon nodded, understanding written on her face. “Sounds like dad.”  
  
Jinhwan was surprised at the comparison, but it kind of made sense. There was one big exception, though. “It is like that, but Eric was good for me, at least. Not like dad.”  
  
Seiyeon took a deep breath and blew it out loudly, closing her eyes momentarily before looking back at him. “If you say so, then okay. I'll accept it, and I won't hold anything against him. I'll trust you. I guess it's just hard sometimes, to remember that you're growing up and you're not my baby anymore. You're almost an adult now. I have to trust that you know what's best for yourself. I'm sorry I haven't been doing that. I should have.”  
  
“Ah, noona, I probably don't always know what's best for me!” He joked, before leaning in to hug her. She laughed and hugged him back and Jinhwan felt like the entire world had been lifted off his shoulders. That had been the heaviest conversation they'd had in a long time and he'd managed to come out of it with exactly the response he'd wanted. He was grateful to his sister for listening to him and trusting him, and he knew that he had a lot of work ahead of him in order to prove that he'd earned that trust.  
  
“Ah, you're smart, Jinan-ie! But I'll still be here to call you on any stupid decisions you make.” She ruffled his hair and kissed his cheek and Jinhwan grinned back at her.  
  
“Good, I'll be counting on you! We should head inside now, though, the guys are probably wondering what's taking so long.”  
  
“Who's here with you? I thought you usually just came with Bobby?”  
  
“Usually, but I have a bigger group, now. Bobby, Hanbin, and Junhoe--”  
  
Seiyeon's eyes went wide at the last name. “Junhoe from the concert?”  
  
Jinhwan's expression dropped when he realized he'd never told her the truth about him. “Ah yeah, that Junhoe. Listen, um, about him...”  
  
Seiyeon's expression turned annoyed and she smacked his arm. “You little liar! Let me guess—he's not a school friend, is he?”  
  
Jinhwan couldn't help but grin in response to her irritated reaction. He didn't even have to say it out loud for Seiyeon to know when he was obviously lying to her. “No, he's not. We actually met last month at a tournament.”  
  
Seiyeon sighed loudly. “I can't believe you lied about that! Why wouldn't you tell me the truth?”  
  
“Because I thought mom would flip out if she knew he was a jiu jitsu friend!” Jinhwan replied, and he knew she'd understand that train of thought at least.  
  
Seiyeon nodded at the comment. “Well, I can't fault you for that. But still, you could have told me!”  
  
“I know, I'm sorry! It just slipped my mind. It's actually kind of a funny story. We fought each other and we both immediately hated each other. I was here with Bobby, and Junhoe was here with Hanbin, that's his best friend. To make a long story short, Bobby and Hanbin met each other when they were buying us drinks, and now they're dating.”  
  
Seiyeon laughed at the story. “Ah, teenage drama! And what about you and Junhoe?”  
  
“What about us?” Jinhwan asked.  
  
Seiyeon frowned at his answer. “Oh, is he straight?”  
  
Jinhwan grinned and shook his head. “No, he's gay too! But nothing is going on, okay? We've barely been friends for a few weeks, we're not dating.”  
  
Seiyeon grinned back and took up a teasing tone. “Well, he's _very_ attractive, so don't turn your back on that opportunity!”  
  
“Noona!” Jinhwan groaned. “Don't tease him, okay? He's actually very sensitive, so he might get upset if you tease him too much.”  
  
Seiyeon sighed again and shook her head. “Ah, forget what I said then. If he can't handle being teased then he'd probably be a terrible boyfriend for you!”  
  
Jinhwan laughed at her comment. She had a point. “Oh one last thing, actually. If Eric comes up in conversation, can you not say anything about the fact that we dated? Because no one else knows about that. I didn't even tell Bobby.”  
  
“You didn't even tell _Bobby?”_ Seiyeon repeated, her tone one of disbelief. “Your best friend? Why not?”  
  
“Ah it just wasn't a good idea, you know the whole trainer thing? Could have gotten us in trouble.”  
  
“I understand why you wouldn't tell other people, but Bobby? That's just surprising, I thought you told Bobby everything.”  
  
Jinhwan shrugged. “It was just easier not saying anything. So promise you won't say anything about it?”  
  
Seiyeon nodded. “I promise, not a word!”  
  
“Thanks, noona! I appreciate it.” Jinhwan hugged her one last time before getting up. “Okay, let's go!” Seiyeon took his hand again as they made their way inside and Jinhwan happily held it, beaming as he made his way back to his friends. She was here finally, everything else today was a bonus.  
  
Bobby was watching for them, concern growing slightly when it took a while for them to come in. It was probably nothing, he told himself. Probably just Jinhwan being an emotional sap with his sister and not wanting anyone to see. Bobby wouldn't put it past him. Hanbin and Junhoe were still trading insults and Bobby was impressed at how long they were able to keep it up. He thought it was cute. Hanbin almost seemed younger when Junhoe was around, he was more of a dork. Bobby liked seeing his dorky side.  
  
It was weird, though, because sometimes Hanbin did things that Bobby would have judged past boyfriends for, would have teased them for, even. But everything Hanbin did was cute in his eyes. So Hanbin was a good distraction while he waited for Jinhwan to come back; Bobby laughed along with them and couldn't help but appreciate how well the four of them were working out. Whatever did or didn't end up happening with Junhoe and Jinhwan had better not mess anything up for their group.  
  
Bobby was the first to spot Jinhwan and felt all the tension he'd been holding onto slip away at the happy looks on the siblings' faces. He squeezed Hanbin's arm to get his attention. “Okay, they're here! Be nice, guys.”  
  
Hanbin sat up excitedly, watching as Jinhwan climbed the stairs back up to them, his sister following behind him. He could see their family resemblance already. Jinhwan looked so happy to be here with her that it made Hanbin forget about what Bobby had told them earlier.  
  
“Hey, noona!” Bobby called out, standing up to greet Seiyeon. “You look beautiful today!”  
  
“I look beautiful every day, Jiwon-ah!” Seiyeon replied, pulling him into a hug.  
  
Bobby laughed at her response. “Ah, of course you do!”  
  
Seiyeon pulled back and looked down at Hanbin quickly before looking back at Bobby. “Is this the new boyfriend?”  
  
Bobby grinned and looked at Hanbin quickly. “Yeah, this is Hanbin!”  
  
Hanbin stood up and bowed quickly before addressing her. “It's nice to meet you, Seiyeon-sshi!”  
  
“Oh don't be so formal!” Seiyeon replied, smiling at him. “If you're friends with Jinan-ie and dating Jiwon, then you're pretty much family already!” She pulled him into a hug too, and Hanbin happily hugged her back. She held him at arm's length for a moment after their hug before looking back at her brother. “Ah Jinan, you have such pretty friends now!”  
  
“Hey! What do you mean, _now?”_ Bobby exclaimed, frowning at her.  
  
“Jiwon, you're a sweet boy and that's all that matters.” Seiyeon teased. “It says a lot about your personality to nab such a cute boyfriend!” She winked at Hanbin, who blushed at her comment.  
  
“Ah, noona, I'm not _that_ much better looking than Bobby!” Hanbin replied, playing coy.  
  
Seiyeon didn't buy it, though. “Don't be modest, I'm sure you own a mirror! Speaking of pretty friends, though, I see you, Junhoe-ya!”  
  
Junhoe grinned at the exchange. “Hey, noona!” He greeted her warmly, standing up to accept a hug as well.  
  
“Jinhwan told me he lied about how you actually know each other,” she said, grinning when Junhoe laughed, “so it's nice to meet the real you! Are you fighting too today?”  
  
“Yeah, I'm in the other semi-final, actually!” Junhoe replied, grinning at Jinhwan. “So we might be fighting later.”  
  
“If we do he'll be losing,” Jinhwan replied, “I beat him twice already.”  
  
“I let you win!” Junhoe joked back. “I like to lose every now and then to fabricate an illusion of modesty.” He said to Seiyeon, who laughed.  
  
“Ah, cute and a good sense of humour! If only you were ten years older and straight!” Seiyeon teased, grinning when Junhoe blushed.  
  
“Noona!” Jinhwan whined, “you promised!”  
  
Seiyeon just patted his cheek. “I know what I promised, and it was something different!” They took seats then, chatting for a bit before Jinhwan had to head down to prepare for his fight. He was actually a little nervous about the match, because while he was familiar with his opponent, Ha Siwon, he'd never fought him before. Siwon had a good five inches on Jinhwan, at least thirty pounds, and no less than five years. It wasn't the first time he'd fought someone much bigger than he was, but Siwon's body type was of a stronger build than Jinhwan had ever fought before. Siwon also boasted a rather stellar record, much like Jinhwan.  
  
He knew he _could_ beat Siwon—he had the skill. But sometimes skill alone wasn't enough.  
  
He was sitting with Youngbae, discussing tactics and potential moves he could try. They'd watched all of Siwon's matches together the day before, looking for weaknesses Jinhwan could exploit. He couldn't afford to make any mistakes in this match, especially not with Seiyeon watching. He wanted her to be impressed, and nothing would be more impressive than a victory against someone of Siwon's size.  
  
Jinhwan got to his feet when it was finally time to take the mat. Youngbae stood up with him, one final shoulder rub while Jinhwan started shaking his limbs out in preparation for the fight. “You've got this guy, Jinhwan. Just follow our game place, feel him out for the first round. Let him advance on you, just worry about getting a feel for him and how powerful he is. Don't worry about actually going for any big moves until the second round.” Jinhwan nodded, knowing that it was the smart approach. “This match will be a really good test for you. If you pass this one, then we'll start looking at setting up a test for your brown belt.”  
  
Jinhwan snorted at Youngbae's comment, turning to playfully glare at his trainer. “Wow, hyung! Way to pile the pressure on.”  
  
Youngbae grinned back and patted his head. “You want to win, don't you?”  
  
Jinhwan laughed as he looked back out at the mat, his eyes falling on Siwon. He could handle this. It's not like Youngbae wouldn't let him test for the brown if he lost. The important thing wasn't really the victory but _how_ he fought. Some victories were earned, while others were lucky. Youngbae would consider a well fought loss to be a better result than a lucky victory. Anyone could capitalize on a mistake. Jinhwan didn't want to make a mistake.  
  
When he stepped out to take up his spot his eyes fell across Eric, who was sitting near to watch. Jimin was there next to Eric, of course, but Eric's eyes were focused on Jinhwan, and as soon as he noticed Jinhwan's attention Eric smiled at him and shot him a quick thumbs ups. Jinhwan smiled back, feeling buoyed by Eric's presence.  
  
He thought about their conversation the night before and felt a warm surge of confidence flood through his limbs, bolstered by the memory of what they'd talked about. All of Jinhwan's concerns from the day before, insecurities dredged up by that overheard conversation, those had all been put to rest after their talk.  


* * *

  
_“Hey, what's your problem, huh? Why are you suddenly giving me short little one word answers?” Eric asked, confused eyes on Jinhwan's face.  
  
“Nothing.” Jinhwan answered with a shrug, realizing too late that he was being every bit as obvious as Eric had called him out over. He couldn't pretend that nothing was wrong if he kept acting like something was.  
  
Eric was well-versed when it came to Jinhwan hiding things, though. “Come on, out with it! I can tell when something is bothering you. You know you'll feel better once you get it over with.”  
  
God, Eric could be so infuriating! Acting like he knew it all (even if he did know it all). It was the same thing every time. But it usually did help, though, when he talked. Should he ask and get it over with? Would Eric laugh at him for being petty? Or worse—would he confirm Jinhwan's fears and admit he'd been telling the truth?  
  
“If I guess right, will you tell you me what's bugging you?” Eric playfully asked, and Jinhwan hated how much it made him remember. So many of their conversations in the past had started this way, Jinhwan afraid to express his concerns and worries, and Eric always able to pry them out of him.  
  
Fine. He'd play along. For old time's sake. “Take a guess, then.”  
  
“It's Jimin, isn't it?”  
  
Fuck. How was Eric always so good at this?  
  
“Don't think I didn't notice you coming to watch every single one of his matches. You took quite the interest in him.”  
  
Jinhwan shrugged and hoped his face wouldn't give it all away. “Well, I've never seen him before, never even heard his name. Of course I was interested.”  
  
“Why, because he trains with me? You didn't care that much about the others. But you watched every single one of Jimin's fights, from close, too. Are you worried about him?”  
  
“Why would I be worried about him?” Jinhwan asked, and he knew from Eric's grin that he'd sounded every bit as defensive as he hadn't wanted to.  
  
“I don't know, Jinan, you tell me.”  
  
Jinhwan let out an annoyed huff of breath. How did Eric always manage to talk him into letting his secrets out? Every time. “I, uh, overheard you talking about him this morning.” He was embarrassed to be admitting to this already.  
  
Eric's expression softened though, and he looked thoughtful. “What did you hear?”  
  
Jinhwan pouted and tapped his chopsticks against his plate, already feeling like a whiny kid for even bringing it up. “It was when you first got to the venue, I was in the bathroom and I heard your voice. Someone was asking you about your new genius student.”  
  
“Ah, of course. Did you hear the whole thing?” Jinhwan nodded, and he felt like he was fifteen again, moping quietly while Eric talked him through every problem he was having—family problems, school problems.  
  
He briefly looked up at Eric, their eyes meeting. “Do you really think he's better than me?” Jinhwan hated himself for asking, hated that he actually cared about the answer.  
  
Eric's expression was hard to read. “No, of course not. He's really good, definitely my best student right now, but he's not at your level.” They stared at each other in silence for a moment before Eric smiled softly at him. “You can't really be surprised that I said it in front of him, can you? Unless you expected me to tell him that he's not as good as you?”  
  
Jinhwan flushed and looked away, embarrassed shame colouring his cheeks, because wow, he actually had expected Eric to tell Jimin that he wasn't as good as Jinhwan, hadn't he?  
  
“Ah, Jinan! I'd be disappointed in you if it wasn't so cute.” Eric chided him, reaching out to pat Jinhwan's hand.  
  
Jinhwan laughed at himself, hating how childish he'd sounded. But he couldn't hide how he felt, and honestly this had nothing to do with their relationship. Eric was more to him than just his ex-boyfriend, and when it came to jiu jitsu Eric's opinion would always matter to Jinhwan. “Okay, but how do I know you're being honest now? What if you really do think Jimin is better than me?”  
  
Eric's expression was serious now. “You saw him fight today. Do you think he's better than you?”  
  
Jinhwan thought about it seriously, recalled what he'd watched. Jimin was an excellent fighter, absolutely. But was he at Jinhwan's level? Was he that good?  
  
“No. I think I'm better than Jimin.”  
  
Eric smiled softly at his answer. “Then why do you care so much about what I think?”  
  
The question sobered Jinhwan up in a way he hadn't expected, because it wasn't something he'd expected Eric to ask him outright. He didn't have an answer because he wasn't ready to admit it to Eric. Couldn't bring himself to say it out loud.  
  
“Do we have to play the guessing game again?” Eric asked him, and Jinhwan frowned and shook his head. This was one secret he wasn't going to let Eric pry out of him, no matter how hard he tried. “I kept wondering why you keep avoiding me all the time, Jinan. I asked you if you wanted to keep in touch or if you needed some distance, and you promised me you were okay with it. You promised it didn't hurt, remember?”  
  
Of course he remembered. He thought he'd done a convincing job at the time. Was he betraying himself now?  
  
“You lied about that, didn't you?”  
  
Jinhwan didn't answer. But he didn't have to. Eric had him figured out, and he couldn't even deny it. It was true.  
  
Eric sighed and rubbed his fingers across his face. “Ah, Jinan. I wish you'd been honest with me about your feelings. I was always so good at reading you, but I was so focused on my own problems. I should have seen it, though, I don't know how I missed it. I'm sorry.”  
  
Jinhwan wanted to dispute him, wanted to tell him no, that he never should have figured it out. Wanted to apologize for not hiding it better. It was pointless anyway, because the relationship had grown into something it was never supposed to be. Neither of them had meant to fall in love. That hadn't been the point. Love is what made the whole thing end. It would have been better if Eric had never figured him out.  
  
“I'm sorry too.” Sorry about so many things._  


* * *

  
It was funny, though, how admitting to something you'd desperately been trying to hide ended up making a big difference anyway. He felt a better resolution about things after last night. Maybe he still didn't have exactly the kind of closure he wanted, but it was _something,_ an acknowledgement of what might have been had their situations been different. It was enough to clear the cloud of bitter regret that gripped his chest every time he heard Eric's name.  
  
And Jimin? Jinhwan wasn't particularly interested in Jimin anymore. He was just another student with a fancy nickname, nothing more. He'd beat Jimin later if he faced him. Jimin still had to get through Junhoe, after all. Regardless of who won that fight, Jinhwan was confident that he'd be the one victorious at the very end.  
  
He just had to get through Siwon first.  
  
He took his place in the centre of the mat, bowing when Siwon joined him. They shook hands as well, and Jinhwan felt an odd calmness when Siwon addressed him, no trace of the usual pre-fight arrogance.  
  
“Kim Jinhwan-sshi, you and I finally meet!” Siwon said with a touch of mirth.  
  
Jinhwan grinned back at him. “Ah, I feel like hyung has been avoiding me these past two years!”  
  
Siwon actually laughed at that, and it made Jinhwan feel a little less nervous. “I was thinking the same! Thought maybe you were waiting to grow a few inches.”  
  
They grinned at each other, and unlike other matches, Jinhwan didn't feel annoyed by the joke. Maybe he was finally maturing a little?  
  
“I gave up on that dream years ago, hyung!” Jinhwan replied, and Siwon laughed. The official called for their match to start then, and they clasped hands again before wishing each other a good fight. Jinhwan felt calmer now than he'd felt all weekend.  
  
His eyes briefly found Eric again, and the little nod Eric gave him had him feeling a renewed sense of confidence. Eric knew he could do it, Youngbae believed he could win, and Seiyeon was finally here watching him.  
  
Siwon didn't stand a chance.  
  
The matched started quickly with Siwon on the attack and Jinhwan patiently fending him off, getting a feel for him. They went through one round without much action, a few mounts here and there, a few half-hearted attempts at submissions that were easily slipped out of. They were both fighting cautiously, showing one another a great deal of respect. It wouldn't last, of course. By the end of the round Siwon was up on points, which was fine by Jinhwan. He'd learned what he needed to learn about Siwon. He wasn't planning on letting this fight end on a decision.  
  
Before the second round started Jinhwan looked up into the stands, waving to Seiyeon. She was beaming back at him, and the pride in her expression gave him an extra boost. She'd finally come to watch him fight, and she was going to watch him win.  
  
He took Siwon by surprise at the start of the second round, twisting inside his grip and going for an attempt at gaining Siwon's back. He held it long enough to get the first points of the second round before Siwon managed to flip him over his back and down to the mat. But Jinhwan was ready and twisted himself to wrap his legs around Siwon's back, gaining himself an open guard. He gripped Siwon's lapel, debating if he should go for a spider guard. But Siwon blocked him, driving an elbow down into Jinhwan's thigh.  
  
Jinhwan didn't release the guard though, instead locking his heels around Siwon's back and curling his fingers in the fabric of the lapel. He was looking to try something a little crazy, confident he could pull it off based on Siwon's fighting so far. He was just trying to get him in the position he wanted.  
  
When Jinhwan refused to unlock his heels Siwon stood up to try a stack pass, and that was exactly what Jinhwan had been hoping for. He waited until Siwon was nearly upright before dropping his legs from around Siwon's waist, barely touching toes to the floor before hopping up again and wrapping one leg around Siwon's front, sandwiching Siwon's left arm in between Jinhwan's arm and leg, while he swung his other leg up and around Siwon's back, following his right arm as it hooked around Siwon's neck.  
  
The momentum of his jump carried through his body and he reached down with his left arm, hooking it around the back of Siwon's left knee, dragging him down with all of his weight dangling off of that shoulder. Siwon flipped over top of him and Jinhwan tucked himself in underneath, rolling their combined weight across his shoulders on the mat. As soon as they landed the roll he brought his right leg up and tucked it behind his other ankle, locking his legs in place while he wrapped his fingers back in Siwon's lapel and tugged hard to complete the bow and arrow choke.  
  
Siwon tapped out and Jinhwan released it immediately, rolling to his feet and jumping up in victory, spinning on his heel to find his sister's face in the crowd. Seiyeon was on her feet, jumping in excitement and shaking Bobby's arm. Jinhwan waved at her and she looked so proud of him that he had to look away before it made him cry. He gave his attention to Youngbae next, who was on his feet and looking extremely pleased. They'd discussed the potential of the flying bow and arrow choke, but Jinhwan couldn't believe he'd pulled it off so perfectly. He accepted a hug from his trainer before turning to meet Siwon, who was back up on his feet.  
  
“Guess you don't need those extra inches after all, do you?” Siwon said, and Jinhwan grinned back at him.  
  
“I guess not! Thank you for the great fight, hyung!” They shared a brief hug before pulling apart and heading back to their teams. Jinhwan was elated. He couldn't wait to get back to Seiyeon and hear her thoughts. He climbed up into the stands, eyes on his sister the whole way. She reached out for him as soon as he got there, hands cupping his cheeks before pressing a kiss to his forehead. “I'm so proud of you, you're amazing!”  
  
Jinhwan couldn't believe how good it felt, hearing her compliment after such a long time spent chasing after it.  
  
“When I saw how big your opponent was, Jinan, I was so worried! I thought, how on earth are you going to beat him? And then you did that flip thing? I can't believe it!”  
  
Jinhwan grinned, amused at Seiyeon's complete bewilderment. It felt good to have put on such an impressive victory for her to witness.  
  
“I'm so happy I got to see you like that! I mean, I should have been supporting you all along, and really it shouldn't matter even if you had lost. I can see how important this is to you. I'm sorry I haven't been here. I really am.” She looked at him with tears in her eyes and Jinhwan could feel tears filling his own eyes.  
  
“Ah, noona, it's okay. I forgive you.” It felt like a weight was lifted from his shoulders after saying it. He had her now, she wasn't going anywhere. He didn't need to hold on for anything more.  
  
She kissed him again and hugged him, and that was when Jinhwan finally looked past her to see his friends. Bobby had his face half hidden in Hanbin's shoulder, but the look of relief in his eyes was enough for Jinhwan. Hanbin was wearing the biggest smile on his face, touched by Seiyeon's overwhelmingly positive response. Junhoe was smiling too, but the moment Jinhwan looked at him he averted his gaze, almost shyly, and it just made Jinhwan laugh.  
  
He had everything he needed right here.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a note before anyone asks: no, Eric was NOT married when he and Jinhwan were together. More details about what happened between them will come out later. Just wanted to clarify that one, though. ;)


	19. Turtle Guard

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Who will make it through to face Jinhwan in the final?

“Now that I'm through, it's time to get Junhoe through!” Jinhwan plunked himself down on the bench next to Junhoe, still on a high after his victory. “So we watched Jimin yesterday, and we know he's got a style that's very similar to mine. So keep aware of your space, don't let him get inside your guard because he's good at pulling submissions, you saw his reach yesterday, he's pretty flexible. Try to control his back, use your long arms to your advantage.”  
  
Junhoe nodded, grateful for the pep talk, but the nerves were hitting him in an unexpected way. While he felt more confident about his chances with Jimin than he felt about his chances with Jinhwan later, he still felt more nervous than usual. But he'd watched all of Jimin's matches the day before and he knew what he could do, knew what he tended to prefer doing.  
  
Regardless of outcome he had to be content with his results. This was his first national tournament at the purple belt level, and to finish top four was honestly better than he had any right to expect. It was easy to get caught up in expectations around Jinhwan, who had the skill and experience to expect placement in the top two. While Junhoe knew he was good, and he knew he'd definitely fought well in his matches, maybe he'd just gotten lucky to avoid certain other fighters in his group.  
  
Usually when he got to semi-finals he wasn't met with an accompanying sense of dread over how he would place. He already considered top four the best victory possible. But today his stomach was churning with a strange apprehension. He wanted to win, but he also wasn't sure that he wanted to fight Jinhwan again so soon. He felt vulnerable. Maybe it was because he'd lost to him recently, or maybe it was because they were friends. He wasn't really sure.  
  
He thanked Jinhwan for his advice before standing up, but before he could take a step further Seiyeon came to give him a hug.  
  
“Good luck, Junhoe-ya!” She stood in front of him for a moment, like she was studying his face, and Junhoe was suddenly reminded of his own sister. Yejin was stuck finishing an important paper for school and wasn't able to make it today, so it was kind of nice to see Seiyeon.  
  
“Thanks, noona.” Junhoe replied back, and suddenly Seiyeon hugged him again.  
  
“Just do your best and we'll be proud of you, don't be nervous,” she whispered into his ear, and it was almost like she could sense the apprehension. She pulled back and patted his cheek and Junhoe felt a surge of brotherly affection for her. As comfortable and supported as he felt with the guys, sometimes the softness of a sister made all the difference. He was happy she was here today since Yejin couldn't be.  
  
After Seiyeon came Hanbin, who dramatically hugged him and cupped his face.  
  
“If you die, I'll throw the biggest party in your honour.”  
  
Junhoe frowned at him but played along. “Eh, how does this benefit me?”  
  
“I'll make it super exclusive,” Hanbin replied, “everyone will hear about it, but no one will actually be invited, so the whole school will be in a scramble to figure out who's going. I'll call it 'The Koo Junhoe Memorial Meltdown', because everyone will be _having_ a meltdown trying to get a ticket. It'll be legendary.”  
  
Junhoe laughed. This is why he needed Hanbin at these tournaments. He always kept him in good spirits despite the stress. “Alright, I accept your proposal, though I am a little concerned that you've given it this much thought. Are you expecting me to lose?”  
  
Hanbin looked offended. “I just like to be prepared!”  
  
“Sure,” Junhoe replied, rolling his eyes, “what did I do to deserve such a supportive best friend?”  
  
“Probably offended some God in a past life.” Hanbin answered, and they both dissolved into giggles.  
  
“Kick his little shrimp ass, Junhoe-ya!” Bobby yelled in support when they got a hold on their laughter.  
  
“Are you talking about Jimin or Hanbin?” Junhoe replied, and Hanbin looked like he wanted to hit him, but he managed to hold himself back.  
  
“Yeah, okay if you _do_ end up losing, it better be due to life threatening injury!” Hanbin teased. “I won't accept anything less! Make it worth my while!”  
  
“Keep talking and I'll make it worth your while to shut you up!” Junhoe replied, balling his fists and mock threatening Hanbin.  
  
“That doesn't even make sense.” Hanbin replied, and it just sent them both laughing again.  
  
Jinhwan came back to him just as he was about to head down to his coach.  
  
“You'll have a good fight,” Jinhwan told him, “just remember my advice and be intelligent. Pay attention to everything and try to stay ahead of him. Anticipating his moves is really important.”  
  
“Thanks, hyung,” Junhoe answered, and hearing Jinhwan say that he'd have a good fight was oddly comforting, “I'd invite you down to sit on the bench again but that might look a little suspect,” Junhoe joked.  
  
Jinhwan grinned back at him. “Yeah, I figured as much so I'll just stay here. But you know what you need to do. Remember that when you're in there.” Jinhwan hugged him, and Junhoe thought again that it was nice to have another fighter here as a _friend_ and not just a teammate. It really did make a difference.  
  
As he walked down to meet with his coach he couldn't help but still feel weird about the fact that his usual pre-match confidence was lacking today. He wondered what the actual cause was. He hadn't felt this nervous before fighting Jinhwan the second time, and none of his other competitors from this weekend made him nervous either. Was it the common factor of Eric Kwon? Junhoe hadn't known about Jinhwan's connection the first time they'd met. Was it the problem now? Or was it the memory of losing to Jinhwan, and knowing that Jimin was very similar, right down to his small size?  
  
Those thoughts occupied the back of Junhoe's head as he had a pre-match talk with his coach, discussing tactics. They followed him onto the mat, but Junhoe still couldn't help but grin when he towered over Jimin. He was even a little smaller than Jinhwan. But size meant nothing, after all, as Jinhwan had demonstrated time and again. The biggest difference between Jimin and Jinhwan was that while Jinhwan was all cocky attitude face to face, Jimin was nothing but a friendly smile, and instead of whispering jabs he politely wished Junhoe a good fight before bowing to him. Junhoe almost though he was a little too nice. How was he supposed to want to kick his ass?  
  
That concern disappeared once the match got underway and Junhoe kept Jinhwan's advice on his mind, fighting more carefully against Jimin, wary of his dangers. By the time they got to the third round they were pretty even on points, with Junhoe only one ahead. He felt good, though, he felt like maybe he actually could win this thing if he continued being careful? Maybe he ought to use his big size to his advantage a bit more fully in the last round, dominate Jimin a bit more.  
  
Thirty seconds into the round and Jimin was on his back, and when Junhoe tried to step over him to get a standing guard Jimin reached out and balled a fist into the sleeve of his gi, tugging on it to try and throw him off balance. He quickly raised his left leg up into Junhoe's hip, trying to control his forward movement, and when Junhoe reached for Jimin's leg, Jimin pulled himself up to grab Junhoe's free arm, again gripping the sleeve tightly.  
  
Junhoe couldn't believe he'd just walked into another spider guard! Careless, absolutely careless!  
  
Jimin kept him held back at the waist, and Junhoe thought about his options, trying to figure out what he ought to do. He could try to curl inside Jimin's leg and go for a lock, but that would only work if he managed to get both of his arms free. If not, then he'd be right inside Jimin's guard and from the back, no less! He was stronger than Jimin, so maybe if he tried to pull him into a stack pass, use his leverage against him?  
  
As Junhoe contemplated, Jimin put his own plan into motion, curling his right leg up and over Junhoe's left arm, his foot sliding into place between Junhoe's legs, trapping his arm. Jimin let go of the arm as he drove his foot against Junhoe again, trying to kick him forward off balance. Junhoe squatted down, trying to sit back on Jimin's foot to keep himself stable. But suddenly Jimin dropped his hold on Junhoe's other arm and swivelled his body to the side, wrapping his left arm around the bottom of Junhoe's leg near his ankle.  
  
Junhoe was totally caught in Jimin's hold, unable to get his leg free. He cursed when Jimin's left foot kicked into his other leg, the slide putting him off balance so he had no choice but to roll forward, all while Jimin shot over him, locking both legs around Junhoe's left leg and keeping his arms around Junhoe's right leg, pulling in tight into a knee lock.  
  
Junhoe tried to roll himself out of the lock, but every twist had him gasping, his knee held tight in Jimin's grasp, and the grinding was almost unbearable. But it wasn't even the pain in the moment that had him worried—if he moved himself any further he might do damage to his joint, and screwing up his knee was not on his list of things to do.  
  
He looked for the clock, but there was too much time left, over three minutes, and he couldn't hold out that long. There was no way Jimin would relinquish the hold, and the pain just increased constantly.  
  
So with a surge of anger and bitter regret Junhoe made the decision to tap out, and the second Jimin released him he rolled onto his stomach, hands massaging his knee. He kept his face in the mat out of nothing more than wounded pride.  
  
This was the first time in his tournament career that he'd ever tapped out. It didn't feel real, it felt like some kind of bad dream. He'd never been submitted in competition before. Not once. How had Jimin managed it? How had Junhoe allowed himself to walk right into it?  
  
He remained on the floor, he didn't want to get up, didn't want to accept his defeat gracefully. Not right now. The fight had gone well right up until that damn spider guard! It was just like his second fight with Jinhwan! Fine until the spider. He should have been looking for it, should have anticipated it like Jinhwan had advised.  
  
A second later he felt a hand on his shoulder, and he looked up into Jimin's face, irritated at the look of concern.  
  
“Are you okay?” Jimin asked, and it nudged Junhoe out of his post-loss funk. What was he doing, laying on the mat like some bratty toddler who'd just been told no? His own pride had to take a back seat at the moment, because he needed to be a good competitor even in the face of defeat.  
  
“Yeah, just pulled it a bit too much trying to get out, I'm good.” He let Jimin help him up, embracing him and exchanging compliments about the fight. Junhoe tried to remember in the moment that it actually _had_ been a good fight until the end. He'd been leading, after all! It had been a tight match, sure, but he'd done a lot of good things, and he remembered being pleased with himself after the first two rounds. This wasn't a loss that he needed to be ashamed of. It was a learning curve, it was an indication that something was lacking in his training and in his own thought process during the fight.  
  
He just needed to examine himself and figure out what the problem was. Losing was necessary, his coach always said, because if you were lucky in your matches and only ever won over your opponents, then you'd never know if you were doing something wrong. Clearly Junhoe was doing something wrong, and this was an opportunity to sort it out. After the match ended he stayed with his coach for a bit to talk things over, and he was surprised to find that his bitterness over the loss was mostly gone. He'd fought well, and now he had something to work on when he got back to training. There was no shame in this loss.  
  
He made his way back up to his friends with a renewed sense of contentment, wondering if they would be shocked at his reaction to the match or not. Hanbin was waiting for him, no doubt with some sarcastic comment he would use to judge Junhoe's attitude with. Hanbin was good that way, using humour to feel Junhoe out instead of sympathy.  
  
“Hey, Junhoe! After we're done here today we decided we're gonna go watch a movie.” Hanbin greeted him, grinning when Junhoe's narrowed eyes settled on him.  
  
“What movie?” Junhoe played along.  
  
“Arachnophobia!” Hanbin replied, laughing at Junhoe's annoyed expression. Hanbin had told the others to let him figure out how Junhoe was feeling after the loss before saying anything to him. Hanbin was always able to figure him out: an annoyed but snarky response to teasing meant that Junhoe was fine, while a quiet dismissal with no comment meant that he was not in the mood for conversation and needed time to himself first.  
  
“Are you done?” Junhoe asked, standing in front of Hanbin with his arms crossed over his chest.  
  
Hanbin grinned back at him. “We can watch 'It' afterwards, cause that guy totally clowned you!” Hanbin replied, grinning when Junhoe let out a loud sigh.  
  
He was fine.  
  
Jinhwan watched them closely, mindful of Hanbin's explanation regarding Junhoe's response. Hanbin hadn't stopped teasing him, so that probably meant that Junhoe was okay? Jinhwan hoped so, because he wasn't really good with half-sympathy. He was either the type to cuddle a friend while they cried, or to completely forget there was even supposed to be a problem. He didn't do well with walking on eggshells, and he didn't like to pry for information when none was on offer.  
  
But Junhoe didn't strike him as the type who wanted anyone to pry. Either he shared or he didn't. That worked fine for Jinhwan.  
  
“Arachnophobia would help,” Jinhwan spoke up, grinning when Junhoe turned his glare on him, “because I think he needs to be a little more afraid of spiders.” He knew it was a risk, joining Hanbin in his teasing, but this was kind of a test, wasn't it? If Junhoe got offended by Jinhwan's teasing but not Hanbin's, wouldn't it mean that they needed to work more on their friendship? If he didn't get offended, though, then it probably meant that Jinhwan had finally gained his trust?  
  
Junhoe frowned at Jinhwan, but it was only for show. He'd been worried that Jinhwan might try to ply him with sympathy now that they were friends, and Junhoe didn't respond well to that unless he was looking specifically for it. But the teasing... That was what Junhoe preferred right now. He'd accepted the loss, so he'd rather take some jokes at the moment.  
  
“I fucking hate spiders.”  
  
Junhoe's gaze flitted between Jinhwan and Hanbin, and a second later he started giggling, and so did Hanbin, which led to Jinhwan and finally Bobby. The only one not laughing was Seiyeon, who was confused.  
  
“Okay I'm lost,” Seiyeon said, looking between them, “why are we talking about spiders?”  
  
Jinhwan looked at his sister before looking back at Junhoe, and two seconds later he and Junhoe were laughing even harder, much to Seiyeon's irritation. Bobby was the one who finally explained Junhoe's continued vulnerability to the spider guard, and finally she understood.  
  
Junhoe sat down in between Jinhwan and Hanbin, and he suddenly felt oddly grateful for losing. Half of his nerves had been focused on fighting Jinhwan again later, and now that he no longer had to, it was like his mind was clearing everything out. He wasn't upset about the loss at all anymore, and he was proud of his top four finish. It was obvious that both Jinhwan and Jimin had more experience than he did, but that knowledge no longer bristled him in any way. It was just a new challenge, instead. He felt like he was finally being tested at a higher level. Even though he still had a lot to learn, he'd done well.  
  
He looked at Jinhwan, who was watching as they set the floor for the brown belt semi-finals. He wondered, maybe, if Jinhwan would be promoted before they ever had the chance to fight again? He wanted to ask Jinhwan for his opinion on the match, but he didn't want to sound like he was fishing for compliments or sympathy. He just wanted the opinion of someone who had first-hand knowledge of fighting him. How had he looked against Jimin compared to how he'd done against Jinhwan?  
  
Jinhwan was only too eager to give him his opinion.  
  
“Shitty that you lost, but I hope you feel good about the match,” Jinhwan said earnestly, “you did really well against him, you controlled most of it.”  
  
Junhoe nodded. “I do feel good about it, actually. It was a good match, right?”  
  
Jinhwan smiled at him. “Yeah, it really was! You looked a lot better in this fight, I think if you watch this one and our second fight, you'll really see your improvement. Even though you did good against me, it was mostly my fault, I let you win a lot of those mounts because I wasn't fighting you seriously and was just focused on getting your back,” Jinhwan admittedly sheepishly, but Junhoe agreed with him.  
  
“I know, I kind of figured that out after watching the match a few times.”  
  
“But this time you fought a much smarter game, you made better decisions in terms of moves and you really worked hard to always counter his game plan. I could tell that you were anticipating his moves more, you just got a little careless at the end, but it happens to everyone at some point.”  
  
Junhoe was pleased to hear the praise. “You think so?”  
  
“Totally! You took more time to think, I could see that, you didn't rush anything. That's important at this stage, making sure that your instincts are the smart moves to make. Sometimes you instinctively want to do something, but your brain tells you that it's not the intelligent move to make. We just learn so many instinctual habits at training, but training and competition are two different things, so it's important to make sure you're making the right choices.” Jinhwan meant what he was saying. Junhoe really had shown a lot of improvement over the course of this weekend in comparison with their previous tournament. He was thinking differently.  
  
“Thanks, hyung!” Junhoe replied, and he felt even better after hearing Jinhwan's words.  
  
“I guess I'll put it this way. Despite having a lot of skill, I think the last time we fought you were thinking like an experienced blue belt, fighting at the top of his class. This time you fought like a purple belt who had more respect for his opponent, who knew that he had to pay more attention.” Jinhwan hoped Junhoe wouldn't take it like an insult. “I hope you understand what I mean.”  
  
“I do.” It was an interesting way to look at it, but he was certain that Jinhwan meant it as a huge compliment.  
  
“Just because you fight confidently with an expectation to win, that doesn't mean you're going to look like a good fighter. You might just look like an arrogant brat who got promoted too fast. Being cautious can sometimes make you look better.” Jinhwan was pleased that Junhoe seemed to get what he was saying, and he felt proud of himself for saying something that made Junhoe look so happy. Beyond that, though, he was also impressed with Junhoe's response to losing.  
  
Jinhwan had expected him to react with a whinier attitude, moping around after losing and needing a bit of time to himself. That's what he'd been like after losing to Jinhwan both times. Then again, on both of those losses, Jinhwan had greeted Junhoe with arrogance and a superior attitude, so maybe it had been his own fault for bringing out Junhoe's negative response? Now that he was being nice to Junhoe, Junhoe could be nice back without any vulnerable insecurity.  
  
It really made Jinhwan think about himself. Maybe his attitude towards his opponents on the mat needed to be considered. Could he really take another step closer to his black belt if he was copping an immature attitude to opponents? He'd have to pay attention to himself from now on and try his best to cut that sort of thing out. It only benefited himself, but part of succession into higher ranks was learning to be selfless and working to help those below him. That extended to his opponents as well as his juniors.  
  
“I hope you have a good fight yourself later on, hyung,” Junhoe said, “you and Jimin do have a similar style, so it'll be interesting watching the two of you fight.”  
  
Jinhwan fixed Junhoe with a grin. “So, now that you've fought both of us, who do you think will win later?” He couldn't help but ask, mostly just to hear Junhoe's answer.  
  
“Oh you'll win for sure,” Junhoe replied, grinning at Jinhwan's slight look of surprise at the certainty with which he'd answered, “he's good, but you're better.”  
  
Even though Jinhwan knew that he _was_ better, it still felt nice to hear Junhoe say it. Compliments always felt nicer when they came from people that you really liked.  


* * *

  
A multitude of thoughts ran through Jinhwan's head as he stood there before Jimin, contemplating what sort of approach to take with him. Their styles were similar, but Jinhwan was confident in his ability to switch things up more. There had been a few points in his matches where Jimin had looked loose, not keeping his moves as tight as he should. Jinhwan was always conscious of that himself. He also thought about his contemplations of earlier, about his attitude towards his opponents. Should he start now, and extend a hand to Jimin in a polite and courteous manner, wishing him luck?  
  
It was hard to break old habits, though. “Ah, Jimin-sshi! It's nice to finally be able to fight someone shorter than me!” Jinhwan couldn't help but tease, and Jimin looked a little surprised at it, but he smiled politely anyway.  
  
“I'm glad I can fulfil your dream of being the tall one!” Jimin replied, and he sounded so earnest about it that Jinhwan had to wonder if he actually meant it? Junhoe had said that Jimin had seemed so _nice_ that it had almost felt a little off-putting. As Jinhwan looked at his cherubic smile he couldn't help but feel the same way. Not only was Jimin shorter, but he just looked younger too. Jinhwan felt like he was going to be fighting a kid.  
  
Whatever. Jimin wouldn't be here if he was really as young as he looked.  
  
Jinhwan looked past Jimin, finally meeting Eric's gaze for the first time. Eric didn't make any motions towards him this time (not that Jinhwan had expected him to) but he was sitting forward, ready to give the match his full attention. He held Eric's gaze for a few seconds, remembering their conversation from the night before.  
  
_Why do you care so much about my opinion?_  
  
It had been a good reminder for Jinhwan that he needed to put his own feelings towards the sport first, that he needed to worry about pleasing himself before anyone else. In the end he was doing all of this for himself, so of course his own opinion ought to matter the most.  
  
The official called them together then, while the announcer called their names out. Everyone was gathered to watch the match, and Jinhwan felt proud to be standing there. He looked out briefly into the stands, finding his sister, his friends, and even previous opponents. Everyone was watching, and it bolstered Jinhwan's desire to do well. Just because he needed to keep his own feelings first, that didn't mean that he wouldn't care about everyone else's opinions too, and right now he wanted to give them reasons to think on him highly.  
  
Jinhwan didn't even give Jimin a moment to think before coming at him, getting down low to the mat and popping up towards him, reaching up to claim Jimin's lapel on both sides, while Jimin grabbed Jinhwan's arms, trying to counter his move. But Jinhwan pulled him closer, tugging to test out his strength against Jimin, before sinking down to his knees and pulling Jimin up and over his back, using the strength of his legs to push up and get Jimin's feet off the mat, propelling him over his shoulder. Jimin landed on his back in front of Jinhwan, who was looking to gain his guard.  
  
Jimin wasn't ready to be dominated just yet, scrambling to get out of Jinhwan's grasp. He shifted around until he was facing Jinhwan, who grabbed for Jimin's legs and tried to roll him to the side to take his back. Jimin didn't let him, and instead balled his fist into the sleeve of Jinhwan's gi and drove his left foot up into Jinhwan's shoulder. He was only able to secure one of Jinhwan's arms, but still tried to get his leg up and around Jinhwan's neck to pull him inside his guard.  
  
Jinhwan was able to dodge the leg, keeping in control while he simply tested Jimin out for a bit. He wanted to see how strong he was, wanted to see how dangerous he would be if they got in a tighter spot. Jinhwan twisted the arm that Jimin had a grip on, eventually breaking Jimin's hold, and as soon as he did he grabbed for Jimin's leg, attempting to control it down and maybe get an early leg lock in place. But Jimin pulled his leg out and tried to grab for Jinhwan's arm again, but Jinhwan kept it just out of his reach.  
  
They grappled for a minute back and forth until Jimin was able to get Jinhwan in a half guard, his fists holding tightly to Jinhwan's lapel. Jinhwan carefully got a bit closer and pulled Jimin towards him, getting his knees in underneath him, attempting to elevate Jimin slightly to keep him from trying to go around to his back. When he had him in the position he wanted Jinhwan stretched back and grabbed Jimin's belt, pulling him closer to get his own guard. Jimin managed to execute an inverted roll, escaping Jinhwan's grasp and landing on his back and sliding his legs up to Jinhwan's hips, and suddenly they were right back where they started.  
  
Jimin got his legs up around Jinhwan's arms and reached for the sleeves of his gi. But Jinhwan managed to block the grab by sliding his knee into Jimin's armpit in a sliding pass, and then he pushed himself up and sprang forward, pressing his full weight down on top of Jimin's side, eventually gaining side guard. He remained there for a bit, applying pressure to Jimin, trying to tire him out a little while he caught his own breath.  
  
Eventually Jinhwan tried to go for an armbar, and while he secured it he didn't quite manage to get it high up enough around the clavicle, so Jimin was able to pop his arm out of it, grabbing Jinhwan's foot and nearly getting him in a bad position. But Jinhwan quickly scrambled up and the end of the first round found them in a deadlock position, neither of them able to get inside the other.  
  
They separate and head back to their coaches. Jinhwan was quiet as Youngbae offered him water and rubbed his shoulders, discussing vital points so far in the first round.  
  
Jimin did better than Jinhwan had expected him to. He was stronger than he looked and he'd anticipated Jinhwan's moves. Not surprising, of course, given who he was training with. But still a little concerning in Jinhwan's opinion. He didn't like fighting a mirror of himself.  
  
“Do you think I should change things up for the next round?” Jinhwan asked Youngbae, curious to get his opinion.  
  
“He is anticipating everything, it's almost like you're fighting yourself,” Youngbae agreed.  
  
Jinhwan was thinking of trying something that he'd never done while training with Eric. Something he didn't think Eric trained on himself. “I've never attacked from turtle when I trained with Eric,” Jinhwan said, and Youngbae nodded. Recently he'd started studying attacks popularized by Eduardo Telles, and while he hadn't quite perfected them yet, he felt like he might end up having to do something unexpected in order to get the kind of result he wanted.  
  
“You've looked good doing it in training,” Youngbae said, “you'll just have to make sure that you don't let him get too locked in with his mount.”  
  
Jinhwan nodded, knowing that he would be taking a huge risk. But in the end tournaments were the best training method to really test what he was learning. What would show better to Youngbae? Sticking with the safe routine, that would probably get him a victory (but by decision and last all three rounds), or testing out a new technique that would possibly get him a submission?  
  
Jinhwan liked to avoid going the full distance whenever possible. Submission it would be.  
  
They lined up again and this time Jinhwan didn't look at anyone else. He kept his eyes on Jimin, staring hard. It's not that he was trying to be intimidating. Maybe he was.  
  
Jinhwan knew it would be a little dangerous to let Jimin get him in the position he wanted—it wouldn't be enough to stay two steps ahead, he'd have to stay five.  
  
He started the attack again, going down for Jimin's legs and attempting a take-down leg lock, which he surprisingly almost got locked in. But in the end Jimin managed to pull out of it, rolling away and standing up. Jinhwan remained on the floor, waiting for Jimin to come back to him. He'd been up on points at the end of the first and was leading still in the second, so he had to be careful that he didn't look careless, because that wasn't his style and Jimin might realize something was up.  
  
Jimin came back in and Jinhwan reached for his arm, grabbing one sleeve and pulling him closer, trying to get his legs up so he could attain a guard. Jimin didn't get too far inside, but eventually Jinhwan managed to get both feet up at Jimin's hips, still reaching for his other arm, giving the appearance of going for a spider guard.  
  
It was a tactic Jimin recognized, of course, and he twisted his arm out of Jinhwan's grip quickly before taking hold of his knees and trying to roll him to the side. This was the tricky part. He let Jimin slide close to him, trying to go for side guard. Jinhwan retained awareness of Jimin's hand on his lapel as he rolled away from him, ending up on his knees in turtle guard, with Jimin's arm slung across his back and holding to his gi. Jinhwan waited just long enough for Jimin to scurry forward, looking to take Jinhwan's suddenly exposed back.  
  
That was proof enough for Jinhwan that Eric definitely wasn't teaching Jimin what he was currently learning with Youngbae, otherwise he might have questioned Jinhwan's move. Jinhwan timed it perfectly, waiting for Jimin to start looping his other arm around Jinhwan's back. Before he had a chance to do that Jinhwan reached back and grabbed Jimin's left leg, holding tight while he executed a shoulder roll, Jimin's left arm getting caught underneath Jinhwan's back as he rolled over him.  
  
As they rolled out Jinhwan locked his feet around Jimin's leg and gripped his foot tightly, sitting up and bringing his other arm up to trap Jimin's leg. He pressed the bony part of his forearm into Jimin's Achilles tendon, while hyperextending his foot forward.  
  
Jinhwan knew he had it locked in perfectly from the sounds of distress Jimin was making. Jimin tried to sit up, tried to shuffle forward to relieve a bit of pressure on his foot, but by then Jinhwan had his left foot shoved tight against Jimin's hip, blocking him from moving forward. Jimin struggled, trying to get leverage against Jinhwan's blocking foot, but Jinhwan kept it locked in tight and twisted Jimin's leg until the pain was unbearable.  
  
Jimin tapped out and Jinhwan dropped his leg, rolling quickly to his side and springing to his feet. Youngbae was standing up, proud applause meeting Jinhwan. He shared a quick hug with his coach before returning to the mat, meeting Jimin in the middle with the official. Jinhwan was announced as the winner, and after that he turned back to Jimin, bowing in his direction before offering his hand. Jimin shook it before unexpectedly surging forward to envelop Jinhwan in a hug.  
  
Jinhwan hugged back, a little surprised but going with it. When they pulled back Jimin smiled at him. “Ah, Jinhwan-ssi, that was an honour to face you!”  
  
Jinhwan grinned and laughed a little. “It was a great fight! You were actually better than I expected in the first round.” Jinhwan admitted, and he grinned again when Jimin looked a little shy at the praise.  
  
“Thank you! I've heard so much about you, and now that we've fought I understand the hype.”  
  
Jinhwan was surprised at the comment. Who was talking about him?  
  
Jimin seemed to notice his confusion. “Everyone at the club talks about you, about how good you are. They made a lot of comparisons when I joined, it honestly made me a little nervous about fighting you!” Jimin admitted with a laugh.  
  
Jinhwan just smiled at him, amused at the news but also feeling a little bad for the kid. It was tough to shine when you were in someone else's shadow. It felt a little weird to think that _he_ was the shadow. Jinhwan didn't realize he'd left such an impression. They moved off the mat together, standing on the sidelines as they set up for the brown belt final next. The medals would be presented after the black belt final.  
  
They were joined by their respective teams, and Jinhwan couldn't help but grin at the look of surprise on Eric's face. “Been studying Telles, have you?” Eric asked.  
  
“I'm surprised to hear you don't!” Youngbae teased.  
  
“I guess we'll have to start now, won't we?” Eric replied, slinging an arm around Jimin's shoulders. “You guys both fought an excellent match, be proud of yourselves!”  
  
“Thank you, hyung, but Jinhwan-ssi fought better in the end!” Jimin replied, and oddly enough it actually tugged at Jinhwan's protective instincts a little. Which was weird. He was never in the habit of feeling sorry for his opponents. Then again, he usually didn't have personal connections to them either.  
  
“He did, but don't feel like you were lacking.” Eric told him. “You pressed him to try something new and unexpected, after all.”  
  
“That's true,” Jinhwan added, smiling at them, “I took a chance with that, I hadn't quite perfected it in training, but I felt like I needed to do something special. You matched me too well in the start.” Once again Jimin looked a little shy at receiving the praise, and it actually warmed Jinhwan's heart a little.  
  
“What have you done to this kid?” Eric laughed, looking at Youngbae. “I don't think I've ever heard him say something so nice after a fight!”  
  
Jinhwan laughed at the comment, but then it made him wonder—did he really have that kind of a reputation?  
  
“I don't know, to tell you the truth,” Youngbae replied, “did you fall in love recently, Jinan-ie?” Youngbae teased, and Jinhwan shook his head in protest.  
  
“No!” He laughed in reply, looking from Youngbae to Eric. “I'm not in love, I'm not with anyone!”  
  
“Are you sure? Because you're not usually this nice.” Youngbae replied.  
  
“Hyung, you're making me look bad!” Jinhwan laughed, shaking his head at the both of them.  
  
“Maybe it's because Jimin is smaller than you,” Eric replied, “makes you feel like you have to be nicer.”  
  
“Ah, hyung!” Jimin whined, and it didn't sound quite so annoying to Jinhwan this time. They stayed together and chatted for a bit longer before Jinhwan left to go find his friends and family. He accepted a hug from Eric before going, and the warm feeling in his chest followed him all the way up into the stands, where he was finally met with his group.  
  
Seiyeon was the first one to him again, and Jinhwan could tell from her eyes that she'd been crying. He was pretty sure they'd been happy tears, though.  
  
“Jinan-ie,” she kissed his cheek before wrapping him in a hug, “I'm so proud of you! I can't believe how good you are!”  
  
“Thanks, noona!” Jinhwan replied, kissing her back.  
  
“Junhoe explained the moves to me during the match,” Seiyeon said, “it was really helpful! It's hard to understand what's going on a lot of the time.”  
  
Jinhwan looked at Junhoe, who just tried to shrug it off. “Ah, it was no problem! I wanted to make sure she knew how good you really are.”  
  
“Okay I just have to ask one thing,” Hanbin interrupted, reaching out to lay his hand across Junhoe's forehead, “are you well?”  
  
Junhoe batted his arm away. “What? Of course! Can I not do something nice without you questioning it?”  
  
“You're never this nice, though! You don't even explain moves to your own sister!”  
  
“That's what you're supposed to do when she comes to watch me!”  
  
“You don't have some ulterior motive, do you? I'm just concerned.” Hanbin caught the punch that Junhoe tried to hit his arm with, laughing as they struggled with each other.  
  
Bobby looked at Jinhwan, sharing a grin as they shook their heads. “Why do I feel like we're the parents, taking our kids out for the day?” Bobby teased.  
  
Hanbin abandoned his struggles with Junhoe to turn around and face Bobby. “Does that day out include you buying us dinner?” Hanbin grinned mischievously at Bobby, who knew what he was hinting at.  
  
“Not if I can help it!” Bobby replied, but it was starting to look more and more like Hanbin might just win their bet. Bobby wasn't even really sure if he should be trying to win. Maybe he just ought to accept the loss and help Hanbin set them up. It looked like it was going to happen anyway, given how close they were getting. He was still surprised at how close they'd been during the weekend, especially after Junhoe's semi-final loss.  
  
Was it really mutual attraction? Or just friendship that was developing a little more rapidly on the mat? Maybe he'd have to ask Jinhwan for an update on his feelings. He'd leave Junhoe to Hanbin.


	20. Muscle Memory

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Junhoe has always been terrible at asking for help.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so at one point Jinhwan mentions a violinist he's got concert tickets to go and see and he shows a video of the guy. I just wanted to link you guys to the video because it's gorgeous and beautiful and this dude is legit stunning: [Amadéus Leopold](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qDMroQPW53g).
> 
> Apart from that, JunHwan is FINALLY about to get underway soon... Thank you to everyone who has been so patient. 20 chapters. 100,000+ words. Saints, all of you. ;)

“I want to ask you something, but you have to be serious about it, okay? This isn't a joke.”  
  
Hanbin looked up from his phone, casting a concerned look at his best friend. “Okay, I promise I'll give you a serious answer.”  
  
Junhoe hesitated before asking, giving himself a final moment to decide whether or not this planned course of action might just be a big mistake. “After this weekend I've been doing some thinking,” he began, keeping his gaze on Hanbin, “I feel like for the first time I've really been tested with jiu jitsu. I mean, I know it's not the first match I've lost, but something feels different. Maybe it's because I was at a lower level, so it's not like my losses before were by really impressive and flashy moves or anything, you know? But I'm at a higher level now, doing harder stuff, and I just feel like I'm lacking something.”  
  
Hanbin nodded, setting his phone down on the table. “That makes sense, Seungri told you that fighting at purple would feel different, didn't he? You'd get a wider array of fighting styles, and you'd face guys who were much better fighters.”  
  
Junhoe nodded, though he'd forgotten Seungri's advice. Hanbin had a good memory for that sort of thing, though. “Well, as good as I felt about fighting Jimin, and I know I fought a better fight that time, I still feel like he was better than me at certain things. Like I really had to think hard about what I was doing, but he seemed like it was more natural to him? I watched the match back a few times and I feel like he fought more calmly than I did.”  
  
“Did you mention it to your coach?”  
  
Junhoe nodded, but he looked a little troubled. “I did, but I guess he couldn't really see it the same way. He thinks I've just lost a bit of confidence in myself.”  
  
Hanbin was a little surprised at Junhoe's chosen topic of discussion. It wasn't often that Junhoe willingly brought up serious matters himself. “Well, you kind of have, haven't you? You told me you were nervous about fighting Jinhwan because you thought he'd beat you.”  
  
“Sure, I said that, but that's not a confidence thing. I know I'm still a good fighter, but I have a lot to learn at this stage. You can still be confident even if you know you're probably going to lose to someone, right? Just because someone is better than me, that doesn't mean that I'm not good.”  
  
Hanbin tried to keep himself from smiling too much. This was so strange to hear out of Junhoe's mouth. “You have a point.”  
  
Junhoe nodded, feeling a little better about the discussion with Hanbin's reaction so far. “Anyway, back to Jimin, it was so obvious to me the more I watched the match back. I would always pause for a second to figure out what I should do, but he never did. He just seemed to go for things.”  
  
“You used to fight like that too, so are you sure it's not just a confidence thing?” Hanbin asked.  
  
“No, the difference is that I wasn't always concerned with doing the smart thing, I would do the dominant thing. But Jimin always did the smart thing, every single time. He never made a bad choice, and with as many good choices as I've made in my past matches, I used to make a lot of bad ones too. Sometimes I'd get lucky and my opponent wouldn't capitalize on them, but that doesn't hide the fact that I made them, you know?” Junhoe was certain he was right. If he wanted to really improve, then he needed to put his pride aside and look at the hard facts. When things were going your way, it was easy to overlook your mistakes. But when things stopped going your way, that's when you really had to buckle down and take a long hard look at everything.  
  
Hanbin thought it was an interesting discussion for Junhoe to be having. He wasn't really the type who liked to admit to mistakes, preferring quiet correction without drawing any attention to the wrongdoing. But for him to admit out loud that he was lacking in certain ways... Hanbin was curious about the reason. “So what exactly did you want to ask me about, then?”  
  
Junhoe was relieved that Hanbin had taken this all seriously so far, and he hoped he wouldn't laugh when Junhoe told him what he was thinking of doing. Junhoe didn't mind Hanbin's teasing the majority of the time, but something about this was making him feel vulnerable, and it wasn't something he was used to feeling. So he met Hanbin's gaze and held it for a moment, and when he saw only serious concern in Hanbin's expression he finally spoke.  
  
“I was thinking of asking Jinhwan if we could train together.”  
  
There—he'd said it. It was out, and it felt weird. Junhoe almost felt a little awkward suggesting it, like it wasn't a serious option.  
  
Hanbin was shocked, but ultimately pleased and even just a little proud. Asking someone for help was not something that came easily to Junhoe. Even after all their years of friendship, Hanbin still sometimes had to bully Junhoe into letting him help him with certain things. It was just Junhoe's stubborn insecure pride. Hanbin wanted to promote this sort of thinking so he gave Junhoe a soft smile as he answered.  
  
“I think that's actually a really good idea.”  
  
“Do you?” Junhoe asked him, relieved Hanbin hadn't laughed at him, but also curious to know why he agreed. Mostly Junhoe was just seeking validation for his decision, and Hanbin always thought about things in an intelligent manner so Junhoe trusted his opinion.  
  
“Oh, for sure. He was amazing on the weekend, his fights were really impressive. Everyone could see it, watching him. He stood out. But really, though, you're the one who would know best, because you've fought him. You know more than anyone if he's better than you are. If you think you can learn something from him, then go for it.”  
  
“Do you think he'd want to?” Junhoe asked, and that was really his biggest concern. Would Jinhwan actually _want_ to help him? If there was any chance of Jinhwan saying no, than Junhoe didn't even want to bother asking. There was only so much his pride could handle at one time, and asking for help was already taxing enough. Rejection would probably have him hiding his head in the sand for a week.  
  
“Do you think he won't?” Hanbin asked, a little surprised that Junhoe was even contemplating rejection.  
  
“I don't know,” Junhoe shrugged, struggling to find a way to voice what he was feeling, “we're still competitors, so maybe it would be weird? We're not at the same club, it might be awkward.”  
  
“But he's said before that he really enjoys training people, right? He likes helping the kids at his club.”  
  
Junhoe glared at him for that comment. “So you're comparing me to some little kid white belt now?”  
  
Hanbin shook his head. “No, idiot! He likes helping people who _need_ his help. You need his help. Why would he say no? I think, if anything, he'd be excited, right? Probably feel like it's a huge compliment, coming from you.”  
  
Junhoe frowned, trying his best to tamper down the nerves that were unsettling his stomach. “I don't know, I mean I think so, but—”  
  
“But you'd be embarrassed if he said no.” Hanbin answered, grinning when he saw Junhoe's expression confirm his suspicions. “What's more important to you? Getting help from someone who you think can help you, or being embarrassed for a day because you get turned down?”  
  
As much as Junhoe needed to have the discussion drawn out like this, he still felt humiliated by it already. “I hear what you're saying. It's just, ah fuck, Hanbin. You know I'm shit at asking people for help.”  
  
Hanbin laughed at that point. “Understatement of the year. But you brought it up, so you're going to do it. Tonight, actually.” Junhoe shook his head in protest but Hanbin just grinned and picked up his phone. “I'm gonna text Bobby and set something up for after school.”  
  
“Hanbin, no, I think I should think about this a little more--”  
  
“No fucking way. The longer you think about it, the less inclined you'll be to do it. I know you, I know how your brain works. You're asking him tonight, and if you don't do it, I'll do it for you.”  
  
“The fuck you will!” Junhoe replied, bristling in irritation.  
  
Hanbin grinned at his outburst. This was one of those moments when he unashamedly bullied Junhoe into doing something he didn't want to do. “Why don't I text him right now?” He met Junhoe's gaze. “ _Hey Jinhwan hyung, Junhoe really wants to learn some jiu jitsu moves from you, but he's too much of a chickenshit to ask. Can you subtly suggest it yourself when we meet up after school?”_  
  
“Fuck off, Hanbin,” Junhoe replied, falling for it the way he always fell for it, “I'll fucking ask him myself, okay? Do whatever you have to do to get him out. Don't say a word to him though.”  
  
Hanbin rolled his eyes and started typing a message to Bobby. “Sure, Junhoe, whatever you say. I'll believe it when I see it.”  
  
“I'll fucking do it!” Junhoe replied, and it wasn't until an hour later, when he was sitting in science class, that he realized that Hanbin had somehow managed to talk him into agreeing. He couldn't back out now, either. If he did, then Hanbin would pounce on the opportunity. He would just have to suck it up and ask Jinhwan.

* * *

  
They were sitting outside a little cafe in Hongdae, iced coffees for Jinhwan and Junhoe, milkshakes for Hanbin and Bobby, discussing the merits of open world RPG style video games versus linear first person shooters. Bobby had just started playing the new Fallout game recently, and Jinhwan was teasing him for wanting to spend so much time on it.  
  
Junhoe had gotten up to head for the bathroom as Bobby started discussing the merit points of formulating relationships in video games when Jinhwan suddenly interrupted him mid-sentence.  
  
“Oh my god,” Jinhwan gasped, eyes on his phone, mouth wide in shock.  
  
“What?” Bobby asked, annoyed with his dramatic interruption. Sometimes Jinhwan did it for the dumbest reasons, just to draw attention to himself when he had nothing substantial to add to a discussion.  
  
“Seiyeon just messaged me,” Jinhwan began explaining, “as a gift for winning this weekend, she just got us tickets to go and see our favourite violinist!”  
  
Bobby groaned and rolled his eyes. “Wow, so exciting, so worthy of interrupting someone mid-way through a sentence!”  
  
“No, you don't get it! This guy,” Jinhwan paused for a moment, looking longingly at his phone screen, “Seiyeon and I both love him. He's gorgeous!”  
  
“Jinan, keep it in your pants.” Bobby teased, kicking him under the table.  
  
“Okay, fine, Bobby you won't care anyway, but Hanbin! You would _love_ this guy!” Jinhwan finally looked up from his phone, meeting Hanbin's curious expression. “Trust me, he goes by the name Amadéus Leopold--”  
  
“Seriously?” Hanbin asked, voice heavy with skepticism. “That's his stage name?”  
  
Jinhwan brushed his complaint aside. “With the way he plays and looks, he can call himself whatever the fuck he wants. Here, just watch this video and you'll flip out, I guarantee it!” Jinhwan cued up a video and passed his phone to Hanbin, who was a little more intrigued with Jinhwan's description.  
  
“Jinan, my boyfriend is already nerdy enough, could you please stop?” Bobby teased. He hadn't ever heard Jinhwan mention this violin player before (and he wasn't that interested, really) but the second he heard Hanbin gasp Bobby's attention was focused on the screen.  
  
“Oh my god,” Hanbin whispered, pausing the video to look at Jinhwan, “you weren't kidding.”  
  
“Right?!” Jinhwan practically squealed in reply, excited that Hanbin shared his interest. “His show was sold out a minute after tickets went on sale, I've been dying to see him! I don't know how she got tickets but I can't believe it!”  
  
“He might just be the prettiest man on the planet,” Hanbin replied, unpausing the video only to pause it again a few seconds later. “I mean his face--”  
  
“The bone structure, right? His cheekbones kill me!” Jinhwan replied, stamping his feet on the floor.  
  
Bobby rolled his eyes and slumped back in his seat. “He's a little _too_ pretty, in my opinion. I mean, look at all the makeup he's got on! He looks so feminine.”  
  
“Well yeah, that's why I said he's the _prettiest_ man on the planet, and not the most handsome!” Hanbin replied, before teasingly nuzzling Bobby's chin. Bobby pushed him away though, and when Hanbin just grinned and started watching the video again, it made Bobby feel irritated.  
  
“Don't be jealous!” Jinhwan shot back at him, grinning when Bobby gave himself away in his expression. “It's okay, Bobby! There will always be someone in life way hotter than you. I'm sure this won't be the last guy Hanbin swoons over that isn't you.”  
  
Bobby was about to give a snappy response back, but Hanbin laughed at Jinhwan's comment, and it just ended up annoying him instead. Whatever. So Hanbin was into some pretty violin player, no big deal. It's not like he'd expected Hanbin to never comment about another guy again. It was some musician, not a guy in real life. There was no need for Bobby to feel threatened.  
  
“Okay you have to take this back otherwise I will sit here all night and keep replaying it.” Hanbin said, sliding Jinhwan's phone back to him. At that moment Junhoe returned.  
  
“Junhoe-ya! I know you've never heard of this guy either, so watch this video so you know who Hanbin is going to be rambling about all week.” Jinhwan teased, which made Hanbin laugh again and Bobby sulk. Junhoe's eyes widened as he watched the video.  
  
“I didn't think you were into pretty guys, Bin.” Junhoe replied after watching the video.  
  
“What do you mean? I've always liked pretty guys!” Hanbin replied.  
  
“Then why do you always date ugly ones?” Junhoe teased back, and they all laughed about it. Except for Bobby.  
  
“I don't date ugly guys!” Hanbin whined after he stopped laughing.  
  
“Well Bobby's not exactly pretty.” Jinhwan added, eyes on his best friend. Bobby seemed a little sulkier than Jinhwan would have expected.  
  
“Just because I like pretty looking guys, that doesn't mean they're the only type of guys I like!” Hanbin explained.  
  
“So we know you're not with Bobby for his looks, obviously not with him for his intelligence either, so what is keeping you hooked?” Jinhwan asked, grinning when Bobby glared at him.  
  
Hanbin turned to Bobby, smiling at him before letting his eyes trail down to his arms. “Muscles.”  
  
That made everyone laugh again, but Bobby just gave a fake grin, trying to keep his irritation tamped down. “You're dating me for my muscles? That's it?”  
  
“Well, your chest and your abs too.” Hanbin cheekily replied with a wink.  
  
Bobby shook his head and tried to push him away. He knew in the back of his mind that he was being an idiot right now, but he couldn't stop the feelings from surfacing. It had never been this bad, never hit him this hard that maybe, just _maybe,_ they weren't really a perfect match for each other. Or rather, maybe _he_ wasn't the perfect match for Hanbin.  
  
“Is that all?” Jinhwan prompted, still watching Bobby sulk about Hanbin's answers.  
  
“He's got a rugged, manly charm about him too!” Hanbin replied, teasingly cuddling up to his boyfriend again. Bobby once more tried to push him away but Hanbin was persistent, needling his way in without realizing that Bobby was actually upset over it. Hanbin kissed his chin before staring up at him with a cute expression. “Oppaaaa-” he teasingly whined into Bobby's ear.  
  
“Oh god, disgusting!” Junhoe said, kicking Hanbin under the table. “Take your lewd behaviour somewhere else!”  
  
“Maybe I will!” Hanbin shot back, winking at Junhoe before turning back to Bobby. “I want another churro, let's go get one!”  
  
“Go get it yourself.” Bobby sulkily replied, not budging when Hanbin stood up.  
  
“Hyung!” Hanbin whined, pushing him towards the edge of his seat. “Come and buy me one!”  
  
“Buy it yourself!” Bobby snapped back, crossing his arms over his chest. “You just spent the past few minutes gushing over how hot some other guy is, and you want me to buy you dessert now?” Bobby tried his best to sound like he was joking, even though he wasn't.  
  
Hanbin bought the act. “Okay fine. I'll buy you one!” Hanbin said with a laugh.  
  
“Oh go with him, Bobby!” Jinhwan huffed in irritation, but it was just for show. He could tell Bobby was still annoyed.  
  
“Ugh, fine! You're all against me!” Bobby replied, glaring at Jinhwan and Junhoe.  
  
“I didn't even say anything!” Junhoe added, laughing as he watched Hanbin struggling against Bobby.  
  
“Guilty by association!” Bobby replied, grinning when it at least made the others laugh. But then he finally relented and stood up, and even though he wanted to stay annoyed, he couldn't help but smile softly when Hanbin stood next to him and looped his arms around Bobby's back, cuddling into his side as he led him away from their table.  
  
He really had it bad for Hanbin.  
  
“Okay, so I don't actually want another churro,” Hanbin quickly started to explain, “I just needed to give Junhoe some time alone with Jinhwan.”  
  
“What? Why?” Bobby looked down at him, a frown creasing his face.  
  
“Junhoe wanted to ask him something.” Hanbin replied with a smug look, and Bobby pulled them to a stop.  
  
“He's not asking him out, is he?” Bobby asked, sighing in relief when Hanbin shook his head.  
  
“Not yet! I'm sure that'll come soon enough.” Hanbin replied, grinning when Bobby's arm tightened around his shoulder.  
  
“Not on my watch!” Bobby said.  
  
“He's asking Jinhwan if they can train together.”  
  
Bobby whined at the explanation. “Ah, really? That's almost as bad!”  
  
Hanbin laughed victoriously before pulling Bobby along. “Yeah, it's only a matter of time, now!”  
  
Bobby groaned, but secretly he thought it was nice, if not a little surprising. Junhoe hadn't struck him as the type to do something like that.  
  
“So, hyung, I don't want a churro, but there is something that I do kind of want.” Hanbin said, grinning slyly back at Bobby as he pulled him towards the empty alleyway that ran along the back of a ramen shop near where they'd been sitting.  
  
Bobby's interest was piqued at Hanbin's comment. “Oh? And what's that?”  
  
Hanbin was quiet until they passed a stack of crates that was just tall enough to hide them from view. Without warning he pushed Bobby up against the wall and leaned in against him, his tongue pushing its way into Bobby's mouth.  
  
Bobby's hands slid from Hanbin's waist down to his ass, squeezing as he pulled Hanbin in against him. When Hanbin's groin connected with Bobby's leg, Bobby grinned in triumph. Hanbin was already half hard, just from kissing him. Even though they were out in public Bobby decided to be a little mean. Just to make Hanbin pay for ogling the stupid violinist.  
  
He slid one of his hands in between Hanbin's legs, squeezing Hanbin's dick until it made his boyfriend gasp.  
  
“Hyung!” Hanbin hissed, half in censure and half in pleasure.  
  
“Mm? Something bothering you?” Bobby asked, staring Hanbin in the eyes and squeezing his hand again.  
  
Hanbin smiled and squirmed a little in his arms before leaning forward again to kiss him. Bobby moved his other hand from Hanbin's ass up to his neck, his fingers reaching up to rub at the buzzed hair at the base of Hanbin's skull. While Hanbin was distracted by the kissing, Bobby slipped his hand inside Hanbin's pants, grabbing him again through only his underwear.  
  
“Hyung!” Hanbin hissed again, pulling his face back. His expression was pure excitement, though. “Would you quit it?”  
  
Bobby gave him a clueless look. “What, I can't touch you anymore? I thought you liked it.”  
  
Hanbin grinned and leaned his face into Bobby's neck. “Yeah, but we're out in public!”  
  
“You're the one who pulled me down here,” Bobby replied, rubbing his hand until Hanbin was fully hard. Hanbin squirmed again and his breath hitched a little in his throat, and Bobby thought it was the hottest thing he'd ever heard.  
  
“I just wanted a kiss,” Hanbin replied, though it was clear from the way that he was slowly pushing against Bobby's hand that he was more than okay with what they were doing, “you're so mean.”  
  
“I'm mean, and you're mine.” Bobby replied darkly, and Hanbin kissed him again. All of Bobby's insecurities of earlier were chased back down his throat by Hanbin's tongue. So what if Hanbin thought some pretty little violin player was hot? Hanbin was still into Bobby, _really_ into Bobby if this was any indication. Bobby couldn't care less about some stupid violinist. He was irrelevant.

* * *

  
Jinhwan had watched Hanbin and Bobby walk away with a bit of concern, worried about how jealous Bobby seemed to be getting over Hanbin's reaction to the violinist. Maybe he ought to talk to him about it, because Bobby wasn't really the jealous type (or maybe he'd just never dated someone he cared about enough before to be jealous over). But for now his more pressing concern was sitting right next to him. “Alright, obviously you need to ask me something, because that was a pretty awkwardly handled dragging off. So, out with it.”  
  
Junhoe was surprised at Jinhwan's bluntness, and he took a deep breath before asking, steeling himself for whatever Jinhwan’s response would be. He wasn’t used to opening himself up like this, wasn’t used to asking someone else for help (at least not someone like Jinhwan, someone who wasn’t that far off from where he was, someone who wasn’t that much older than him).  
  
“Well, I was thinking, you know after this weekend, I’ve just thought a lot about things. Ah, this is tough, I’m sorry. But, well, you and Jimin both beat me the same way, and it got me thinking, maybe there’s something wrong with the way I’m training?” Saying it felt like pulling his own teeth out, it was so awkward and painful. But it was out, and now all he had to do was wait.  
  
Jinhwan looked at him in surprise, not expecting the direction he’d ended up going in. Was Junhoe asking him what he thought he was asking him?  
  
“Do you want to train together some time?” Jinhwan came out and asked, smiling when Junhoe nodded.  
  
He felt relieved that Jinhwan offered, relieved that he hadn't just been laughed at. “I don’t know, maybe it’s just because you’re both short, and I don’t have anyone that small at the club to practice with. But I feel like you both kept getting out of holds because my grip was off? And well, that stupid spider guard got me both times.”  
  
Jinhwan grinned. “It did, didn’t it? I guess, since I’ll be going for my brown belt soon, I might as well share some of my secrets with you. It’s only fair.”  
  
Junhoe was grateful he’d agreed to it, but he also couldn’t help but feel slightly embarrassed at having asked. Whatever. He didn’t need to feel weird! It was intelligent, asking Jinhwan for help. He could train with Seungri, but it wasn’t the same. Seungri was bigger than Jinhwan, but his fighting style was completely different, it was more similar to Junhoe’s. Junhoe had trouble specifically when it came to fighting smaller opponents. So it only made sense that he should train with smaller opponents.  
  
“So when do you want to start? And where? Do you want to come to my club? Will your trainers be pissed?” Jinhwan asked.  
  
Junhoe shrugged. “I don’t know, I don’t think so? I mean, it’s not like I think my training is lacking. But everyone at my club is taller, like it’s weird when I think about it. The only guys who are close to your size are like, kids.” Junhoe couldn’t help but laugh when he thought about it, especially when Jinhwan frowned and hit his arm.  
  
“Okay, god, you don’t need to insult me!”  
  
“I’m not! I’m just being honest.” Junhoe grinned and laughed again, which only prompted Jinhwan to hit him again. But he was smiling, so Junhoe knew he wasn’t really upset.  
  
“Okay, are you free on Wednesday? Do you want to start then?” Junhoe agreed on the day, so Jinhwan made sure to get his phone number so he could text him directions to his club.  
  
“Thanks, hyung. I appreciate you helping me out. I know it’s weird since we’re kind of competitors.”  
  
“No, I’m happy to help! I mean, we’re competitors, sure, but we’re also friends, right?” Jinhwan replied, and the almost shy way Junhoe smiled back had him feeling like maybe training together was going to be a really good thing? They’d finally get to interact one-on-one, without Hanbin and Bobby around.  
  
“Alright, so, Wednesday, then! I’m looking forward to it.”  
  
“Me too! I promise I’ll go easy on you the first time.” Jinhwan teased, and this time it was Junhoe’s turn to smack him playfully.

* * *

  
“Tighten up your hold,” Jinhwan instructed, looking in the mirror and adjusting Junhoe’s hand positioning, “you’re giving me too much room there, it’s barely any resistance at all.”  
  
Junhoe did as instructed, getting used to altering his hold based on Jinhwan’s smaller size. “It feels so weird, like I feel like I’m not holding it tight enough.”  
  
“Now that you say that, I wonder if maybe your problem isn’t that you can’t gauge a hold properly based on size, but that you’re not doing it that way at all? I feel like maybe you’re judging where you should grab based on your own arm span, if you know what I mean? Like muscle memory, this is how much space you normally have when you do this in training, because you always train with bigger guys? Like maybe you don’t actually focus on where your hands are based on your opponent, but you base them on where they are in relation to each other?” Jinhwan hoped Junhoe understood what he was trying to say.  
  
Junhoe took a moment to contemplate what Jinhwan was saying. Was it true, maybe? It certainly made sense. “I think you’re right,” he replied, “I think I always do kind of default to the same spot regardless of who I’m fighting.”  
  
“Okay so pay attention to that this time. Let’s start over. Try and ignore what your body’s telling you to do, and think about it instead. You know what to do, you just need to learn how to switch it up for someone smaller.” They untangled themselves and got back into a guard position, Junhoe on his back and Jinhwan on top.  
  
Junhoe really hoped that Jinhwan had figured out his problem. Not that he liked the idea of _having_ a problem, but better to pinpoint it if it did exist and learn how to overcome it. It was just weird that it was something no one else had picked up on before. Then again, maybe it was hard to figure something out if you didn’t experience it first hand, or if you didn’t make the right sort of comment that prompted the right sort of comment in return.  
  
This time when he went for his hold, he focused on what he was doing instead of going from memory, looking at the placement of his hands on Jinhwan’s leg. It felt weird when he clamped it in, he felt like he didn’t have enough power on it. But Jinhwan tapped out after a few seconds.  
  
“You definitely had it in the right spot that time,” Jinhwan said, “it wasn’t very strong and I could have gotten out, but your placement was perfect. How come you didn’t have it tight?”  
  
“Ah, honestly it felt weird? I think I just need to practice holding it like that. I think you were right though, I’m just doing everything based on muscle memory from training. I think once I figure out how to keep it tight I’ll be fine.”  
  
Jinhwan grinned back at him. “Great, so I take it this means that you want to spend the next half hour working out how to hold it tightly on me?”  
  
“Pretty much, yeah?” Junhoe answered, grinning when Jinhwan frowned.  
  
“I guess I shouldn’t complain, I have been kind of lonely lately.” He winked at Junhoe before getting back into position for him.  
  
“Would it help if I promised to take you for dinner after?” Junhoe joked back.  
  
“Well, I mean, I suppose I could do it out of the goodness of my heart, but who would say no to dinner, right?” Jinhwan replied. In all honesty, he was just happy that he’d managed to figure out Junhoe’s problem right away. This was part of what he really loved about helping to train others. He really liked being able to figure out a problem that was evading other people. It made him feel like this was indeed his calling.  
  
They practised that particular hold for a little while before switching to leg locks, where he once again helped Junhoe figure out how to adjust his holds properly. Jinhwan was a little surprised at how easily Junhoe seemed to take to his advice. Even after getting to know him, Junhoe had struck him as the type who would bristle when it came to someone pointing out that he was doing something wrong. Not that there was anything wrong with that (because no one liked having their mistakes pointed out so openly) but Junhoe didn’t seem bothered at all with every little correction Jinhwan made.  
  
Junhoe himself was surprised as well. He didn’t take criticism well, and usually had to struggle more to accept it with a calm expression. But for some reason having Jinhwan point out what he was doing wrong was easy. Maybe it was because Jinhwan had beaten him already, and Junhoe accepted that Jinhwan was just _better_ than he was? He couldn’t pretend to be a better fighter than Jinhwan, because he’d already been tested and lost twice (three times, maybe, since he’d lost to Jimin, who had gone on to lose to Jinhwan).  
  
Whatever it was he was happy, because this practice session really was useful. He felt like this was a problem he would need to unlock and master before he could really hope to advance. He knew how to do the moves properly, but actually applying them effectively was a whole other thing he had to learn, as Jinhwan was teaching him now.

* * *

  
After three different training sessions, Junhoe was seeing improvement. Adjusting his holds based on his opponent’s body size didn’t feel so awkward anymore. Jinhwan was teaching him how to properly do a spider guard now, correcting technique. Junhoe still couldn’t manage to get out of it when Jinhwan had it on him, but he wasn’t bothered yet. After realizing how much more experienced Jinhwan was in jiu jitsu, Junhoe didn’t feel as threatened by him anymore.  
  
Instead he just felt grateful. Jinhwan didn’t have to help him. Even though they were friends, Jinhwan didn’t owe him anything. Yet here he was, a week later, still going out of his way to help Junhoe become better. What could he possibly be getting out of it? Junhoe wasn’t sure, but he appreciated it just the same.  
  
“Okay so you’re doing a lot better with your adjustments now,” Jinhwan told him one day, “so I have an idea that might help even more. It’s something I used to do with Eric, actually.”  
  
“Oh yeah? What’s that?” Junhoe was intrigued at the mention of Eric.  
  
“Sparring while blindfolded.” Jinhwan answered, grinning when Junhoe’s expression went slack with shock. “Trust me, it really helps! It’ll be awkward at first, because you’re so used to doing everything based on sight. But when you take that away, you learn how to judge things based on your other senses, and believe me, you see improvements right away. Because you can’t always see everything properly, right? Like when you want to go for a reversal, you just have to trust that your opponent’s body is going to be where you want it. Doing it all blindfolded gives you the same sense.”  
  
Junhoe had never heard of sparring while blindfolded before. “Is this really a thing?” He asked, not against the idea, just surprised at it.  
  
“I’m serious, why do you think I’m so confident all the time when I’m fighting? Part of that is letting your body learn how to naturally sense your opponent. It’s the same as when you were doing everything out of sheer muscle memory. Now that you’re learning how to adjust properly, I think it’ll be a good way to test how you’re really doing. Because you need to trust that your body is retraining itself properly, and that you won’t just do everything the way you did it before.”  
  
“If you’re sure,” Junhoe replied, feeling a little weird about the idea. But he trusted that Jinhwan knew what he was doing, so if Jinhwan wanted to do this, then Junhoe would go along with him.  
  
“I’m totally sure, trust me, it’ll be good.” Jinhwan had been just as skeptical of it when Eric had proposed it the first time, but it had done wonders for his understanding of spatial awareness. Of course, it had also kind of been the catalyst for their blossoming relationship, but he didn’t need to divulge that part to Junhoe. They were different people, in different situations.  
  
“Okay. Are we going to start today?” Junhoe asked, curious about it.  
  
“No, we’ll do it next time. We’re almost done for tonight, anyway.”  
  
“Alright.” Junhoe was excited to try something new, even if he was still a little wary of it. Jinhwan's help had already improved his fighting. This would undoubtedly help too.

* * *

  
It was almost nine when Junhoe got to Hanbin’s. He let himself in, kicking his shoes off at the door and proceeding down the hallway to Hanbin’s room.  
  
“Hey, Bin!” He greeted as he entered the room, dropping down on the floor.  
  
“How’d the date go?” Hanbin teased, moving his leg before Junhoe had a chance to lash out at him.  
  
_“_ _Training_ is going really well, thanks for asking,” Junhoe replied, “honestly I actually am learning a lot from him.”  
  
“Oh yeah? Learning about anything more than just jiu jitsu?” Hanbin couldn’t help but tease him.  
  
“Seriously bro, shut up! It’s not like that. He’s helped me figure out a lot of things I’ve been doing wrong, it’s useful.” He decided not to mention Jinhwan’s idea of blindfolded sparring. Hanbin would definitely tease him about it.  
  
“Okay, fine, I’ll take your word for it.” Hanbin reached for a set of papers on his desk, handing them to Junhoe. “Here’s your history essay back, by the way. Don’t be afraid of all the red, I just want you to have the best mark possible.”  
  
Junhoe groaned and flipped through the essay. “Can’t you just send me the digital file so I don’t have to re-type all of your corrections out?” Junhoe whined, not looking forward to fixing everything.  
  
“Absolutely not! All you’ll do is change the colour back to black and delete wrong things. How are you going to learn how to write a better essay if you don’t correct your mistakes yourself? That would be like Jinhwan fighting your fights for you, and you just watching.” Hanbin hoped the jiu jitsu comparison would make Junhoe see the importance.  
  
“Okay sure, but the difference is that I care about jiu jitsu. I don’t give a single fuck about this history paper.” He grinned back at him, amused when Hanbin glared at him.  
  
“You better fix that paper! I spent two hours on it making corrections!” Hanbin was _not_ going to send him the digital version (wasn’t even going to tell him there _was_ a digital version, because he certainly did _not_ keep a folder full of revised Junhoe essays to track his best friend’s progress with his writing).  
  
“Relax, I’ll fix it! Can’t have you wasting your time on me for nothing.” Junhoe grinned.  
  
Hanbin shook his head and watched as Junhoe slid the paper into his bag. “So how is training with Jinhwan, really? Are you getting along or you too insulted every time he tries to correct something?”  
  
Junhoe grinned, because Hanbin knew him perfectly. “Nah, believe it or not, it actually doesn’t bother me when he corrects me? Which I know, is really fucking weird for me. I think it’s because he’s so much better than I am? Like, he’s going for his brown belt soon, and I haven’t even been a purple for six months yet. Training with him is like training with Seungri.”  
  
“But you’re a little bitch to Seungri half the time!” Hanbin replied, laughing when Junhoe grinned.  
  
“True, but I’ve known Seungri longer. He’s like a real brother! I harass him mostly out of brotherly necessity.”  
  
“Bullshit, I’ve seen you! Sometimes you get seriously annoyed when he corrects your form.” Hanbin grinned at the remark as he made it, and Junhoe waved him off.  
  
“Okay, fine, whatever! I haven’t been like that with Jinhwan hyung, I don’t know. I mean, I’ve never actually fought Seungri at a tournament? So maybe that’s the difference. Jinhwan beat me twice, so I can’t deny he’s better than me.”  
  
“Wow, I still can’t believe you’re actually able to admit that out loud without cringing! Who is this impostor, and what has he done with my best friend?” Hanbin teased.  
  
“Oh shut up! Shouldn’t you be happy? We’re not stressing you and Bobby out anymore?” Junhoe replied.  
  
“Oh I am happy! Happier than you know, really.” Hanbin teased. “I’m glad you guys are finally able to hang out by yourselves without adult supervision.”  
  
“Yeah speaking of that, how are you and Bobby? Been enjoying all the potential for alone time now that I’ve been out of your hair?” Junhoe teased back. To his surprise, Hanbin actually blushed at the question.  
  
“Yeah, it’s been good.” Hanbin did not want to talk about this with Junhoe.  
  
“Anything exciting to report?” Junhoe asked, amused when Hanbin seemed reluctant to talk. While they’d talked about their past relationships before, they’d never really gone into great detail about what they had (or hadn’t) done with their boyfriends. It wasn’t something they talked about often.  
  
“Nope, not really.” Not for lack of want, of course. He and Bobby had made out a few times, but it hadn’t really gone past kissing and a few stolen moments of groping. It was hard to do much else when your parents were home.  
  
“Wow, you’re boring.” Junhoe couldn’t help but tease him.  
  
“You’re not exactly one to talk, okay? At least I’m dating someone, and he’s not too religious for a little fun.” While Junhoe’s ex had been a great guy, and Junhoe had been happy with the relationship, they hadn’t really done anything exciting in the four months they’d dated. They’d barely even had a proper kiss. They’d broken up when his ex’s family had gone to United States as part of their church’s mission group.  
  
Whatever. Junhoe hadn’t really been ready for anything serious at that time anyway.  
  
He was kind of ready for something now, probably. Maybe. If someone good enough came along. Maybe if Taewoon, his closeted classmate, finally came out… Junhoe would date him. He was still keeping tabs on him, and he was certain more than ever that Taewoon really was gay, and Junhoe was sure he was trying to fight off an interest in him. Slow but steady, and he’d probably win that race.  
  
“I’m just holding out for someone good, alright? You found Bobby, so let me find someone too. Well, good for _my_ standards, which are much higher than yours.” Junhoe grinned when Hanbin glared at him.  
  
“You have someone good that’s already in your life, you know.” Hanbin replied.  
  
“I know, but Taewoon’s still in the closet. I think he’s giving me signals though? Like I catch him staring at me all the time.” Junhoe was surprised when Hanbin shook his head.  
  
“I’m not talking about Taewoon, you idiot!”  
  
“Then who?” Junhoe asked, wondering who else Hanbin might be referring to.  
  
“What do you mean, who?” Hanbin was shocked—was Junhoe _really_ not seeing what was right in front of him? “Jinhwan!”  
  
Hanbin’s answer almost felt like a slap across the face.  
  
“ _Jinhwan?_ You think I should date _Jinhwan?”_ Was Hanbin serious?  
  
Okay, time to be careful… “I didn’t say you _should_ date him. But if you’re just waiting around for an awesome guy, who’s really attractive and has a great personality and you know, is experienced, which someone like you really needs, then I’m just saying… Jinhwan kinda sounds like your guy, right? And he’s out, so you won’t have to worry about dating some dude who wants to stay in the closet.”  
  
Junhoe frowned. “Jinhwan, though?” Okay, so Jinhwan _was_ attractive. But was Hanbin crazy? They were finally friends, good friends, and Hanbin wanted him to potentially ruin that by dating him? He had to be joking.  
  
“His family likes you, Junhoe! Seiyeon thinks you’re great, for some reason, I guess she has low standards too.” Hanbin grinned at him. “I’m just saying, maybe don’t shut that door before you really look through it?”  
  
“Respectfully, Hanbin, that door isn’t even open. Jinhwan and I are totally not a possibility. No chance. I mean, what would happen if we did try, and it didn’t work out? You wanna go back to us not being friends again?”  
  
“So don’t fuck it up?” Hanbin teased. Okay, time to back off a bit. If he pushed him too hard, nothing would happen just out of spite. “Look, forget I said anything. Go back to dropping crumbs for Taewoon to lead him out of the straight woods.”  
  
Junhoe laughed at the comment. “What the fuck are you talking about?”  
  
“You know, like Hansel and Gretel?”  
  
“Who?”  
  
Hanbin looked at him in surprise. “The fairy tale! These parents didn’t want their kids anymore and took them into the woods to abandon them, but the kids laid a trail of breadcrumbs so they could find their way back home.”  
  
Junhoe looked at Hanbin in horror. “What the fuck kind of story is that?”  
  
“It’s a fairy tale, I read it to Hanbyul!”  
  
“That’s a _kid’s story?”_ Junhoe replied, shocked.  
  
“Yeah, it’s one of her favourites.” Okay, so maybe it sounded worse when he didn’t mention the house made out of candy…  
  
“I feel like I should report you for child abuse.” Junhoe joked.  
  
Hanbin rolled his eyes and swatted Junhoe's leg. “Anyway, the point is, keep trying with Taewoon, and maybe he’ll come around after another year or two. Then you can both enter your adult years as virgins.” Hanbin laughed when Junhoe blushed.  
  
“Oh shut up!”  
  
“I’m just worried about you wasting the best years of your life,” Hanbin teased again, “it’s all downhill after twenty!”  
  
“Oh quit it! Like you’re one to talk anyway? Or has Bobby made you a man already?”  
  
Hanbin just grinned back at him. “Not yet, but it’s only a matter of time.”  
  
Junhoe rolled his eyes and sat back. Whatever. Hanbin could talk all the shit he wanted. Just because he wasn’t sure if Taewoon was gay or not, didn’t mean he should abandon all hope. Even with Jinhwan there. Besides, why was Hanbin so sure it was a viable option anyway? Just because they were both gay, it didn’t mean they were a good match. Or that they wanted each other. If Jinhwan was interested, wouldn’t he have made a move by now?  
  
Not worth the hassle. They were getting along. That was all that Junhoe cared about. He wanted Jinhwan to keep helping him train. Something would probably get fucked up if they started messing around with each other.  
  
That sort of thing never ended well.  
  
No point in even thinking about it.


	21. Blindfolds and Blindsides

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jinhwan and Bobby have an important chat about Bobby's feelings. Jinhwan and Junhoe have their blindfolded sparring session.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hanbin's not in this chapter except for a brief mention. Also—blindfolded sparring session! It's a little interesting, I guess? Let me know what you think. ;)

“How's training with Junhoe?”  
  
Jinhwan shovelled a spoonful of fried rice into his mouth before looking at Bobby and nodding. He took his time to chew and swallow before answering, because if Bobby wanted to start a conversation right in the middle of dinner, Jinhwan wasn't going to rush to answer him.  
  
“It's going well.” He answered, giving an annoyingly vague response.  
  
“Are you being nice to him?” Bobby asked.  
  
“Teaching isn't about being nice,” Jinhwan replied, “it's about being precise.”  
  
Bobby rolled his eyes at the answer. “You're not being an asshole to him, are you?”  
  
“I can't believe you'd accuse me of that,” Jinhwan playfully answered, “what do you think I am, a brat?”  
  
“Are you rhyming on purpose?” Bobby asked, huffing in irritation when Jinhwan simply smiled and took another big bite of rice. “Your rhymes are garbage, by the way.”  
  
“Your cooking skills are garbage too,” Jinhwan replied, “I hate it when your mom works late.”  
  
“Be grateful I made you food at all!” Bobby shot back, “I wasn't going to.”  
  
“You shouldn't have,” Jinhwan teased, “I mean it honestly, I might have to go get my stomach pumped.”  
  
“Well if you don't want it, don't eat it!” Bobby reached for his bowl but Jinhwan pulled it out of reach.  
  
“I'll take my chances!” He took another bite and kicked Bobby under the table. “So, how are things going with you and Hanbin?” Jinhwan asked, curious to grill Bobby about his weirdly jealous behaviour.  
  
“We're good,” Bobby answered, “why do you look like you think we're not?”  
  
Jinhwan shrugged. “I don't, I was just checking in. You just seem way more serious about Hanbin then you've been about anyone else before.” Jinhwan took another mouthful of rice, chewing while he watched Bobby contemplate a response.  
  
Bobby had discussed relationships with Jinhwan before, and he was right. Things with Hanbin were really serious compared to Bobby's previous boyfriends (if you could even call them that). But he wasn't sure if he was really ready to talk about it just yet. He was happy, but things still felt a little weird with Hanbin. Bobby sometimes felt a little too vulnerable. He was still trying to figure it all out.  
  
When Bobby didn't reply Jinhwan pressed on, curious more than ever. Bobby wasn't often quiet in discussions. “You act different with Hanbin; don't think I haven't noticed.”  
  
“Huh?” Bobby responded in confusion, wondering what exactly Jinhwan meant.  
  
“You've never been a jealous guy, not that I remember. But you have a bit of a jealous streak when it comes to Hanbin.” Jinhwan watched closely as Bobby reacted, amused when he seemed to disagree.  
  
“A what?” Bobby replied, surprised at Jinhwan's comment.  
  
Jinhwan grinned and scooped up more rice, waving the spoon in Bobby's direction before answering. “If he mentions other guys, you get annoyed and almost seem kind of angry.”  
  
Bobby frowned and shook his head. “Well, yeah. If you were dating a guy, would you want to hear him talk about other guys?”  
  
“But you never used to care,” Jinhwan replied, “in fact I remember, vividly, when you were dating Jinyoung and we were at Jiho's party and Jinyoung kept talking about how hot Wonho was. You told him that if he liked Wonho so much he should go and fuck him.” Jinhwan grinned. “Remember that?”  
  
“Your point?” Bobby replied (even though he knew Jinhwan's point and he was in no rush to agree with it).  
  
“My point is that the old Bobby I know would have sooner broken up with a guy than act jealous because he talked about someone else.” Jinhwan said, flashing Bobby a smug look.  
  
Bobby didn't really like where the conversation was going, but Jinhwan wasn't the type of person to back down from a discussion because it made someone else uncomfortable. “Yeah, well, none of those guys were serious, like you said.”  
  
Jinhwan was still grinning. “You're _in love_ with Hanbin, aren't you?”  
  
Bobby couldn't help but blush at Jinhwan's question. He'd never been in love with anyone before, had never wanted to be in love. He thought about his conversation with his brother, about admitting his feelings out loud for the first time. He hadn't thought about it again since then, and thinking about it now just made him feel vulnerable for some reason. “I don't know, it's a bit early--”  
  
“I honestly didn't think you'd fall in love for another few years, at least.” Jinhwan teasingly interrupted. “Not until after university and your mom started hassling you about settling down.”  
  
“Shut up,” Bobby whined, annoyed with Jinhwan for going there.  
  
“You're beyond whipped for Hanbin, though! God, Bobby, it's so cute.” Jinhwan could tell Bobby was getting embarrassed and he loved it. It was so rare to find a topic of conversation that had Bobby blushing.  
  
“Shut up, seriously!” Bobby just felt like punching him, though.  
  
“No really! Not to be crude, but like, is the sex that good?” Jinhwan teased, and when Bobby just looked at him and shrugged, Jinhwan's mouth dropped open in shock. “Hold on, are you saying--”  
  
“That I don't know? Yeah, I'm saying that.” God _why_ had Jinhwan gone here, and why was Bobby letting him? There was no way he could escape this conversation without Jinhwan prying more details than he had a right to.  
  
Jinhwan's face was slack with shock. “You haven't fucked him?”  
  
“Nope.”  
  
“For real?”  
  
Bobby glared at him, even though he knew why Jinhwan was surprised. “Why are you making it sound like that's weird?”  
  
“Because it is weird! For you.” Jinhwan grinned now that he was thinking about it, because this just proved that Bobby really was head over heels _in love_ with Hanbin, and Jinhwan approved wholeheartedly.  
  
“We just haven't had the opportunity--”  
  
“You've had plenty of opportunities--”  
  
“Someone's always been home--”  
  
“Since when has that stopped you? Hell, aren't you the same guy who boasted to me that he fucked Kenzo underneath the bleachers over spring break last year?” Jinhwan looked at Bobby with a smug expression, amused when Bobby's face turned beet red.  
  
“Your point?” Bobby replied with narrowed eyes, annoyed with Jinhwan pushing this far.  
  
“Has he even sucked your dick yet?” Jinhwan asked, and when Bobby's expression said it all (a resounding no) Jinhwan couldn't help but flick a spoonful of rice at Bobby's face. “Who are you?!”  
  
“JINAN!” Bobby roared in irritation, both at the comment and the rice.  
  
Jinhwan just laughed. “No really! I can't believe you're that in love with him! This is so cute!”  
  
Bobby grabbed his napkin to wipe the grains of rice from his cheek. “I'm gonna pound your face in if you don't shut up!”  
  
“It's cute that you think you can kick my ass, too.” Jinhwan replied, and in truth he was a little surprised. It's not that Bobby was some sexual God who went around sleeping with everyone—far from it. But Jinhwan did know for a fact that Bobby had ended two relationships over a lack of sexual activity. For him to go this long with nothing was a record.  
  
Bobby glared at him in aggravation. He was annoyed over Jinhwan prying, but he was also annoyed because everything he was saying was the truth. And maybe he was also a little annoyed because nothing _had_ happened between he and Hanbin yet. It's not that Bobby was in a rush. Hanbin was worth waiting for. But it would be nice for _something_ more than just a kiss or a quick grope. Then again he hadn't exactly asked Hanbin how experienced he was. It would probably be a smart move, but still, it just felt a little awkward.  
  
He didn't want Hanbin to feel like he expected something. Which was weird because he'd always expected things from any of the other guys he'd dated. But the relationship dynamics with Hanbin were different, Bobby respected him more. He just didn't exactly know how to deal with it.  
  
Jinhwan shovelled the last of his fried rice into his mouth, watching Bobby in smug silence. He'd hit a bit of a nerve, apparently. It really was sweet, though, and Jinhwan was happy that Bobby was finally in a relationship with someone that he cared about. He got up from the table and carried his bowl over to the sink, rinsing it out before leaning down to hug Bobby and teasingly peck a kiss on his cheek.  
  
“Thanks for dinner, Bob.”  
  
Bobby swatted at Jinhwan. “Hey hold on, I never finished grilling you about Junhoe!”  
  
“There's nothing to grill!” Jinhwan replied before slipping out of the kitchen. “Your relationship is way more fun to discuss!” Jinhwan yelled to him from the hallway, and Bobby was left alone at the kitchen table, annoyed about it all. Jinhwan could be so irritating when he tried.  
  
His thoughts were interrupted by a text message from Hanbin.  
  
_-busy? hanbyul wants to say goodnight before she goes to sleep-_  
  
Before he knew it Bobby was agreeing to the video call and he felt a fluttering in his stomach, the kind you got when you were waiting for good news. (The kind you got when you were in love.) Seconds later and there was Hanbin, on screen with his sister, who was shyly waving to Bobby. It was still a slow going process with he and Hanbyul. She liked him now, of that he was certain, but she was still hesitant to approach him on her own, still didn't engage him in conversation without Hanbin prompting her.  
  
That was fine, though. She was adorable and Bobby was willing to put in the work needed to win her over fully. Things like this were his reward, an unexpected goodnight video call, and Bobby thought that nothing was cuter than watching his boyfriend be adorable with his little sister. Moments like this were ones you shared with someone you had long-term feelings for.  
  
Bobby's heart felt light as he watched them, and when he told Hanbyul to give Hanbin a kiss for him and she did, it made him think about his talk with Jinhwan suddenly. In the end it was stuff like this that was important. He could make out with anyone, but he wouldn't spend ten minutes saying goodnight to any of his exes' siblings. They ended the call and Hanbin promised to call Bobby again later, and Bobby was eager for it.  
  
_Worth waiting for._  


* * *

“This is weird.” Junhoe felt oddly insecure with the blindfold on. Didn’t being blindfolded usually make people more open, because no one could see you making a fool out of yourself?  
  
“I know, it’s going to be even weirder the first few times we grapple,” Jinhwan answered, tempted to leave his blindfold off. He’d promised Junhoe he’d wear one too, though, and he couldn’t go back on that. “Come on, stay near me so we don’t get too far away.” Junhoe approached him by listening to his voice, and Jinhwan reached out to grab his arm when he got close. “Okay stay there, don’t move.” He quickly slipped the blindfold on, and immediately his first thought was of the first time he’d done this with Eric.  
  
He really couldn’t afford to think about that right now though.  
  
He reached out, grabbing Junhoe’s arm again. “Okay, let’s just practice setting up guard position, so we can get a feel for it. Then from there we’ll do different things, okay?”  
  
“Okay. Who’s doing what, though?” Junhoe stood by him, kneeling when he felt Jinhwan kneel.  
  
“I’ll get on my back, you get in my guard.” Jinhwan kept a hand on Junhoe, constantly touching as he got himself into position.  
  
Junhoe felt weird about it still, but that was mostly because the whole situation was just strange. When Jinhwan laid on his back Junhoe took up a position in between his legs and waited for Jinhwan to lock his legs up around his back. Maybe it was because he couldn’t see him, or maybe it was because of Hanbin’s bullshit teasing the other day, but for the first time ever Junhoe kind of felt like the whole situation was way more intimate than it had any right being.  
  
He was right up against Jinhwan, Jinhwan’s inner thigh was pressing right into him--  
  
_Get a hold of yourself!_ Junhoe couldn’t believe his mind had gone right there, right away! He’d been in guard position with Jinhwan countless times, how was his brain going anywhere other than jiu jitsu right now?!  
  
Jinhwan didn’t say anything, just let Junhoe get used to being in position without being able to see. He was trying not to think about Eric, trying to forget the way he’d reacted, being in Junhoe’s position… It had been embarrassing at first, but everything had worked out in the end. “Okay, you good?”  
  
Junhoe was so edge that he replied in a strained voice. “Yeah I’m good!”  
  
Jinhwan couldn’t help but laugh at the high pitch. “I know it’s weird doing this without being able to see, keep your cool. It’ll feel less weird soon, I promise. Right now just get a feel for this, practice doing some gi grips, after that I’ll get you to try getting out of my guard. Your hands know where to go, they just have to get used to doing it on their own.”  
  
Oh sure, it sounded so simple, the only problem was that Junhoe’s hands didn’t exactly want to go where they were supposed to go right now. But he fought against that, because there was no way he was going to let himself get worked up right now. He had to think about something that was not sexual. Not sexual at all.  
  
He grabbed at Jinhwan’s gi, fisting his hands in the fabric, trying to think of something other than Jinhwan’s too close body. God, this was terrible! He was going to _kill_ Hanbin! This was all his fault for putting the damn thoughts in his head!  
  
Jinhwan let his own hands grab Junhoe’s gi, fingers curling into the fabric. It had started out so innocently back then, it was kind of cute when he thought back on it. He remembered it well, lying on his back with Eric over him, and okay sure, so he’d been harbouring a crush on Eric then, before he’d known Eric was gay. He’d been scared, actually, when he’d first realized what was happening to his body. One second he’d been fine, and the next he’d felt like shrivelling up and dying on the floor when he realized his dick had gotten hard and was pressing into Eric’s thigh.  


* * *

  
“ _Jinan, it’s okay, honestly! You don’t have to be embarrassed. I can promise you, you are not the first guy who’s popped a boner during sparring. Seriously, it’s okay.”  
  
It wasn’t okay, though! If Eric knew how he really felt...  
  
_ “ _Hey, come here, it’s okay!” Eric moved closer, drawing him into a hug, but Jinhwan resisted. “Jinan, I mean it. I can’t believe this is the first time it’s happened to you.”  
  
Eric laughed, but Jinhwan just wanted to cry. God, he felt like such an idiot! For weeks now, he’d been telling himself that it wasn’t a problem, crushing on Eric. But it clearly was a problem now. He’d been fine before, sparring with him, because that’s all it had been. But for some reason the blindfold had changed everything. Instead of sparring, Jinhwan’s mind had gone right to some fantasy that Eric would probably hate him for.  
  
He had to get over it, though. If he didn’t, wouldn’t Eric think it was weird?  
  
_ “ _Jinan-ie, come on, you’re worrying me a little!” Eric laid a hand on his head, ruffling fingers through his hair, and that familiar touch had Jinhwan’s eyes watering.  
  
What if Eric figured it out? What if he was so disgusted he refused to train with him again? What if he told everyone else? What if everyone refused to train him? His mother would be right. No one would want to train with a gay boy.  
  
Eric didn’t push him for a bit, just sat beside him and played with his hair, but that made it all worse for Jinhwan. He couldn’t stop thinking about Eric. Couldn’t stop thinking about kissing him. Couldn’t stop thinking.  
  
_ “ _Okay, clearly something is a bit more serious for you. You shouldn’t be this upset about it. If you want to talk about it, I’m here for you, okay? I promise, whatever it is, you can tell me. I won’t hate you.”  
  
Hate him? Oh god, it was like Eric knew! Did he know? Was he lying when he said everyone got hard when they trained? Was he just trying to be nice?  
  
_ “ _Jinan, please tell me what’s wrong. If you don’t, I might have to start guessing, and I really don’t want to potentially offend you.” Eric’s voice was soft, and Jinhwan wanted to believe him so bad. But what if he was faking it? What if he was just waiting for the admission, waiting to hear it with his own ears and gather the evidence needed to kick Jinhwan out?  
  
He couldn’t tell him. He had to come up with something, quick! Some childhood trauma, maybe? What would be a believable story? Maybe something had happened to him at school, someone had made fun of him?  
  
_ “ _Jinan? Maybe this isn’t going to help at all, especially if I’m wrong; if I’m wrong please forget what you’re about to hear,” Eric paused then, and Jinhwan waited, curious, certain that there was no way that Eric would possibly say anything that could actually help him right now--  
  
_ “ _I’m gay. So trust me when I say that I understand how embarrassing it can be to get hard when you’re fighting with someone, especially if they don’t know.”  
  
Jinhwan wasn’t sure he’d actually heard him. Had he imagined that? Had his brain heard what he wanted to hear? Had Eric actually said something else?  
  
_ “ _Jinan?”  
  
Finally he looked at Eric’s reflection in the mirror, not able to look at him face to face. Eric really had said it, hadn’t he?  
  
_ “ _You’re really gay?”  
  
Eric nodded. “I definitely am.”  
  
Was this for real? Was it some dream?  
  
_ “ _I’m gay too.” Jinhwan wasn’t even sure if he’d managed to say it out loud, he was so nervous about admitting it. But Eric smiled and ruffled his hair again.  
  
_ “ _I know, kiddo. And it’s okay.”_  


* * *

  
Junhoe tried to keep his breathing stable, concentrating on each breath in and out. He had to combat this, had to fight it and beat it. He didn’t have any other choice. Of course, it wasn’t the first time he’d felt like popping a boner during practice, but it hadn’t happened for three years, at least? Back when everyone was younger and awkward. He was supposed to have it under control, though!  
  
Jinhwan would probably laugh at him, he could picture it now. He’d have to bribe him not to tell Hanbin and Bobby. There was only so much teasing Junhoe could endure, and there was no way Hanbin would let this go! At least Jinhwan was gay, so it’s not like he’d get grossed out by it. That was his only saving grace right now.  
  
Jinhwan grabbed Junhoe’s lapels, suddenly pulling him down and closer. “Come here!” He said jokingly, wrapping his legs tighter around Junhoe’s back. “Give it a minute, then try and break out of this.”  
  
Junhoe barely managed to keep himself from yelling when Jinhwan pulled him down. _Not helping!_ God, he didn’t think it could get worse but _it did!_ It wasn’t just Jinhwan’s thigh now but his _ass_ was resting directly on top of Junhoe’s dick...fuck he didn’t think he was going to make it, his mind was drawing a blank, he couldn’t think of anything to distract himself from the thought of Jinhwan’s ass resting against his dick--  
  
“Junhoe? Try breaking out of it now,” Jinhwan instructed, trying to distract himself from his own battle with his memories, and a second later when Junhoe’s elbows dug hard into his thighs he actually yelled, surprised at the force Junhoe had used.  
  
Junhoe hadn’t paid much mind to the force, just wanting to get out from Jinhwan’s guard. He needed a minute, seriously needed a minute!  
  
Jinhwan cursed when he felt Junhoe pull away, momentarily annoyed at Junhoe for hitting him so hard. “Hey asshole, we’re training, no need to be so rough!” He bounced up from his position, grabbing Junhoe around the waist to wrestle him back down.  
  
“Hey, let me go!” Junhoe yelled back.  
  
“I told you to break out, not take a break!” Jinhwan replied, pulling Junhoe down onto the mat.  
  
“Give me a minute, okay! I’m not ready for this!” Junhoe fought against him, cursing when Jinhwan flipped him and went for an ankle lock. He couldn’t anticipate anything with this stupid blindfold on! “Hyung, I mean it!”  
  
“This is for smashing my thighs!” Jinhwan replied teasingly, locking the hold on him and straightening his legs. He ended up shoving his foot into Junhoe’s crotch, and when Junhoe cursed loudly Jinhwan realized why—Junhoe was hard.  
  
He released the ankle lock and rolled away, not able to stop himself from laughing.  
  
Junhoe quickly rolled to his knees, panting and embarrassed. Fuck. Jinhwan had noticed, and of course he’d made a bigger deal out of it himself than he should have! Of course Jinhwan was going to tease him now. So stupid.  
  
“I can’t believe you almost gave me a charlie horse because you were trying to hide your boner!” Jinhwan said, lying on his back and kicking his legs in the air as he laughed.  
  
Junhoe pulled his blindfold off and glared at Jinhwan. He couldn’t believe he’d overreacted! He felt like such a rookie right now.  
  
“Seriously, this is so fucking funny! Have you never popped one during training before?” Jinhwan asked, finally reaching up to pull his blindfold off. He laughed again when he saw how angry Junhoe looked.  
  
“Not since I was fourteen.” Junhoe ground out through clenched teeth.  
  
“Wow, your control is so much better than mine.” Jinhwan replied, turning onto his side. “Seriously though, I can’t believe you freaked so much! I mean, I could understand if I was straight, but like, I’m gay, Junhoe! An erection isn’t going to bother me.”  
  
“Shut up!” Junhoe replied, turning his attention to his own reflection in the mirror. God, this was so embarrassing!  
  
“Don’t feel bad, though,” Jinhwan replied, before balling his blindfold up and throwing it at Junhoe’s head, “wanna hear a funny story?”  
  
Junhoe glared at him again when he felt Jinhwan’s blindfold hit him. He didn’t answer, instead just glared back at him. Okay maybe being angry wasn’t helping either, but Junhoe didn’t deal well with embarrassment, and he hoped Jinhwan wouldn’t take the glares personally.  
  
“So, the first time I ever sparred blindfolded with Eric, I got so fucking hard I almost cried.” Even though he was laughing, Jinhwan well understood how embarrassing the situation probably was. So he was willing to offer up his own embarrassing story in hopes that Junhoe would calm down quicker.  
  
Junhoe looked at him in shock. “Seriously? How did he react?” Hearing that Jinhwan had popped a boner against Eric Kwon somehow made him feel better.  
  
“He was really good about it.” Jinhwan replied, rolling over onto his stomach and crossing his arms under his head. “Told me I wasn’t the first guy it had happened to.”  
  
“Shit, still, that must have been embarrassing. How old were you?”  
  
“Sixteen, and yes, before you ask, I had a massive crush on him.” So Junhoe didn’t really need to know anything had come of that crush, but it couldn’t hurt to mention it.  
  
“Wow.”  
  
“Yeah that about sums it up.” Jinhwan replied, grinning at him. “So it’s nothing to be ashamed of. I mean honestly, I felt it, it’s _definitely_ nothing to be ashamed of!” Jinhwan couldn’t help but tease him.  
  
Junhoe’s cheeks flushed at the joke. “Ah hyung, seriously! That’s not funny!”  
  
“I mean, you personally might be a _bit_ of a dick, but physically you’re quite a _lot_ of dick?” Jinhwan hoped he wasn’t pushing it too far with that one.  
  
“Ah really! That’s crossing a line!”  
  
Jinhwan got up to his knees, crawling over towards Junhoe, who was facing the mirror. “If you think that constitutes crossing a line, boy have I got some news for you!” Jinhwan jumped him from behind, arms circling around Junhoe and without warning his hand made a grab for Junhoe’s dick (which he was pleased to find was still hard).  
  
“HYUNG!” Junhoe wasn’t ready for it and tried to scramble away.  
  
Jinhwan let him go and rolled onto his back, kicking his feet in the air again as he laughed.  
  
Junhoe wanted to elbow drop his face _so bad_ right now, but he let it go. He was just making a big deal out of nothing again. It was fine. Jinhwan could have made this super awkward by acting weird, but instead he was trying to be playful. Maybe Junhoe just needed to stop being so serious about it.  
  
Why had Jinhwan grabbed it with his hand, though? Junhoe stared at him, watched as he calmed down from laughing. Thought, briefly, how Jinhwan was kind of cute when he laughed like that, with his whole body. Wished he was laughing at something other than Junhoe’s own awkward reaction so he could join him.  
  
Thought again about what Hanbin had said. Why wait around for someone who might not actually be gay when there was someone who _was_ gay, right in front of him?  
  
Dangerous thoughts, those, and Junhoe knew they wouldn’t lead anywhere good. He needed to remember why Jinhwan wasn’t worth pursuing. Needed to remember why it probably wouldn’t work out.  
  
“So, are we gonna try this again?” Jinhwan asked now that he’d stopped laughing. “I promise you, it’s going to help. Don’t worry about getting hard again, I mean, I can’t blame you anyway. I’d probably get hard too if a nice ass was pressing down on my dick like that.”  
  
Junhoe closed his eyes and took a deep breath in, releasing it slowly before opening his eyes and looking back at Jinhwan. Before he had a chance to say anything Jinhwan arched his eyebrows and blew an over the top seductive kiss at him, and for some reason that made everything okay, and Junhoe finally got over himself and started laughing.  
  
Jinhwan hadn’t meant to get them giggling again, but it was probably a good thing for Junhoe to release that frustrated tension out before they resumed training. He was cute when he laughed, his eyes crinkling up and his mouth wide, his smile all teeth. Jinhwan rolled over onto his stomach, propping himself up with one hand under his chin. He stopped laughing before Junhoe did and just watched him. Should he go for it? Would it be a bad idea?  
  
He didn’t want a boyfriend right now, but he wouldn’t mind someone fun to pass the time with. Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad? Would Junhoe agree to an arrangement like that? Was it worth asking?  
  
“Okay, let’s train again. I think I’m over that.” Junhoe forced himself to meet Jinhwan’s gaze, pleased to find Jinhwan smiling so fondly at him.  
  
“Alright. Let’s spar for real, though? Loser buys the winner dinner?”  
  
“No way! You’re more experienced than me, you’ll probably win.”  
  
Jinhwan couldn’t help but grin. “Well I won’t lie, with the way you giggle over a boner I probably am more experienced than you.”  
  
Junhoe just stared at him for a moment before pouncing at him and putting him in a light choke hold, trying to keep his own laughter at bay.  
  
Jinhwan didn’t even try to get out of it, instead just wrapping his fingers around Junhoe’s arm. “Are you trying to tell me something?” He asked, grinning when Junhoe slung a leg over his hips—Junhoe was still semi hard.  
  
“Yeah, you’re an asshole!” Junhoe replied.  
  
“Well, I guess that answer makes sense. I was only asking because you have me in a rear naked choke,” Jinhwan said, “nice to see you’re thinking of me as a means to an end!”  
  
Junhoe couldn’t believe he’d walked right into that one! He laughed, though, because it was actually funny, and he loosened the hold on Jinhwan, rolling onto his back and laughing. Jinhwan rolled on top of him, and Junhoe opened his eyes to look up at him.  
  
Wasn’t he supposed to be remembering all the reasons why this was a bad idea?  
  
Jinhwan grinned down at him, straddling his waist. Should he go for it? What was the worst thing that could happen? Surely Junhoe wouldn’t freak out from just a kiss, would he?  
  
Junhoe was trying hard to keep tabs on himself, repeating a mantra in his head about how _this is bad, this is bad, don’t go for it_ but the longer he stared up into Jinhwan’s eyes, the harder it became. This was a terrible idea.  
  
If Junhoe was going to take offense, Jinhwan decided that he’d have done it by now, and he took that as a sign to proceed. He leaned down, hands shooting up to cup Junhoe’s cheeks as he pressed his lips softly to Junhoe’s, and when he didn’t squirm away or tense up Jinhwan let his tongue run along Junhoe’s lips, probing against them lightly until finally they opened up. Junhoe’s tongue pressed shyly into Jinhwan’s, uncertainty and inexperience spoken in a language Jinhwan recognized.  
  
That was okay. He’d had the best teacher for this anyway, so he knew what to do.  
  
Things wouldn’t get weird.


	22. Kick or Kiss

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A continuation of the previous chapter. What comes after a kiss?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is just Junhoe and Jinhwan; the others will be back next chapter. As a note: I, uh, had to raise the rating up slightly for some weird reason. Not sure why. I guess something happened in this chapter? ;)
> 
> Also HAPPY BIRTHDAY to Adriana (the lovely person I'm writing this for)!! Sorry this wasn't ready on your actual birthday, but it's still your birthday where I am!! ♥♥♥

Junhoe wasn't even sure anymore how it had happened. One minute they were joking around and the next minute they were kissing. It was like a scene out of some TV drama, in fact he was certain that he'd probably watched something exactly like this before. How did they usually end up going? The couples expressed their attraction, tried to fight it, only to lose the battle and end up together in the end. Was that how this would end up going?  
  
“Junhoe? Either I'm an even better kisser than I thought, or you've never had a proper kiss before.”  
  
Jinhwan's teasing comment snapped Junhoe back to attention and he glared up at Jinhwan before promptly shoving him off. “Don't flatter yourself! You just caught me by surprise, that's all.”  
  
Jinhwan actually laughed at him. “Right, and that's why the kiss lasted so long?” Jinhwan asked, grinning at him.  
  
Had it lasted that long? It had seemed so brief—not that it mattered. “I didn't want to be rude!”  
  
Jinhwan laughed again, like he thought Junhoe's answers were cute. “Wow, this is just like some TV drama, your reaction is so predictable!”  
  
Jinhwan was thinking of TV dramas too? It didn't mean anything. Everybody would probably have the same reaction, it didn't mean their thoughts were linked or whatever. That was just stupid. Junhoe shook his head and continued glaring at Jinhwan. “Ah, you think you're such a comedian, don't you?”  
  
“I bet you've been harbouring a secret crush on me for weeks now, haven't you?” Jinhwan teased again, his humour fed by Junhoe's glares. He remembered Hanbin's explanation about Junhoe, and how if he was really upset about something, he'd get quiet. But Junhoe wasn't really trying to hide from the situation, so Jinhwan thought it meant that he was okay with it. Probably just surprised.  
  
It was Junhoe's turn to laugh (though it was an incredulous laugh of disbelief). “More like harbouring a secret desire to kick your ass.”  
  
Jinhwan wasn't deterred, though. “Kick or kiss? You'll fail if you try the first, but if you ask sweetly I might just let you do the second.”  
  
Junhoe watched as Jinhwan descended into another fit of giggles, and it knocked the wind out of his irritation. Okay, hadn't he actually been contemplating kissing him too? And then he'd gone and reacted like some idiot who was afraid of getting close? The past ten minutes had been nothing but Junhoe putting his own proverbial foot in his mouth. He needed to be cool about this, not some overreacting kid. “You should be kissing my ass instead.”  
  
Jinhwan rolled onto his side and propped his head up on his hand. “That's an awfully disrespectful way to be talking to your hyung.” He was grinning, though, so Junhoe knew he wasn't actually upset. “And your trainer!”  
  
Junhoe just rolled his eyes. “You gonna make me do pushups, hyung?”  
  
Jinhwan's eyes sparkled with mischief. “I should. Test that upper body strength. It's important to have that after all.” He stared at Junhoe expectantly, like he was serious about the pushups. Junhoe stared back, and he kind of felt like they were in a standoff. Did Jinhwan really expect him to do pushups?  
  
“Can you even do ten pushups?” Jinhwan asked, and Junhoe fell for it.  
  
_“Ten?_ Of course I can!” His response was accompanied by a look of disgust, like he was offended by Jinhwan's doubt. “I can do ten one-armed!”  
  
Jinhwan smirked at the answer. Junhoe really was predictable if you knew how to play him. “You can? Then get to it.”  
  
Junhoe was down in the pushup position before realizing that he'd totally walked right into it. Hanbin always teased him about how easy it was to get him to do whatever he wanted, and despite knowing how he did it, Junhoe kept letting it happen every damn time. He shook his head in disgust at himself before preparing to do the pushups. While he could do them one-armed, he'd never tried to do ten in a row before, and for his pride's sake he hoped he'd be able to do them without problem.  
  
Jinhwan watched as he got started, and when Junhoe started struggling by the sixth he got up and crawled over to him. “Okay that's enough, I require something more impressive for the last four.”  
  
Junhoe warily lowered himself to the floor (resting his wobbly right arm, glad for the break because he didn't think he'd have made it to ten) and looked back at Jinhwan. “What now, his royal highness?” He asked sarcastically (mostly to hide how much he'd been struggling).  
  
Jinhwan suddenly pounced on him, laying across Junhoe's back. “Do the last four with me on your back!”  
  
Junhoe had to stop himself before shoving Jinhwan off. _Play it cool, stay calm, don't overreact._ “Fine, I can do that.” He took a deep breath, annoyed that he was actually going to do this (and hoping that Jinhwan wasn't heavier than he looked).  
  
When Junhoe pushed up from the floor Jinhwan readjusted his legs, his knees pressing into Junhoe's sides and his arms wrapping around his chest. Junhoe managed one pushup with Jinhwan on his back properly before Jinhwan ground himself lightly against Junhoe's ass, grinning when he felt Junhoe stiffen. Junhoe didn't say anything, though, and instead he went down for a second pushup, though his arms were wobbling a little.  
  
Jinhwan closed his eyes and ground against him again, and by now his dick was half hard, enough for Junhoe to be able to feel it. Jinhwan couldn't help it—it was a hot situation and he was sure Junhoe wouldn't really be bothered. Besides, he did kind of want to bring up the fact that they'd kissed again. Maybe Junhoe wouldn't be so defensive about it now.  
  
Junhoe couldn't help but wonder what Jinhwan was doing. First he'd kissed him, now he was grinding into him—was this all serious, or was he just being an asshole? Junhoe kind of wanted to ask, but he didn't know if he really wanted to talk about it or just pretend it had all never happened. He was still kind of hard himself, though, still had thoughts about flipping their positions and kissing Jinhwan again (just to remember what it was like, that was it, because he'd forgotten already) but he wasn't about to do it himself. Nope. If Jinhwan wanted to go for it, maybe he'd let him.  
  
Junhoe managed the third pushup and was currently struggling with the fourth, and when he finally made it up to complete it he collapsed back to the floor directly after. Jinhwan dropped on top of him and sat up, straddling the backs of Junhoe's thighs. Jinhwan grinned before delivering a rather hard slap to Junhoe's ass.  
  
“I'd say well done for finishing, but in truth that was a little pathetic! I think you should hit the gym and work on your upper body strength a little bit more.”  
  
Junhoe blushed at the slap and kept his face hidden so Jinhwan wouldn't see. He had to fight to keep himself from rolling out from under him and scurrying away, because that would probably just make Jinhwan laugh again. He had to keep his cool. “You're a lot heavier than you look, hyung.”  
  
“I should get Bobby to train you at the gym, have you seen his biceps? He could probably bench press Hanbin one-armed.”  
  
_Oh god. Hanbin._ How would he react if he could see this? Junhoe didn't want to think about it, he'd never endure the teasing.  
  
Jinhwan waited for a response, but when he got nothing he wondered if he was pushing it too far. But Junhoe wasn't tense or anything, his body wasn't stiff and uncomfortable. Maybe he was just winded from the pushups? Jinhwan grinned and drummed his hands against Junhoe's ass playfully. “Did that really tire you out this much? Maybe we should work on your stamina too.”  
  
Junhoe was about to reply, but the tone of his response changed when Jinhwan pinched his ass. “Hyung! Would you leave my ass alone?” He looked back at him over his shoulder, slightly annoyed, but also a little embarrassed.  
  
Jinhwan grinned back at him. “Oh sorry, was that your ass? I didn't realize you had one, it kind of just blends in with your thighs.” Jinhwan teased back, and he wasn't prepared for it when Junhoe suddenly sat up and grabbed his arm and tugged him down. Jinhwan didn't bother fighting it as Junhoe put him in a light choke hold, one leg slung over Jinhwan's to keep him locked. He was too busy laughing.  
  
Junhoe wanted to be annoyed, but Jinhwan's laugh was addictive, and soon his frown was flipped up into a grin, and he shook with silent laughter of his own. Okay. He _really_ needed to stop overreacting to Jinhwan's teasing, because it was much better to just laugh about it from the start.  
  
Not that Jinhwan had really been worried, but he still felt relieved when Junhoe started laughing too, and it was nice, how comfortable he actually felt with him at the moment. They'd really come a long way in a short period of time. He wanted to comment on it, but he thought it would probably be a little too much for Junhoe. Instead he just focused on Junhoe wrapped around him, on the fact that he could feel, right against his leg, that Junhoe was clearly still very much turned on. Instead of being sentimental, maybe he'd just be flirty instead.  
  
“So, I can feel that you're still interested, huh?” He pushed his hip up off the ground and into Junhoe's crotch, grinning when Junhoe tensed a little at the contact.  
  
How was he even supposed to respond to that? It was embarrassing, Junhoe almost felt like a stupid kid with no control over himself—but maybe he was trying to fight a useless battle? He wasn't the only one, after all, he'd felt Jinhwan too, knew he was similarly affected. There was no need to be embarrassed about it.  
  
“Don't flatter yourself, I get hard when I'm tired.”  
  
Jinhwan laughed at the excuse. “You're such a liar! And you have shitty stamina too.”  
  
“I meant I'm tired of your bullshit!” Junhoe replied, tightening his loose choke hold on Jinhwan. “You're an annoying guy, you know that, right?”  
  
“An annoying guy who makes your dick hard.” Jinhwan answered back, and he was surprised when Junhoe simply released the hold instead of fighting back. Sometimes Junhoe was easy to anticipate, but other times Jinhwan was surprised.  
  
Junhoe untangled himself from Jinhwan and rolled away, but he wasn't upset. Instead he couldn't help but laugh, because really, this situation was kind of ridiculous and he needed a minute to really come to grips with it all.  
  
Jinhwan watched him with scrutinizing eyes until he was sure that Junhoe wasn't actually upset. “So, can we actually talk about that kiss? Now that you're not all defensive about it anymore.”  
  
Junhoe remained on his back, eyes on the ceiling. What did he want to say about it? That he'd liked it? That he wanted to do it again? That despite it being kind of weird and a little overbearing, he liked Jinhwan's flirty behaviour? Wanted a bit more of it? Could he really admit that?  
  
When Junhoe didn't answer, Jinhwan pushed on himself. Silence didn't always mean that Junhoe was unhappy, did it? “Listen, I'll be honest with you—I've actually been thinking about doing that for a while, now. Kissing you. I think you're really attractive.” There. He'd said it, as plain as he could, and now it was on Junhoe to respond.  
  
Junhoe's brain felt like it was going to melt. Jinhwan was honestly attracted to him? This wasn't just some joke to him? Junhoe hoped he wasn't blushing, because it was a little more difficult than he'd thought it would be, accepting the interest of someone else. “Uh, yeah, me too.” _Me too._ What did he even mean by that? Did he want something with Jinhwan? Would it work out with them?  
  
Jinhwan grinned at Junhoe's awkward acceptance and admission. “I knew it! You've been into me from the beginning, haven't you?” He couldn't help but tease.  
  
Junhoe's defenses were up suddenly and without warning. “No I mean I think _I'm_ attractive!” God was it really so hard for him to admit his interest in Jinhwan? Was his brain really that desperate to keep it from coming out?  
  
Jinhwan bit his cheek to keep from laughing. Junhoe was adorable, there was no getting around it. “Ah, there we go, that ego of yours coming out again!” He teased back, amused at the attempted deflection. Junhoe was apparently going to be some work, but Jinhwan was up for a potential challenge. “I know I've been a little pushy today, and I'll just get to it and say it outright. I'm really interested in you, but I'm not really looking for a relationship. Just someone to have a little fun with.”  
  
The words surprised Junhoe, and his disappointment surprised him too. What exactly had he been expecting? Wasn't this a better idea anyway? Less messy?  
  
Jinhwan waited a moment, but when there was no answer again he kept going. “And by fun, I mean equal parts innocent fun and not-so-innocent fun.”  
  
Junhoe finally sat up and looked at him, tried to school his own expression into something neutral. “So what, we just mess around with each other?” His throat felt a little tight at the question, and it made him annoyed with himself. He thought suddenly about what Hanbin had teased him about, entering his adult years as a virgin. No. That wasn't going to happen. Jinhwan was clearly experienced, and Junhoe wanted to share in that experience. Maybe it would be easier learning from someone when emotions weren't involved? He could do it.  
  
Jinhwan was relieved when Junhoe didn't automatically decline. “Yeah, exactly that! Well, I wouldn't mind actually hanging out with you too, whether or not the two other idiots are around. I like you. As a friend, but you know, a really attractive friend that I wouldn't mind maybe fucking every once in a while.” He watched Junhoe's response, not surprised in the least when his bluntness made Junhoe blush. It was cute.  
  
_Fucking._ Was Jinhwan expecting that right away? Did Jinhwan think he was more experienced than he actually was? Should he tell him the truth? Junhoe debated it all in his head, and he looked at Jinhwan and nodded, but couldn't quite make himself look him in the eye.  
  
“If you don't want something casual, that's okay, just tell me. Or if you change your mind, let me know. I don't want to make anything awkward between us, okay?” Jinhwan knew all too well what developing feelings could do to a casual relationship, and he wanted to be upfront with Junhoe from the start.  
  
Even though Junhoe wasn't entirely sure he'd be okay with just keeping it casual, he wasn't about to back down. “No we need to keep this casual. Even if I wanted to date you—which I don't—Hanbin would be unbearable. So we're not saying a word to anyone about this.”  
  
Jinhwan nodded, amused at how defensive Junhoe was being. “I agree, they'd be terrible. But I mean it, though. Feelings change sometimes, so if that happens just let me know, okay?”  
  
Junhoe shook his head. “You must think really highly of yourself if you think that I'd ever be interested enough to want to date you.” Hanbin liked to say that Junhoe had a disease that made him spurt comments out without thinking about them in the most inappropriate of times. Junhoe knew that he had to be sounding like he was hiding something, but he couldn't stop himself from speaking.  
  
Jinhwan thought it was endearing, though. “Excuse me, but I would be the best boyfriend you've ever had if we did date! Then again, that might not be difficult to achieve. Have you even had a boyfriend before?”  
  
“I have!” Junhoe answered, annoyed at the insinuation.  
  
“How many?” Jinhwan couldn't help but ask, and it's not like the number of guys made a difference. He'd only ever dated Eric, after all. But sometimes it came down to quality over quantity.  
  
Junhoe glared at him, annoyed that he was letting Jinhwan sucker him into this. “One.” He didn't have to be embarrassed about only having had one boyfriend! It's not like gay guys were in abundance or anything. And he had _standards_ anyway.  
  
“Did you even kiss him?” Jinhwan teased.  
  
“Yeah!” Junhoe replied.  
  
“With tongue?” Jinhwan asked, laughing when Junhoe didn't answer right away.  
  
“You know what? Fuck you.” Junhoe sulkingly answered.  
  
Jinhwan grinned. “Yeah on that topic, have you even had sex before?” He already knew the answer to the question, but the way Junhoe's face turned beet red was worth asking him about it. “Ah, why am I even asking, I know you haven't!”  
  
“You don't know that!” Junhoe replied defensively, glaring eyes on Jinhwan.  
  
“I'm pretty sure I do.” Jinhwan winked at him, amused at Junhoe's seesaw behaviour. “It's not a problem, by the way, we all started out that way. I know what I'm doing, so I'll take care of you.”  
  
“I don't need to be taken care of!” Junhoe shot back, hackles raised. He tried to talk himself down, knew he was overreacting again, but he couldn't help it.  
  
“I mean I'm being a good teacher with jiu jitsu, right? I can get you in bed and teach you the rear naked reach-around.”  
  
And just like that, with one simple joke, Junhoe's defenses crumbled and he couldn't stop the laugh from bubbling up, and he hated how easy it was. Jinhwan laughed too. Maybe Junhoe wouldn't be so tough to crack after all.  
  
Jinhwan crawled over to where Junhoe was sitting, reaching out to grab the blindfolds from where they'd been thrown. “Alright, now that we've come to an agreement, let's get back to training?” He offered a blindfold out to Junhoe, who looked at it with confusion.  
  
“So that's it? We're just going back to training after that?” He wasn't sure what he expected them to do. But picking up where they'd left off wasn't it.  
  
Jinhwan pressed the blindfold into his hand and winked at him. “Yeah, unless you wanted to do something else?”  
  
“No! I just, ah fuck. Fine let's do this.” Junhoe took the blindfold and glared at him. Jinhwan was annoying and confusing at times, but then so was everyone that Junhoe was close to. Maybe that was just the type of people he attracted to himself.  
  
“Okay, let's do this. If you can successfully escape my guard and get me in a submission three times, I'll give you a blowjob.” Jinhwan casually offered, like it was a normal occurrence.  
  
Junhoe's face blanched in shock. “What?”  
  
“You don't have to tap me, just lock something in. Blindfolded, of course. Three times. Think you can do it?” Jinhwan knew that part wasn't what had Junhoe staring at him in abject horror (which a lesser person may have taken offense to, but Jinhwan had a pretty good grasp on Junhoe's reactions by now). But he was being purposefully evasive.  
  
“Here?” Junhoe asked, because his mind was still stuck on _blowjob._  
  
Jinhwan looked around and nodded. “Yeah. Unless you want to go home? Do it in the comfort of your bedroom?”  
  
Junhoe couldn't answer, too shocked at the offer. “But, we're in public...”  
  
“We're at my gym, and we're the only people here. No one else is coming in tonight, we're alone.” Jinhwan stared at him expectantly, like he didn't think the offer was worthy of all this discussion. Junhoe didn't answer, though, and Jinhwan was trying not to laugh. “Ah, is that a little too much for you then? Maybe just a handjob to get started?”  
  
“No it's fine!” Junhoe replied without thinking. “Get your mouth ready cause I'm gonna kick your ass.” Without a second glance Junhoe slipped his blindfold back on, blocking himself from even thinking about Jinhwan's offer.  
  
Jinhwan smirked in victory before putting his own blindfold back on. He really hoped Junhoe wasn't going to be too distracted, because he really wanted him to succeed. Maybe he should have set the bar a little lower. One successful evasion.  
  
They got into position again and Jinhwan went easy on him for the first one, even though Junhoe was unexpectedly focused. It only took him a minute before he locked an arm bar on Jinhwan.  
  
“Don't go getting cocky,” Jinhwan teasingly told him, “I was going easy on you.”  
  
“Well you can stop.” Junhoe replied. “I won't learn anything if you go easy on me.”  
  
“I can't disagree with you there. Come back then and let's give a second go?” Jinhwan said, and soon he was on his back again, Junhoe looming over him. Jinhwan fought back harder this time, but still didn't go all out. Junhoe escaped out quickly enough, but Jinhwan wasn't so quick to allow himself to be pulled into a submission move. Instead it was Junhoe caught up twice now, Jinhwan showing his superior skills.  
  
Their fourth turn saw Junhoe victorious again after a few minutes.  
  
“Ah that was good!” Jinhwan called out, laid out on his back and breathing a little heavily. “It feels like you're getting the hang of this better.”  
  
Junhoe was sitting up on his knees, breathing heavily but feeling good. “Thanks, hyung! It feels less awkward now, at least.”  
  
“I can tell, there's a big improvement from when we started half an hour ago. Let's switch it up though, I want to start with you in my rear guard this time.” Jinhwan wanted to test him, see if he could adapt easily now that he was getting the hang of fighting without using sight.  
  
“Yeah, sure.” Junhoe shuffled towards the sound of Jinhwan's voice, nervous about starting in a different position. It was good for training, though. He couldn't just get comfortable with one way, they had to keep switching it up. He settled down on the floor and let Jinhwan get into position behind him, and when Jinhwan slid his legs around his waist and put an arm loosely around his neck, Junhoe thought about what he needed to do to get out of it.  
  
It was easy to stay focused on the sport right now, instead of getting lost in thought about Jinhwan's offered victory prize. He couldn't afford to be distracted, not when he was doing something this important. They started their match and this time Jinhwan was really giving it his all. Junhoe struggled from the start, but he actually found it easier to concentrate while wearing the blindfold. There was no visual to get distracted by, all he could focus on was the feel of Jinhwan's arm around his neck and his legs wrapped over his waist.  
  
He slid a hand underneath Jinhwan's arm, giving himself room to breathe, before pushing himself up into a bridge position and forcing Jinhwan back down onto the mat, using his feet to push himself to the side, trying to slide out from Jinhwan's arms. As he moved back he felt Jinhwan's left leg come up fully over him, readying to flip up into a top mount position, so Junhoe reached for the leg and grabbed it, rolling inside towards him and bringing his foot up to rest on Jinhwan's hip before grabbing his lapels.  
  
It really wasn't so difficult to get his hands to go where they were supposed to. Thirty seconds later he got Jinhwan in an arm bar and that was good enough to pass the test.  
  
“Wow, congrats Junhoe-ya!” Jinhwan praised, pleased with his performance. “That was a really good run!”  
  
“Thanks, hyung.” Junhoe replied before reaching for his blindfold. “This was a really good idea, I feel like I'm really learning a lot.”  
  
Jinhwan removed his blindfold too. It was nice to feel like he was helping him to become a better fighter, nice to know that he had things to teach him. Of course now it wasn't just jiu jitsu anymore. “So, you managed to get those three victories, and I'm a man of my word.”  
  
Junhoe felt a sudden burst of shy embarrassment at Jinhwan's words, because he'd forgotten for a moment about his promise, he'd been so focused on jiu jitsu. Were they really going to do this? Here, right on the mats?  
  
“You can keep your blindfold on if you want,” Jinhwan teased him as he crawled over, “that way you won't have to see my face when you cum in five seconds.”  
  
Junhoe barely stopped himself from lashing out with his foot. “Oh, you think you're that good?” Not that he'd know, of course. It's not like he had anything to compare it to.  
  
“It doesn't matter how good I am,” Jinhwan teased back, “if I'm the first person that's ever going to touch your dick that isn't you, then you're probably going to cum a lot faster than you expect.”  
  
“How do you know you're the first?” Junhoe shot back, annoyed that Jinhwan seemed so smug.  
  
“I'm not? Was it your only boyfriend? Or Hanbin? Have you guys ever messed around with each other?”  
  
“Hanbin?” Junhoe's face crumpled in disgust.  
  
“No? You wouldn't?” Jinhwan asked, a little surprised.  
  
“Well, if I didn't know him, sure, but we've been best friends since we were kids, that's almost incest!” Junhoe stared back at him then, his eyes narrowing in thought. “Why, have you and Bobby ever done anything?”  
  
“One time,” Jinhwan replied, grinning when Junhoe's eyes went wide, “just handjobs, back when he first came out to me. Anyway let's not get distracted. Unless you don't want your blowjob?”  
  
Junhoe swallowed nervously before replying, trying to fake a sense of confidence. “Are we really doing this here?”  
  
Jinhwan nodded. “Right here, right now.”  
  
Junhoe looked around into the corners of the room. “There aren't cameras here, are there?”  
  
Jinhwan grinned at the question. “Why do you care? You're already out.”  
  
Was Jinhwan serious? “That doesn't matter!” He looked around again, but just because he couldn't see anything, that didn't mean nothing was there. “I mean, just because people know I'm gay that doesn't mean I want anyone to have a video of you, you know...”  
  
“God, you can't even _say_ it!” Jinhwan laughed. “You're such an inexperienced virgin, this is cute.”  
  
“Shut up!” Junhoe yelled back at him, cheeks flushed in shame.  
  
“I'm destroying your innocence, just like a dainty little flower!” Jinhwan couldn't help it, even though he knew he was skirting a line. Junhoe didn't reply, just looked away and shook his head. “Ah, Junhoe-ya! Don't be nervous, it'll be a good experience, I promise.”  
  
“I'm not nervous!” Junhoe shot back, even though he was. “It's just, we're at your club, and I'm a guest here, and I just feel weird about it.”  
  
“Wanna go make out on the mats at your club some time then so we're even?” Jinhwan asked, and the resulting glare from Junhoe was answer enough. “Honestly, there are no cameras in here, and no one is going to walk in. Where else are we going to get this level of privacy?”  
  
Junhoe nodded, because he had a point. But still, wasn't this all moving a little quick? Sure, he'd agreed to it, but he hadn't _really_ thought anything would happen this soon. He could always back out... If he needed to.  
  
“Junhoe? I don't have to do this if you don't want me to.”  
  
“No, I want you to!” _There was that disease of Hanbin's making again, blurting words out without pause._  
  
“Are you sure?” Jinhwan wondered if he'd pressured a bit too much? Or was it because he'd made a bigger deal out of Junhoe's inexperience? He wanted to ask, wanted to apologize for anything he'd said, but maybe that would just make Junhoe feel even more awkward. And if they _didn't_ go through with it, he felt like nothing would ever happen, and maybe he'd just ruined everything.  
  
Junhoe forced himself to look Jinhwan in the eye. It was too late to back out now, he'd look like an indecisive and inexperienced stupid _kid._ “It's not the blowjob that bothers me,” Junhoe hoped his voice didn't sound as awkward as he'd imagined, “just the setting. But it's your club, so, it's your call.”  
  
Jinhwan nodded, and really there was no way he could call quits to it now. He didn't think he needed to worry anyway—he was sure that Junhoe was just nervous. Jinhwan would make it so good that the nerves would disappear, he was certain of it. “Alright then, since it's my club, let's do this.”  
  
Junhoe nodded, though he still felt weird about it. He was about to get his first blowjob—shouldn't he be more excited about it? It's not like he _didn't_ want it. But the timing was weird, and the setting, and Jinhwan...  
  
“Do you want the blindfold? Honestly, if you're feeling weird it might make you less nervous.” Jinhwan asked, sitting by Junhoe's knees. “Hell, might make it feel even better, too!”  
  
Should he put the stupid blindfold back on? Swallow his pride so he wouldn't have to look at Jinhwan after? “Do you think it would be better?” He asked, because it was easier to focus on the second comment rather than the first.  
  
Jinhwan nodded, even though in all honesty it wouldn't enhance that much for Junhoe. It was already going to be an overload. But he was certain that Junhoe was nervous, and this would help the nerves. “Oh yeah, any time you take away one of the senses, it heightens the others, right?”  
  
Junhoe nodded, because that sounded legit. “Good point. Alright then, you sold me.” He spared one last glance at Jinhwan (out of false bravado alone) before slipping the blindfold back over his eyes. Maybe it was just the suggestion, but the tension already felt even more real to Junhoe. Jinhwan lightly touched his leg and the move already had Junhoe stifling a moan.  
  
Jinhwan couldn't believe he was actually about to blow Junhoe. How on Earth had he actually gotten him to agree to this? Was this really a good idea? Too late to back out of it now, though. Junhoe laid back on the floor and Jinhwan touched one of his knees, pulling his leg to the side just enough so he could kneel in between them.  
  
He undid the knotted belt on Junhoe's gi and pulled it open, casting his gaze on Junhoe's chest. He couldn't help but grin wickedly at the indecency of it all, doing this right on the mats at the gym. He was pretty sure there were no cameras, but maybe he should have actually gotten up to check for sure. He reached for Junhoe's pants, untying the string first before slipping his fingers inside the fabric. Junhoe tensed and drew in a breath at the contact, and Jinhwan thought it was ridiculously hot. Something so simple, but it had such an effect.  
  
He started pulling the fabric down, inching it over Junhoe's skin, and he was tempted to kiss his exposed belly but he thought better of it. If this really was the first time Junhoe was doing anything this intimate with anyone, Jinhwan didn't want to get him too excited before he even got to his dick. Junhoe was clearly a very proud person, and Jinhwan didn't want to ruin this before he really got it started.  
  
“Lift your hips up,” he said softly, and Junhoe did as requested, allowing Jinhwan to pull both his pants and underwear down, exposing him completely. Jinhwan couldn't believe he was actually looking at Junhoe naked right now. On one hand it was exciting and invigorating, but on the other hand he felt like maybe he was taking advantage of him. Junhoe had seemed nervous, but Jinhwan had pushed.  
  
Ah, he needed to bury those thoughts, though. It was normal for people to be nervous the first time they did anything. Hell he'd been nervous his first time too, to the point that he'd almost chickened out of it. But he'd gone through with it and the outcome had been life-altering. He wanted Junhoe to have the same experience.  
  
Junhoe was glad he'd put the blindfold on after all. He was feeling strung out already and nothing had even really happened, except that Jinhwan had just exposed him.  
  
Like that wasn't a huge deal...  
  
He took a breath in and held it, tried to stay calm. God, could Jinhwan just hurry up and get to it already? The anticipation was killing him! Maybe he should have kept the blindfold off after all. What was Jinhwan doing? What was the holdup? His whole body was tense, held tightly and waiting to feel something. Junhoe worried a little that he might not even hold out long enough for Jinhwan to touch him, he was so wound up.  
  
But then suddenly he felt a finger on his inner thigh and he let out the breath he'd been holding, breathing in heavily again. He wanted to yell at Jinhwan, wanted to kick him until he did what he was supposed to be doing. This was torture, it was cruel and inhumane and—  
  
Jinhwan grinned at the way Junhoe gasped when he finally grabbed his dick. He wasn't even pumping, he just had his fingers wrapped around it, holding it tightly. But Junhoe's knees were shaking and his fingers were fisting his gi like he needed something to hold on to. He let out the tiniest, quietest little moan and Jinhwan was certain it had to be the hottest sound in the world.  
  
Jinhwan leaned down, laying on the floor in between Junhoe's legs, hand still wrapped tightly around Junhoe's dick. He wondered how long Junhoe would actually last? Jinhwan couldn't tease him for it, he had to remember that when the time came. If he wanted to do this again he couldn't take any chances. He leaned his head down finally, greeting it tongue first.  
  
Junhoe almost came on contact. The hand was one thing, but _the tongue..._ He bit the inside of his cheek to keep from crying out, but seconds later when Jinhwan sucked the head into his mouth Junhoe couldn't help but yell, because the wet warmth was something he wasn't ready for.  
  
Jinhwan swallowed him down as far as he could, coating the length of it in saliva, before bobbing back up to the tip and using his hand. Everyone was different, of course, but Jinhwan had only ever blown one guy before, and Eric had liked a lot of hand movement (Jinhwan liked it too, so hopefully Junhoe would like it the same way). He sucked for a bit before swirling his tongue around, deep throating it again to provide a little more lubrication for his hand. Junhoe's breathing was coming hard now, stunted and shuddering gasps punctuating every thrust of Jinhwan's hand.  
  
Junhoe felt like he was going to explode. It was better than he'd expected, mind-blowing to the point that he was barely even thinking, all of his thoughts focused on Jinhwan's mouth and hand and what they were doing to him. His hands were balled into his gi and he kneaded the fabric in his fingers, moaning out loud without realizing it. He felt warm and tingly all over, and he knew what it meant, knew he was close, but it felt so much better than it ever had with his own hand, so much stronger, and when he finally came he wasn't even aware enough to warn Jinhwan, didn't even think about it.  
  
Jinhwan was ready, though, because Junhoe's body had given enough tells—everything had been energized and electric and bouncy, but then suddenly he'd gone slack and that was the moment he came. Jinhwan swallowed it all because he didn't want to deprive Junhoe of anything this first time. Not that he thought Junhoe would even notice, because when Jinhwan finished and sat up, Junhoe looked like he was out cold.  
  
Jinhwan's eyes roamed over Junhoe, taking everything in, still a little in disbelief that he'd just blown him. Junhoe had a pretty nice dick too, as far as Jinhwan was concerned. He'd enjoyed giving the blowjob, hoped Junhoe would want to do it again. Now he just had to wait around for him to come back to his senses. Jinhwan thought about fisting himself, because he was hard and desperate, but he didn't want to risk freaking Junhoe out, so he took a deep breath and forced himself to wait. This had been for Junhoe anyway. Jinhwan could hold off.  
  
Junhoe wasn't sure how long he laid there for, breathing hard and still wearing the blindfold.  
  
In short, it had been amazing. Better than he'd expected. Couldn't believe he'd actually contemplated not letting Jinhwan do it—what a stupid idea that had been. Thankfully his pride had gotten in the way of his nerves. Let that be a lesson for him.  
  
“Junhoe? You still alive?” Jinhwan moved up to lay beside him, pulling slowly at the blindfold. Junhoe's arm came up to swat his hand away and Jinhwan laughed. “Come on, you can't lay here all night. I mean, I know I'm good, but I'm hungry, I wanna go get some dinner.”  
  
Junhoe made a non-committal sort of grunt, because moving was the last thing he wanted to do.  
  
Jinhwan reached out and ruffled his hand through Junhoe's hair, smiling when Junhoe sighed at the gesture. Okay, that was the sort of thing that made it all a little _too_ cute. He'd have to be careful otherwise he might go and get himself attached. That was the last thing he needed.  
  
“Come on, get up before I go and lock you in.” Jinhwan got up to his feet and headed over to the water cooler, filling a cup and downing it in one go.  
  
Junhoe grumbled and finally reached up to slowly peel the blindfold back, squinting at the harsh glare of the overhead lights. He put the blindfold back into place but sat up, suddenly aware that his pants were still bunched up around his thighs and his gi was hanging open. He rolled over to lazily pull his pants up, yelling when Jinhwan walked by and swatted his ass.  
  
“I brought you some water, drink it.” He knelt down by Junhoe and reached out to pull the blindfold off, grinning when Junhoe grumbled about it. He took the offered cup though, sipping at the water.  
  
Junhoe drank the water because it was a good excuse to not say anything. What exactly was he supposed to say? _Thanks for the most amazing experience of my life?_ That was a little too heavy handed. But a simple _thank you_ didn't really seem like enough.  
  
Jinhwan waited until he was finished before speaking. “Wanna go get some dinner with me?”  
  
It wasn't the question Junhoe had been expecting. Was there not going to be a teasing question period? No _how did I do_ from Jinhwan? Maybe that would be easier. He nodded and handed the cup back. “Yeah, sure! I'm actually pretty hungry.”  
  
Jinhwan smiled and stood back up, heading over to get another cup of water. “You just fed me, so I figured it was the least I could do.” He didn't need to face Junhoe, just hearing his reaction to the comment was enough for him.  
  
Junhoe choked on his own saliva. It took him a moment before he could stop coughing, and by the time he did Jinhwan was watching him with an amused expression. _The asshole._  
  
“Do you want some more water?” Jinhwan asked, grinning when Junhoe just glared back at him. “Are you sure? Not thirsty?”  
  
“Fuck off, hyung.” Junhoe replied, but there was no fire behind the comment.  
  
“I was going to, but I didn't think you were ready to wake up and see me jacking off in your face.” Jinhwan teased, and when Junhoe laughed at the comment Jinhwan knew for sure they'd be fine with their set up. “Come on, let's go shower quick and get changed, I'm starving.”  
  
They went to a barbeque place for dinner and had beef, and Junhoe offered to help pay but Jinhwan waved him off and said that he wanted to treat Junhoe on account of his _special occasion._ It was an excellent meal and Junhoe talked animatedly during the whole thing, and Jinhwan was pleased to find that there wasn't a trace of awkwardness between them.  
  
He walked Junhoe home, right up to his building, and he was almost sad to see the night end.  
  
“So, we don't say a word of this to the others, right?” Jinhwan asked, grinning when Junhoe nodded.  
  
“Not a word. I didn't even tell Hanbin we were sparring with blindfolds, he'd harass me enough about that. If he knew about everything else, ah no way. I'd be hearing about it for years!”  
  
Jinhwan laughed, not doubting it. Bobby's reaction wouldn't be as intense as Hanbin's (and would actually probably be a little more protective, not even of Jinhwan, but of Junhoe) and he thought it was best that they keep it to themselves. They said their goodbyes and goodnights, and Jinhwan was about to turn and leave before Junhoe called back to him.  
  
Junhoe was conflicted about the night ending too, but he also knew that he needed some time to himself to process what they'd actually done with each other. “Hyung? Thanks for dinner.” It wasn't exactly what he wanted to say, but it was less cheesy than anything else he could think of.  
  
“Thanks for the appetizer.” Jinhwan replied with a wink, before waving him goodbye and heading back to the street. Junhoe stood outside his building and watched him go, a conflicting wave of emotions roiling over him.  
  
Could he really do this? Just physical, without feelings?  
  
Maybe, maybe not.  
  
He could always pretend, though. If he ever caught feelings for Jinhwan, well, he'd just keep them to himself.  
  
How hard could it be?

 


	23. Second Opinions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Junhoe's looking for a second opinion, while Hanbin's doing some digging.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello all—sorry this is up so late this week! I honestly wasn't sure I'd even get anything written this week, to be honest. I had a very rough week at work (a very stressful project that got dumped in my lap at the last minute that resulted in really late hours every day) so my brain was fried going into this weekend. But I managed to pull something together at the last minute, so here we go!
> 
> In case you're not aware, I don't have this story pre-written. I write as I go every week, and usually I've got at least a rough draft ready by the weekend, but I had zero time for anything this week. In all honesty, this upcoming week is going to be really tough on me as well, so there's a very real possibility that I might not update at all next weekend. I'm going to see G Dragon in concert on Sunday, so that cuts one of my days of writing out! I doubt I'll have the time during the week to get the next chapter written in time, so I wanted to mention now that there might not be an update next week. I'll try my best, but just throwing it out there that it might not happen.
> 
> Actually what I'm posting this week isn't even what I was supposed to write. But that part is way more involved and much longer, and I just didn't have the mental capacity for it this week. It worked out though.
> 
> Yunhyeong is back this chapter! To those of you who I told in comments last week that this chapter would be mostly Double B—sorry, but that will be the next update. There's a bit of them, but not as much as there was supposed to be. Next chapter! :)

“Are you actually going to try doing the work, or are you just going to sit there staring at the paper? Because I have a history project I could be working on instead of sitting here watching you avoid your math homework.”  
  
Junhoe sighed and looked up from his workbook, settling his eyes on Yunhyeong. “Sorry, hyung. I'm just kind of distracted.”  
  
“Wow, really? I had no idea.” Yunhyeong replied, rolling his eyes for extra effect. “Would it help you to talk about whatever's distracting you?”  
  
Junhoe shook his head right away, because there was no way he was telling anyone about Jinhwan. “No, it's personal.”  
  
“Well if you're not going to talk about it, then we need to focus on math. Your mom doesn't pay me to sit around watching you daydream.” Yunhyeong frowned when Junhoe didn't seem moved by his complaints. Junhoe wasn't ever like this, quiet and almost kind of mopey. If Junhoe was bothered about something, usually he'd be rambling so quickly that Yunhyeong would miss half of the conversation. This was odd behaviour for him. “Are you sure you don't want to talk about it?”  
  
Junhoe was about to say no again, but then it hit him suddenly that maybe he _could_ talk to Yunhyeong about it. He just didn't need to tell him who he was talking about. Yunhyeong didn't tend to pry for more information than Junhoe ever gave, so he could probably get away with only giving him half the story.  
  
“Okay hyung, here's a hypothetical situation for you: say there's this person you're friends with, and you like them as a friend. But then one day you realize that you think they're really hot, and then they tell you that they think you're really hot too, but they don't want a relationship. Instead they just want to, uh, you know--”  
  
“Friends with benefits?” Yunhyeong helpfully offered, grinning when Junhoe blushed and nodded.  
  
“Yeah that. And like, you say yes, because you wanna do that stuff anyway, but you've never, uh, done a lot of that stuff before. I'm not saying you've never done anything but this friend has done way more things than you have!”  
  
Yunhyeong nodded and bit the inside of his cheek to keep from laughing at Junhoe's overly defensive ramblings. He wanted to taunt him so bad, but somehow he managed to keep his comments to himself. For now, at least.  
  
“So, what do you do?” Junhoe asked finally, a pleading look on his face.  
  
Yunhyeong stared at him in confusion for a moment before answering. “I'm sorry, I'm not entirely sure what the question is. So you have this friend who's more experienced than you, and what, exactly? What's the problem? Isn't that good? They can teach you about things, right?”  
  
Junhoe shook his head. “No, that's not the problem! Could you do that with them and not date them? What happens if you get feelings for them?”  
  
Yunhyeong usually didn't pry into Junhoe's life (mostly because Junhoe tended to give him all the details all the time) but he was sorely tempted to pry now. Who was Junhoe's mysterious friend? Why the mystery? He'd have to save the questions though.  
  
“Are you asking if I'd do it to begin with?” He asked, and Junhoe nodded.  
  
“Yeah! Like do you think you could do it and not ruin your friendship with that person? What if you get feelings for them, and you decide later that you wanna, I don't know, date them or something. But they don't want to. Don't you think that would ruin your friendship?”  
  
The look on Junhoe's face was almost challenging, Yunhyeong thought, though he wasn't sure what Junhoe was challenging him about: daring him to disagree, or daring him to ask who the friend was? “Well, I guess it depends on who the person is, to tell you the truth.”  
  
“That's not important.” Junhoe interrupted, shaking his head.  
  
“It is! You said it's a friend, right? So if this person is friends with other friends of mine, then it would be a different situation than say if the person was someone who none of my friends know. Because screwing it up with the first person would make the whole group awkward, so I'm not sure I'd do it. But the second person would only affect me, and if we have no shared friends, then there's no one that would be affected, so I'd probably think about it.”  
  
Junhoe frowned at the answer. He wasn't even really sure what his problem was, to be honest. What he'd done with Jinhwan was  _amazing_ and he badly wanted to do it again. But he hadn't seen Jinhwan yet since they'd done it. What would it be like when they finally did see each other face to face? Would he be able to look him in the eye without thinking about it? Maybe he was overthinking things, though. They'd had dinner afterwards and he'd been perfectly fine. There was no guarantee that he'd see Jinhwan and immediately think about his mouth...  
  
“Junhoe? Is your friend part of your group of friends, or is it someone separate?” Junhoe didn't really have that many friends to begin with, so Yunhyeong was curious about who it might be. Obviously not Hanbin, if he was still dating that guy. Maybe that new kid who was hanging out with them now, Donghyuk? He was gay, wasn't he?  
  
“I'm not telling you anything! How do you even know I'm not _the friend?_ Huh? Maybe I'm just trying to see what the other person would be thinking.” Junhoe didn't realize what he'd said until after he'd said it, and he felt like an idiot. Why was he getting so defensive? This was always his problem, turning what should be a small issue into a big one just to try saving a bit of face.  
  
“Sure, you are,” Yunhyeong replied, “because I totally believe that you would proposition someone else with this arrangement. Totally your style.”  
  
“I could!” Junhoe angrily retorted, glaring at Yunhyeong.  
  
“Right, and what would you say to them? _Hey, I know we're friends, but I think you're hot, you think I'm hot, you wanna do, uh, you know, the thing, with each other?”_ Yunhyeong mimicked, and it was worth it just to see Junhoe's face turn crimson.  
  
“Shut up! I'd be cooler than that!” Junhoe shot back, embarrassed and wishing he'd just kept his mouth shut to begin with.  
  
“You would not! You can't even say _sex_ without blushing!”  
  
“I can so!” Junhoe replied.  
  
“Then say it right now.” Yunhyeong demanded.  
  
“Sex!” Junhoe said, but it didn't really count because he was already blushing.  
  
Yunhyeong shook his head in disgust. “You're not just going to go up to a guy and yell _sex_ at him! I mean say it like you're going to ask about it!”  
  
Junhoe was already mortified at how far off track their conversation had gone, but there was truly no turning back now. He couldn't let Yunhyeong win this conversation. “Fine, if you want proof so bad, here we go!” Junhoe sat forward in his chair and locked eyes with Yunhyeong. “Will you have _sex_ with me?”  
  
 _knock knock knock_  
  
Junhoe jolted back in his chair at the sound coming from his bedroom door, panicked eyes flitting between Yunhyeong and the door. Oh God, how loud had they been? What if it was his mom? His dad?  
  
The door slowly crept open until Yejin ducked her head into the room. Junhoe was still panicked though, because if she'd heard it, clearly...  
  
“I thought you were supposed to be studying?” She asked, eyes flitting between the two of them.  
  
Junhoe was too nervous to answer, listening intently for the sound of other footsteps in the hall, wondering when his mother would come to strangle him.  
  
Yunhyeong bowed his head apologetically. “Sorry, noona, for disturbing you--”  
  
“I thought you were here to tutor my brother in math, not sex ed.” Yejin focused on Yunhyeong, her arms crossed over her chest.  
  
“Well, to be fair, we were studying math,” Yunhyeong said, biting his lip to keep from laughing, “we were talking about what happens when two become one.”  
  
Yejin ducked back out of the room, squealing in laughter in the hallway, and Yunhyeong sighed in relief. That could have gone really bad had she not laughed about it. Junhoe was a little calmer now as well, because if she'd been sent by their parents she'd have said so right away. Maybe they hadn't heard?  
  
“Okay, that was well done,” Yejin said as she popped back into the doorway, “so I can't even be mad. But you guys really do need to get back to math, because if mom had heard that, you'd both be in serious shit.”  
  
Yunhyeong bowed in thanks and Junhoe met his sister's devious gaze. “Thank you noona!”  
  
Yejin smiled back at him. “When you're done, Junhoe-ya, come and see me. We clearly need to have a talk.” She nodded to Yunhyeong and exited the room, pulling the door shut behind her once more.  
  
Both boys heaved a sigh of relief at escaping the situation unscathed. “Okay, _now_ can we please get back to math?” Yunhyeong requested, because one close call was all he was willing to risk.  
  
Junhoe nodded, though he was nervous about Yejin now. Just how much had she heard? What was she aware of? What could he possibly tell her? He was screwed.  
  


* * *

  
“So how's training going with Junhoe?” Hanbin asked, sitting down in the bleachers next to Jinhwan.  
  
“Has he not given you the exciting details?” Jinhwan asked back, legitimately curious about what Junhoe had or had not told Hanbin.  
  
“He's been surprisingly quiet,” Hanbin explained, “he said it's going well, but he doesn't really tell me what you're doing. Just that you're practicing.”  
  
“Well, that's it, really,” Jinhwan answered, “what more were you expecting?”  
  
Hanbin grinned back at him. “I wasn't expecting anything, to be honest. I'm sure by now you've noticed how much he likes to hear himself talk, so it's just kind of weird that he doesn't really say much about it, you know?”  
  
“Ah, yeah, I see. I guess my instruction leaves him speechless?” Jinhwan joked.  
  
“Is it true he doesn't get offended when you correct him?” Hanbin asked, because he still had trouble believing that for truth.  
  
Jinhwan grinned and looked pleased with himself. “Why do you sound like that's so hard to believe?”  
  
Hanbin snorted at the question. “Because complaining is in his DNA! He talks back to anyone who tries to correct him. His coaches get it bad, and I've watched him train with Seungri hyung enough times to know that he probably gets it worse than anyone.”  
  
Jinhwan laughed at the comparison. “They've trained together for years, though, haven't they? I guess it's like family. You treat your family worse than you treat strangers sometimes, right?”  
  
“I wouldn't know, hyung, I treat my family perfectly all the time.” Hanbin replied back, purposefully being contrary.  
  
“Well, aren't you a fucking saint?” Jinhwan remarked, and they both laughed at it.  
  
“No, I get what you're saying, it's especially true of Junhoe. I mean, I know he loves his mom more than anyone in the world, but he really pushes his luck with her sometimes. Never talks back to my mom, though.”  
  
“Oh really?” Jinhwan was curious to hear about Junhoe's family interactions. Junhoe had been nothing but exceptionally polite and charming to his mother and sister.  
  
“His mom always asks me if she can switch us,” Hanbin said, grinning when Jinhwan laughed, “then he gets offended and huffs until she tells him she's only joking!”  
  
Jinhwan thought it was adorable. “Yeah, I can be a real brat to my mom too, sometimes. It's done wonders for our relationship, me living with Bobby's family half the year!”  
  
“So Bobby's mom is the real saint, then!” Hanbin replied, and Jinhwan nodded.  
  
“You know it's funny, thinking about it. Bobby's mom sometimes jokes with him that when the semester's over, she's sending him back to Jeju and I'll be staying in Seoul instead.” It was a little weird to him that their mothers had similar jokes. Maybe it was just a mom thing.  
  
“Am I the only one who's sweet to his mom all the time?” Hanbin asked.  
  
“I'm sure you do your fair share of underhanded things to your parents!” Jinhwan replied. “You can't be that innocent.”  
  
Hanbin frowned, trying his best to look offended. “I do no such thing. You can ask my mom, she'll tell you I'm perfect.”  
  
“I'll ask her when you're not around! I'm sure there's some dirt she's willing to disclose.” Their discussion was interrupted by an argument on the court—they were together watching Bobby's basketball team playing against a top-tier opponent. In their current league standings, Hanbin's school was ranked first, Bobby's third, and their opponents tonight was the team ranked second.  
  
With the end of the season coming up soon, Hanbin was here just as much to watch Bobby as he was to watch the competition.  
  
“Ugh, that guy again?” Hanbin grumbled, watching the scene.  
  
“Which one?” Jinhwan asked, eyes on the players. Seunghoon was arguing with some silver haired guy on the opposing team. Jinhwan didn't like the look of him already.  
  
“Lee Taeyong,” Hanbin explained, “their number 4. That's the asshole that injured me last season.”  
  
“What? Are you serious?” Jinhwan asked, tearing his eyes away from the floor to look at Hanbin. “What the fuck did he do to you?”  
  
“It was an accident, of course,” Hanbin began, amused at how angry Jinhwan had gotten right off the bat, “just a collision on the court that I came out of on the worse end. Actually that's the reason why I wasn't in the game when we played Bobby's team last year.”  
  
Jinhwan grinned at that addition. “Well then I guess you should thank him, because if you knew who Bobby was that day, you probably wouldn't have gone out with him, would you?” Jinhwan watched as realization dawned on Hanbin's face.  
  
“You make a good point, hyung. Anyway, this guy likes to play dirty but then he cries the loudest when anyone touches him.” Hanbin watched the scene play out below, and it was going exactly as described—Taeyong putting up a compelling argument to the referee regarding a foul by Jooheon.  
  
They watched as Bobby stepped in to calmly push Jooheon away, diffusing the argument expertly. Hanbin watched Bobby deal with the situation, pleased to see him so calm and collected. It was kind of hot, actually. Bobby was a good leader for his team.  
  
The referee deemed that while the foul stood, it wasn't a serious offence, and despite clutching his knee on the floor minutes earlier, Taeyong lined up now to take his free throws. Hanbin grinned when he missed one of them, and he cheered extra loud when Jooheon recovered the ball and sunk it in the net for two points.  
  
“Serves him right,” Hanbin said, sitting back down, “I can't stand watching guys whine over fouls during the game.”  
  
“You get fouled a lot.” Jinhwan mentioned. He'd seen it the first time back when Hanbin and Bobby had played one another, but Jinhwan had also gone to watch Hanbin's match the week previous with Bobby and he'd seen it again. Unlike Taeyong, though, Hanbin never rolled around on the court or whined to the referee about an injury.  
  
“Yeah, I have a knack for drawing them,” Hanbin admitted with a grin, “one of those skills you don't realize you have until suddenly you look back at a game and see how many of those points came from your own free throws.”  
  
“Ah look at you, so talented, even at getting other people to fuck up!” Jinhwan said teasingly.  
  
“I'm not just a pretty face, hyung!” Hanbin replied.  
  
“Hey, speaking of pretty faces, how come you didn't bring Junhoe with you? I know you're not staying long after the game, but where's he at?” Jinhwan hoped the question was casual enough as not to draw attention. After hearing that Hanbin was coming, Jinhwan had hoped he'd bring Junhoe with him. They hadn't seen each other since their _training date,_ as Jinhwan had taken to calling it in his head.  
  
He wanted to see Junhoe again, mostly just to make sure things were still cool between them. A few times this week he'd randomly thought about the blowjob, and every time he was still surprised at himself for managing to pull it off. He wanted to do it again, badly. It's not that he thought he was some master dick sucker or anything, but there was something really cool about knowing that you'd given a guy the best thing he'd ever had in his life (not that it was really anything to brag about, since it had been Junhoe's first blowjob, but still, the amount of guys Jinhwan had heard complaints from about their first blowjobs from their girlfriends had been terrible enough, teeth and no friction, half an hour of boredom resulting in having to finish themselves off by hand).  
  
He mostly wanted to know if Junhoe was desperate enough to ask him for it again. Wondered if it was weird that _he_ was feeling kind of desperate? He hadn't even gotten anything out of it himself, except by his own hand later that night getting home after dropping Junhoe off. He'd still been hard, and it hadn't taken him long to finish himself off, not when he pictured Junhoe during the moment.  
  
“He had a tutoring appointment with Yunhyeong hyung,” Hanbin explained, “still floundering in math.”  
  
“Ah, that's too bad!”  
  
Hanbin didn't respond right away, instead looking at Jinhwan out of the corner of his eye. Why was Jinhwan so concerned about Junhoe being here? Should he press? Were things happening that Hanbin wasn't aware of? Was that why Junhoe was being so tight-lipped about practice sessions with Jinhwan?  
  
Jinhwan happened to look at Hanbin, noticing the curious expression on his face. “What, Hanbin? You look like you want to say something.”  
  
Hanbin smiled at him and shrugged. “I just find it interesting, that's all.”  
  
Jinhwan sighed before deciding to play along. “What is interesting?”  
  
“Your interest in Junhoe. I mean don't get me wrong—I'm happy that you guys are friends now, because that whole brief period as enemies was honestly one of the most stressful periods of my life.” Jinhwan laughed and Hanbin shook his head. “I'm serious! You have no idea how much I suffered. You got to see Junhoe when he's being a moody brat, but you saw the nice side of that behaviour. I got the worst of it.”  
  
Jinhwan leaned into Hanbin, patting his knee. “Aw baby, it's okay, those dark days are over.”  
  
Hanbin laughed and shoved his hand away. “I mean who honestly would have expected how close you two have gotten,” Hanbin carried on, subtly trying to prod for information, “it's been what, about three weeks now, and you guys are spending so much time together training, and you're actually bothered that he didn't come to the game tonight.”  
  
“I'm not bothered.” Jinhwan replied, wondering if Hanbin was trying to dig.  
  
“I mean, if I didn't know you guys I'd think you were secretly dating or something,” Hanbin said casually, watching Jinhwan out of the corner of his eye again, trying to see what his reaction was to the comment.  
  
Oh, Hanbin was digging and Jinhwan couldn't believe he was having to deflect already. “Since you do know us, what do your senses tell you?” Jinhwan turned to him and asked with a grin. Jinhwan was a master at keeping secrets.  
  
Hanbin watched as Bobby shot a three pointer on the court before turning to look at Jinhwan. “I think you'd make a good couple.” Originally Hanbin hadn't been planning on getting directly involved in the matchmaking, but the month deadline he and Bobby had set was fast approaching, and at this rate Hanbin was going to lose.  
  
Jinhwan snorted at the comment, laughing lightly and patting Hanbin's knee. “Are you kidding? I'd probably tease him so much he'd lose his mind. It would be good for about a week, and then we'd start ripping each other's hair out.” Jinhwan didn't really think that at all, but he couldn't afford to have Hanbin sniff out his real opinion. It didn't matter whether he and Junhoe would actually make a good couple or not. The fact of the matter was that Jinhwan really didn't want another boyfriend, not right now. Romance had a way of ruining people's plans sometimes.  
  
“Hyung, a week is fine, Junhoe needs the experience!” Hanbin replied, pushing now that they were on the topic.  
  
Jinhwan laughed at Hanbin's answer. “The experience of dating, or _the experience?”_ Jinhwan asked, winking at his own comment.  
  
Hanbin grinned and nodded. “Both, really. I mean, not like I have a wealth of experience yet or anything, but I can talk about it without getting all flustered. Good luck if you can even get Junhoe to talk about his dick without going beet red.”  
  
Jinhwan had to stifle a laugh because God, did he ever know that now! But he couldn't let Hanbin know. Couldn't give them both away. “Oh man, does he? I mean, it hasn't really come up yet,” _okay that was a lie in more ways than one,_ “but he seems like the type who'd get embarrassed. It's kind of a cute.”  
  
Hanbin grinned at Jinhwan's comment. “It is.”  
  
“Speaking of cute, though, oh look at Bobby, sending you hearts!” Jinhwan switched the topic to Hanbin's own relationship, watching as Bobby looked up into the stands at them, smile as wide as it could go to celebrate his team's victory.  
  
Hanbin smiled and sent him a few finger hearts back before Bobby turned his attention back to his team. “He's so endearing.”  
  
“You honestly have no idea how weird it still is for me,” Jinhwan replied, “Bobby's never done _cute_ before with any of his exes. I mean, to be honest with you I think he actually broke up with one of them for something like that? Drawing too much attention to the relationship when they were out in public. And now there he is, sending you finger hearts after the game.”  
  
Hanbin looked at Jinhwan in curiosity. “Did he really?”  
  
“Yeah, he did. Then again, he was getting a lot of hell from the guys about being gay, so I don't think he was really comfortable with the whole idea himself just yet. Seems pretty comfortable now, though, with you.” Jinhwan watched as the smile on Hanbin's face grew into something ridiculous. It reminded him a lot of the way he'd catch himself smiling sometimes when he'd been with Eric.  
  
Hanbin's eyes were glued to Bobby as he made the rounds to his teammates, congratulating them on a hard won game. Hanbin liked seeing him like this, in charge and being a good example for his squad. Hanbin really valued leadership, thought it was an attractive quality. “That makes sense, actually. I've been wondering about that, since it's not the first time you've mentioned it. Why is he so different with me? That makes a lot of sense, if he was getting grief about it."  
  
“True, but I also think a big part of it is just you. You're a different guy than his exes, different personality type. You meet much higher standards.” Jinhwan said teasingly, and Hanbin grinned.  
  
“Ah stop it, hyung! At this rate you're gonna have me thinking I'm too good for him!” Hanbin teased back, and when Jinhwan leaned in close to him and whispered _“You are!”_ it set them both laughing. Seconds later and Hanbin's eyes were drawn to Bobby, who was making his way up the stairs towards them. Hanbin's heart pounded as he watched him come closer, and he wondered if Bobby would always make him feel this excited? He hoped so.  
  
“Alright, let's hear it, how amazing was I?” Bobby asked, stopping right in front of Hanbin, reaching out and taking his hands.  
  
Hanbin stared up at him and winked. “You played really great this game, hyung! If only you'd played this way two weeks ago, maybe you would have beaten my team.”  
  
Bobby shook his head and smiled at the comment, squeezing Hanbin's fingers hard enough to make him squirm. “Don't get mouthy, we're tied on points, now!”  
  
“Only until Saturday!” Hanbin replied, “we'll get our lead back, I'll make sure of it.”  
  
“Speaking of the weekend,” Bobby started, “are you busy on Sunday?”  
  
“Don't really have any plans, other than some schoolwork. Why?” Hanbin asked, intrigued when he noticed that Bobby actually seemed a little _nervous_ about what he was going to ask.  
  
“My grandma is coming to visit, and you can say no if you're busy, it's okay, but mom asked me to ask you if you could come over for lunch.” She'd actually asked for a bit more than just lunch, but Bobby was feeling like maybe what his mother had requested would be a bit too much? They'd barely been dating for a month, after all!  
  
“That's not all she wanted! Go on, Bobby, ask him for the other thing!” Jinhwan teased. He knew exactly what Bobby's mother had requested, and he was curious to see how Hanbin would react.  
  
“What other thing?” Hanbin asked, already feeling happy about getting a lunch invitation. He knew Bobby was very close to his grandmother, and he was looking forward to meeting her.  
  
Bobby looked like he was ready to murder Jinhwan, though. “Uh, like I said, you don't have to come, like if you're busy, that's okay, it's kind of short notice--”

“Stop stalling!” Jinhwan interrupted, amused that Bobby was so afraid to ask.  
  
Bobby glared at Jinhwan, annoyed at how casual he was about the whole thing. One squeeze of his fingers from Hanbin had Bobby refocusing his attention, and he smiled at Hanbin before finally asking. “She wanted to know if you wanted to go to church with us? Since my grandma's coming, it would be nice, she thought. Because my grandma, well, she never met any of my exes. Actually the whole gay thing was a little hard for her.”  
  
Hanbin couldn't answer at first, he was shocked at the request. Even more shocked at the explanation, and a little sad that this had obviously come between Bobby and his grandmother, at least to some degree. But if his mom was inviting him, that probably meant that Bobby's grandmother wanted to fully support him now? And maybe they wanted him to go to church with them to make a good first impression?  
  
Each second that Hanbin didn't answer had Bobby's stomach twisting into an even bigger knot. This was too much. It was too heavy of a request, honestly! Truth is that Bobby didn't even know what religion Hanbin followed—or if he was even religious at all! He'd never mentioned church, never wore any religious symbols. What if he refused? This was the first chance Bobby was going to get at showing his grandmother how amazing his boyfriend was, but only if Hanbin agreed.  
  
Hanbin nodded and fixed Bobby with a bright smile. “Of course I'll go!”  
  
Bobby felt like collapsing down to his knees, he was so grateful. “Really? You don't mind?”  
  
Hanbin squeezed his hands again. “Not at all! I'm happy to do it.”  
  
Beside them Jinhwan laughed. “I can't believe you got a church request already, Hanbin! No pressure or anything, right?” He couldn't help but tease, winking at Bobby.  
  
“Shut up, Jinan! It's for my grandmother!”  
  
Jinhwan shook his head. “Watch, she'll be inviting your parents for dinner next!”  
  
Hanbin laughed at Jinhwan's teasing. It was a little much, now that he thought about it. But it was a good thing, wasn't it? If Bobby's mom didn't like him, she wouldn't have even brought it up, would she? This meant that she approved of their relationship, that she wanted them to be together.  
  
Bobby wanted to punch Jinhwan for being annoying, but instead he watched Hanbin's face, trying to gauge if he really was happy about the situation. Bobby thought that he had to be, because Hanbin was _beaming_ at him. You couldn't fake that kind of happiness.  
  
“You sure it's cool?” Bobby asked one last time, and Hanbin nodded.  
  
“Yeah, but it's been years since I've been to church, so you'll have to give me a crash course so I don't screw it up.”  
  
Bobby grinned and pulled Hanbin up to his feet. “Deal.” He wrapped his arms around Hanbin's back and kissed him, and he really didn't care who was there to watch. His teammates were going to have to learn who Hanbin was eventually, and Bobby wasn't really willing to wait until the season was over anymore.

 


	24. Soft Touch, Raw Nerve

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Junhoe's chat with Yejin, and Hanbin's church date with Bobby's family.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back! A little late, but it's a long weekend for me. ;)
> 
> Thank you for your patience though! For those of you who asked—GD was amazing!! I'm so happy I got the chance to see him on this tour. It was everything I'd been hoping for, he's fantastic. ♥♥♥
> 
> Work wasn't any easier on me this past week. I'm hoping this upcoming week will be a little better, since I've reshuffled some of my duties at work, so hopefully I won't be working late anymore. If it's not any better though I might have to delay next week again. I know you guys say it doesn't matter, but when I post something on a weekly schedule, I like to let people know if I have to skip a week. It's only polite. :)
> 
> Anyway, getting to this chapter: I originally wasn't going to write the first scene with Junhoe and Yejin. But then Junhoe went on vacation with his family and we got those pictures of them together and I couldn't resist. So enjoy some Koo siblings. ♥

Junhoe almost didn't want Yunhyeong to leave, delaying him with questions about his actual homework. Why was his sister even still here, anyway? She usually didn't stay at their place during the week, preferring her apartment that was closer to campus. Junhoe did not want to talk to his sister about what she'd overheard. What was he even supposed to tell her? It wasn't a conversation for siblings.  
  
Yunhyeong left a half hour later then he was supposed to, and it was like he understood why Junhoe was trying to delay him. But Yunhyeong's sympathy only extended so far.  
  
“Look, unless you yourself want to pay me extra, I have to go. I actually have my own homework to do.”  
  
“Stay here and do it,” Junhoe replied, “I won't bother you.”  
  
“Yejin's not gonna let this go,” Yunhyeong replied, “even if you put her off tonight, she's not going to forget what she heard. Might as well get it over with.”  
  
Junhoe watched as Yunhyeong packed his things up, feeling nervous. What was he going to say to her? Yunhyeong was right—his sister wasn't just going to let this go. She liked to stick her nose into his business, and he rarely ever had business going on, so of course she was going to pounce on this opportunity.  
  
“Good luck, Junhoe! See you next week!” Yunhyeong waved to him from the door, and Junhoe frowned at him. Almost as soon as he left Yejin was standing there at his door.  
  
“You ready for our chat?” She asked, and Junhoe glared at her.  
  
“This is unnecessary, okay? I know what you heard, but it's not what you think.”  
  
Yejin came into his room fully and shut the door behind herself. “I'll be the judge of that, dork. Now move over and tell me everything.” She sat down on the bed next to him, and Junhoe felt so uncomfortable at the prospect of talking to his sister about whatever it was that he had going on with Jinhwan.  
  
“Junhoe-ya? Tonight, before I go home.” She looked at him but he refused to meet her eyes. “Listen, I just want to do my big sister duty and talk to you about things that you need to talk about, and I don't think you want to talk to mom and dad, do you?”  
  
“No, and I don't want to talk to you either, though. It's just as weird.”  
  
Yejin laughed at his response. “Oh come on! Like you, I also date guys,” she said, “so I am probably a good source of information.”  
  
“Noona, maybe you overlooked this, but uh, I'm a _guy_ dating a _guy_ , which is different than you dating one.” Junhoe could feel his own face get hot when he said it, and he hated that he got embarrassed about this stuff so easily.  
  
“You might be surprised at how not different certain things can be,” Yejin said, grinning when she felt Junhoe stiffen next to her, “oh come on, don't be a prude.”  
  
“No offense but I really don't want to think about you, you know--” Junhoe couldn't even bring himself to say it. Nope. This was his _sister_ , they were not going to talk about her.  
  
“About me what? Having _sex?”_ Yejin mimicked his awkward tone from his conversation with Yunhyeong earlier, laughing when he whined. “If you're too much of a baby to even _talk_ about sex, you are too much of a baby to be _having_ it.”  
  
She used her serious _noona_ tone for that last line, and it sobered Junhoe up. She had a point. As weird as it was to discuss this topic with her, he probably should try and be a little more mature about it. “It's not that, it's just, it's just weird.”  
  
“I understand,” Yejin's tone softened when she answered him, “you've always had an awkward time talking about serious things. So let's just cut to the chase, alright? Are you actually in a friends with benefits kind of relationship with someone? Or did I hear incorrectly?”  
  
Oh God had she heard _that_ part of the conversation?! “Uh, well, it's not that I am--”  
  
“A simple yes or no will suffice, Junhoe-ya.”  
  
Junhoe swallowed nervously; this conversation was just moving too quickly!  
  
“Junhoe? Tell me the truth, or I will say something to mom. I know you don't really want to talk to me, but we both know which option is the worse one for you, don't we?”  
  
Junhoe shook his head. His sister could really play dirty when she had to. “I kind of am? With, ah, with--” did he really have to tell her who it was with?  
  
“With who? Do I know him?”  
  
Junhoe nodded, but he couldn't bring himself to look at her. What was she going to say? She was going to have a problem with it, wasn't she?  
  
“Junhoe? His name?”  
  
He took a deep breath before going for it. “It's Jinhwan hyung.”  
  
Yejin was silent, staring at the wall for a moment before finally looking at him. “The guy from jiu jitsu? The one you hated a month ago?” Junhoe nodded, and was surprised when Yejin actually laughed.  
  
He finally looked at her, curious about her response. “Why is that so funny?”  
  
Yejin just shook her head. “You always get yourself into the weirdest situations,” she answered, interrupted by her own laughter. Junhoe waited for her to continue, because he'd been expecting her to protest from the start, but laughter was unexpected.  
  
“Ah, Junhoe. Does Hanbin know?”  
  
“No!” Yejin laughed even harder at his answer, and it actually annoyed him a little. “Noona, can you take this seriously?”  
  
Yejin stopped laughing and met his glaring expression. “Sorry, this is just really funny to me. You threw such a hissy fit when Hanbin started dating Bobby, all because of Jinhwan. And now you're, doing whatever it is you're doing _with_ Jinhwan. Hanbin's gonna be pissed when he finds out, isn't he?”  
  
“No he won't be!” Junhoe replied, defensive right away. “We've been friends for weeks, now!” God, but Hanbin would actually be _happy_ if he ever found out. “He's never finding out, by the way.”  
  
“Why not?”  
  
“Are you kidding? He'd be unbearable!” Junhoe was _never_ telling Hanbin. Not after hearing Hanbin say that he thought they'd make a good couple. Maybe, if Jinhwan ever changed his mind about dating. Maybe. But he wasn't going to, so Junhoe wasn't going to say anything.  
  
“So, who do you have to talk to, about this stuff? Because I'm pretty sure you don't actually know what you're doing, do you?” Yejin winced as she said it, certain Junhoe would probably get defensive again.  
  
Junhoe bristled, his face going red. “Jinhwan knows what he's doing.” Oh God it was so embarrassing to admit it! It shouldn't be, though. He was only seventeen. Most people his age didn't know what they were doing. There was no shame in it. None at all.  
  
“Ah, so it's _that_ kind of relationship! That's good, actually, it's good to have someone teach you things without feelings getting in the way.” Yejin patted his leg and grinned when he gave her a questioning look. “What? You wanna say something?”  
  
Junhoe shook his head, because it was just weird to hear his sister talk about this sort of stuff so casually. Weren't girls all about love and romance and sex being all about deep connections?  
  
“Listen, I know everyone always says that sex should be sacred and shared between two people deeply in love, but to be honest? If you just wait to find someone you're in love with, but that person doesn't know _anything,_ then it kind of sucks, no matter how much you love each other. Trust me, speaking from experience.” She grinned when Junhoe choked on nothing but air. “Unless you find someone who's really into researching about things, it's gonna be terrible. That's just life, no one is perfect at something new right away. But I'll put it to you like this. If you had a friend who wanted to get into jiu jitsu, would you tell them to go out and fight someone in a match right away?”  
  
“Without training?” Junhoe asked, “of course not!”  
  
“Think of sex the same way. If you want to be good at it, you need to find someone that can teach you what you need to know. So what I'm trying to say is that I approve of this set up. Just be smart about it, okay?” She grinned at the look on his face—slightly mortified, slightly understanding—and was glad that he was at least taking in some of what she was saying. “And be safe, too. Always use condoms.”  
  
Junhoe felt like his head was about to explode. He was trying to be cool about the conversation, but this was almost too much. “Okay, I got it, can you please stop?”  
  
Yejin frowned at his request. “What, is a woman not supposed to talk about this stuff?”  
  
“No!” Junhoe didn't want to offend her. “It's just that, well, you're my sister, and it's just weird to hear you talk about this stuff so casually.”  
  
“I'm your _older_ sister, Junhoe. If you're concerned about me, then you should be happy that I can talk about this so casually, because it means that _I'm_ being safe. Plenty of guys try to take advantage of women, because we're not supposed to talk about this stuff, and we're not supposed to show that we know anything until we're married. That's bullshit, and even though you're gay, I don't want you to have that attitude. God help any girls that want to be your friend, but I'd hope you'd be the kind of guy that encourages them to be informed about this sort of stuff.”  
  
Junhoe bristled at her mini lecture, and it hit home because there was a lot of truth in it. He didn't really talk about the girls in his class, but he often overheard some of his classmates talk about them, and it wasn't always respectfully. He'd never thought twice about it before though, but maybe he would now. “I'm sorry, noona. You made a good point, I'm sorry if I, uh, made you feel bad, or anything.”  
  
Yejin couldn't help but grin at his response. “It's okay, you're young, you don't always realize the things you do until someone tells you. You mean well, you have a good heart. That's the most important part.”  
  
A moment of silence passed before he looked back at her. “So, you won't tell mom about this?”  
  
She shook her head. “Not a word. Just promise me you'll be safe? And as uncomfortable as it would be for you, if you ever do need someone to talk to, about anything, please talk to me. I always worry about you, regardless of what's going on. I know part of growing up is figuring things out on your own, but sometimes just talking helps. Don't forget that, okay?” She stood up and laid a hand on his head, leaning down to plant a little kiss on his forehead. “Love you, Junhoe. I'll leave you be to think it all over.”  
  
Junhoe watched her walk to the door, unsure about how he felt about their chat. Maybe it was good that she knew. It was awkward, but if anything happened... Not that anything would. What could possibly happen that would be bad?  
  
“Hey, noona? Uh, thanks for the talk. For all of it, I mean. You gave me some things to think about.” Yejin leaned against the door frame and smiled back at him, and Junhoe thought she almost looked kind of _proud_. “And uh, I love you too.”  
  
She left his room then, and once Junhoe was alone he finally felt comfortable that she'd made him talk about it. He was lucky she was willing to be open with him, because it would have been too easy for her to just tell their parents and be done with it. Instead, he realized, she was _trusting him_ to make a good decision for himself. She wouldn't be doing that if she thought he was just a stupid kid.  
  
Maybe it was weird, but it kind of made him feel a little older, a little more mature.  
  
He went back to homework then, happy when everything was making sense. His work was interrupted by his phone buzzing, and he opened a text from Hanbin.  
  
_'fyi jinan hyung was asking where you were'_  
  
The message made him smile. Not for any romantic reasons, or anything. Of course not. It was just that part of being friends with benefits was being _friends,_ and Junhoe didn't really have that many friends. It was nice to be missed.  
  
He contemplated sending Jinhwan a text, maybe to tease him about asking Hanbin about him. He got as far as opening his messenger, but he just couldn't find the right words, couldn't find a way to say it that didn't sound like he was looking for something more.  
  
So instead he just put his phone away and went back to work.  
  
But still. Jinhwan was looking for him. It was nice.

* * *

  
Hanbin showed up on Sunday morning with flowers for the women, wearing an outfit that made Bobby feel severely under-dressed. But it was good, wasn't it, that Hanbin was trying so hard? He wanted to make a good first impression and Bobby was grateful for it. He greeted him at the door and wanted to pull him in for a kiss, but nerves gripped him too tightly. They'd told his grandmother that she'd be meeting his _boyfriend_ today, and though she'd smiled politely and said she was looking forward to it, Bobby was still nervous. What if she was only pretending to be okay with him being gay? What if she dismissed Hanbin with barely a hello?  
  
He wanted to believe that she was serious about supporting him now, but what if she was only doing it to appease his parents? He hadn't even thought about that until now. What if the whole thing still disappointed her? What if Hanbin met her and she refused to greet him?  
  
He took a deep breath and just took Hanbin's hand, trying to get a grip on himself. This was his _grandmother,_ even if she didn't support Bobby's sexuality, she wasn't a rude person. She'd be polite and welcoming to Hanbin because it was in their nature, his whole family. He was just nervous because the meeting was finally here, and after not worrying much about it all week, suddenly now in front of Hanbin he was clamming up.  
  
He just didn't want Hanbin to get hurt. That's all it was.  
  
Hanbin sensed Bobby's apprehension, and it had him feeling weird and almost a little protective. “Is everything okay?”  
  
Bobby realized that he was projecting his nerves too late, and after Hanbin asked he shook his head and smiled at him. “Yeah it's fine, I'm just nervous for no reason.”  
  
Hanbin smiled back and squeezed his hand. “Lead the way, then.”  
  
Bobby squeezed back. “You look really good, by the way.” If he wasn't so nervous he'd kiss him, but he had a limit at the moment, and he couldn't get himself over it until he saw for himself how welcoming his grandmother was going to be. He led Hanbin into the kitchen, introducing him and smiling when his grandmother made a fuss over getting flowers.  
  
“Oh, such a sweet thing to do! My own grandsons haven't bought me flowers in such a long time, have you, boys?”  
  
Bobby grinned and felt all the tension lift from his shoulders. He never should have been worried. Hanbin had a way with people that Bobby envied—well, maybe not _people_ so much, because Bobby was good with people too. But Hanbin had a way with _adults_ that Bobby couldn't quite figure out.  
  
Bobby was always nervous around adults, even his own parents made him nervous from time to time. But Hanbin was always comfortable, always charming and personable, like every adult he met was his own mother or father. Ten minutes into introducing him, and already Hanbin was sitting next to Bobby's grandmother, telling her all about Hanbyul while she held his hand and smiled warmly at him. Maybe it was cheating, because what grandmother wouldn't be enamoured with a respectful teenage boy who doted on his little sister?  
  
They had tea and Bobby was eventually pulled away from the kitchen by his brother, requesting his help to bring a few bags of clothes to be donated down to their car. Jiun was quick to comment on Hanbin's quick work of their usually protective grandmother.  
  
“I can't believe how fast that happened,” Jiun commented as they made their way down to their van, “she loves him! Hasn't let go of his hand once.”  
  
“I know, right? I was honestly a little worried, I mean he's really good with older people, but you know, I thought she'd be a little weird about it because we're gay. But nope, she was in love right away. I think she likes him more than she likes us.” Bobby joked, and Jiun didn't even dispute it.  
  
“He's good at first impressions, I'll give him that. Maybe it's because he's a guy, I mean it took her weeks before she was friendly with Jeeyoung, remember that?” Jiun opened the trunk and they put their bags in.  
  
“Yeah, and Jeeyoung really went out of her way to be sweet! Maybe she was just wary about her, because she didn't like your other girlfriends? Didn't want to get her hopes up?”  
  
Jiun laughed at the potential explanation. “True, when you put it that way. Mom was kind of the same way. It's funny, though. They were slow to accept Jeeyoung, but Hanbin stole their hearts right away. Mom got her hopes up from the first eye to eye meeting with Hanbin, and now she's pulling him into church with grandma! Anything to make sure you don't get your heart broken with your first _serious_ relationship.”  
  
Bobby glared at his brother for the teasing, though Jiun did have a point. After trying not to pry too much during the first two weeks of the relationship, he'd noticed that his mother was asking after Hanbin all the time now, constantly bringing him up in conversation, trying to be subtle. It was a little weird, but whenever he got annoyed by it Jinhwan told him to be grateful that she didn't have a problem with him and Hanbin.  
  
“Alright, let's get back up there. Hopefully they didn't try to break into some really personal conversational topics since we left him alone.” Jiun locked the van back up, and together they made their way back up to their apartment.  
  
Hanbin was happily conversing about school, and when Bobby teased him and told him to stop being such a nerd because it made him look bad, Hanbin just grinned back at him as Bobby's mother told him that he should take inspiration from Hanbin to do better in school.  
  
They left for church soon after that (the whole family minus Jinhwan, who had music lessons for his upcoming trumpet exam) and they met up with Jeeyoung at the church. She and Hanbin had met briefly once, but she greeted him warmly, asking if he was being treated well by the family.  
  
Jiun and Bobby stood together while their significant others chatted. “Man, I think even Jeeyoung likes Hanbin more than us.” Bobby laughed at his brother's comment, but when he thought about it he felt grateful that Hanbin had such an agreeable personality. He managed to fit in with Bobby's family with ease. Not everyone could do that.  
  
After the greeting Bobby's grandmother latched onto Jeeyoung for a bit, giving Hanbin a minor reprieve and finally allowing Bobby a chance to check on him.  
  
He was fine, of course.  
  
“I like your grandmother! She's really sweet.” Hanbin answered when Bobby asked.  
  
“Good, she really likes you,” Bobby replied, standing next to Hanbin with his hands clasped behind his back, “she wasn't that quick to warm up to any of Jiun's girlfriends.”  
  
“Guess it's my natural charm!” Hanbin teased, relieved to hear it from Bobby. On the outside he'd seemed confident and calm, but on the inside he'd been a nervous wreck all morning, wondering if he was doing a good job, mindful of Bobby's explanation that she'd had a hard time coming to terms with her grandson being gay. He'd been careful not to talk about Bobby too much, wanting to appeal to her as his own person, and not just as Bobby's boyfriend.  
  
“Yeah, something like that, I guess.” Bobby smiled back at him. He wanted to put his arm around Hanbin's shoulders, felt weird standing next to him without touching him. But church wasn't the place for that. They went in to take their seats and Bobby was relieved when his mother told he and his brother to share the pew behind them. It was sure to take a bit of pressure off of Hanbin, not having eyes on him constantly.  
  
Hanbin finally felt like he could breathe when they sat down. He was in between Bobby and the wall, and he was happy with that, not wanting the added pressure of a stranger on his other side. When he'd told Bobby that it had been a few years since he'd _been to the church_ it hadn't been a lie, but he'd neglected to mention that it had been for a wedding and hadn't been a regular service.  
  
In truth it had been seven years since he'd last attended a regular church service. His parents weren't really that religious, and neither was he, and if Hanbin had to pick a religion to identify with, he'd actually say that he was a Buddhist. He was only familiar with Christian church practices because, for a year when he was nine years old, he'd decided that he wanted to be Christian, like Junhoe. His parents had let him do it, supporting his own exploration into religion.  
  
He'd given it up after a year, though, too many questions without answers weighing on his ten year old brain. After numerous weeks asking his father questions about God and the creation of the Earth, his father had finally offered him another philosophy that suited his line of thinking much better: _Who says the world needed a beginning at all? Why do you worry about the beginning or the end, when you should just worry about your time now?_ Since that day Hanbin had given up on following Junhoe to church. He told him that he still believed in God, because it was easier than explaining what he really thought.  
  
The church had good teachings, though, for the most part, so Hanbin didn't have a problem with any of it. He thought it would be nice to sit through a peaceful sermon and reflect for an hour. Without thinking about it he reached out and took Bobby's hand in his own, squeezing it lightly.  
  
Bobby tensed when Hanbin took his hand, and even though no one save Jiun might see it, he still panicked and pulled his hand back. He wasn't really _out_ at church, had no idea if his pastor knew, no idea if his parents had told any of their church friends. Everyone knew that Jinhwan was a family friend who lived with them, but this was the first time he was ever bringing a guy that wasn't Jinhwan. It probably already seemed a little weird to anyone who was used to seeing him. He glanced at Hanbin and shook his head, hoped that he wouldn't take it personally.  
  
Hanbin had taken it personally at first, but when he met Bobby's eyes he realized that it probably wasn't the smartest thing to do, flaunting something that might upset other people. He smiled sheepishly back at Bobby and mouthed an apology. There was a time and a place for hand holding, and church definitely wasn't it. He'd just gotten so used to always holding Bobby's hand that it felt weird to sit next to him and keep his hands to himself.  
  
He tried to distract himself with the sermon, listening to the pastor speaking. It was calm and peaceful and Hanbin listened intently at first, but eventually his mind started wandering. He looked at Bobby, who was paying close attention. Hanbin thought it was cute. Bobby actually had a very short attention span usually, but he somehow managed to remain focused throughout the entire sermon.  
  
When it was over they hung around the church for a bit, Bobby's parents making conversation with a few other older couples while his grandmother spoke to the pastor. Bobby was feeling calm but a little nervous, especially when he noticed that his grandmother and their pastor kept glancing his way during their conversation.  
  
Was she telling him? Was she trying to get his blessing for him? Bobby felt a little sick to his stomach, because he had no idea what the pastor's reaction would be. He'd known Father Lee for the past ten years ever since he'd taken over at their church, and he always spoke kindly to Bobby. What if he was against it, though? What if he was so against it he'd have Bobby barred from coming to church unless he renounced his feelings? It was easy to hope for someone to support you when you didn't know their opinion, but the reality was that a lot of people still thought it was a sin, still thought there was something wrong with it.  
  
Of course not everyone did, and there were churches that openly supported the gay community. Maybe it was equally as bad of him to expect that everyone would refuse to support him. But still. What if his pastor didn't? What if he was about to make everything tough on his family?  
  
“Hey, you okay?”  
  
Bobby was startled out of his thought by his brother. Jiun looked at him with concerned eyes, laying a hand on his shoulder. Bobby wondered what kind of expression he'd been wearing for Jiun to come over and inquire. Before answering he glanced around, relieved when he saw that Hanbin was in a lively discussion with Jeeyoung, and that no one was close enough to overhear their conversation.  
  
“I'm good, hyung.”  
  
Jiun wasn't convinced, though. “You sure? You're quiet, and you've got that look on your face,” Jiun spoke in hushed tones, “you know the one you get when you've done something wrong and you're waiting for mom to notice.”  
  
Shit. He hadn't even realized he'd been that worried. “Ah, really? I'm okay.”  
  
Jiun looked over at their grandmother, who was still talking to their pastor. “Nervous about their conversation? You keep looking at them.”  
  
Bobby shrugged. “I don't think he knows about me, and I just hope that she's not telling him.”  
  
Jiun nodded and put his arm around Bobby's shoulders. “I'm sure she's not, Jiwon, but he probably did ask her about Hanbin. You know he likes to know about newcomers to the service, and he was sitting next to you, and now he's talking to Jeeyoung. He's used to seeing Jinhwan, but he's never seen Hanbin before. Probably just curious.” Jiun ruffled his hair. “Don't worry about it, though.”  
  
Bobby felt a little better at his brother's words. “I guess I'm just afraid of messing things up.”  
  
“There's nothing to mess up, Jiwon. Don't stand around looking guilty when you're not doing anything wrong.” Jiun's arm tightened around his shoulder. “If anyone does have a problem with you and Hanbin, well it's their problem, not ours.”  
  
Bobby felt grateful for his brother. When they were younger Bobby used to go to Jiun all the time, looking for support and protection. It had been a while since he'd needed it, but it still felt just as good to know Jiun was still there for him. “Thanks, hyung.” They moved closer to Hanbin and Jeeyoung, and Bobby was tempted to put his arm around Hanbin's shoulders.  
  
He looked back at his grandmother, but he wasn't being watched anymore. Maybe she hadn't been telling his secret? Maybe he'd been worrying over nothing. He still kept his hand to himself, though. Maybe next time.

* * *

  
Jinhwan returned from his trumpet lesson when they were mid-way through lunch, walking into the dining room and heading over to give Bobby's grandmother a hug before he did anything else.  
  
“How was your lesson this morning, Jinhwan-ie? We missed you at church, Father Lee asked me why you weren't there,” she asked him as she ladled him a bowl of kimchi stew.  
  
“It went well, I think I'll pass my exam without a problem. My lips are tired, though.” He'd performed his piece flawlessly a few times through, though there was still one passage he occasionally had trouble with. He was getting better with it.  
  
“My poor boy, eat up and be healthy!”  
  
“I will, thank you!” He looked across the table at Hanbin, who was grinning at him. Jinhwan had already gotten a text from Bobby, telling him that Hanbin had handled church like a pro. Jinhwan still wanted to ask, anyway. “How was church?”  
  
Hanbin smiled back at him. “It was nice! Calm and relaxing. It was a little weird seeing Bobby so focused, though.” Hanbin smiled at Bobby, who shook his head.  
  
“I know, right? It's bizarre!”  
  
“Both of you, quiet.” Bobby grumbled at them.  
  
“It's true! Normally you have a super short attention span. You should see him in class...” Jinhwan teased, grinning when Bobby kicked him under the table.  
  
“Jinan! Shut up.”  
  
“What's he like in class?” Bobby's mother asked, looking pointedly at Jinhwan.  
  
Jinhwan looked at Bobby before looking back at his mother. “He's a model student.” They all laughed at the comment.  
  
“Ah, don't lie! I've seen his report cards!” Bobby's mother teased. “I'm hoping that Hanbin might influence him to be a better student.”  
  
Bobby shook his head while Hanbin grinned and reached out to pat Bobby's head. “I'll start organizing study dates, Mrs. Kim.”  
  
Bobby swatted his hand away. “You will not! We're not in the same grade, it would be useless.”  
  
“He'd probably understand the work quicker than either of us,” Jinhwan butted in, “Hanbin's super smart!”  
  
“Not helping, Jinan!” Bobby replied, only pretending to be annoyed.  
  
“Jinan-ie hyung's right, if you ever want a tutor let me know, just give me a day to read your text book first.” Hanbin couldn't help but tease, leaning in close to him.  
  
“Ah, this kid! You're pushing it.” Bobby replied. Hanbin winked at him before laying a hand on his leg and squeezing. Bobby caught his hand, but this time he was happy to hold it.  
  
“Oh, Hanbin? Are you free on Thursday night?” Jinhwan asked.  
  
“I guess, wasn't doing anything except studying. Why?”  
  
“Remember that violinist I mentioned, Amadeus Leopold? Well, Seiyeon called me when I was on my way back and she can't come to the show, so I have a free ticket. I thought you'd probably enjoy it more that anyone else, so I thought I'd ask if you wanted to go.” He'd thought about inviting Junhoe, but he'd remembered how much Hanbin had liked him. Besides, inviting Junhoe on his own would almost be like a date, right? He didn't want to promote that sort of interaction so soon. It might get confusing for Junhoe.  
  
“Are you serious?” Hanbin asked, mouth open in shock. “If you're teasing me I might cry. I keep watching that video of his!”  
  
Jinhwan smiled at him, happy to hear it. “Yeah I'm serious! If you wanna go, I'll bring you.” Jinhwan was excited that Hanbin was still into it. He glanced at Bobby then, but was surprised to see his face drawn in a tight pinch. Jinhwan knew that expression. It was the one Bobby wore when he was angry but trying to keep it hidden. Maybe he should have run the invite by Bobby first.  
  
“Ah hyung, thanks for inviting me!” Hanbin almost couldn't believe his luck. Maybe the concert offer was like cosmic karma for making such a good impression on Bobby's grandmother and getting through church? Because Hanbin hadn't been lying, he really had watched the video quite a few times.  
  
Bobby was every bit as annoyed with the invite as he looked. What did Jinhwan think he was doing, inviting Hanbin without asking him first? Hanbin was _his_ boyfriend, and as much as Bobby liked that they were friends, it just felt weird. Bobby should be the one taking Hanbin out to things like concerts, and here was Jinhwan, stealing his thunder?  
  
The longer Bobby wore that angry look, the worse Jinhwan felt. He definitely should have asked. Then again, was it really such a bad thing? Shouldn't Bobby be happy that he was doing something nice for Hanbin? Jinhwan could have invited anyone. But he'd known that Hanbin would enjoy it the most. He hadn't been wrong, had he? “You don't mind, Bobby, do you?”  
  
Bobby shook his head, but he refused to look at Jinhwan, instead picking up his spoon and going for another bite of kimchi stew. “Why would I? You guys are friends, it's cool.”  
  
It _was_ a problem, and Jinhwan knew that Bobby probably wouldn't let it go right away. It was rare that they ever got upset with each other. He wasn't looking forward to trying to mend this. He'd drop it for now, though, because he didn't want Hanbin to think anything was wrong.  
  
“I think it's very sweet of you to invite Hanbin, Jinhwan-ie!” Bobby's mother smiled at him in that proud mother sort of way, and it almost made Jinhwan feel even worse. He was definitely going to have to do something big to smooth it over with Bobby.  
  
“Ah, it's not that big of a deal! I'd have invited Bobby, but he wasn't really enchanted by the guy.” Jinhwan hoped his teasing comment wouldn't bother Bobby more.  
  
Bobby just wanted them all to shut up about the stupid concert. Whatever. It wasn't that big of a deal! It's not like Jinhwan had specifically bought a ticket for Hanbin. It was originally a present from Seiyeon, so really it was like Seiyeon was taking him. Bobby _wished_ that it was Seiyeon who was taking Hanbin. If Jinhwan had just _asked_ him first, he wouldn't be upset.  
  
Would he? It's not like he had a problem with Jinhwan and Hanbin hanging out together. They'd gone to his basketball game together. It was good that they were friends. The problem, really, was that it was a concert. He hadn't taken Hanbin anywhere special since they'd started dating, and now Jinhwan was taking him to a show. And it wasn't just any old concert, either. It was some fancy violinist that Bobby didn't even care about. Some artsy thing that he apparently wasn't _cultured_ enough to appreciate.  
  
He was distracted out of his thoughts by Hanbin's hand that was back on his leg, and when he finally looked up from his plate he was met with his favourite smiling face and he couldn't help but smile back at him.  
  
Ah, he was being stupid. Hanbin was _happy,_ did it really matter that Jinhwan hadn't asked him first? Maybe it was just a sign that Jinhwan felt comfortable enough with Hanbin that he thought of him as a friend first instead of as Bobby's boyfriend. That was good, right? Jinhwan was his best friend, he didn't want him to feel like he wasn't allowed to hang out with Hanbin. Bobby wasn't that kind of guy.  
  
When Jinhwan finished eating Bobby's mother excused the three of them from the table, letting them retreat back to Bobby's room. Hanbin was grateful for the reprieve. He was sure the morning had gone well, but he still felt exhausted after it all. As soon as they got to Bobby's room he face planted into Bobby's pillow.  
  
Jinhwan flopped down next to him. “Congratulations, Hanbin-ah! You survived the grandmother test!”  
  
Hanbin grinned back. “Thanks, hyung! I feel like I just ran a marathon.”  
  
Jinhwan patted his head. “Oh come on, it wasn't that bad, was it? She loved you, didn't she?” Jinhwan looked up at Bobby, who grinned down at them, no trace of anger on his face anymore.  
  
“You did good, Bin! She adores you, honestly.”  
  
Hanbin smiled back at him, pleased to hear it. “I think I deserve a reward for getting through that.”  
  
“Oh yeah? What do you want as your reward?” Bobby asked, and he already had a few ideas running through his head.  
  
“I don't know, what do you have on offer?” Hanbin replied.  
  
Bobby grinned back at him before looking pointedly at Jinhwan.  
  
Jinhwan grinned back at him. “Oh, is that my cue to leave?” He asked, and while he'd usually protest and stick around just to annoy Bobby, he figured he'd be nice this time and leave. He owed him for the concert invite, at least.  
  
“Yeah, either get out on your own or I'll throw you out myself.” Bobby replied, and he was a little surprised when Jinhwan actually got up and headed for the door without a fight.  
  
“Alright, I'll be nice, but only for Hanbin! I'm not doing you any favours.” Jinhwan winked at Bobby before waving to Hanbin. “Don't do anything dirty, though! Your whole family's still here, don't forget.” Jinhwan teased before disappearing behind the door.  
  
Bobby looked back down at Hanbin then, whose eyes were on him. “So, what do I do with you now?” Bobby asked, kneeling down on the bed next to Hanbin.  
  
“You heard Jinan, nothing dirty!” Hanbin teased, but seconds later and Bobby was on top of him, lips pressed over his own, cutting off any further commentary. They kissed for a few minutes, both caught up in a bit of privacy after spending the entire morning barely able to touch one another. It wasn't until Hanbin felt Bobby's hand settle in between his legs that he thought again about Jinhwan's warning.  
  
“Bobby--”  
  
But Bobby cut him off with another kiss, his hand squeezing tighter, and even though Hanbin really wanted him to keep doing what he was doing, he couldn't help but think about Bobby's parents, about his grandmother, all just down the hall. He couldn't take that chance, not after this morning.  
  
Grudgingly he pushed Bobby back. “We shouldn't,” he said, frowning when Bobby just tried to kiss him again, “hyung, I mean it.”  
  
Bobby finally quit pushing. “It's fine, Hanbin, no one's gonna bother us.”  
  
“You don't know that,” Hanbin replied, “your door doesn't lock and the hallway's got a carpet, so we wouldn't even hear anyone coming.”  
  
“It doesn't matter,” Bobby said, “honestly we're fine, and even if anyone does come in, well, I'll take the heat for it, it's my house.”  
  
“I don't want your family to think poorly of me.” Hanbin replied, frustrated that Bobby wasn't taking his concerns seriously.  
  
“They won't, they adore you.” Bobby said, frustrated with the interruption. This always seemed to happen, almost _every time_ he ever tried to make out with Hanbin. Didn't Hanbin want this too? Why was he always so concerned about getting caught by someone?  
  
“But what if they walk in and see me with your hand down my pants?” Hanbin replied, and he was honestly a little surprised that Bobby was willing to push like this with his _grandmother_ here. His parents were one thing, but his grandmother?  
  
Bobby sighed in frustration before moving off of him. “Fine. You don't want to make out, you could have just said so, instead of making me think that you wanted to.”  
  
“I do want to!” Hanbin replied, sitting up next to him.  
  
“You sure about that?” Bobby asked, and maybe it came out sounding a little more accusatory than it should have. But he'd spent _weeks_ already dying to do more with Hanbin than just kiss. It was getting frustrating to continually be turned down.  
  
Hanbin felt hurt by the question. Was Bobby really questioning his interest? “Why would you even say that? Of course I want to!”  
  
Bobby shrugged, and he couldn't stop himself before speaking. “It just feels like every time I try to make a move on you, you keep pushing me away.” Bobby couldn't look at him while he said it, though, because in reality it was something he was actually a little afraid of. What if Hanbin wasn't actually _attracted_ to him, physically? Hanbin was into it when they were kissing, but the second Bobby tried to do anything more, Hanbin was always protesting. Wasn't he feeling as desperate as Bobby was?  
  
“That's because there's always someone around!” Hanbin replied, frustration creeping into his tone. He was still hurt by the accusation, even though he knew that there was some degree of truth to it.  
  
“Well, I'm telling you that it's not a problem, and you're not even willing to give me a _minute._ I'm not used to being pushed away, Hanbin.” Bobby didn't even realize what he'd said, not even when Hanbin suddenly got up from the bed. “Hey, where are you going?”  
  
Hanbin didn't want to answer, could barely think past Bobby's comment. _I'm not used to being pushed away._ Was it that much of a problem for him, that they hadn't done anything serious yet? He'd just spent the morning _at church_ with Bobby's family, but suddenly he was a problem because he didn't want to get caught by that same family?  
  
“Hanbin?” Bobby got up and followed him to the door, grabbing his arm when Hanbin reached for the doorknob.  
  
“Maybe I should just go home.” Hanbin didn't look at him, _couldn't_ look at him.  
  
Bobby felt like shit when he heard the hurt in Hanbin's voice, though he wasn't entirely certain what he'd done. “No, you're not leaving. I'm sorry, okay? Whatever I said, I'm sorry.”  
  
“That's a shitty apology.” Hanbin grumbled, torn between wanting to stay and wanting to leave. He'd never been very good at turning the other cheek and accepting mistreatment from anyone, and the topic was sensitive for him after his relationship with Woosung.  
  
Bobby bit the inside of his cheek, frustrated but not saying it. He didn't necessarily think that he'd done anything worthy of apologizing for, and usually he avoided apologies altogether because he was terrible at them. But he wasn't willing to avoid Hanbin. “Hanbin? I'm sorry, but, I'm not really sure what you're so upset about. Can you tell me, please?”  
  
Hanbin bristled at the comment. He nearly pulled his arm away, determined to leave. But he thought about what Bobby had said and was hit with a very good reminder that Bobby was _not_ Woosung. Bobby was asking him what he was upset about, he wanted to know, wanted to try and fix it instead of just insisting that Hanbin was wrong. He couldn't let their first ever argument ruin what had been an excellent morning.  
  
He turned around to face him, leaning back against the wall. “It really bothers you, doesn't it? That we haven't done anything serious?”  
  
Bobby's first instinct was to lie, to say that he was just frustrated after a long morning. But there was an odd sort of vulnerability between them at the moment, and he thought that lying might just make things worse. “Yeah, I guess it kind of does.” He felt like a jerk as soon as he said it.  
  
Hanbin nodded. The answer just made him nervous all over again, made him think about how things had ended with Woosung. That's not how they'd go with Bobby, though, the situation was different, his own feelings were different. It still hurt to hear it, though. “I'm sorry that I'm not giving you what you want--”  
  
“No, Hanbin, it's okay.”  
  
“It's not okay, Bobby. You said it yourself— _I'm not used to being pushed away._ Clearly you're used to getting more out of a guy.” Hanbin watched as realization dawned over Bobby's face. It looked genuine.  
  
“Shit, that was thoughtless of me, I shouldn't have said that.” Bobby felt like kicking his own ass, now that he realized what he'd said to upset Hanbin. “Listen, I'd rather get pushed away by you every day then get it from someone else, okay?” He actually meant it, and the realization of just how serious his feelings for Hanbin were starting to get kind of shocked him.  
  
“You believe me when I say that I want it, right?” Hanbin was surprised to see uncertainty in Bobby's eyes. “You're not the only one that's frustrated. But are you honestly okay with your mom possibly walking in on us?”  
  
Bobby didn't want to admit that he wasn't confident in Hanbin's level of attraction to him, but he saw the truth in Hanbin's eyes. He was just being an idiot. He grinned when Hanbin brought up his mom. “No, I'm not really okay with it, I was just thinking with the wrong head.” He laughed when Hanbin shook his head. “I'm sorry, Bin.”  
  
“You've never reacted like that before, though. I feel like you were really upset with me.” Hanbin couldn't just let it go so easily.  
  
Bobby frowned at the comment, because he really didn't want to admit to Hanbin what the cause of his issue was today. “Yeah, I guess I just really wanted to do something nice for you today.”  
  
“Why, because of church?” Hanbin asked, surprised at his answer.  
  
Bobby thought about using the offered excuse, but he was terrible at lying. He could never keep his story straight, and Hanbin remembered everything. “No, because Jinan is taking you to that concert on Thursday.”  
  
Hanbin wasn't expecting that answer, and it took him a moment to figure out a response. “What does that have to do with anything?”  
  
“Because I haven't done anything special for you! I should be the one taking you to concerts. But I haven't done anything, and I just wanted to do _something_ for you, something that no one else could do.” God, why did admitting that make him feel so vulnerable?  
  
Hanbin was surprised at the admission. On one hand, he thought it was stupid. But on the other... “You don't have to do anything special for me. I mean I haven't done anything special for you, either, if we're keeping tabs.”  
  
Bobby shook his head. “Yeah well, that was all good and fine until today. I know it's probably stupid, but it bothered me, okay?”  
  
“Did he ask you if he could ask me?” Hanbin said, wondering if that was the problem.  
  
“No. It came as a surprise.” Bobby watched him, wondered if Hanbin that he was stupid for letting it bother him.  
  
Hanbin didn't think it was stupid, though. Well, he kind of thought it was stupid. But he understood why it might bother Bobby. “It wouldn't have bothered you if he'd asked you, right?”  
  
Bobby nodded. “I'd probably have been okay with it, I mean, it's something you want to see, right? I want you to go see this violin guy. Just because I can't take you, doesn't mean you shouldn't go. I probably wouldn't really enjoy it, so it's better for you to go with Jinan.”  
  
Hanbin felt better about everything after hearing Bobby admit how he was feeling. They clearly still needed to do something about their other issue, but for now he was feeling better. “Thanks for telling me how you feel.”  
  
“Thanks for not leaving,” Bobby replied, bringing his hands up to cup Hanbin's cheeks, “I'm sorry I got in my own way earlier.” He kissed Hanbin softly, surprisingly content with just that. Hanbin slid his arms around his back, and Bobby leaned into him.  
  
Hanbin hugged him tightly, relieved they'd worked through their problems. He didn't like the idea of fighting with Bobby, it made him exhausted all over again. But things were okay now. Time to move on.  
  
“So, you know in a week's time, one of us is going to be able to do something nice for the other,” he said, “because our bet's gonna be up.”  
  
“Oh is it?” Bobby asked, because he'd actually forgotten about the bet. “Kinda looks like I might win it, at this rate.”  
  
Hanbin frowned. “There's still a week left.”  
  
“I expect somewhere really fancy,” Bobby teased, “your family's got way more money than mine.”  
  
“Not fair!” Hanbin replied.  
  
“Dessert will be free, though.” Bobby said, sliding his hands down to Hanbin's waist.  
  
Hanbin glanced at the door, making a split second decision that he really hoped he wasn't going to regret. “You can have some dessert right now, if you're still hungry.” Bobby's eyes widened almost comically, and Hanbin was quick to list his caveat. “One condition, though. We do it right here.”  
  
“Why right here?” Bobby asked, curious.  
  
“Because if we're on your bed and someone opens the door, they'll see us right away. But we're behind the door--”  
  
Bobby couldn't help but laugh, which he knew would probably annoy Hanbin, but he couldn't help it.  
  
“Don't laugh at me!” Hanbin punched him in the arm. “I'm trying to compromise with you!”  
  
“I'm sorry,” Bobby replied before wrapping his arms around Hanbin and pressing a kiss into his neck, “you're cute.”  
  
“Too cute for you.” Hanbin sulkily replied, glad that Bobby's head was in his neck so he couldn't see him smiling.  
  
It was weird, the way that situational context made the same sentence have such different meanings. If anyone else ever said that Hanbin was too cute for him, Bobby knew it would bother him, knew it would cause his slowly growing self doubt to manifest and wreak havoc. But hearing it out of Hanbin's mouth gave it the opposite effect, and Bobby just felt all the more confident after hearing Hanbin say it.  
  
“Yeah, you probably are too cute for me,” he replied, teeth nipping lightly at Hanbin's skin, fingers working at the top button of his pants, “I'm lucky you like me so much, right?”  
  
“Don't you forget it.” Hanbin answered, trying his best to sound annoyed, but a second later he was gasping as Bobby's fingers tightened around his dick.  
  
Maybe he just needed to stop being so paranoid about someone walking in on them.  
  
Five minutes later, when Bobby was down on his knees and Hanbin was trying desperately not to make a sound—yeah, he _definitely_ needed to stop being so paranoid.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guess who's finally going to be back next chapter?? Donghyuk! He'll be around for the majority of the chapter, too. Maybe some other minor characters might be around too... We'll see next week. ;)


	25. The Switch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> While Jinhwan takes Hanbin out to their fancy violinist's concert, Junhoe takes Donghyuk shopping, and Bobby checks out a movie with his basketball teammates.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello all! Just wanted to drop a link to a short little documentary that will give you a visual about Amadeus Leopold's concert that Jinan and Hanbin go to! He did this show a few years back, before he'd taken on his new stage name (so he was going by his birth name, Hahn-bin: Yoo Hanbin is his full name). Thought it might help to see what they're watching. :)
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CNFgsHBGKHY
> 
> Also quick mention: in case you forgot, I added a couple of the Monsta X boys as Bobby's bball teammates. Shuffled their ages, obviously. Just mentioning it in case anyone notices. :)

“The most important part of the move is the switch.”  
  
Donghyuk watched as Junhoe demonstrated, his feet snapping back and forth.  
  
“There are actually a few different ways you can do it. I like to do mine with a lot of power, like Michael Jackson did,” Junhoe explained, “it lets you go further on each stride back. If you watch Hanbin do it, though, he does his a little more fluidly. His glides aren't as long, and the switch isn't as noticeable, so it looks softer and kind of a little more elegant, I guess.” Junhoe demonstrated what he was talking about. “It really depends on your own personal style and what you like doing.”  
  
Donghyuk watched a bit longer before standing sideways in front of the mirror, the heel of his right foot raised up, his left flat on the floor. “So I start out like this, and just glide my left foot back?”  
  
“Yeah, keep it flat and go back just a bit, don't worry about making it long right now, you'll just get unbalanced.” Junhoe stood next to him, doing the move in time with him. “Raise your heel, slide back, switch, slide back, switch, slide back, switch--” they carried on for a bit, Junhoe calling out the instructions and Donghyuk following along. After a few runs back and forth across the floor they took a quick break.  
  
“You're doing good!” Junhoe complimented, “your switch is good, it took me longer to really work it out. Honestly if you just practice the switch a lot, you'll get really good in no time. The switch is the key to doing a good Moonwalk.”  
  
Donghyuk smiled at the compliment, doing a few moves briefly on his own. “Thanks, Junhoe! I thought it would be a lot harder to learn. I know it'll take a while to master, but the steps seem so simple for how cool it looks when you do it right.”  
  
“I know, that's why it's my favourite move! It's surprisingly versatile too, like I said earlier. You can start experimenting when you get good at it.” Junhoe showed off a little, gliding in a circle around Donghyuk, who grinned as he watched him.  
  
“We should Moonwalk around school,” Donghyuk joked before starting to practice again.  
  
“Hanbin and I did that for a good month after we took our class,” Junhoe said, “but now we could use it as a sign. Get all the gay guys at school to start Moonwalking.”  
  
Donghyuk laughed at the idea. “Like a secret gay walk?”  
  
“Yeah, we'll know how to identify each other.” Junhoe grinned at the idea.  
  
“That would be good! Then we could find ourselves some boyfriends.” Donghyuk added. “But let me get good at it first so I don't look like some inexperienced dork.”  
  
“Too late for that,” Junhoe teased, “you already look like a dork!” Junhoe reached out and pinched Donghyuk's ear as he passed him by.  
  
Donghyuk smacked his hand away. “Shut up, I do not! Do I?” Donghyuk paused to look at himself in the mirror.  
  
“Do you want my honest opinion?” Junhoe asked, grinning when Donghyuk glared at him.  
  
“If you're asking it that way then I know you think I look bad!” Donghyuk whined.  
  
“So sure, we have to wear uniforms at school, and you can only make them look so cool, but you're kind of a little nerdy outside of school too.” He watched as Donghyuk's expression fell, but he wasn't worried. After he'd finally started paying more attention to Donghyuk a few weeks ago, Junhoe had been surprised to find that he actually liked him quite a lot. Donghyuk was a great person to have as a friend. Like Junhoe, Donghyuk was very expressive about his feelings (though where Junhoe tended to express his negative feelings more easily, Donghyuk just expressed everything). At first he'd been concerned every time Donghyuk ever frowned or moped, but he'd quickly learned that Donghyuk never expressed anything half-way. Everything was emphasized. With Donghyuk, a minor hurt seemed like an ordeal. That was just the way he was, and Junhoe was getting the hang of figuring out when Donghyuk was actually upset and when he wasn't.  
  
Right now wasn't one of those serious times.  
  
“What do you think I should do? Is it the way I dress?” Donghyuk gestured to his outfit, to which Junhoe nodded.  
  
“That doesn't help, you look really mismatched. You need a different haircut, honestly. This bowl cut isn't doing you any favours at all. Maybe you should get a piercing, too.” Junhoe stood behind him, reaching out to brush Donghyuk's hair back.  
  
Donghyuk didn't protest, just let Junhoe do his thing. “I've had this haircut since I was seven.”  
  
“Exactly! It's a seven year old's haircut!” Junhoe exclaimed. “We're going to the mall, we're gonna get you a different look.”  
  
“Right now?” Donghyuk asked, his voice slightly panicked.  
  
“Yeah right now. You can't master the Moonwalk while you look like a giant nerd.” Junhoe grinned and slung an arm around his shoulders. “Come on, don't you trust me?”  
  
Donghyuk pouted at his reflection. “I trust your good intentions, but I don't know that I trust your methods.”  
  
Junhoe pretended to be offended. “I just want to help you look cool!”  
  
“Are you embarrassed to be seen with me, or something?” Donghyuk asked, and he punched Junhoe's arm when he nodded. “You're too honest, sometimes!”  
  
Junhoe laughed and slid out of reach. “When you're as cool as me, you can't help but be honest.” He grinned at Donghyuk and moonwalked away, pivoting on his heel and hitting the wall face first in a move that had Donghyuk squealing in laughter while Junhoe groaned.  
  
“Ow! I probably deserved that.”  
  
“I love karma,” Donghyuk replied, still laughing, “you're not hurt, right?”  
  
“Only my pride,” Junhoe replied, laughing at his own joke.  
  
“Are we really going shopping right now?” Donghyuk asked, smiling when Junhoe nodded. Maybe Junhoe was right, maybe he did need a change.

* * *

  
“Just try them on, Donghyuk! Quit whining.” Junhoe shoved him into a changing room and threw a pair of jeans over the top of the door.  
  
“I really don't think they're good for me!” Donghyuk whined from behind the closed door, but from the sounds of a zipper and shuffling fabric, Junhoe knew he was trying them on.  
  
He grinned and leaned against the wall. He liked winning arguments, even stupid ones over things like this. He pulled his phone out while he waited, texting Hanbin.  
  
_'im letting dong get in my pants'_  
  
He grinned and put his phone back in his jacket pocket. Hanbin was currently out at a concert with Jinhwan, so he didn't know whether to expect a reply right away. They were seeing that fancy little violinist they had both fawned over the other week. Junhoe had been surprised to hear that Jinhwan had invited Hanbin, but it was a nice gesture on Jinhwan's part because Hanbin actually hadn't shut up about the guy since Jinhwan had shown him the video.  
  
Junhoe liked classical music well enough, but he'd already had his one show for the year, and he didn't really appreciate the over-the-top artistic stuff as much as Hanbin did. Of course he'd still have to hear about it for the next week, and he was considering investing in a good set of earplugs.  
  
It was nice to have a night to hang out with Donghyuk on his own, though. It was the first time they'd gone out just the two of them, because Hanbin was always around. But after years of only going out places with just Hanbin, Junhoe was surprised to find that he was enjoying having multiple options when it came to people he could hang out with. With Hanbin it was non-stop insulting banter, but Donghyuk was almost even more fun to play with. It was easy to play jokes on him, and his reactions were always dramatic. Junhoe enjoyed a good reaction to his jokes.  
  
He also had Jinhwan now, kind of. They were getting there, at least. Junhoe had seen him Tuesday night, when Jinhwan had unexpectedly dropped by his jiu jitsu training at the end, because he was _in the area_. They'd gone out afterwards, just to grab a quick bite to eat, and they'd talked the whole time about jiu jitsu. Jinhwan was testing for his brown belt next month.  
  
They hadn't had the chance to get together for anything more private since the last time, and Junhoe had thought about asking Jinhwan if he wanted to do something, but in truth he wasn't really sure _how_ to ask.  
  
Luckily for him, Jinhwan had been thinking the same, and now they had plans to go see a movie together on the weekend. They were keeping it a secret from Hanbin and Bobby, of course, and luckily those two already had plans on Saturday night. So far Junhoe was managing to keep his expectations exactly as they should be—just friend stuff, maybe with some making out if they got somewhere private.  
  
It was surprisingly less stressful than he'd thought it might be.  
  
“I'm coming out now!” Donghyuk yelled to him from the changing room, pulling Junhoe back into the moment.  
  
“I thought you were already out?” Junhoe replied, grinning at his joke.  
  
Donghyuk pulled open the changing room door and hit him. “Terrible! As am I. These are way too tight, don't you think?” Donghyuk stood nervously in front of him.  
  
Junhoe shrugged. “No such thing as too tight! You actually have nice legs, I didn't expect that.” Donghyuk's thighs were pretty impressive now that they were clad in something form-fitting. “Your pants are always so loose, you're not doing yourself any favours.”  
  
Donghyuk blushed a little and frowned. “Now you're just being nice. Honestly though, these are way too tight for me. Get me something else!”  
  
“Come with me and find something else,” Junhoe said, grinning when Donghyuk shook his head, “walk around in them, humour me!”  
  
“No way! Get me a different pair, please. Not as tight.” Donghyuk pleaded, embarrassed at the prospect of walking around in tight pants. Maybe he should just change back into his other pants and find something himself.  
  
“Fine, quit whining. Wait here.” Junhoe pushed himself off of the wall, going back out into the store. He grabbed the nearest pair of stylish jeans, no idea if they were tight or not, and went back to Donghyuk, who had the door closed again. “Try these!” He flung them over the top of the changing room door again.  
  
“Hey, you wanna tell me why I have a text message from Hanbin saying _'don't do it, you have a bright future ahead of you'_?” Donghyuk asked, pulling the jeans down from the door.  
  
Junhoe laughed and pulled his own phone out. “Do you? I have no idea.” He checked his own messages, grinning when he read Hanbin's.  
  
_'what did poor donghyuk ever do to you?? be nice to him!'_  
  
Junhoe typed out a reply.  
  
_'bro did u kno dong has built legs??'_  
  
He also had a text message from Jinhwan, which came along with a picture of Hanbin posing cutely by the stage, waiting for the concert to start.  
  
_'gonna send u any blackmail pics i take tonite hope u like em!'_  
  
Junhoe saved the picture in his phone, because Hanbin did look pretty dorky in it. You never knew when you might need slightly mortifying pictures of your best friend.  
  
“How are those jeans, Donghyuk? Better?” Junhoe asked, laughing when he received a response from Hanbin.  
  
_'donghyuk has WHAT? wtf is going on??'_  
  
“They're good, actually! I think I like them.” Donghyuk called back before finally opening the stall door. “They look okay, right?”  
  
Junhoe looked him over, nodding. Definitely needed a different shirt, but the fit was good and the style was nice. “Yeah, they look good on you! You should get them.”  
  
Donghyuk stood a bit longer in front of the mirror. “You think so? Should I try something else or just get these?”  
  
“Just get those! You need a shirt, though. Maybe a cool hoodie.” Junhoe snapped a quick picture of Donghyuk from behind, sending it to Hanbin.  
  
_'stacked, bro'_  
  
“Did you just take my picture?” Donghyuk asked, looking back at Junhoe.  
  
“Yeah, had to show Hanbin.” Junhoe replied, grinning at Donghyuk's slightly scandalized expression.  
  
“Did you send him a picture of my ass?” Donghyuk asked.  
  
“Sure did.” Junhoe replied, and he showed Donghyuk Hanbin's reply.  
  
_'nice! donghyuk has an ass, you ARE an ass, it's perfect'_  
  
Donghyuk laughed at the reply, though he did blush a little. He went back to looking at himself in the mirror as Junhoe kept texting Hanbin. A moment later and Hanbin sent Junhoe a picture of he and Jinhwan sitting together, still waiting for the show to start. Junhoe saved that one too, even if it wasn't embarrassing at all.

* * *

  
“I'm glad they're hanging out!” Hanbin said as he put his phone away. “It's nice to know that Junhoe has someone else to hang out alone with. I can now date Bobby guilt-free.”  
  
“Aw, you found him a babysitter, that's good!” Jinhwan teased, “he's a decent kid underneath it all.”  
  
“Yeah, if you get him on a good day,” Hanbin replied, “you've seen him at his worst, so I guess your opinion has some weight to it now.”  
  
“True, he really has shown me everything,” Jinhwan replied, winking at Hanbin playfully, wondering if he'd take the bait. Not that Jinhwan would admit anything to him, of course.  
  
Hanbin couldn't help but wonder if Jinhwan was being playful just to get a rise out of him, or if he was hinting at something else. “He's shown you everything, has he?” He asked, “even the birthmark on his left hip?”  
  
“Isn't it on his right side?” Jinhwan replied, meeting Hanbin's eyes challengingly.  
  
“Let me guess, you only know that because you guys showered together after you finished training, right?” Hanbin teased.  
  
Jinhwan nodded. “Strictly professional.”  
  
Hanbin was certain Jinhwan wasn't being completely honest, but then again Jinhwan _did_ like to tease people. “Right, sure it was.”  
  
Jinhwan knew he ought to be careful with Hanbin, because he was very perceptive when he cared about a situation. He couldn't say too much without Hanbin running with the idea. But still... Jinhwan liked to tease details a little too much.  
  
He was saved from any further questioning, though, as the lights went down and the concert got underway.  
  
He'd just have to reel himself in when he was alone with Hanbin.

* * *

  
“Definitely look less nerdy with the clothes, but we still need to do something about your hair,” Junhoe said, looking around for ideas.  
  
Donghyuk couldn't help but feel a little self-conscious, almost like a kid playing dress-up in somebody else's clothing. Maybe Junhoe was right. Maybe it was the hair.  
  
“Maybe a snapback?” Junhoe suggested.  
  
“I honestly can't buy anything else,” Donghyuk replied, “I already spent too much on the jeans.”  
  
“Eh, I'll get you one, my present.” Junhoe offered, heading for a hat shop.  
  
“Oh no, that's not necessary!” Donghyuk said, chasing after him. “Really, don't be ridiculous.”  
  
“No, you're stuck halfway between nerd and cool, I need to finish the visual.” Junhoe scanned over the rack of snapbacks, reaching for a red one. “I think this one would compliment your outfit the best.”  
  
Donghyuk's face blanched at the bright red. “Uh, are you sure?”  
  
“I know it's bold, but I'm buying it, so my opinion should hold more importance.” Junhoe thrust it at him. “Put it on.”  
  
“Let's look at some others first--” Donghyuk said, only to be interrupted.  
  
“Just try it on!” Junhoe stuck it on Donghyuk's head himself, stepping back and nodding. “Seriously, it makes all the difference.”  
  
Donghyuk readjusted the hat and looked at himself in the mirror. Okay. Junhoe had a point, he did look better. Before he could say anything else, Junhoe was handing the cashier enough money for the hat, and Donghyuk just looked at him in surprise.  
  
“Did you just buy it?”  
  
Junhoe nodded. “Yeah, I said I would. Only fair, really, since I picked it out. It completes the picture, though! I'm not embarrassed to be out with you anymore.” Junhoe winked at him before reaching for his phone. “Here, let me send Hanbin an updated picture.” He waited while Donghyuk grudgingly posed for him. “There, that wasn't so tough, was it?” Junhoe asked, grinning and sticking his phone back in his pocket. “Wanna go get a coffee?”  
  
Donghyuk nodded. He certainly needed _something_.  
  
There was a cafe near their location in the mall and Donghyuk followed him up to the counter, feeling weird that he was wearing all brand new clothes and carrying his old clothes in a shopping bag. Maybe he just needed a bit of time to get used to the idea of himself looking different.  
  
“What do you want? I'm buying.” Junhoe made the offer, looking over the menu himself, thinking about getting some kind of dessert to go with the drink.  
  
“Oh, honestly, you already bought me the hat, I should be buying for you!” Donghyuk was a little surprised at Junhoe's offer, especially after everything else tonight.  
  
“No it's cool, you spent a bunch of money on the clothes, which you wouldn't have gotten had it not been for me telling you to get them,” Junhoe insisted.  
  
“I needed new clothes anyway,” Donghyuk tried to protest, but Junhoe wasn't having it.  
  
“Just order something, if you're that hung up on it then the next time we go out, you can pay for me. I'll make sure we go somewhere more expensive, then.” Junhoe teased back.  
  
Donghyuk blushed and finally gave in. “Alright, fine. You win.” They both ordered coffees and slices of chocolate cake, and when they got their orders and headed for a table, Junhoe was surprised to see Yunhyeong standing in line.  
  
“Ah, hyung!” Junhoe greeted him awkwardly. They hadn't seen each other since the tutoring session, when Yejin had interrupted their discussion about Junhoe's new _relationship._  
  
“Hey, Junhoe!” Yunhyeong greeted him, taking in his cake and drink, before looking at Donghyuk and noticing the same. Yunhyeong looked like he'd made a sudden realization. “Is this, you know--” he nodded to Donghyuk.  
  
Junhoe wasn't sure what he meant at first, but then he remembered that he hadn't told Yunhyeong _who_ his _special_ friend was. Did Yunhyeong think it was Donghyuk? “Ah, it's not what you think--”  
  
“This isn't your, uh, your _friend?”_ Yunhyeong asked, and Junhoe shook his head.  
  
“No! Well, he's my friend, but not _that_ friend--” he looked back at Donghyuk's confused expression, “I'm not dating anyone or anything, okay? Get that thought out of your head.”  
  
Donghyuk just stared at him, confused by the conversation.  
  
“Ah, sorry, I should just leave you alone-” Yunhyeong was grinning though, and Junhoe knew that he thought that Donghyuk was the friend with benefits he'd mentioned.  
  
“Hyung, this is _Donghyuk_ , okay?” Junhoe had told Yunhyeong about him before, and remembrance dawned on Yunhyeong's face.  
  
“Ah, right! I remember all about Donghyuk.” Yunhyeong did, but now he was confused. He knew that Junhoe had said that he and Donghyuk had gotten to be closer friends, but were they dating now? Out at a cafe, coffees and cake? Junhoe had paid? It was a date, wasn't it?  
  
“Yeah, listen, we're uh gonna go get a table.” Junhoe just wanted out of the conversation now.  
  
“You're welcome to join us if you like!” Donghyuk offered, even though he wasn't entirely certain who the guy was. One thing was for certain, though. He was really cute.  
  
“Ah thank you!” Yunhyeong replied, smiling at Donghyuk, even though he was even more confused now. Maybe it wasn't a date?  
  
“You don't have to if you don't want to,” Junhoe was quick to add, “we were just out shopping, had to get Donghyuk some new clothes.”  
  
“Ah, really? I love clothes shopping! Sorry I missed it.” Yunhyeong replied.  
  
“I'm wearing the new stuff now,” Donghyuk said, “do you think it looks okay?”  
  
Yunhyeong looked him over and nodded. “Yeah, of course, you look really good! The jeans are really cool. And your hat matches the thread on them, that's a nice touch.”  
  
“Oh, does it? I didn't even notice, Junhoe actually picked the hat for me.” Donghyuk replied, suddenly feeling even more grateful to Junhoe. “He even bought it, too.”  
  
Yunhyeong tried to keep his expression somewhat composed. Junhoe had bought something for someone else? It had to be a date, then.  
  
“Ah, it's no big deal! I made him spend a bunch of money on the other stuff, and he desperately needs a different haircut but no one had any openings so a hat did the trick.” Junhoe was starting to feel a little embarrassed now. God, Yunhyeong must be convinced that Donghyuk was the friend with benefits!  
  
“Well, it was a good choice. Listen you guys go get your table, I'm holding you up!” Yunhyeong replied.  
  
“Come and join us when you get your order!” Donghyuk offered again before following Junhoe to a table near the front.  
  
Junhoe sat down and took a sip of his coffee. He really hoped Yunhyeong wasn't going to come and join them, because he didn't want his prying eyes trying to gauge what was going on. Which was _nothing._  
  
“So, uh, would he be doing the Moonwalk at school?” Donghyuk couldn't help but ask as he sat down across from Junhoe. Yunhyeong was very good looking.  
  
“Yunhyeong hyung? Ah, I don't know, I don't think so. He's never really said anything about it before so I always assumed he was straight.” Yunhyeong turning out to be gay was likely the last thing Junhoe needed.  
  
“Ah, it would be good if he was! He seems really nice. How do you know him, again? I know you've mentioned him before but I can't remember what you said.” Donghyuk picked up his fork and took a bite of his cake.  
  
“He's my math tutor.” Junhoe replied, taking another sip.  
  
“Oh yeah! He must be smart, then,” Donghyuk said with a smile, “that's good to know, I honestly don't think I could date a dumb guy.”  
  
“Excuse me?” Junhoe replied, bristling at the comment. “Are you trying to say to say that I'm dumb because I have trouble with math?”  
  
“What?” Donghyuk looked at him, a slightly panicked look on his face. “No! That's not what I meant!”  
  
“Well just because he tutors me in math, doesn't mean he's smarter than me or anything. He's just better in math. One subject.” Junhoe wasn't sure why he was overreacting to the comment. Probably because Yunhyeong was convinced that he was in a relationship of sorts with Donghyuk.  
  
“I didn't mean that, really—” Donghyuk's eyes suddenly went wide, and he dropped his fork onto his plate, “oh my god, Junhoe, I didn't even think, I'm so thoughtless, I'm sorry-”  
  
“Sorry about what?” Junhoe replied, because Donghyuk's tone had suddenly gotten even more apologetic, and he almost looked like he had tears in his eyes.  
  
“This isn't, ah,” Donghyuk stumbled over his words, hoping that he was just jumping to the wrong conclusion, “this isn't a date, is it?”  
  
Junhoe stared at him in shock for a moment, almost unable to process the question. “What? No, of course not!” He laughed after he got over the initial shock. “I like you, but you are so totally not my type.”  
  
Donghyuk breathed an audible sigh of relief. “Oh thank God! It just hit me all of sudden, because you got upset when you think I called you dumb, and then I realized, you bought me a gift, and you bought me food--”  
  
“Ah, yeah I guess I can see why you might come to that conclusion.” Junhoe replied, grinning at how relieved Donghyuk looked.  
  
Donghyuk brought his cup of coffee to his lips, taking a long sip. “I like you too, but you are definitely not my type,” Donghyuk laughed when Junhoe's eyes narrowed, “not because I think you're dumb!”  
  
“No? Are you sure? Why wouldn't you date me, then? I'm attractive!” Junhoe replied, but now he was just joking around.  
  
“Hold on, are you saying that I'm ugly, then, since you so adamantly wouldn't date me?” Donghyuk asked.  
  
“You're not ugly, especially not with those legs,” Junhoe replied with a wink, “you're just too nerdy for me.”  
  
Donghyuk nodded. “Yeah, I probably am. You're also a little too dumb for me, sorry.” Their eyes met and they both laughed, grateful there was no misunderstanding.

* * *

  
“You wanna get something to eat, hyung? We have forty minutes before the movie starts.” Chanwoo looked at the time on his phone, then glanced at Bobby.  
  
“I don't know, I might just get a giant bag of popcorn for the movie.” Bobby looked around the front of the theatre. “You see Jooheon? He said he was here already with Minhyuk.”  
  
“Nah, not yet. Did they go in?”  
  
Bobby looked back at his phone. “No, didn't specify. Fuck it, let's just go in, you can get some food and I'll get my popcorn.” They made their way to one of the ticket kiosks.  
  
Since Hanbin and Jinhwan were both busy, Bobby was out with some of the guys from his basketball team, checking out a new action movie. It felt kind of weird, going out without either of them. But it was good! Maybe he was getting too dependent on them? Jinhwan, sure, because they'd been best friends for a very long time.  
  
Was he getting _too_ attached to Hanbin, though? They hadn't really been dating for that long, yet, but he thought about Hanbin all the time. Was it normal? He'd never thought about another person so much in his life. Did Hanbin think about him all the time too?  
  
Ah, but he'd gone over all of this before, in his head. There was nothing wrong with being so attached to his boyfriend. He was supposed to be attached to him, wasn't he? It wasn't weird? Why did he keep having these moments where he questioned how he felt about Hanbin? It was tiring, but he couldn't make his brain quit second-guessing himself.  
  
“So hyung, how's Hanbin?”  
  
“I thought I told you not to bring him up?” Bobby replied, looking around for any of their friends.  
  
“Uh, I didn't think his identity was a secret anymore?” Chanwoo asked. “He was at our last game and you even kissed him, where anyone could see.”  
  
Right. He had. “Yeah, well, I don't know if anyone did see.” Lame answer for some lame behaviour. Bobby was just so used to hiding his relationships from his basketball teammates that he'd actually forgotten that he was in the process of starting to show this one off. It was easy to break the behaviour with Hanbin in front of him, but when he wasn't it was almost like Bobby's brain defaulted back to hiding that part of himself away.  
  
Chanwoo shook his head, eyes rolling in near disgust. “Why are you so afraid of everyone finding out, anyway? Did you forget that we all know that you're gay?”  
  
“Are you forgetting who he is?” Bobby retorted. “I feel like I should just wait until the season's over. We might have to play them in the finals!”  
  
Chanwoo laughed at the potential outcome. “Could you handle that? It wouldn't break you guys up, would it, hyung?”  
  
Bobby scowled at him. “Of course not!” It wouldn't, would it? No. Not a chance. “Don't be stupid.”  
  
“True love conquers sports rivalry! I feel like this should be a drama.” Chanwoo replied, grinning when Bobby threatened to hit him. “I don't think any of the big channels would promote it as a gay relationship, though, so we'd probably have to rewrite your story a bit. Maybe make Hanbin a girl, she's too good to play basketball with girls so she's allowed to play with the guys.”  
  
“That's stupid.” Bobby answered.  
  
“Sure is. Maybe we could sell your story in some other country? Or it could be an anime! That would probably be popular, actually.”  
  
“Chanwoo?”  
  
“Yeah, hyung?”  
  
“Shut up.” Bobby tried to glare at him, but Chanwoo just laughed and eventually it made Bobby laugh too. They paid for their movie tickets and went inside the theatre, where they quickly found Jooheon and Minhyuk.  
  
They grabbed a table in the concession area, and Chanwoo went to buy himself a hamburger. Bobby wanted to save his popcorn for the movie. They talked about TV shows while they waited for Chanwoo to come back, and once he did Bobby checked his phone, unable to help himself. He had texts from both Hanbin and Jinhwan. Jinhwan had sent him a dorky picture of Hanbin by the stage area, which Bobby saved immediately. Hanbin had sent him two cute selfies (which Bobby also saved) along with a picture of he and Jinhwan sitting together in their seats (also saved).  
  
He had an alarming number of pictures of Hanbin on his phone. He couldn't keep the smile off his face at the newest ones, though. It was good for Hanbin to spend time with Jinhwan, doing things they enjoyed that Bobby didn't enjoy. He didn't want to have to sit through something he had no interest in. It was good that Hanbin and Jinhwan had some similar interests. Better for Hanbin to go with his best friend than some other guy.  
  
“What are you over there smiling about?” Minhyuk asked, and suddenly all three of them were targeting him.  
  
“Boyfriend send you something stupid?” Jooheon teased, and Bobby glared at the three of them.  
  
“I've already got three servings of stupid sitting right in front of me.” Bobby replied.  
  
“Ouch, sounding kinda angry there, hyung!” Jooheon carried on. “Everything okay?”  
  
“Yeah, trouble in paradise?” Minhyuk teased.  
  
“No trouble whatsoever, assholes.” Bobby replied.  
  
“Where is the boyfriend, anyway? How come we haven't met him?”  
  
“You think I'd want to introduce him to you losers? Think again.” Bobby couldn't help but tease back.  
  
“Where's Jinhwan? How come he didn't come out?” Minhyuk asked.  
  
“Ah, Jinhwan is actually out with my boyfriend,” Bobby admitted, “they went to a concert together.” It wasn't a big deal. He could talk about it and be happy for them. He was over the jealousy.  
  
“Wait, why is your best friend taking your boyfriend to a concert?” Minhyuk asked.  
  
“Yeah, why aren't you taking him?” Jooheon continued.  
  
“It's some artsy violin thing, not my scene,” Bobby replied, “Jinan was supposed to go with his sister, but she couldn't make it in from Jeju. So he asked Hanbin to go.” There, it wasn't so bad to talk about it. It was a nice friendly gesture.  
  
“Wow, better watch out, might lose your man!” Jooheon teased.  
  
Bobby grinned back at him. “Yeah, I'm not worried.”  
  
“What does your boyfriend look like, anyway? I'm serious, how come we've never met him?” Minhyuk asked.  
  
Chanwoo grinned and looked at Bobby. “Unless we already have met him, but we just don't know it yet?”  
  
Bobby met Chanwoo's challenging look. Should he just tell them? Minhyuk and Jooheon were his closest friends on the team, after all. He didn't think they'd have a problem with who he was dating.  
  
“Do we know him, hyung?” Jooheon asked, curious now that Chanwoo had brought it up.  
  
Ah, fuck it. Bobby hated keeping secrets anyway. “Yeah, you're familiar with him.”  
  
“Who is it?” Minhyuk asked. He'd tried not to pry too much, because Bobby had never liked talking about any of the other guys he'd dated before after his troubling experiences when he'd come out. But he'd been curious ever since Bobby had let it slip that he had a new boyfriend.  
  
“Kim Hanbin,” Bobby began, but he was interrupted by Jooheon.  
  
“Kim Hanbin from Whimoon?” He almost yelled, and Bobby nodded. “Fuck! I owe Wonho money now, we had a bet that the rumours about you and him were fake.”  
  
“What rumours?” Bobby asked.  
  
“That you kissed him after our last game. I didn't think you'd date a guy from one of our rival teams. Poor leadership.”  
  
Bobby almost got angry at the comment, until Jooheon's composure broke and he laughed. Bobby breathed a sigh of relief.  
  
“Wow, I can't believe you're dating that guy,” Minhyuk replied, “hold on, is that why you lost your shit on Jooheon the last time we played them?”  
  
“Huh? What are you talking about?” Bobby couldn't remember what Minhyuk was referring to.  
  
“Jooheon fouled Hanbin, and you practically tore his head off about it. You yelled at everyone, actually. It was a little weird, but I get it now.” Minhyuk grinned at the information.  
  
“Ah, right, that,” Bobby remembered now, ashamed that he'd let his feelings for Hanbin get in his way, “well, everyone _was_ fouling him, so it's not like it wasn't deserved.”  
  
“Sure, hyung, I get it,” Jooheon replied teasingly, “suddenly the boyfriend becomes more important than the team. Another display of your amazing leadership.”  
  
They all laughed at the comments, though Bobby couldn't help but wonder if there really was some truth to them. If they played Hanbin's team again, would he keep himself in check or lose his cool if someone touched Hanbin?  
  
“Alright, we should probably go in and get seats, movie's starting soon.” The four of them got up from the table, but Bobby stopped to get himself some snacks before heading in to join them. He turned his phone off, but not before sending Hanbin a message about going in to the theatre, and that he hoped he was enjoying the show.  
  
Hanbin just sent him back a kissing emoji, and Bobby felt lame because it actually gave him that butterflies in the stomach feeling. Whatever. He needed to stop giving himself grief over his boyfriend.

* * *

  
The concert was unlike anything Hanbin had ever been to watch, before. The venue was small and very intimate, and they sat in padded chairs around candle-lit tables. There was a section a bit further back that had regular row seating, but it was all very close and he was sure there couldn't be more than a few hundred people.  
  
But it was the stage production that had him enthralled. The whole thing had started out as though they were at a funeral, and the violinist had popped up out of his own casket. He was accompanied by a pianist, and the simplicity of the music itself made the whole scene that much more interesting. The entire time he couldn't take his eyes off of him, enamoured with it all.  
  
There was a short break midway through, and Hanbin couldn't do anything other than slump back into the chair and smile at Jinhwan.  
  
Jinhwan was equally as inspired by the whole thing. While he'd always dreamt about performing his music in front of crowds as part of an orchestra, this was entirely different. He'd never seen a classical production done with such style and story. The artistry behind the performance had him dreaming again, longing for something similar on his own.  
  
“I can't believe how amazing this is,” Hanbin finally said, looking at Jinhwan with stars in his eyes, “I'm sad your sister had to miss this, but I'm so happy I got to see it!”  
  
“Yeah she's miserable that she couldn't make it, but she'll be really happy that you're loving it so much!” Jinhwan took his phone out. “Let's make a short video for her so she knows how much we appreciate it.”  
  
They leaned in close together, trying to keep their voices down as not to disturb the other attendants. Jinhwan was pretty sure they were easily the youngest people here, most in the crowd were older adults. They took a quick video to send to Seiyeon, during which Hanbin profusely thanked her and professed his love, and Jinhwan sent it off.  
  
He was tempted to send a message to Bobby, a teasing warning that Hanbin was falling head over heels for the violinist, but he thought better of it at the last moment. Bobby seemed to have gotten over his anger regarding the invitation, and the last thing Jinhwan wanted to do was abuse his good will.  
  
The second half of the show started up then, and when the violinist reappeared he sat on the edge of the coffin he'd been carried in, a single rose held between his teeth as he played a moving piece. He stood up midway through the song and walked down into the spectator area, moving fluidly around tables and chairs as he played, until he ended his song in front of Hanbin and Jinhwan's table.  
  
With a flourish he took the flower from his mouth, his eyes sweeping around the room before offering it to Hanbin, who was barely able to accept it without dropping it. He was gone again back to the stage to carry on the show, but Hanbin was left in his chair with shaking hands.  
  
He glanced at Jinhwan, who was still staring at him in shock. When their eyes met they both had to bite their cheeks to keep from giggling, caught up in the excitement of the moment. The rest of the show was just as intense and beautiful as the first half, and when it was over they both stood up and clapped fervently, impressed and influenced in different ways.  
  
They leaned against the wall in the hallway as the venue cleared, both silently processing the show. Hanbin was still holding on to the rose. An older man approached them, and Jinhwan stood up to meet him, certain they were about to be asked to leave. Instead it turned out to be the opposite.  
  
“Did you boys enjoy the show tonight?” He asked, and they both nodded. “It makes me happy to see young people supporting the arts! I just thought I would let you know, if you were interested, that he's actually in the hall on the other side, signing autographs.” He gestured down the opposite hallway where they saw a few people standing around.  
  
“Oh, thank you! We really appreciate you letting us know!” Jinhwan bowed to the older man, who smiled back and once again thanked them for attending with such passion. They waited until he left before heading over to the line of people, nervous and excited to meet him face to face.  
  
“Do you think we'll be allowed to take a picture with him?” Hanbin asked, not wanting to appear rude when they met him, but desperate for the opportunity.  
  
“I hope so! If we see other people ask, let's ask! Even if they don't let's ask anyway, maybe he will just because we're the youngest people here.” They didn't have to wait long before it was their turn, and when the violinist's eyes fell on them he took them in with a smile.  
  
“Ah, my flower boy!”  
  
Hanbin couldn't help but blush at the comment, even though it kind of made him feel a little embarrassed—not just because of the title, but because he actually remembered him! Which was dumb. _Of course_ he'd remembered him! Maybe not tomorrow, but the show just happened and they had locked eyes, and he'd chosen him to give the flower to.  
  
“You were amazing!” Hanbin blurted out as he bowed, feeling like a huge dork. There was something about the guy, some kind of magical aura, almost, that had Hanbin feeling like he couldn't really get close or act normal. Maybe it was just remnants of his amazing stage presence, maybe it was in the eyes.  
  
“Thank you, I'm happy you enjoyed the show. What are your names?”  
  
Hanbin couldn't answer, so Jinhwan stepped in. “I'm Kim Jinhwan, this is Kim Hanbin.”  
  
“Hanbin, really? You and I share names, then!” He replied fondly. “Do either of you play the violin?”  
  
“Ah no, I don't play any instruments.” Hanbin answered, though in the moment he sorely wished he did.  
  
“I play the trumpet, but my mother plays the violin, with the Jeju Symphony Orchestra. Yoo Eunha.” Jinhwan said, and he was rewarded for the information with a very bright smile.  
  
“I know your mother!” Violinist Hanbin replied. “She's a very lovely woman, very friendly. I'm glad a love of music was passed down to you.”  
  
Jinhwan was surprised to hear that he'd met his mother—why hadn't she said anything? “Yes, it runs in my family, my sister Seiyeon plays the flute.”  
  
“Keep playing, it's a beautiful thing, to create sound.” He looked back at Hanbin. “And you? It's never too late to start.”  
  
Hanbin nodded, because he couldn't quite find words to respond with.  
  
“Do you mind if we get a picture with you?” Jinhwan asked, elated when he accepted it. They had a security guard take the pictures for them, one as a group, and one solo with him. They thanked him again, and he thanked them for coming, and then they parted ways. Jinhwan grinned as he watched Hanbin sink back into the wall, still starstruck.  
  
“Are you okay?” Jinhwan asked, even though he himself was still feeling particularly giddy. One of his favourite musicians, and he'd just met him in person and gotten a picture! He probably wouldn't be able to sleep tonight.  
  
“I'm shaking,” Hanbin replied, giggling as he held his hands up, “look at me, I feel like such a dork, I could barely talk to him!”  
  
“Trust me, I'm not much better!” Jinhwan replied with a laugh, sinking next to him. “He's so perfect, I can't get over how flawless he looks! He's so pretty.”  
  
“The prettiest person I've ever met.” Hanbin agreed. “It didn't even feel like he was a real person? I'm not crazy, right? He felt like some kind of ethereal being from another world...”  
  
Jinhwan laughed, but he actually agreed with Hanbin. “If he's an alien coming to take over Earth, sign me up. He can be my leader any day.”  
  
They finally made their way out of the venue, but sat on the steps outside, eyes on the few stars that were visible in the city. They didn't say much—they didn't have to. They were both still caught up in the show.  
  
Twenty minutes later and Hanbin's dad was there to pick them up, and during the car ride they were both on their phones. Hanbin sent the picture he'd taken with the violinist to Bobby, accompanied by about a hundred smiling emojis.  
  
Jinhwan sent their group picture to Junhoe and captioned it _'our new overlord'_ before flooding Seiyeon with a slew of pictures and gushing commentary. He gave Seiyeon's phone number to Hanbin, so he could spam her with thank you messages as well and show off the rose he was still holding.  
  
When he finally got home after dropping Jinhwan off, Hanbin sat with his parents for a while, telling them all about the show, and his mother put the rose in a little vase for him, teasing him about how excited he was and telling him to make sure he reeled it in around Bobby so he didn't make his boyfriend jealous. Hanbin just laughed and felt happy that he could share things like this with his parents.  
  
He went to bed then, rose on his bedside table, but he couldn't sleep. He looked at the pictures again, deciding on a whim to set the picture of he and his newest _celebrity crush_ as his lock screen. Until then he'd kept it as a picture from he and Bobby's first date, but he was so enthralled still after the show that he wanted the evidence of the meeting right there to greet him.  
  
He kept Bobby as his phone background, of course. He could have both.


	26. Post-Concert Euphoria

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bobby's jealousy almost makes a mess of things.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was supposed to have a few more scenes, but this one ended up being way longer than I expected it to be! The dates will happen next chapter. Sorry for making you wait if you were expecting it this time. ;)

“So tell me about the concert, I haven't had the chance to hear about it yet!” Donghyuk asked as he sat down next to Hanbin.  
  
“Oh god do I have to listen to this again?” Junhoe complained, sitting down beside Jinhwan and opposite Bobby.  
  
“I'm sorry if I've been too busy studying to hear about it yet,” Donghyuk replied, rolling his eyes at Junhoe's grumbling form.  
  
“Why are you even complaining, anyway? I've barely talked about it.” Hanbin replied, narrowed eyes on his best friend. Aside from a ten minute conversation about it on the way to school the day before, Hanbin hadn't said a word to Junhoe about the concert. Like Donghyuk, he'd also had lunch-time study periods the past two days, plus he'd been busy the night before with basketball practice.  
  
Junhoe realized his mistake too late. While Hanbin was right, and they'd only had one conversation about it, Junhoe had also been hearing about it from someone else.  
  
Jinhwan.  
  
What had started out as a quick phone call to confirm plans for Saturday night's movie had turned into a two hour long chat, and Junhoe was pretty sure that half of it had just been Jinhwan gushing about the show and how inspiring it had been. Junhoe hadn't minded, of course, because he knew music was really important to Jinhwan. But over half the conversation hadn't even really been about the music itself. It had been about the musician.  
  
“True,” he said, shrugging nonchalantly, “one conversation is enough, though. I mean I can tell from your expression alone that you'll probably drone on and on about it.”  
  
Hanbin quickly looked at Jinhwan, but he was busy studying the menu. Could it be that Junhoe and Jinhwan had talked about it, maybe? No way to know for sure, but Hanbin thought it was likely. If only he could get a confession about the conversation between them, maybe it would be enough to prove something...  
  
His bet with Bobby regarding Junhoe and Jinhwan was coming to a close tomorrow, and while Hanbin was certain there was something going on, he needed proof. If he tried to pry right now he might not get it, though. But it was an opening for one last ditch effort.  
  
“I want to hear him drone on, so if it bothers you, maybe you should go.” Donghyuk retorted.  
  
Junhoe glared at him. “Ah, Donghyuk. I thought we were friends now, why are you being so cold?” The glare was fake, of course, much like Donghyuk's coldly stated demand for Junhoe to leave the table.  
  
“We are friends! That's why I'm not being super nice to you anymore, you're seeing the real me now.” Donghyuk replied with a grin, and it made them both laugh.  
  
“I know you've been busy the past two days, but did you practice your moonwalking yet?” Junhoe asked him, and it made Bobby look up from his menu.  
  
“Did he practice his what?” Bobby asked, looking between Junhoe and Donghyuk. He hadn't gotten the notice that they'd had a night of bonding.  
  
“I'm teaching Donghyuk some iconic Michael Jackson dance moves,” Junhoe replied, “we started with the moonwalk.”  
  
Bobby shook his head, intent on teasing them, but Hanbin elbowed him before he could get it out.  
  
“Don't! I think it's cute,” Hanbin said, smiling fondly at Donghyuk, “was Junhoe a good teacher?”  
  
Donghyuk grinned and looked around the table before answering. “Well, I have to say he was more experienced than I expected.” Hanbin and Donghyuk laughed at the comment, while Junhoe's face turned a little red and Bobby tried not to laugh.  
  
Jinhwan just bit the inside of his cheek and tried to continue studying the menu. Hanbin and Donghyuk had no idea just how true Donghyuk's teasing comment actually was, after all. Jinhwan didn't want to risk giving anything away.  
  
Junhoe kicked out with his foot, connecting with a leg and hoping it was Hanbin's. A cry of pain later and he sat back in victory.  
  
“Don't go kicking me!” Hanbin whined. “If you injure me before we get to the final, I'll murder you. I promise.”  
  
Junhoe just grinned back at him. “Relax! The final's not til next weekend, you're fine.”  
  
“The semi-final is on Wednesday, I'll still murder you.”  
  
“Who do you guys have? Kyunggi?” Bobby asked, happy to keep the conversation on basketball. He'd heard enough gushing from Jinhwan over the course of the past two days, he didn't need to hear it from Hanbin too (he'd gotten enough of it the night of the show). Hanbin had sent him a few pictures the night of the concert and he'd saved them all—except for one. Maybe it was kind of stupid, but he hadn't really been happy to see the picture of Hanbin with the violinist. Of course it was just a musician he'd never see again, but he couldn't help but feel a little jealous seeing Hanbin clinging to him in a picture. While the violinist wasn't Bobby's type (a little too pretty and too made up) there was no denying that he was beautiful.  
  
“Yeah, Kyunggi. I can finally have my revenge on Taeyong from last year.” Hanbin said with a smile.  
  
“Who's Taeyong?” Donghyuk asked.  
  
“He's the point forward at Kyunggi. If you were to look at league game stats, I guess you could say he's my biggest rival.” Hanbin kept a constant watch on league stats. He was currently ahead of Taeyong, and he wanted to keep it that way.  
  
“Ah, wow that'll be fun, then! I was supposed to attend a study group after classes on Wednesday, but I want to come watch you play instead,” Donghyuk made the sudden decision then to do just that, “are you going, Junhoe?”  
  
“I had plans to go home sick right before the game, but I guess I'll have to scrap those now and go with you.” Junhoe teased.  
  
“Are your games at the same time, then?” Jinhwan asked, because he had plans to watch Bobby's semi-final match on Wednesday as well.  
  
“Yeah, same exact time.” Bobby replied.  
  
“You guys are playing Kyungbock, that'll be tough, we barely beat them. Their point guard had a rough start to the season but he's been a beast for the past few games.” Hanbin commented. Between the two teams, he was happier to be playing Kyunggi. It would still be a rough game, but not as rough as Bobby's path.  
  
“Yeah, I'm not looking forward to that. They have a really good power forward too, got one of the best completion rates.” Bobby reached out, laying a hand on Hanbin's thigh without really thinking about it.  
  
“It'll be tough but you guys can beat them. Of course you'll still end up losing to us in the end anyway, but there can only be one winner, and we've already beaten you once.”  
  
Bobby shook his head at Hanbin's taunting jab. In truth he was nervous about playing Hanbin's team again, for both personal and professional reasons. There was a reason why Whimoon was ranked at the top of the league right now, and Bobby remembered how the game had gone last time. Right down to the final second, but Hanbin and his team were very good at controlling the flow of the game.  
  
Bobby was still concerned about himself, though. How would he handle playing Hanbin again? And now Jooheon and Minhyuk knew about their relationship—would it subconsciously change the way they might play? Would Jooheon not go as hard against Hanbin? Or would he go even harder, compensating for Bobby's own potential leniency?  
  
Only time would tell. In the end it was just basketball. That's what he had to keep telling himself.  
  
“Okay so this is all interesting but can we talk about basketball later? I want to hear about the concert.” Donghyuk interrupted, grinning when Bobby glared at him.  
  
“Basketball is more important,” Bobby started, but Hanbin shook his head.  
  
“No he's right, the concert was a one time thing, it deserves attention.” Hanbin winked at him before turning back to Donghyuk. “It was honestly the coolest show I think I've ever been to, but it was also way different than a normal concert, I've never been to anything like it.”  
  
“It was definitely different!” Jinhwan jumped into the conversation, desperate to re-live it again as well. “I've been to a lot of orchestra shows, and a few solo instrumentalist shows, but nothing even came close to this.”  
  
“Yeah honestly it was like classical violin meets pop? Not even music-wise, I mean, but the stage performance. He's got stage charisma like G Dragon, honestly.” Hanbin looked at Jinhwan. “That's a good comparison, right?”  
  
“Totally!” Jinhwan agreed. “He's nothing like any musician I've watched before. He came out in a coffin, the whole show was staged like he was returning to life after his funeral.”  
  
“Oh wow! That's so cool, I'm jealous now, it sounds amazing!” Donghyuk wasn't familiar with violinists or anything, but he loved people that performed with interesting stage personas.  
  
“We sat in really nice padded chairs around candle-lit tables, we were so close to the stage, it was unreal,” Hanbin carried on, “like he was so close to us the entire show; I know I made eye-contact with him a few times.”  
  
“You sure did,” Jinhwan replied with a grin, “Hanbin must have really caught his attention. At one point in the show he came down off the stage and gave Hanbin a rose!”  
  
“What? Did he really?” Donghyuk asked, mouth open in shock. He'd watched the video of the guy and he was gorgeous. He couldn't imagine such a romantic gesture.  
  
Hanbin smiled at the mention. He still had the rose in his room. “Yeah, it was crazy, he stopped right in front of me and handed it to me.”  
  
“We met him after the show,” Jinhwan cut in, “as soon as he saw Hanbin he was all _my flower boy!”_  
  
Hanbin blushed a little at the mention, while Donghyuk bounced excitedly in his seat. Junhoe was continuously huffing and rolling his eyes as he scanned over the menu, while Bobby...  
  
Bobby was gripping the menu in his hands and trying hard to not be upset. How could he not be, though? Hanbin was fawning over some other guy right in front of him! It didn't matter that it was some celebrity.  
  
Of course it mattered that it was a celebrity. He was being ridiculous right now, wasn't he? The concert had just happened a mere two days ago! Of course it was still exciting. He just had to suck it up and deal with it tonight—  
  
“I'll show you the picture, I have it saved as my lock screen.”  
  
_Saved as my lock screen._  
  
Bobby's knuckles were white from gripping the menu so hard. Hanbin had changed his lock screen? Ever since they'd started dating, Hanbin's lock screen had been the same picture—a shot from their first date. Now he'd replaced it with some fucking violinist? Just like that?  
  
“Oh wow, Hanbin, he's so pretty! I can't believe you guys got to touch him! Ah, I'm even more jealous! That's too much, you're so lucky!”  
  
Donghyuk's excited response only shoved the knife in deeper, and Bobby had to remind himself to keep breathing, slowly in and out. His irritation and anger had gone from barely simmering to a raging boil, made worse by the sick feeling in his stomach.  
  
Fine. Let Hanbin fawn over some pretty little musician. Maybe this was just the final nail in the coffin, right? Maybe all of Bobby's little feelings of doubt and insecurity were valid. Maybe he wasn't enough. Maybe Hanbin would get swept away by someone better.  
  
“Honestly pictures don't even do him justice,” Jinhwan added, “he's got this magical kind of aura about him, his eyes, they just do things to you! Honestly, I got turned on just talking to him.”  
  
“I'd totally let him fuck me.” Hanbin added in response, unaware of the raging storm going on beside him.  
  
“Oh god me too!” Jinhwan agreed. “Right here on the damn table,” he slapped both hands down against the wood, “if he walked in the door right now and said _drop your pants_ they would be on the floor.”  
  
Donghyuk and Hanbin both burst into laughter, while Junhoe shook his head again and levelled an annoyed glare at Jinhwan. “Hyung, there are families here trying to eat!”  
  
Jinhwan grinned back at him, giving him a playful little wink. He wondered if it bothered Junhoe to hear him talk so casually about another guy? He hoped not, since what they had wasn't anything serious. Junhoe didn't look upset, at least. Didn't he get quiet when he was upset?  
  
“A little extra spice never hurt anyone's meal,” Jinhwan replied, knocking his knee into Junhoe's. Junhoe grinned at the contact but went back to his menu. Jinhwan was certain that meant that his assumptions were correct. Junhoe wasn't bothered.  
  
Junhoe really wasn't bothered by the conversation, despite it not being his first choice of topic. Jinhwan could do whatever he wanted, whoever, too. They weren't dating, after all, didn't even have any kind of exclusive deal going on. Besides it was a celebrity he'd never see again! There was no cause for concern. Except concern that someone might overhear their discussion and complain to management.  
  
“You guys are too much,” Donghyuk said, wiping the tears from his eyes after laughing so hard, “not that I disagree with you, of course.”  
  
Jinhwan grinned at Donghyuk's comment, but any response to it was halted when he looked at Bobby. They'd been friends for so long that Jinhwan knew what every single one of Bobby's faces meant, and right now he was wearing an expression that was all anger, and it made Jinhwan feel terrible.  
  
Of course Bobby would be upset. He was already a little insecure about his relationship, and now he'd just listened to Hanbin talk about some other guy. He himself hadn't helped matters at all, talking about the flower and bringing up how breathtakingly gorgeous the violinist was. He should have known better. He knew they had to address it right away, otherwise Bobby would let it stew all night and it would probably end in an argument, with Bobby saying something he didn't really mean.  
  
“Jiwon-ah! You look upset, are you jealous?” Jinhwan didn't often use Bobby's Korean name, he tended to reserve it for moments like this, when he knew Bobby was upset, and he wanted to have some way to give him a signal that he knew the situation was serious.  
  
Bobby shook his head and continued to stare down at the menu, refusing to raise his eyes. “I'm good.” His voice was strained, though, and Jinhwan knew it meant trouble.  
  
Nothing to do but try to weasel something out of him. “Oh come on, you're jealous, I know you are. Of a musician, too! Some famous guy who lives in the US, just here on tour.” Jinhwan tried to make light of it because it usually yielded faster results than trying to get Bobby to open up. Bobby was not the sort of person who shared his feelings easily, especially not over something so vulnerable.  
  
It was all Bobby could do to keep from blowing up at Jinhwan right now. Was he jealous? _Of course he was jealous!_ One after another, the blows had kept coming: the reminder that there would always be someone better than him, the honey in Hanbin's voice when he'd talked about the guy, the lock screen, and then the comment about getting fucked by him?  
  
And Jinhwan had the audacity to act like he shouldn't be upset? This entire thing was Jinhwan's fault, if he thought about it. Jinhwan had invited Hanbin without asking him. Jinhwan had probably found a way to meet the guy. Jinhwan brought up the sensitive topics.  
  
And now he wanted to make light of the situation?  
  
He was about to reply but then he felt a hand on his leg, Hanbin's hand, and Bobby just wanted to pull away. Despite being angry at Jinhwan, it's not like Hanbin had no fault in this, after all. He couldn't bring himself to look at Hanbin, though. He'd probably crumple if Hanbin looked upset, he'd probably give in and try to console him instead. Which was bullshit.  
  
“Can we just order already? I'm hungry.” Bobby tried to keep the acid out of his tone, tried to deflect the topic even though he hadn't been able to read a single word on the menu. All he kept thinking of was that damn picture on Hanbin's phone. That picture that had _replaced_ him.  
  
He could feel the weight of all four stares on him, he could tell they were all watching him, waiting for something. What the fuck did they want? He was trying to keep things from blowing up, trying to stay civil. He wasn't even sure why, though. The more he thought about it the angrier it made him.  
  
_I'd let him fuck me._  
  
What had possessed Hanbin to even say it in front of him? Why did he think it was okay? How could he just say that and not expect it to cause problems? Bobby couldn't think of anything except a bitter response. _You'd let him fuck you, but what about your own boyfriend? Am I not good enough?_  
  
“Come on, I can tell you're seething about it.” Jinhwan was almost tempted to pull Bobby outside, to let him fly off the handle at him so it would save him from being angry to Hanbin's face, at least.  
  
Why wouldn't Jinhwan just drop it? Bobby finally looked up at him, only for a moment, quickly training his eyes back on the menu. “Seething, huh? Why the hell would I be seething? Not a big deal, every guy would be thrilled to hear his boyfriend talk about fucking someone else.”  
  
Hanbin froze, hearing the venom in Bobby's voice, shocked that he really was angry. Over what, a little celebrity crush? Was Bobby that insecure in their relationship that he'd get that upset over the conversation? Okay, so maybe he could accept a little jealousy, enough to ask for a change in topic. But Bobby was _angry_ and Hanbin couldn't wrap his head around the reason. They were just talking, nothing had actually happened.  
  
He thought back to that moment in Bobby's bedroom, when he'd thought about fleeing the situation instead of staying, because he was thinking about fleeing right now. That wouldn't be productive, though. He had to accept that he'd had a part in making Bobby upset, even if he didn't think it was a good reason.  
  
He was just terrible at accepting things he disagreed with. He'd spent weeks catering to his ex-boyfriend's mood swings during the end of that relationship, and he'd told himself he wouldn't let it happen again.  
  
But Bobby usually wasn't like this. He hadn't struck Hanbin as the type to get jealous over someone else. Bobby was confident and sure of himself, it was a big part of Hanbin's attraction to him. To see him seething in jealousy over his comments was ridiculous. Hanbin didn't know what to say, wasn't sure how to even get Bobby to talk when he refused to look up from the menu.  
  
“Don't be ridiculous, hyung,” Donghyuk's voice surprised them all, “it's not worth being jealous over.”  
  
Bobby looked up from the menu, his eyes on Donghyuk. Donghyuk barely knew him, who was he to say what was worth being upset over?  
  
“Hanbin's crazy about you, this is just a product of post-concert euphoria. Haven't you ever had a little crush on a celebrity before?”  
  
Great. Now Donghyuk was making him look like the bad guy, all because Donghyuk didn't know the whole story. _Perfect._ “Just because I don't like hearing something, it doesn't mean I'm angry about it,” Bobby replied, “you guys are making a big deal out of this when it's nothing. Let's just order our food already.”  
  
He looked back at the menu, but he was sure that everyone was still watching him. Hanbin's hand was back on his leg again and Bobby had to fight the urge to brush it off. Maybe Donghyuk had a point. Maybe he was overreacting a little? Even if he wasn't, this wasn't exactly the place to talk about it. So even though he didn't really want to, Bobby took Hanbin's hand and threaded their fingers together.  
  
He was being stupid. He looked at Hanbin and just as he'd anticipated, the look on Hanbin's face had Bobby feeling protective. He forced himself to smile, but he could tell it wasn't enough, because Hanbin still looked lost.  
  
_You're so fucking whipped for this kid, you idiot._  
  
Bobby leaned over and planted a kiss on Hanbin's cheek, making it as loud as possible, and only then did Hanbin smile properly, that cute little dimple coming out. Bobby let go of Hanbin's hand and instead put his arm around his shoulders, pulling him a bit closer. That seemed to placate Hanbin, Bobby could feel it in his body language. Hanbin leaned into him and reached out to grab onto the menu Bobby was still holding, pulling it closer until they could both read it.  
  
Bobby kissed his cheek again and wondered if he'd ever be able to stay upset with Hanbin over anything. Maybe it was a good thing that he couldn't. His father often said that the key to a long and happy relationship lay in being able to let go of things that weren't important.  
  
So Hanbin had talked about fucking that stupid violin guy—it's not like he would ever get the chance, though. So he'd changed his lock screen. Bobby doubted he'd keep that picture there forever. The concert had only happened two days ago. Hanbin had kept it as a picture of their first date for a month, it would still be their first date if not for the concert.  
  
He'd just have to do something for Hanbin that was more exciting than a concert. He'd have to remind him why seeing Bobby's face should take priority over the violinist.  
  
“So are we all resolved now? No more hard feelings?” Jinhwan asked, because he wanted to be sure. Surprisingly it seemed like Bobby had calmed down. It usually took longer for him to get over things. Maybe he wasn't really over it, though? Was he trying to move on because he thought he was outnumbered? Trying to save face?  
  
Bobby looked up from the menu that he'd finally started to read, his eyes locking on Jinhwan's. “The only _hard feelings_ I have are for my hot boyfriend.” He winked at Jinhwan before returning his attention to the menu, and he was rewarded with a kiss on the cheek from Hanbin, and squealing laughter from Donghyuk.  
  
Junhoe, on the hand, gave him nothing but a disgusted sigh. “Can you two momentarily go back to being awkward, please? You're absolutely disgusting right now and I've lost my appetite.”  
  
“Don't worry, Junhoe, I have something to feed you.” Hanbin grinned at him from across the table, winking when Junhoe finally looked at him.  
  
“I hope it's not your dick.” Junhoe replied, frowning at Hanbin.  
  
“Nope, that's exclusively for Bobby oppa.” Hanbin replied teasingly, punctuating the comment with a kiss to Bobby's neck. Bobby grinned and Junhoe huffed in disgust.  
  
“Ugh, god you're disgusting. So what is it, then?” Junhoe stared at Hanbin, and even though he seemed bothered on the outside, on the inside he was happy and relieved that the tension between Hanbin and Bobby had abated so quickly. He thought Bobby had a point, but at the same time he knew that Hanbin didn't really understand jealousy.  
  
Hanbin grinned back at him, balling one hand into a fist. “A knuckle sandwich.”  
  
Jinhwan clucked and shook his head. “Ah, Hanbin! I don't think Junhoe is quite experienced enough for a proper fisting.”  
  
All five of them broke into laughter at the comment, even Junhoe, and it was like every speck of awkwardness was removed from them. They finally focused enough on the menus to order, and the conversation went back to basketball for a while.  
  
A distraction came about half an hour later.  
  
“Junhoe-ya! Second time this week that we meet unexpectedly.”  
  
Junhoe looked up from his bowl of noodles. “Are you stalking me, hyung?”  
  
Yunhyeong shrugged. “I might be, so you better watch out!” He looked around the table, not recognizing two of the guys but having a good guess as to who they might be. “Hey Hanbin, hey Donghyuk!”  
  
Hanbin waved to him (unable to speak with his mouth full) while Donghyuk gave a proper greeting.  
  
“Yunhyeong hyung, it's good to see you again.” He smiled warmly, more than pleased to see his newest crush again. It didn't even matter what it was for—Yunhyeong was just nice to look at.  
  
Yunhyeong nodded back at him before turning his attention to the guy beside Hanbin. Had to be the new boyfriend.  
  
“Hi, I'm Bobby, Hanbin's boyfriend.” Bobby stood up and shook his hand, and they both bowed politely to each other.  
  
“I thought so! I've heard your name a few times, it's nice to meet you!” Bobby wasn't quite what Yunhyeong had expected, but Hanbin looked at him with such a fond expression that Yunhyeong thought it was cute. He turned to the other guy, taking in his appearance. Was it Junhoe's mysterious friend, maybe?  
  
“I'm Jinhwan, I'm their chaperone.”  
  
Yunhyeong grinned at the joke, and suddenly wondered if it was possible that Jinhwan was Junhoe's friend with benefits? Could it possibly be? They were friends now, of course, but had enough time passed for Junhoe to let go of all of his animosity towards Jinhwan? They didn't really seem physically close, but then he couldn't really compare them to Hanbin and Bobby.  
  
And if it was Jinhwan, Junhoe would probably want to hide it from Hanbin, wouldn't he? Yunhyeong needed some time to process the possibilities.  
  
“Well it's nice to finally meet the two of you, but I just came over to say hi, I have to get back to my date. See you around!” Yunhyeong bowed and left their table, heading back to his own. He sat down opposite a girl and Donghyuk frowned when he saw, letting out a sad sigh without realizing it.  
  
Junhoe heard it though and looked over at him, guessing what the look of dejection was for. “Ah, don't be disheartened, Donghyuk! That's his sister.”  
  
Hanbin's head snapped up and turned to look at Donghyuk too. “Wait, don't tell me you have a thing for Yunhyeong hyung?”  
  
Donghyuk smiled shyly and shrugged. “Why, should I not have a thing for him?”  
  
“No, I mean, it's fine, there's nothing wrong with him.” Hanbin replied, looking at Junhoe. “I don't think he's into guys, though, is he?”  
  
“No idea, he doesn't really talk about himself when we're together.” Junhoe shrugged.  
  
“Ah right, he just listens to you blather on about yourself,” Hanbin teased before looking back at Donghyuk, “even if you are going to have a crush on a straight guy, at least it's a cute one.”  
  
“Hey now, Hanbin, watch yourself.” Junhoe teased, though he hoped that Bobby wouldn't take offense to the comment.  
  
“It's fine,” Hanbin replied dismissively, grinning at Bobby, “I'm not into cute guys anyway, so it's okay.”  
  
“Oh yeah?” Bobby replied, and he wasn't bothered at all by Hanbin's comment this time. He didn't know Yunhyeong, but he clearly wasn't a threat. “What kind of guys are you into?”  
  
Hanbin dropped his gaze to Bobby's chest, travelling back up slowly. “I like hot guys.”  
  
Bobby couldn't stop himself from smiling.  
  
“Then why are you with Bobby hyung?” Junhoe teased before he could stop himself.  
  
Bobby glared at him but Hanbin was quick to respond.  
  
“Have you seen him without a shirt on?” He slid a hand over Bobby's chest before squeezing his bicep. “He's stacked, it's super hot.”  
  
Bobby hoped he wasn't blushing. Normally he'd be the one showing his own upper body off at comments like this, but something about hearing it out of Hanbin's mouth just made it a little better. Of course he knew that Hanbin liked his physique, but it wasn't something he ever said out loud with words. It was nice hearing it.  
  
Junhoe groaned again and everything went back to normal. They finished their dinner and left, and Donghyuk pleaded with them to go over and say goodbye to Yunhyeong, just to look at him again. Once they were outside Bobby and Hanbin walked side by side, Bobby's arm slung around Hanbin's shoulders, holding him tightly.  
  
Donghyuk was right. Hanbin _was_ crazy about him. Bobby just wasn't used to dating someone he was also crazy about, and he really needed to figure out how to get a handle on the whole jealousy thing. It wasn't something that should have made him so angry earlier. It was just wounded pride and insecurity, they were a dangerous combination that he sorely needed to avoid.  
  
Eventually they decided to get drinks and sit down outside a cafe near the river. Jinhwan asked Junhoe about the dance moves he was teaching Donghyuk, and soon enough the three of them were up practicing, leaving Bobby and Hanbin alone at their table.  
  
“So, about dinner tomorrow,” Bobby started, looking at Hanbin with a playful grin, “decided where you're taking me?”  
  
Hanbin frowned and looked at his friends. Junhoe was demonstrating the move for Jinhwan, who was staring intently at him, and Hanbin once again was certain there was something more going on. “Ah, there's still one night left!”  
  
“Not gonna happen,” Bobby replied, “especially not if Donghyuk's third wheeling.”  
  
“You never know, Jinhwan might sneak out tonight and wind up at Junhoe's!” Hanbin joked.  
  
“Nope, I'm locking him in his room as soon as we get home, he's not going anywhere.”  
  
Hanbin shook his head and tore his eyes away from them, looking at Bobby. The look on Bobby's face was tenderly affectionate, and it wasn't really something Hanbin was used to seeing. Woosung had never looked at him like that, not once in their entire relationship. Bobby often looked at him like that, though, and it always made Hanbin feel warm all over. “Maybe you should sneak out some time and come visit me.”  
  
Bobby's eyes lit up. “Tell me when and I'm there.”  
  
Hanbin wished he had the nerve to do it, which was kind of weird when he thought about it. Everything with Bobby was so different compared to Woosung—he himself was most different, though. He was happy with Bobby, all the time, the way he thought you were supposed to be happy when you were dating. It wasn't just because it was new, either. Bobby was just a better match for him.  
  
He leaned in closer and Bobby kissed the top of his head. “Well if you haven't decided on a place yet, I think we should go for barbeque, but at a top place, and get the best meat.”  
  
Hanbin laughed at the suggestion. “So you're not only going to make me pay, but you're going to make me cook for you too?”  
  
“Yeah, and you can feed me too.” Bobby teased before kissing him again.  
  
Hanbin took his phone out, quickly typing in his password. He paused for a moment, eyes on his phone background. It was the first picture Bobby had ever sent him, before their first official date. Hanbin still thought it was the most perfect picture of Bobby that existed. He opened his browser, looking for higher end barbeque places in the city.  
  
His dad had already promised him that he could use his credit card for the dinner if needed, and had told him that he could go wherever he wanted as long as he was responsible about the money. Maybe they should go somewhere nice, somewhere they could dress up a little.  
  
Bobby heard Hanbin typing on his phone and he cautiously looked down, surprised to see him checking out restaurants. “So do you give up, then?” Bobby asked.  
  
Hanbin sighed and looked out at his friends again. They were doing the moonwalk, and all three of them were smiling and laughing. But Junhoe's eyes kept lingering on Jinhwan, and it killed Hanbin. He just knew there was something going on. Junhoe didn't look at guys the way he was looking at Jinhwan, not unless he was attracted to them.  
  
“Ah, I think I have to. They're hiding whatever's going on, I know it. It's like they don't want me to know.”  
  
“Of course they don't want you to know,” Bobby replied, “they're probably worried you'd tease the hell out of them.”  
  
“Well they're not wrong,” Hanbin replied with a laugh, “but still! You see it too, don't you?”  
  
Bobby didn't mind admitting it now that the bet was pretty much over. “Yeah, there might be something going on. Can't say for sure, but it seems likely.”  
  
Hanbin frowned again and watched them. Their behaviour was very flirty, and at one point Jinhwan caught Hanbin staring at them. Jinhwan winked at him before turning his attention back to Junhoe, and Hanbin was certain Jinhwan was doing it just to taunt him.  
  
Oh well. They'd be open about their relationship eventually, and when they were Hanbin would tease them twice as hard.


	27. Circle Jerk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jinhwan and Bobby have a much-needed chat after they get home on Friday night. Saturday night movie with Junhoe and Jinhwan!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally the JunHwan "date"! It comes with an explicit chapter warning. ;)
> 
> But first, have a BobHwan moment that was supposed to go in the last chapter, but I couldn't get it done in time. And speaking of not getting things done, the Double B dinner date will be next chapter, sorry! ♥

It was just after midnight by the time Bobby and Jinhwan made it back home, and Bobby was certain he would have caught shit for being a few minutes past his Friday night curfew had it not been for Jinhwan's quick answer that they were late because Bobby had wanted to walk Hanbin back to his place first (which was a lie, because Hanbin's dad had come to pick them up on his way home from a work function). At Hanbin's name his mom lost her stern expression and instead said that she'd overlook it this time because it was sweet that Bobby wanted to make sure Hanbin was safe.  
  
They parted in the hall and Bobby just wanted to go to bed. It had been a great night with the group, but now that they were apart his mind kept dragging up the awkward and uncomfortable beginning. Why couldn't he just get over it, already? Hanbin had just made an offhand comment about a celebrity musician. It's not like he'd been flirting with another guy in front of him. In fact Hanbin had been very flirty with him during the night, the way he always was.  
  
Maybe it was just all in Bobby's head.  
  
He kicked off his jeans and left them in a pile on his floor before dropping his hoodie and t-shirt on top, then his socks. He didn't want to bother taking a shower, so instead he just pulled on another t-shirt and got into bed. Just as he was about to turn off his lamp his door opened and Jinhwan poked his head around the corner.  
  
“Hey, can we talk for a bit?”  
  
“Yeah sure, what's going on?” Bobby noticed that Jinhwan looked a little apprehensive, he wasn't even coming into the room. Usually Jinhwan had a habit of barging in without knocking, so this behaviour was a little strange for him.  
  
Jinhwan walked into the room and shut the door behind him before making his way over to Bobby's bed. He sat down next to him, staring silently for a moment without talking.  
  
“Is everything okay, Jinan?” Bobby couldn't help but feel worried. This behaviour was so unlike Jinhwan. Had something happened? Did he just get an upsetting phone call or something?  
  
Jinhwan smiled at him when he asked the question. “I'm okay, nothing's wrong. I've just been meaning to talk to you for the past few days, but every time an opportunity came up I chickened out because I didn't want to spoil your mood.”  
  
“Okay, this doesn't sound good,” Bobby reached out for him, tugging on his arm until Jinhwan laid down next to him, “tell me what's up.”  
  
“It's not that bad really,” Jinhwan replied, settling in with his head on Bobby's chest, “actually I just want to apologize to you. Maybe you're not even upset anymore, but I've been feeling guilty and I need to get it off my chest.”  
  
Bobby didn't know what to say. Jinhwan, apologize? This didn't happen often. “Apologize for what? What did you do?”  
  
“The whole concert thing,” Jinhwan started, “I'm sorry I didn't mention it to you before asking Hanbin. I meant to, really, but I was so happy that church with your grandma went well, and my excitement just got ahead of me.” Bobby might be over it now, but Jinhwan knew that he'd been pissed when it happened. He wasn't willing to risk leaving that hanging over their heads.  
  
The concert invitation? Bobby breathed a sigh of relief. He'd been worried that something else had occurred behind his back, and now that he knew that nothing had the concert thing seemed like such a non-issue. “Ah, don't worry about that, it wasn't a big deal. I'm happy you asked him to go, he really enjoyed it.”

“It was a big deal, though, don't pretend like it wasn't. I could tell you were pissed as soon as I looked at you that day,” Jinhwan tilted his head up to look at Bobby, who was wearing a grin now because he knew he couldn't deny what Jinhwan had said, “it was thoughtless of me not to ask you. Just because I think of Hanbin as my friend now, that doesn't mean that I should stop thinking about him as your boyfriend, too. I'd have been angry if our situations were reversed, so I need to apologize for doing it.” He felt lighter after addressing it.  
  
Even though Bobby didn't think he'd still been upset about that, he was surprised to find that he felt relieved to hear Jinhwan's apology. He'd buried the anger over it, instead of letting it go. He could let it go now, though. “Thanks Jinan,” he whispered, his arm tightening around Jinhwan's shoulders, “I, uh, appreciate the apology.”  
  
Jinhwan smiled and hugged him back. “I also wanted to apologize about the conversation tonight, about you know who.” This was actually the part of the conversation he'd been most afraid of, but he wanted to address it while it was fresh.  
  
Bobby tensed up at the comment because he did not want to talk about this particular subject. He probably should, since it didn't seem to want to leave him alone, but it made him feel too vulnerable.  
  
Jinhwan didn't wait for a response before carrying on. “I know it upset you, and you had every right to be upset.”  
  
Bobby closed his eyes for a moment before answering, trying to keep himself from thinking about it again. “Jinan, I appreciate it, but we really don't need to talk about this.”  
  
Jinhwan wasn't about to let him off the hook, though. He'd had a hand in creating the mess, so he wanted to try and fix it at least a little. “We do, though. You're not still mad at Hanbin for saying what he said, are you?”  
  
Was he? No. He'd let it go. Or buried it again. One of the two. He couldn't promise it wouldn't come back to haunt him one day, though, but he wasn't ready to admit that to anyone. “Of course not, are you kidding? It wasn't a big deal.” Okay it had definitely been a big deal at the time, but he was over it now. No point in rehashing it. Besides, if he was going to talk to anyone about it, shouldn't it be Hanbin? And he wasn't about to do that. He had too much pride for that conversation, didn't want to let Hanbin know that he'd hurt his feelings. That shit happened sometimes. He could deal with it.  
  
“It was a big deal, Bobby. Can you stop pretending it wasn't? It's okay to admit that you were hurt by it. It was thoughtless, he shouldn't have said it.” Jinhwan looked up at him, wished that Bobby would just admit that he'd felt bad about it. He didn't want this to grow into something that Bobby would carry like a weight hanging around his neck.  
  
Bobby looked at Jinhwan, meeting his eyes, tried to figure out what had even sparked the conversation. As close as they were, they didn't often talk about their relationships with each other. Bobby found it too vulnerable, and Jinhwan was often too secretive. This wasn't something Bobby wanted to talk about, though. He'd dealt with it already, buried it. He didn't want to go digging the hurt feelings back up again. “Yeah well, I've been thoughtless to him too, so it was deserved. We're even now.” That much was true, at least. He'd hurt Hanbin the weekend before, so maybe this time it had just been karma's way of reminding him to do his best to be good to the people he cared about.  
  
Jinhwan sighed at the response, almost in disappointment. Bobby was tempted to push him off the bed.  
  
“It just made me realize that Hanbin and I have that in common,” Jinhwan started to explain, grinning when Bobby looked at him in confusion.  
  
“Have what in common?”  
  
“We both forget to think about other people's feelings before talking.” Jinhwan replied, and he grinned when it suddenly made Bobby laugh. “I'm serious, Bobby!”  
  
“You're way worse than Hanbin,” Bobby teased back, laughing again when Jinhwan pouted at him.  
  
“Well, I'm trying to make up for that, okay? Stop laughing at me, that was supposed to be a serious comment.” Jinhwan grinned and laid his head back on Bobby's chest, smiling when Bobby hugged him again.  
  
“I guess I just attract thoughtless people to me, then,” Bobby teased. Jinhwan grumbled and Bobby was surprised to find that he actually felt a lot better about things. Maybe Jinhwan was right. It had been thoughtless, and it was okay to feel hurt by it. But at the end of the day it probably wasn't that big of a deal. It was just the first time Hanbin had hurt his feelings, so he'd overreacted.  
  
Jinhwan closed his eyes for a moment, happy he'd talked himself into having the conversation with Bobby now. Turns out they'd both really needed it. It was also just nice to lay together and talk. It had been part of their daily routine when they'd been roommates, but they hadn't done it since Jinhwan had gotten his own room.  
  
Bobby was thinking the same, reminiscing on all the nights he and Jinhwan had spent over the years, laying together and talking about themselves. Those conversations had been a big help when Bobby had finally come out. He'd always be grateful to Jinhwan for that.  
  
But now that they were here again, Bobby couldn't help but think about Jinhwan these days, and his bet with Hanbin came to mind. It was technically over, since it was past midnight, so would there be any harm if he outright asked? He went for it.  
  
“Okay since we're talking about ourselves, I have to ask you something.”  
  
“Should I be worried?” Jinhwan asked, grinning when Bobby shrugged.  
  
“Is there something going on between you and Junhoe?” Bobby asked outright, trying to be casual in his question.  
  
“Do you have Hanbin on speaker phone?” Jinhwan asked, sitting up and grabbing Bobby's phone from his bedside table.  
  
“What? No!” Bobby laughed, watching as Jinhwan correctly guessed his phone password. “Hey! How did you guess that?”  
  
Jinhwan looked back at him with a critical eye. “Lucky guess. Just so you know, Hanbin's phone password is the same thing.” 0915—their first date. Jinhwan had thought it was cute when he saw Hanbin use it, and now that he'd confirmed that Bobby was using it too, he thought it was downright romantic. He'd never say that to Bobby's face, though.  
  
“How do you know Hanbin's phone password?” Bobby asked, staring at Jinhwan in disbelief.  
  
“I only saw him enter it like a dozen times at the concert,” Jinhwan replied, “couldn't help but notice.”  
  
“God, Jinan, you're so nosey!” Even so, Bobby was trying to keep from smiling. Knowing that they'd both changed their passwords without saying anything to each other?  
  
Jinhwan grinned back at him. “I can't believe he still has that super hot picture I took of you as his background though. I still think you should have paid me for that, it's probably the single most perfect picture of you anyone has ever taken.”  
  
“What picture is that?” Bobby asked. Okay, so maybe this proved that he definitely had gone overboard earlier. If Hanbin hadn't gotten tired of the same picture of him for a month, he was okay.  
  
“Do you not remember that day? You were being a loser, asking me if it was too early to send Hanbin a picture. That's the moment I knew Hanbin was going to be different.” Jinhwan teased him.  
  
Bobby felt like shoving him off the bed again. He had been a little embarrassing perhaps at the start of things, but it had all worked out for the best anyway. He thought about that day, remembered Jinhwan texting Hanbin for him—  
  
“Hey hold on, I know what you're doing!” Bobby stated suddenly, grabbing his phone out of Jinhwan's hand.  
  
“What are you talking about?” Jinhwan asked, confused expression staring back.  
  
“You're using this conversation to distract me from my question about you and Junhoe!” Oh, Hanbin would be proud of him for recognizing it! Jinhwan shook his head but Bobby had a feeling that he was right. “Stop lying, I know you. When you don't want to talk about something you always manage to shift the conversation to something else.”  
  
“I do not!” Jinhwan replied, grinning because Bobby was right.  
  
“Quit lying to me. Anyway, so what's the deal? You and Junhoe?” Bobby didn't really care that much, to be honest. But teasing Jinhwan was fun.  
  
“Are you asking for Hanbin? Because he's been prying lately for some strange reason. Is he that desperate to hook Junhoe up?” Jinhwan knew he had to be careful.  
  
“We had a bet,” Bobby replied, deciding to just tell Jinhwan about it.  
  
“What kind of bet?” Jinhwan asked, even though he was pretty sure he could figure out the gist of it. It certainly explained Hanbin's prying.  
  
“Hanbin thought you guys were going to hook up within a month, thought there was a spark between you.” Bobby figured it couldn't hurt to mention it, now that the bet was over and he'd won.  
  
“Oh did he? Does he think my standards are that low?” Jinhwan joked.  
  
Bobby made a face at him. “Are you telling me you wouldn't, if the opportunity came up?” He asked, wondering if Jinhwan would even give him a concrete answer.  
  
“He's Hanbin's best friend, Bobby! I wouldn't even dream of messing that up. I mean sure, he's attractive. He'd probably be terrible in bed, though.” Jinhwan couldn't help but grin. He was planning to find out exactly how Junhoe was in bed very soon, if the fates allowed it.  
  
“You think so?” Bobby wondered what Junhoe's reaction would be to hearing that. He could almost see the glare in his mind.  
  
Jinhwan smirked and nodded. “Guaranteed. How's Hanbin in bed?”  
  
Bobby grinned back at him. “Are you deflecting again?”  
  
Jinhwan laughed and shook his head. “Not this time, actually. Legitimately curious this time.”  
  
Bobby shrugged, because he still didn't have an answer to that question. “I actually still don't know.”  
  
Jinhwan tried not to laugh. “Wow, Hanbin really is different for you. Have you bought rings yet? When are your parents meeting each other?” Jinhwan teased. “If Korea ever legalizes gay marriage, you're gonna make me your best man at the wedding, right?”  
  
“Sure, except I'll rename the position as my worst man.” Bobby teased back. Jinhwan punched his arm.  
  
“Alright, well I said all I wanted to say, so I guess we should get some sleep now.” Jinhwan sat up and looked down at Bobby, who just smiled and nodded up at him.  
  
“Yeah, we probably should.” Bobby felt like he ought to say more but he hesitated, waiting until Jinhwan was right at his door. “Hey, Jinan?”  
  
Jinhwan turned around. “Yeah?”  
  
“Thanks for the talk. About everything. It helped.”  
  
Jinhwan grinned back at him, trying his best not to laugh. It was rare to see Bobby so genuine and almost soft, and he didn't want to tease him. “You're welcome. Thanks for not being mad at me.”  
  
“Ah, you'd have to do more than any of that for me to be mad at you.” He reached over and turned off his lamp. “Now get the fuck out of my room, and let's never talk about this again.”  
  
Jinhwan laughed and left, closing the door behind him. Everything was better now. He'd helped Bobby, he'd helped himself, and they both had hot dates the following night. He couldn't ask for much more.

* * *

  
“I can't believe you made me come all the way out here,” Junhoe greeted Jinhwan with a complaint, irritated after spending ten minutes wandering around the subway station looking for him, only to find him sitting on a bench at almost exactly the spot where Junhoe had gotten off the train.  
  
“I plan on taking you even further.” Jinhwan replied with a suggestive wink, though the meaning was lost on Junhoe.  
  
“What? Why? I'm sure there has to be a movie theatre around here somewhere,” Junhoe replied, staring at Jinhwan until he suddenly got the joke.  
  
Jinhwan grinned at him before hopping up to his feet. “That was cute.” He took off for the stairs to get outside, Junhoe following closely beside him, still frowning.  
  
“That was a lame joke, by the way.” Junhoe grumbled, cursing when he nearly tripped going up the stairs. He blamed it on the shoes. He was wearing a new pair of thick soled boots, heavier than the previous pair he'd been wearing. Stairs were a nuisance while he got used to them.  
  
Jinhwan stifled a laugh over the tripping. “Don't be upset because it took you a moment to catch on.” He wasn't going to deny himself the opportunity to tease him over the lost joke, though.  
  
“I'm not upset.” They exited the station and Junhoe looked around, no clue where they were. How did Jinhwan even know this part of the city?  
  
“It's okay, really, you're here to learn, aren't you?” Jinhwan teased, grinning when Junhoe tried to shove him into the wall. Jinhwan managed to twist away at just the right second to avoid the collision, skipping in front of Junhoe in a taunting manner.  
  
“I still don't see why we had to come all the way out here,” Junhoe grumbled. He'd been on the subway for half an hour, which was ridiculous just to go and see a movie. There was a theatre he could walk to in ten minutes.  
  
“I have my reasons.” Jinhwan replied, being purposefully vague and elusive. “Quit whining, it's unbecoming.”  
  
“Yeah well, so's your face.” Junhoe replied.  
  
“Hey, this face is hopefully going to be making you come later on, so you should be a little nicer to me.” Jinhwan replied smugly, grinning when it made Junhoe flush. He wondered how long that would last, Junhoe's automatic embarrassment any time he unexpectedly brought up anything sexual? It was cute.  
  
Junhoe wanted to look around to see who was near, concerned with being overheard. But Jinhwan didn't seem to care, so maybe he shouldn't care either? “Sorry hyung, but your face alone isn't enough to do it for me.” Junhoe shot back, annoyed when it just made Jinhwan laugh.  
  
“Okay well, technically I meant my mouth, but now those chances have slimmed down.” Jinhwan grinned and bumped into Junhoe with his shoulder, playfully pushing him into the building wall.  
  
Junhoe's first instinct was to be annoyed, but then he realized that he was just lingering on irritation from having to travel far. Jinhwan enjoyed teasing people, so Junhoe was just playing right into him. He should probably stop doing that if he wanted to regain equal footing tonight.  
  
“That's fine, hyung. If I want to come that bad I can just use my own hand.” Junhoe looked down at him and Jinhwan laughed at his retort, and Jinhwan's laughter made Junhoe laugh as well.  
  
As much as Jinhwan loved teasing Junhoe, he was happy to see his laughing face come out to replace his scowl. They were supposed to have fun tonight, so needed to make sure he didn't tease Junhoe too much. “I'll remember that later when you're unsatisfied with yourself and begging me,” Jinhwan replied, reaching out to link his arm with Junhoe's, “you'll be eating your words.”  
  
Junhoe was a little surprised when Jinhwan got so close to him, but it was nice. “I'll eat my words when you eat my dick.” He grinned when it made Jinhwan laugh even harder. The walk to the movie theatre didn't take long, and Junhoe frowned when they got there. The outside of the building left a lot to be desired.  
  
“Is this place even still running?” He asked, looking suspiciously at Jinhwan.  
  
“Of course,” Jinhwan replied, letting go of his arm before leading the way inside, “remember not to judge a book by its cover.” Junhoe rolled his eyes at the comment but followed him in, not sure if he was supposed to expect something really nice on the inside of the building.  
  
Because it wasn't nice. It was every bit as run down looking in the lobby, to the point that he almost felt a little uncomfortable being there. It seemed like somewhere sketchy people would go. Jinhwan walked up to the ticket counter, though, and ordered two tickets for the movie they'd agreed to go see. Junhoe just stood back and looked around, his dubious gaze settling on the concession stand. The popcorn would probably be burnt.  
  
“Alright, let's go in.” Jinhwan was back at his side and Junhoe followed him down the hall, not at all pleased with being here. Maybe the screening room would be nice? Because otherwise why would Jinhwan have made the comment about not judging the place before getting inside? They finally found their room and walked in, and Junhoe felt exasperated.  
  
“Wow, this movie theatre's really grungy,” he grumbled, standing at the door with his arms crossed over his chest. “This is what you dragged me all the way out here for?”  
  
“Sure is,” Jinhwan replied, looking around the empty room, “part of it's charm.”  
  
“There's nothing charming about how gross this place is,” Junhoe replied, wrinkling his nose in disgust. There were wads of gum on the floor and on the backs of most seats—he didn't even want to sit down. But Jinhwan walked across the back row, right to the middle, and promptly sat down.  
  
“Get your butt over here,” Jinhwan called to him, patting the seat next to him, “don't worry, it's clean.”  
  
“I highly doubt that.” Junhoe followed anyway, sitting down next to Jinhwan.  
  
“See, the seats are still comfortable, right?” Jinhwan grinned as he watched him, tempted to laugh at Junhoe's obvious displeasure.  
  
“Sure, and I'll probably wind up in the hospital later with a staph infection.”  
  
Jinhwan laughed at his response. “I'll come visit you if that happens, I promise.”  
  
Junhoe looked at him out of the corner of his eye. “You won't need to, you'll be in the bed next to me, hooked up to your own IV.” Junhoe glared when it just made Jinhwan laugh even harder. Junhoe still couldn't figure out for the life of him why Jinhwan would pick this place to come to. How did he even find it?  
  
Jinhwan stopped laughing and instead turned to face Junhoe, laying a hand on his arm. “I could be in the bed _with_ you instead.”  
  
Junhoe snorted at his response. “Yeah, I'm sure the doctors will approve of that.”  
  
Jinhwan wasn't deterred, though. “I'll tell them it's a tried and true home remedy from Jeju!” Jinhwan teased back, feeling victorious when it made Junhoe grin.  
  
“Well, I guess it'll alleviate the boredom of being stuck in the hospital alone, at least.”  
  
“We can play doctor all night,” Jinhwan carried on, “give each other full physical examinations.”  
  
That made Junhoe's grin grown a little wider. “Steal a nurses' outfit and make it more fun,” Junhoe suggested.  
  
“Never did any role play before, could be good!” Jinhwan replied, laughing at the visual of either of them in a nurses' outfit. He spoke his next sentence in a higher pitched voice. “Excuse me sir, but you'll have to roll over, I need to give you an injection.”  
  
Junhoe couldn't hold it anymore, laughing at Jinhwan's joke. Why not play along? “What will you be injecting me with, nurse?”  
  
“My special antidote,” Jinhwan replied, “it's very important that the shot be injected in your ass.” They both burst into loud laughter at that line.  
  
The lights went all the way down then and the screen curtain pulled back, the viewing room coming to life finally. Jinhwan squeezed his arm. “So now do you see why I brought you here specifically?”  
  
“What, so we could book a hospital room together?” Junhoe replied.  
  
Jinhwan laughed but shook his head. “No, you idiot. Because we're alone. No one else is here.”  
  
Junhoe sat up and looked around, and even though it had gone dark there was still light from the commercials now playing on the screen to illuminate the theatre, and Jinhwan was right. They were the only two people in the theatre. It was both exciting but just a little scary too. Sure, there was no one else here _now,_ but what could stop someone from coming in during the movie? What was Jinhwan planning on doing in the darkness?  
  
Jinhwan waited for an answer, but when none came he just smirked and laid a hand on Junhoe's thigh. “You don't have a problem with this, do you?”  
  
Junhoe couldn't believe how invasive the hand felt, but it also sent a little shiver of pleasurable anticipation up his spine. “Not at all, hyung. The screen still seems to be working just fine.”  
  
Jinhwan laughed at his answer. “You know that's not what I mean!”  
  
“No?” Junhoe replied, confused tone just to annoy Jinhwan. “Are you not planning on watching the movie?”  
  
Jinhwan narrowed his eyes and leaned in closer. “Maybe bits and pieces of it,” he replied, before moving his hand further in on Junhoe's thigh, “I think I'll be preoccupied with something else, though.”  
  
Junhoe couldn't help but tense just a bit when Jinhwan moved his hand. Was he actually getting turned on _already?_ Just from a mere hand on the thigh? Inside of the thigh, rather, but still. He looked down at Jinhwan's hand, watching as the fingers extended out further, creeping up the inside of his leg. Was Jinhwan going for it right now? Before the movie had even started? “Hyung--”  
  
“Don't worry,” Jinhwan replied, “I'll wait until the movie actually starts, just to make sure no one comes in.” He kept his hand on Junhoe's leg, though, irritatingly just out of reach of where his body was straining for contact.  
  
Junhoe had always hated commercials before movies, but now they felt like the worst thing in the world. The previews, too, felt extremely long. But that was good, though, it could give him time to get a grip on himself. Was he really about to do something with Jinhwan, in some grungy old movie theatre? Was that really happening?  
  
He thought back to the last time they'd messed around, during their training session. It had mainly been all Jinhwan's instigation, Jinhwan leading everything. Should he be more aggressive today? Was Jinhwan going to expect anything from him, other than being a participant?  
  
Before he could talk himself out of it he hastily put his own hand on Jinhwan's thigh, trying to be casual and refusing to look at Jinhwan. Okay so their arms were weirdly crisscrossed and it was a little uncomfortable so maybe he should have thought the movement through a bit, but whatever. He could deal with it.  
  
Jinhwan was amused at the sudden move from Junhoe. Was it a move born out of uncertainty? Was he trying to hide his nerves? It was cute, whatever it was. Cute and awkward. Jinhwan had meant to keep his own hand relatively innocent until they were a few minutes into the movie, but with Junhoe's hand there he almost felt challenged.  
  
So he moved his hand a little, his fingers creeping closer to Junhoe's crotch. Junhoe started bouncing his leg slightly, probably unaware of it, and it made Jinhwan grin. He was definitely nervous.  
  
The movie finally started then, but Jinhwan wasn't paying any attention to it. Instead he was watching Junhoe, the glow from the screen illuminating his face. Jinhwan really liked Junhoe's face, thought it was gorgeous. His bone structure and jawline were sharp and angled. He had the sort of face that Jinhwan actually envied. His own was too cute, he thought it didn't really match his personality.  
  
Junhoe's leg wasn't bouncing anymore, and Jinhwan wondered if he was distracting himself from his nerves by paying attention to the movie. It was nothing Jinhwan couldn't combat. He laid the flat of his palm against the bulge of Junhoe's crotch, grinning when he felt how hard Junhoe was already. _Perfect._  
  
Junhoe hadn't been expecting it yet, and when he felt Jinhwan's hand he tensed a little, wishing he wasn't affected so easily. It was just because he was so inexperienced, that's what he'd keep telling himself. It wasn't Jinhwan so much as it was _someone else's hand_ and not his own. If he could just keep focusing on the movie, he'd be able to calm himself down just enough to hopefully not be embarrassing.  
  
Because he really wanted Jinhwan to blow him again. Or give him a hand job. Junhoe didn't care which one he got. It was amazing the last time, and he knew it would be amazing again.  
  
Jinhwan squeezed his hand a little, watching Junhoe's face as he battled against himself. Junhoe's lips parted when Jinhwan squeezed, his eyes went wide. Jinhwan couldn't help but wonder if he had been this easy too at the start? This cute? There was a power in being able to affect another person so strongly and it was intoxicating.  
  
Junhoe tried to keep his focus on the movie, tried to pay attention to the dialogue, but it was growing increasingly difficult with the increase in pressure from Jinhwan. He'd forgotten his own hand, laying useless against Jinhwan's leg, didn't remember it was there until his arm got a little tingly from being held out at a weird angle. Could he move it, though? He'd probably look stupid if he took it back.  
  
Jinhwan decided it was time to take it up another notch, and without warning he moved his hand, quickly unbuttoning the top of Junhoe's jeans. He pulled the zipper down as well, feeling victorious when Junhoe let out an audible gasp at his actions. Junhoe's attention was off of the movie now, his eye on Jinhwan's hand.  
  
Before Junhoe could say anything Jinhwan slipped his hand in underneath Junhoe's underwear, fingers closing deftly around his dick. He gripped it tightly and Junhoe closed his eyes, bit the inside of his cheek so he didn't make any noise.  
  
What if someone were to come in right at this second? Another movie-goer, or a member of the staff? They'd see him laid out in the chair, Jinhwan's hand down his pants. Junhoe would be mortified. He put his left arm on the arm rest and wished he had something to hold up to hide it. Of course that would just make it super obvious, but he'd take it over someone actually seeing them.  
  
Jinhwan grinned at the arm, could tell that Junhoe was probably nervous about being walked in on. Jinhwan wasn't worried at all, though. It's not like they were the only people to ever make out in a movie theatre. He slid his hand up Junhoe's dick, albeit lightly, because he wasn't about to jerk him off hard without lubrication. He rubbed his thumb over the tip of Junhoe's dick, pleased when it made Junhoe gasp.  
  
Jinhwan had him exactly where he wanted him. Unlike the last time, though, Jinhwan wasnt there just for Junhoe. With his free hand he undid the button on his own jeans and tugged the zipper down before grabbing Junhoe's hand and placing it on top of his undone pants. He didn't know if Junhoe would go for it right away, and he waited.  
  
Junhoe felt nervous as soon as Jinhwan grabbed his hand. He'd been expecting it, of course, but now that the moment was here he couldn't help but feel slightly burdened. He'd never held someone's bare dick in his own hands before, and for a moment he wasn't sure what he was even supposed to do with it.  
  
Until he remembered that Jinhwan's dick worked the same way his own dick worked, and he knew what he liked, so wouldn't Jinhwan like the same thing too, probably?  
  
Junhoe slid his hand under Jinhwan's underwear, nervous excitement gripping him as his fingers made first contact. He couldn't bring himself to look at Jinhwan, didn't want to see the look on his face. It was flat out _weird_ to touch another guy's dick. It felt the same but different.  
  
Jinhwan finally looked at the movie screen, shivering a little when he thought about what they were doing. It was kind of funny, actually, given the state of the theatre, but that just made it a little more exciting. Junhoe's touch was light at first, but Jinhwan didn't say anything, wanted to give him a minute or two to sort himself out. He squeezed Junhoe's dick tightly, and that seemed to remind Junhoe that he should probably do the same.  
  
As soon as Junhoe's fingers tightened, Jinhwan let out a moan that gave Junhoe a sudden shot of confidence. He was fine. He could do this—he knew exactly what to do. Had years of practice, after all.  
  
Neither of them seemed too quick to ramp anything up, though, their visual focus was back on the movie, even though their hands were constantly moving, squeezing and caressing in equal measures.  
  
It was exactly what Jinhwan had wanted, both of them giving each other pleasure. Junhoe's hand was especially nice, it was noticeably bigger than Jinhwan's, covered more of him. He was surprised when Junhoe's fingers moved to his balls instead, squeezing them tightly. Jinhwan moaned loudly at the action, wanted Junhoe to know that he liked it.  
  
Jinhwan's moan was like music to Junhoe's ears, it made him feel confident that he was doing a good job. He abandoned the movie then, turning his focus to Jinhwan. He watched his face for a bit, but then dropped his eyes down to where he could see his hand moving under Jinhwan's underwear, and despite the fact that it was _his_ hand, he still felt like he was watching someone else. Maybe it was because they were in public and he was still shocked that he was doing this, or maybe it was just because they were in a movie theatre. But it was hot and dangerous.  
  
Jinhwan wondered if Junhoe would try sucking his dick if he asked for it. He didn't need a full blow job, not yet, he was happy enough with the hand. But he wanted to see it. Wanted the visual to commit to memory.  
  
Maybe if he did it first he'd get a yes. Jinhwan grabbed Junhoe's hand, pulling it out of his pants. Junhoe looked at him in surprise, but Jinhwan just grinned at him.  
  
“I'm gonna suck your dick.”  
  
Before Junhoe could respond Jinhwan was crouched down in front of him and Junhoe's dick was in his mouth. Junhoe wanted to yell but he managed to keep a handle on himself, biting the inside of his cheek. He wasn't thinking about anyone finding them anymore, not at the moment with the heat of Jinhwan's mouth around him.  
  
Jinhwan had one hand around Junhoe's dick and one hand around his own, sucking hard. He wanted to make Junhoe scream, even though they were in a public place. Sure, it might not be the safe thing to do, but he wanted to hear it. With the lubrication of his saliva he was able to stroke Junhoe harder, faster, and it didn't take long for Junhoe's hand to find it's way into Jinhwan's hair. Junhoe twisted his fingers in the strands, pulled at it without meaning to.  
  
Jinhwan thought it was hot, loved it because clearly Junhoe was losing control of himself and it was all Jinhwan's doing. He pulled off of Junhoe at that moment, taking a bit of a breather until Junhoe finally looked at him.  
  
Jinhwan just grinned at him. “Come in my mouth.”  
  
The words hit Junhoe hard, and Jinhwan barely had him back between his lips before Junhoe was following his direction, groaning out loud as he came in a splash on Jinhwan's tongue, his knees shaking through the release. He flopped back into the chair, boneless and spent, his mind incapable of processing any of it.  
  
Jinhwan tucked Junhoe back into his underwear and did his pants back up before standing up and stretching out his legs and arms. Thankfully Junhoe hadn't taken long. He sat back down beside him, feeling smug, and when he looked at Junhoe and saw him with his head lolled back, eyes closed and smiling, Jinhwan was overcome with the strong urge to kiss him, and he leaned forward and reached for Junhoe's head.  
  
No. _Bad idea._ Kisses in moments like this were the sort of thing that led to emotions developing. He knew that too well from his own experience. It wouldn't be right for him to do it to Junhoe. He pulled his hand back before Junhoe could open his eyes, and instead he took a deep breath. No kissing post-orgasm. He'd make a rule of that for himself.  
  
Instead he just waited for Junhoe to open his eyes again, because he still wanted to ask for Junhoe to do it for him, if he'd be okay with it. If not Jinhwan was fine with Junhoe's hand again. But he really hoped he'd get the blowjob. Jinhwan waited patiently, hand still wrapped around his own dick, the salty aftertaste still on his tongue, and when Junhoe finally opened his eyes to look at him, Jinhwan smirked at him.  
  
“Did you enjoy that?”  
  
Junhoe nodded, but couldn't quite bring himself to speak his thanks out loud.  
  
“Good. Any chance you might do the same for me? You don't have to if you don't want to, but I kind of need something,” Jinhwan pointed down at his dick, which he had pulled out of his pants, “still really hard.”  
  
Junhoe swallowed nervously, tempted to just do it and see what it was all about. It felt amazing to get one, but could giving one possibly be enjoyable? Jinhwan didn't seem bothered to do it, though, had done it for him twice now without complaint.  
  
Fuck it. If Jinhwan could suck a dick, so could Junhoe.  
  
“Yeah, sure,” Junhoe replied, sitting up, “of course I will.” Seconds later, crouched down at Jinhwan's feet, he was starting to doubt himself just a little. Not about the actual act, no. It was just really uncomfortable, where they were. And his knees would probably hurt from being in this position if Jinhwan took long. He hoped his back wouldn't touch the seat in front of him.  
  
Jinhwan could see the war in Junhoe's eyes, clearly wanting to try, but at the same time being terribly afraid of doing it. Everyone's first time was probably like that, though. He'd tried to be excited his first time, but he'd almost psyched himself right back out of it. It was intimidating the first time, but he almost felt like a pro at it now. He could coach Junhoe through it easily enough.  
  
He grabbed a handful of Junhoe's hair and guided his head down. “One thing to remember is that it's not just about your mouth,” Jinhwan advised, “you have to use your hand too, just like you were before, really tight.”  
  
Junhoe nodded and focused his gaze on Jinhwan's dick. All he had to do was put it in his mouth. He'd be fine. Not a big deal. Plenty of people around the world did it. He could be one of them. He closed his eyes and went for it, fitting the tip inside his mouth and wrapping his hand around the base.  
  
It was weird. He wasn't sure if he was doing it right at first, but Jinhwan's hand wrapped in his hair and gently guided him up and down in a bobbing motion, and that made Junhoe remember to use his hand. As his mouth covered more of it the job became easier, and soon he had his hand jerking the length of it exactly the way he liked it himself, tight and fast, and he sucked at the head and tasted a bit of saltiness on his tongue from Jinhwan's pre-cum.  
  
Jinhwan was in heaven. _Finally_ he had something good, and he wasn't sure if Junhoe was a natural or if it had just been so long that he missed it to the point that even something below-average felt amazing. But he closed his eyes and leaned his head back into the seat, even lifted a foot up onto the seat in front of him. He wanted to buck up into Junhoe's mouth so bad, but he barely remembered that he was with a first-timer and not someone experienced. He didn't want to give Junhoe more than he could handle.  
  
Junhoe thought he was doing pretty decent, a few times he'd opened his eyes to see Jinhwan with his head back and eyes closed, and that was a good sign, right? Jinhwan's fingers were still wound in his hair, and Junhoe could hear his breathing, fast and shallow. After a few minutes Junhoe wondered if he ought to ask him if he was doing alright, because his legs were starting to get cramped, and his mouth was a little sore too.  
  
Jinhwan beat him to a question, though.  
  
“Can I come in your mouth?”  
  
Junhoe nodded instinctively, not realizing what he'd even agreed to at first. But Jinhwan had sat up, had put a hand on the back on Junhoe's head that held him in place as he bucked forward into Junhoe's mouth.  
  
Seconds later Junhoe almost gagged when he felt the hot splash hit his tongue. He hadn't really been ready for it, hadn't known what to expect despite having first hand knowledge of exactly what came out.  
  
It was saltier than he'd expected, and the texture was kind of gross. Somehow he managed to choke it down without coughing, but it didn't last long. As soon as he sat back in his seat the coughs came, and he couldn't help but wrinkle his face in disgust. He'd never been good at hiding his feelings.  
  
He was surprised to hear a giggle next to him, and he looked down to see Jinhwan's grinning face staring at him.  
  
“I'm sorry, I should have bought you a drink, or something...” Jinhwan couldn't stop laughing now that he'd started, and Junhoe felt a little confused by it.  
  
“It's okay,” Junhoe replied, and the longer Jinhwan kept giggling the more annoyed he felt. Was Jinhwan laughing at his performance? Had he been terrible? Junhoe couldn't help but feel paranoid, and he wondered momentarily if the whole damn thing was just a set up of some kind, something to embarrass him. It wasn't though and he knew it, but he always had a hard time handling things like this, unexpected behaviour that he didn't know the cause of.  
  
Jinhwan reached out and grabbed his hand, holding it tightly because he knew that he was probably making Junhoe uncomfortable, he could see it on his face, but that was exactly the problem—Junhoe's face. The expression on it when he'd swallowed was still etched in Jinhwan's sight, and he couldn't help but find it utterly hilarious. Junhoe couldn't fake enjoying something. Jinhwan had come to realize that already, but this was another good reminder.  
  
Jinhwan couldn't make himself stop, though, too relaxed and satisfied to help it. He tugged on Junhoe's arm and smiled at him, tried to stop giggling so he could talk. “Do you want a drink, or a snack or something? I know the taste isn't exactly wonderful, I'm sorry--” he had to look away momentarily, the glare on Junhoe's face was too much. “I'm not laughing at you, I promise! Well I kind of am, the look on your face was-” Jinhwan was overcome with giggles again, but he clung tightly to Junhoe's arm.  
  
Junhoe was still confused. What the fuck was Jinhwan going on about?  
  
“I'm sorry, I think I'm okay now,” Jinhwan sat up and took a deep breath, “I should have warned you about the taste. You don't have to lie and say you liked it, no one likes it their first time.”  
  
Was that really all Jinhwan was laughing about? Just the grimace of his face when he'd swallowed? “Yeah, it was pretty gross, actually.” No point in lying if Jinhwan was bringing it up, then.  
  
“You did really good, though! Like I'm honestly impressed,” Jinhwan said, and he realized he should have tried to say it sooner, because Junhoe's demeanour changed as soon as he heard it, “You were awesome, I didn't think I'd come that fast.”  
  
“Really?” Junhoe was surprised to hear it, but relieved. He'd done good then, so it was worth it.  
  
“Yeah! You probably did way better than me my first time. I kept forgetting to use my hand, but you did good with yours.”  
  
Junhoe couldn't help the smile that came out at the words. Jinhwan was _impressed_ with his first time. He'd done better than he'd expected, hadn't he? Way better. That was the sort of praise that made him want to do it again, made him want to keep doing it until he got so good that Jinhwan would beg him for it.  
  
He looked up at the screen and was surprised when he felt Jinhwan's head on his shoulder. He glanced down at him out of the corner of his eye, just able to make out Jinhwan's smile and closed eyes. He looked back up at the screen, happy but wary at the same time. Seeing Jinhwan all sated and pleased had him feeling weird, and Junhoe kind of wanted to kiss him, but he probably shouldn't. Might ruin the moment.  
  
They stayed there until the end of the movie, and Jinhwan never moved from his position, kept his head on Junhoe's shoulder the whole time. When the credits started rolling is when they finally both stood up, stretching a little.  
  
“So, tell me honestly, was it the grossest thing you've ever had in your mouth or not?” Jinhwan asked, latching on to his arm.

Junhoe looked down at him. “What, your dick?”  
  
Jinhwan grinned and hit his arm. “No! When I came.”  
  
Of course. Junhoe grinned back. “Ah, right. Well, honestly it was pretty gross, but it wasn't the worst thing I've ever had in my mouth.”  
  
“No?” Jinhwan responded in surprise. “What was the worst thing, then?”  
  
Junhoe stared him in the eyes when he answered. “Natto, hands down.” The answer made Jinhwan burst into laughter all over again, and Junhoe felt like he could happily live in exactly this little moment forever, he was feeling so good about himself. There was something about making someone laugh after impressing them and making them feel good that made him feel almost invincible. Maybe it was a little dorky. He'd keep the thought to himself.  
  
Jinhwan knew that they ought to just leave the room before he tempted himself to do anything more, especially before an employee came in to clean (though that might not happen given the state of the place) but he couldn't help himself. He wanted a kiss. Just one, before they went out into the public again and he made himself keep more distance.  
  
He reached out to grab Junhoe's face, cupping his cheeks as he pulled his head down. He pressed his lips to Junhoe's, happy when Junhoe kissed him back forcefully. The kiss lasted way longer than it should have, but Jinhwan didn't feel like cutting it short. Whatever. It was only one kiss.  
  
Nothing would happen over one kiss.


	28. Overthinking

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Double B date night! ♥

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just wanted to make a quick recommendation in case you're ever wondering about some of the music I listen to when I'm writing this story! I've recently discovered a new "theme song" for Double B in this fic, and I would recommend listening to it while reading the chapter.
> 
> [Boy by OFFONOFF](https://youtu.be/y0v2FGtUnsA?t=14m42s) \- I'd even go so far as to recommend the entire album. Perfect vibe for them, but that track in particular is 100% them. :)

“So, where exactly are you guys eating that you need to get so dressed up for?”  
  
“I actually have no idea, he wouldn't tell me.” Bobby felt fidgety in the front seat of his brother's car, nervous about the dinner despite having been excited when he'd left home. All Hanbin had told him was that they were going somewhere _really nice_ so he wanted Bobby to dress up. Not suit and tie dressed up, but dress pants and a nice shirt, at the very least.  
  
Bobby hated dressing up, though, avoided it when possible. Jiun wasn't a big fan of dressing up either, and he'd spent more time teasing Bobby than helping. Thankfully Jinhwan had come to his rescue, though, picking his outfit and helping him get properly ready. He'd even fixed his hair nicely and sprayed him with some fancy cologne that Bobby hoped Hanbin would like.  
  
“I can't even remember the last time I got dressed up for a dinner,” Jiun said, “it's been a long time.”  
  
“What, you haven't taken Jeeyoung anywhere nice?” Bobby teasingly chastised, grinning when Jiun shook his head.  
  
“No, but thankfully she doesn't really like doing the fancy thing either. She'd rather just go to some cheap corner place where we can wear jeans.”  
  
That was Bobby's preference too, but Hanbin wanted to do fancy, and well—Hanbin was paying. So Bobby wasn't about to turn down the invitation. “All I know is that it's close to his place, because we're walking. But his dad made reservations for us, so I think it's going to be way fancier than I've ever been to.”  
  
Jiun grinned and patted his knee. “Good luck. Call me if you knock over something expensive and need to make a quick getaway.”  
  
Bobby swatted Jiun's hand away. “Hyung, don't say that! If anything happens it's your fault.” When they were less than a minute away Bobby texted Hanbin to let him know, and Hanbin told him to come up to their apartment. Jiun let him out at the front door and waved goodbye, yelling a last note of good luck before driving away.  
  
Bobby was buzzed in and took the elevator up to the 10 th floor, looking himself over inside the mirrored elevator. He looked good. Of course his nerves were telling him otherwise, telling him that he was clearly dressing up in somebody else's clothes, that everyone would look at him tonight and know that this wasn't who he is.  
  
It was just stupid insecurity. So what if he wasn't used to dressing up? A lot of people weren't. His parents never dressed up to go anywhere. Hanbin's family was just different, his parents were much younger than Bobby's parents, they were attractive and trendy. And rich.  
  
Bobby frowned at himself in the mirror. It didn't matter. Hanbin liked him, and Hanbin's parents liked him too (or at least he thought they did). He couldn't let his own insecurities get the better of him tonight. They were going to a fancy barbeque place and he was going to eat his fill of expensive high quality steak. Why the fuck was he worried about anyone looking at him?  
  
The elevator doors opened and Bobby stepped out onto Hanbin's floor. Hanbin's family lived in a new building, much nicer than where Bobby lived. The building had floor to ceiling windows and everything in it looked fancy.  
  
Bobby could do fancy when he had to.  
  
He knocked on the door and was greeted by Hanbin's mother, who ushered him inside with a warm smile.  
  
“Ah, hello Jiwon! You look very handsome tonight.”  
  
Bobby couldn't help but blush. Hanbin's mom was always so sweet to him. “Thank you, Mrs Kim.”  
  
“Hanbin's just finishing getting ready, so come in.” He followed her into the living room, where Hanbyul was colouring at the table. She stared at him for a moment before shyly waving to him. Bobby smiled and waved back to her.  
  
“Hanbyul, come and greet Bobby oppa properly.” Hanbyul slowly slid down from the chair following her mother's chastisement, slowly walking over to him. Bobby was always surprised every time he looked at her—she had the exact same eyes as Hanbin.  
  
“Hello, Bobby oppa.” Hanbyul's greeting was quiet and shy, and Bobby crouched down at her level.  
  
“Hello, Byul-ah! You look very pretty today.” She smiled at his compliment and Bobby grinned when he heard her mother laugh quietly. “What were you colouring?”  
  
Hanbyul's eyes lit up a bit when he asked her. “Princesses! Do you want to see?”  
  
“Okay, show me!” Bobby stood up and followed her over to the table, where she was quick to hop back up on her chair and proudly display the picture she'd been working on. Bobby tried not to laugh, because it was cute. Her princess had blue skin and pink hair.  
  
“She's pretty, isn't she?” Hanbyul asked, her finger tracing over the pink hair.  
  
“She's very pretty. I like her hair, it's a very nice shade of pink.” Hanbyul smiled at the compliment, and Bobby was relieved that she was talking to him. He remembered how shy she'd been at first, so he felt good that she was opening up to him now.  
  
“I wish I could have pink hair.” Hanbyul said, and she sighed so forlornly Bobby found it hard not to laugh. But then his eyes fell on the page next to the one Hanbyul had been working on, and even though the colours were still wild (light green skin and emerald hair) the colouring was much better.  
  
“The green princess is very pretty too.”  
  
Hanbyul touched her hair at the mention. “Hanbin-ie oppa coloured her for me! She's a princess that turns into a frog at night.”  
  
Bobby had to pinch his arm to keep from laughing. “Oh wow, he did a good job with her.”  
  
Hanbyul nodded. “My princess is a pretty fish, they live in the same pond.”  
  
Bobby was saved by the reappearance of Hanbyul's mother. “You draw, don't you Jiwon? Hanbin mentioned it once.”  
  
Bobby looked at her, grateful for the interruption, because he'd been a split second away from laughing at the idea of the frog and fish princesses. “Yeah, I do. My dad is a painter, so I think I got my skill from him.”  
  
“Can you draw me a princess?” Hanbyul asked, pleading eyes on him.  
  
“Uh, I don't usually draw princesses, but I guess I can try.”  
  
“He can draw you some the next time he comes over, he has to go out soon, okay?” Hanbyul looked like she wanted to protest, engaging in a three seconds long staring contest with her mother before finally giving up.  
  
“Okay, but, you have to promise you'll draw me one next time!” Hanbyul stared up at him and Bobby smiled back at her, promising to do just that. They left Hanbyul to her colouring book and Bobby followed Hanbin's mother to the kitchen.  
  
“I'll make sure Hanbin reminds you to draw her something the next time you visit.” she said to him before offering him a drink. Bobby grinned and took it, feeling at ease. They were barely alone for a minute before Hanbin joined them, and Bobby just barely managed to catch himself before blurting out what would have likely earned him a slap to the back of the head from Hanbin's mom. Some compliments were not meant to given in front of family, and describing Hanbin as _really fucking hot_ probably wouldn't go over well, especially not with Hanbyul within hearing range.  
  
Hanbin's hair was slicked back again, the sleeves of his button up rolled up to his elbows. Bobby couldn't help but think that the look suited him, that he looked natural in the clothing, and he licked his lips just looking at him. He wasn't all that hungry for dinner anymore at the moment.  
  
Hanbin greeted him with a hug and a quick kiss that startled Bobby back to himself, and he blushed just a little because he was very aware of Hanbin's mother watching them. Did she notice him staring hungrily at her son? Bobby hoped she'd missed it.  
  
Whether she did or not she just sighed happily. “Ah look at the two of you, both so handsome!”  
  
Hanbin turned back to her, keeping one arm around Bobby's waist. “Can you take a picture for me?” He asked, holding his phone out to her. She took it and snapped one, asked Bobby if he wanted one too. He was surprised by the offer and agreed without really thinking about it, pulling his phone out and unlocking it before handing it to her.  
  
She snapped a picture but stared at his screen for a moment before handing the phone back. Bobby accepted it while avoiding her eyes. His photo gallery was full of pictures of Hanbin, and while nothing was really even that suggestive, some of them weren't exactly pictures he'd want his mother seeing (especially not the ones of Hanbin shirtless and just out of the shower).  
  
But she didn't say anything, didn't even seem bothered. It was a different reaction than what Bobby would have expected. Had it been his own mom, seeing Hanbin's phone full of pictures of him, she probably would have bristled a little, would have likely dragged Bobby off somewhere to warn him that they'd _be talking_ when he got back.  
  
But Hanbin's mom just pinched her son's cheek and said that she was proud of him, and Hanbin rolled his eyes and said that going on a date was hardly something to be proud of. It was a cute bout of mother-son bickering, and Bobby marvelled at how they spoke to each other.  
  
It was almost like they were friends? Hanbin obviously respected his parents and loved them, but Bobby had noticed that their tones were always very casual when they spoke to each other. Maybe it was an age thing. Bobby's parents were both about a decade older than Hanbin's, after all. Difference in parenting style, perhaps.  
  
They were joined then by Hanbin's dad, who greeted Bobby warmly before handing Hanbin his credit card.  
  
“I booked your reservation under your own name. Shinyoung is working tonight though so she'll know you. Give her my thanks, will you?”  
  
Hanbin rolled his eyes again before pocketing the card. “Is that all? Want me to give her your love, too?” His tone was teasing and he grinned at his dad.  
  
“Ah, you're lucky your hair is done otherwise I might smack you for that.” His dad teased back.  
  
“It would be worth it,” Hanbin replied, giving his dad a quick hug, “just kidding though, of course I'll thank her. I appreciate you booking this us, thanks.”  
  
“Ah, it's nothing, I'm glad to set you up.” He turned his attention to Bobby then, a smile on his face. “I told Hanbin this already, but I'll tell you as well. Just order whatever you want, don't worry about the cost. Good food is worthy of the money you spend on it, and you won yourself a nice dinner fair and square.”  
  
Bobby bowed back to him, taken aback after watching them together. “Thank you, I appreciate this as well.” They moved to the front door then, where Hanbin put on his shoes, and even Hanbyul came over to see them off.  
  
Bobby smiled, watching her with Hanbin. He was adorable with his little sister. It was the sort of thing that Bobby usually wouldn't have cared about, but it tugged at his heartstrings now.  
  
“Give me ten kisses, Byul-ah, in case something happens and I don't come home after dinner.” Hanbin teased, which elicited a whine from Hanbyul and an exasperated sigh from his mother.  
  
“Bin-ah, don't tease her like that!” She reprimanded, but Hanbin just laughed and peppered his sister's face with kisses.  
  
“Of course I'll come home, you know I'm joking. I still want ten, though!” Hanbyul followed his request, but after the sixth kiss she got her numbers confused.  
  
“Eight doesn't come after six, you're missing a number.” Hanbin said, patiently helping her figure it out. Bobby just leaned against the wall and watched, smiling fondly. Hanbin celebrated her making it to ten, telling her how smart she was before standing up and telling her that he had to go.  
  
“You're coming back after, right?” She asked him, and he nodded. “Is Bobby oppa coming back too?”  
  
Hanbin looked at Bobby for a second before answering her. “He's not coming back tonight, and even if he did you would be sleeping.”  
  
“But, is he going to come over tomorrow?” Hanbyul asked in a whisper, too shy to look at Bobby.  
  
Hanbin glanced at Bobby again, perplexed as to why Hanbyul was asking. “I don't think he is, why do you want him to come over so bad?” He was pleased that she was asking, whatever her reason was.  
  
“I like him.” She whispered again, and Hanbin wanted to laugh at her response.  
  
“That's good, I like him too. I'll make sure he comes over soon, okay?” She nodded and ran back to the table, leaving the four of them to laugh quietly at her. Hanbin and Bobby left then, Bobby's spirits high after watching Hanbin with his family. It was a different dynamic than he had with his own, and he could see where Hanbin's strong sense of confidence came from.  
  
He didn't have long to contemplate it before Hanbin shoved him against the mirrored wall of the elevator, hands on his face and tongue prying its way inside his mouth. Bobby was caught off guard by the sudden aggressive kiss, but he welcomed it with gusto, hands on Hanbin's waist in a tight grip. The kiss lasted all the way down to the lobby, where Hanbin barely pulled them apart before the door opened.  
  
He led Bobby outside with a sheepish smile. “Sorry about that,” he started, “you just look really hot and I couldn't help myself.”  
  
Was it lame that the compliment made him feel like he was on top of the world? “Ah, don't apologize! You look really hot too, I was dying in your apartment, I wanted to do that myself.”  
  
“Hey speaking of that, what happened with you and Byul?” Hanbin questioned, curious if they'd had some kind of interaction he hadn't seen.  
  
“Ah, that!” Bobby grinned. “She showed me her princess colouring book, and your mom told her that I draw. So I promised I'd draw her a princess the next time I was over.”  
  
Hanbin thought it was cute, the idea of Bobby indulging his sister like that. “That's very sweet of you,” Hanbin teased him, “can you even draw a princess? I thought you just did landscapes like your dad?”  
  
“Yeah well, kinda hard to explain that in the moment,” Bobby replied, “but it shouldn't be that tough. I'll just have to practice first.”  
  
“Mm, let me see your practice sketches when you do them.” Hanbin wondered what kind of princess Bobby would even end up drawing.  
  
“I will, but speaking of princesses, she showed me your frog princess.”  
  
Hanbin grinned at the thought of Hanbyul discussing their pond princess project. “Ah, yeah, I figure if I'm going to spend time doing things that she wants to do, I have to make them a little more interesting for me, you know? I'm not really a fan of colouring, and I don't really care for princesses, so I had to make it fun.”  
  
“Oh did you come up with the shape shifting pond theme?” Bobby asked, laughing at the thought of Hanbin coming up with it on the spot to alleviate the boredom.  
  
“Sure did!” Hanbin answered. “Hanbyul used to colour her princesses all the same, black hair, but then when I said I wanted to make a green one, she was scandalized. Until I told her that the princess was really a frog. Honestly I was just teasing her at first, but then she looked at all the crayons she had and decided that she wanted to make the frog princess a friend. I told her she should make a pretty fish princess, and then from there we just went along with it. Gave them names and created their whole kingdom.”  
  
“That's adorable, Bin,” Bobby replied, “really sweet of you too. You're so good to your sister.”  
  
“She's a cute kid, it's easy to be good to her. I'm happy she's finally coming out of her shell around you though. Of course that might be more of a curse than a blessing, because she doesn't shut up sometimes.”  
  
“I'll take it!” Bobby replied, “better that then being ignored.” The walk to their destination was short and pleasant, still warm for October. Bobby had no idea where they were going, but he hadn't asked, and when they finally arrived he couldn't do anything but stare in shock.  
  
Bobby was used to going to small places, one-level restaurants sandwiched in between other businesses, nothing fancy or special about them. But this place, _Bamboo House,_ was a three level building all on it's own. If Hanbin hadn't brought him here he wouldn't have even realized that it was a restaurant.  
  
Hanbin pulled him along to the building, and Bobby could feel his nerves creeping back up again. They climbed the stairs up to the second level before entering, and the inside was every bit as impressive as the outside.  
  
But it felt very corporate to Bobby. He imagined it was the sort of place that you took business partners for dinner, not your family. But hadn't Hanbin's dad mentioned someone by name who would know Hanbin? Is this the sort of place that Hanbin's family went together?  
  
“Hanbin-ah, right on time.” A very pretty young woman came to greet them, and Bobby watched as Hanbin greeted her.  
  
“Hello Shinyoung noona, it's nice to see you.”  
  
“And this must be the young man your father mentioned,” the hostess turned to Bobby, polite smile on her face as she looked him over. Bobby bowed to her, a little clumsy in his surprise, and he hoped he wasn't blushing.  
  
“This is Bobby, my boyfriend.” Hanbin made the introduction, and it made Bobby feel a little weird.  
  
“Welcome to Bamboo House, Bobby!” Shinyoung greeted. “If you'll follow me upstairs, I have a table for you in Sky Bamboo, our rooftop garden area.” She led the way and they followed. Bobby was shocked at the look of it all, and Jiun's teasing words of earlier came back to him now. This place was expensive, and Bobby felt like a kid wandering around an antique store, his mom scolding him to not touch anything.  
  
Shinyoung led them to a table along the edge, leaving a single page menu with them before taking their drink orders. Bobby was still a little in shock, and he couldn't even focus on the menu. His eyes darted around the patio, scoping out the other people here. There were couples and groups, even a family on the other side. Bobby still felt nervous, though, and he was trying to fight the clenching of his stomach.  
  
“So, what do you think?” Hanbin asked, bright smile as he looked around. “I love this place, it's actually my favourite restaurant in the city, but it's really expensive so I didn't think dad would actually let me bring you here.”  
  
Bobby looked back at Hanbin and tried to focus on his face. “It's amazing, Bin. I've honestly never been somewhere even half as nice as this before.”  
  
Hanbin smiled and looked pleased with himself. “Oh, good! I've actually come here a lot with dad, this is his go-to place for bringing business clients. He's friends with the guy who owns it, so we have special nights here too sometimes. We had mom's 36 th birthday here two years ago, had the whole patio for her party.”  
  
“Your mom's only 38?” Bobby had known Hanbin's parents were young, but that was younger than he'd expected. His own mom had just turned 51 this year.  
  
Hanbin grinned at the question. “Yeah, they were young when they had me. I was a scandalous baby,” Hanbin explained with a mischievous look, “they weren't married when they had me, didn't get married until five years later.”  
  
“Don't tell my mom.” Bobby replied with a laugh.  
  
“They had a western-style wedding, too. I think mom got influenced after we lived in the US for a few years.” Hanbin explained, and Bobby was once again reminded by the differences between their families. He hoped it wouldn't cause any problems.  
  
“Let's talk about the food,” Hanbin said, and Bobby was happy to get his mind off of their family differences, “you don't like seafood, right? That's a shame, cause the abalone they have as an appetizer is amazing. Are you allergic or do you just not like it?”  
  
Bobby looked down at his menu. “Not a fan of seafood in general, don't really like the taste.”  
  
“You're gonna try this, though! It doesn't have that usual seafood taste, you might like it.”  
  
Bobby looked back up at Hanbin, frowning at him. “I don't like the texture of seafood either, so I wouldn't hold your breath.”  
  
Hanbin just grinned back, though. “We'll see. Don't pretend you hate it even if you do like it! Do you like mushrooms? Cause the mushroom appetizer is really good too.”  
  
Seafood and mushrooms, two things Bobby wasn't a fan of. “Not really a big fan of mushrooms, honestly.”  
  
“Avocado? The roll is good too, it's different than other places. The seaweed wrap has a nice crunchy texture to it, really changes the whole thing.”  
  
Bobby nodded, deciding on that (even though he wasn't crazy about avocado either). He just liked meat. Hanbin, on the other hand, seemed to have a wider palette. Bobby suddenly felt a little insecure about it and he quickly studied the menu. What if everything here was fancy? What if nothing sounded appetizing? He didn't want to seem like a kid with picky eating habits.  
  
“Do you want to do barbeque for the main? They do really good jjigae too, if you want that instead.” Hanbin started listing off the various main dishes on the menu and Bobby felt unsure about what he ought to do.  
  
He really just wanted barbeque. But they could get barbeque anywhere, for cheaper. Should he get something unexpected? Was it a waste if he didn't try and expand his tastes? Would Hanbin think he was lame if he just stuck to meat?  
  
“Why don't you just decide? I mean you've been here, you know what's good.”  
  
“It's all good, that's the problem.” Hanbin grinned but kept his eyes on the menu, failing to notice that Bobby seemed uncomfortable.  
  
He knew he was being stupid. Why was he self-conscious about eating at a restaurant? So what if he wasn't used to fancy menu options. Hanbin wasn't dating him because he was some cultured rich guy, after all. Hanbin was the cultured rich guy, and Bobby was just a regular guy. Who'd managed to snag himself a boyfriend who was clearly a little out of his league.  
  
The waitress was back with their drinks. “Have you decided what you'd like?”  
  
Hanbin looked at her and smiled before looking at Bobby. “What do you think, hyung? Any preferences?”  
  
Bobby looked at Hanbin, a forced smile on his face, before looking at the waitress. There must have been some plea for help in his eyes, because she winked at him. “Why don't I get the chef to do up a tasting platter for you? We can do a little bit of everything, and if there's something you prefer, he can do up more of that?”  
  
“Yeah, that sounds great.” Bobby thought it was a good compromise. He could have what he wanted, but he could try some different things too. He looked at Hanbin and felt suddenly bold. “Could we get the abalone to start? And the pine mushrooms?”  
  
“Certainly,” she replied with a smile, “the abalone will be seared, if that's alright? Usually our chef grills it, but he's started a new technique recently that's quite popular.”  
  
Seared versus grilled meant nothing to Bobby, but Hanbin's eyes lit up, so Bobby nodded that the searing method was fine. She took their menus and went on her way, and Bobby felt a little better about things now. He'd just ordered dinner for them himself. It was an oddly impressive feeling.  
  
“Had a change of heart about the appetizers?” Hanbin asked.  
  
Bobby grinned at him and reached out to grab his hand. “I might not usually like seafood, but it's probably prepared differently here than the places I usually go, so I might like it.”  
  
“That's true, actually, a lot of stuff here is prepared with a western kind of taste, since a lot of international business dinners happen here. So it's not the typical Korean way, which probably will make you like it more.” Hanbin squeezed his hand and looked so genuinely _pleased_ that it made Bobby's heart flutter.  
  
It was just food, but it felt like so much more. “Does your dad bring international clients here?”  
  
“He does. He's actually brought me to a few business meetings, I was so nervous the first time. I was only ten, and he was meeting with an American who was going to buy into the company. The other guy was bringing his son too, he was two years older than me. I was so nervous all day, honestly I felt like throwing up.” Hanbin started the story, and Bobby listened with great interest, surprised that Hanbin's dad brought him to business dinners. “It's interesting to think about it now, but that whole day dad acted normal, like he expected it all to go well. You know, not once did he ever lecture me about how important it was? He didn't tell me to behave, or be polite, or anything. It's like he just expected me to know that I was supposed to be good.”  
  
“And were you?” Bobby found it interesting too. Every single time he'd ever gone anywhere with his parents, even to visit family, the visits had always been preceded with at least a ten minute lecture on behaving and acting politely. Looking back on it now, it was almost like his mother had expected him to act up. Not that he ever had, because the lectures had done their job and frightened him into behaving.  
  
“Oh, _I_ behaved well. The other kid, though? He clearly didn't want to be there, and he complained about the food and kept being annoying. You could tell his dad was angry, at the end of the night he apologized for his son, and told my dad that he'd done a good job raising me. Couldn't believe I'd been so well-behaved all night, and had even contributed to the conversation. It made me feel amazing, hearing this old American business man compliment me.” Hanbin still treasured the memory. He'd felt like _an adult_ that night, despite being a kid.  
  
“Wow, that's actually really cool that your dad did that.” It was cool, but it was also very intimidating. No wonder Hanbin did well around adults. “My parents never let me and my brother hang around when they were with their friends. Even when we went to church, the kids were always separated from the adults.” Bobby had never even thought about it before, but it had probably contributed to his nerves around adults. His parents had never given him the opportunity to prove that he could be trusted to participate in mature situations, while Hanbin's dad had given him every opportunity to prove himself.  
  
“Yeah, it's funny, because after that he would occasionally bring me to company dinners with his partners. He and mom decided it was good experience for me, since I did so well the first time. When they had Hanbyul mom stopped coming, but dad would still bring me every now and then. After a while they even used to let me order for the table, it used to make me feel so important.” Hanbin grinned when he thought back to it. His dad's business partners really liked him, and the amount of times he'd heard compliments that they wished their sons were like him had done a lot for his sense of self. “The VP even started teaching me about wine pairings during meals,” he explained with a laugh, “told my dad it was important business knowledge to learn that school wouldn't teach me.”  
  
Bobby was shocked to hear it all. He'd spent his early teenage years playing basketball and rapping and trying to get out of spending time with his parents, meanwhile Hanbin had been sitting in on business dinners, learning about wine and international business relations.  
  
No wonder he felt intimidated by him at times. Hanbin had grown up being treated like an adult, while Bobby's own parents still treated him with kid gloves. Even something as simple as ordering food—Bobby's mom still rarely let him order what he wanted when they went out for family dinners, always chiming in with some comment about his choices. He'd never really thought much about it, but she really did baby him.  
  
“It's great, but then at the same time it's kind of stressful, because I keep thinking about what I want to do with my life. I know most people would expect me to go into business, especially since dad's company is doing really good, and I have all of this experience around his colleagues. I think I'd enjoy it, but at the same time I don't know if I'm really passionate about it.”  
  
Bobby nodded, though he was having a bit of an internal struggle. He did _not_ want to have the future conversation, not after what he'd just heard. Bobby didn't have any idea what he wanted to do. His family believed firmly that you should follow your passions, that you'd be happier passionately working and poor than you would be if you were rich but working a job you hated.  
  
“I know I'd make great money working with dad, and I'd like it. But I've always wanted to work in a history-related field, or something science-related. I've been taking courses with everything in mind, because I still haven't figured it out. The worst part though is that dad doesn't even pressure me at all to follow him into business. I mean it's nice, but how are you supposed to decide what you really want to do on your own? I know the business thing is a safe choice, but it's not like I'll be poor if I work in the science industry, you know? History would probably be the biggest gamble, but it's my biggest passion out of the three.”  
  
Bobby listened intently to what Hanbin was saying, because it was important information. Everything was great between them right now, but would it always be great? Did Hanbin expect him to have some long-term life plan laid out, and how disappointed would he be to find out that he didn't? Hanbin had three solid plans, three possibilities that were real and tangible. All Bobby had were pipe dreams that might not ever come to fruition, but unlike Hanbin he didn't have the security of rich parents to fall back on.  
  
“What are you thinking of doing when you graduate?”  
  
The dreaded question, and Bobby wished Hanbin hadn't just asked it. What was he supposed to say? It was fine to talk about music or basketball to his family, because they appreciated the passion behind his dreams. Would Hanbin think the same way, though?  
  
“Uh, to be honest I'm not set on anything. I'm taking a year off before university, work a little and save some money up, you know.” That much was true, at least, and it's not like he could be ridiculed for money concerns.  
  
“That's smart, get some real world experience that might help you figure out what you want.” Hanbin accepted his answer and Bobby felt relieved that he wasn't digging harder. Hanbin did have another year left of high school, after all, maybe Bobby would really use that time as a buffer to figure himself out so Hanbin didn't just prosper and leave him behind. Whatever path Hanbin decided to follow, Bobby had a feeling he'd do it perfectly. He'd be like his dad—a stable and profitable career to provide an upscale life for himself.  
  
If Bobby couldn't figure himself out, would he even have a hope of being part of that life?  
  
Thankfully the conversation was interrupted by the arrival of their appetizers, and Bobby shoved thoughts of futures and careers firmly into the furthest recesses of his mind. He looked down at the abalone and the mushrooms and felt queasy, like his stomach was full of roiling acid and anything he ate would just come back up.  
  
It was all because of his stupid insecurity. He could easily blame it on the seafood if it came to that, because he can't back out of trying the stuff now, not when he was so confident in taking a chance earlier. How was he supposed to attempt it, though? Maybe he ought to take a quick trip to the bathroom first, look himself in the mirror and talk himself into it.  
  
Before he had a chance to do that Hanbin came to the rescue in an unexpected way.  
  
“Do you want to pray before we eat?”  
  
Bobby was surprised and touched by the question. Hanbin didn't pray before eating, and while Bobby usually did and Hanbin knew that he did, it wasn't something they'd ever discussed before, and praying before eating wasn't even something Bobby made a big deal out of. It was just a few quick seconds of closing his eyes and being grateful.  
  
But Hanbin waited for Bobby's answer, and Bobby smiled back at him before nodding. “I was going to anyway, but did you want to join me?”  
  
Hanbin nodded, his smile turning a little shy. “We don't pray before meals, my family, but I know it's important to you, so I thought it should be important tonight.”  
  
Bobby reached out and took his hand, squeezing it tightly. Sometimes the little things became huge things, and the offer made Bobby feel like he and Hanbin weren't nearly as mismatched as his insecurities told him they were. A lot of people found partners that had noticeable differences in personality. What mattered was how well those differences complimented one another.  
  
So they both closed their eyes and bowed their heads, and Bobby wasn't sure what Hanbin was thinking for his own prayer, didn't know if he was praying to the same God that Bobby prayed to, but it didn't really matter. Bobby gave his usual prayer of thanks, but he took a couple of seconds more to pray for guidance on how to navigate the whole issue of his future, because he couldn't screw things up with Hanbin. They were young, and it was still early in their relationship, but Bobby had never felt so strongly about anyone before. It was an amazing feeling when it was good, and it was crushing when his thoughts were dominated with insecurity. He wanted to feel secure all the time. That's what he needed help with.  
  
After they finished Bobby found that his nerves were steel again, and the queasiness was gone. Hanbin was busy cutting him a piece of the abalone and Bobby watched him, saw how excited Hanbin was to share it, and Bobby realized that they both had different things to share. Hanbin had indulged Bobby in his pre-meal ritual, and he was indulging Hanbin in his love of weird foods.  
  
But they had enough in common (like barbequed meat, and basketball, and rap) to make trying different things together okay. There was enough to fall back on if the weird stuff didn't work out.  
  
Hanbin hand-fed him the abalone, and Bobby was surprised to find that it did taste different here, and he actually liked it. The mushrooms weren't really to his liking, but he still tried them and the trying is what made Hanbin the happiest. It was worth it just for that.  


* * *

  
It was two hours later when they finally left (after rounds of barbequed steak that nearly made Bobby cry at how amazing it had been, coupled with noodles and kimchi stew that was unlike anything he'd ever had before) and Bobby practically floated down the stairs despite having a full stomach. They held hands as they left the restaurant and Bobby still had no idea where they were or how to get home, but he didn't care.  
  
Hanbin led them to a nearby park that was blissfully empty and pulled Bobby over towards the pirate ship play structure, climbing up to the top where they were hidden half from view. Bobby felt giddy as he followed him up, wondering if Hanbin had picked this spot for any particular reason.  
  
Hanbin sat down and pulled Bobby closer to him, cupping his face in one hand before kissing him. Bobby kissed back and laid a hand on Hanbin's leg, surprised when Hanbin moved Bobby's hand higher up his thigh.  
  
Bobby didn't say anything, didn't want to push Hanbin beyond whatever it was he felt comfortable doing right now. Even if this was it, kissing and a bit of groping, Bobby would be okay with it. How could he not be after the dinner they'd just had?  
  
Hanbin's mind was spinning. Dinner had been amazing—the food was perfect as always, but being there with Bobby had his brain filling with all kinds of thoughts that he wasn't sure were appropriate for him to be having at this stage in the relationship. He couldn't help it though. It was more than just a casual dinner at some cheap place with their friends.  
  
Were they moving too fast? Wasn't it a little unusual for them to know each other's families so well too? Hanbin wasn't complaining, of course. He liked Bobby—a lot. He couldn't help but think about future dinners with Bobby, anniversaries and celebrations. Bobby was graduating from high school in the spring, and Hanbin would be graduating next year. Would they still be together then? Hanbin hoped so, he thought about the possibility of he and Bobby going to university together, maybe taking a class or two together if they could.  
  
Junhoe would laugh at him if he could hear the thoughts, romantic plans for making their futures gel together. Bobby made him feel things, though, and sure Hanbin was aware that it might not always feel like this, that maybe it was all so good because it was new. But it was strong.  
  
He wondered if he should just bring it up and talk about it, how he felt. He was sure Bobby felt the same way, there was that certain gleam in his eyes that wasn't easy to mask. They'd barely been together for a month, though. Maybe it was still too early to say anything. Maybe he should just wait, maybe he'd ask his parents for advice: how early was too early to tell someone you were _in love_ with them? Of course it was obvious to anyone looking. But there was a power in words, and sometimes even good words had unexpectedly bad effects.  
  
Maybe he was reading Bobby wrong, after all, seeing what he so desperately wanted to see instead of what was really there? Maybe this was just a fun thing for Bobby while he finished high school. Maybe he wasn't as serious as Hanbin wanted to think he was.  
  
But church with his family... That had been a huge deal, hadn't it? You don't invite someone to church with your family unless you're serious about them.  
  
Maybe he was just over thinking things in the moment. It was a conversation best left to a new day. Right now he just wanted to distract himself so he didn't inadvertently bring it all up anyway.  
  
He tried not to think about the fact that they were in the middle of a public park (even though there was no one around to see them) because there was nowhere else to do this. Well, there was one place, but tonight wasn't the best night to bring Bobby there. It wasn't really easy to get to when it was dark out, and he still had to steel himself to go back there anyway.  
  
No, for now this was the best he could think of. They were hidden from view mostly, at least.  
  
_Too much thinking, just kiss your boyfriend!_ Hanbin berated himself mentally for overthinking the situation before kissing Bobby. Bobby's hand was on his thigh, a respectful distance away from anywhere dangerous. It was unusual for Bobby, who'd usually take any opportunity he could to get his hand down Hanbin's pants.  
  
_It's a sign, dummy, if this was just for fun, he'd be trying to bang you right now..._ Hanbin wasn't sure why he couldn't stop overthinking things, but his brain wouldn't quit. He ignored his own thoughts, trying to concentrate solely on Bobby. Maybe it would be okay if they did something a bit more tonight? Maybe _he_ ought to do something. So far Bobby had been the one doing all the action in their few times messing around, and while Bobby hadn't asked him for anything yet, Hanbin felt like he ought to give him something.  
  
Just so Bobby was sure that he _wanted_ to.  
  
Which was stupid because _of course_ Bobby knew that he wanted to do more. Bobby wasn't Woosung, after all. Hanbin needed to stop comparing them, because the relationship was already so much better for him. Bobby wasn't the insecure bundle of jealousy that Woosung had been. Their feelings were healthier and more secure. Hanbin didn't need to prove anything.  
  
Still. He did _want_ to do more anyway.  
  
He moved his hand on top of Bobby's, pulling his hand higher up on his thigh until he settled it over his crotch, like he was giving him permission to go for it. Bobby squeezed him and Hanbin slid his other hand around the back of Bobby's neck.  
  
Sexuality was kind of a weird thing for him, because it seemed like his behaviour and desires didn't always match his personality. In every day life, Hanbin was very much a strong, independent person, who never hesitated to take control of any situation he found himself in. He didn't _need_ anyone's help, for anything. He'd even go so far as to say that accepting help sometimes made him feel a little uncomfortable.  
  
But with Bobby, for some reason, Hanbin just wanted to lay back and let Bobby do whatever he wanted. He wasn't sure if it was because he didn't know what he was doing (he was pretty sure it was _precisely_ because he didn't know what he was doing, but he didn't like admitting that to himself) but he liked the thought of leaving everything in Bobby's hands. He felt confident in Bobby's ability to do the right thing, to make him feel as good as possible.  
  
He trusted Bobby, and after dating someone that he hadn't trusted, it was a pretty big deal to him now.  
  
Bobby's fingers had made quick work of his belt, button, and zipper, and Hanbin moaned into Bobby's mouth when he felt fingers wrap around his dick. Hanbin loved Bobby's fingers, loved how different they felt from his own. His fingers were slender in comparison to Bobby's, his hand smaller. Bobby knew exactly how to touch him, had somehow managed to figure it out without Hanbin having to say anything.  
  
Would he be as good at figuring out Bobby?  
  
“Can I blow you?”  
  
Bobby's breath tickled his ear, and the words sent shivers down his spine. This is what he loved that was so foreign to him. Doing nothing and letting Bobby take care of him. It was a little scary to accept it, it felt like it went against everything in his personality.  
  
“If you don't want to, that's okay, I can just use my hand. I don't want you to worry too much about someone finding us.”  
  
Hanbin smiled at the words, desperately trying not to overthink them, but there it was again. If Bobby didn't _love_ him, he wouldn't bother saying anything, he wouldn't even ask—he'd just go for it. Wouldn't he? Hanbin looked up at him and nodded, nervous about doing this out in public, but the nerves had nothing to do with Bobby.  
  
Bobby grinned back at him, almost looking surprised that he'd said yes. They rearranged themselves, Hanbin laying on his back and Bobby laid out in between his legs, and Hanbin draped his arm over his face, hoping he'd manage to keep quiet through it all. He didn't really want to be quiet, though. He wanted to be loud, wanted to let Bobby hear him enjoying it.  
  
Which again felt weird to him, but it probably wasn't as weird as he thought it was. Bobby's mouth was hot and wet and Hanbin was having a tough time being quiet when Bobby started using his hand too, his jerks tight and hard in a way that made Hanbin wonder how long he'd actually be able to last.  
  
He couldn't believe they were doing this here, and Hanbin opened his eyes to look up at the sky, gaze settling on the moon. He bit the inside of his cheek to keep quiet, but he still let out a soft whimper that made Bobby squeeze him even harder, his mouth sucking tighter. Hanbin pushed his thighs against Bobby's face, his hold on himself slipping, nearly gone.  
  
Bobby couldn't believe Hanbin had given in so easily.  
  
Bobby wasn't new to doing this sort of thing in public, he'd had his fair share of private moments under the night sky, but there was something different about this time, and he knew it was the _who_ and not the _what._ He wasn't getting Hanbin off with the expectation of anything in return. He was just doing it because he wanted to make him feel good.  
  
Hearing Hanbin whimpering quietly into his arm was honestly enough for Bobby, knowing that he was the one causing the soft little noises to come out. It was proof, after all, of something he had to offer Hanbin that he couldn't do himself. No amount of money could buy this (well, it could buy the act, but not the feelings behind it).  
  
When Hanbin came he squeezed his legs against Bobby's head, but Bobby didn't mind, he just endured it and rode it out, waited until Hanbin went limp before he moved. He got up to his knees and tucked Hanbin back into his pants, doing everything up. He just stared down at him for a moment afterwards, his mind racing forward, picturing them like this again, but no clothes.  
  
Maybe it was better, in some ways, that they'd barely done anything yet. If he'd fucked Hanbin right away would it have changed anything? Would his feelings be any different?  
  
The longing and desire made it all worth the wait. He'd get it one day, he knew that. He didn't mind spoiling Hanbin along the way and going without for a while. It would just make it that much more special when they finally did fuck.  
  
He laid down next to Hanbin, pulling him in close, and smiled when Hanbin tossed a leg over him and burrowed in under his arm. It was cute. Bobby had never thought he'd be a fan of cuddling, but everything was better when he did it with Hanbin.  
  
“Did you enjoy dessert?” Hanbin whispered sleepily into his ear, and Bobby felt a surge of affection for him at that moment. It was nice to feel so strongly about another person.  
  
“It was perfect,” Bobby replied, kissing the top of Hanbin's head, “did you enjoy it?”  
  
“Yeah,” Hanbin replied and tilted his head back, opening his eyes, “I'd give it six stars out of five in my review.”  
  
“So generous,” Bobby grinned and kissed his forehead, laying his hand against Hanbin's cheek, “thank you, by the way.”  
  
Hanbin's smile was a little dopey, still caught in the euphoria. “Nope, thank _you,_ I didn't do anything.”  
  
“You gave me the green light.” Bobby pinched Hanbin's cheek and kissed his nose this time. It made Hanbin smile in a really cute way.  
  
“Well, do you want anything in return?” Hanbin asked, and he meant it. He didn't really know if he could manage a blowjob on the spot, but he'd be willing to try if Bobby asked.  
  
To both Hanbin and Bobby's surprise, Bobby turned down the offer.  
  
“No, I'm good.”  
  
“Are you sure?” Hanbin asked, surprised at the immediate no.  
  
Bobby smiled at him though and kissed him on the lips this time. “I'm sure. I didn't do this to get something out of it. I just like making you feel good.”  
  
Hanbin smiled at the words and had to bite his tongue before blurting out a rushed confession. Not the time, even if it felt like the time. Instead he just kissed Bobby and let his tongue do the talking. The last time Bobby had blown him they hadn't been able to properly kiss afterwards, the timing hadn't quite worked out in their favour.  
  
But Hanbin took the time to kiss him now, his tongue probing into Bobby's mouth, tasting _himself_ on Bobby's tongue. It was more than a little weird to think about it, but it was kind of hot at the same time. He wondered if Bobby would taste the same?  
  
He'd find out soon enough. But for now he'd just spend however long he could just like this, blissfully happy and certain that he wasn't just seeing and hearing what he wanted to see and hear. It was all real and it would last, he was certain of it.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You'll hear more about Hanbin's relationship with Woosung in a future chapter. :)


	29. Top Quality

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jinhwan ponders his future, Hanbin ponders his feelings, and Junhoe ponders murdering Seungri.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, my apologies for the delay in posting. I had wanted to try to get this chapter ready last weekend, but I just wasn't able to manage it. With this chapter comes an announcement that I am saddened to have to make, but it's something that is absolutely necessary for me right now.
> 
> I'm officially putting this story on hold for a month. I've mentioned before that I write this story on a weekly basis, and I just can't manage it right now (mostly because my job has been killing me since the spring and it's finally caught up to me). So rather than try and write every week and post it, I'm going to take a few weeks off and try to get myself a little caught up. I plan to do two things during the month break:
> 
> 1) Edit the entire story that has already been posted (because some of it seriously needs fixing up, and to be honest I've forgotten a lot of my own story so I need the refresher)  
> 2) Write a really detailed walk-through of the rest of the story (right now I have a paragraph's worth of explanation for what's going to happen in the rest of the chapters, but I need to give myself something way more detailed in order to make the writing experience easier)
> 
> Once I finish doing both of those things I'll have a much easier time in writing the remaining chapters (there's still a lot of story left to tell) but I really need a break in order to get all of that accomplished.
> 
> I will be updating my profile page during the break to say how far along everything is, so if you're ever curious about what I'm doing you can check that out. You can also feel free to drop me a message or chat with me through my account on Tumblr (drinkyourjuicejinhwan is my username, link's on my profile page) or my Twitter account (mugwump_cat). Tumblr's better for me only because Twitter doesn't always notify me when I have messages. So my response might be delayed.
> 
> You can expect the next chapter to be posted sometime during Hanbin's birthday weekend (Oct 20-22). At that point I should be back to my regular weekly posting schedule, with no further issues until this story is done.
> 
> Thank you to everyone who has provided this story with a lot of love so far! I'm sorry to have to put this on hold, but I've been struggling for almost two months now to make my weekly deadlines, so I need to do something about that. I'll keep you updated on my progress via my profile page, so check that out if you're curious. ♥♥♥
> 
> Now it's time to shut up and let you read this chapter. Sorry to have to leave it off here, but it should give you something to think about at least. Also sorry that Bobby isn't in this chapter!

Sunday mornings usually found Jinhwan in one of two places: advanced music lessons with his instructor or at church with Bobby and his family. This week it found him sitting by himself on the bank of the Han river, brass trumpet his only company. His instructor was sick this week, but it was just as well for Jinhwan. In two weeks time he was going to be sitting for his entrance exam to Seoul National University’s music program, something he’d been planning for since he’d been old enough to actually produce a decent sound out of the horn.  
  
He’d been feeling confident about the test lately, completely unconcerned. He could play through his examination piece without really thinking about it now, the notes just naturally there in his head. He’d probably have nerves kick in at some point next week, when his brain processed the fact that this test would essentially determine his future in music. He knew he could pass it and gain acceptance into the program, but what would happen if he had an off day and flunked it completely? That sort of thing stayed with you if you weren’t careful, it messed with your head and made you second guess yourself.  
  
He’d never had a problem with nerves before when it came to the trumpet. He’d gone for numerous tests at different levels and every time he’d stood on stage with a calm heart and clear head. Now, though, it was a step more serious. Now it was his future, his career. What if he got cold feet from the pressure? None of the tests had really meant as much as this one was going to mean.  
  
Of course if he flunked it might just be his subconscious trying to mess with him.  
  
It used to be the only thing that appealed to him, the idea of studying music and following along his family’s path. He still wanted it, still fantasized about standing on stage and mesmerizing everyone. But he wasn’t so sure if SNU was what he wanted anymore. Was he doing the test for himself, or for his mom? Some days his mind was clearer than others, some days he knew with wholehearted conviction that it was what he wanted. Other days he wanted to call up the admissions department and cancel the test.  
  
He placed his trumpet in its case before lying on his back, eyes up on the sunny Seoul sky. Time for a break. He took his phone out and opened the weather app he always used, but instead of looking at the weather in Korea, he looked up the weather in Torrance, California. Of course it was night time there now, but the sky was clear and the temperature was warm. Seoul should be chillier now than it currently was, but Torrance would continue to stay warm throughout the winter.  
  
He searched for pictures of the beach. California beaches had a different vibe than the beaches of Jeju Island, there was a different energy on those shores. It was appealing most of the time, but terrifying at other times.  
  
He hadn’t told anyone yet, but he’d been devoting an hour here and there to his English studies. He’d devote more but he was a little afraid of what that would really mean. The whole moving to California thing to study jiu jitsu with the founding family of the sport was a lovely fantasy, but it was also a terrifying prospect. It might not even be viable, either. He hadn’t discussed it with anyone other than Seiyeon.  
  
Maybe it was time for that conversation he’d been putting off.  
  
He typed a familiar number into his phone and wondered if he was doing to right thing, continuing to chase this other dream of his? Two rings later and a voice answered.  
  
“Hey kiddo, good to hear from you!”  
  
Jinhwan smiled at the voice, because even though sometimes it was still a little confusing, it could also be comforting. “Hey, hyung! I hope I’m not bothering you.”  
  
“Not at all, just finished my morning class, actually, so it was perfect timing on your part.”  
  
Of course it was perfect timing. Jinhwan still knew his schedule. “Do you have time to talk?”  
  
“About what?” There was a slight undertone of excitement in Eric’s voice that Jinhwan could make out; Eric knew what he was calling about without having to ask.  
  
Jinhwan took a deep breath, because he had a feeling that once he started this conversation, it was going to cement it all for him, one way or the other. “About California.”  
  
Eric laughed and Jinhwan could see the expression on his face if he closed his eyes. Was that weird? He wasn’t really interested in Eric that way anymore, but he still liked to picture his face when they talked. It felt soothing.  
  
“Are you finally getting serious about that?” Eric’s question hung in the air for a few seconds, and Jinhwan opened his eyes and looked up at the sky before answering.  
  
“Yeah, I am. I’m nervous, though. I don’t think I’ve been working on my English as much as I should, I’m probably behind. Do you think that would set me back a lot?” English was the least of Jinhwan’s concerns, but it was also the safest thing to start addressing.  
  
“That depends on which way you’re looking at it,” Eric replied, “you already know terminology for fighting, you don’t need to be a skilled linguist to train. None of them have perfect English anyway, you’d be better off learning Portuguese if that’s what has you concerned.”  
  
Jinhwan grinned. “That’s not it. Do you think I could really survive in California on my own if I can’t talk to anyone?”  
  
“Trust me, there are plenty of people who move to the US with worse language skills than what you have and they get by fine. Also remember, Jinan, Los Angeles has the biggest Korean community in the US, so even if you do have problems with the locals, there’s a big community of people there who would happily welcome you in.”  
  
Strangers will always be strangers, but when you’re foreign strangers who speak the same language, you’re a little less strange. “Do you still know anyone there?”  
  
“Of course I do, I have a lot of friends in the area. You think I’d keep trying to talk you into going to LA without having a good group of people there to watch out for you?”  
  
Jinhwan smiled at the teasing tone. It was easy to say that he didn’t want to depend on anyone else’s connections, but he’d gladly welcome every single person Eric could hook him up with if he did end up going. “Are they rich? Can they house me if my mom decides to hate the idea?”  
  
Eric laughed at the question. “Everyone has to be at least a little rich to live in LA. I have some friends who could probably loan you their couch for a few weeks without complaint, but you need to square it with your mom. Don’t leave that hanging, Jinan, you’ll feel like shit if you never clear the air between the two of you over this.”  
  
“I was joking,” Jinhwan protested, but Eric cut him off.  
  
“I know you weren’t. You need to talk to her soon.”  
  
Jinhwan didn’t reply. Eric knew all about his struggles with his mother, he’d been there through all of them. Been there through the frustration and the tears, through the angry outbursts and self-doubt. It wasn’t that bad anymore. Maybe she wouldn’t be as opposed. Or maybe, now that he was close to becoming a legal adult, she’d accept his wishes finally.  
  
“I’ve actually been thinking about how to help you out,” Eric said when Jinhwan didn’t answer him, “you should look up USC Thornton. It’s the oldest music school in the States, has a really prestigious music program. If you found a place in between there and Torrance, you could do both without a horrible commute. Might make your mom feel better if you don’t frame it like you’re throwing music away for jiu jitsu.”  
  
Jinhwan was almost angry at himself for not thinking about it first. He’d intended to keep up with his music studies if he went to California, but he hadn’t actually considered going to university there.  “Can you send me the name? I’ll look it up. See what their requirements are. I know I can get into SNU, but this place might be tougher.”  
  
“Ah don’t say those kinds of things. SNU has a fantastic reputation globally, you know that.”  
  
Jinhwan grinned at the scolding. “You’re right, I guess it’s just always easy to think that going somewhere in a foreign country automatically means it’s better.” Eric was right—if he was good enough to be confident about getting in at SNU based on skill alone, he could probably get in anywhere.  
  
“You’re really good, right? It’s been a while since I’ve heard you play, but you always said you were as good at the trumpet as you are at jiu jitsu, and if that’s the case then you’ll get accepted easily. The school offers a lot of scholarships, so make sure you look into those as well before bringing it to your mom.”  
  
Jinhwan suddenly found himself feeling a little more confident that maybe he could actually pull this whole thing off. If he could do both at the same time, it would be even better.  
  
“Hey, hyung? Thanks for thinking about me.” Jinhwan was hit with a sudden shock of gratitude towards Eric. Even despite everything that had happened between them, despite Jinhwan being cold for so many months, Eric had still been thinking about him, had still been trying to help. Most people probably wouldn’t have bothered in his situation. Jinhwan needed to do whatever he could to keep that connection strong.  
  
“I always think about you,” Eric replied, and the warmth in his tone made Jinhwan smile, “I want you to do what you love, life is tough when you have to choose between so many things. You’ve got a good opportunity to do both, so I hope you take it.”  
  
“I will, I promise.” Jinhwan knew there was more that he was promising than just his future career. He had freedoms that Eric didn’t. While Eric’s family happily supported his fighting, they didn’t know about his sexuality. Jinhwan wished he could have his mother’s full support for his fighting, but at least she supported who he chose to love. He’d take that over what Eric had to endure, living a lie just to stay in the family.  
  
“So, how’s life otherwise? Dating anyone?” Now that the serious part of the discussion was over, apparently it was time for some teasing. It was a direct question that Eric had never asked before, and Jinhwan actually found himself relieved that he’d asked it. Part of moving on was actually _moving on,_ and talking about that was a good step.  
  
“I’m kind of involved with someone, but we’re not dating.”  
  
Eric laughed. “Oh are you? Is the _not dating_ your request or theirs?”  
  
“Mine.” Jinhwan grinned because he knew exactly where this was going.  
  
“Did you learn nothing from my experience with you?” Eric teased. “Be careful getting _involved_ with people, kiddo. You don’t want to do something stupid like developing feelings for them.”  
  
“Oh trust me, I am not looking to repeat your mistake.” Jinhwan teased back.  
  
“Especially not if he’s some snot nosed little brat, they’re the worst.”  
  
“Excuse me!” Jinhwan sputtered in mock insult.  
  
“You’re excused.”  
  
Jinhwan groaned at the retort, which only made Eric laugh more. “Such a comedian.” Joking about their situation felt liberating.  
  
“So what’s he like? Tell me about him.”  
  
Jinhwan didn’t want to admit the fling to Bobby or Hanbin, but Eric would be a safe person to entrust the truth with. “You actually know him.”  
  
“Spare me the twenty questions. What’s his name?”  
  
Jinhwan prepared himself for another potential lecture. “Remember Koo Junhoe at the last tournament?”  
  
There was silence for a moment and the longer it went on the wider Jinhwan’s grin got.  
  
“Are you fucking kidding me?”  
  
Eric’s reply made him feel a little smug. “Nope!”  
  
“How the hell did that happen? I know you guys made peace after a rough start, but this is unexpected.”  
  
“He asked me if we could train together, since he kept getting his ass kicked by short guys. So we did. Went well, then I introduced your blindfolded sparring.”  
  
“Jinan, no! That’s how we started.” Eric laughed, and Jinhwan grinned.  
  
“Don’t worry, hyung! I’m being vigilant! No emotions this time.” Well, no _strong_ emotions.  
  
“Yeah, that’s precisely what I said about you, and look what happened to me.” Eric’s tone was all warm affection, and it just felt comfortable to Jinhwan. Sometimes it was still weird to him, that professional fighter Eric Kwon had actually fallen in love with him. The heart played weird games on you sometimes.  
  
“To be fair I think I’m an easier person to develop feelings for than Junhoe.” Jinhwan couldn’t help but tease further.  
  
“Would you date him if you weren’t thinking about leaving?”  
  
Eric’s question took him by surprise—as did the immediacy of his answer. “Yeah, I probably would.” He _definitely_ would, but there was no need to say it out loud.  
  
“Ah, Jinan! Are you sure you’re not catching feelings?” Eric teased, but Jinhwan didn’t mind.  
  
“I’ll catch a cold before I catch feelings, don’t worry.” Just because he _would_ date Junhoe, that didn’t mean anything. After all, Bobby had dated quite a few guys he hadn’t had romantic feelings for. It couldn’t be that hard.  
  
“Does he know you’re thinking about leaving Seoul?” Eric asked, and that sobered Jinhwan up a little.  
  
“No, I haven’t told anyone yet. Didn’t want to bother before I figured everything out.” He should probably tell Bobby, at least, but he kept putting it off. Going back to Jeju for two years without Bobby had been hard enough. Jinhwan was trying not to think about leaving his best friend behind.  
  
“Ah, Jinan, don’t take too long. It’s better to prepare people in advance about these things. And be careful with Junhoe, alright? Don’t go breaking his heart.”  
  
“I don’t think he has a heart to break,” Jinhwan joked, “no really, I’m being careful, I promise. I know what it was like to be on that side, and I don’t want to do that to him.”  
  
“Alright, I’m just trying to be the voice of reason.”  
  
“I know, and I appreciate it. In all regards.” It was nice, actually, to be able to talk about all of this with Eric, who’d been there through all of it with him.  
  
“Well kiddo, it’s been a good chat, but I have to get going. Need to grab a bite to eat before my afternoon class.”  
  
“Thanks for the talk, hyung! You honestly helped me out a lot, I feel a lot better about the whole situation. I’ll look up that school you mentioned.”  
  
“Do that, and let me know what your mom says.”  
  
“I will. I’ll probably be back in Jeju for a visit soon, you wanna get together?” Jinhwan offered, eager to see him now that he was feeling more settled about the whole thing.  
  
“That’d be nice. Let me know when you’re coming, I’ll make sure I keep my schedule open for you.”  
  
“Thanks, hyung! I’ll talk to you later.”  
  
Once the call ended Jinhwan laid his phone down on his chest and put both arms behind his head, closing his eyes momentarily and just enjoying the warmth of the sun and the light breeze. He opened his eyes to a flock of migrating birds and wondered if it was a sign.  
  
He sat up and picked up his trumpet, feeling inspired suddenly. He breezed through his test piece, acing it perfectly, before freestyling a little melody at the end. Whatever the requirements were for that school in California, he was certain he could do them. If LA really did have a big population of Koreans, maybe he’d be okay after all. Maybe it would make his mom feel better, too. He’d have to research everything before going to her, though. If he wanted her to take him seriously, then he also had to take it seriously.  
  
He thought again about his friends. Leaving his family would be hard enough, but could he leave Bobby, too? They’d been together for so long, and even when he’d been back on Jeju they’d at least been in the same time zone. They wouldn’t be if he moved. Bobby had Hanbin now, though, and Jinhwan imagined that might lessen the sting at least a little.  
  
He’d miss Hanbin too, though. And Junhoe?  
  
He’d miss Junhoe as well.  
  
Jinhwan was good at making friends, though, so he’d be fine. But maybe he should tell Junhoe about California, sooner than later. Just to reinforce why they couldn’t let emotions cloud anything. Just so he knew. Wouldn’t it be kind of rude if he didn’t? Of course there wasn’t supposed to be any expectation anyway, but still.  
  
Maybe he’d wait until he talked to his mom. No sense in worrying anyone prematurely. If she said no then he wouldn’t be able to afford the plane ticket there, even if he did pass the entrance exam.  
  
His phone buzzed then, interrupting his thoughts. It was Hanbin.  
  
- _hey hyung, are you busy?-_  
  
_-at the han with my trumpet practicing for my test but not really busy-_  
  
_-do you mind if i come by? wanted to talk to you-_  
  
Jinhwan had heard all about the dinner date last night once Bobby had gotten home (not too long after he’d gotten back from his movie with Junhoe). What could Hanbin possibly need to talk to him about? From what Bobby had said, the date had seemed nothing short of perfect.  
  
_-yeah sure come over! im at ttukseom park, text me when you get here and ill play something on the trumpet til you find me ;)-_  
  
_-like the pied piper! cool ill be there soon, thanks!-_  
  
Maybe the conversation he wanted to have wasn’t even about Bobby. But what if it was? He’d find out soon enough. He picked up his trumpet again, wondered if he should get in a little more practice before he had company. Before that he decided on a whim to take a picture of himself with the trumpet at his lips. He sent it to Junhoe and captioned it _‘blow me bitch’_ and sent it off with a grin.  
  
No less than fifteen seconds later and Junhoe had sent him a picture of his middle finger in return, no caption. Jinhwan thought it was hilarious, and typically Junhoe. He couldn’t leave it alone, though.  
  
_-nice finger, maybe on our next ‘date’ ill teach you how to use it!!-_  
  
Junhoe replied with a string of laughing emoticons, which Jinhwan thought was cute. Junhoe asked him what he was doing, and Jinhwan mentioned practicing for his test by the river. Junhoe was currently having a brunch date with his sister, and it made Jinhwan think about Seiyeon. Maybe he'd talk to her about the university. It would be a good practice run before talking to his mother.  
  
He got in a good twenty minutes of practice before Hanbin showed up, flopping down next to him on the grassy bank of the river. Jinhwan studied him, relieved to find him in good spirits at least.  
  
“So, how was the date last night? I heard it was fancy. I’m kind of jealous, to be honest, that place sounds amazing.”  
  
Hanbin smiled at the question and leaned up on his elbow. “It was a date worth being jealous over, both the dinner and the dessert.”  
  
Jinhwan noticed the slight blush on Hanbin’s cheeks at his comment. “What did you have for dessert?” Bobby hadn’t said anything about what they’d done after dinner, just that they’d walked around for a bit before he’d taken Hanbin home.  
  
Hanbin shrugged and looked at him, eyes searching his face. “Did he not tell you?”  
  
Jinhwan shook his head. “No, just said he walked you home.”  
  
Hanbin looked a little perplexed, like it was unexpected to hear. “Ah, well, we went for a walk, ended up at a park for a while.” Should he tell Jinhwan what they’d done? Why hadn’t Bobby told him? Hanbin had texted both Junhoe and Donghyuk about it after he’d gotten home, unable to keep it to himself. Their texts couldn’t have been more different if they’d tried. While Donghyuk had replied in excitement and asked for details, Junhoe’s response had been one single word, but it had actually comforted Hanbin, because it was exactly what he’d been expecting. _‘Congratulations?’_ Junhoe would listen if Hanbin wanted to gush, but he wasn’t the type to get nosy for details like Donghyuk.  
  
“What did you do at the park?” Jinhwan asked, grinning and leaning in closer. Hanbin got the cutest dimples when he smiled, and Jinhwan could see why Bobby had gotten weak for him. Jinhwan preferred his guys to have a bit of a sexier edge to them, while Bobby liked the cute ones. It was a little wild that they'd managed to find a set of best friends who so perfectly matched their ideal types.  
  
“Ah, well, I don’t know, this might not seem all that exciting to you,” Hanbin began, slightly embarrassed to talk about it, “but he gave me a blow job. Right outside, I was looking up at the sky, it was awesome.”  
  
Jinhwan grinned and patted his arm. “Ah, you’re cute, Bin-ah! Just wait until you guys start fucking outside, then you’ll really be in good.”  
  
“Hyung!” Hanbin shot him a scandalized look and Jinhwan couldn’t help but laugh.  
  
“What? Have you guys not fucked yet?” Jinhwan knew the answer was no (which he was still surprised about) but he was curious if Hanbin would actually talk about it. Maybe it was pushing their new friendship a little too much. Maybe not.  
  
Hanbin shook his head, curious eyes on Jinhwan. “No, not yet. I want to, but, we just haven’t really had an opportunity.” Jinhwan looked surprised and Hanbin wondered if Bobby had talked about it with him. Would it be weird for him, to hear about Hanbin in an intimate way? Is that why Bobby hadn’t said anything to him?  
  
Jinhwan nodded, deciding to bite back a teasing comment about it for once. “It’ll be amazing when you do, he really cares about you. I know he’ll make it good.”  
  
Hanbin ducked his head down at the comment, though he looked pleased. Jinhwan could still see his ears turning pink, though. But his next question caught Jinhwan off guard.  
  
“Hyung, have you ever been in love?”  
  
Jinhwan didn’t hesitate before answering. “I have.” He wasn’t in love anymore, but he knew himself well enough to know that he had been at the time.  
  
“What was it like, for you?” Hanbin asked, and he looked so desperate for an answer that Jinhwan couldn’t help but tease him.  
  
“Well, I still feel it, to be honest. Every single time I look in the mirror and see my own face I get butterflies in my stomach.” Jinhwan winked at him and didn’t bother dodging when Hanbin lashed out and punched him in the arm. It just made Jinhwan laugh harder.  
  
“I’m serious!” Hanbin protested.  
  
“I couldn’t help myself, sorry!” Jinhwan replied with a smirk. “Being in love, though, to be honest at the time it felt amazing, I guess it kind of made me feel a little invincible? Which is kind of dorky, I know. Looking back on it now, honestly while it was exciting it was also a little scary. That someone can have the power over you to make you feel a bunch of different things, without even doing anything. Worrying that the person you love will never love you back as strong, that was tough. Always wondering if that one will be _the one_ or not. Afraid to even bring it up.” Hanbin nodded and Jinhwan felt a little surprised at how nice it felt to say it all out loud. He’d never really talked to anyone about what being with Eric had been like for him, and even though Hanbin didn’t know _who_ Jinhwan was talking about, just discussing the seriousness of the feelings with him made him feel better. It felt like it was relieving a little bit of tension that he didn’t realize he’d been carrying around.  
  
Hanbin thought Jinhwan had summed it all up perfectly. He couldn’t stop thinking about it after last night, couldn’t get the feelings out of his head no matter what he did. He was certain that he was in love with Bobby, it wasn’t just some rushed teenage romance that would fizzle out in a month’s time.  
  
Jinhwan waited for Hanbin to respond, but when he didn’t, when he just looked up at the sky with a thoughtful expression, Jinhwan couldn’t help but be nosy. “Are you in love with Bobby?”  
  
Hanbin nodded, glanced at Jinhwan and smiled. “Yeah, I think so. But I’ve never really been in love before, so I don’t know. I wanted to tell him, last night, but I couldn’t. Do you think he’d freak out if I said it?”  
  
Jinhwan almost couldn’t believe they were having this conversation. It felt like he was filming some drama. “Guaranteed, under normal circumstances, he’d freak out. Any other guy and he’d probably run for the hills.”  
  
“Ah, hyung! You’re not helping!” Hanbin whined, smacking Jinhwan’s arm.  
  
Jinhwan grinned. “I said under _normal_ circumstances! You are a different case.” Hanbin pouted at him and Jinhwan laughed. “Oh stop it, if you want my honest opinion? I think Bobby’s in love with you too.”  
  
“Do you really think so?” Hanbin looked more vulnerable than Jinhwan would have expected, and it made him feel suddenly soft.  
  
“I do, but I don’t know if he fully realizes it yet. I’ve known him long enough to be able to tell, though. He still might freak out a little if you say it to him, but you won’t scare him off, if that’s what you were worried about.”  
  
“Thanks, hyung.” Hanbin looked happy with the answer.  
  
Jinhwan felt good about being able to help Hanbin out. He would have done anything to have someone to talk to when he was with Eric. He'd been too paranoid, though, too worried about it somehow getting back to Eric's family. “You guys make a cute couple, you’re good for him.”  
  
“Hey speaking of cute couples, are you and Junhoe still training together?”  
  
“Junhoe and I are not a couple, but nice try.” Hanbin gave him a look of disbelief that made Jinhwan reach out and swat his arm. “Honestly! Stop trying to hook us up, you’re making Junhoe look desperate.”  
  
“No hyung, I’m desperate! I mean think about it, the four of us hang out together all the time. We could double date.” Hanbin grinned at him, and Jinhwan shook his head.  
  
“Hanbin, no, don’t be gross.” Jinhwan couldn’t help but laugh, though. He shouldn’t be encouraging Hanbin, not after his talk with Eric.  
  
“Come on! It would be fun. You could have a test run date this upcoming weekend.”  
  
“Why do you sound like you have something planned already?” Jinhwan asked.  
  
“Junhoe and I have a really important math test this week, he’s been studying really hard for it. I think, as a prize for doing well, we should go do something fun.”  
  
Jinhwan thought he ought to say no. He couldn’t tell Hanbin about what was going on between he and Junhoe, but he couldn’t keep playing into Hanbin’s little fantasies either. “I’m almost afraid to ask what your idea of a fun double date would be.”  
  
“I was thinking of going to Lotte World. I haven’t been since I was a kid, I thought it would be fun.”  
  
The answer was unexpected. “An amusement park? God, Hanbin, that’s both disgusting and adorable. I’m in.” Jinhwan loved amusement parks, and if it had been any other idea he might have said no. But this was something he couldn't turn down.  
  
Hanbin looked a little surprised at his immediate agreement. “You want to?”  
  
Jinhwan nodded. “For sure! It won’t be a date, but I’ll definitely go with you guys.”  
  
“Might turn into a date by the end of it.” Hanbin winked at him, and Jinhwan smacked him again.  
  
This was _not_ going to turn into an actual date. He and Junhoe would just have to be vigilant about not giving anything away. They'd have to take advantage of dark corners in haunted houses and roller coasters if they wanted to do anything exciting. Jinhwan had never made out at an amusement park before, but he wanted to.

* * *

  
“Okay be honest with me—what the hell have you been doing lately? Your defensive form has improved so much.”  
  
Junhoe sat up and reached for his water bottle, taking a long swig before replying to Seungri. “Nothing, hyung, it must be God’s blessing.”  
  
“Come over here so I can slap you.” Seungri replied, holding his hand out and glaring at Junhoe.  
  
Junhoe just laughed, though, staying out of reach. “Seriously, hyung! I think it’s a sign.”  
  
“Yeah it’s a sign alright,” Seungri sat up and reached for his own bottle, “a sign that I’m going to kick your ass for real.” He took a sip of his water before squirting some of it at Junhoe, who got hit in the neck.  
  
“Ah, hyung! It’s burning, what did you put in there?” Junhoe played along, in good spirits after the compliment.  
  
Seungri winked at him. “Holy water.”  
  
Junhoe laughed and laid back down on the mat, arms stretched up over his head. “Ah you got me, I really made a deal with the devil.”  
  
“I figured as much.”  
  
Junhoe grinned to himself, because it kind of was half true, really. Jinhwan could certainly play the role of the devil rather convincingly. “Alright in all honesty, I’ve actually been training with someone different for the past few weeks.”  
  
“Oh? Who's that?”  
  
“You’re probably going to laugh at this, but I’ve been training with Jinhwan.”  
  
Seungri met him with a blank stare of disbelief. “Your old mortal enemy Jinhwan? The one who keeps kicking your ass?”  
  
Junhoe glared at him. “Yes, that one. I lost to him a few times, but then I lost to that other short guy too, Jimin, and I realized that maybe I just needed to train with someone short, you know?”  
  
Seungri looked impressed after hearing the explanation. “Wow, personal growth? Who are you?”  
  
“Oh shut up!” Junhoe looked around for something to throw at him, but there was nothing besides his water bottle.  
  
“Okay jokes aside, that actually is smart thinking, and you can hate me all you want, but it is really good character development for you. I’ve known you long enough, Junhoe-ya, a year ago you never would have been caught dead asking someone like Jinhwan for help. I’m proud of you, you're growing up.” Seungri said the last part teasingly and Junhoe grit his teeth and just took it.  
  
Besides—loathe as he was to admit it, Seungri was right. He never would have asked a competitor for help before, his pride would have gotten in the way. But now? Well, now his pride was more concerned with actually _getting better_ at the sport, and if that meant asking someone like Jinhwan for help, then he’d do it.  
  
“Hey speaking of development, when are you finally gonna go for your brown belt, hyung? I feel like you’ve been a purple forever.”  
  
Seungri grinned at the question. “Soon, probably. I took a year of competitive fighting off for school, but I have that under control now, so I think I’ll probably look at doing it in the spring. Do a few tournaments first, kick your ass in at least one of them. Why are you asking?”  
  
Junhoe shrugged but knew his comment might get inflammatory. “Jinhwan hyung’s actually testing for his brown belt this month, so you should really get moving on that. I’d kill to see you guys fight each other.”  
  
Seungri shook his head. “Ah, is he, now? Can’t let your tiny friend get ahead of me. Who do you think would win if we fought each other?” Seungri’s gaze was focused on Junhoe, eyes narrowed.  
  
Junhoe grinned and winked at him. “I’d bet money on Jinhwan kicking your ass.”  
  
Seungri looked every bit as disappointed as Junhoe had hoped. “What?! Come over here and say that to my face so I can choke you out afterwards.”  
  
Junhoe just laughed. “He might be small but he’s tough! Eric Kwon trained him, after all.”  
  
“Ah right, your celebrity crush?” Seungri teased, squirting water at Junhoe again when he glared at him.  
  
“Fuck off, hyung,  _one time_ I said I thought he was hot!” Seungri squirted him again and Junhoe lunged at him. “Quit it with the damn water!” Seungri was too busy laughing to fight back, easily allowing Junhoe to get him in an armbar. “God, hyung, you’re so annoying!” Junhoe held the lock on him until Seungri told him to let go, and then they both sat up, Seungri still laughing and Junhoe trying not to.  
  
“Ah, you know what, Junhoe? I’m happy you got over your jealous anger against Jinhwan. I didn’t like seeing you so worked up all the time, it was weird.”  
  
Junhoe felt uncomfortable hearing him say it. “Ah, it was nothing, just a momentary period of aggravation.”  
  
“No seriously, you’ve never fixated on someone so much before. To be honest I thought you had a thing for him.” Seungri grinned and this time made sure he was ready in case Junhoe decided to lunge at him again.  
  
“I do not have a thing for him!” Junhoe replied, probably a little more defensively than he should have reacted.  
  
“I mean, the more I think about it… You really did let him dominate you, especially in that first match.” Seungri paused, like he was waiting for Junhoe to reply.  
  
Junhoe hated himself for giving in. “Your point?” He asked in a harsh tone, though he was sure he knew where Seungri was going.  
  
“Probably your subconscious getting to you, wanting to live the fantasy before making a move.”  
  
Junhoe lunged at him the second he said it, unable to help himself in the moment. But Seungri was ready for him and pulled him into an ankle lock.  
  
“Why are you so upset? Did I hit a nerve?” Seungri teased, tickling the bottom of Junhoe’s foot.  
  
“Fuck off, hyung!” Junhoe replied, struggling and yelling out a curse at the tickle.  
  
“Ah, you have a crush on him, don’t you?” Seungri teased again, finally letting go when Junhoe wouldn’t stop swearing at him. Normally he’d scold him for it, but Seungri was too amused at the defensive reaction to the teasing to care right now.  
  
“You’re an idiot,” Junhoe replied as he sat up, glaring a hole in Seungri’s head, “I do not have a crush on Jinhwan!”  
  
“Okay maybe not a full crush, but you think he’s hot, right?” Seungri asked.  
  
“That has nothing to do with anything!” Junhoe replied, because there wasn’t really any point in denying that he thought Jinhwan was attractive. _He was._ But that didn’t mean anything!  
  
“Ah, my little bro’s head over heels!” Seungri teased again, and Junhoe finally managed to get ahold of himself. Why had he gotten so defensive right away at the teasing? It was just harmless fun. Seungri was one of the few guys at the club who’d never had a problem with Junhoe coming out as gay. He should be happy that Seungri was willing to tease him about being attracted to guys. Most of the others would try to avoid the topic altogether.  
  
So he took a swig from his water bottle and shook his head, finally grinning in response to the teasing. Whatever. It was no big deal. The important thing was that he was learning a lot from Jinhwan—both on the mat and off. Honestly it was a bonus that he actually thought Jinhwan was attractive.  
  
But being physically attracted wasn’t the same as being romantically attracted, and despite how well they got along together, Junhoe was definitely _not_ romantically attracted to Jinhwan.  
  
Not one bit.  
  
Maybe he would have grown to be, if Jinhwan hadn’t demanded they keep it strictly no emotions. Then again, maybe not.  
  
All that mattered was what he was getting out of the deal. And what he was getting was top quality.  
  
He’d endure the teasing for it. It was worth it.


	30. Rivalries & Revelations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Basketball semi-finals are underway. Hanbin learns something sobering about his arch rival, Taeyong.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello friends, welcome back! ♥ My break was well spent, I got some good work done. Have the entirety of the story all planned out in excruciating detail now, and I even have a few chapters worth of rough drafts pre-written so I'm ahead of myself at the moment. :)
> 
> This chapter ended up being pretty Hanbin-centric in the latter half, which I suppose is fitting, since it is his birthday weekend!
> 
>  
> 
> Speaking of that: just wanted to say happy birthday to wolvesgirl!! Sorry I couldn't get this finished up and posted for you yesterday, but I hope you had a lovely day! ♥

It was early in the evening on Wednesday and Hanbin was standing in the hall with Donghyuk and Junhoe, passing a bit of time before his basketball semi-final got underway. He was feeling good for the game, confident they’d get past their rivals. They had home court advantage, after all, since they’d finished first in the regular season. Not that it made a huge difference, because hardwood floors were all the same.   
  
Movement down the hall caught his eye. Opposing players, three of them, and Hanbin grinned when he saw a head full of silver blonde hair. In the spirit of good sportsmanship he should ignore them, let them pass without comment. But where was the fun in that?  
  
“Oh look, my favourite person.” Hanbin pushed himself up from the wall as they neared, eyes on his biggest rival in the league—Lee Taeyong. “Should I hire a bodyguard today, or are you going to play clean this time?” Maybe he was still a little bitter over his injury from last season, or maybe it was just the way that Taeyong always looked at him with a hateful sneer creasing his features.  
  
Taeyong, accompanied by two of his teammates, Daehee and Hyungmin, stopped in front of Hanbin. “Keep talking, and the only thing you'll be able to run after today is your mouth.”

The threat didn't bother Hanbin in the slightest. “Yeah you'll need that to happen if you have any hope of overtaking my record this season, won't you?” Hanbin retorted, amused twinkle in his eye as he traded barbs with Taeyong. Hanbin was currently in the lead between the two of them this year, in their yearly rivalry for most points scored, but that could easily be changed from one game alone.

“Man, why the fuck are you even talking to this fag anyway? Let's get to the gym.” Hyungmin pushed his way through the hall, but Daehee remained with Taeyong.

“Is it true, about you and the captain of Gwangnam? Bobby Kim?” Daehee questioned, arms crossed over his chest.

“Is what true?” Hanbin asked, unflinching. Of course the news about he and Bobby would be spreading throughout the district by now.

“That you're his little bitch?” Daehee replied, leaning in aggressively.

Nothing would happen before the game, though. None of them were that stupid.   
  
“Last I recall, not long ago you guys played Gwangnam, and at the end of that game you lost. So I guess that makes you guys the bitches.” Hanbin winked at Daehee. He really shouldn't be engaging them like this, especially not before the game. But he couldn't bring himself to keep his mouth shut.

Daehee cracked his knuckles but his response was halted by Taeyong's hand at his chest. “Enough, he's not worth our time. We'll see you on the court.”

“Yeah, go cry to your bitch boyfriend after we destroy you tonight.” Daehee snarled back before following Taeyong down the hall. Hanbin watched them go with a grin. Nothing like a little pre-match trash talking to get him in the right mindset.

“Was that really necessary?”

Hanbin's smirk melted away just slightly as he turned to face Donghyuk. It was clear from Donghyuk's tone that he disagreed with Hanbin's pre-match conversation. “It's always necessary.”

Donghyuk shook his head. “Just because the guy's a jerk, doesn't mean you have to start shit with him.”

Hanbin shrugged, unconcerned with the criticism. “Rivalry's a fun part of the game! Besides, it's worth it when we win later. They'd be doing the same thing back to me.”

Donghyuk shook his head and sighed, the sound heavy with disappointment. “That doesn't matter, Hanbin. You should set a good example instead. It's one thing to respond to someone else, but it's another when you're the instigator.”

Hanbin grinned and slung an arm around his shoulder. “Okay, mom, should I go and apologize to them?”

Donghyuk shoved him off and tried his best not to smile. “No! That would just make it worse.”

“Are you sure? Wouldn't that be setting a good example?” Hanbin couldn't help but tease him over it.

“I think Dong's got a point, actually,” Junhoe interrupted, “it's the semi tonight, bro. Be a bit more serious.”

Hanbin fixed Junhoe with a confused stare. “When did you become a pacifist?” Normally Junhoe would have been beside him, talking just as much shit. He'd never scolded Hanbin for taunts before.

Junhoe shrugged. “Just trying to help you be a better person, that's all.” Junhoe replied, winking at him. In truth though, he'd been thinking about sportsmanship a lot lately. He and Jinhwan had started out the way Hanbin and Taeyong were. But things wouldn't have gotten so bad if they'd both been politer in greetings. Maybe it was a bit different with team sports, but Junhoe still thought that Hanbin was only inviting trouble by being the instigator. Why fuel the fire when there was already bad blood?

“Hold on, you trying to help someone be a better person? I'll accept that from Donghyuk, but not from you.” Hanbin retorted, grinning at Junhoe's now glaring face.

“Excuse me? I'm a wonderful person.”

Hanbin shook his head in disagreement. “You're an okay person.”

“I think you're a good person, Junhoe.” Donghyuk joined in, much to Hanbin's disappointment.

“What? You know, Donghyuk, Junhoe didn't even like you at first.” Hanbin said, grinning when Junhoe's face creased in betrayal. He didn’t get a chance to respond though before Donghyuk did.

“I can't blame him,” Donghyuk replied, “I was probably super annoying at first.”

Junhoe grinned and sent Hanbin a look of victory. “No you were cool, it was just bad timing.”

“Terrible timing,” Hanbin agreed, meeting Junhoe’s look with a smirk of his own, “he was still in the middle of having a hissy fit over having to share me with Bobby.”

“Well, you went about it very poorly!” Junhoe fired back. “You know, Dong, before Bobby came along, Hanbin and I used to hang out together every single Friday night. We'd go see a movie, or grab food or something. Every week, unless we had commitments.”

“Ah, so you were practically dating, then?” Donghyuk teased. Hanbin laughed and Junhoe looked annoyed.

“No, we were just platonically hanging out. Anyway that's beside the point! The point is that he went and scheduled a date with Bobby on a Friday night, and didn't bother to tell me until like the day before. Ruined my whole weekend plans.”

Donghyuk laughed at Junhoe's dramatic explanation, while Hanbin snorted.

“Do you hear this drama queen? A guy can't even go on a first date in peace! You know he wanted to spy on me?”

“I did not!” Junhoe denied. “Hanbin wouldn't tell me who the guy was, so I just wanted to go there first to scope him out.”

“You what?!” Donghyuk asked, laughing again.

“He said we'd go there together and hide in the bushes, wait for my date to show up. Then he'd go check the guy out to see if he met his standards. If not then he was gonna make me blow the guy off and hang out with him instead.” Hanbin grinned as they recounted the tale. Junhoe had come such a long way since then.

“That's not so bad, right?” Junhoe asked, even though it did sound terrible hearing it explained out loud. Had he really been so possessive of Hanbin? It was a little surprising to realize it.

“I can't believe Hanbin has put up with you for so long,” Donghyuk said, but he linked his arm with Junhoe's when he was about to pull away, “it's cute, though! A little crazy, but I guess it showed you cared, right?”

Hanbin shook his head at Donghyuk's comments. “No! Don't support that kind of behaviour! What are you going to do when you go on a date, if he acts like that?” Hanbin asked.

“I'd be flattered that a friend cared about me so much.” Donghyuk replied, grinning when it made the other two roll their eyes.

“Besides, Donghyuk will be fine,” Junhoe said, “I know Yunhyeong hyung really well so I approve already.”

Hanbin was just about to ask if something had happened between them, but then Donghyuk yelled in annoyance and shoved Junhoe into the wall. Junhoe laughed and Hanbin knew he was just making shit up.

“Stop teasing me,” Donghyuk whined, “the more you keep saying that, the sadder I'll be if he's straight.”

They made their way into the gym then, and Hanbin left his friends to head into the dressing room. He took his phone out, smiling when he saw a text from Bobby. It was a cute little good luck message, and Hanbin typed one back to him. It was a shame they had to miss each other's games. It would have been nice to have Bobby here watching.

* * *

“So did Hanbin tell you about our big double date this weekend?” Jinhwan asked, grinning when Bobby looked at him in surprise.

“I'm sorry, our what?”

“It's not really a double date, he just keeps pestering me that he thinks June and I would be a good match, and he said we should go out on a date together, the four of us.”

“We go out as four often though, what are we doing different this time?” Bobby grinned in amusement. Trust Hanbin to not give up on his gut feelings about people.

“He wanted to do something truly date-worthy,” Jinhwan replied, “so we're going to Lotte World on Saturday. It's a date for you two. June and I will just be your chaperones.” Jinhwan replied with a wink.

“Sure, whatever you say.” Bobby teased, but he was excited at the idea. He loved amusement parks, and he hadn't been to Lotte World in awhile, not since he'd still been trying to be straight. His last time there was a date with a girl, and it hadn't exactly gone all that well. He was looking forward to having a much better time with Hanbin.

“I love amusement parks, that's the only reason I agreed to go.” Jinhwan replied. “He said it's supposed to be a present because he and Junhoe have a tough math test this week and Junhoe's been studying hard for it.”

Bobby thought the idea was cute. He was just excited to do something fun together. “When did you guys decide this, anyway?”

“Sunday,” Jinhwan replied, “we hung out at the river for a while.”

“Where was I?” Bobby asked, even though he knew they'd hung out because Hanbin had told him. Jinhwan hadn't mentioned it, though, and he’d been waiting to see if he would.

“You were in church.” Jinhwan replied with a wink.

“How come you were hanging out with my boyfriend while I was sitting through service?” Bobby pretended to be offended.

“My trumpet lessons got cancelled last minute, so I decided to sit by the river and play.” Jinhwan explained, though he knew Bobby was only playing. “Hanbin texted me and said he wanted to talk to me.”

“Oh yeah? What did you talk about?” Bobby asked, wondering if that much was true. Hanbin hadn't really told him how they'd come to be at the river together, or even given him any details about what they'd done.

“Something unimportant,” Jinhwan replied with a grin, “you.”

Bobby couldn't keep the facade up and he laughed at the answer. “Were you talking about how awesome I am?”

“Nah, he was asking me for advice on how to break up with you.” Jinhwan teased.

“Oh yeah? What did you tell him?” Bobby asked, wondering if he'd get a straight answer out of either of them. It's not that he was concerned at all about them talking. He was just curious.

“I told him the best place to break up with you would be at an amusement park,” Jinhwan said, “I told him to wait until you're on a roller coaster and then to shove you out of your seat when you get to the top of the ride.” Jinhwan teased and Bobby put him in a headlock. Jinhwan let him hold it, only because it was game day.

Bobby rubbed his knuckles into Jinhwan's hair. “Don't say things like that! You're gonna feel like such an asshole if something goes wrong with the ride on Saturday and I fall out.”

Jinhwan laughed and managed to get out from Bobby's grip, and the first thing he did was fix his hair. “Okay fine. I'll tell him to do it one of those slow moving rides.”

“Kid's ride.” Bobby replied, and they both laughed at it.

“Anyway, I was just messing with you,” Jinhwan finally said, “he was really telling me about annoying he thinks you are.”

“Jinan!” Bobby shoved him against the wall, laughing when Jinhwan bounded back over to his side.

“I mean, sorry to put that on your shoulders before the game,” Jinhwan teased, but Bobby pushed him away yet again, “good luck!”

“Yeah I need luck, but not with the game,” Bobby replied as he turned back to face him, “I need it to make it through Saturday with your annoying ass there.”

Jinhwan laughed at him before waving him off and heading into the stands to take a seat. He was supposed to meet Jiun here as soon as he got off his shift, which would be a few minutes after the start of the game. So he pulled his phone out and sent a good luck text to Hanbin before starting on a message to Junhoe.

_-hanbin and bobby might be the ones on the bball team but i probably have the best ball handling skills! ;)-_

Junhoe's response was almost immediate.

_-world champion ball handler-_

_-i should make my own sport get a gold medal-_ Jinhwan replied, grinning as he waited for a response.

_-bukkakeball-_ was Junhoe's reply and Jinhwan couldn't help but burst out into laughter over it, shocked that Junhoe would come up with something like that. Shocked that Junhoe even knew the term.

_-excuse me i didnt know you were so dirty!!-_

_-it wasnt me im with donghyuk!!-_ The response had Jinhwan laughing all over again, and wishing that they didn't have two separate games to watch tonight. He wanted to be able to watch a game together before they had to cheer for separate teams.

* * *

When half time came around Hanbin's team was up by eight points. It wasn't that much in basketball, but it was enough to offer a tiny bit of breathing room. Junhoe and Donghyuk didn't bother leaving their seats, instead remaining in the stands for the short break.

“Oh shit Donghyuk, guess who's coming over?” Junhoe teased, watching as Yunhyeong made his way towards them. He'd been sitting with a group of his friends a little further away during the first half, but he'd gone out at halftime and was on his way back now. But he was taking a little detour to come by where they were sitting.

Donghyuk shot him a look of temporary panic, right hand shooting up suddenly to comb through his hair. After enough hassling from Junhoe he'd gotten it cut and was currently styling it differently. It wasn't really anything that extreme, but it did look a little less uniform. The thing he liked the most about the new style is that he could actually make a difference with his hair by running a hand through it. It was kind of fun to mess it up.

“Hey guys,” Yunhyeong greeted as he walked up to them, “good game so far, isn't it?”

“Hey hyung!” Donghyuk's greeting was cheerful and bright, and he couldn't help but smile. Yunhyeong had such an attractive face. It was hard to take his eyes off of it.

“God can't I ever get a break from you?” Junhoe greeted, his usual standard fare when he saw Yunhyeong outside of their tutoring sessions. He didn't want Yunhyeong to think anything was up.

“Respect your elders, you punk.” Yunhyeong replied to Junhoe, before smiling back at Donghyuk. “You should take some notes from Donghyuk, he's sweet.”

Donghyuk's heart fluttered a little at the comment. He really hoped he wasn't blushing. “You know how Junhoe is, hyung, he doesn't know how to be nice.”

“Hey! Way to stab me in the back.” Junhoe grumbled back at him. He didn't really mind though. He was willing to take a hit or two to help Donghyuk out. Sometimes there was no better way to bond with someone than by teasing a mutual friend.

“No Donghyuk's right, I've known you long enough. Too long, really.” Yunhyeong grinned at Junhoe before reverting his gaze to Donghyuk and winking at him.

Before they got a chance to say anything more one of Yunhyeong's friends showed up, carrying two bottles of Pepsi. “What are you talking to these guys for? Let's get back to the others.”

Yunhyeong stiffened a bit at the comment. “I'm having a chat, Siwon, I'll be back over in a few minutes.”

“You should come back now. It doesn't look good for you, you know. Talking to these guys when you don't have to.” Siwon didn't have to say the slur for any of them to pick up on his meaning.

“Why doesn't it look good? Because we're younger?” Junhoe asked aggressively.

Siwon glared at him. “You know why.”  
  
Junhoe nodded in response. “Ah, because we're gay, then. Right well you'd better stay over there, make sure we don't cough on you and turn you gay too.” Junhoe's voice was full of sarcasm and he punctuated his response with an exaggerated roll of the eyes.

While Junhoe confronted Siwon, Donghyuk's eyes were on Yunhyeong. Was he going to say something, or just let his friend talk shit? Donghyuk hoped the situation wouldn't put increased pressure on Yunhyeong to stay in the closet (if he was even in there, of course) but he also couldn't be upset if Yunhyeong said nothing to Siwon. Something as simple as sticking up for them could hurt Yunhyeong socially if his group was full of guys who were like Siwon.

Siwon shook his head and balled his fist. “You know, you talk a lot for a fag.”

“What, you think I can't fight cause I'm gay? Boy, do I have news for you.” Junhoe was tempted to stand up and get in Siwon's face, but he didn't want to look like he was provoking him outright. Besides, the fact that he was still sitting down casually was probably annoying Siwon.

“Siwon, shut up and go back to the group.” Yunhyeong finally got in between them, and for a moment the two of them just stared at each other. Eventually Siwon shook his head and backed off a few steps.

“Man, fuck gay guys.”

“Not with that face, you won't.” Donghyuk spoke up, emboldened by Yunhyeong stepping in between them. Siwon just glared at him in disgust but continued to walk back to his friends. Donghyuk heard laughter then, and he looked up to find Yunhyeong's bright smile focused on him. Making Yunhyeong laugh made Donghyuk feel like the funniest person in the building. He had it so bad.

“Nice one, Dong!” Junhoe replied, looking impressed.  
  
“Thanks, Junhoe! Couldn't let you get all the good jabs.” Donghyuk winked at him before looking back at Yunhyeong, concerned look in his eyes when he noticed that Yunhyeong wasn't smiling anymore.

“Listen, uh I just want to apologize for that. I don't want you to think that all my friends are like that.” Yunhyeong looked sheepishly between them. “Siwon's just really vocal about things he disagrees with. Even when they don't impact him at all.”

“Don't worry, hyung, assholes are everywhere.” Junhoe replied, waving the apology off. He hated apologizing on behalf of other people.

“Yeah, you stood up to him anyway, there's nothing more you can do.” Donghyuk added. “You can't make your friends fix their behaviour if they don't actually want to.”

“Ah, I know, but still. I don't want that to ruin the night for you guys.” Yunhyeong said, looking guilty even though he’d done nothing wrong.

“Are you kidding? I love talking shit to assholes, that made my night, it didn't ruin it.” Junhoe laughingly replied, and it wasn't even a lie.

“Yeah really, hyung, he wasn't a bother. I'm more worried about you then us, I don't want our friendship to get in the way of your other friendships.” Donghyuk added, and he meant it.

Yunhyeong looked at him in slight surprise, but his bright smile came out again. “Ah, Donghyuk-ie, no one tells me who I can and can't be friends with. But that's sweet of you to be concerned.”

Donghyuk smiled back at him. He was pretty sure he was blushing this time.

“Anyway I should probably get back. But I'll see you guys later, okay? Tell Hanbin he's amazing when you talk to him.” Yunhyeong waved to both of them as he started to walk away, but turned back to them a second later. “Oh Donghyuk? The new hair looks really good.” He smiled and turned his head quickly before heading back over to his group of friends.

Donghyuk couldn't stop smiling.

“Wow, he was definitely fixated on you. He's gotta be in the closet.” Junhoe replied, grinning at Donghyuk's expression. “There's no question about it. He likes you.”

Donghyuk shook his head. “Ah, stop! Maybe he was just being nice?” The more Junhoe said it, the more he kept thinking it too. Why would Yunhyeong comment on his hair? Had he really noticed? Did he really like it?

“If he was just being nice then why did he duck his head away after complimenting you? Probably hiding the fact that he was blushing.” Junhoe replied, amused at the turn of events.

“I don't know, I just don't want to get my hopes up. I mean, if he's got friends like that, maybe he won't even come out.” Donghyuk knew that was a valid concern. Even back in the US, where being gay was a little more socially acceptable, he'd still known guys who refused to come out publicly due to family and friends. It was even worse here.

“We'll see. All I know is that he keeps coming over to say hi to you, any time he sees us.”

“How do you know he's not coming over to say hi to you?” Donghyuk replied, and he really was curious about Junhoe's reasons. Was he really the one Yunhyeong always wanted to talk to?

Junhoe waved his question off. “Are you kidding? He might address everyone, but he always ends up staring at you. You get the biggest smile. Trust me, I watch.”

Donghyuk didn't reply, instead he just focused his sights on Yunhyeong, who was sitting near the other corner, laughing with his friends. Was Yunhyeong really that focused on him? Donghyuk wasn't used to having that level of interest from a guy who was that cute. Even if Yunhyeong really wasn't gay, well, the attention was nice. He'd enjoy it regardless.

* * *

By the end of third quarter Bobby's team was up by twenty three points. Kyungbock's starting point guard was having an off night and their best forward had disappeared at half time, out with an illness.

Jinhwan was in the stands with Jiun, both of them in great spirits. Bobby was having a good game, barely missing any passes. It was great to watch him like this, impressive and on fire. It had Jinhwan feeling proud of him, proud of being his best friend.

“Hey, Jinan, I wanted to talk to you about Hanbin.” Jiun made the comment suddenly, catching Jinhwan off guard.

“Sure. What do you want to know, hyung?”

“How close are you with him?” Jiun's expression was soft, so Jinhwan didn't think he was asking about anything upsetting.

How close were he and Hanbin, though? The question actually made Jinhwan smile, because the truth was pretty nice. “We're actually rather close. Hanbin's a good kid.”

Jiun smiled. “I agree, I like him a lot. I just wanted to know if you know how serious he is, about Jiwon.”

“Ah, protective instincts coming out!” Jinhwan grinned and teased him.

Jiun shook his head and smiled. “Oh be quiet. You know Jiwon, though, this is his first time really being in love. I can't help but worry about him a little. I swear mom's expecting them to make it as official as they can, she loves Hanbin.”

Jinhwan grinned. “Yeah does she ever! Hanbin loves him too, hyung.”

“You sound like you're pretty sure of that, Jinan-ie.” Jiun replied, and he was obviously digging for proof.

“He told me.” Jinhwan grinned. “We hung out on the weekend, I'm honestly not lying to you, but Hanbin asked me if he thought it was too early for him to say it out loud.”

“Say what? I love you?” Jiun's tone took on an amused edge, and his face broke out into a big smile.

“Yeah, the danger words.” Jinhwan joked. “Hanbin's crazy about him, so you don't have to worry about Jiwon's heart getting broken.”

“Good, just making sure. I mean, grandma met him, our pastor saw him; he better be serious.”

Jinhwan thought it was sweet, how Jiun felt the need to make sure. Maybe they were big enough now to not need physical protection from an older brother anymore, but the emotional protection was still something that would always be there.

“What about you, Jinan? You dating anyone I need to be aware about?”

Jinhwan met Jiun's eyes and shook his head. “Nope, still single. You only have one brother to worry about at the moment.”

Jiun reached out to ruffle his hair. “Good, makes life less stressful.”

* * *

One period later and Jinhwan and Jiun were down on the gym floor, congratulating Bobby on a well fought victory. They ended the game with a twenty five point lead and Bobby was ecstatic, singing the praises of his fellow players and making sure everyone felt appreciated. Jinhwan thought it was adorable, it was one of those things that made Bobby such a good captain.

While Bobby was busy getting a hug from his brother, Jinhwan checked the new message on his phone from Junhoe. They'd been trading updates back and forth and he'd just told Junhoe about Bobby's victory.

_-damn impressive win!! we just won too but it was really tight, hanbin was a scoring machine though it was great-_

Jinhwan was happy about the news, but also a little concerned. The final would be a showdown between the two. He hoped it wouldn't impact the relationship, but sometimes you could just never tell. At least they had a nice date planned in between the games.

“Did you hear about the other game yet?” Bobby was there at his shoulder, but Jinhwan pushed him away.

“God, go shower first before you touch me, you're sweaty, it's disgusting.” Jinhwan purposefully ignored the question.

“Fuck off Jinan. Tell me or I'm gonna bear hug you.” Bobby loomed in front of him, arms held out threateningly.

Jinhwan laughed at him. “Don't touch me. Why does it matter who won? You're gonna win the title anyway, right?”

“Jinan!”

“Fine. Whimoon won, of course. Apparently Hanbin was the top player, or something. Battle of the boyfriends for the final!” Jinhwan grinned as he watched Bobby battle several emotions all at once. He could see the relief that Hanbin had been victorious, he could see the pride that he'd done well, but he could also see the conflict at having to battle him again.

“Maybe you guys should both abstain from the game, leave it to your teammates.” Jiun teased.

Bobby whined. “Fuck! I'm happy for him, but I don't want to have to play them again. This is gonna be tough.”

“Maybe you'll get lucky and Hanbin will throw you out the roller coaster on Saturday.” Jinhwan teased.

Bobby grinned back at him. “Maybe I should be the one throwing him out. No room for romance in sports after all.”

* * *

“Guess who broke their own point record from last season with one left to go?”

Hanbin groaned at Hoseok's question. If they kept teasing him about things he'd never get out of the locker room.

“Leave the kid alone, Hobi, he hasn't even showered yet.” Yoongi pulled on a fresh hoodie, watching as Hanbin tried to push Hoseok's hands away from his face.

“Just trying to show some love to our little star,” Hoseok teased, his fingers finally grabbing Hanbin's cheeks, “how does it feel, Hanbin-ah? Gonna set a new record for yourself and for the district this season.”

Hanbin grinned and allowed his cheeks to be pinched. “Ah, hyung, quit it, that hurts!”

Hoseok just pinched harder. “Such a star, we're not worthy.”

“Hyung!” Hanbin grabbed his wrists, trying to push him away. “Yoongi hyung, quit watching and help me!”

Yoongi just laughed though and continued packing his bag. “He's just proud of you; suck it up and endure.”

Hoseok dropped his hands away finally, grinning when Hanbin whined and rubbed where he'd just gotten pinched. “I only have one game left to tease you in the season. What am I going to do with myself when it's over?”

“Find someone else to harass.” Hanbin grinned and winked at him.

“Alright I'm packed,” Yoongi shouldered his bag and grabbed Hoseok's arm, “I'll get him out of your hair now so you can finally shower.”

“Thanks hyung, appreciate it.”

“You sure you don't wanna come grab food with us? We'll wait for you.” Hoseok offered. They were joining a few of their other teammates for a quick bite to eat to celebrate the victory.

“Thanks, but no. I have a history test tomorrow morning, want to get a good sleep for it.”

Hoseok looked at him in confusion. “Didn't that get rescheduled for you guys on the team?”

Hanbin grinned back at him. “Yeah, but I'm actually ready to write it, I don't need to put it off.”

Yoongi shook his head. “There is something seriously wrong with you.”

Hanbin laughed at their retreating figures before finally heading for the showers. The others were already showered and out, but he'd been preoccupied chatting to everyone instead, enjoying the atmosphere after an excellent game. He hurried through his shower, guilty about keeping his family waiting.

He dried off and dressed quickly, hastily packing up. He heard voices in the hall just as he was about to leave the locker room, and the words froze him where he stood.

“You promised me this year would be different, didn't you? So why am I disappointed again?”

The voice belonged to an older man, but he didn't recognize it.

“I'm sorry.”

“You're sorry? I reschedule a client meeting to come to your game, only to watch you lose, and you're sorry.” There was tension in the silence that Hanbin could feel from where he stood. He thought he'd recognized the voice of the other person, clearly a player from Kyunggi, but he wasn't sure.

“It would be one thing to just lose the game, but to lose to a team with a player _like that_ , a player who goes on to do better than you, for the second year in a row. And all you can say is that you're sorry. After last season, I'd have thought I'd made it clear to you that I expected better.”

Hanbin felt a lump form in his throat at the words. There was no doubt that he was the player _like that_ , and if that was the case, then it could only mean that the person being scolded...

“I'm deeply sorry for disappointing you.”

His rival—Lee Taeyong.

“To think that my son is bested again by the gay player,” a pause for a disgusted sigh, “disgraceful.”

“That has nothing to do with it, him being--”

“Oh it does, Taeyong.”

“He's just really good, okay? He's just a really good player.” Taeyong's voice was strained at having to admit it out loud, and Hanbin felt like he was invading, but there was nowhere for him to go.

“You should be better. But you're not, and now you have to live with that.” Another pause. “Well, I suppose that's it, then, we'll talk more in the morning. I don't want you riding in my car.”

“What?” There was a note of panic in Taeyong's voice.

“You wasted my time, I'll waste yours.”

“How am I supposed to get home? I don't have any money for the subway.” The panic was there again and Hanbin had never felt more uncomfortable in his life than he was feeling right now.

“You have feet, Taeyong. Use them.”

Heeled bootclicks retreated down the hall and both Hanbin and Taeyong were rooted the spot, listening as the older man left. As soon as the steps were gone Taeyong sucked in a sharp intake of breath, and Hanbin thought he was probably about to start crying. Not that he'd blame Taeyong for shedding tears over this.

Hanbin wasn't sure what he was supposed to do. Taeyong lay between him and the exit, and despite their mutual dislike of each other, no one deserved that sort of treatment from their parents, and Hanbin didn't want Taeyong to know that he knew. Your rivals weren't supposed to be the people offering you support, and as much as he wanted to go out there and tell Taeyong that his father was an asshole, he thought it would only do more harm than good.

Another voice, then.

“Hey bro, saw your dad leaving without you. What happened?”

An awkward cough to clear his throat, and then Taeyong replied. “Oh, uh, just some shit came up at work, some emergency thing with the system, couldn't uh, couldn't get a hold of his tech guy--”

“Let me guess, the supportive dad network went down?” Hanbin knew he recognized this voice too, but he wasn't sure which player it was.

Taeyong didn't reply, he just let out a long shuddering breath in response.

“Dude, your dad's a piece of shit, I know that. Why are you always trying to hide his garbage behaviour?”

“He's not, Daehee, he's just, just doing what he thinks is best.”

“Taeyong, bro, no homo but you know I love you. Your dad just left you. You just played your ass off in a semi and he up and left you here because our team lost. Piece of shit.”

Daehee—the guy from before the game. And during the game, actually. He and Hanbin had traded insults almost the entire time. While Hanbin had always thought that Taeyong was an arrogant jerk with a bit of a temper problem, Daehee had always been the one making homophobic comments to him. It was weird to hear someone that he disliked so much be so caring towards someone else.

“Dude come stay at my place tonight, okay? I'll get my mom to make you kalguksu.”

Finally something resembling a laugh from Taeyong. “Can't turn down your mom's kalguksu.”

“I know, loser, it's your favourite. Come on, my dad's waiting.”

Hanbin peered around the door when he heard them leaving, watching their backs as they walked down the hall, Daehee with his arm around Taeyong's shoulders.

He shouldn't be surprised, really. Just because someone could do shitty things, it didn't make them a completely bad person. He was relieved that Taeyong had Daehee, who had no problem telling Taeyong exactly what he needed to hear about his dad. A lot of people might just stay out of it, but Hanbin knew that he'd be saying exactly what Daehee had said. He'd be pushing Taeyong to stand up for himself and not believe the garbage coming from his dad.

Hanbin remained against the wall for a minute, suddenly blinking back his own tears. He might not like Taeyong, but it still hurt to know that he was facing that sort of stuff from his own father. It wasn't right. No one deserved that. And if Taeyong was hearing that at home, then it was no wonder that he acted like a jerk at times. If his dad was always comparing them, of course he'd take his own frustrations out on Hanbin.

But what was his own excuse for being a jerk back? There was none. Taeyong was fighting off insecurities that stemmed from an abusive father, while Hanbin was just willingly acting like an asshole.

Donghyuk and Junhoe were right after all.

Hanbin finally left the locker room, heading back out for the gym. There were still a few families gathered around, and he spied Taeyong and Daehee with an older man that was probably Daehee's father. He was patting Taeyong's head and had a fond look on his face. At least Taeyong had someone. At least he wasn't facing it alone.

Hanbin focused on his own family then, stooping down to pick up Hanbyul when she came running to him.

“Oppa, you won! I was cheering for you!”

Hanbin kissed her cheek. “I know, I saw you. I'm happy you came to watch.” He was happy she was there—happy she was old enough to appreciate these things now. It was better to have the whole family together at times like this.

“Ah, finally, I was worried you'd drowned in the shower.”

Hanbin grinned at his dad's comment. He set Hanbyul down before giving his dad a very tight hug that lasted far longer than it usually did.

“Not that I'm complaining, but are you okay?” His dad hugged back, arms tight around Hanbin's back..

Hanbin pulled back and grinned at him. “I'm good, just happy that you're here.”

“Where else would I be?”

Hanbin didn't reply, instead he went over to hug his mom.

“Hey jerk, where's my hug?” Junhoe approached him then, Donghyuk behind him.

“Careful what you wish for!” Hanbin gleefully warned before wrapping his arms tightly around Junhoe, squeezing as hard as he could. Junhoe fought him off, but then Donghyuk joined in, helping Hanbin to squeeze Junhoe even tighter.

“Ah, guys, stop!” Junhoe yelled, trying to untangle himself.

“Boys, honestly! Let him breathe.” Hanbin's mom scolded them with a smile on her face. They remained in the gym for a few minutes, recounting the final excitement, and being surrounded by them all lifted Hanbin's spirits up again.

The echo of Taeyong's father's words left him for a while, but they came back an hour and a half later when Hanbin was in bed, history book open in his lap for a bit of extra reading before he went to sleep. He was still a little too high on adrenaline to fall asleep yet, and now that he was thinking about that post-game scene again, he couldn't get it out of his head.

A knock on his door, followed by his dad's head poking around. “Hey, are you still up?”

“Yeah, just reading for my history test.” Hanbin watched as his dad came into the room and closed the door behind him.

“I just wanted to say, again, that I'm really proud of you, you played a great game today.”

Hanbin smiled at the praise, but it was bittersweet. Not a day in his life had ever gone by that he'd doubted how much his father cared about him. He felt like it had become something that he'd taken for granted.

“But, I noticed that for someone who just played their way into the final, you seem upset. You worried about playing Bobby again?”

Hanbin shook his head. “No, well, I guess, yeah. A little. But that's not what I'm bothered about.” His dad came over to sit down on the edge of his bed, concerned look in his eyes.

“Wanna talk about whatever it is?” His dad offered.

Hanbin nodded. “I overheard one of the guys on the other team, Taeyong, and his dad.”

“The silver haired kid, right? Your arch nemesis?” He asked teasingly, because of course Hanbin had ranted about him at length before.

Hanbin nodded again. “Yeah, that one. Well, turns out his dad's an asshole. Told him he was disappointed that he'd lost to me, the gay kid, and then he just left him there. Said he didn't even want to drive him home.” Hanbin wasn't really sure why he was still feeling so affected by it, but he couldn't get the chilling words out of his mind.

“Sometimes it's easy to forget that not everyone has it as good as you.” His dad reached out and squeezed his hand.

“We've been rivals for a few years now, and I never had any idea that his dad was like that. He even specified me, since we're always in competition. It just made me think, you know, no wonder he doesn't like me, if his dad compares us like that.”

“I'm sorry you overheard that, Bin-ah. Even for a rival, it would still be tough listening.”

“It's not just that, though.” Hanbin paused, deciding to give the whole explanation. Maybe he just needed to say it out loud and admit his own part in it. “I was a jerk to him before the game, I mean we're always jerks to each other, but I started it. Probably made him hate me even more.”

“Don't feel bad. You're rivals, your only interaction is through a sport. There's no way you ever would have found out, except by accident. Do you think he would have wanted you to be sympathetic instead?”

“No, that would probably just be worse.”

“Probably. But now that you know, all you can do is just stop being an asshole. You don't have to be quiet and let him say whatever he wants to you. Just don't instigate things. If he wants to fling mud first, respond, but you know which topics to avoid. But if he just ignores you, then ignore him back.”

Hanbin wondered if it would be that easy. Could he look at Taeyong and not be sympathetic after what he'd heard? He felt like he needed to make it up to him, somehow. “I just feel bad, you know? He's going through that shit, and then there's me, with my perfect family, and I'm just making it worse for him. He's got a reason to hate me. What's my reason for being rude to him? I don't have one. I'm just choosing to be a huge jerk.”

“Why do you feel bad only now? Do you think it's right for you to be a jerk to someone even if they have a good family?”

Hanbin was silent at the question, shame churning in his gut. But that was the whole point, wasn't it? Personal reflection is never supposed to feel good—it's supposed to hurt, so you remember why you shouldn't be a shitty person.

“Sitting around and feeling sorry for yourself won't do anyone any good. You're a good person who acted like a jerk. It happens all the time. It doesn't make you a bad person. Just learn from the situation, and next time remember that you should always try your best to present a good image to people, even those who do you wrong. You're the one with the great life, Hanbin. You have a family who loves and supports you, great friends, a great future ahead of you with multiple options for success. So act like it.”

They were sobering words that he needed to hear. They still hurt, though. “You're right. It just sucks, figuring out that you're doing something bad.”

His dad squeezed his hand again. “Don't get hung up on it. Just try not to do it again. There's always going to be rivalry in sports, and there's always going to be trash talking. Just don't initiate it, and don't get personal.”

“Thanks, dad.” Hanbin felt better after getting the hurt feelings off his chest, and his dad was right, after all. He had nothing to drive negative feelings. It was easy to always tease and be a jerk in certain situations. It was harder sometimes to be a good person. But he should be striving to do that.

“You have a good heart, Bin-ah.”

“Use it for good, and not evil, right?” Hanbin joked back, and it made his dad laugh.

“Exactly.”

“Dad?” He waited for a moment, until their eyes met, before asking a sudden question that he wanted to explore. “Were you ever disappointed?”

His dad looked confused. “In what? You?”

Hanbin nodded. “Did you ever wish that I wasn't gay?”

His dad took a moment to respond, thoughtful and contemplative. “I was never disappointed, not even in the first second after you told me. I was worried, though, I still worry about you even now. It's a tough world to live in. You're a strong person, but with the laws the way they are...” His dad trailed off then, and Hanbin wondered what he meant.

“I'll be fine.”

“I just worry about your military service, when that comes up.”

Hanbin nodded. “Ah, right. The whole, it's illegal to be gay in the army thing.”

“I've had my lawyer researching the specifics of it all. You'd probably have to renounce your relationship when you join, just to be safe. No contact for the duration of the service.”

That was another sobering line of thought. But it was still years off.

“Ah, I don't want to give you bad thoughts before you sleep. But you asked, and I don't like lying to you. I worry about you a lot, for all the things you'll face that are out of your control.”

Hanbin was the one to reach out and squeeze his dad's hand, this time. “Maybe laws will change by the time I enlist.”

“Ah, I doubt it. Politics are slow moving, especially for policies that don't affect the politicians. But all we can do is continue living, and we don't worry about that bridge until we cross it.”

Hanbin grinned at him. “You have your lawyer looking into it, you're already worrying.”

His dad grinned back. “I'm worrying so you don't have to.”

Hanbin blinked a few times, trying to clear the tears out of his eyes. He wasn't sure how he'd managed to be so lucky as to being born to parents who never hesitated in their support of him, but he had to remember that not everyone had what he had. He couldn't take it all for granted anymore.

“And what about you? Do you ever wish you weren't gay?”

The question surprised him, the way his dad threw it back on him. But his answer was quick and it was certain. “No. I like being gay, I like guys. I'd probably be a different person if I was straight, and I like who I am.”

His dad smiled at his answer. “Good, that's what I want to hear.”

“I mean, sure, I get a lot of shit for being gay. But I'm sure I'd get shit for other things if I was straight.”

His dad nodded. “People always come after those who are successful.”

Hanbin grinned. “Ah stop it, you're gonna give me a big head.”

His dad reached out then, ruffled a hand through Hanbin's hair. “I have a big head. You, however, inherited your mother's genetics.” They both laughed at that one, and Hanbin squeezed his hand again.

“Thanks, for everything. For supporting me in everything. I probably don't say that enough.”

“I know you mean it, even if you don't say it.” His dad stood up then. “You feeling better now?”

Hanbin nodded. “Yeah, thanks for checking on me.”

“That's my job. I know you, I know when you're upset. Just glad I helped. Get a good sleep, Bin, do well on your test tomorrow.”

“I will, I'm ready for it.”

“You're ready for anything.” His dad stopped at the door to look back at him, and Hanbin could see the look of pride in his eyes. His dad's advice was something he really needed to follow. He had as perfect a life as possible given all of his surroundings. He needed to make sure he acted like it. No more unnecessary taunting, no more asshole behaviour.

 


	31. Arm Cardio

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jinhwan helps Junhoe properly celebrate doing well on his math test.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one's mostly JunHwan. No Bobby. Sorry guys! Next chapter is the Lotte World "double date" chapter though, so he'll be back then. :)

Weeks of studying, of forcing himself to stare at numbers when he'd rather be doing anything else, and it had all come down to this moment. Had it been worth it? Or had he just been wasting his time? Would he actually be allowed out of his apartment for the next month, or would he locked up in his room, atoning for his brain's inability to comprehend this year's mathematics course work?  
  
A slow flip of the paper, curling back the top corner, he held his breath...  
  
“Good god you're so dramatic, what the hell is your mark?” Hanbin groaned as he watched, tempted to grab Junhoe's paper himself and look.  
  
“I got a ninety two, asshole, but thanks for ruining the moment.” Junhoe breathed in a lungful of air and felt like he might just collapse into the desk out of sheer relief.  
  
“Wow, a whole ninety two, all by yourself! I'm so proud.” Hanbin teased him, leaving his paper turned up on his desk. He'd gotten a hundred.  
  
“Listen, I know you're a cocky piece of shit who's been acing the course this year, but I feel like I've gotten dumb. I had to work my ass off for this grade, so go fuck yourself. You and your damn one hundred.” Junhoe's words were grumpy, but his tone was playful. Hanbin always got better grades than him, so he didn't care. He was just overjoyed that he'd done so well.  
  
Hanbin grinned and grabbed Junhoe's test paper to look it over. “Not bad, not bad. Look at you! Aced the integers section. Yunhyeong hyung will be so proud.”  
  
“Give that back and shut up.” Junhoe grabbed his test out of Hanbin's grasp, smiling as he looked down at the paper. He'd been hoping for a mark in the eighties and had prepared for a mark in the seventies. Ninety two was beyond his wildest dreams.  
  
“No really, take a picture and send it to him. I can hear the pride in his voice already.”  
  
Junhoe could sense the oncoming comment and he focused his gaze on Hanbin.  
  
“ _Hyung is proud of you, Junhoe-ya! This is what happens when you really set your mind to a task and focus! Good job, you deserve this mark!_ ” Hanbin spoke in his impersonation of Yunhyeong, and the tone and inflection was so accurate that Junhoe had to clap.  
  
“That was perfect, probably word for word what's coming, too.” Junhoe took one last look at the paper before pulling out his phone, snapping a picture and sending it to Yunhyeong. Then he slid the test in his backpack, along with his textbook.  
  
“Really though, I'm proud of you for doing so well.” Hanbin tried to say it with a serious tone, but he cracked up at the end.  
  
“Really though, go fuck yourself.” Junhoe stood up and reached over to mess up Hanbin's hair.  
  
“I'm actually relieved you did well, because now that means I don't have to cancel our weekend plans.”  
  
Junhoe stopped and looked back at him, watching as Hanbin stood up and shouldered his bag. “What plans?”  
  
“Our Saturday plans,” Hanbin began, “we're going to Lotte World to celebrate you doing well.”  
  
Junhoe frowned and felt like hitting him. “Ah, Hanbin! I hate rides, you know I can't do them.” Of course there were more than just roller coasters at Lotte World, but still.  
  
Hanbin gave him a disappointed look. “You couldn't do them as a kid, when's the last time you tried?”  
  
“Motion sickness doesn't get cured with age!”  
  
Hanbin rolled his eyes. “You don't have motion sickness, you baby. You're just afraid of anything thrilling.”  
  
“Roller coasters aren't thrilling,” Junhoe retorted, “they're death traps.”  
  
“Well prepare to die, then, because you're going.” Hanbin led the way out of their math class, heading for their lockers.  
  
“What if I refuse?” Junhoe asked, even though of course he wouldn't.  
  
“You won't,” Hanbin replied, “I know this because Jinhwan hyung is coming too.”  
  
“What?” Junhoe looked at him in surprise.  
  
“The four of us are going,” Hanbin explained, “me, you, Bobby, and Jinan.”  
  
Junhoe groaned and looked up. “God, why do you hate me?”  
  
“It's our first official double date.” Hanbin teased.  
  
“You have to _be_ dating in order to go on a double date.” Junhoe replied.  
  
“Well, it's Thursday, and we're going on Saturday, so you've got two days to win his heart.” Hanbin winked at him.  
  
“Why are you so irritating?” Junhoe muttered, stopping at his locker to exchange his text books.  
  
“It's part of my charm, you love it.” Hanbin grabbed his gym bag.  
  
“You're so annoying, you put the harm in charm.” Junhoe grinned when Hanbin laughed.  
  
“Thank you, your words of encouragement always put a smile on my face.” Hanbin closed his locker and leaned on the one next to Junhoe's.  
  
“Glad I could be of service.” Junhoe shut his locker just as he received a text. “Oh, it's from hyung!”  
  
Hanbin leaned in next to him. “Open it while I still remember exactly what I said.”  
  
Junhoe opened the message and grinned.  
  
 _-I'm proud of you, this is what happens when you study hard and focus! You deserve this good mark! :)-_  
  
“Shame, bro, you were so close.”  
  
“Mere words off. The world is so unkind.”  
  
Junhoe slipped his phone back in his pocket. “Well, you had the voice down as well. I'd say that accounts for a bit of the word change. All in all, I'd give it a ninety one.”  
  
Hanbin laughed and squeezed his arm. “So generous! I'll see you later, got ball practice.”  
  
“Don't hurt yourself.” Junhoe replied, before heading for the exit. He took his phone out again, because he didn't feel like going home already. Hanbin had basketball practice and Donghyuk was busy with a study group. Today was his usual night off from jiu jitsu practice, at least at his own club.  
  
 _-hey hyung, busy? wanna go hit the mats?-_  
  
Jinhwan's response was immediate.  
  
 _-yeah! you coming to my gym or want me to go to yours?-_  
  
 _-ill come to you-  
  
-cool, come now if you can, we can get food after if you want-_  
  
Junhoe headed for the bus that would take him across the river into Jinhwan's neighbourhood. It wasn't that long of a trip, and in twenty minutes he was already at the gym. Jinhwan was inside, so Junhoe entered. Even though he'd been here often enough he still felt kind of strange, training at someone else's gym. By now Jinhwan's club mates tended to greet him by name when they saw him, familiar enough after numerous sightings.  
  
“Hey, congrats on the test. That's the one you were stressing out over, right?” Jinhwan met him with a smile, standing up from the bench where he'd been sitting.  
  
Junhoe nodded. “Yeah, I thought I'd done worse on it. I'm still in shock.”  
  
Jinhwan grinned. “That's good, I'm happy for you.”  
  
“I owe it all to Yunhyeong, really. I'd be lost without his help this semester. Speaking of him, though, I am certain he's gay.”  
  
“Oh yeah? Why's that?” Jinhwan sat down again as he waited for Junhoe to change out of his clothes and into his gi.  
  
“He came over to me and Dong at the game on Wednesday, you know to say hi. Couldn't keep his eyes off Dong, he kept smiling at him. So his friend comes over, starts talking shit about how it's bad for him to be seen talking to us, typical homophobic stuff. We call him on it, Yunhyeong even told him to shut up and go back to the group. Wasn't expecting him to stand up like that in public.”  
  
Jinhwan smiled (both at the story, and at Junhoe's bare torso). “That's a big step for him, calling a friend on that stuff. Good for him.”  
  
“Yeah, well, then he starts saying that he doesn't want us to think that they're all like that. But I'm telling you, he only had eyes for Donghyuk. It still wasn't much to go on, but right at the end, before he left, he just blurted out that he really liked Dong's new haircut. Like blurted it and practically ran away, like he was trying to hide his face.”  
  
Jinhwan grinned and pictured it in his head. “Probably blushing.”  
  
“Yeah, that's what I thought. Like who runs away after complimenting a haircut? Nobody.”  
  
“Unless you're complimenting someone you have a crush on, and you don't want them to know.” Jinhwan replied, and he agreed with Junhoe. It certainly sounded like something more than just a random compliment.  
  
“Exactly. He always comes around whenever Donghyuk is there, I realized it. Like I saw him out the other day when I was with Jaeho. He waved at me but didn't come over to say hi. If Donghyuk's there? He _always_ comes over to talk. Even if he's with other people.”  
  
“Definitely sounds like he's got a fixation. It's cute. Did he ever used to talk to you as much before Donghyuk joined you guys?”  
  
Junhoe paused for a moment, hands tying up the string on his pants. “You know what? He never really did. In fact last year he tried to actively ignore me whenever he saw me, always wanted to keep our relationship _strictly professional_ , as he'd say.”  
  
“Must be his subconscious then. I mean, given the chance, I think us gay guys would prefer to hang out with other gay guys, you know? Makes things less awkward. Maybe he's always seeking you guys out for two reasons. One is his crush on Donghyuk, and the other is his subconscious need for a pack of gay friends. Especially if he's got guys in his group that are homophobes.”  
  
Junhoe considered it as he tied up his gi. “You make a good point.”  
  
“I always make good points.” Jinhwan replied with a wink.  
  
“I can't argue there. Alright, enough about Yunhyeong. You want to work on anything specific for your test?”  
  
Jinhwan started stretching with Junhoe. “Let's work on defensive manoeuvres. I need to practice some things and you're still lacking in defense anyway.”  
  
“Yeah yeah, you know I just like being aggressive.” Junhoe sheepishly admitted, but it was true. He'd gotten much better at being a smarter fighter, but he hated practicing defensive stuff.  
  
“As Royce Gracie is fond of saying, _a belt only covers two inches of your ass, you need to cover the rest.”_  
  
Junhoe groaned and leaned in closer, looking around first before speaking. “I thought you liked my ass uncovered, though?” He usually didn't make such forward comments, but he was still on a high from how well he'd done on his test.  
  
Jinhwan grinned back at him, surprised to hear the flirtatious joke. He was in a teasing mood, though. “What ass?”  
  
Junhoe narrowed his eyes at him. “Are you insulting me or complaining that we haven't gotten to that stage yet?”  
  
Jinhwan laughed at the question. “A little bit of both,” he replied, feeling smug when Junhoe laughed. “It doesn't matter, anyway. Whether or not your ass has padding, it still feels just as good when you get your dick in there.” The both laughed at the comment, though Junhoe blushed a little at it. Even so, his reaction was nowhere near as shocked or scandalized as it would have been weeks ago. Jinhwan was impressed at the change in such a short time.  
  
They got to work after that, sparring together for nearly two hours before Jinhwan called it quits. The session had gone well, he was feeling good about his work, and Junhoe was definitely seeing improvement. They showered together and changed into their regular clothes before heading out to grab some food.  
  
“Did Hanbin mention our weekend plans to you?” Jinhwan asked him as they walked to their usual street vendor for post-sparring takeout.  
  
“Yeah, and I fucking hate roller coasters, which he knows.”  
  
Jinhwan grinned. “Oh yeah? Too much of a chicken for them? I'll hold your hand and make sure you're safe.”  
  
Junhoe glared back at him. “I am not afraid of going on roller coasters; I just get motion sickness.” That was a lie, but he wasn't about to admit it to Jinhwan.  
  
“Right. _Motion sickness._ I'm pretty sure there's a patch for that.” Jinhwan teased. He didn't buy the motion sickness excuse for a second.  
  
“I'm serious! I don't do good on stuff like that. Anyway, what do you want? I'll buy this time.”  
  
Jinhwan studied the vendor, looking at the options. “I want some tteokkochi, some grilled squid, and some octopus gimbap!”  
  
Junhoe rolled his eyes. “Anything else? You want me to buy you a house while you're at it?”  
  
Jinhwan grinned back at him. “Hey, you offered to buy.”  
  
“Yeah, well usually you don't get so much!”  
  
“Because usually I'm the one paying.” Jinhwan replied. “You owe me for all the times I've bought.”  
  
Junhoe grumbled but ordered everything. It wasn't really that expensive anyway, he was mainly just complaining for fun. They took their food and wandered over to a nearby park, settling in on one of the benches to eat. Junhoe paused when Jinhwan sat really close to him, close enough that their arms were touching, close enough that he could lean his head onto Junhoe's shoulder if he wanted to.  
  
It was still weird for him, that Jinhwan tended to get so close. Wasn't it too close? Especially since they were out in public?  
  
Jinhwan held his tteokkochi up in front of Junhoe's face. “Here, take a bite.”  
  
Junhoe did as requested, taking a bite of the crunchy rice cakes. He mumbled out a thanks through his full mouth, noticing that it made Jinhwan smile before taking a bite for himself.  
  
Two minutes later and Jinhwan's hand was on his thigh, tapping out a rhythm that Junhoe didn't know. It was highly distracting. What was Jinhwan doing? They weren't supposed to be like this, were they? Sitting close and being so familiar. It was behaviour more befitting Hanbin and Bobby.  
  
Then again maybe he was overreacting. His only relationship had been so physically innocent, almost no touching whatsoever despite the boyfriend status, that maybe he was just misjudging what was normal and what wasn't? Maybe Jinhwan's touches were just platonic and friendly. After all, Hanbin was a touchy person, and before he'd had Bobby to expend that attention on he used to get clingy with Junhoe when it was just the two of them. The amount of times he'd wound up with Hanbin's hand on the back of his neck or clutching at his arm were too numerous to count.  
  
Maybe Jinhwan was just the same way?   
  
“So, when's your belt test, hyung?” Junhoe felt the need to talk, to do something that wasn't so intimate as feeding each other.  
  
“Little over a month,” Jinhwan replied, biting into his squid, “I can't believe it's finally happening.”  
  
“You nervous for it? How does your club handle belt promotions?” The subject of belts wasn't something that was necessarily linear across all clubs. Some places didn't believe in formal tests and fighters were promoted when their trainers thought they were ready for it. You show up one night at one belt level, and when you leave you're at a higher one. Other clubs liked to subject their fighters to actual structured testing.  
  
“Youngbae is a fucking king of testing,” Jinhwan groaned, “it's a long affair. Especially since I'm moving up to brown, so it's super serious now. Going to have to demonstrate practically every move known to man, and then I'll actually have to fight and demonstrate it all in real time.”  
  
Junhoe was surprised at the in depth testing. His own head trainer did tests as well, but they weren't nearly as involved. “Shit, is there a chance you won't pass it?”  
  
Jinhwan shook his head. “No, Youngbae wouldn't call for it if he wasn't planning to promote me. It's just the ceremony of it all, you know? You wanna come watch when I do the test?” Jinhwan asked, wondering if he could convince Junhoe to come. He liked the idea of having him there to watch.  
  
“Yeah sure, if it works out with my schedule.” He wouldn't mind watching the test, just to see.  
  
“Your schedule,” Jinhwan replied with a laugh, “what schedule?”  
  
Junhoe grinned at him. “You know, might have something important come up. Like a haircut.”  
  
Jinhwan laughed and stole a piece of Junhoe's pork. “Well put it in your calendar now so you don't schedule anything for that day.”  
  
Junhoe grinned, wondering if Jinhwan really did want him there to watch. Did they usually have spectators at their graduations? He usually didn't at his own club. The only people who watched were the other fighters who happened to be there on the day when graduations were decided.  
  
“I'll make sure I jot it down somewhere, can't disappoint you by not showing up.”  
  
“Oh I'll give you weekly reminders, don't worry.” Jinhwan teased, finishing off his food.  
  
Junhoe finished his off as well, setting the containers aside and stretching his legs. “Thanks for tonight, hyung. I know it was a last minute request, but I needed to blow off some energy. I was all excited after doing so well on my test, I'd probably have driven my mom crazy if I'd just gone home.”  
  
Jinhwan grinned and leaned into his side, hand back on Junhoe's thigh. “No problem! I'm always here for you, any time. You still feeling energetic?”  
  
Junhoe looked down at Jinhwan and saw the smirk on his face. Clearly Jinhwan had plans. “Why are you asking?”  
  
Jinhwan looked around the park. It was a closed in area, buildings on all sides except one. They were currently alone, and the sun had set already. They were lit only by the few lamps around them. “Just noticing that we're alone, and it's very dark over in the corner where that one lamp is burnt out.”  
  
Junhoe looked around and wondered if he was really suggesting that they make use of the darkness. It was a little too open for Junhoe's preference, but then he supposed that there hadn't been that many people walking by.  
  
Jinhwan got up suddenly and grabbed his hand, pulling on his arm. “Come on, let's go check it out.”  
  
Junhoe let himself be pulled up, wondering if they shouldn't at least throw out their containers first. He didn't ask, though. They'd have to walk by them again anyway on their way back. He followed Jinhwan into the darkest corner of the park, his heart beating rapidly in his chest. What exactly was Jinhwan planning? If it was anything like the movie theatre...  
  
They reached the wall and Jinhwan suddenly shoved Junhoe against it. “I got really fucking horny while we were sparring, and it's just not going away.” He explained with a grin, before reaching out and grabbing Junhoe in between the legs, pleased when he heard Junhoe's strangled gasp. Jinhwan was no stranger to making out in public places, and he'd been watching the quiet street while they were eating. There wasn't much in the way of pedestrian traffic tonight, so he hoped that Junhoe wouldn't get too freaked out.  
  
Junhoe needed a moment to let his brain catch up with his body. He shouldn't be surprised, but for some reason he was. Jinhwan's hand squeezed hard and Junhoe sucked in a breath and tried to reign his thoughts back in. Was this really smart? Anyone could come into the park and see them. He wanted to tell Jinhwan to hold off for a moment, to let him really think about it all. But just as he was about to speak his zipper was pulled down and Jinhwan's hand was sliding in underneath the layers and the only thing that managed to slip out from his lips was a moan.  
  
That shut Junhoe up before he could even get started.  
  
Jinhwan watched Junhoe's face go from nervous and concerned to blissful excitement in the span of seconds. He knew it wasn't the smartest idea, making out here, but they were far away enough from the street that no one would really notice them unless they came into the park and walked a little closer to their corner. He wasn't looking for anything long lasting tonight, anyway. He literally just wanted to get off as quick as possible.  
  
Jinhwan unzipped his own pants while he continued to fondle Junhoe, and when he'd gotten them open enough he grabbed one of Junhoe's hands and shoved it under his own layers. Junhoe blinked his eyes open at the unexpectedness, hesitating when he realized where his hand had been shoved. Their eyes met and Jinhwan packed his gaze full of unspoken challenge, daring Junhoe to pull away.  
  
Junhoe's fingers closed around him though, the way he'd anticipated, and Jinhwan leaned into him, wanting to buck into Junhoe's hand. But Junhoe wasn't quite at that level yet, wasn't experienced enough to figure out exactly what Jinhwan wanted. Jinhwan had to be somewhat responsible.  
  
Junhoe's fingers tightened around Jinhwan's dick, and he closed his eyes and leaned his head back against the wall. His intent to question the intelligence of doing this right here was lost, crushed in the tight grip of Jinhwan's fist.  
  
Now that Junhoe was fully immersed in their mutual act Jinhwan slipped his other hand down the back of Junhoe's pants, fingers digging into his ass, gripping harder than usual, waiting to see how Junhoe would react. All that came was another moan and it fed Jinhwan's smug confidence. Junhoe's body was easy to play.  
  
Jinhwan closed his own eyes then, concentrating on Junhoe's hand. Junhoe had rather big hands and a strong grip, and Jinhwan could feel himself getting carried away in his thoughts. He couldn't stop the words before they slipped from his lips. “I can't wait to fuck you,” he said quietly, punctuating the sentence with a tight squeeze of Junhoe's ass. Junhoe froze at the comment, but Jinhwan kept talking. “I can't wait to let you fuck me, too. It's been too long.” Junhoe's stillness carried on, but Jinhwan thought that he didn't feel as tense.  
  
“Of course you'll probably be terrible at first,” Jinhwan teased, finally bucking into Junhoe's fist, “but we all have to start somewhere.”  
  
Junhoe had known this day would come eventually, but he hadn't given it any thought until right now. He didn't want Jinhwan to think that he was afraid, though. “I bet I'll be better than you were.” He relaxed a bit more and tightened his fingers again, looking down and taking the sight in with his own eyes. Just doing it was one thing, but the visual of their hands around each other was something entirely different. Made it all a little more real.  
  
Jinhwan grinned and pinched Junhoe's ass. “I doubt it. I bet you'll come in ten seconds when I finally let you fuck me. It's important for a guy to experience premature ejaculation, though,” Jinhwan teased, and he was rewarded for it by Junhoe rolling his eyes. It was just a defense mechanism though. Junhoe pretending to not be worried.  
  
In reality Junhoe was very worried about being a terrible lay. Of course it was to be expected, but still. Nobody liked feeling like an amateur. “What's your record, then? How long did it take you on your first time?”  
  
Jinhwan hissed at Junhoe's increased friction, cursing himself for not keeping lube in his backpack. “I don't remember, I'll have to ask my partner.” Jinhwan wondered if Eric even had any idea.  
  
“Well do that, then. I wanna beat your record.” Junhoe wrapped his free hand around the back of Jinhwan's neck.  
  
Jinhwan liked the challenge, even though he figured it was just faked bravado. He let go of Junhoe's dick for a moment, tugging his pants down a little, just enough to be able to pull Junhoe's dick completely out. The cool night air was a shock to Junhoe, who gasped at the contact. But Jinhwan's hand was warm, so it wasn't that bad.   
  
He'd been thinking about fucking Junhoe for weeks, now, wondering how long it would take until Junhoe was comfortable with the idea. He missed sex, even though it would be drastically different with Junhoe. He was used to a partner who knew exactly what he was doing at all times. Instead he'd have to be that person now, he'd be the one guiding and reassuring. He wanted it, though, both fucking and being fucked. Junhoe had been a pretty quick study so far, after all. Jinhwan hoped he'd be surprised when the time came.  
  
Junhoe's head was swimming with thoughts, torn between excitement and nerves, because even though he was a little afraid, he desperately wanted it. He wanted to experience it all, and Jinhwan would be the perfect partner for it, experienced and confident. But was he really ready for it? Was he ready to have Jinhwan inside of him? The thought was nerve wracking.  
  
At the moment all he really wanted was Jinhwan on his knees in the grass, taking Junhoe's thrusts into his mouth with practiced ease. He kept the request to himself, though. Jinhwan's hand was doing the trick right now, and it would be easier to hide what they were doing if they were both standing.  
  
Jinhwan had his eyes closed again, head lolled forward against Junhoe's chest. He liked Junhoe's hand on his neck, liked the solid weight of it on his skin. He pictured himself thrusting into Junhoe, pictured Junhoe on his hands and knees. He didn't realize how loud he was being, didn't realize the moans coming out of his own mouth.  
  
Junhoe heard them, though. “Hyung,” he warned, even though the sounds were getting to him, pushing him closer, “hyung, what do we do?”  
  
Jinhwan jerked into Junhoe's fist, didn't bother answering him until Junhoe's hand gripped his neck tighter. “Ah, what?”  
  
“What do we do?” Junhoe asked again, near breathless at the task of trying to hold it in. He was trembling now, his knees threatening to quit on him. “I'm gonna cum.”  
  
Jinhwan grinned and bucked hard into Junhoe's hand again. The friction was a little painful without lube but he was too far gone at the moment to stop. He'd just deal with the sensitivity for a day. Let it remind him to make good choices with Junhoe. “Ah just blow it on the grass,” he said, heavy-lidded gaze meeting Junhoe's similar one, “can't be the first time someone has done this.” Jinhwan grinned when Junhoe groaned louder and tightened his grip around the back of his neck.  
  
“Ah fuck, hyung, I'm ready, right now--” Junhoe cut himself off with a strangled cry and Jinhwan angled his dick off to the side at just the right moment, and Junhoe came with a loud yell.  
  
The uninhibited cry did its magic on Jinhwan. He pulled his other hand away from Junhoe's ass and instead closed Junhoe's hand over the head of his dick before he came into Junhoe's closed fist. Instead of yelling out he bit down around Junhoe's hoodie, muffling his yell into the fabric.  
  
They remained there for a moment, shaking knees and panting breath. Junhoe's eyes were closed when he dropped his head forward and kissed the side of Jinhwan's temple.  
  
Before Jinhwan could stop himself he was tilting his head up to meet Junhoe's lips, tongue pushing its way into Junhoe's mouth. They were a good ten seconds into the kiss before his brain caught up with him, and internally he was screaming at himself to stop kissing Junhoe, that it was a bad idea and was only sending the wrong message.  
  
But he liked kissing Junhoe.  
  
Liked it a little too much.  
  
They pulled apart seconds later, and Jinhwan hastily tucked himself back into his pants. Despite feeling wonderful, he was already a little sore. But then he looked down at Junhoe's hand, the one he'd used to cum into, and Jinhwan had to bite the inside of his cheek to keep from laughing.  
  
“Um, let me go get you a napkin.” He met Junhoe's eyes then and the look of mild annoyance in them brought out the laughter he was trying to contain. “Sorry, I uh didn't have time to point it somewhere else. It was either your first or your hoodie, and I don't think you wanted it on the hoodie.”  
  
Junhoe grimaced at the warm, sticky mess in his hand. Without looking at Jinhwan he flung his hand back and forth, shaking the majority of it off into the grass. The move just made Jinhwan laugh harder and even though he kind of wanted to be annoyed, Junhoe couldn't help but laugh too.  
  
“Next time let's think this through a little better?” Junhoe asked.  
  
Jinhwan just grinned at him. “There's no fun in that. Come on, let's get out of here before our indecently loud moans bring anyone running.”  
  
Junhoe flushed at the comment and followed Jinhwan back to the bench, where he took an offered napkin and used it to wipe the remaining mess off of his palm. They grabbed their containers and headed for the park exit, tossing the garbage out and starting on their way to the nearest subway station.  
  
They both walked with equally smug expressions on their faces, and they didn't speak on the entire way there. There was nothing to say at the moment, nothing that couldn't be said by the brushing of their limbs against each other as they walked. Words would only ruin it.

 


	32. Famous Last Words

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lotte World double date!

“Please tell me this was Hanbin's idea and not yours.” Jinhwan groaned when he caught sight of Hanbin and Junhoe in the distance.  
  
Bobby mustered up his best look of confusion before meeting Jinhwan's eyes. “I have no idea what you're talking about.”  
  
Jinhwan glared back at him and shook his head. “I thought I gave you specific instruction to not embarrass me today?”  
  
Bobby tried hard not to smile, but he was having a tough time of it. He knew exactly what Jinhwan was talking about. When he offered nothing but silence Jinhwan punched him in the arm, and that was when Bobby finally grinned.  
  
“What the fuck was that for?”  
  
“You know what that was for.” Jinhwan complained, but in reality he thought it was cute. Hanbin and Bobby owned some matching clothing and accessories (purchased before they'd even started dating) and apparently had decided to wear a dorky couple's outfit today. Matching snapbacks and hoodies. Just like a drama.

“I fucking knew something was up,” Junhoe said as they approached the other two, and he turned to glare at Hanbin, “you haven't worn that snapback in at least a year.”

Hanbin grinned and winked at him before hugging Bobby. “You pay that much attention to my clothes? Cute.”

“I can't believe we have to walk around with them today. They're so embarrassing.” Jinhwan added, looking at Junhoe and rolling his eyes. Junhoe grinned back at him. They hadn't talked since their mutual handjobs in the park on Thursday night, but they'd both had busy Fridays. Junhoe tried not to think about it, but it was difficult. He just hoped he wasn't blushing, looking at Jinhwan’s hand, thinking about his own hand.

“Oh would you two quit groaning?” Bobby said. “We wore matching outfits completely by accident. It was bound to happen one day, we only have so many clothes.” He grinned when Hanbin linked his arms around him. The day was already off to a good start. The weather was perfect and Hanbin was being cute.

“Bullshit, you planned it. You're already embarrassing us, you don't have to lie to us too.” Jinhwan joked.

“I'm serious! This was not intentional, was it Bin-ah?” Bobby asked him, smiling when Hanbin kissed him suddenly before turning to face the other two.

“It was intentional,” Hanbin said, “it was my idea.”

“I knew it!” Jinhwan replied, shaking his head and staring at Bobby. “You're so whipped.”

Bobby grinned back at him before looking at Hanbin and patting his cheek. “Have you seen this face? I can't say no to it.”

Jinhwan shook his head. “Disgusting.”

“We don't need to go to the haunted house today, this is terrifying enough.” Junhoe added.  
  
Hanbin grinned back at him. “Don't be jealous.” He cast a conspiratorial grin at Jinhwan. “Junhoe and I used to wear matching outfits all the time.”  
  
Junhoe huffed in outrage at Hanbin's comment. “When we were kids!”  
  
“Our moms used to go shopping together.”  
  
“No they didn't, don't listen to him, he's a liar.” Junhoe looked at Jinhwan and shook his head. Jinhwan was laughing, though, amused at the idea of them in matching outfits as kids.  
  
Jinhwan shook his head disapprovingly at Junhoe. “The only liar here right now is probably you. Hanbin wouldn't lie about something like that.”  
  
“Hanbin lies about everything, it's in his nature.” Junhoe couldn't help but carry on.  
  
It was Hanbin's turn to play at being offended. “I can't believe you'd say that about me. If I'd known you'd be this upset I would have suggested that you and Jinhwan coordinate your outfits today too.”  
  
“Only couples twin their outfits, Hanbin, and we're not a couple.” Jinhwan replied back with a smile, amused that he was still trying to make it happen.  
  
“Yet. We'll make sure we do all the romantic rides today, might stir up some feelings.”  
  
Junhoe reached over and lightly smacked him in the face. “Stop talking bullshit, Hanbin.”  
  
Hanbin just grinned back. “I just think you two would be much happier if you had someone special in your lives.”  
  
Jinhwan winked at Hanbin before replying. “I think we're plenty happy with things the way they are currently, aren't we Junhoe-ya?”  
  
Junhoe grinned back. “Never been happier, except when I don't have to be around these two idiots.”  
  
Hanbin narrowed his eyes and looked quickly between the two of them, like he was piecing something together in his head. Luckily Jinhwan and Junhoe were saved by Bobby.  
  
“Come on, Bin, leave the future love birds alone for now.” He grabbed Hanbin's hand and pulled him towards the ticket window. They got in line at the stall behind a few families with young children. Before purchasing tickets for admission, young kids were measured to ensure they met height requirements for rides. Junhoe watched the kids being measured before looking at Jinhwan with a gleam in his eye.  
  
“Guys, I think we should get Jinan hyung measured to make sure he's tall enough for the roller coasters.” Junhoe teased, grinning at Jinhwan's look of betrayal.

Hanbin rounded on them with an ecstatic grin. “Brilliant idea! You can never be too safe, after all.”

“Excuse me?” Jinhwan complained, looking between them before staring at Bobby. “Can you believe these kids?”

Bobby, however, just grinned back at him before turning to the security guard. “Excuse me, do you mind if we take a picture of our small friend here with the height chart?” He motioned at Jinhwan, who surged forward and playfully hit him.

The security guard was on their side, though. “I already had my eye on him.” He looked at Jinhwan and waved him through. “If you wouldn't mind, please? This is standard procedure for smaller guests at the park. We’re committed to your safety.”

Jinhwan shook his head but went for it. “I can't believe you guys!” He complained, “you're all dead.”

“Hey, we're just looking out for you, hyung.” Junhoe replied, grinning ear to ear as he watched Jinhwan be led to the height chart.

Jinhwan pointed back at him. “You—dead.” He pointed at Bobby next. “You—also dead.” A finger for Hanbin. “You were already under a death sentence for your matching outfits, but now you're dead again.” The security guard smiled as he set him up against the wall. Jinhwan looked at him next. “I hope this was worth it, cause you're dead too.”

“Are you threatening park security?” Junhoe asked, laughing as he watched the security guard pose along with Jinhwan for Bobby's phone camera.

Jinhwan frowned at them before crouching down so he appeared shorter than the allowed limit. If they were going to do this, he wanted a funny picture, at least. The security guard hammed it up for the camera as well. He checked the picture before getting back in line.

“Hey, you forgot your wrist band!” The security guard called to Jinhwan, holding up a neon green wrist band they used for the kids to show what height level requirement they met.

Jinhwan willingly held out his arm and let the security guard attach it. It was probably a crappy job, and the guy seemed to be enjoying their joking around. Jinhwan couldn't blame him.

“Ah look at that, it's green!” Junhoe remarked, and Jinhwan looked at him with raised eyebrows.

“Why does it matter that it's green?”

Junhoe just grinned back at him. “Peas are green.”  
  
Jinhwan shook his head, the memory of that night coming back at Junhoe’s mention. They’d barely been acting civil towards one another back then, brought together by Hanbyul and her face painting. Of course it had all been topped off by their live action rendition of The Princess and The Pea—Jinhwan had been the pea.

They rode the escalator up to the top floor of the park, entering through the main gates. Hanbin stopped to grab a park map so they could better plan out their day.  
  
“Can we start out with something I can actually ride?” Junhoe asked, standing beside him and looking over his shoulder.

Hanbin looked at the area near them. “The laser shooting rides are around here, why don't we start out with those? Dragons Wild Shooting!” Hanbin grinned excitedly at Junhoe. “I remember the last time we were here, like seven years ago? We played that together. Spent more time pretending to shoot each other.”

Junhoe grinned back at him. “Yeah, because you were going through a dragon phase at the time and didn't want to shoot at them.”

“Are you serious? Hanbin had a dragon phase? That's so cute,” Jinhwan replied, “extremely dorky, but still cute.”

“Oh Hanbin was a huge dork when we were kids,” Junhoe began, grinning when Hanbin frowned, “I'm not even exaggerating, you'd be shocked.”

“I matured too quickly for my peer group,” Hanbin started saying, but they all knew he was bullshitting.

“We were probably all dorks,” Bobby said, “I used to bring my old Winnie the Pooh plush toy to school with me.”

“You what?” Hanbin wasn't really surprised to hear it, but it was cute.

“He wouldn't just bring it to school,” Jinhwan interrupted, “when we'd be in class he'd sit it at the top of his bag and keep the flap open so it could breathe.”

All four of them burst into laughter at the story, and Bobby didn't even mind Jinhwan going that extra level. They made their way to the dragon shooting game, getting in the small line up. The cars for the ride allowed for groups of four to go together, so Bobby and Hanbin sat in the front, while Jinhwan and Junhoe sat behind them.

“Are we playing this individually or in teams?” Hanbin asked, looking over his shoulder at the other two.

“Oh are we being competitive?” Jinhwan asked.

“Of course!” Hanbin replied, like it was a dumb question.

“Loser buys lunch!” Junhoe said, before picking his laser gun up.

“Those are fair terms. Teams?” Hanbin eyed Junhoe, who nodded at him. “Okay it's me and Junhoe against the two old guys.”

Bobby looked at Hanbin in shock. “We're competing?”

Hanbin grinned back at him. “Yeah, we are on a date, after all, you should buy me lunch anyway. Just making a sport of it.”

Bobby shook his head and looked back at Jinhwan. “This entitled little brat, can you believe him?” Bobby picked up his gun and looked at Hanbin. “Prepare to be destroyed.”

“No chance! Time for Herbivore Hanbin and Jurassic Junhoe to stomp all over these dragons!” Hanbin exclaimed just as the ride started, taking advantage of Bobby's momentary lapse of concentration (because he was too busy laughing) and scoring the opening points.

“Ah, you cheater!” Bobby shouldered Hanbin into the side of the cart, trying to block his angle.

Things weren't any better in the back seat.

“Junhoe-ya! Don't make me lock a choke hold on you, I swear I will!” Jinhwan yelled before unbuckling his belt and standing up in the cart. Junhoe had managed to wrestle Jinhwan’s gun away and was holding it up over his head while shooting with his own. The ride was very slow and moved on a simple track, so Jinhwan wasn't concerned about falling out.

Jinhwan practically straddled Junhoe's lap, climbing over him to reach his long outstretched arm and prying his gun out of Junhoe's fingers. As soon as he got it back he started shooting the targets, all while trying to physically block Junhoe's view. Junhoe wrestled him back into the seat, leaning over him so he was pressed uncomfortably into the side.  
  
It was fun and exciting, being so physical with each other with Hanbin and Bobby just in front of them. Maybe it was a little risky, but then again they were being competitive, so Junhoe could easily explain it away if Hanbin happened to focus on them instead of the game.

In the front seat Hanbin was alternating between shooting and distracting Bobby. At first it had started out innocent, just pulling his arm away any time he tried to shoot. But when Bobby got good at blocking him, Hanbin resorted to dirtier tactics. He leaned in against Bobby when there was a short break after they'd shot all the targets in the room.

“You're so good at this, oppa,” Hanbin whispered against Bobby's neck, “it’s so hot.”

Bobby grinned and tried to shove him away with his shoulder. “Oh no, you are not distracting me!”

“Famous last words.” Hanbin teased before slipping his hand inside Bobby's jeans.

“Hanbin!” Bobby yelled, falling for it and looking down just as they got into a new room. “Get your hand out of my pants!”

Bobby's yell had Junhoe and Jinhwan cracking up, so only Hanbin was currently shooting at anything.

Jinhwan recovered and leaned over, smacking Hanbin in the head. “Dirty tactics! That should be an illegal move!”

“All's fair in Dragons Wild Shooting!” Hanbin replied, ducking from another attack from Jinhwan.

“Oh shit guys sit down, it's about to take our picture!” Junhoe yelled, but not soon enough. There was a telltale bright flash, and during the flash Jinhwan was leaning forward, brandishing his gun at Hanbin.

“Oh god I hope you don't get us kicked out,” Junhoe said with a laugh as Jinhwan collapsed back into his seat, clutching at his stomach and wheezing from laughing so much. The ride was at its end now, and they were all in similar states.

“Was it worth it, Hanbin?” Jinhwan asked, shaking his head as he tallied their final scores. Hanbin and Junhoe had come out victorious.

Hanbin grinned back at him as he holstered his gun. “Every single second of it.” They got to the end and exited their car, still laughing over their own stupid antics. They approached the photo booth to find their picture. It was every bit as wonderful as it could have been. Hanbin and Jinhwan's mid-ride fight was captured perfectly, as was Junhoe's concerned shouting and flailing hands. Bobby was in the front shooting at the dragon targets, but the expression on his face had him looking like the village idiot.

Hanbin bought the picture.

* * *

  
An hour later found them outside, enjoying the last weekend of abnormally warm October weather. They’d somehow managed to get Junhoe to agree to ride the Comet Express, a roller coaster with seats that spun as they navigated the track. It had a space theme.  
  
“Junhoe-ya, can’t wait to travel to Uranus.” Jinhwan couldn’t help but joke, nudging him as they stood in line.  
  
“I can’t believe you’re making the Uranus joke,” Bobby complained, “I thought we were all better than that.”  
  
“What’s wrong, hyung? Got some deep space probe circling around Uranus?” Junhoe teased back, and the look of surprise on Bobby’s face was worth saying it.  
  
It was gone in a second, though. “There is nothing approaching my, uh, Uranus.” Bobby couldn’t help but blush as he made the comment, and he couldn’t believe that Junhoe, of all people, had him blushing.  
  
“Not even Hanbin’s Deep Space Nine?” Jinhwan teased, pouncing on the topic when he saw the blush on Bobby’s cheeks.  
  
“Let’s not get carried away, hyung,” Hanbin interrupted, “I’m a modest guy. It’s more like Deep Space Six?”  
  
“Better than Jinan’s Deep Space Two.” Bobby fired back, trying to ignore the mild embarrassment.  
  
“It’s extendable!” Jinhwan replied, staring at Bobby with an expression that was all challenge. He knew for a _fact_ that he had a longer dick than Bobby did. Not that Bobby was tiny or anything. But Jinhwan was bigger.  
  
“Is it attached to a pair of dwarf planets?” Hanbin asked, and they all couldn’t stop themselves from giggling. It only got worse when an older woman in line behind them glared at them.  
  
They boarded the ride then, Hanbin and Bobby at the back, Jinhwan and Junhoe right in front of them. Junhoe took a deep breath when he sat down, his nerves eating away at his stomach. He’d been kind of okay in line (mostly because they'd been joking and he’d forbidden himself from facing the coaster and watching it) but now that they were here, and he was being strapped in? He tried to keep his breathing calm, but he was having a tough time.  
  
Jinhwan looked over at him after he finished buckling himself in. “Excited?”  
  
Junhoe, who’d been faking just how nervous he was until now, couldn’t really fake it any longer. “I’m not sure excited is the word I’d use.”  
  
Jinhwan heard the nerves in his voice and his demeanour changed suddenly. “It’s not really motion sickness, is it?”  
  
But Junhoe’s pride got in the way of admission. “It’s totally motion sickness, you’ll know that when I throw up all over you.”  
  
Jinhwan grinned but took his hand, squeezing it tightly. “It’ll be fine, I’m not afraid of you _throwing up_ today.”  
  
Junhoe hated how comforting the hand holding was, and he hated himself for squeezing back. “You say that now, but I had bindaetteok for breakfast and it was really garlicky.”  
  
Jinhwan had to bite back the laughter. Junhoe was trying, and he thought it was cute. He’d try his hardest not to stomp all over his pride. “Then please try and puke over the side. Maybe if we’re lucky it’ll get all over those two idiots behind us. Karma for the couple outfit.”

Junhoe forced himself to laugh at that and ignored that he was still clinging to Jinhwan’s hand. He’d get through the ride.  
  
He hoped.  


* * *

  
Hanbin was only barely better than Junhoe.  
  
Despite being terrified of roller coasters as a child, he’d talked himself into being excited for them now. There was no reason why he should be afraid. He was in far more danger of being knocked out during a boxing match than he was of being thrown out of a roller coaster, and boxing didn’t scare him at all.  
  
Little kids did these rides, after all. He couldn’t let some kids half his age show him up.  
  
But as he let the ride attendant check his lap harness (of _course_ the first coaster they did only had lap harnesses and not full body ones) he could feel goosebumps on his skin already. He turned his head to look at Bobby, dismayed to find Bobby sporting an excited grin.  
  
Bobby was going to think he was a huge dork for being nervous, wasn’t he? Should he try to salvage a bit of his pride and pretend he was excited, or should he just suck it up and admit his fear? Bobby would probably think it was cute, wouldn’t he? Would he find it endearing?  
  
“Bin-ah, are you okay?”  
  
Bobby’s voice brought him back to reality and Hanbin frowned at him. He couldn’t fake it. He was a terrible liar.  
  
“No, not really.”  
  
Bobby smiled and shifted in his seat a little, looping his arm around Hanbin’s shoulders. “Are you seriously telling me that after teasing Junhoe all morning, you’re actually afraid too?”  
  
Hanbin’s frown became even more pronounced. “I _was_ fine. Now I’m not fine.” The one good thing about this ride that he hadn’t thought about was that he was able to sit as close to Bobby as possible, and even though his nerves were still gnawing at his stomach, at least Bobby’s arm around his shoulder calmed him a little.  
  
“I can’t believe this,” Bobby chided, taking Hanbin’s snapback off so he could press a kiss into his hair. “I can’t believe you’re afraid of roller coasters.”  
  
“I’m not afraid,” Hanbin replied, “just slightly nervous.”  
  
“Okay babe, whatever you say.” Bobby chuckled in response.  
  
“I haven’t been on one in like, seven years, at least? I’m sure I’ll be fine after.”  
  
“I’m sure you will be too.”  
  
“It’s just cause it’s the first one in a long time!”  
  
“Whatever you say.” Bobby kissed him again, outstretched fingers rubbing Hanbin’s cheek.  
  
The ride jolted to life then and Hanbin couldn’t stop the whine before it came out of his throat. He honestly hadn’t thought he’d be this bad.  
  
Bobby grinned and tightened his arm again before turning Hanbin’s face towards him. He’d wanted to kiss him, but the look of abject terror on Hanbin’s face only made him laugh instead. Hanbin couldn’t even respond in anger, he just slid his own arm around Bobby’s front and cuddled into him. Bobby managed to calm the laughter long enough to get that kiss, taking advantage of the long dark tunnel they’d entered.  
  
Hanbin kissed back like his life depended on it, like he needed the distraction. But once they cleared it and came out in the brightly lit tunnel full of cheesy planets and constellations they pulled apart and a second later is when the seats started spinning.  


* * *

  
When they got off the ride both Hanbin and Junhoe could barely stand upright without help. Hanbin clung to Bobby, face pressed into Bobby’s shoulder and arms encircling him. Junhoe walked with an arm around Jinhwan and a hand on the railing, and he begged to sit down for a moment until they stopped spinning.  
  
They sat on the steps, Jinhwan next to Junhoe. He’d whined and swore the entire time and Jinhwan had thought it was hilarious. Even though he’d laughed, he’d held on to Junhoe’s hand until the very end. He could be sympathetic and amused at the same time.  
  
“You survived, though! You should be happy about that.”  
  
Junhoe groaned and leaned his head against the railing. “I might still throw up, don’t tempt me.”  
  
“Don’t look at Hanbin and Bobby, then,” Jinhwan replied. Hanbin was sitting on Bobby’s lap, face tucked into Bobby’s neck. Bobby was grinning from ear to ear, clearly enjoying the moment. It was a bit much for Jinhwan, though. Sometimes they were cute, and sometimes they were gross.  
  
A disgusted huff next to him told him that Junhoe clearly agreed. “They really are disgusting.” Junhoe watched them for a moment. It actually felt a little weird, seeing Hanbin like this. He wasn’t sure if Hanbin was just doing it as an excuse to be close to Bobby or not. It didn’t matter, though. Hanbin was happy. So Junhoe was happy.  
  
“Just revolting,” Jinhwan agreed, giving Junhoe a sidelong glance. He wondered what they would be like, if they were dating. Could he get away with being clingy with Junhoe in a situation like this? Junhoe wasn’t anywhere near as physical as Hanbin was, while Jinhwan liked being clingy. Junhoe might fight it, but in the end he was sure he’d get his way. Junhoe kept giving in to him as it was now, after all, and Jinhwan prided himself on his powers of persuasion.  
  
They went on Atlantis next, a log flume ride that Bobby made Hanbin sit up front on. Hanbin tried to talk himself up for it, saying that it couldn’t possibly be that bad. Except for the whole getting wet from the water spray part, of course. But it was sunny out and there was another outdoor coaster they were planning to do, so they’d have ample time to dry off.  
  
Junhoe wasn’t eager to do this one, but he did watch it first with Jinhwan to see exactly what happened. It wasn’t as bad as Comet Express had been, at least. The seats didn’t swivel. While they stood in line and crept closer he could feel his nerves kicking back up. Maybe he’d just sit it out when they got up to the front.  
  
But Jinhwan grabbed his hand again when the other two weren’t looking, squeezing it reassuringly and smiling at him. Junhoe wasn’t sure if the butterflies in his stomach were from pre-ride nerves or Jinhwan being so close. He squeezed back, though. He needed every bit of reassurance he could get.  
  
Like their previous ride they sat two to a seat and there was only a lap belt again so they had more freedom of movement. Hanbin slid in under Bobby’s arm again, head tucked into his neck. Once again Junhoe felt weird seeing him be so _soft_. He was used to a tough, dominant Hanbin, one who would never admit to anything akin to a weakness. It was like he turned into a different person around Bobby. Maybe it was just the roller coasters, though.  
  
Jinhwan slid in close to Junhoe, hand laid on Junhoe’s thigh. He squeezed his leg and leaned against him, not really concerned about Hanbin or Bobby turning around. They were in their own little world, so Jinhwan wanted to take advantage of it. He looked up at Junhoe, watched as his lips settled into a nervous frown. Jinhwan was dying to kiss him, there was just something about that look on his face that made him so endearing in the moment.  
  
Bad idea, though. That would only send the wrong message, and he was already pushing it by being so cuddly. But he could easily blame that on trying to be comforting to Junhoe in his distress.  
  
The coaster zipped in and out of the mountain, patches of bright daylight interlaced with darkness in the tunnel. During one of those dark stretches Jinhwan couldn’t help but grope Junhoe, just to see what sort of reaction he’d get. Junhoe yelled at him, and once they got out into the daylight again Jinhwan winked at him before throwing his arms up in the air and yelling.  
  
They were all laughing by the end, even Junhoe, though the laughter was half legit and half just a coping mechanism for rattled nerves. He had shaky legs when he got off the ride. It wasn’t as bad as the first one had been, but it still hadn't exactly been enjoyable. He didn't need to put his arm around Jinhwan this time, but Jinhwan still reached out for him anyway.  
  
Fuck it. He _liked_ having his arm around Jinhwan, so why not just use his shaken nerves as an excuse?  
  
Hanbin was too busy grumbling to really pay attention to Jinhwan and Junhoe anyway.  
  
“Why did they keep the water on? It’s October, they should turn it off.”  
  
Bobby pulled him close and pressed a kiss to his lips to shut him up.  
  
“Why are you so cute when you're whiny?” Bobby teased him, nuzzling his nose against Hanbin's cheek.

“I am not cute,” Hanbin whined, “I'm wet.”

“Didn't know coasters got you that excited, Bin-ah.” Jinhwan teased from behind him, unable to help himself. Hanbin looked at him from over his shoulder, glaring until he saw that Junhoe’s arm was around Jinhwan’s shoulder.  
  
“Told you it would turn into a legit double date.” Hanbin smugly replied, eyes on Junhoe’s face. He was actually blushing.  
  
“Mind your own business, Hanbin,” Jinhwan chided, not letting Junhoe pull away. It would just look suspect. They got in line for the third ride they planned to do, Gyro Drop. Junhoe was staunchly refusing to do this one. By this point he’d stopped denying that he was afraid (not that he’d _admitted_ it either, but now he was just ignoring the comments altogether) and was complaining that he just felt a little queasy after the first two rides and that it would be better for everyone involved if he just refrained.  
  
They let him off the hook in the end.  


* * *

They hung around outside for a bit after Gyro Drop while they dried off, buying snacks and sitting in the grass under the sun.

“Should we do one more before lunch?” Bobby asked, studying Hanbin's map. “Oh, we could do Adventures of Sindbad! It's close to the entrance.”

“Is that one of those long ten minute ones, where it's pretty much just telling a story?” Jinhwan asked. He wasn't really in the mood for one of those.

“Yeah, and it's really dark, too.” Bobby replied, grinning at Hanbin.

“Ah, thrills of a different kind for this ride, then?” Hanbin teased.

Jinhwan shook his head before looking at Junhoe. “I don't think I'm going to bother with this one, I've already done it before.” While it would be the perfect opportunity to make out with Junhoe, they wouldn't be able to do it without being in view of Hanbin and Bobby. Jinhwan couldn't take that chance, not after being cuddly with Junhoe all morning.

Junhoe didn't feel like it either, though he wasn't even thinking of making out. He just wanted to sit down for a little while longer. “Let's sit this one out, then. Let the idiots go on it alone, have some privacy.”

“Are you sure? A lot can happen in the dark in ten minutes.” Hanbin teased, before Bobby pulled him away.

“I'm sorry, I'll get him out of your hair.” Bobby joked. “Don't wander far, kids.”

“We'll stay right here and wait for you.” Jinhwan replied with a smile, watching as they disappeared into the line for the story ride. Then he looked at Junhoe. “Judging by that line, they should be at least twenty minutes. Let's go find somewhere to sit for a while?”

Junhoe nodded and followed Jinhwan, eventually finding a bench in the area. They sat down and Junhoe stretched his legs out, glad for the chance to take a break. He was honestly still a little messed up from the spinning ride earlier.

“How are you holding up so far?” Jinhwan asked him.

“Okay,” Junhoe replied, surprised at the serious question in Jinhwan's eyes as he looked him over.

“Are you sure? That motion sickness not still bothering you?” Jinhwan's question was honest. He was having a great time, but he wanted to make sure they weren't putting Junhoe through more than he could handle.

“Yeah, I'm alright. Probably shouldn't do any more rides that spin a lot, that really fucked me up.”

Jinhwan grinned and patted his leg. “Yeah, that was a bit much. You took it well, though.”

“Hey, I take things well all the time.”

“Oh, are you saying that you like taking it, then?” Jinhwan teased, leaning into Junhoe and leering at him. Junhoe laughed and shook his head, but he didn't push him away.

It was comfortable, sitting like this with Jinhwan. He enjoyed the teasing and the jokes, was finding it a little easier to look Jinhwan in the face and not immediately think about Jinhwan's mouth around his dick.

The image still crept into his head anyway, but it wasn't the first thing he thought of anymore.

* * *

Bobby grabbed the last boat in the ride for maximum privacy. He still remembered the first time he'd gone on the ride, back when he'd brought a girl here. It really should have been obvious to him then that he wasn't straight. They were fifteen, and while she'd tried to make out with him, he'd actually brushed her off and tried to pay attention to the story.

He had zero intentions of paying attention to anything except Hanbin this time around. He wondered if Hanbin would let him, though, or if he'd be too uncomfortable since they were in a public spot? But it was dark in the ride, the entire ten minutes of it was spent in a boat going down a dark tunnel, the only light coming from the glow of the mechanized scenery. The ride did tell the story of Sindbad, but it was loud and bright enough to make sure that no one would concern themselves with checking on the people at the end of the line.

They sat down in the boat and once inside Bobby put his arm around Hanbin and pulled him closer. Hanbin went willingly to him, leaning against his chest and pressing a quick little kiss to his neck.

Bobby had high hopes.

As soon as the ride got started Bobby went to work, starting out innocently enough, taking Hanbin's snapback off so he could run his fingers through his hair. Hanbin let out a little contented sigh at the action and Bobby was pretty sure he'd probably manage to get whatever he wanted. He brushed his fingers over Hanbin's cheek, all the way down to his chin, using two fingers to pull his face around. Then he went for the kiss, and Hanbin kissed him right back, eager and willing.

Bobby didn't waste any time after that, because the ride was only ten minutes and they'd already been going for one of them. He dropped his hand lower, fingers deftly pulling at Hanbin's belt. Hanbin paused in his kiss, gasping when Bobby's hand slipped underneath his jeans.

“Don't think I've forgotten what you pulled in the Dragon game,” Bobby whispered in his ear, “you started something that I intend to finish.”

Hanbin grinned and was surprised at his own willingness to keep going. Maybe it was the darkness, giving him nerve to not stop Bobby. Maybe it was just the excitement of the day. Whatever it was, though, he wanted it.

Bobby's fingers traced over the shape of Hanbin's erection through his underwear, pleased when he got another gasp out of him. Luckily the sound of the motor, coupled with the voices of the show over the loudspeaker, were more than enough to ensure no one else could hear anything from them. Bobby couldn't believe Hanbin was letting him do it, couldn't believe Hanbin was so turned on already. He hadn't even really done anything.

Hanbin whined at Bobby's teasing touch and he curled his hand over Bobby's, digging Bobby’s fingers in and around him. He wanted Bobby to know that he actually _wanted_ him to keep going, wanted him to do whatever it was that he had in mind. If a park at night was good enough, why not do it here, too?

Bobby grinned when he felt Hanbin's hand settle over his. He ran through his options, because now that he had Hanbin here like this, he needed to follow through. Should he just jerk him off, or give him a blow job? Or tease him and not actually finish him at all?

He looked at Hanbin's face, currently lit in a soft blue glow from the lights. Hanbin's eyes met his, and Bobby kissed him again quickly before speaking. “What do you want, babe? Hand job or blow job?”

Even though it was obvious that that had been Bobby's intention, Hanbin was still surprised at the question. Almost felt a little shy in answering. Was he really going to let Bobby do this? Here, on a ride at Lotte World?

“I want both,” Hanbin said, grinning when Bobby cocked his head in confusion, “I want to kiss you for a while.”

Bobby got it. “I won't complain about that.” He brushed lips over Hanbin's again, tongue probing as he used both hands to tug just slightly at Hanbin's pants, pulling them down just enough in the front for Bobby to pull Hanbin's dick out. Hanbin gasped again at the move, and Bobby kept his hand fisted around Hanbin's dick, his grip tight. He didn't take it slow, pumping Hanbin hard. They continued kissing but Hanbin was clearly preoccupied with Bobby's hand, always breaking the kiss to cry out quietly at Bobby's moves.

Bobby's free hand wound in Hanbin's hair, pulling on it slightly and exposing his neck. He glanced from Hanbin's face to his lap, grinning when he saw his own hand wrapped tight around Hanbin. This was ridiculously hot—not just that they were doing it, but that Hanbin was actually letting him. Hanbin was into it.

Of course he'd always known that Hanbin wanted to be intimate with him, but today was just something different. Hanbin was actively into it. Groping him on the first ride, not fighting this one at all.

Bobby leaned down quickly and swallowed Hanbin into his mouth. Hanbin's hand immediately latched onto the back of his neck, and Bobby felt smug when Hanbin actually bucked up into his face. He was just doing it now to coat Hanbin's dick, though, not wanting to handle much more without any kind of lubrication. He pulled up once it was wet enough and immediately wrapped his fingers around it again, jerking so hard he almost made Hanbin yell. But he kissed him instead, aggressively shoved his tongue into Hanbin's mouth and leaned into him.

Bobby had no idea how much time was left, hadn't been paying attention to his watch at all. He couldn't remember how the story went either. He had to finish Hanbin off, though, couldn't run the risk of leaving him hard and in need of release when the ride ended. That would be counter productive.

He pulled away from Hanbin's mouth and spoke into his ear. “I don't know how much time we have left, babe, so you're going to cum in my mouth right now, understood?”

Hanbin didn't speak, he just whined and nodded and Bobby thought it was the hottest thing in the world. “I mean it. As soon as you're in my mouth, you better cum.” Hanbin nodded again, breathless with anticipation, and Bobby grinned at him before leaning down and swallowing him again. A few pumps of the fist later and Bobby could taste it on his tongue. Hanbin's hands were clenching at his hoodie, fingers locked in a death grip. Bobby swallowed it all and stayed where he was for a moment, sucking softly until he felt Hanbin relax against the backrest. Then he reluctantly pulled away, tucking Hanbin back into his pants and doing them up.

He looked down at him, grinning when he saw Hanbin laying back with his eyes closed. Bobby felt so sure of his feelings in that moment, so sure that this was exactly what he wanted for life. He wanted to be the person making Hanbin feel amazing. He wanted to be the one making him smile.

Bobby looked around then, concentrating briefly on the story. There was obviously still a bit of it left, so he leaned back into the boat and pulled Hanbin into his arms. Hanbin leaned against him, head resting on Bobby's chest and arms wrapping around his back.

Bobby's whole body was full of warmth. He just wanted to keep Hanbin like this, happy and sated and _his._ He combed his fingers through Hanbin's hair again, which made Hanbin sigh. Bobby thought it was one of the best sounds in the world.

The ride ended roughly two minutes later, and Bobby couldn't believe how quickly he'd gotten Hanbin off. He hoped he wouldn't freak out about it later. He didn't want to get up from the boat, wanted to stay here all afternoon, cuddled with Hanbin. But Jinhwan and Junhoe were waiting, and he was actually quite hungry already.

So he shook Hanbin awake, amused at how out of it he seemed. Had it been that good, really?

Hanbin was clingy and giggly as they made their way off the ride, and Bobby knew that the others would probably know right away what they'd done. As they approached where they were sitting on a bench, Hanbin wrapped around him, Bobby could see the look of disbelief on Jinhwan's face.

“What the fuck did you do? Give him a blow job?” Jinhwan asked as they got closer.

Bobby grinned and shrugged, arm still tight around Hanbin, who giggled at the question.

Jinhwan stared at them for a moment. “You actually did. You blew him on Adventures of Sindbad. Unbelievable.” Jinhwan shook his head. “Even though by all rights I should have no appetite anymore after the two of you being disgusting, somehow I’m still starving. Can we go get lunch?” Jinhwan whined, leaning his head on Junhoe’s shoulder and staring up at Bobby.

“I’m good, I just ate.” Bobby couldn’t resist the jab, and he was especially pleased with it when Hanbin started giggling and Jinhwan yelled. Junhoe just closed his eyes and looked like he was in pain, and that made Bobby laugh.

“Kim Jiwon, I’m telling your mother about your behaviour!” Jinhwan complained before standing up and punching Bobby in the arm. “Just for that comment you can buy my lunch too.”

“Oh no, no chance!” Bobby said. “We both lost, so you’re helping me pay for lunch.”

“I shouldn’t have to, my final score was higher than yours after all.” Jinhwan whined again, and as they made their way to the mall’s food court, Jinhwan walked next to Bobby and even linked his arm with him as they bickered. Bobby didn’t mind, his spirits too high after his bit of privacy with Hanbin.

Junhoe walked next to Hanbin, not nearly as weirded out at the thought of what Hanbin and Bobby had done on the ride as he would have been prior to his own experiences with Jinhwan. He could still pretend, of course, but he was surprised to find that he was actually a little jealous. He thought he deserved a blow job just for coming today, since he hated rides so much. Wondered if he would have gotten one had they gone on the ride too.

The park was connected to a huge shopping complex that housed a large food court with more options than the park itself, and that’s where they went to eat. They all decided on Mr. Pork, opting for some donkatsu. They sat down together, Bobby and Hanbin on one side of the booth, Junhoe and Jinhwan on the other.

Hanbin couldn’t help but notice how close together Jinhwan was sitting to Junhoe, hadn’t failed to notice how easily Jinhwan had leaned his head on Junhoe’s shoulder earlier. The most telling part, though, is that Junhoe hadn’t even flinched. Like he’d been expecting it. Like it happened often.

“So, how’s everyone enjoying their date?” Hanbin asked, grinning as he stared across at the two.

“Well clearly we’re failing at our attempts to be good chaperones for the two of you.” Jinhwan replied with a wink.

“Yeah, just what were you doing that was so important anyway, that you decided not to accompany us on the ride?” Bobby added.

“Nothing, actually. We were boring old people, who just sat on a bench being boring while waiting for the kids we were babysitting to finish with their tunnel of love.” Jinhwan retorted.

“You forgot good looking,” Junhoe replied, “good looking old people.”

“Are you saying that we’re not good looking?” Bobby asked, frowning at Junhoe.

“I’m just saying, if you compared the teams, I think we’d come out on top.” Junhoe replied, looking at Jinhwan for support. Jinhwan was grinning.

Bobby shook his head. “Here’s a little something you should know about me, Junhoe-ya,” Bobby began, “I always come out on top.”

They all laughed at the comment, even Junhoe. Jinhwan was the first to regain his composure. “That sounds more like a warning for Hanbin, actually.”

Hanbin looked at Bobby and laughed again, and he hoped he wasn’t blushing at the topic. Innuendos were fun and all, but they were out in public. He hoped no one would complain.

“Hanbin doesn’t need a warning, he knows his place.” Bobby teased. He didn’t mean it, of course, and he hoped Hanbin wouldn’t take it the wrong way.

Hanbin looked up at him in shock, narrowing his eyes slightly. Bobby was all smiles though, so he was pretty sure he’d meant it as a joke. They had to be united against the other two, so he’d play along. “And my place is right here,” he replied, cuddling against Bobby and wrapping arms around him in an overt showing of affection that made Jinhwan and Junhoe yell at him. Bobby actually blushed just a bit before his smile turned into a smug grin.

“See? You guys might think that I’m whipped for Hanbin, but it’s really the other way around.” Bobby teased.

“Yeah you can see it in the way he looks at you,” Junhoe cut in, grinning at the pair of them. They looked confused, and he knew they were questioning why he seemed to be supporting their point. He looked at Jinhwan then, a touch of mirth in his eyes. “Hanbin looks at Bobby like he’s the sun in his sky.”

Jinhwan made a face at him. “Ew, don’t be disgusting, and don’t be on their side!”

Junhoe just grinned back at him though. “No, I mean he has to squint because it’s physically painful to look at him.”

They were all laughing again except Bobby, who glared at Junhoe, disbelief on his face. “I can’t believe you’d say something so rude!”

“Rude but hilarious!” Jinhwan stated gleefully.

Junhoe shrugged. “I only speak the truth.”

Hanbin was still giggling, and Bobby turned his disappointed face on him. “Why are you laughing?”

Hanbin shook his head and took a sip of his drink to get himself under control. “No, listen, speaking of the sun--”

Junhoe’s face immediately blanched and he shook his head. “No, come on, Bin, don’t be that mean.”

Hanbin had a grin like a predator, though, before looking back at Bobby. “This’ll make you feel better, I promise,” he said, before looking back at Junhoe.

“Hanbin, seriously, this is crossing a line.” Junhoe was blushing already, which had Bobby and Jinhwan both sitting forward, waiting for whatever Hanbin was about to reveal.

“Did you guys know that Junhoe used to think that the sun and the moon were one and the same?” Junhoe dropped his head into his hands, even though Hanbin could see that he was still grinning.

“What? Seriously?” Jinhwan asked, looking between the two of them.

“Yeah, he thought the sun turned into the moon at night, and then turned back into the sun when the morning came.” Hanbin kicked Junhoe’s leg lightly under the table, wanting him to look up, but Junhoe refused.

“That’s actually really adorable,” Jinhwan replied, but he didn’t get the full scope of the story.

Hanbin grinned at him. “Yeah it would be adorable, if he’d thought that as a kid.” He paused and kicked Junhoe again, who finally looked up at him, look of resignation on his face. “But he thought that until _last year.”_

They all burst into laughter then (even Junhoe) and they didn’t stop laughing about it until their food came. Junhoe didn’t bother trying to explain, because sometimes there was no explanation that wasn’t just going to dig yourself into a deeper hole.

* * *

After lunch they hung around the main square, coming back into the park just in time for the Halloween parade. They settled on a bench to watch the procession, laughing over the dorky costumes and floats. After that they decided to concentrate on the Halloween attractions for the afternoon, since Junhoe didn’t want to do any more rides so soon after eating. They decided on the Zombie Nightmare first, which was a slow moving train that started out going through a Christmas Village with creepy clownish music.

Nothing happened until two minutes in, when they went through a huge clown’s mouth into a dark tunnel. Hanbin and Bobby sat at the front and just as Hanbin whined about hating jump scares someone popped up out of the mist at him, made up like a zombie. He yelled and clung to Bobby, who got freaked out by it too but pretended to be okay.

Junhoe and Jinhwan laughed behind them, not in the direct line of fire. Junhoe far preferred this, sitting back and laughing at Hanbin. There were more zombie people that showed up as the train went on, and Hanbin hated every one of them, at one point turning around and yelling at them that he wasn’t afraid, he just hated being surprised.

No one believed him.

* * *

  
Jinhwan was the instigator for doing the haunted house.

“Can I sit this one out?” Hanbin complained, because he'd had enough of the jump scares on the train ride.

“No chance, it's Halloween soon, don't be a spoil sport!” Jinhwan teased him.

“Did you hear him screaming on the zombie train? What a wimp.” Junhoe joined in the teasing too, even though he was worse at haunted houses than Hanbin. No one needed to know that, though. He'd been lucky on the zombie train. Hanbin and Bobby had gotten the brunt of the surprises, so he hadn't had too many opportunities to freak out. This might prove to be different though.

Bobby put his arm around Hanbin's shoulders. “Don't worry, baby, I'll protect you.”

“Oh please, the amount of times I've had to drag Bobby into these things is too high to count. Don't act like a tough guy just because Hanbin's here.” Jinhwan grinned, winking at Bobby.

“I can't believe you're fabricating this kind of story about me, Jinan.” Jinhwan was right, of course. Bobby _hated_ haunted houses, but the way Hanbin had hidden in his chest during the zombie train had him rethinking them.

“You're all wimps,” Jinhwan said, shaking his head and herding them towards the entrance, “but we're all going through.”

The haunted house was set up like a hospital, and hospitals creeped Junhoe out. The nearer they got, the more dreadful he felt. “Uh, I need a bathroom break first.” He didn't really, he just wanted to hide.

“No you don't!” Jinhwan replied, grabbing his arm tightly. “You're going through this haunted house with me, or as punishment you have to watch Hanbin and Bobby act all gross with each other for half an hour.” Jinhwan stuck his tongue out at them. Junhoe groaned and let Jinhwan pull him to the entrance. This was a terrible idea.

Bobby felt more creeped out as well as they neared the entrance. Like Junhoe, he hated hospitals. But he looked at Hanbin, who looked like he was contemplating bolting. Bobby took a deep breath and reminded himself that as creepy as it could get, it was just a set up at a theme park, with normal people working the inside. Nothing to be afraid of.

Jinhwan demanded that Hanbin and Bobby go first (because he didn't trust that they would go if he left them) and he and Junhoe waited for a few minutes before going in after them.

“I almost want to go right after them,” Jinhwan said, “I wasn't lying, Bobby really does hate these things, and going with him is hilarious because he always starts yelling for his mom.”

Junhoe laughed, surprised to hear it. “Do you think he'll be okay in there? Hanbin might end up having to take care of him then.”

“If that happens, we can't ever let him hear the end of it, okay?” Jinhwan said, and Junhoe agreed. He was feeling slightly better, out here joking around with Jinhwan. But going inside still had him freaked out.

Jinhwan seemed to pick up on his nerves. “You okay doing this? You're not too scared, are you?”

Junhoe wasn't sure how authentic the concern was, but Jinhwan didn't sound like he was getting ready to tease him. “I'm fine. I mean, I won't lie, I hate these things, but I'm not as bad as Hanbin.”

Jinhwan grinned at him and patted his arm as they made their way inside. “I promise I'll be nice to you.”

Famous last words.

* * *

“Oh there's someone there, I know there's someone there.” Hanbin stood in front of Bobby, slowly reaching out a hand for the doorknob. For the first few minutes he'd walked behind Bobby, but he'd been grabbed from behind three times already and his heart couldn't take a fourth time, it was beating so fast in his chest.

Their new walking arrangement suited Bobby just fine. When he'd been leading he'd felt more nervous, expecting people to jump in front of him constantly. He'd almost punched a guy once out of sheer surprise, but it had made Hanbin laugh and hug him from behind. His laughter had calmed Bobby down for a second before someone had come back to grab Hanbin's shoulder, which had made them both scream. So he'd put Hanbin in front of him after that, but Bobby walked right behind him, plastered to his back, arms held protectively around Hanbin's shoulders. It was nice that they fit together like this. Bobby was a little bit taller than Hanbin, but he also had a wider frame up top, broader shoulders.

Hanbin's fingers finally settled on the doorknob, and he took a deep breath before turning it. He felt better with Bobby draped over him, the weight comfortable over his shoulders. With his free hand he held tightly to Bobby's forearm. Maybe there was nothing behind the door. Maybe this was just setting them up for a fright that wouldn't come.

He pulled the door open slowly, whining the entire time (he couldn't help it). As soon as it was open he leaned back into Bobby, not wanting to walk through. But Bobby pushed them both forward and despite it being so dark he could barely see, Hanbin closed his eyes anyway.

There was no one there, though.

“There's no one in the room, Bin,” Bobby said, breathing his own sigh of relief, “the next door's over there.”

“Okay let's stop for a second,” Hanbin demanded, turning around in Bobby's arms until he could face him, “my heart's hammering.”

Bobby grinned and tightened his arms around Hanbin's back. “I know, I can feel it against my chest.” Bobby leaned forward until his forehead was touching Hanbin's. He pressed a light kiss to the tip of his nose. “But you're okay, I'm sure we're almost through.”

“I'm never doing this again.” Hanbin said, but he kind of enjoyed the nervous adrenaline. Besides, it was nice to be wrapped up in Bobby's arms. He never would have consented to being like this with anyone else. He didn't mind letting Bobby be in such a dominant position with him.

Bobby grinned and kissed Hanbin on the lips then. “No? Not even if I ask you to go to another one?”

Hanbin kissed back, sliding his arms around Bobby's back. “Depends on how you asked.”

Bobby gave him another kiss instead of an answer, this one deeper and softer and it made Hanbin make that little sigh that Bobby loved so much.

Hanbin got so caught up in the moment, kissing Bobby, that it took him a second before he noticed that someone had reached out and grabbed his hand.

He shrieked and pulled away from Bobby, who turned around and yelled before punching into the air with his fists. But the actor had already turned away and was making their way back through the door they'd come in from. Bobby turned back to Hanbin, who was whining again.

“I hate this place.”

Bobby put his arm around Hanbin's shoulders and together they made for the next door.

“I hate it too.”

* * *

“Did I just hear Hanbin scream?” Jinhwan asked, turning to Junhoe.

Junhoe had actually been too freaked out by the scream to be able to make out if the voice was familiar or not. He was having a rough time and Jinhwan was certainly _not_ helping. Jinhwan didn't seem to be afraid at all, leading them through the maze of passageways. Junhoe tried to keep up with him but somehow he kept getting grabbed and things kept popping out at him. It was like Jinhwan had made a pact with the actors to only go after Junhoe.

There were just so many dark corners and things to hide behind, so many shadows that looked like people, but ended up being nothing. Junhoe was barely surviving, he'd been surprised too many times. Jinhwan laughed every time, too, like he thought the whole thing was hilarious.

Junhoe was tempted to stuff him in one of the empty lockers and leave him there. He seemed to enjoy scaring people, so maybe he'd be a good fit to work in the haunted house.

But after one shock too many he leaned against the wall and shut his eyes, taking a deep breath. Why had he let Jinhwan talk him into this? Stupid idea.

“Are you okay?” Jinhwan leaned next to him, and Junhoe was tempted to shove him away.

“Fine, just need a second.” It was embarrassing, getting so worked up over this stupid haunted house. He wasn't a big fan of ghosts to begin with, and the actors were too good at blending in with the corners and seeming to float when they came at him.

Jinhwan was torn between teasing Junhoe further and actually being nice. Nice won out in the end.

“Come on, let me protect you, you big baby.” Jinhwan reached out and took Junhoe's hand, threading their fingers together before Junhoe could say anything about it.

Junhoe felt like he ought to protest and pull away. Felt even more embarrassed at Jinhwan holding his hand again. This felt different than it had felt on the rides. It had been okay then, because he’d been in imminent peril of the machine breaking. But this was different. There was no danger here, and they were walking.

But he kind of liked it, in a weird way. It was oddly intimate, almost felt like something they shouldn't be doing. Which was ridiculous, because they'd both sucked each other's dick. What was hand holding compared to that?

He supposed it was a little like kissing. It was just a little bit more intimate than anything else, because there was a softness to it that wasn't there during the sexual stuff.

Whatever. If he held Jinhwan's hand a little tighter than necessary, he'd just blame it on the stupid haunted house, because it was kind of helping.

Jinhwan was tempted to prank Junhoe, but somehow he managed to hold off. Junhoe actually seemed like he was legitimately afraid of being in the haunted house, which Jinhwan thought was cute. It always ended up being the big tall guys who were the wimps.

Then again, it was kind of nice, in a way. Being the one doing the reassuring. It felt good walking around and holding Junhoe's hand.  
  
It really was too bad that he couldn't officially date him. It would be nice, having that again. But it wouldn't end well. So he dropped Junhoe's hand and pinched his ass instead before running off ahead of him and hiding, deciding to tease him after all. He had to balance their interaction, had to keep it from getting too intimate. He couldn't be selfish with Junhoe, he had to think about what was best for both of them. Getting emotionally invested in each other only for him to leave in a few months?  
  
It would only end in heartbreak, and a few months of fun wasn't worth that. He'd escaped intense heartbreak once, he wasn't looking to repeat it again so soon.

 


	33. All The Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jiun gives Bobby some brotherly advice about birthday presents. Hanbin corners Junhoe into an admission.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No Jinhwan this chapter. He'll be back next chapter, along with pretty much everyone else as next chapter is the basketball final. :)

Sunday afternoon found Bobby walking the streets with Jiun. After church that morning they'd played a few rounds of basketball together (Bobby had gone easy on him, but he'd still beaten him in the end) and now they were wandering in and out of shops. Hanbin's birthday was coming up and Bobby had no idea what to get him.  
  
“How did you decide what to buy Jeeyoung for her first birthday with you?” Bobby asked, desperate for some advice.  
  
“Ah, that was easy, actually. She had just started expressing an interest in making jewelry then, so I signed her up for a course in it. Mom said it was a terrible idea, told me I should be buying her jewelry instead of having her go make it herself. Begged me all week before the day to cancel my gift and buy her something instead. I stuck to my gut feeling though.”  
  
“What happened?” Bobby asked, amused to hear that Jiun had ignored their mother's advice. She said it hurt her feelings when they refused to listen to her, and the guilt trip usually worked on Bobby. Jiun was tougher.  
  
“Well, the day came and I went to her family's place for dinner. She opened everyone else's gifts before mine, and as she opened each one I'd never felt more nervous in my life. Everyone else got her nice clothes, accessories, her parents got her a really nice expensive purse she wanted. I came so close to saying I was sick and leaving suddenly, mom's words got to me in the moment.”  
  
Bobby grinned as Jiun recounted it, easily picturing the scene in his head. It must have had a great outcome, though, if they were still together.  
  
“So I'm sitting there, sweating and feeling sick to my stomach because I was sure that my gift was going to seem so miniscule compared to everyone else's. She saves it for last, then laughs at me because she can see how nervous it made me.”  
  
“That's why I like her, hyung.” Bobby interrupted, and Jiun shoved him into the wall for it.  
  
“So I had the bright idea to put the gift certificate in a jewelry box, which made me feel even worse. Everyone was making a big deal out of it when she took off the wrapping paper, I swear her mother thought it was an engagement ring she was so excited. Then she opened it, saw the paper, took a moment to read what it said. And then she started crying.”  
  
“Crying? I thought this was going to have a happy ending!” Bobby replied.  
  
Jiun just grinned at him. “She wasn't crying because she was upset. She said it was the most thoughtful present she'd ever gotten, that she couldn't believe that I'd been paying so much attention to her every time she talked about wanting to make jewelry.”  
  
“What did mom say when you told her?”   
  
“She told me that I'd better not screw up with Jeeyoung because I'd probably never find another woman like her again.”   
  
“Well she's not wrong about that.”  
  
Jiun grinned and laid his hand on Bobby's shoulder before looking him in the eye. “So that's my advice to you. Sometimes gifts aren't about the actual gift itself, but the thought behind the gift. It would have been easy to just buy her a necklace or bracelet, I wouldn't have had to think about it. She would have loved it. But deciding to pay for lessons was something that I thought about more. I wouldn't have known it would be a good present if I hadn't paid attention to her.”  
  
Bobby nodded, but it still didn't really help him. He wanted to get Hanbin a thoughtful gift, but he was having trouble figuring out what would be thoughtful enough. The only thing he could think of wasn't even a tangible gift itself, it was just a simple sentence, said out loud for the first time.  
  
That wasn't enough, though. He needed something more than that.  
  
“Don't stress yourself out over it, Jiwon. You'll know the right gift when you find it. Even if it's not even super thoughtful, I'm pretty sure Hanbin will be happy with anything you decide to give him.”  
  
It was so easy to say that when you weren't the one giving the gift.  
  
Just then he looked across the street, his eyes falling on two very familiar figures standing outside a store. It was Hanbin's dad and Hanbyul. Bobby stared at them for a moment before looking around for Hanbin. He was supposed to be at home studying, though, and Bobby wondered if he should go and say hi on his own. He was nervous about seeing them without Hanbin around.  
  
But then Hanbyul spotted him, and Bobby's stomach did a little flip when she smiled and waved at him. She'd warmed up considerably to him over time, and it made him happy to know that she wasn't afraid of him anymore.  
  
“Is that Hanbin's little sister?” Jiun asked, and a second later Hanbin's dad spotted him too.  
  
“Yeah, I need to go say hi.” Bobby crossed the street to meet them, and he was surprised when Hanbyul ran up to him.  
  
“Oppa! Hi.” She stopped right in front of him, smiling shyly at him. He reached out and patted her head softly.  
  
“Hi, Byul-ah! Are you shopping with your dad?” She nodded and looked back for her father, who was standing just behind her now.  
  
“Look who we found! Hello Bobby, nice to see you.”  
  
Bobby shook his hand. “Mr. Kim, this is my brother, Jiun.” They greeted each other amiably.  
  
“And this must be little Hanbyul!” Jiun greeted, kneeling down to speak to her. “You're even prettier than my brother said you were. It's very nice to meet you.”  
  
Hanbyul hid behind her father's leg, but still poked her head out to smile at Jiun.  
  
“Listen, Bobby, it's actually good that I ran into you. I wanted to invite you over next weekend. We have a family birthday dinner for Hanbin, some extended relatives you haven't met. It's family only, but I know Hanbin would like it if you were there. Actually he'd probably whine if I said you can't come.”  
  
Bobby was shocked at the invitation. Family-only birthday. Did that mean that even Junhoe wouldn't be there? Could he really accept such an invitation? Maybe he owed it to Hanbin for the whole church thing, though. “Thank you for the invitation, I'm really touched by it.”  
  
“I don't want you to feel pressured, I know it's asking a lot with a bunch of family members you don't know. They've all heard about you, though, so your presence would be very welcomed. I'll tell Hanbin to officially invite you around mid-week, in case you need a few days to figure out how to decline the invitation if you're too nervous.” Mr. Kim grinned at him in a way that put Bobby at ease. He liked Hanbin's dad a lot. Despite how successful he was as a business man, he always went out of his way to make Bobby feel at ease whenever they spoke. Not once had he ever gotten the impression that Hanbin's dad was judging him, or that he thought that Bobby wasn't good enough for his son.  
  
“I'll come, I'm not turning that invitation down.” Bobby answered before really giving himself a moment to think about it. Was he making the right choice?  
  
“Well, that'll make Hanbin very happy, so I appreciate that. You'll be happy to see Bobby there too, won't you princess?”  
  
Hanbyul met Bobby's eyes and smiled before suddenly giving him a hug. Bobby knelt down to hug her properly, surprised when she kissed his cheek without prompting. “Thank you, Byul-ah!”  
  
Mr. Kim watched them with a smile on his face. “Alright, come on, let's get back to shopping. It was good to see you, Bobby, and nice to meet you as well, Jiun. Have a lovely rest of your day.” Hanbyul took her father's hand and they took off back down the street.  
  
Bobby took a deep breath after they left, suddenly looking at Jiun with fear in his eyes. “What did I just agree to?”  
  
Jiun laughed at him. “Ah, don't worry about it! I like Hanbin's dad, he's very warm. No wonder Hanbin turned out the way he did.”  
  
Bobby nodded, but it didn't do much to abate his nerves. “Seriously, hyung! His whole family's gonna be there. I don't know if I'm ready.”  
  
“You owe it to him after he came to church.”  
  
Bobby knew Jiun was right, but he still felt like it was too early. “Ah, I don't want to screw up, though.”  
  
“Jiwon, I don't think Hanbin will let you screw anything up.”  
  
Bobby leaned against his brother, whining into his shoulder. “I'm fucked, now I really need a good birthday gift.”  
  
“Honestly I think just showing up counts as the thoughtful gift this time,” Jiun laughed, “don't stress over it.”  
  
“It's just, family dinner. It's so serious. This whole thing is just happening so fast. Usually I wouldn't get invited to an extended family dinner unless we were engaged.” He'd always found it a bit weird that they'd introduced each other to their families so early on. It wasn't the typical Korean way to go about things.  
  
“True, maybe take that as a sign that you're just meant to be.” Jiun teased. “This is God's way of telling you that Hanbin's yours for life.”  
  
Bobby swallowed nervously. He knew Jiun was just teasing him, but still. He didn't think it sounded so bad. There was some truth to what Jiun said at least, wasn't there? If God was against the relationship, he wouldn't be letting this all happen, would he? Was it all in His plan for Bobby?  
  
He liked to think so.  
  


* * *

  
“Wow, you got them all right, I'm impressed.” Hanbin finished marking Junhoe's mock history test, drawing a big smiley face on top of the paper before handing it back to him.  
  
“Thanks. I'll bring it home so mom can hang it on the fridge,” Junhoe joked back as he grabbed the paper. “Too bad you got one wrong.”  
  
Hanbin frowned as he reached out for his own paper. “What? I did not get anything wrong, which one?” He scanned over the paper, flipping to the second page. There, at the bottom of the page, written in Junhoe's own hand writing, was a new question. Hanbin kicked him.  
  
“If you're going to add a question, make it relevant at least.”  
  
“It is relevant! It's a history question. About history.”  
  
“What's the best thing that's ever happened on March 31st? I certainly hope you're not talking about the year you were born. National disaster.” Hanbin kicked him again, but Junhoe just laughed.  
  
“How about we take a break for a bit? I think we deserve a break.”   
  
Hanbin folded his paper up and stuck it in his textbook before laying down on his bed. “True, you're doing well. Might have to reward you with another double date.” Hanbin teased, grinning when Junhoe lashed out and smacked his arm.  
  
“Honestly, quit it with me and Jinhwan, okay? Nothing is going on between us. You should be grateful we're friends at all, after the crappy way you chose to start things.” Junhoe replied, dodging the topic and bringing up the past instead.  
  
“Excuse me? I only lied to you at the start because you would have wrung my neck had I told you the truth about Bobby.” Hanbin thought back to the beginning, amused at the way things had turned out. He really was lucky that Junhoe had taken to Jinhwan the way he had.  
  
“Friends never lie, asshole.” Junhoe teased back, hoping he could successfully evade talking about Jinhwan. Ever since the stupid _double date_ he hadn't been able to stop thinking about him. Of course Jinhwan had been an ass at the end, nearly causing him a heart attack in the stupid haunted house. But he'd been nice before that. The familiarity of holding hands was actually what he found himself thinking about the most.  
  
Hanbin regarded him silently for a moment, eyes narrowed in concentration. He still didn't believe nothing was going on there. They'd been too close at Lotte World, too physical. “Are you sure you're not just trying to hide a relationship from me? I know I've been teasing you a lot, but if something really was going on between you two, I promise I won't bug you about it.”  
  
Junhoe scoffed at the offer. “That's a load of shit and you know it, if you knew what was going on you'd never let me hear the end of it.”  
  
“HA! Something _is_ going on! I knew it!” Hanbin crowed in delight, sliding down off of his bed to sit next to Junhoe on the floor.  
  
“What? I didn't say that.” Junhoe panicked at Hanbin's response. What the hell had he said? Had he let something slip?  
  
“It's exactly what you said. You said, and I quote, _if you knew what was going on you'd never let me hear the end of it._ So what is it? What's going on?”   
  
Junhoe felt like kicking his own ass. How could he have slipped up like that? Stupid. “I meant to say _if_ something was going on. I'm just sick of you harassing me over it all the time.”  
  
“I thought you said friends never lie?” Hanbin teased, unwilling to drop it now that it was in conversation.  
  
“Why are you so obsessed with the idea, anyway? Getting bored with Bobby?”  
  
Hanbin just grinned and shook his head. “Why can't you just admit to me that you like him?”  
  
“I never said I didn't like him,” Junhoe replied.  
  
“I don't mean as a friend.” Hanbin said. “I can see you're not willing to admit anything, though, so let me tell you why I think something is going on.”  
  
Junhoe rolled his eyes and tried to look uninterested, but he was curious to hear what Hanbin would have to say.  
  
“It all started back after the concert that Jinan and I went to,” Hanbin said, “remember when we were out and Donghyuk said he wanted to hear about it, but then you started complaining and saying you were sick of hearing about it? But I'd barely even said anything to you. So if you weren't sick of me talking about it, clearly you must have been talking to Jinan.”  
  
“Wow, you got me. Hyung and I had a conversation about a concert. Don't tell my mom or she might start planning the wedding.” Junhoe tried to sound as though he thought it was ridiculous, but he was a little concerned that Hanbin had kept that first slip up in his head all this time.  
  
“You always sit next to him when we're in a group, even though you and Donghyuk are close now.”  
  
“Wow Hanbin, super sleuth over here. You should consider a career as a private detective.” None of it was damning evidence so far.  
  
“When Bobby and I came out from Sindbad, I noticed that Jinhwan had his head on your shoulder. He did it a few times during the day, actually.”  
  
Okay, now _that_ was cause for concern. He didn't realize that Hanbin had seen them cuddled up like that. “Your point? He's like you, he likes touching people.”  
  
Hanbin grinned back at him. “Of course he does. The thing is that _you_ don't. You hate it when people touch you. It took me years before you'd stop flinching every time I hugged you. I know you like to blame your physically tame past relationship on how religious and pure your ex was, but it was really a cover for you, too. You're not comfortable with people being clingy with you. But you never flinched _once_ when Jinan touched you. You didn't even seem like you noticed when he'd lean on you or grab your hand. Yeah, don't think I didn't notice that, by the way. You guys held hands a few times.”  
  
“Because I was terrified of the damn roller coasters that my _best friend_ made me go on!” Junhoe replied, panicking because god... Hanbin was _right._ Junhoe was not a physically affectionate person at all, but he actually _enjoyed_ it when Jinhwan touched him.  
  
 _Shit._  
  
Hanbin leaned against him, lying his head on Junhoe's shoulder. “Are you just afraid that he's not into you? You don't want to take the bait he's laying because you think he's not serious?”  
  
“That's not it, okay? I know he's into me--” _fuck._ Twice now, Hanbin had managed to trick him into giving something away!  
  
Hanbin tried to hide the smile on his face. Junhoe was crumbling. “Oh yeah? You seem pretty convinced of that. Did anything happen in the dark in the haunted house? You guys did take quite a bit longer than us.”  
  
“Yeah because he was an asshole and kept pranking me.” Fuck. Hanbin was really backing him into an admission. Would Jinhwan be upset if he spilled the whole thing to Hanbin? It was always going to be a matter of time, really, especially since Jinhwan kept initiating all of these damn intimate moments.  
  
“Ah, so the fear was the only thing that had your heart racing?” Hanbin needled, looking up at Junhoe's face.  
  
“Why are you being so annoying?”  
  
“Oh, you know something else I find kind of weird?” Hanbin waited for a moment, grinning when he saw Junhoe's expression darken.  
  
“Your face?”  
  
“After Sindbad, again, when Jinan was asking Bobby about what exactly we'd done. You didn't react at all. Jinhwan said blow job right in front of you, and you didn't even blush.”  
  
“Well yeah, I'm not ten, Hanbin. I can talk about sex.” Junhoe felt like shoving Hanbin face first into the wall, but he somehow managed to restrain himself. Hanbin had him so close to an admission.  
  
“Yeah sure, _now_ you can. A month ago and you would have been blushing furiously and telling him to shut up about that sort of stuff in public. You can't even talk about it in private conversation. But you actually made sex jokes yourself. It's like you're suddenly comfortable with the topic, and I'm just wondering why.”  
  
“Maybe Donghyuk and I talk about it.” Junhoe replied defensively.  
  
“Maybe, but I highly doubt it. Donghyuk would have told me.”  
  
“So you think that just because I can hear the word blow job and not blush it means Jinhwan's sucking my dick?” That really was the reason. Oh god. It was like he'd gift wrapped the whole thing to Hanbin. Of course he'd noticed everything different!  
  
“I didn't say anything about him sucking your dick,” Hanbin replied, “but since you're trying to say he hasn't, I think that means that he has.”  
  
Would it even be possible to throw Hanbin off of this now? Should he just come clean and admit it all? Would Hanbin even understand their arrangement, though? Would it make Jinhwan look bad for suggesting it?  
  
“Junhoe? Why won't you just tell me? Honestly, are you that uncomfortable with the idea of talking to me about it? We're best friends, aren't we? We _should_ talk about this stuff.”  
  
Junhoe couldn't take the guilt trip and found himself talking before he really had a chance to think about it. “Okay, fine, _yes._ There's kind of, _something,_ going on between Jinhwan and me.”  
  
Hanbin was surprised at Junhoe suddenly giving in and making the admission. He just stared at him in silence for a moment, as though he expected Junhoe to say he was joking.  
  
“Don't make a big deal out of it, okay? We weren't going to say anything, and before _you_ say anything it's not even a relationship, really. It's just, it's just something for fun, okay. It's not serious.”  
  
Not serious? What did he mean by just for fun? “So you're what, like, friends with benefits kind of thing?”  
  
“Yeah.” Junhoe could practically feel the heat rushing to his cheeks at the admission. Why was it so embarrassing to admit that out loud?  
  
Hanbin was floored. Never in his life would he have expected it of Junhoe. He sat up and looked at him, curious eyes taking in his expression. “Who suggested it?”   
  
Junhoe shrugged, hating that he felt suddenly vulnerable talking about it with Hanbin. “Jinhwan.”  
  
“And you agreed?” Hanbin couldn't help the surprise. It felt uncharacteristic of Junhoe.  
  
Junhoe felt self-conscious at Hanbin's question. It almost seemed like he disapproved. “Do you think I should have said no?”  
  
“No, it's not that,” Hanbin was quick to reply, “it's just kind of weird. I wouldn't have expected you to go for something like that. You're not really the most trusting person in the world, after all. It just seems a little out of character for you.”  
  
It did, didn't it? Hanbin had a point, but Junhoe didn't really know how to respond to it.  
  
“I know you said it's not serious, but, you really like him, don't you?” Hanbin had a feeling that there was more to Junhoe's decision than what he'd told him. Junhoe didn't just give in to things like this.  
  
Junhoe was feeling panicked again. What was he supposed to say? Should he tell Hanbin the truth, but make him promise not to say anything? Would Hanbin even do that? Or would he try to get involved and push Jinhwan into an actual relationship? There had to be a reason why Jinhwan hadn't broached the topic of them actually dating yet. It had to mean that despite Jinhwan continually being intimate with him, he probably didn't like him _that much._ Junhoe couldn't stand the thought of Hanbin trying to be _helpful_ and potentially ruining everything.  
  
“Do I like him? Yeah, sure. I'm honestly not looking to date him seriously, though. I know it seems weird to you, but well, he's just good at teaching me things. Like it started out because we started training in jiu jitsu. He found out that I, uh, had zero experience and then just offered to give me some. Which is good! When I find someone I actually want to date, I won't be some inexperienced loser who doesn't know anything. It's good preparation.” He knew it sounded pretty defensive, but what else was he supposed to say?  
  
Hanbin was quiet at the explanation, still floored by it all. He wasn't convinced that Junhoe's feelings were that simple. But he'd pushed him for a lot of information already, should he just let it go for now?  
  
“Okay. Thanks for telling me.”  
  
“I mean it Bin, don't make this into some big thing, okay?”  
  
“I won't.” Hanbin wondered if Bobby knew. Jinhwan seemed like the type who would admit things like this more easily.  
  
“Don't say anything to Jinhwan, okay? We didn't want to tell you guys, so I don't want him to know that you know. At least not without hearing it from me.” Jinhwan wouldn't be mad at him for divulging their secrets. At least Junhoe didn't think he would be. He needed to warn him that Hanbin knew.  
  
“I promise. I won't say anything.” It was going to be tough, though.  
  
Junhoe looked him in the eyes. “I'll kill you if you mention it.”  
  
Hanbin grinned, amused that he was so nervous about it. “Not if I kill you first.”  
  
“I could take you any time, anywhere.”  
  
“No chance. One good hit is all I need. I'll hit you so hard your jaw will have to be wired shut, and then you won't be sucking anyone's dick for months.” He couldn't help himself, and when Junhoe pounced on him and wrestled his arm under his chin to choke him Hanbin didn't even bother struggling.  
  
“You're so annoying, how does Bobby put up with you?”  
  
“My superior ball handling skills.” Hanbin would have been laughing if he'd been able to breathe.  
  
Junhoe huffed in disgust before releasing Hanbin and shoving him again the wall. “Speaking of balls, I think Yunhyeong's gay.”  
  
Hanbin looked back at Junhoe in surprise, his hand massaging his throat. “Really? Like, you have actual evidence?”  
  
Junhoe grinned back at him. “Kind of, I just realized that I never told you about what happened at the game last week. So Donghyuk and I were sitting there watching together, and at one point Yunhyeong came over to say hi. Kept smiling at Donghyuk. Some homophobe friend of his came over too, told him he shouldn't be talking to guys like us. Hyung basically told him to shut up and leave, which was pretty impressive.”  
  
Hanbin was surprised to hear it. “Wow, that is pretty ballsy for a guy in his social circle. Good for him.”  
  
“Yeah well, right before he left he told Donghyuk that he liked his new haircut. But he was actually kind of shy about it, like he said it as he was turning away. Which is weird, he always makes eye contact when he gives compliments.”  
  
Hanbin looked contemplative at the news. “That is telling for him, you're right about the eye contact.”  
  
“Right? I told Donghyuk how weird it was, but he's still in disbelief that Yunhyeong might actually like him.”  
  
“So let me guess. You're telling me this because you want me to forget what I know about you and Jinan, and instead try to help you to get Yunhyeong to admit he likes Donghyuk?” Hanbin wouldn't put it past Junhoe to do exactly that.  
  
Junhoe shrugged. “I'm just saying, I think they need your help more than anyone. We can't let Donghyuk continue to be the odd guy out, right.”  
  
Hanbin grinned. “Yeah. Can't have him being the lonely single.” At that Junhoe pounced on him again, putting a laughing Hanbin into an armbar and not letting go until he made him beg.  
  
“Sorry, couldn't help myself.” Hanbin said as he sat up, massaging his shoulder.  
  
“Well quit it, alright? I don't want to hurt you before your basketball final. You have to kick Bobby's ass.”  
  
Hanbin groaned at the thought. “Yeah, thanks for reminding me. “  
  
“Are you guys doing a _loser buys the winner dinner_ bet again that we'll need to crash?”  
  
Hanbin shook his head. In truth he was trying not to think about it too much because the nerves were hitting him harder. “Not this time. I just wish it wasn't happening so close to my birthday.”   
  
Junhoe didn't respond right away, wasn't sure if Hanbin just needed to talk or if he was actually looking for a two-way discussion. So he'd just go the safe route and tease him. “We can always postpone your birthday. I still have to get you a present after all.”  
  
Hanbin grinned at Junhoe's comment, latching on to it so he didn't have to think about the competition. “Why am I not surprised.”  
  
“I mean, really, I've been busy, haven't had time to go shopping.”  
  
“Too busy doing what? Messing around with Jinhwan?”  
  
Junhoe glared at him. “Okay, one more comment and I'm not buying you a gift at all.”  
  
“That's fine,” Hanbin replied with a gleam in his eye, “you don't have to buy me anything. Just give Jinhwan a kiss for me.”  
  
“I'm gonna give you a kiss,” Junhoe threatened, “with my fist.”  
  
“Hmm, sounds kinky.” Hanbin teased, and without fail Junhoe lunged at him again, wrestling him into another submission move that Hanbin was too lazy to defend himself from.  
  
“Why am I still friends with you? I have Donghyuk now, I should dump you.” Junhoe threatened, keeping Hanbin locked up.  
  
“Then you can go on double dates with him and Yunhyeong.” Hanbin teased, crying out in pain when Junhoe tightened his hold.  
  
“You won't have any friends except Bobby. I'll sabotage your basketball game so you lose, then even your teammates will hate you.” Junhoe grinned as Hanbin squirmed underneath him. He kept the hold firm but just loose enough that he wasn't doing him any damage.  
  
“Bullshit, they'll know it was you. You'll be a social pariah, I mean you kind of already are.”  
  
Junhoe finally let go and pushed Hanbin away. “That's just a taste of what these arms could do to you if you get out of line again.”  
  
Hanbin laid on the floor and rubbed his arm, laughing over the whole thing. “Besides, Donghyuk would pick me over you any day, are you kidding me?”  
  
“He would not! I taught him how to Moonwalk and gave him a really hot makeover. I got Yunhyeong to compliment him.”  
  
Hanbin shook his head in disagreement. “You made him change himself for potential romance! You made him a fake.” He tried not to laugh, tried to keep his expression serious.  
  
“Bullshit! He's still the same. Just upgraded.” Junhoe grinned back at him.  
  
“He trains at my boxing club, I could make life hell for him.”  
  
“Well you already make life hell for me, so he can join my club.”   
  
“I'm serious! If you break us up it'll have bad implications for him. He needs me, Junhoe.”  
  
“I can't believe you're threatening Donghyuk. You're such a bad person.”  
  
“I'm not threatening Donghyuk, I'm threatening _you!_ Stay away from him, he's my friend. You didn't even like him at first.”  
  
“Yeah well, don't tell anyone, but I never liked you either. In fact I still don't. I'm just too lazy to find another friend.” Junhoe was still grinning, and finally Hanbin's composure broke and he laughed, which made Junhoe laugh too.  
  
It was all bullshit, of course. The truth was he'd drop anyone for Hanbin. Not that Hanbin would ever ask for that, though. That rash sort of behaviour had always been Junhoe's forte.  
  
Not anymore. Jinhwan was proof that sometimes Hanbin was right.  
  
Okay, _most of the time_ he was right.  
  
His phone dinged with a message, then. Jinhwan had sent him a selfie, frowning with red chapped lips, captioned _'been blowing too many horns lately'_ and Junhoe couldn't help but smile.  
  
Okay. _All the time._ Hanbin was right _all the time._

 


	34. Priorities

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Whimoon vs Gwangnam. Hanbin vs Bobby. It's the basketball final!

_-im gonna make u my lil bitch after i beat u-  
  
-only thing thats gonna take a beating is your pride-  
  
-o ya u think?? ur ass is gon catch 1 if u keep talkin-  
  
-you trying to turn me on before the game or something? rude-  
  
-u tryin to tell me ur into rough stuff?? kinky babe-  
  
-no im not omg dont get any thoughts in your head!!-  
  
-gonna buy u a whip for ur bday k??-  
  
-dont you dare-  
  
-gonna give it to u in front of ur fam-  
  
-hyung no-  
  
-gonna do it-  
  
-ill break up with you first-  
  
-ill show up anyway ur sis will let me in-  
  
-im calling the police-  
  
-the police cant save u-  
  
-hello 911 my boyfriend is an idiot how do i exchange him-_  
  
“Oh god, please tell me you're not texting the boyfriend?”  
  
Bobby looked up just as Minhyuk sat down beside him. At least he'd kept his voice down.  
  
“Of course not, I'm texting Jinhwan,” Bobby lied, even though he didn't really need to. Not with Minhyuk, at least. Granted this was not the best time to be texting, half an hour before the start of the game. Both teams had just finished a warm up and were assembling in their respective rooms for some pre-game strategy talks. Bobby couldn't help himself, though. After seeing Hanbin warming up with his team he felt like he just needed a minute of their usual banter before everything potentially went to shit.  
  
Minhyuk saw through the lie. “Bullshit, Jinan doesn't make you get that stupid smile on your face.”  
  
Bobby grinned back at him and shrugged. “I have no idea what you're talking about, and frankly I'm offended that you're insinuating that I'm texting the enemy right now.” He typed a hasty goodbye message to Hanbin, not exactly wishing him luck, but wishing him a good game.  
  
Minhyuk rolled his eyes and nudged his knee. “Do we need to go over the rules? You can't be a boyfriend when we get out there. When the game starts, you are a single man.”  
  
“Oh are we lecturing Bobby hyung about the Hanbin situation?” Chanwoo joined them, sitting down next to Bobby and peering at his phone. “Are you texting him?”  
  
Bobby shielded his phone away from Chanwoo's prying eyes. “Keep your nosey ass out of my business, Chanu.”  
  
“Yeah, Bobby's only got room in his heart for one prominent nose, and it plays for the other team.” Minhyuk teased, and even Bobby had to bite the inside of his cheek to keep from laughing.  
  
“Hey, hyung,” Jooheon joined them then, kneeling down in front of Bobby, “I just wanted to check with you--”  
  
“No.” Bobby knew what Jooheon was going to ask simply from the shit eating grin he was currently sporting.  
  
“You don't even know what I was going to ask.” Jooheon replied.  
  
Bobby finally put his phone in his bag. Time to put Hanbin firmly out of his head. This was his last year competing in high school basketball, and despite finishing in the top three for the past two seasons, he'd never won the district. He wanted to leave a legacy this year.  
  
“I know exactly what you were going to say,” Bobby replied, leaning in closer to him, “the answer is no, you don't have to go easy on Hanbin.”  
  
The other three laughed and Bobby sat back, eyes scanning the rest of the room. The majority of the team was back inside the locker room now, so they were going to have to cut the conversation short lest it spark something uncomfortable with some of the others. No one had said anything yet, but Bobby was sure that everyone knew for sure that he and Hanbin were together now. It had seemed like a good idea to kiss him after their game that one time, but he was regretting it now. He felt like it was only a matter of time before the ticking time bomb detonated and he would have to defend himself from someone's meltdown.  
  
“Alright, is everyone back in?” Their coach called out, walking in with his clipboard and taking note of all the faces present.  
  
“Seunghoon had to make a pit stop in the bathroom quick,” the answer came from Cho Kunwoo, another senior who'd been on the team as long as Bobby. Like Hanbin, he played as a point forward, though his completion rate was nowhere near Hanbin's.  
  
“Alright, we'll wait til he's here.”  
  
Kunwoo waited until the coach left the room before approaching Bobby. “Surprised to see that you're in such a good mood.”  
  
Here it was, the potential meltdown. Bobby wouldn't count Kunwoo among his friends on the team. In fact, he'd been one of the most vocal members to protest Bobby's appointment as captain. Bobby crossed his arms over his chest and met Kunwoo's eyes. He knew what was coming, and he had to be careful in how he replied, had to keep things calm.  
  
“People are talking about you, you know. They've been saying some unsettling things.” Kunwoo stared back at him, baiting Bobby into a blowup.  
  
Bobby wasn't falling for it, though. There had been a time when he would have been on his feet already, defending himself from any potential comments. But he couldn't react that way as captain.  
  
“Oh yeah? What are the people saying, Kunwoo?” Might as well get to it right away while they still had time to get over it.  
  
“You know what's being said,” Kunwoo replied, pausing to look around the room, probably for moral support, “about you and Kim Hanbin. Whimoon's little star player. Same one you gave shit to Jooheon for when he fouled him hard a couple of games ago.”  
  
Bobby kept his eyes focused on Kunwoo, but he knew the entire room was staring at them, waiting for his response. What would be the best response for him? To admit the relationship outright? Would it really serve any good? Better to just deflect.  
  
“We have the league final in less than thirty minutes, and your focus is on a rumour?” Bobby kept his voice calm, but allowed a touch of ridicule to creep into his tone, “do yourself a favour, Kunwoo, and worry about your own game. You're in no position to be asking about anything else, not with your lacklustre performance this season.” Bobby dismissed the question without even addressing it. As Kunwoo shook his head and let out a long, disapproving huff, Bobby waited.  
  
He'd struck a nerve, though, bringing up Kunwoo's own performance. Only Bobby knew that Kunwoo was at risk of being benched for the game after a disappointing run as of late, and Kunwoo seemed to remember that. Bobby wouldn't hesitate to let it casually slip out loud if Kunwoo didn't back down.  
  
Kunwoo backed off the second their coach returned, Seunghoon following him in. But even though he sat down, Kunwoo kept an angry glare on Bobby. Bobby returned the stare but kept his own expression neutral. He couldn't afford to let his emotions get the better of him right now.  
  


* * *

  
Hanbin had mixed feelings as he looked down at the final message on his phone. Despite the bit of nerves he'd been looking forward to the game since last week, excited for one last game. Until half an hour ago when he'd seen Bobby warming up with his team.  
  
For some reason it was like his brain had just neglected to put two and two together, like it had refused to recognize that Bobby was really his opponent tonight. This was different than the first time they'd faced each other. While that game had been important, this game was the last one, and the weight it carried was heavy on his shoulders. This was the end of the season league final. Bobby's last high school basketball game.  
  
And Hanbin was going to ruin it for him.  
  
“Please tell me you're not coming down with some mystery illness.”  
  
Hanbin looked up from his phone, his eyes on his captain.  
  
“I have no idea what you're talking about, hyung.” Hanbin replied, innocent expression on his face.  
  
“I am going to be watching you like a hawk,” Yoongi teased, “if you're not playing at a hundred percent I'm benching you.”  
  
“Worry about yourself, old man!” Hanbin replied cheekily. “Last I checked, somebody's pass percentage hit a bit of a snag last game.”  
  
Yoongi shook his head and sat down next to Hanbin, putting an arm around his shoulders. “Listen kid, I know this is your boyfriend's last game of his school career, while you have another year left. I get it. But it's _my_ last game too, and I've had you longer.”  
  
“Oh god, here we go.” Hanbin grinned and leaned against Yoongi, settling in for the teasing lecture he knew was coming.  
  
“I remember it like it was yesterday,” Yoongi began in a wistful tone, “the day you tried out for the team. What a sweet and gentle soul you were back in those days.”  
  
Hanbin tried not to laugh. “I think you have me confused with someone else.”  
  
“So respectful, never talked back, always went out of your way to be polite and accommodating to your hyungs.”  
  
“Okay now I know you're definitely not talking about me, hyung. I think the dementia's taking over already.”  
  
Yoongi's arm tightened uncomfortably, and Hanbin's head was pressed into his chest. “Do you remember that day, when we first met? Jaebum was captain then, had that team mentor thing going on.”  
  
Hanbin shifted, trying to get a little more comfortable. “You mean team slave thing?”  
  
“I practically raised you myself on this team,” Yoongi carried on, his tone still light and wistful, his free hand settling on Hanbin's head, patting his hair, “did all I could to get the best out of you.”  
  
“Can someone please help me?” Hanbin called out, but all he got in return were the snickers of his teammates, all of whom were enjoying the show.  
  
“I look at you now and feel like a proud parent, you've come such a long way.”  
  
“Please, anyone? I need an adult.”  
  
“And now we're here, on our last day, and you have some new older guy who's taken over. Me, your team dad, shafted to the sidelines, no longer the top man in your life.”  
  
“I'm desperate here! Hobi hyung, where are you?” All Hanbin got in reply was more laughter, followed up by Hobi showing off his phone. He was recording the whole thing.  
  
“So I will ask you one time, my sweet, favourite child,” Yoongi suddenly moved his arm, tucking it under Hanbin's chin, catching him in a loosely held choke hold, “where are your priorities?”  
  
Hanbin finally let himself join in the laughter. It wasn't often that Yoongi let go of his stoic personality and acted anything remotely resembling ridiculous. Hanbin was grateful for it now.  
  
“There's no romance in basketball, hyung!” Hanbin answered, and he was rewarded with a pat to the cheek.  
  
“Good answer.” Yoongi let him up, grinning as he watched Hanbin sit up and rub his neck. “I'll be watching you.”  
  
“Like a hawk, I know, I heard. You sure your rickety old knees can handle one last game?”  
  
“These rickety old knees can still kick your ass, so don't get smart with me.”  
  
Hanbin laughed and realized then that his built-up nerves were gone now, thanks to the teasing. It was just basketball, after all. Couples survived worse than this.  
  


* * *

  
Junhoe occupied a seat in the stands in his usual spot, higher up to get a good view of the whole court. He'd come to the venue with Hanbin's family, who were sitting further down, closer to the floor, because Hanbyul wanted to be closer to the action to watch Hanbin and Bobby “playing sports together”. He'd tried to explain the rivalry aspect of the game to her, but it was going over head, so he'd left her to her parents.  
  
Donghyuk sat on his left, and Jinhwan sat on his right. He'd met Bobby's parents earlier, an introduction courtesy of Jinhwan. They'd decided to wait until the end of the game before introducing the parents to each other, though Hanbyul had recognized Bobby's older brother. It was weird to introduce parents without their own kids present.  
  
Junhoe wasn't sure what to expect from the game. It was different than their first game, more at stake without chance for retaliation. He wanted Hanbin to win purely out of loyalty, but he didn't know if it would cause problems, especially with Hanbin's birthday days away. They hadn't talked about it again since Sunday, but he knew Hanbin was worried about the situation. He'd thought about talking to Jinhwan about it, had wondered if there was anything they should do in preparation for the outcome. He'd decided against it, though. It would probably be fine, regardless of what happened.  
  
“Hey guys, mind if I watch the game with you?”  
  
Junhoe looked behind him and quirked an eyebrow up at the intruder, because he had a reputation to uphold with him. “Ugh, did I hear you correctly? You want to impose on us for a whole game?”  
  
His rude response got him an elbow in the chest from Donghyuk. “Why are you so rude?” Donghyuk shifted his attention up to their guest. “Hey, Yunhyeong hyung! Of course you can watch with us. Are you sure, though?” Donghyuk's heart felt like it was skipping multiple beats. Yunhyeong always hung out with his own friends during games. Why was he coming to them this time?  
  
Yunhyeong smiled down at him. “Yeah, just felt like a change of company for tonight.” He glanced over at Jinhwan then, recognizing him from the time they'd met at a restaurant. “It's Jinhwan, right? Bobby's best friend?”  
  
Jinhwan smiled up at him, nodding in response. “Ah, he remembers my name! I feel touched.”  
  
“Don't,” Junhoe interrupted, “I still complain about you all the time when he tutors me.”  
  
Jinhwan shook his head and elbowed Junhoe in the arm. “Why are you such a brat? Be nice to your hyungs or I'll kick your ass again.”  
  
Yunhyeong sat down next to Donghyuk as he watched Junhoe bicker with Jinhwan. He hadn't given up on his quest to find out who Junhoe's mystery friend was, and as he noticed how close they were sitting, noticed how Jinhwan would casually touch Junhoe's leg and Junhoe never seemed to be bothered, he wondered if it wasn't Jinhwan. At first guess he'd thought it was Donghyuk, but after getting to know him a little better he'd decided against that option. Though they made good friends, he didn't think that Junhoe was Donghyuk's type. Donghyuk was too smart.  
  
He liked Donghyuk, always felt some weird desire to interact with him any time he saw him. He figured it was some natural charisma that Donghyuk possessed, which wasn't entirely untrue. Despite a shaky start to his move back to Korea, Donghyuk was starting to make more friends now. Yunhyeong thought he was a good addition to Junhoe's little group.  
  
“So why are you sitting with us and not your friends, hyung?”  
  
Yunhyeong focused on Donghyuk's question, wondering how much he ought to say. Donghyuk had been there for Siwon, after all. It couldn't be that much of a surprise. “Ah, usually we're a bigger group, but tonight we lost half our guys to band practice. The guys left, well, they're all kind of like Siwon. I mean they're good guys, just not necessarily all the time, you know?” He felt weird explaining it to Donghyuk. Felt like he had to excuse himself for being friends with someone who'd been rude to Donghyuk based on something genetic that he had no control over.  
  
Donghyuk nodded, pleased that Yunhyeong had decided that he wanted more positive company for the game. “Let me guess, they complain about Hanbin, don't they?”  
  
Yunhyeong frowned. “Yeah, I didn't really want to spend the game listening to them complain about how our best player has some _abnormality_ , you know?” Okay, maybe he shouldn't have said that much. Donghyuk didn't need to know what Siwon said in specifics.  
  
Donghyuk rolled his eyes at the comment, but then he grinned. “Guys like that are idiots. Hanbin told me about the guy at his boxing club that he'd fought after he came out. Used to say the same sort of things to him. I don't get that kind of mentality, I mean whether it's boxing or basketball, it's not like you're going to be out there making out with a guy, so it shouldn't matter.”  
  
“I feel the same way!” Yunhyeong replied, maybe a little too enthusiastically. He was just relieved that Donghyuk hadn't been bothered by his comment about Siwon's comments. “People's private lives are private, what they choose to do shouldn't bother anyone who isn't involved, right?”  
  
Donghyuk beamed a smile back at him. Okay, so this wasn't exactly sounding like a confession from Yunhyeong, but it was open _support_ for his sexuality, which was almost just as good. As much as Donghyuk liked to sometimes fantasize about Yunhyeong admitting that he had feelings for him, realistically speaking he was thrilled to just have him willing to be openly supportive. Every positive reaction was worthy of celebration.  
  


* * *

  
The game was rough from the opening whistle. Ten seconds passed before Hanbin was on the floor after a hard foul from Kunwoo. Bobby was pretty sure Kunwoo had done it for two reasons: as some bullshit posturing that was meant to try and intimidate Hanbin, and to test Bobby. They both remained unbothered, though. Bobby didn't blow up at Kunwoo, and Hanbin got up calmly and resumed playing.  
  
It was easier now that they were in the game, Bobby's head was filled with plays and routes and passes to make. Reward came early, with Chanwoo scoring the opening basket for his team on a pass from Bobby. Bobby took it as a good sign.  
  
But despite being down at the start, Whimoon came back strong, and after five minutes they were up by four points, the majority of their baskets so far coming courtesy of Hanbin. The game was as tight as the previous one, but after Kunwoo's opening foul it was surprisingly clean for the first bit.  
  
They'd both settled into pure competitive mode now, the desire to win equally as strong. Bobby wanted the victory as payment for the past three years, for the struggles he'd endured with leading the team after coming out. He thought he deserved victory as a parting gift. Thought he'd earned it. It wouldn't be enough to simply finish in the top two this year. He needed to come first.  
  
But Hanbin was making it difficult. For every pass that Bobby completed and every shot he opened up for one of his teammates, there was Hanbin with a shot of his own, sinking basket after basket, accurate as a programed robot.  
  
Bobby studied his team during a line change, watching everyone closely from the bench. Kunwoo was playing a better game tonight, at least so far. Bobby hoped he wouldn't prove to be problematic again, but only time would tell. Nearing the end of the first quarter Bobby's mood was crippled somewhat unexpectedly. After a foul by one of Hanbin's teammates, Bobby took a moment to look around the gym, smiling at his parents before looking for his friends.  
  
Instead he saw Hanbyul, and she waved excitedly at him.  
  
Would she understand Hanbin's sadness later if Bobby's team won? Would she be mad at Bobby for hurting her brother? It was a weird place to be in, and he tried to block the question from his mind as he watched Chanwoo set up to take his foul shots. He had to stay focused. He couldn't afford to think about Hanbin's family, couldn't afford to think about both of their families here tonight.  
  


* * *

  
“All right, I don't want this to be like the last one, down to the second,” Yoongi advised, “we did good in the first half, but it's tight, so I want us to press more. I want you guys working to intercept passes, I want us turning the play more often. Mark your man and start stealing those passes, alright? We can't just keep hoping they'll miss their shots and then retaliate. We have to get aggressive so we can build on our lead.”  
  
The half-time pep talk worked. Five minutes into the start of the third quarter and they'd managed to reverse over half of Gwangnam's forward plays.  
  
Bobby ended up suffering for it the most. Hanbin's team was now seven points up and Bobby had the ball again, dribbling up and aiming a pass to Minhyuk. It was stolen by Hoseok and passed quickly to Hanbin, who barely evaded Seunghoon before sinking a three pointer from the line.  
  
Bobby called for a time out.  
  
“What the fuck is going on out there, guys? They keep coming at you and it's like you're all fucking sleeping!” He looked from player to player, glaring at all of them. “Tighten the fuck up out here.”  
  
Kunwoo shook his head and muttered under his breath. “Yeah I bet you like it tight.”  
  
Bobby heard it, and he couldn't help but snap back in the moment. “The fuck did you just say?”  
  
Chanwoo moved in front of Bobby, placing a hand on his chest. “Hyung, it's not worth it.”  
  
“Concentrate on the fucking game, Kunwoo.” Bobby snarled at him over Chanwoo's shoulder.  
  
“Just didn't seem like you were too desperate to stop your boyfriend from scoring,” Kunwoo accused.  
  
“That's not my role, he's not my mark,” Bobby shot back, almost unable to believe that Kunwoo was picking now to go after him again.  
  
“Kunwoo, shut the fuck up,” Seunghoon interjected, “I'm supposed to be covering Hanbin, I fucked that one up.”  
  
“Right now everyone is fucking everything up,” Bobby replied, “we have a lot of time left to turn this around but we need to stop being so flat footed.” Bobby ended the discussion there and everyone went back to their spots.  
  
Except Seunghoon.  
  
“You might want to think about benching him,” Seunghoon said in a whisper, and it surprised Bobby. Kunwoo and Seunghoon were practically best friends.  
  
“Why?” Bobby asked, curious about why Seunghoon was speaking up now. Despite not getting along with Kunwoo, Bobby had no problem with Seunghoon.  
  
“I just don't know why you're letting him talk to you like that,” Seunghoon replied, “he's out of line, and he's getting reckless. Don't take that shit from him, he's causing friction. If he gets benched, it's his own fault.”  
  
With that said Seunghoon went back to his place quickly, leaving Bobby to pick the ball up and take his own spot on the court.  
  
He definitely should have been more careful in his timing about revealing Hanbin.  
  


* * *

  
Bobby's eyes were on the clock before the ball even bounced off the rim. Forty-five seconds left. With Whimoon up by eight points they'd really needed that shot to go in. He felt like screaming at Minhyuk for missing, that he should have passed to Jooheon instead for a guaranteed two points.  
  
But he would have gone for the three points himself, so he can't really be angry.  
  
He took off after Yoongi, barely containing his fury. Instead of going for the ball he just wanted to bowl him over, wanted to unleash his frustration on him. But he controlled it and blocked Yoongi's shot before he got it off, brushing the ball with his fingertips and sending it just far enough to the right for Chanwoo to grab it.  
  
Chanwoo sent it up to Minhyuk who lined up for another shot—this one sunk through the hoop, and the lead closed to five points.  
  
Bobby looked back at the clock. Thirty-eight seconds. It was a stretch, but it was doable. They just had to keep Whimoon from scoring opportunities and had to force them into giving up possession lest they try to run down the clock. They also had to keep from being drawn into fouls, which was Bobby's biggest source of concern.  
  
Right now Yoongi had the hall and he passed it to Hanbin, who wasted a few seconds with it before attempting a long pass to power forward Minghyu, who caught it and went in for a layup, only to be blocked by Chanwoo. Bobby chased the ball down and got to it just before Hoseok showed up, and he sent a bounce pass by him that made its intended target of Kunwoo.  
  
Kunwoo charged forward, ignoring an open Minhyuk. Just as Bobby was about to yell at him for it Hanbin was there in front of Kunwoo, feet planted firmly in a blocking attempt.  
  
Bobby could see it happening before any contact was made. Hanbin didn't usually block, wasn't usually back that far, but since it was Kunwoo he was the one blocking, exploiting the opportunity. Kunwoo wouldn't be able to help himself.  
  
Kunwoo slammed his shoulder into Hanbin and sent him to the floor as he made his shot (which sunk through the hoop, of course) and Bobby wanted to scream at him when he heard the shrill whistle of the referee.  
  
Charging foul on Kunwoo. No points.  
  
“Are you kidding me, ref?” Kunwoo yelled, his frustration out in full despite being the one at fault.  
  
The referee wasn't having it. “Whimoon's ball! Another word out of you and you're done.” The referee spoke directly to him, hard eyes on him, like he was just waiting for a response.  
  
Kunwoo turned away. “Can you believe this guy? What a shit call.” Kunwoo directed his comment at Minhyuk.  
  
“Shut up, Kunwoo. Next time don't ignore an open pass! I could have sunk another three pointer.”  
  
Up in the stands tensions were running just as high.  
  
“Again, Kunwoo?!” Jinhwan complained, screaming into his hands.  
  
“He just can't hold it in against Hanbin, can he?” Junhoe replied, grinning from ear to ear.  
  
“He's a fucking idiot.” Jinhwan watched as Hanbin took the ball, his grin visible all the way up in the stands. It was looking dire for Bobby, and Jinhwan couldn't help but worry about how the loss would affect him. When they'd lost in previous seasons Bobby had moped about it for weeks afterwards (he never said anything, of course, so Jinhwan could never quite _prove_ that he was moping over the basketball, but he'd always known) but with Hanbin now, things would be different, wouldn't they? But it was also Bobby's last chance at victory.  
  
“That was really gutsy of Hanbin, though, that guy looked like he hit him really hard,” Yunhyeong said.  
  
“Ah, Hanbin's way tougher than he looks! He's used to getting fouled all the time, this isn't anything new for him.” Junhoe replied smugly, watching as his school's team wasted a few more seconds with the ball. They were going to win. The gap was too big now with the amount of time left.  
  
“Yeah, you should see some of the knocks he's taken at boxing, hyung,” Donghyuk added, grinning at Yunhyeong, “never lets it affect him.” The night was going _perfect_ for Donghyuk. The game was good, of course, but he'd spent the entire tire sitting next to Yunhyeong, engaging him in conversation. So far he'd learned that Yunhyeong had originally wanted to go to an arts school to study acting, but his parents hadn't let him, so now he was studying business in order to take over his parents' restaurant in the future. He loved to cook, loved to travel, and had asked Donghyuk to teach him some English.  
  
So as he watched the clock tick down, edging closer to victory, Donghyuk couldn't keep the beaming smile off his face. He felt like they were truly becoming _friends,_ or at least as much as they could be given Korea's whole age thing. Their conversations weren't the least bit awkward or forced, everything felt like it had a natural flow.  
  
When they won, maybe he'd try hugging Yunhyeong in excitement. Just to test his reaction. And to see what his hugs felt like.  
  


* * *

  
With only eight seconds left Gwangnam had closed the lead to only four points, but Hanbin wasn't nervous or worried. Sometimes in basketball you just had to trust your team and let a shot happen here and there just to get possession back. Controlled risk, the same way he sometimes would eat a shot in boxing just to catch his opponent slightly off-balance.  
  
He had the ball currently, deep in the opposition's end, but all of his shots were blocked. He was being covered by Seunghoon, and Hanbin kept a count in his head of the shot clock. Just as he had seconds left he darted out around Seunghoon, making him twist and take a misplaced step directly in Hanbin's path, and Hanbin drew the foul, trying to keep from grinning when the referee blew his whistle and Seunghoon cursed himself in frustration.  
  
At one time he'd felt like drawing fouls was a bit like cheating, taking opportunity of your opponent's errors and exploiting them for gain. But that was just the way the world as a whole worked, wasn't it? He wouldn't be able to draw fouls if they watched their footing better or kept their elbows to themselves.  
  
He cleared his mind though as he took his spot on the free throw line, bouncing the ball a few times with his eyes on the hoop. He had two shots, and when he sunk them both they'd be up by six again, which would pretty much ruin Gwangnam's last hope. Four points wasn't really that safe—just score a two pointer and draw a foul and they could tie it up in seconds. But six put them that one extra point on top, and there just wasn't the time.  
  
He focused on the shot, drawing in a breath, his thoughts solely on basketball right now. His team needed him, and he always delivered in moments like this. He shot the first ball and it sunk swiftly through the net, and they were up by five. He high fived Yoongi and Hoseok before receiving the ball back from the referee and lining up for the second.  
  
He sunk it like the first. Eight seconds left now and they were up by six. It was a sure victory, and he'd been the one to secure it. But there was still time left on the clock and they took their positions back up, pressing into Gwangnam's offense. Three seconds in and Minhyuk got off a three point shot that made it's target, but Hanbin wasn't worried.  
  
There were five seconds left and possession was theirs. He and Yoongi passed the ball back and forth a few times, and just as the full time buzzer was about to go Hanbin couldn't help but fire off one last shot at the net, just because it was there. It sunk and they won the game by six points after all.  
  


* * *

  
Yunhyeong's hug was everything Donghyuk had hoped it would be. He had a surprisingly strong embrace and he let it last a few seconds longer than it normally would have. Donghyuk couldn't help but breathe in deeply with his face in Yunhyeong's neck, taking in the scent of his cologne. He had no idea which one it was, but it smelled like the greatest thing in the world at the moment.  
  
“I can't believe Hanbin sunk that last one! What skill!” Yunhyeong finally pulled out of the hug, elated at the last second three point shot. It was nice to be able to celebrate the victory and not hear snide remarks about their star player's sexuality.  
  
“I know, I can't believe he's real sometimes.” Donghyuk added with a laugh, but his mind was still firmly on Yunhyeong.  
  
Junhoe was still sitting down beside them, wearing a smug grin and looking at Jinhwan, whose face was pinched in irritation. Junhoe couldn't help but lean in close to him.  
  
“What an ending, huh? Such drama. Just like a movie.”  
  
Jinhwan glanced at him out of the corner of his eye, not turning his head. “If it were like a movie, we would have come back and won in the end. But we didn't, and now I have to be subjected to your bullshit.”  
  
Junhoe couldn't help himself, sliding even closer and looping his arm around Jinhwan's shoulders. “Let me know if there's anything I can do for you in your time of loss.”  
  
Jinhwan still refused to give in, wouldn't turn his head to look at him. Instead he just slid one hand up to his cheek and proceeded to give Junhoe the finger. “You can go fuck yourself.”  
  
Junhoe couldn't help but laugh, amused with Jinhwan's irritated response. He couldn't stop needling, though. “To be honest with you, hyung, I'm not sure I know how to do that, but I assume you're going to teach me the finer points of it some time in the near future?”  
  
Jinhwan wasn't expecting the response and he couldn't stop himself from laughing even though he didn't want to. That was a bad sign, wasn't it, that just a dumb joke from Junhoe could disarm him so easily? _Dangerous, Jinhwan, you're getting too attached._ “Sure will, if you're lucky.”  
  
Yunhyeong watched them closely, absolutely certain that Jinhwan was the special friend. Junhoe wasn't even celebrating Hanbin's victory, instead he was all up in Jinhwan's face, as close as could be. He had his answer.  
  
“What's that look for, hyung?” Donghyuk had caught him staring, and Yunhyeong wondered if Donghyuk had any idea.  
  
“Just wondering when Junhoe got so close to Jinhwan,” Yunhyeong said, keeping his tone casual.  
  
Donghyuk grinned and glanced at them quickly before turning back to Yunhyeong. “I know, right? It's so weird. I know I haven't known him as long, but they weren't like that when I first got here. They could barely tolerate each other. Now it almost looks like they're dating, sometimes.”  
  
Yunhyeong was dying to ask the question, dying to ask Donghyuk if he knew. But he kept it to himself for now. Barely. “Yeah, that's what I thought. Junhoe usually never gets so close to people, but he's really been cozy with Jinhwan for the whole game.”  
  
“Yeah, I think it's cute, actually,” Donghyuk replied, and he was happy that Yunhyeong wasn't making a comment about how it was gross, or that they shouldn't be so close out in public.  
  
“Ah, it's weird hearing someone call Junhoe _cute,”_ Yunhyeong said with a laugh, “I always see the obnoxious side of him, didn't think he had a cute side.”  
  
Donghyuk looked at Yunhyeong with a fond smile. “Everyone has a cute side, hyung.”  
  
Yunhyeong felt like ducking his head away at Donghyuk's comment. Could feel his cheeks getting warm. Ah, this was crazy, how weird he felt around Donghyuk sometimes! Weird but nice. It almost felt a little like they were flirting sometimes, but that was crazy. Yunhyeong wasn't into guys, didn't find guys attractive at all.  
  
But there was something about Donghyuk; it was different with him.  
  
His thoughts were interrupted by Junhoe, thankfully, who was standing up now, his arm still around Jinhwan's shoulders, and he was saying that they should go and find Hanbin and congratulate him. Yunhyeong wondered if he shouldn't leave them now and catch up with his friends. They always hung out after games, and he knew that even his friends who'd been stuck at band practice would be coming out to catch up with them too.  
  
But he wanted to stay here. Didn't want to leave this new little group yet. He told himself he just wanted to continue to monitor the Junhoe and Jinhwan situation, but he knew that wasn't really the reason.  
  
But it was the story he was going with.  
  


* * *

  
With Chanwoo finally gone Bobby was the last one in the locker room, and he had half a mind to text his family to leave without him. He wasn't keen on the idea of seeing everyone right now—his parents, his brother, his friends. Hanbin.  
  
He couldn't accurately explain how he was feeling. He was angry, disappointed, but he wasn't entirely sure _what_ he was bothered about. It was easy to blame the loss on the team falling apart, easy to blame it on missed shots and poor passes. But he was terrified that maybe all of that had happened because of him. Sure, he'd kept things as calm as possible, but Kunwoo was a good example. Had his ire at Bobby's relationship impacted his play tonight? Would Kunwoo have sunk all of the shots he'd missed if he hadn't been preoccupied, thinking about how he felt betrayed by Bobby's relationship with Hanbin?  
  
Not hiding his relationship until after the season had ended had been a severely poor lack of judgement, prioritizing his own wants above those of the team. He should have hidden the relationship, should have waited until after this game.  
  
No one had come out and said it, but he knew they were probably all thinking it. Especially since Hanbin had scored the majority of the points, since he'd been awarded with Game MVP. It stung, being beaten a second time. He felt sorry for himself, but he also felt sorry that he wasn't able to be happy for Hanbin, either.  
  
He was losing out on both sides, and it had negatively affected his team.  
  
How was he supposed to go back to regular life, now? Every time he got together with Hanbin, wouldn't he just think about this? He'd remember his disappointment, remember that feeling of _betrayal_ at the end of the game, when Hanbin had sunk that last basket. Remember thinking at the moment _was that really necessary? Just rubbing salt in the wound, rubbing my face in the fact that you're better than me._ He knew that hadn't been Hanbin's intent now, but at the time it had felt like he'd been stabbed in the back (repeatedly).  
  
He felt like he'd failed his team, failed his family, failed himself. It was a feeling that had a nasty habit of creeping up around Hanbin. It was easy for Bobby to feel good about himself when they were doing something casual and unimportant, like goofing around at an amusement park. It was easy to feel like a king when Hanbin clung to him in a haunted house, or when he gave him pleasure so mind blowing he couldn't speak for ten minutes afterwards.  
  
But when it came down to real life, when it came down to things that were relevant to everyday success, Hanbin always trumped him. Always came out in the lead. Maybe it shouldn't matter so much, but it did. Bobby couldn't help it, couldn't stop comparing himself to Hanbin and feeling disappointed when he always came up short.  
  
The truth was that one day Hanbin would meet someone else, someone _better._ How could Bobby compete with that? He couldn't even compete with Hanbin.  
  
“Ah, Jiwon, I thought I might find you in here.”  
  
Bobby looked up at the door, eyes falling on his coach. He quickly looked down at the floor. Great. One more person he'd let down tonight, one more person who was disappointed in him. He wondered if the older man had been waiting for this opportunity to get him alone? Was he going to unleash his fury on him now with no one around to overhear? Bobby figured he probably deserved whatever he had coming.  
  
“I hope you're not being too hard on yourself, you played a great game tonight.”  
  
He hadn't expected it to start with a compliment. He waited in silence for the inevitable _but,_ only for it to never come.  
  
“It's been an absolute pleasure watching you grow and develop as a player over the last three years. I remember when you first started out. I never would have imagined that two years later, I'd be naming you captain. You were the most selfish player that first year, I can't even recall how many times I scolded you to be a better team player.”  
  
It was true. Bobby had been desperate to prove himself that first season, desperate to shine and stand out. But he'd only looked out for himself, only tried to make himself look good. So maybe he'd turned it around on the court, but off the court he was still the same selfish person, putting his own interests ahead of everyone else's.  
  
“I'm proud of how far you've come, of how much you've grown. You're a wonderfully capable captain, Jiwon.”  
  
Bobby couldn't stand hearing it, because it wasn't true. “No, sir.”

His coach sat down next to him on the bench and Bobby stiffened, still expecting a lecture, still felt like he deserved one.  
  
“Let me tell you something, Jiwon, and this is probably something I should have told you a long time ago.”  
  
Bobby held his breath and waited, not wanting to hear it, but also just wanting to get it over with.  
  
“I know there's been some controversy surrounding you, ever since last year when you came out to us all. You never did manage to escape it. There were many times that I thought that I should have spoken up, to you, and to the others. I should have forced us all to have a real talk about it, to air it all out. Instead I didn't, instead I forbade anyone from speaking about it, because I thought it was the right thing to do. Who you choose to be with romantically has no impact on your athleticism, so I thought it had no place to be discussed amongst the team. But that was wrong of me, I can see that now. I thought hiding it would make it go away, but instead it compounded it for some of your teammates, and that caused problems. I just wanted to apologize to you for that. There was nothing that you could have done to make it better. That was my responsibility as your coach, as your mentor.”  
  
Bobby swallowed nervously, unsure how to go about responding. His coach had never broached the topic of his sexuality before, never addressed out loud that Bobby was gay. He'd spoken about it, but had never named it. He'd never looked Bobby in the face and told him that it was okay.  
  
Bobby had assumed that was because he _didn't_ think it was okay. He'd assumed that his coach thought the same thing as almost everyone else, that it was disgusting and unnatural and sinful. Didn't think it was a proper _lifestyle choice._  
  
“When you came out to us, Jiwon, it impacted you as a player. But it impacted you _positively._ You became a better team player, you became more responsible, more respectful. I don't know if that was because you were afraid of losing your spot, or if admitting it had just removed a weight from your shoulders that let you grow. But you became indispensable to the team after that. You'd always been a good player, but you became a great player. You were the obvious choice to be named captain, you'd earned it. I know there are some who will choose to blame the loss on you, on your relationship with that Whimoon player. I'm not one of those people, though.”  
  
Bobby finally looked at him, mouth open in shock. Was he truly not getting any blame from his coach for dating Hanbin? Not even a shred?  
  
“Basketball is not a one man sport, Jiwon. All members must function well for the team to function well. Even as the captain, at the end of the game if someone misses a shot, that's not on you. All you can do is lead the play and make the pass. It's on your teammates to score the points, that's not your role on the team. Unfortunately, tonight, not everyone else was on their game. As the saying goes, _you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink._ Do you get what I'm saying? You played your part well, you did all you could. You led with authority and confidence, as you should have. There's no shame in losing when you've done your best.”  
  
Bobby almost couldn't believe it. This was the first time he and his coach were having such a heartfelt conversation. Maybe it was because his coach could see that he needed it. Needed to hear that it wasn't his fault, needed to hear it from someone with authority. Needed to be told that he'd done everything he could, that he'd been good enough. Usually he didn't need it, usually after losses he was angry, not sad. But it wasn't just about basketball this time.  
  
“Thank you, Coach Lee. I appreciate it.”  
  
“The season is over, everything is done. Don't worry about what could have been, or what people will say. I've been coaching this team for twelve years now. You're one of the best captains I've had. I'm not disappointed in this season, and I'm not disappointed in you. So I hope you won't be either.”  
  
His coach stood up and patted him on the head before heading for the door.  
  
“Your family is waiting for you, Jiwon, you should really go out and see them.”  
  
He was right, and Bobby knew that. Sitting alone and hiding wasn't going to change anything, and it wouldn't it any easier to accept the loss. Best to get the awkwardness out of the way and carry on with life. He gathered his things up and left the changing room, but he left his phone in his bag. He didn't know if Hanbin was still around, or if he'd left to go celebrate with his team already. He was honestly afraid to find out, afraid of his own reaction when he looked at him. What if it just brought him back down again, after Coach Lee's talk had cheered him up a bit?  
  
Bobby finally emerged into the gym, bag slung over his shoulder, quickly scanning the people who remained, looking for his family. Before he found them he heard a very familiar voice call out to him, and he was surprised at the way it made his heart lurch inside his chest.  
  
“Oppa!” He looked up to see Hanbyul running to him from across the gym, and maybe she just had a way of putting everything into perspective that he hadn't imagined he'd be able to do just yet, but he dropped his bag and held his arms out, smiling as she ran up to him for a hug.  
  
“Oppa, we were going to leave but you came just in time!”  
  
Bobby grinned at the dramatic tone of her voice, like seeing him before leaving had been of dire importance to her. Then again she was young, too young to fully understand the impact of the game's outcome. Too young to understand why he might not want to see Hanbin and his family so soon.  
  
“I'm sorry I made you wait, Byul-ah, I was talking to my coach.”  
  
She nodded. “That's what Hanbin-ie oppa said you were probably doing. But I wanted to say that you were really good! You were the best, you and Hanbin-ie, I'm happy I got to see you play together.” She flung her arms around his neck and leaned in again, and Bobby felt tears prickling at the corners of his eyes. Since when had she gotten so attached to him? It was the best feeling, though, and he stood up, picking her up and carrying her over to where both of their families were standing together.  
  
He should have been there for the introductions. Shouldn't have made Hanbin handle it all on his own. Bobby looked for him then, nervously meeting his eyes, and Hanbin's expression was similar to his own, like he was waiting to see how Bobby would respond, waiting to see what reaction would be appropriate for him.  
  
It just made Bobby feel guilty. Hanbin couldn't properly celebrate his victory because he was too worried about potentially offending his boyfriend. Bobby couldn't let that last.  
  
He dropped Hanbyul off by her parents and ignored everyone else for the moment, coming to stand in front of Hanbin. He smiled at him, tried to convey that despite the disappointment he was doing okay. And he kind of was. It had all started with Coach Lee, and it had carried on with Hanbyul. But it crested with Hanbin.  
  
Hanbin should be out with his teammates right now, celebrating their victory. But he'd stayed back to wait for Bobby, hadn't wanted to leave without saying goodbye. It touched Bobby deep down, it hit him in all kinds of weird ways. He reached out to cup Hanbin's cheeks in his palms before leaning forward and pressing a kiss to his lips.  
  
Fuck everyone else who was watching right now. It was important to have priorities in life, and if he prioritized his own hurt feelings over a game that had zero impact on his future instead of prioritizing the person he wanted to have _in_ his future, then that would be his own stupid mistake.  
  
“Congratulations on the victory, you were amazing.”  
  
Hanbin seemed to melt into his arms after the kiss and the comment, and Bobby thought again about his earlier thoughts, about how easy it was to feel smug and superior when Hanbin was like this with him, soft and pliant and adoring. Maybe it didn't only have to matter when they were doing unimportant things. Maybe, if he got over his own pride, he'd see that Hanbin was _always_ like this with him, even when Hanbin himself was the one showcasing his superiority.  
  
Maybe that was just the way things were meant to be for him. Maybe he was wasting his time worrying about Hanbin finding someone better. Maybe _better_ wasn't what Hanbin wanted, wasn't what he needed. Maybe Bobby already gave him what he was after. Bobby just had to learn to accept that Hanbin would probably always be better than him at things, but that didn't mean that Bobby wasn't any good himself. There was always going to be someone in life who was better than you were. Unfortunately, for Bobby's pride, he was in love with someone exactly like that.  
  
He just had to work at accepting it.  
  
Hanbin hugged him tightly again and kissed him back, whispering a thank you into Bobby's ear that got Bobby's heart fluttering wildly again.  
  
“I hate to break up this touching scene, but Hanbin we need to go.”  
  
Their moment was interrupted by Yoongi, who stood near them with his arms crossed over his chest. Despite technically being rivals with each other for the duration of their high school careers, they'd always remained on the friendly side of civil, which Bobby was grateful for at the moment. As difficult as it was to lose to Hanbin, it would have been so much harder to lose to a hated rival.  
  
Hanbin sighed in dramatic exasperation. “Fine. Apparently there's some stupid team dinner they're throwing for me because I'm the best,” Hanbin said teasingly, grinning when it made Bobby's eyes narrow, “it's super lame, I know.” He pecked Bobby's cheek.  
  
“How do you put up with this kid?” Yoongi asked, shaking his head at Bobby.  
  
It made Bobby grin. “He's got his charms.”  
  
“Does he? How come I've never seen these charms?” Yoongi grumbled at Hanbin.  
  
“Didn't know you were interested, hyung.” Hanbin teased and winked at him. Yoongi just let out a disgusted sound before looking at Bobby again.  
  
“Listen, treat him well, alright?”  
  
Bobby nodded, thankful that Yoongi didn't seem bothered by their relationship, at least. It even made him feel a tiny bit better about losing to him, knowing that he'd been supportive of Hanbin. “I will, I promise.”  
  
Yoongi grinned back at him. “Oh actually, that comment wasn't for you. That was for Hanbin, the little brat. You better treat Bobby better than you treat me.”  
  
Hanbin's eyes widened in shock. “What? I don't even treat you poorly, what are you talking about?”  
  
Bobby grinned back at Yoongi. Nothing seemed to solidify an offer of friendship like teasing your mutual acquaintance. “Don't worry, I believe you. He is a brat.” Bobby looked at Hanbin then, whose face was full of betrayal. “A cute brat, but still a brat.”  
  
“See? You're not fooling anyone.” Yoongi winked at Hanbin. “Anyway, Bobby, despite taking the loss you played a stellar game tonight, shame some of your guys weren't up to standard.”  
  
“Yeah thanks, I appreciate it.” Oddly enough Bobby did appreciate hearing it. Usually he hated to hear sympathetic comments from anyone after losing a game, but it felt different to hear it from your opponent. He and Yoongi played the same position, after all, so he understood what it was like to lose a game because your teammates missed their shots.  
  
Hanbin kissed him one last time before finally disentangling himself, and Bobby watched as he made his rounds and said his goodbyes. Their parents were still standing together, and Bobby felt slightly guilty that he hadn't greeted his parents yet, but from the way his mother was hugging Hanbin and kissing his cheek, he felt like he'd probably get off the hook for it.  
  
He said a quick goodbye to Junhoe, Donghyuk, and Yunhyeong, who left with Hanbin and Yoongi, inviting themselves along to the party. Jinhwan took up Hanbin's vacated spot next to Bobby, slinging an arm around his waist and wearing a pleased little smirk. Hanbin's parents left too, but not before congratulating Bobby on a good game. Hanbyul even gave him another kiss, and it made Bobby feel warm again.  
  
Then Bobby was left with only his family, and he held up a hand to silence any comments they were about to make. “Can we just not talk about the game tonight? I'm feeling okay about it right now, but I don't really want to talk about it, okay?”  
  
“What about comments that you had the hottest body out there tonight?” Jinhwan teased, shrinking away when both Bobby and his mother reached out to smack him. “Ah, come on! I'm just trying to make him feel better!”  
  
Bobby laughed, choosing to be amused instead of annoyed. “You're an idiot, Jinan.”  
  
“I know you said not to say anything, but I'm proud of you, baby,” his mother cut in, “that's all I want to say. I know you don't want to hear it, but I'm your mother, and that's what we do.” She gave him a quick peck on the cheek and Bobby was torn between between wanting to hug her and wanting to whine and tell her not to embarrass him like that in public. He ended up somewhere in the middle.  
  
“Why don't we go and grab some late night barbeque, huh? Just us family.”  
  
Bobby's dad made the offer and even though Bobby was starting to feel like he just wanted to hide away and sulk again, he knew that he couldn't let himself do that. He had to make a change, had to prioritize his feelings. Right now his family deserved to be put ahead of his disappointment in the outcome of the game, and he'd probably sleep better tonight after having a happy meal with his family.  
  
He smiled at his dad and tightened his arm around Jinhwan's shoulders. “Alright, let's go!”

 


	35. Skeletons

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jinhwan takes Junhoe out for dinner after jiu jitsu practice, and Junhoe gets an unexpectedly personal answer to a question he's been curious about.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Only JunHwan this chapter (next chapter will be only Double B). Get ready to finally learn all about Jinhwan's family situation! (I apologize in advance;)

“You want to go eat at a slightly nicer place tonight?”  
  
Junhoe finished packing his gear away before looking up at Jinhwan. They’d just finished a two hour training session in preparation for Jinhwan’s upcoming brown belt test that had mostly consisted of Junhoe allowing Jinhwan to practice a variety of moves on him. “How nice?”   
  
“Don’t worry, I’ll pay,” Jinhwan offered, “I made you my guinea pig for the past two hours, it’s the least I can do. Maybe an actual restaurant instead of our usual street vendor.”   
  
Junhoe grinned back at him before zipping his bag closed and standing up. “Well then, in that case you’d better make it somewhere especially nice.” He followed Jinhwan out from the building and onto the street, stuffing his hands into the pockets of his jacket. The weather was finally starting to catch up with the time of the year, and the nights were cooling off.   
  
“Thanks for helping me out, by the way,” Jinhwan said, “I know today couldn’t have been that exciting for you.”   
  
“It’s fine, hyung, it’s not glamorous all the time.” Junhoe didn’t mind helping out, especially since he didn’t have any pressing schoolwork this week. It was also kind of nice to be the one helping Jinhwan for his test. He could be practicing with anyone, but he’d asked Junhoe.   
  
“Won’t lie, it was nice putting you in all of those positions and not having to fight you on it,” Jinhwan teased, nudging Junhoe’s arm.   
  
Junhoe shook his head and hoped he wasn’t blushing at the comment. He’d just blame it on the cold wind making his cheeks red. “Yeah you’re lucky I’m such a nice person.”   
  
Jinhwan soon led the way into a cozy little restaurant, where they were able to snag the last booth. They stuffed their bags under the table and looked over the menus before deciding on two pots of bulgogi.   
  
Eating in a restaurant, just the two of them, felt different to Junhoe, a little nicer, a little more formal than simply getting food at the vendor and sitting on a bench to eat. He glanced quickly around the restaurant, pleased that no one seemed to be paying them much attention.   
  
“I’ve come here a few times with Bobby,” Jinhwan explained, “Jiun actually brought us here the first time. He used to eat here a lot when he was our age.”   
  
Junhoe thought it was nice that the place had a bit of history for them. “Really? That’s cool that you guys kept it up.”   
  
Jinhwan smiled at him, slumping comfortably back into the seat. “Yeah, the food is really good and it’s fairly cheap.”   
  
Junhoe scrunched his face at the comment purely for effect. “I’m offended you’re not taking me somewhere nicer like Hanbin did for Bobby hyung,” Junhoe teased, grinning when Jinhwan looked annoyed.   
  
“Well, that was a date, and last I checked, we’re not supposed to be dating.” Jinhwan winked at him and Junhoe grinned.   
  
But Jinhwan’s wording was interesting, wasn’t it? _We’re not supposed to be dating._ Probably just a joking slip of the tongue, Junhoe figured. Ah, since when did he ever pay that much attention to phrasing anyway? Usually he was the one sticking his foot in his own mouth, instead of assessing what others were saying.   
  
“Yeah, you couldn’t pay me to date you.” Junhoe teased back, grinning when Jinhwan frowned at him.   
  
“I’m not paying for you anymore,” he replied, kicking Junhoe’s leg under the table, “so I hope you brought your wallet.”   
  
“Hey, you’re the regular here, I’ll just leave and never come back again. Then you’ll have to explain to Bobby and Jiun why you can’t come to their restaurant anymore.” Junhoe laughed when Jinhwan let out an annoyed huff of breath.   
  
“I guess you have a point, which is annoying. Fine, I’ll pay for you this time. Because I’m so nice, and because I have a reputation to maintain.”   
  
“So generous, hyung, I’m not worthy.” Junhoe’s tone was sarcastic and he dodged when Jinhwan kicked at him again.   
  
“No, you’re absolutely not worthy. I’m glad you realize that.” Jinhwan shot back, but it was clear the words were only meant teasingly. There was a warmth in his eyes that made Junhoe smile without really meaning to.   
  
“So, hyung, I’ve been meaning to ask, how did you end up getting into jiu jitsu to begin with?” Junhoe had been curious about the question lately. He wanted to get to know more about Jinhwan than just what he offered on the surface, and there was no easier way to dig for information than jiu jitsu.   
  
Jinhwan grinned back at him before answering. “This might shock you, but I used to get bullied a lot as a kid.” Jinhwan paused for a reaction, but all Junhoe did was roll his eyes dramatically.   
  
“Wow, definitely shocking. If you weren’t such a good fighter I’m sure people would still try to beat you up now, including me,” Junhoe deadpanned his response.   
  
Jinhwan frowned at him. “Are you threatening me? After I just spent two hours manhandling you?”   
  
“I let you!” Junhoe retorted.   
  
Jinhwan grinned back at him. “Precisely, and that’s my point. Anyway, as I was saying, my grandpa got tired of me coming home and complaining about getting knocked around by the other kids. So he decided to sign me up for training.”   
  
Junhoe actually thought it was a neat story. He’d only started because he’d wound up in the wrong class by mistake, but he was glad for it. Jinhwan’s story was far more interesting. “Where’s your grandpa now? Back on Jeju?”   
  
Jinhwan frowned at the question, but he was quick to steel his expression into something a little more pleasant. “I don’t know, actually. I haven’t seen him since my parents divorced a few years ago.”   
  
Junhoe paused, registering Jinhwan’s sudden admission. Jinhwan never mentioned his father, _ever,_ to the point that Junhoe had actually assumed he had died when Jinhwan was young. It had never occurred to him that Jinhwan’s parents had split up. “So I take it he was your dad’s dad?”   
  
Jinhwan nodded. “Yeah. Mom has full custody, but she didn’t forbid him from seeing me or anything like that. He just chose to stop visiting me.” Jinhwan hadn’t talked about his grandfather in a while, wasn’t sure why he was divulging the information now.   
  
“Why did your parents divorce?” Junhoe wasn’t sure what the protocol was for asking someone about their parents in this sort of situation. He actually didn’t know anyone whose parents were divorced. Didn’t even know anyone whose parents fought enough to contemplate divorce.   
  
“Ah, it’s a long story.” Jinhwan said, wondering if he should actually tell Junhoe about it. He never really talked about his parents, hadn’t even thought of his dad in months.   
  
“Well, we’re still waiting for our food, so we have time, if you want to.” Junhoe couldn’t believe he was asking. He usually didn’t pay that much attention to the lives of other people, but he was actually curious about Jinhwan and his situation. Maybe it was because it was the first hint of something vulnerable about him, the first little chink in his armour.   
  
Jinhwan was surprised that Junhoe was asking. Usually when they hung out they kept their conversations away from personal issues. Would it be alright to tell him? Would it ruin things? His family situation wasn’t exactly pleasant. He stared at Junhoe, watching him for a moment, judging if he ought to come clean.   
  
Might as well, if he was curious. “My dad, to put it bluntly, was an irresponsible piece of shit. He drank a lot, wasn’t abusive or anything like that, he was just lazy. Lost his job and developed a gambling problem, used to squander mom’s money. She put up with it for years, I don’t know why. I guess because it was expected of her.”   
  
Junhoe was blown away at the explanation. Not just because of the actual story itself, but just hearing Jinhwan address it. There was a bitterness in his voice that wasn’t usually there. Junhoe was almost sorry for asking now.   
  
Jinhwan continued. “If you asked my grandpa, though, everything was mom’s fault. Dad drank because she prioritized her career with the symphony over her marriage. He lost his job because he drank, so he started gambling because he didn’t have money of his own and he couldn’t stand living off of my mom. If mom had just paid more attention to him, he never would have started that spiral.” Jinhwan was surprised himself at the bitter tone in his voice. Years later, and it still made him so angry to think about. Sure, he had his problems with his mother, but she wasn’t responsible for everything the way his grandfather had tried to say she was.   
  
Junhoe was feeling equally as incensed. “That’s bullshit,” he replied, “how could he say that? You can’t pin that on someone else. Your dad had a responsibility to his family, he should have tried harder to keep his job.”   
  
Junhoe’s outrage mollified Jinhwan’s bitterness somewhat. “I know, though at the time I was too young to understand what was going on. When things really started to get rough, that’s when mom sent me to Seoul for the first time. She wanted me to train with a specific trumpet instructor there, and to be fair I was something of a prodigy, so it worked out. I went to Seoul with my grandpa, it kept me out of the house while dad got really bad. I didn’t know what was going on at the time, though, my mom kept it from me. I didn’t find out until years later, when Seiyeon filled me in.” Jinhwan paused for a moment, feeling slightly vulnerable now that he was going through all the emotions again. He’d buried it for a while, and dredging it back up was painful.   
  
So it was time to switch up the topic. “Anyway, so you can imagine me, this nerdy little ten year old, fresh from the island, going to school with a bunch of city kids who thought I was a dork for playing the trumpet.”   
  
“Is that when you met Bobby?” Junhoe asked, trying to remember if Jinhwan had ever told him about their first meeting.   
  
Jinhwan smiled at the question, because as tough as everything had been at the time, meeting Bobby had been one of the best things that had ever happened to him. “Yeah, he stopped some guys from beating me up one day after school. He became my first Seoul friend. That’s when my grandfather decided to put me in lessons. It helped, gave me confidence to stand up for myself.”   
  
“That’s good, cause who would want to have to rely on Bobby hyung for that long?” Junhoe replied teasingly.   
  
“Actually you don’t know how funny it really is! Fast forward a few years later and Bobby got a mouth on him, developed a habit of talking back to some of the older students. I ended up having to save his ass a few times.” Jinhwan grinned as he thought back on it. It really had been quite the turn around.   
  
“That doesn’t surprise me one bit,” Junhoe replied, envisioning a younger Bobby being chased by older students. “He’s lucky he found you when he did.”   
  
“Sure was.” Jinhwan agreed.   
  
“So, have you ever tried to contact your grandpa?” Junhoe asked, still curious about the family thing.   
  
Jinhwan frowned again, wishing they hadn’t come back to the topic so soon. “No, I actually don’t really want to. He was good to me, but I can’t forgive him so easily for piling all of that on my mom. She was trying her best, and he blamed her anyway even though it wasn’t her fault. Completely absolved my dad of any responsibility. He even manipulated me into blaming her for it all too, because I was too young to think for myself. When Seiyeon told me the truth, though, well. I’d be happy to keep that side of my family cut away. There’s nothing good there.”   
  
Junhoe listened in shock. He couldn’t even fathom wanting nothing to do with his family. How badly would someone have to hurt you in order for you to cut them off completely? He wasn’t entirely sure how to feel about it, wasn’t sure if Jinhwan had made the right choice or not. What if they changed? He’d never know. “That’s really sad, hyung. I don’t know anyone with your kind of situation. I wouldn’t have even thought it was something a real person would go through, it sounds like something from a drama.”   
  
Jinhwan gave him a sad sort of smile. “That’s the thing with people, they get really good at hiding their problems. I bet you’d be shocked at how many people around you have crappy family stories. You just can’t see them, because people will do anything to hide their skeletons.”   
  
“I don’t know, hyung. That’s a lot to hide.”   
  
“If I hadn’t told you, would you have ever guessed it was something like this?” Jinhwan asked, and Junhoe conceded the point to him.   
  
It was just so bizarre, though. The more he heard the harder it was to fathom, but the more he wanted to hear. He couldn’t stop himself before asking the next question, the one he’d _really_ been curious about all this time. “Why doesn’t your mom support your fighting?”   
  
Jinhwan bristled at the question. No. He wasn’t ready to go there just yet. “Sorry, I don’t know if I really want to talk about that.”   
  
Junhoe felt like crap as soon as he saw the way Jinhwan’s face crumpled. _Of course_ he didn’t want to talk about it. “I’m sorry, hyung, I shouldn’t have asked, it just came out,” Junhoe apologized, feeling like absolute scum. “I’m pretty terrible at this sort of stuff, I always end up talking without thinking and saying something that offends someone.”   
  
Jinhwan glanced up at him, feeling bad himself when he heard Junhoe’s voice tinge with regret. He couldn’t fault Junhoe for asking, really, and part of him was surprised that he was only asking now. They were both saved from answering by the appearance of their food. Junhoe was a little too enthusiastic in his response to the waitress and Jinhwan knew it was because he felt bad for prying.   
  
Maybe he should talk about it, though. If he was planning on talking to his mom at some point, it would probably help to vent about everything, and then discuss how to make it better. And Junhoe didn’t know anything about the situation either, it would be a brand new opinion. His own opinion of things had changed in the past few months, after all.   
  
Junhoe cracked an egg into his pot and stirred it silently, feeling awkward in the silence. He really should have kept a firmer handle on himself before he went barreling into Jinhwan’s private life like that. He was just terrible at this, terrible at picking up on cues from others about when enough was enough. Hanbin usually called him on it, and Junhoe really could have used his criticism tonight. So it was a shock when Jinhwan suddenly started talking.   
  
“My grandfather forged my mom’s signature in order to sign me up for lessons,” he began the long explanation, deciding to go for it after all, “maybe she would have said yes and saved us all years of grief if he’d just asked her, I don’t know. But because things with dad were already falling apart, so many things were happening that were out of her control, I guess this just felt like a slap in the face, you know? Like he’d taken away her right as a parent to decide what I needed. He was already blaming her for the marriage failing, and this probably felt like he was judging her parenting too.”   
  
Junhoe paused in his stirring, listening to Jinhwan talk. He’d obviously done a lot of thinking on the subject, and Junhoe was surprised at what he was hearing. How had Jinhwan come up with that idea on his own? It seemed awfully mature given how hurt he clearly was by his family.   
  
“Before she divorced dad, mom was a bit of a pushover. She didn’t really speak up for herself, she’d sooner forget about whatever the problem was and move on. Probably why things got so bad with dad, because she just let it happen and never stood up to him until everything was beyond fixing. But I guess that’s what happened with the jiu jitsu. She felt like she couldn’t do anything to stop it, so instead she just decided to ignore it entirely. It was tough on me, though, I wasn’t old enough to understand. I just came home at Christmas, really excited to show her everything I’d learned, but when I tried to tell her about it she just brushed me off and said that she didn’t want me to do it, that she hated fighting, thought it was barbaric and below me.”   
  
“She said what?” Junhoe bristled at the comments, feeling incensed. So many people held that foolish notion of any sort of fighting style and he was tired of hearing it.   
  
Jinhwan shook his head though. “I don’t know if she really meant it, honestly. I think she was mostly saying it for my grandpa, to try and make him mad. I was too young to understand that, though, and instead I just took it to heart and thought that she actually hated me for choosing to fight.”   
  
“Of course you would!” Junhoe replied, “you were a kid! Your mom shouldn’t have done that to you, no matter what was going on with her and your dad and your grandpa. She was punishing you for what they were doing to her, and that’s bullshit.” He almost couldn’t believe Jinhwan’s story, especially not when he was trying to paint his mom somewhat sympathetically.   
  
Jinhwan stared at Junhoe for a moment before answering, trying to figure out the best way to help Junhoe understand his feelings. He'd already run through the gambit of blaming his mom for how she'd chosen to act, but holding on to those bitter feelings hadn't helped him. “I know, trust me I’m not making excuses for her behaviour, but it’s more complicated than that. She couldn’t fight back against my dad or my grandpa, so she fought back where she could. I think part of it was just bitterness. My dad acted like he was really interested, he’d always ask me about it any chance he got whenever she was around, he always told me that I was probably the best at it. The sort of thing every kid wants to hear from their parents. He kept promising me that he’d come out to Seoul to watch me fight. For years he kept promising me, but he never came. Not once.” He paused, biting the inside of his cheek. Thinking about his father’s string of broken promises was never easy.   
  
“So I kept falling for it, every time, and I was disappointed every time. I kept telling myself that it was probably my fault, that I just wasn’t good enough, that I needed to get better. When I got promoted out of white belt, I thought for sure he’d come. My grandpa promised me that my dad was going to come and see my promotion. But he didn’t. So instead of celebrating something I’d been looking forward to for months, I went home and cried about it all night. Called my mom, but she just told me that it was a sign that I shouldn’t be fighting. That it only made bad things happen.”   
  
Junhoe listened in silence, torn between wanting to argue more about how Jinhwan’s mother shouldn’t have used his dad against the sport like that. But maybe Jinhwan had a point. His mom had been hurting too, and the person who was really at fault was Jinhwan’s dad for continually breaking promises and setting him up for disappointment. Just the idea of a younger Jinhwan looking for his dad at every competition made his heart ache. Junhoe had never once worried about his parents not coming to watch him. They’d always been there, vocal and visible in their support. He’d actually gotten to the point that he’d asked them not to come as often. And there was Jinhwan, begging for anyone in his family to take interest. All he’d had was a manipulative grandfather who created more problems than he solved.   
  
“You know, I kept fighting over the years because my grandpa kept encouraging me, and I kept hoping it would make me dad care more. It wasn’t even for me anymore after a while, it was for my dad. It’s stupid, but at the same time I practiced really hard, and I grew a lot in those years. But then my mom finally got herself together and divorced my dad three years ago.”   
  
“Is that when you moved back to Jeju?” Junhoe asked, remembering Jinhwan’s timeline. He’d gone back to the island for a few years, but he’d never said why.   
  
Jinhwan nodded. “Yeah, at that point I was staying with Bobby’s family, because my grandpa wasn’t really doing well enough to look after me on his own, but no one else from our family could join us in Seoul, and I didn’t want to go back to Jeju. Grandpa was still living in Seoul, at a senior’s home, but he’d come to watch my jiu jitsu matches, and I’d go visit him when I could. All he ever did was complain about my mom, though, say that she was ruining our family. I was so angry about everything that I let him fill me up with bitterness that last year before the divorce. I was blaming her for everything too, even though it was everyone else I was really mad at. He made her an easy target, though. So when I found out about the divorce I was gutted. She wanted me to come back to Jeju, but I didn’t want to go. My whole life was in Seoul, and it was stable for the most part. I didn’t want to leave Bobby and his family. But I didn’t have a choice, she had full custody so I had to do what she wanted.”   
  
Junhoe’s food lay forgotten while he listened, elbow on the table and face in his hand, mouth slightly agape. How could Jinhwan have gone through all of that, but come out seemingly so normal? Junhoe was surprised he wasn’t still filled with anger all the time. “So what happened then? Did you find out what had really been going on?”   
  
Jinhwan nodded, playing absently with his chopsticks. “Yeah, mom tried explaining it at first, but I didn’t want to listen to anything she had to say. I was too angry at her for ruining my life, making me leave everything in Seoul. I didn’t have any friends left on Jeju, I’d been away for too long and I’d changed too much. My jiu jitsu trainer was in Seoul, my trumpet instructor, my friends and Bobby. I was miserable, and I took it out on her without listening to her. Seiyeon tried to explain everything to me, but I was too angry to really let it sink in. It might have worked, but mom said she wasn’t going to let me continue training anymore, said it was the cause for my bad attitude.”   
  
“How did you get her to change her mind?”   
  
Jinhwan grinned suddenly at the memory. “I did something stupid and childish.”   
  
Junhoe’s expression matched Jinhwan’s without him even realizing it. “What?”   
  
“I ran away. Thankfully it was summer break, so it was nice out. I was determined to go and find my dad, because I’d worked it into my head that all along it had been mom who wasn’t letting him come to watch my fights. I couldn’t find him, though, spent a few nights sleeping on the beach.”   
  
Junhoe was floored by the answer. Running away from home was one more thing he’d heard of people doing, in dramas and books and movies, but it wasn’t something he’d actually thought that real people did. “What happened? Did you go back home?”   
  
Jinhwan grinned again and shook his head. “I got picked up by the police, finally. Mom had a friend on the force, he’s the guy who found me and brought me home. We talked on the way there, and he asked me why I’d left. I told him it was because she wouldn’t let me train.” Jinhwan couldn’t help but laugh at it now, it was so stupid.   
  
Junhoe laughed too, and it felt like a weight was lifted from his shoulders when he heard Jinhwan’s improved tone. It actually wasn’t all that surprising now that he thought about it. Jinhwan did have a rash and impetuous streak about him. “You know, that’s actually kind of hilarious, I can picture you in the police car, complaining about it.”   
  
“Yeah, fifteen year old me with my clothes full of sand, yelling about jiu jitsu to a police officer. It must have sounded ridiculous.” He paused again and watched as Junhoe finally took a bite of his food. Jinhwan looked at his own, twirled his chopsticks again. “I remember when he brought me back. I was expecting her to yell at me and be angry, but instead she just ran up and hugged me, crying. I’d never seen her like that before, genuinely sad and upset. It was always usually overruled by bitter anger. Before he left the officer told her that she should just let me continue training if it meant that much to me. He gave her the information for the gym where his brother trained. So in the end she relented and said she’d let me start again, but only if I kept my marks perfect and trained extra hard in music. I did, but it was tough. I worked harder for those months than I’d ever worked before, I was exhausted and miserable. I actually thought about giving up jiu jitsu, because it had become such a sore topic between us. She’d agreed to let me train, but she wasn’t happy about it. I felt like I was always walking on eggshells.”   
  
Junhoe stopped eating again, halting with his spoon halfway to his mouth. “You almost quit? What made you stay?”   
  
Jinhwan smiled at the memory of that time, when everything turned around so unexpectedly after feeling so bleak and hopeless. “That’s when I got a new trainer, and he made everything better.”   
  
Junhoe grinned and slurped down his spoonful before speaking. “That’s when you met Eric.”   
  
Jinhwan nodded. “He’d just moved back to Korea after being in the US. I don’t know if it was just because he was younger, or if working in the US had changed him, but he was so different from the other trainers. Everyone before him had been strictly professional, and we never talked about anything other than jiu jitsu. But Eric made a point of getting to know everyone. Instead of just trying to be my instructor, he tried to be my friend, and I really needed a friend at that time. I tried not to at first, but it’s like he could sense that something was wrong. So one day after training, he offered to take me out for dinner, so we could have a chance to talk. I ended up telling him everything about my family, and honestly it was the best decision I’d made. He’s the reason why I started to understand things with my mom. Seiyeon had told me everything, but I never really understood it. But he had a way of breaking it all down that made sense to me, helped me see that it had never been _me_ that she’d been mad at, it hadn’t even been the sport. It was always my dad, and my grandpa. It helped me so much, I honestly don’t know what I would have done without him. I probably would have quit, and I would have been miserable. Instead he helped me feel like it was worth it, made me feel like I was worth something in the sport. When my grandpa was there, his support had always come at the expense of tarnishing my mom’s name. But Eric made it about me, and on top of that he helped me see that my mom wasn’t the villain I’d thought she was. He helped me understand that she was a victim too.”   
  
Junhoe couldn’t believe that Jinhwan’s relationship with Eric Kwon had gone beyond regular student and teacher. To think that he’d shared so much of himself with him and had gotten so much in return was just absolutely wild to Junhoe. He was a little jealous of Jinhwan, because who wouldn’t want an older brother figure like that in their life?   
  
Jinhwan couldn’t believe he’d just explained it all to Junhoe. Couldn’t believe he’d gone that far. It felt good to unload, though, to bring it all up again and tell someone about it. It’s not that he actively hid his past. He just preferred to not bring it up. Sometimes it was good to rehash old hurts, though, just to make sure that you were healing. And though it still hurt to think about those times, it didn’t hurt as much as it had in the past.   
  
“I’ve been thinking about trying again, with my mom. Trying to get her to accept it and stop being so against it, at least. Every time I’ve tried before, I never approached it the way I should have. I just yelled and tried to guilt her into supporting me, like some whiny, entitled kid. I always tried to make her feel bad, instead of acknowledging that I understood what she’d gone through with my dad.”   
  
“You shouldn’t have to do that, though. How many years has it been since the divorce? Your mom should have figured out her problems by now and apologized to you.” While it was nice that Jinhwan seemed to be so mature about the situation, Junhoe didn’t think he should have to be, and it didn’t really seem fair to him.   
  
“Pain doesn’t just go away that easily,” Jinhwan replied, and he hoped he could make Junhoe understand. It was difficult to accept that kind of mindset when nothing bad had ever happened in your life, though. “She spent years being miserable with my dad. It takes a long time to get over stuff like that, especially if you just bury it instead of deal with it. Burying problems is kind of a family trait.”   
  
Junhoe didn’t necessarily agree with Jinhwan, but then he’d never really been in a bad situation before. The worst thing that had ever happened to him was the few months after he’d come out as gay, but he’d had Hanbin through all of that, so he hadn’t actually been alone. Maybe he just didn’t understand.   
  
“Like I said before, I’m not trying to make excuses for her. But what’s the point in sitting here and talking about what she should have done? It won’t change what did happen. She’s probably still clinging to a lot of pain about the divorce, I don’t think she ever talked to anyone about it. I just want her to know that I understand how she’s feeling. I want her to know that I don’t blame her for not being there for me. I think that might help her come around.” He forced himself to take a bite of his food before it got cold, even though his appetite had receded a bit with the conversation.   
  
“Ever since Seiyeon came to watch me, I just,” Jinhwan paused, taking a deep breath to control his breathing, “I just really want her to come. I want her to be able to watch me fight and not think about dad, or grandpa. I want her to just think about me, and to realize that it makes me happy. I want that to be enough.”   
  
Junhoe wasn’t sure what to say. Wasn’t sure if there even was anything he could say. This was such a different side to Jinhwan than he was used to seeing, mature and emotional and thoughtful. It made his heart ache a little, made him feel even closer to him than he already felt. Clearly Jinhwan must be feeling it too, if he’d divulged everything. Junhoe was shit at talking, though, so if there was an appropriate response to the conversation, he’d never think of it. Instead he reached out for Jinhwan’s hand, squeezing it tightly and hoping that would help in some small way.   
  
Jinhwan didn’t say anything else. The hardest part of it all was what he’d just said. As much as the past hurt, it was already over, already dealt with. But worrying about the future was the most painful part. Acknowledging a level that he wanted to reach with his mom, but not knowing for certain if it could ever be attained. That was the scary part. Would he be walking on eggshells forever, or had he learned enough over the past few months to finally achieve the result he was so desperate for?   
  
Dwelling on what could happen wasn’t worth it, though. He couldn’t allow himself to be dragged down by it constantly. He was going to try again, but until he sat down face to face with his mother, he couldn’t spend his days obsessing over it. That wouldn’t help.   
  
With that decided he looked up at Junhoe, who was still staring at him. Jinhwan was surprised by the look—a mixture of worry, sadness, and even affection. It was nice to see someone looking at him like that again, but it was ill-timed. He had to remember that. Letting this get too far would only hurt when he left. He squeezed Junhoe’s hand back before withdrawing it.   
  
“Thanks for listening to all of that,” Jinhwan said, “I know it was pretty heavy.”   
  
“Yeah, well, I’m pretty strong,” Junhoe replied, hoping that Jinhwan wouldn’t be offended by his half joke. He could do humour and anger well, but anything else got him really uncomfortable.   
  
Jinhwan grinned at him though. “Stronger than you look,” he teased back, “but I mean it. I haven’t told anyone everything I’ve told you. Bobby knows about what happened with my family, but we haven’t talked about it in a while, not since I’ve changed my mind about some things, at least. So it was nice, telling someone who didn’t know all the details.”   
  
Junhoe felt relieved with his response. “Well, consider yourself lucky, because I’m usually a pretty crappy listener.”   
  
“I can’t say that surprises me,” Jinhwan replied, before picking his chopsticks back up and pulling his food closer to him. “Sorry I interrupted our meal, too. I hope it didn’t get too cold.”   
  
Junhoe took a bite of the beef. “It’s still warm, we’re okay. Just eat fast.” For some reason that made Jinhwan laugh, and Junhoe was happy to hear it. All traces of unhappy feelings left the table then, and they went back to their usual banter.   
  
But Junhoe wasn’t going to forget the discussion, wasn’t going to forget Jinhwan’s story. He wondered if that had anything to do with his refusal to date right now. Wondered if there was anything he could do to help him get over it all. He normally didn’t try to take an active part in anyone else’s problems, but the more time he spent with Jinhwan, the more he was starting to realize how much he _liked_ him. Should he bring up their status, try to figure out the reason why Jinhwan didn’t want to date? Maybe he should just leave it, though. They’d gotten through one heavy conversation, no need for a second so soon. Besides, they practically  _were_ dating, except they just weren’t calling it that. Maybe he just needed to enjoy it without thinking of what could happen. He still had a lot of things to experience, after all. Maybe it was best to do it all with no expectations.


	36. The Past and The Present

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bobby and Hanbin have a very important talk about themselves, and they both learn some unexpected things.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just Double B this chapter. It's time to finally learn some things about Hanbin's first relationship!

_-u busy? need to talk to u bout somethin-_  
  
Hanbin opened the message again, staring down at the words while he waited for Bobby. It was Friday night, and they hadn’t seen each other since the basketball final on Wednesday. They’d barely talked yesterday or today, though it wasn’t for lack of trying on his part. He’d sent Bobby his usual daily texts and while Bobby had replied to them, those replies hadn’t offered much in return.  
  
He’d been worried about the outcome of the game before it had happened, wondered if Bobby would be sour over losing. He’d seemed surprisingly okay in the moment after the game, in better spirits than Hanbin had expected. But the silence ever since was eating at Hanbin, making him nervous about whether or not it had all been an act. Was Bobby feeling weird about the loss now? What kind of a message was that anyway? He needed to talk but didn’t say what it was about. Didn’t even respond except to confirm a meeting place.  
  
And now Bobby was late, on top of it. The whole thing just made Hanbin nervous, and he was nervous about things with Bobby so rarely. In fact he hadn’t felt this off about things since that one time at Bobby’s, when he’d brushed Bobby off on the bed. They’d worked things out that time in the moment, but it had momentarily reminded him of Woosung, reminded him of a time when he’d always felt nervous, always felt insecure in his relationship. He hated the feeling.  
  
But now Bobby was bringing it out and Hanbin had to tamp down on his nerves. Bobby had probably just missed the train or something, he’d probably be here any second.  
  
Hanbin kept staring at his phone, annoyed that Bobby hadn’t even sent him a message to say he was running late. That wasn’t too much to expect, was it? That he’d be alerted to a change in timing? He’d do it if he was running late.  
  
He forced himself to close his eyes for a moment and calm himself down. Bobby had been late for dates before (hell, Hanbin himself had been late on occasion too) so this didn’t mean anything. But that coupled with how quiet he’d been and Hanbin couldn’t help but feel worried. Of course it was only two days after the final, so he couldn’t really fault Bobby for feeling upset about things now if that was the case.  
  
But part of the problem was that Hanbin just didn’t know what the problem was. When you didn’t know, then waiting became torture. Hanbin wasn’t in the habit of torturing himself, so everything was making him feel exponentially worse.  
  
But then finally he looked up across the street and saw Bobby, waiting to cross at the light. He had his hands stuffed in the pockets of his jacket and had exchanged his usual snapback for a beanie. Hanbin thought it made him look cute. The light changed and Bobby started across the street and Hanbin rose up from his seat to go and meet him, desperate to look him in the eyes and make sure that they were still okay.  
  
But Bobby was all smiles when he got to him.  
  
“Hey, sorry I’m late, missed my train but I didn’t realize how late it was.”  
  
Hanbin nodded and let him off the hook for this one, only because Bobby didn’t seem like he was here to deliver bad news. “Don’t worry about it, hyung, it’s fine.”  
  
Bobby reached for his hand, squeezing it tightly in his grip. “Let’s go get some food and sit by the river. Unless you’re too cold?”  
  
Hanbin squeezed back. “No I’m fine, it’s not that bad out yet.” He followed Bobby down to the row of food vendors, content to let him lead the way and pick the food. He was just relieved that Bobby seemed to be in good spirits.  
  
Bobby was in good spirits, even though he was feeling slightly nervous. Upon getting home on Wednesday after the dinner with his family, he thought he’d been fine. But when he’d laid down to sleep all he’d kept thinking about in his head were all the things he could have done differently. All the plays he could have run instead, the line changes he could have made. He didn’t sleep a wink that night and when Thursday morning came around he was exhausted and feeling sick to his stomach, nervous about what people would say to him at school. He’d been certain that he’d be greeted to a chorus of jeers, angry outbursts about his relationship fucking up the game.  
  
He hadn’t been, but he had felt like everyone’s eyes were on him all day. Jinhwan had told him he was being ridiculous but Bobby couldn’t shake it. He felt like he’d let everyone down, and of course not sleeping hadn’t helped matters, and then Hanbin had kept texting him all day like nothing was wrong, like he hadn’t just beaten Bobby _again_. He couldn’t be mad at Hanbin, maybe he was just trying to act like nothing was wrong because he didn’t think Bobby would want him to act differently. But seeing all the texts while at school had just made him feel like more of a traitor to his team.  
  
Then he’d gotten home and spent the night with his dad, getting his help on trying to figure out how to draw people. He was going to Hanbin’s on the weekend for his birthday, and he hadn’t forgotten his promise to Hanbyul.  
  
He’d left his phone in his room, though. He’d come back to it three hours later to a few messages from Hanbin and even though he hadn’t asked why he was being ignored, Bobby still felt guilty.  
  
He felt like he was drowning in guilt, and so he’d spent another night tossing and turning, certain that he hadn’t fallen asleep until barely an hour before his alarm went off. That was followed by another day of being sure that everyone was watching him, and half ignoring Hanbin.  
  
By the time he’d gotten home he knew that he had to do something to fix at least one part of his problems. It was pointless to feel like he’d betrayed his team if he wasn’t making an effort with Hanbin to put the loss behind him. And when it came down to it, he only had a few months of school left, while he wanted more time than that with Hanbin. So the sequence of priority right now was pretty clear.  
  
Even though they were both smiling at each other Bobby could feel the tension that was there. Usually he disentangled himself from people when things got like this, but he couldn’t do that with Hanbin. Wasn’t willing to walk away. He had to try and get over whatever his issue was, had to make things as good as they’d been. Hopefully better after they talked. So once they had their food Bobby led them to a spot on the grass on the bank of the Han river, sitting down and pulling Hanbin down next to him. Bobby leaned over suddenly to plant a kiss on Hanbin’s cheek, and the happy look Hanbin got made a warm feeling spread itself out from Bobby’s chest. He could do this. He could have this talk and try to figure out what his problem was, and how to fix it.  
  
“So, Bin, I have some things that I feel like I need to explain to you. I don’t know if you’ve noticed them or not, but they’re there and I want them to get better. So I think we should talk about them.”  
  
Even though Hanbin had been expecting a talk of some sort, Bobby’s sudden confession caught him by surprise. He held his fork halfway to his mouth, hovering in the air for a moment while he looked at Bobby. He wasn’t sure what Bobby was talking about, so he just nodded for him to go on.  
  
Now that Bobby had said that he wanted to talk, he wasn’t entirely sure where to start. He felt frozen, like the words in his brain were jumbled and refused to sort themselves out. His mother always told him to write things down when he got upset, and he was wishing he’d listened to her for once.  
  
The longer it took Bobby to talk, the more nervous and worried Hanbin felt. This seemed serious, and his relieved mood of minutes ago was gone already. “Is this about the game?”  
  
“Yeah, kind of,” Bobby replied, but honestly the game was such a small part of it and he almost felt like blaming it on that would be taking the easy way out, “actually no, it’s not really about the game, it’s just about me.”  
  
Hanbin felt a chill run through him at the response. Wasn’t that how people started their breakup talks? _It’s not you, it’s me._ Bobby wasn’t _that_ upset about losing, was he?  
  
“Look, I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but sometimes I get a little insecure about us.”  
  
They stared at each other after Bobby’s comment, both of them feeling breathless. Bobby couldn’t believe he’d finally admitted it out loud to Hanbin, and Hanbin just couldn’t believe it at all.  
  
“What do you mean, you get insecure?” Hanbin hadn’t noticed. What was Bobby talking about? He thought he’d seemed pretty certain lately, he’d seemed confident in what they had.  
  
Bobby cocked his head at Hanbin’s answer, like he was surprised that Hanbin seemed so clueless. “Well, don’t you remember the whole violinist thing?”  
  
“Yeah, but that wasn’t serious. I thought you were just annoyed that we kept talking about him.” Sure, Bobby had seemed a little upset over it, but it had only been for a few minutes.  
  
Had Hanbin truly not even noticed that Bobby had been so worked up about those situations? Sure, Bobby had tried to hide it, but had he really hidden it that well? Jinhwan had noticed. But then Jinhwan had known him a lot longer, and Jinhwan had seem him angry and upset enough times to figure the signs out. Bobby tried his best to never be upset when Hanbin was around.  
  
“Bin, I was really jealous about the whole violin thing, I mean you were right next to me, gushing over the guy, about how attractive he was, and he just made this huge impact on you and I felt like it overshadowed me.” Bobby was honestly surprised he’d gotten the words out. His instinct right now was to flee from the conversation, to protect his severely wounded pride from getting hit any harder tonight. It was a struggle to stay there, to give Hanbin a chance to respond without telling him to forget everything and say he was only joking. He’d never opened up to a guy like this before, never let himself be vulnerable to someone he was dating. It wasn’t his style, and he felt so uncomfortable doing it. But he had to keep telling himself that he was doing it for a reason. He kept thinking about his conversation with Jiun, that all his problems stemmed from not knowing _why_ Hanbin liked him so much. A big part of getting over that was admitting his insecurity. He was hoping it would make Hanbin realize how important it all was to him.  
  
Hanbin felt insulted by the comment. It almost felt like an accusation to him, like Bobby was accusing him of something. He’d been so certain that Bobby wasn’t the type of guy to be threatened by anyone, to get jealous or feel insecure like this. It was a big part of the reason why Hanbin liked him so much. He needed someone confident, someone who wouldn’t feel threatened by everything. He’d thought Bobby was like that. Had he been wrong all this time?  
  
“It wasn’t just the talking, but you changed your lock screen, from a picture of us to a picture of him, and then you and Jinan talking that night, and when you said, well, you know what you said. And it really bothered me.” There were some things Bobby just couldn’t bring himself to say, and repeating those words were something he just couldn’t do in the moment.  
  
Hanbin was confused, though. What had he said that had offended Bobby so much? He barely remembered the night, aside from the five of them having a fun time together. “What did I say?”  
  
Bobby frowned at him, wondering if Hanbin was doing it on purpose or if he really didn’t realize. Maybe Bobby had just been blowing everything out of proportion. But it was out now, so even though it was another blow to his ego, he couldn’t not clear it up. “When you said that you’d let him fuck you.”  
  
Hanbin didn’t know what to say at first. Was Bobby really that bothered by the comment? Hanbin couldn’t even joke around without Bobby getting upset about it and stewing over it for weeks? That wasn’t the kind of relationship he wanted. “Are you for real? I was talking about some stupid little celebrity crush, it wasn’t serious.”  
  
“It sounded serious, okay?” Bobby couldn’t help but get defensive with Hanbin’s response. Did Hanbin not see how something like that could have hurt him so much? Did he really lack that much awareness?  
  
Hanbin shook his head and looked away at the water, feeling frustration creep up uninvited. Everything about this was reminding him of Woosung, reminding him of all the things he wanted to avoid in a boyfriend. “It was a joke, hyung. Sorry if it bothered you so much.”  
  
Bobby bristled at Hanbin’s tone—he was clearly not apologizing. “Look, you just said it so soon after turning me down, okay? Don’t you remember that? Like, I told you that I wasn’t used to waiting, and then you go and say that you’d let some other guy fuck you, and yeah it made me jealous. I’m sorry, but it did. I don’t think I’m wrong in feeling that way.”  
  
Hanbin looked back at him, surprised and a little upset he’d brought it up. “Yeah, I remember that alright. You talking about all the guys you’d been with, complaining about me.” Okay maybe he was only saying that because he was feeling defensive, because Bobby hadn’t really been complaining. He’d been trying to explain, but his explanation had been lacking.  
  
“I wasn’t complaining, Hanbin. And I’m sorry for bringing that up, but I needed to make my point. You don’t always think about other people before saying things, Jinhwan’s the same way. It’s like you don’t get offended or upset as easily as most people. But I do, and when you said that, it felt like you were comparing us, and I felt like I was on the losing side. And I’m not used to that feeling.”  
  
Hanbin looked away again, felt like he’d just been kicked in the stomach. He wanted to lash out in response, but he couldn’t, because he knew Bobby was right. He didn’t usually think about other people’s feelings before speaking. His mom often called him out on it, but he’d never really tried to change it. Maybe he should have tried a little harder.  
  
Bobby wasn’t sure if he was going about this the right way or not. He’d thought Hanbin would have been a little more understanding, and the sudden coldness was surprising. “I just feel like you can do better than me, okay? That violin guy was better than me, so it just brought up all of these feelings I had about not being good enough for you.”  
  
Hanbin stiffened at the comments. When had he _ever_ given Bobby the impression that he wasn’t enough? He couldn’t help but bristle at it, the way it kept reminding him of his last relationship. “Then why are we together?” Hanbin asked, trying his best not to get too defensive. “If you don’t trust me, then what’s the point?”  
  
Oh no. Bobby could practically feel the blood draining out of his face at Hanbin’s retort. That wasn’t what he’d meant at all! “I do trust you, Hanbin, you’re not the problem.”  
  
“Bullshit. Let me guess, it’s not me, it’s just everyone else you’re worried about?” Hanbin fired back, angry and hurt over the accusation he thought he was hearing.  
  
“Not everyone else,” Bobby replied, surprised he was still trying, surprised he hadn’t run yet, “just everyone that’s better than me.”  
  
Hanbin shook his head and looked back at the river again. He could barely keep a grip on his feelings, barely even knew what he was feeling. Everything was so surprising at the moment.  
  
“Bin, I think, I just think I’m not doing a good job explaining how I feel.” Bobby reached out for his hand, his face dropping when Hanbin didn’t squeeze back, didn’t even look at him. “I’m not accusing you of anything, I said at the start that this is about me. I told you that I’m not used to being with guys who are better than me, and well, you _are_ better than me, at everything. I’m used to being in a position where I’m the really impressive one, and it’s hard on me not being that guy anymore. I really like you, but I just don’t really know _why_ you like me.”  
  
“Oh, so you just want me to compliment you, is that it?” Hanbin replied, not able to hear Bobby’s actual insecurity through his own fears.  
  
“No, Hanbin, I’m trying to explain to you what my problem is.” Bobby wasn’t sure what else he could say to make Hanbin get it. “I know I’m crap at this, at talking about my feelings, and I could have just gone on pretending that nothing was wrong. But the problem is that I really like you, and I want to make things better.”  
  
Hanbin didn’t respond to that, was too caught up in his own feelings to decipher what Bobby was trying to do.  
  
Bobby tugged on his hand. “Hanbin, look at me, please.” His tone was firmer than he’d been so far, and it seemed to shock Hanbin into turning his head and looking at him. “I don’t want to feel insecure about you, or us, and I don’t want to feel bad when you talk about some stupid celebrity. But I do feel bad, and I can’t fix it by myself.”  
  
Hanbin finally snapped out of himself, finally heard Bobby and understand the difference. He squeezed Bobby’s hand back and whispered to himself. “You’re not Woosung.” Bobby cocked his head in confusion at the comment, and it made Hanbin smile. “I’m sorry, I don’t think I’ve been listening to you properly.”  
  
The relief hit Bobby so hard he slumped forward a little, breathing deep to settle his nerves. He didn’t know what he’d said to get through to Hanbin, but he could feel the difference now.  
  
“Everything you said so far has just been so similar to what happened in my last relationship, but even though it’s similar that doesn’t mean it’s the same. I guess I just got scared for a minute because it reminded me of that.” Hanbin met his eyes and held them, surprised at how much fear and relief he saw in them. It was a different look than what he’d seen in Woosung’s eyes.  
  
“What happened with you and Woosung anyway?” Bobby didn’t really want to talk about Hanbin’s ex, but it seemed important, and it was also an easy way to deflect away from himself for a minute so he could catch his breath.  
  
“I’ll tell you about Woosung, but I think we should focus on us first. You’re not used to opening up, and you opened up to me but I tried to shut you out. I’m sorry, I apologize for that. I want you to say what you need to say. I think it’s important for me to listen.”  
  
Bobby nodded, squeezing Hanbin’s hand back. Hanbin was right, even though he’d said a lot already, he felt like there was more he needed to say. If he didn’t get it out now, he might hold onto it, and he didn’t want to hold onto anything. “I meant it before, that I need to know what you like about me. Maybe you don’t agree with me, but I do feel like you’re so much better than me at everything, and it’s hard for me to cope with that. I don’t just mean basketball, but you have boxing too, and you’re really good at it. Basketball was all I had, and you were better. But you’re smarter than me too, and it just feels like you’re so much more put together than me. Remember when I said I was taking a year off before university to figure things out? Well I meant it. I have no idea what I want to do, and you have three great options for your future, and no matter what you pick I know you’ll be successful. But I come from a family who isn’t concerned with that, and my parents always tell me that it doesn’t matter what I do, as long as I love doing it. I just feel worried that that isn’t good enough for you. I feel like you deserve someone who can be as successful as you’ll be. That’s why I feel so insecure.”  
  
Hanbin heard it all, and he really fought to hear it all from Bobby’s point of view. Bobby wasn’t doubting them as a couple. He was just doubting himself, and Hanbin needed to help him feel better about it all if he wanted them to stay together. “I get it, and honestly I guess it’s not really that surprising now that I think about it. Our parents are so different, like you said yours are concerned about your happiness above everything else, your parents don’t really expect you to do anything for yourself, and you’re the youngest, you have an older brother. But I am the older brother, and I’m so much older than my sister I’m almost like a second dad, really. My parents have always expected me to figure things out by myself, and they always told me that I was smart enough to make good decisions for myself. So I grew up being really confident in myself, I don’t judge myself against other people, and I think you do. That’s the biggest thing, I think. I don’t ever compare us that way, but I feel like you think you’re in some kind of competition with me. You’re older, so you’re supposed to be better than me. You look up to your brother, and you want me to look up to you.”  
  
Bobby felt embarrassed that Hanbin seemed to dissect it so quickly, but also so accurately. Just proving his superior intelligence again. “Yeah, you said it. I compare myself to you and I lose every time, and when I meet someone better than me, I usually do everything I can to avoid them. But I don’t want to avoid you, I like you too much.”  
  
Hanbin frowned as he listened, wishing that he could have noticed something sooner so they’d never had to get to this point. Was that his fault? For only seeing what he wanted to see, and ignoring the parts he didn’t want? If he’d paid more attention, learned how to read Bobby better, maybe they could have fixed this sooner. “I do look up to you. I guess you don’t realize that.”  
  
Bobby was surprised at Hanbin’s answer. “Why, though? You beat me at everything, what could you possibly look up to me for? And don’t make some joke about your height. I’m serious. I don’t want you to say things to me because you think they’ll help. Don’t say it unless you mean it.”  
  
Hanbin knew what he had to do in order to really get his point across, and it was something he was a little afraid of admitting, because he didn’t usually talk about his own issues. But it was something Bobby needed to know.  
  
But first he needed to take him somewhere.  
  
“It’ll help if I tell you about Woosung,” Hanbin replied, “but there’s something I want to show you first. It’s not far, it’s just this spot under the bridge.”  
  
Bobby was surprised at the request. What could that possibly have to do with anything? But the look on Hanbin’s face was serious. “Of course, show me.”  
  
Hanbin knew it was a weird request, but he felt relieved when Bobby so quickly agreed to go with him. “We should probably get rid of the food too, it’s all cold now. I’ll buy us some more later. And don’t complain about the money. We both know my parents make way more than yours, so, just deal with it, okay?” He stood up and grabbed his containers, looking down at Bobby.  
  
Bobby couldn’t help but grin up at him, because he’d been just about to complain about Hanbin offering to pay for more. But Hanbin was right. It was stupid to worry about who was paying the majority of the time when Hanbin’s family obviously had so much more than Bobby’s. “Alright, I promise I’ll let you buy us dinner later and I won’t complain.” He stood up too and together they went to toss out their containers. Then Hanbin took his hand and led him down towards the edge of the river bank, and Bobby felt a little weird about following Hanbin, but he knew it was something he’d have to work on.  
  
If he was lucky enough to keep Hanbin for as long as he wanted him (which Bobby was pretty sure was going to be forever) there was going to come a time when he’d probably be the one doing all the following. Hanbin was worth the shift, though.  
  
“So, there’s this spot under the bridge, it’s nothing special, just a little slab of concrete that you have to climb around the post to get to, but it’s secluded and private. I used to go there by myself all the time and think. When I first started to come to terms with being gay, I used to come here and sit by myself and think about guys. I thought about how to come out to my family and my friends. It was my safe spot to be gay and not worry about what that meant.”  
  
Bobby listened to Hanbin’s explanation, and the weight of what Hanbin was going to show him was creeping up. Bobby had never had anything like that, but then he’d never had to figure out that he was gay by himself. Jinhwan had been there for his entire realization, helping Bobby navigate it all. Bobby had never felt the need to have to hide it from him the way Hanbin must have felt at first.  
  
“Once I came out, I’d still come here and sit by myself, just daydreaming a lot of the time about guys. I used to have this dorky dream about boxing, about being a professional and fighting on a huge pay per view card in New York. I’d win, of course, and then to celebrate I’d get my boyfriend in the ring and kiss him, right there in front of the camera. I wanted to be the first gay boxer that really made it big, wanted to prove to everyone that gay guys were tough.”  
  
Bobby was smiling through the whole thing. It was an awfully adorable thing to contemplate, a younger Hanbin fantasizing about being a sporting icon for the gay community. It sounded exactly like the sort of thing he’d expect Hanbin to fantasize about, and it made Bobby’s heart swell with affection for him.  
  
“I told you about how I had trouble at first at my club, about the guy who used to harass me all the time? I used to come here and fantasize about kicking his ass too,” Hanbin looked back at Bobby and grinned, and Bobby laughed but squeezed his hand, “so yeah, it was a spot that just held a lot of importance for me. Maybe it’s dumb to put that much importance on a slab of concrete that’s public property, but I did. It was so important that when I finally got my first boyfriend, I decided to bring him here and show him.”  
  
They reached the stairwell that went down to the little maintenance area under the bridge, and Hanbin squeezed Bobby’s hand before letting it go. Bobby followed him down the stairs, and when Hanbin mentioned bringing Woosung here, everything started clicking into place for Bobby. Now he understood why Hanbin wanted to bring him here, understood that he was probably going to learn something very important about Hanbin’s past. His protective instincts flared up out of nowhere, but he tamped them down for now. Hanbin didn’t need his protection, no matter how badly Bobby wanted him to need it. But Hanbin wanted to share, so that would have to be good enough for Bobby.  
  
“I thought Woosung would appreciate seeing it, you know? I thought he’d understand how special it was, I thought that showing it to him would make him feel special. Maybe he did get it, I don’t know, but at the time it seemed like he didn’t care. We got there, and all he did was look around and say _wow, look at how private this is, no one can see us,_ and it was obvious that he was only thinking about how good of a make out spot it was.” Hanbin didn’t look back at Bobby now, felt too vulnerable for that. It wasn’t often that he ever expressed his own insecurities, and this story was one he’d never told anyone (not his parents, not even Junhoe).  
  
Bobby was sure he knew where the story was going, and he felt angry on Hanbin’s behalf. As nice as it was to find some private spot, how could Hanbin’s ex have underplayed the importance of what he was being shown, just for the hope of getting something out of it? Hanbin had tried to share something personal, and instead Woosung had thought about sex?  
  
_Ah, Jiwon, don’t be such a hypocrite!_ The truth was that were he coming here with any of his exes, Bobby knew for a fact that he wouldn’t have cared either, just like Woosung hadn’t cared. When you were young and desperate for any bit of action you could get, emotions only got in the way. But they weren’t getting in the way now despite being just as desperate. He honestly wasn’t even _thinking_ about doing anything with Hanbin here. Was that a sign of maturity? Was he growing up a little? Maybe.  
  
Maybe it just meant that he was in love, that he prioritized Hanbin’s feelings above his own needs.  
  
“So we stood there and I tried telling him about the history of the spot, how I used to come here and try to figure myself out, used to try and figure life out. But instead of listening to me, he just pushed me up against the wall and kissed me. Said that none of it mattered now because I was out, everything had worked out for me, so I should focus on the present instead of the past. I just followed what he told me, instead of fighting with him to try and make him understand how important it was to me personally.”  
  
Bobby felt nearly outraged at the story, half out of sympathy for Hanbin, and half out of fear that he’d done something like that to one of his exes. Jinhwan had teased him with every break up that he’d broken a new heart, and Bobby had always thought he’d been joking. What if he hadn’t been joking, though? What if those guys had felt way stronger feelings for Bobby than he’d felt himself? What if he’d left a few guys feeling like shit, heartbroken and used?  
  
Maybe that’s why he’d fallen so hard for Hanbin. Maybe this was God’s way of making him realize everything he’d done wrong with his exes. Maybe he was supposed to understand how bad it felt to feel so in love with someone who was better than you were, to fear how much it would hurt to be left behind. Now that he’d finally admitted it all, God was granting him the ability to make up for it by helping Hanbin through whatever scars he had left from Woosung.  
  
Bobby was going to do exactly that. Maybe he only thought that Hanbin didn’t _need_ him because Hanbin had never felt comfortable enough to tell him that. Bobby had a feeling that maybe he was going to get it now.  
  
Hanbin carried on with the story, still not looking back at Bobby yet, hoping that Bobby would understand where he was going with this, that everything would make sense afterwards. “Anyway, don’t get me wrong with Woosung. It’s not like I hadn’t brought him here precisely so we could make out, because I did. I just wanted him to care about my story first. But he didn’t care, and it really hurt me.” They finally reached the bottom of the staircase, which led into a locked metal door. Hanbin turned around to face Bobby.  
  
Bobby was hit hard by the mixture of emotions he could see on Hanbin’s face. The worry present in the crease of his brow, the sadness captured in the pout of his lips, but the insecurity in his usually confident eyes is what did Bobby in. He reached out and grabbed Hanbin’s hand, squeezing tightly.  
  
“I care about it,” he whispered, a surge of renewed confidence bustling through him at the way his words seem to relieve Hanbin, “I care about you.”  
  
Even though Hanbin had been confident that Bobby would understand, the words burst through him and released an intense wave of relief. He leaned forward and pecked Bobby lightly on the cheek. “Thanks.” Bobby just smiled back in that dopey, affectionate grin, and Hanbin had never felt more in love with him. “It’s a little tough to get to, we have to shimmy across the ledge on the outside of the column here, it’s on the other side. So be careful, since it’s a little dark.”  
  
Bobby nodded and squeezed Hanbin’s hand one last time before letting it go. “Lead the way! I’ll be right behind you.” Of course he was talking about right now, but he felt an odd sense of comfort in thinking about the future too. Only minutes ago he’d been certain that the idea of following Hanbin for the rest of his life would be difficult to deal with, but now he felt like he wanted nothing more than that. Just because you let someone else lead the way, it didn’t mean you had to give anything up. Instead of _following_ Hanbin, maybe what he’d really be doing was _supporting_ him. That change in words made all the difference to Bobby.  
  
Hanbin smiled back, grateful for Bobby’s response. He’d been right before in realizing that all he’d been doing earlier was projecting his insecurities about his prior relationship onto this one. Bobby wasn’t Woosung, and Woosung wasn’t even a bad guy. He just hadn’t been the right guy for Hanbin. Bobby was the right guy, though, he was sure of it. Hanbin hopped up onto the ledge, standing on his toes to shuffle across the thin expanse of concrete. It wasn’t a difficult climb, just awkward, and he felt a little nervous about coming back here again. What if someone else had taken over his spot? What is someone else was there right now?  
  
He cleared the corner and saw that it was empty, though. Looking at it again he wondered if Bobby would think he was stupid for putting so much emotional importance on a spot. It was just a secluded little slab of concrete, nothing worth getting excited over. But it wasn’t the place that mattered, but all the memories he’d made here for himself. He hopped off the ledge and stood on the slab again, looking around and taking a deep breath.  
  
“I haven’t been here since Woosung and I broke up.”  
  
Bobby hopped down next to him, looking around and smiling. It really wasn’t much to look at, there was nothing special, nothing outstanding. But he could picture a younger Hanbin coming here, sitting by himself and daydreaming, and even though Bobby was pretty sure that Hanbin didn’t believe in the same God he believed in, Bobby still thought that maybe his God had heard Hanbin’s thoughts, had planned for him to meet Bobby one day. He’d led them both to this moment, in this place, and was taking a step back now to let them decide if this thing between them was only meant to be short, or if it would last.  
  
Bobby felt inexplicably grateful to everyone at the moment. To God, to Hanbin, to his family, even to Woosung, for hurting Hanbin in whatever way he had so Bobby could help him get over it now. Because that’s exactly what he was going to do. Maybe Hanbin was better than him at everything, but that didn’t mean that he didn’t need Bobby. He just needed something that Bobby had never wanted to give anyone else.  
  
But Hanbin had stopped talking now, and Bobby stood next to him where he was, staring out at the river. “Why did you and Woosung break up?”  
  
Hanbin smiled nervously and spread his arms around. “Because of what happened here.” He hadn’t really thought about it much since it had happened, he’d just shoved it back into some far corner of his mind. It felt nice to finally talk about it. “Like I said, when I tried to talk to him, he just kissed me. Well, after that he ended up giving me my very first blowjob.”  
  
Bobby couldn’t help it, couldn’t stop the joke before he made it. “What happened, too much teeth?” But Hanbin laughed, and seeing him smile despite being in the middle of a tough story made Bobby feel good.  
  
“No! The blowjob was good, I liked it.” Hanbin looked back out at the river, crossing his arms over his chest. “But he wanted me to give him one back, and I wouldn’t.”  
  
Bobby was a little surprised at the explanation, and wondered if there was more to it. “Why not?”  
  
“I was scared.” Hanbin held his breath after saying it, because he’d never admitted to being afraid of anything before, to anyone. Well, except stupid things, like heights and the dark. But this was so much more important than that, it wasn’t a phobia, but something self-inflicted.  
  
“Ah, Bin-ah, I know dicks aren’t exactly all that pretty to look at, but they’re not that scary.” Bobby couldn’t help but tease him, and he was relieved when it made Hanbin grin and laugh a bit.  
  
Hanbin looked back at Bobby, grateful for the teasing. It made it easier to keep talking. “I think I have a pretty good looking dick, thanks.”  
  
Bobby was happy with the joking response. His teasing seemed to be helping Hanbin. “I would definitely agree with that statement. I love looking at it.” He grinned when he saw Hanbin’s cheeks tinge a little pinker.  
  
“I was scared I wouldn’t be good at it. The blowjob.”  
  
Bobby’s expression went soft again and all he wanted to do was wrap Hanbin up in his arms and kiss him. But if Hanbin wanted a hug, he’d be reaching for one on his own. Bobby would just have to wait until he was ready. “I can understand that, but you never know unless you try.”  
  
“I know, but when you’re perfect at everything without even trying, it makes trying new things really hard. As good as I am at a lot of things, I haven’t really had to work that hard to get that good. I’ve always managed to ace tests without cramming for them, I pick things up in school right away every time, doesn’t matter what the subject is. Even boxing came to me really easily, I progressed quickly. Basketball too, I always had a really good shot, I didn’t even have to practice.” Hanbin had his things that he’d mastered, and instead of trying new things he’d just stuck to what he knew. The potential of failure had always terrified him, and it wasn’t a fear that anyone had ever put on him. He’d buried himself in it.  
  
“Woosung used to talk about it all the time, he always used to point out how I was perfect at everything. So I thought he expected me to be perfect at that too. But I knew I wouldn’t be, because it had been so long since I’d tried something new, I was sure I’d be terrible. I was so worried that he’d just laugh at me for trying, and he’d be disappointed when I didn’t meet his expectations.” It felt both liberating and terrifying to admit. Hanbin had never told anyone about his fear of failure, half because he hated to admit it, and half because he was sure that no one would understand how much it terrified him. Everyone always expected him to be able to pick up anything he tried, and Hanbin hated the idea of finding something that he wasn’t good at.  
  
“So what, he broke up with you because you were afraid to give him a blowjob?” Bobby was still a little confused about the whole situation. It seemed like such a trivial matter. Sure, it would be annoying, but breaking up over one time? Seemed a little premature.  
  
“No,” Hanbin frowned, because he wasn’t giving Bobby the whole picture, and he really didn’t deserve as much sympathy as Bobby was probably feeling. “That’s the problem. I didn’t tell him that I was afraid of trying. I just said that I didn’t want to. Instead of trusting him to try and help me,  I was more comfortable letting him think that I was just being selfish, or that I just didn’t like him. It wasn’t the first time I’d done that to him either. Every time he tried to do something with me that scared me, I always gave him the cold shoulder, but I never explained why. He thought I was just using him to get some action, always said that he thought that I was just saving myself for someone who was better than he was.”  
  
The admission of it felt like a slap in the face to Bobby. No wonder Hanbin had taken such exception to his attempts to explain himself earlier. He must have been right back where he was with Woosung, trapped by his own fear of failure to the point that instead of admitting the truth, he’d just let Woosung think he was being used instead.  
  
“Honestly, Woosung didn’t really make it easy for me. Things had started out good between us, because we’d been friends first. But right from the start he’d always made jokes about how I was doing charity work by dating him. He always used to say that he was too ugly for me, too dumb for me, wasn’t good for anything except making me look better by comparison. I used to laugh about it at first, but when you hear something long enough, you start thinking that maybe there’s some truth to it. I had started dating him because I really liked him, and I felt like I could trust him enough to learn about everything with him. I thought he felt the same way about me, but eventually his teasing started to feel intimidating instead. I felt like I was _supposed_ to be better than him at everything, I felt like I had some kind of responsibility to be the better person. But I didn’t know how to, and I just let him think it was all his fault for not being good enough for me.”  
  
Bobby’s face suddenly went blank at Hanbin’s explanation. It was _exactly_ what he’d been saying all along. “Shit, Hanbin, have I been doing the same thing to you?” Bobby reached out and laid his hand on Hanbin’s shoulder, worried eyes meeting Hanbin’s surprised ones.  
  
“No,” Hanbin replied right away, but a few seconds later he realized that maybe that wasn’t true. “You know, I guess you actually have been, now that I think about it. But that’s the difference, though, that’s exactly what I wanted to say to you. When Woosung used to talk about how perfect I was, I always felt burdened, or I felt like he was only saying it because he was jealous of me, that he wanted to try and hurt me with sarcasm. After a while I stopped feeling good about compliments from him, because I didn’t think he meant them sincerely. But I never feel that way with you. Whenever you call me perfect, I _feel_ perfect, and I believe every single thing you say to me. Every time you compliment me, I know you mean it. I feel like you’re proud of me.”  
  
“I am proud of you,” Bobby answered, and saying it out loud was actually sort of cathartic. “I’m just not used to dating someone that I could be proud of, and I guess that made me feel insecure.”  
  
Hanbin grinned at the answer, uncrossing his arms and instead reaching out for Bobby. “I don’t know if I should consider that a compliment or an insult.” He was teasing, and the way Bobby smiled back at him indicated that he knew it was just teasing. “I mean, you did start dating me when you were used to dating unimpressive guys.”  
  
“Ouch.” Bobby hadn’t even realized that, and he was glad that Hanbin was joking about it. He was even happier though to feel Hanbin’s arms finally around him. Waiting for Hanbin to be ready for the hug had paid off. “Well, you can consider it a compliment that I liked you too much to drop you when I realized how amazing you were?”  
  
“But you were freaking out internally, which is almost as bad!” Hanbin teased again before he leaned in and kissed him.  
  
“No way! Honestly, I would have dropped you after our first date if I’d been acting normal. But you changed me from the start, I guess.” Bobby grinned and tightened his arms around Hanbin’s back.  
  
“Changed you how? Made you into a whiner?” Hanbin teased him again, but Bobby’s arms around his back had him flooded with positive emotions. He’d divulged his ugly secret to Bobby, and nothing bad was coming of it. Instead he felt lighter than he’d felt in a long time, unburdening himself of something he never should have been carrying around.  
  
“You know, I should be upset with you for that, but I’m not. Consider yourself lucky.” Bobby leaned forward and pressed a kiss to Hanbin’s forehead. This felt like the best moment they’d shared with each other yet, delving into their own insecurities and instead of being turned away, they were both helping each other.  
  
Hanbin tucked his head into Bobby’s neck after the kiss, needing the extra bit of closeness. Bobby kissed him again and rubbed a hand over his back before settling it around the back of his neck, rubbing softly at his nape. It made Hanbin feel safe, which wasn’t a feeling he’d ever sought out from anyone before.  
  
“So, that’s what I wanted to say in answer to your question. I like you so much because of how you make me feel about myself. You make me feel confident, and you make me feel like I don’t need to change anything, like I don’t need to prove anything. I can be myself, and I don’t have to worry about walking on eggshells with you, I can share things and instead of making me feel bad about them, you make me feel good. I didn’t have that with Woosung, I was always in a constant state of worry about what he was going to say or do, or how he’d react to something. It was just as much my fault as it was his, but I wasn’t comfortable being myself with him. Until today I didn’t think I had to worry with you, because you seemed to be every bit as confident in yourself as I am, and I thought I needed that above anything else. But I should have paid attention better, I should have realized that you’re not me, and you’re not Woosung. Just because you feel insecure about something, that doesn’t mean you’re doing it to make me feel bad. I was just afraid of getting burned again, so I’m sorry if I ever did anything that made you feel bad. I’ll be more thoughtful from now on.”  
  
Bobby wasn’t sure what to say in response to that. It was the perfect answer, though, it was exactly what he needed to hear. Just liking someone as an individual didn’t mean you were a good match. Liking how that person made you feel when you were together was more important, and as long as he made Hanbin feel good about himself, it didn’t matter which of them was better than the other. What mattered was that they both felt good together.  
  
Hanbin pressed a soft kiss to Bobby’s lips, feeling a thousand pounds lighter after getting it all off his chest. From the look on Bobby’s face, it seemed like he’d said the right thing to make Bobby’s insecurities melt away too. “On top of all of that, though, maybe this will sound kind of strange, but you make me feel safe, too. I feel like you’d take care of me if something bad happened, but I hate feeling like someone is trying to take care of me. But sometimes I feel like I want you to, and then you do, in some small little way, and it just makes me feel like melting a little, which is super fucking lame, I know, I’m sorry. This is kind of embarrassing.” Hanbin grinned, leaning forward to bury his face in Bobby’s shoulder.  
  
Bobby didn’t think it was lame at all. It was exactly what he’d been thinking earlier, that just because he followed Hanbin, it didn’t mean that Hanbin didn’t _need_ him. He clearly needed him. Bobby just had to pay attention and figure out when and what Hanbin needed. He tightened his arms around Hanbin and buried his face in Hanbin’s hair. The fact that Hanbin had just said _exactly_ what Bobby needed to hear had to be proof that they were meant to be. God’s blessing. Perfect match.  
  
Hanbin couldn’t get over how _good_ it felt when Bobby held him. He’d just bared part of his soul to him, the insecure part that he rarely ever let out, and instead of feeling worried or scared about it being used against him, all Hanbin felt was supported and loved. “Thanks for listening to me.” he said suddenly, tilting his head back to look Bobby in the eyes.  
  
“Thanks for telling me.” Bobby felt like this entire conversation had really changed everything. His perfect, infallible boyfriend had finally shown a crack, but instead of pretending it wasn’t there, Hanbin had willingly pried it open a little further and was letting Bobby patch it up himself. “You don’t have to be perfect all the time with me, okay?”  
  
“Okay.” Allowing himself to drop the perfectionist act wasn’t going to be easy, Hanbin knew that. But he also trusted himself to be okay with Bobby seeing him at a less than perfect state, trusted that Bobby wouldn’t judge him for any shortcomings. “I feel a lot better, now that I told you that. I haven’t told anyone what really happened with Woosung, I didn’t even tell Junhoe. He just thinks we drifted, which is what we’d agreed to tell everyone. It feels good telling someone the truth.”  
  
Bobby felt a lot better too, now that he knew more about Hanbin’s previous relationship. “I’m honestly touched that you told me. I understand how important it was for you to open up about it.”  
  
“I trust you.” Hanbin said, and he meant it implicitly.  
  
Bobby never would have thought that hearing those words out of someone would make him feel so good, but from Hanbin they made him feel like he was the greatest person in the world. He kissed the tip of Hanbin’s nose and brought his hands up to cup his cheeks. “I trust you too. I don’t think I’ll have any problems feeling insecure about us anymore. You told me everything I needed to hear.”  
  
“Good,” Hanbin replied, grinning mischievously, “so you won’t flip out if I talk about my fantasies of letting the violinist fuck me?”  
  
Bobby frowned at the question, but his response was every bit as teasing as Hanbin’s, and the joke didn’t make him feel jealous or worried at all. “You better be having fantasies about me, too.”  
  
Hanbin winked at him. “Why do you think I brought you here?”  
  
Bobby grinned back at him. “To erase the heartache of your past, and make some better memories?”  
  
“To make a perfect memory, you mean.”  
  
Bobby slid his hands down around Hanbin’s back again. “And what happens if things don’t go perfectly right now?”  
  
“Oh I don’t expect them to,” Hanbin replied, honesty shining in his eyes, “but even if everything goes wrong and neither of us get off, it’ll still be perfect because it’s with you.” They both grinned and laughed at the same time, overwhelmed in equal parts embarrassment and delight.  
  
“That was disgusting, Bin,” Bobby reprimanded, “thanks for saying it.”  
  
“My pleasure!” Hanbin replied, and it made them both laugh again.  
  
“Well, speaking of your pleasure,” Bobby started to say, but Hanbin shushed him.  
  
“It’s your turn this time, okay? I don’t need anything, I just want to do this for you.” It would be so easy to sit back and let Bobby blow him again, and he was sure that Bobby would be happy with only that. But Hanbin needed to do this as much for himself as for Bobby. He wasn’t afraid of it, not the way he’d been before. It was still a little nerve wracking, but he trusted Bobby.  
  
Bobby wanted to protest, but he could see how determined Hanbin was, and he understood why. Maybe it was the final thing he needed to do in order to escape the last clutches of his previous relationship. Hanbin needed to do it and maybe he even needed to do it poorly, just to prove to himself that he could fail at something in front of Bobby without running away from it.  
  
“Okay, Bin. If you want any pointers, or anything, just ask.”  
  
Hanbin looked relieved with his answer. “If I’m doing anything wrong, just tell me, okay? Don’t just let me do whatever and pretend it’s good.”  
  
“I won’t. If you’re terrible I’ll let you know,” Bobby teased, grinning when Hanbin blushed a little, “but then I’ll tell you how to get better at it. I promise.” Hanbin nodded and Bobby reached out to lay a hand on his cheek, fingers brushing over the skin softly before leaning forward and kissing him. “So how do you wanna do this? Kneeling on the concrete won’t be comfortable, so lie down, okay?” Bobby directed and Hanbin was quick to follow along.  
  
Bobby undid the belt on his jeans and slid them down, but stopped before he sat down, taking off his jacket and laying it down on the concrete. Sitting his bare skin on the cold concrete really wouldn’t help the mood. He sat down with his jeans halfway down his thighs, glad that they were at least protected from any wind. It was actually pretty peaceful down here, the concrete blocking a lot of the sound of traffic. He could see the lights from the other side of the river, but no one could see them where they were.  
  
Hanbin waited for Bobby to get situated then he sat down with him, taking off his own jacket and using it as a bit of a pillow for his lower half. The space was long enough to stretch his legs out. He propped himself up on his elbows, his eyes on Bobby’s purple boxers. He kept repeating to himself that this wasn’t a big deal, guys blew each other all the time, it wasn’t complicated.  
  
Bobby waited for Hanbin to make a move, but when all he did was lay there and stare, Bobby reached out and patted his head, his fingers dropping to play with Hanbin’s ear. “Just don’t bite it, and you’ll be fine.” The teasing helped Hanbin, who looked up at him with a grin before reaching out to pull Bobby’s boxers down.  
  
Bobby took a deep breath, fighting to keep control of himself. He’d been waiting for this for so long, he didn’t want to do anything to screw it up. But seeing Hanbin wrap slenders fingers around his dick was almost enough to send Bobby careening off into utopian pleasure, which was ridiculous because there was barely even any pressure. It was just the waiting that had done him in, the desperate desire finally being answered.  
  
Hanbin felt both excited and very weird. It was bizarre, holding someone else’s dick in his hand. He knew what he was supposed to do with it, but actually doing it felt a little awkward. It was probably just because he’d built it all up in his head, had spent so long fretting about it. He leaned forward over it, pressing lips to the tip of the head, closing his eyes and slowly pushing his tongue out, tasting the saltiness of Bobby’s precum. It was weird. But a second later he felt Bobby’s fingers playing with his ear again, and for some reason it made Hanbin feel better, reminded him that Bobby wasn’t just going to sit around and do nothing.  
  
Bobby had at first meant to just let Hanbin do his thing for a bit, let him get familiar with it before offering any kind of advice. He hadn’t even meant to touch him until he was into it. But he couldn’t stand sitting there and watching without doing anything, so he’d reached out to trail his fingers over Hanbin’s ear, smiling to himself when Hanbin responded to it. Maybe he needed the physical reassurance. Bobby kind of needed it himself too.  
  
Hanbin slid his tongue around before trying to take more of Bobby into his mouth, trying to remember what Bobby usually did for him, trying to remember what he’d read in the book Donghyuk had lent him. It was difficult to think of everything though, distracted by Bobby in his mouth.  
  
But Bobby seemed to know exactly when he needed a comment, picked up on it every time that Hanbin paused, unsure of what he was doing. So Bobby told him what to do, and Hanbin did it, and even though it wasn’t great (because Hanbin was nervous, and Bobby knew that) the fact that Hanbin was doing it was enough for Bobby. Just being able to look down and see his dick in Hanbin’s mouth was enough to make him cum, and when he finally did he pulled Hanbin off and rolled to the side, shooting his load onto the wall. Some guys could handle swallowing on their first time, but Bobby didn’t want to make Hanbin try that, especially without anything to wash the taste out of his mouth afterwards. There’d be plenty of time for that later.  
  
Hanbin wasn’t sure what to feel afterwards. It wasn’t that it had been unpleasant (because it wasn’t, it was just weird) but he knew it was something he was going to have to do a few times before he got the hang of it. He’d probably done a terrible job, but Bobby had still cum at the end, and the lazy smile on his face was enough to melt Hanbin’s worries away.  
  
“C’mere,” Bobby drawled, one hand wrapping around Hanbin’s arm and tugging him close until Hanbin was leaning against him, his mouth pressing a kiss into Bobby’s neck. Bobby kissed Hanbin’s forehead, draping his arm around Hanbin’s shoulders.  
  
Hanbin had finally blown him. Bobby felt giddy about it now, couldn’t believe he’d actually done it. The night had started out with such potential for disaster, and instead it had ended with complete bliss, at least on his part. He reached out with his free hand, tracing fingers over Hanbin’s jaw and pulling his face up so Bobby could look him in the eyes.  
  
“So, how do you feel?” Bobby asked, his voice still soft.  
  
Hanbin smiled back at him. “I’m good,” he replied, “what about you?”  
  
“I’m great,” Bobby replied, “you did good for your first time.”  
  
Hanbin shook his head in disagreement. “Ah, don’t lie, you still got off but it was probably terrible.”  
  
Bobby laughed at him. “I said it was good, not great,” he replied, kissing Hanbin’s cheek, “and I know you were really nervous while you were doing it. So the only way to fix that is with a lot of practice.” Bobby winked at him, pleased when it made Hanbin grin.  
  
“I think I require more demonstration,” Hanbin teased.  
  
“Oh you’ll get more demonstration, don’t you worry your pretty little face,” Bobby teased back, pinching Hanbin’s cheek before kissing him. He could taste a bit of himself on Hanbin’s tongue, and Bobby always thought that was ridiculously hot.  
  
Hanbin kissed him back before shuffling around on the ground, moving so he could put his legs over Bobby’s lap. “And I’ll work hard so I get better, so you don’t worry your ugly face,” he teased back, grinning when Bobby pouted at him.  
  
“You’re such a brat,” Bobby replied, but he couldn’t stop his expression from slipping into something soft again. “Really, though, you did a good job on your first time. It means a lot that you felt comfortable enough to try.”  
  
“Thanks, hyung,” Hanbin replied, and the comment meant a lot to him too. A sudden feeling of relief swept over him when he realized that he didn’t feel _bad_ about not doing it perfectly. Bobby really didn’t mind that it hadn’t been perfect, wasn’t bothered at all. Hanbin had _tried,_ and that was what mattered to Bobby. The fact that just trying was enough was what mattered to Hanbin. He had plenty of time to perfect it, after all. But the memory of trying for the first time was a positive one, and that was the most important thing.


	37. The Genius

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hanbin's birthday.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Originally this was only going to be the birthday party, but I added in those first two scenes so all the main characters could be in the chapter (including Donghyuk). Hanbyul is also heavily featured in the chapter, and poor Bobby has to deal with her rather invasive question period. ;)

Bobby was practically dancing on air by the time he made it home, tempted to try running up the side of the building and bursting into his apartment through the window. He felt certain he could make it. But they said that love made you feel crazy things, and he'd never felt crazier before in his life.

He managed to restrain the wildest of his feelings as he chose the more realistic route of the elevator and tried to maintain a calmer expression on his face. He greeted his parents with a smile when he walked in the door (a complete opposite picture of the worried frown he'd worn when he'd left) and he tried to evade his mother's questions about it. She could sense that he was overjoyed about  _ something, _ but she let him go when he said he had to talk to Jinhwan about  _ homework. _ He felt bad lying to her, but he needed to ramble about everything and he'd didn't feel comfortable saying certain things in front of her.

He bounced down the hall to Jinhwan's room, not bothering to knock before barging in. Jinhwan was on his bed and looked up in surprise at Bobby's entrance, but when he took in the excited expression on his face he put his phone down and braced himself. Bobby flopped down next to him, no regard for whatever he'd interrupted, but Jinhwan didn't look upset.

Bobby met his eyes, spurred on by the warmth in Jinhwan's expression. “It finally happened!”

Jinhwan wasn't sure what specifically Bobby meant by  _ it, _ but he knew it had something to do with Hanbin. Jinhwan hadn't seen him this bouncy in a while, not since he and Hanbin had first started dating. It was cute.

“What finally happened? The aliens from your home planet made contact?”

Bobby didn't even bat an eyelash at the teasing, instead he laid his head down on Jinhwan's chest and flung an arm over him. “You'd be proud of me, actually.”

Definitely had to do with Hanbin, then, and Jinhwan was willing to bet his future in jiu jitsu on it being that Bobby had finally come clean to Hanbin about his feelings. Bobby had been in a terrible funk the past two days, always on edge and freaking out over nothing. His complete change in demeanour made it obvious. “Wow, high praise for yourself. Don't leave me in the dark.”

“I talked to Hanbin about everything,” Bobby started, pleased when Jinhwan pulled off his beanie to run his fingers through Bobby's hair, “I told him all of it, about how all the stupid shit made me jealous, and how I think he could do better than me. Just everything that's been in my head lately.” Bobby hadn't necessarily told Jinhwan about all of it, but Jinhwan knew him and had probably come to the conclusion that Bobby was having some rough thoughts.

Jinhwan smiled as he scratched lightly at Bobby's scalp. “Did you really? I'm actually surprised, I didn't think you'd have told him all of it. That's pretty heavy for you.”

“Trust me, it felt like the hardest thing ever at the time.” Bobby closed his eyes, enjoying the head rub. It was a little like he was a dog and Jinhwan was petting him for a job well done. Bobby didn't mind. He thought he deserved the praise for facing his insecurities.

“I'm proud of you,” Jinhwan replied, and he wasn't just teasing him. “It takes a lot of guts to admit all of that to someone you like.”

“Not like,” Bobby replied, his words half muffled into the blanket, “love. I love him.” It was so weird to say the words out loud and mean them romantically. It was different than just agreeing to a statement that someone else made, because there was a weight to words.

“Love?” Jinhwan teased, even though he was happy to finally hear Bobby admit it in his own voice. “I can't believe you're saying it yourself. My little Jiwon is in love, this is so weird.” Bobby groaned and Jinhwan laughed at him, but he was happy that Bobby was finally comfortable enough in his feelings to admit it. But even though he was happy for Bobby, he was also a little jealous. Here was Bobby, finally letting himself get wrapped up in love and romance, ready to yell it to the world, while Jinhwan was instead trapped with his own future plans, couldn't even figure out how to broach the topic of his potential leaving in the spring.

Bobby didn't respond to Jinhwan's teasing, just laid there with his face pressed into Jinhwan's side. Even though he hadn't slept for the past two days and had spent those days mentally frayed, he still felt like he wouldn't be able to sleep tonight, his brain buzzing with a million thoughts. As weird as it was, Hanbin blowing him wasn't even in the top ten. Instead he was just consumed with the knowledge that he was finally, honestly  _ okay _ with everything.

Hanbin was impressive and near perfect, but he was  _ Bobby's, _ and that made all the difference to him. He didn't feel insecure about being with someone who was, technically speaking, better than he was. Not anymore. They both understood each other better and Bobby felt like their connection was ten layers deeper now. It was worth being all giddy over.

“So does this mean you're over your funk now? I was getting worried about you.”

“Yeah, I'm good. I thought I was okay after dinner on Wednesday, but then I didn't sleep at all and well, you know how I overreact about shit when I feel defensive. Thanks for trying to help.” Bobby tightened his arm around Jinhwan, grateful for how close their friendship was. He hated to think about what sort of mess he'd be without him; probably still pretending to be straight.

“So, did you guys just have a talk? Or did something else happen?” Jinhwan knew the talk couldn't have been it, he knew Bobby too well. When Bobby didn't reply, Jinhwan knew he was right. “Come on, out with it. You're way too excitable for this to just be about a conversation.”

“He finally gave me a BJ,” Bobby admitted, aware of how ridiculous this must seem to Jinhwan. Bobby had never taken this long to get something from a guy before, and here he was, still giddy over a simple blowjob (that hadn't even been that good either, but everything was better when the person you were with was someone you loved).

Jinhwan rolled his eyes. “Wow, look at you, getting your dick sucked. Who would have thought you'd be so excited over something so simple.” Jinhwan got it, though, and he thought it was cute. Bobby had been willing to wait until Hanbin was ready. It was like Bobby was, in all honesty, dating someone for the first time.

“Shut up,” Bobby groaned, “it was right on the bank of the Han too, made it even better.”

“Wait, he blew you  _ where?” _ Jinhwan hadn't been expecting that bit of information.

Bobby grinned at Jinhwan's surprised tone. “He's got this little spot he found when he was a kid, under the bridge. He showed it to me tonight, told me about how he used to go there when he was a kid, figuring out how he felt about guys. It was really special, finding out about that side of him.” The more Bobby thought about it, the more he understood how important it must have been to Hanbin to tell him about all of that after being so let down with his ex. It was trust, and Bobby had never been the trustworthy type in his other relationships.

“You guys are honestly so cute you're disgusting,” Jinhwan teased, “but it's a good look on you, keep it.” He poked Bobby's cheek, grinning when Bobby swatted at his hand.

“Thanks for the words of support,” Bobby teased back, “sorry if I interrupted whatever you were doing, by the way. I just wanted to tell you about everything.”

Jinhwan smiled at the apology, but he also felt a little guilty. He'd been looking up admission requirements for the college in California Eric had told him about, going over everything he needed to do. Should he just tell Bobby about his plans? The others could wait until he knew for sure, but Bobby deserved to know, didn't he? But it might spoil Bobby's good mood, and Jinhwan couldn't do that to him. So he kept it to himself for now. He'd wait until his mom made a decision.

“I'm happy you were so intent on telling me,” Jinhwan replied, “makes me feel special.”

“It should,” Bobby shot back, moving until he'd wriggled himself half on top of Jinhwan, “you're a special person.”

Jinhwan knew he wasn't teasing, and as nice as it felt to hear Bobby be honest, it also made him feel guilty. Bobby was always like this, rushing to share exciting news with him, eager for his opinion and praise. In return Jinhwan was keeping his own secrets from Bobby, wasn't giving him the same back. But he was doing it to protect Bobby, that's all. No sense in spoiling the mood if it wasn't set in stone.

They talked for a bit longer, about Jinhwan's brown belt test, and Bobby's birthday gift for Hanbin, and eventually Bobby fell asleep, his head on Jinhwan's chest. Jinhwan didn't bother moving, he just switched off his lamp and pulled the blanket over the both of them. If he really was going to leave in the spring, then he wanted to take every opportunity to be close with his best friend as he could. It might all go poorly after all, and then he'd only have moments like these in his memory.

* * *

“Okay, you need to spill right now because I can't wait a second longer!”

Hanbin grinned at Donghyuk's request, enjoying the excitement. It was a stark contrast to Junhoe's annoyed expression, and Hanbin waited for the inevitable eye roll.

“Can we wait until  _ after _ we eat? Not all of us want to hear about Hanbin's sex life.” Junhoe looked over the menu even though he already knew what he wanted to eat.

“Speak for yourself.” Donghyuk retorted with a snort.

“I am!” Junhoe replied. He actually didn't mind hearing about it, but if he didn't play up the disgusted card he felt like Hanbin might feel let down. It was an ingrained part of their friendship.

“Well you're outvoted, so I guess it sucks to be you.” Hanbin replied with a grin.

“More like it sucked to be you last night,” Junhoe replied, “I still think your standards are too low.”

“Clearly they are, since you're still my best friend.” Hanbin replied with a smile.

“So glad I dropped you as mine,” Junhoe replied, setting his menu down.

“I was never yours to begin with,” Hanbin responded, looking at Donghyuk, “I always came second to his mirror.” Donghyuk laughed, which made Hanbin and Junhoe laugh too.

“Hey, that mirror's been with me my entire life,” Junhoe answered, grinning at the pair of them, “it's hard to find that kind of loyalty.”

“If the only loyalty you can find is from inanimate objects, clearly you've got some problems in your life that you need to address.” Donghyuk teased, and it sent them all giggling again.

The waitress came to take their orders and once she left Donghyuk dug for details again. “Okay, we ordered, so can we please talk about you and Bobby now? Junhoe can just go to the bathroom if he wants to protect his delicate virgin ears.”

Hanbin met Junhoe's eye at the comment. Donghyuk still didn't know that Junhoe and Jinhwan were messing around together. Hanbin was having a difficult time keeping it to himself, but it was Junhoe's news to share. He was dying to tell Donghyuk, though.

So Hanbin met Junhoe's gaze, grinning playfully at him. “That's right, does Junhoe even know what a blowjob is?”

Junhoe rolled his eyes, tripped up already. “Dude, I had a dick in my mouth weeks before you did.”

“You WHAT?” Donghyuk interrupted, scandalized look thrown Junhoe's way. “When? Who? Why didn't you tell me?”

Hanbin kept his eyes on Junhoe, an innocent expression on his face to counter Junhoe's murderous glare. It really was far too easy to bait Junhoe into giving his secrets away.

Junhoe almost couldn't believe he'd fallen for it so easily (almost, because it happened so often that he really should be more careful when Hanbin knew a secret of his). He couldn't blame Hanbin for it either. Junhoe softened his expression and looked at Donghyuk. “Okay, listen, you can't say anything about it, right now Hanbin's the only one who knows.”

Donghyuk waved the concern off. “Who would I even tell? Your secret's safe with me.”

“Don't tell Yunhyeong hyung,” Hanbin teased the both of them, “he'd never let Junhoe hear the end of it.” Donghyuk blushed a little while Junhoe kicked Hanbin under the table.

“Leave Yunhyeong out of this,” Junhoe replied, “but definitely don't tell him.” Junhoe focused on Donghyuk then, hoping he wasn't making a big mistake. He still hadn't told Jinhwan that Hanbin knew. “It's Jinhwan hyung.” As soon as he said the name he was surprised by Donghyuk's laugh. “What? Why's that funny?”

“Well, he already thinks there's something going on between the two of you,” Donghyuk replied, Junhoe's panicked expression just making the whole thing funnier to him.

“What? Why? What did he say?”

“It was at the game, at halftime when you and Jinhwan conveniently disappeared to buy drinks.” Donghyuk relayed, and now he wondered if they'd gone out to do anything other than just buy drinks. Yunhyeong had told him not to mention the questions to Junhoe, but Donghyuk thought that Junhoe's revelation changed everything. “He just asked me if I thought anything was going on between the two of you. He said that you seemed so much nicer when Jinhwan was around, and that you always seemed to follow him all the time.”

Hanbin couldn't help his laughter, bursting into giggles and refusing to meet Junhoe's eyes. The fact that Yunhyeong had picked up on everything he'd noticed just made the whole thing better. Junhoe was probably raging internally at himself for giving so much away.

Junhoe was doing exactly that. He'd been determined to hide the identity of his partner from Yunhyeong as long as possible. Had he really given himself away so easily? Hanbin's laughter wasn't making it any better, nor was Donghyuk's. But it was his own fault, really, and he knew it.

“What did you tell him?” Junhoe asked, narrowed eyes on Donghyuk.

“It doesn't matter, it was all just conjecture!” Donghyuk replied, grinning at Junhoe's look of exasperation. He'd agreed with Yunhyeong, of course, and he'd have to confirm for him now, wouldn't he?

Junhoe glowered at the pair of them. Hanbin and Donghyuk knowing was one thing, but Yunhyeong was another. “Okay it's really not that funny, would you two quit laughing? It's embarrassing.”

“I'm sorry, it's just, I have a question,” Donghyuk said, grinning at Hanbin before looking at Junhoe.

Junhoe's expression darkened as he braced himself for whatever Donghyuk was going to ask. “What?”

“Since he's from Jeju, did it taste like oranges?”

Junhoe had to close his eyes and breathe deeply to combat both the irritation and the embarrassment. Donghyuk and Hanbin were giggling again, leaning against each other, and Junhoe just felt betrayed by the both of them.

“Ah, Dong-ie, that was amazing!” Hanbin complimented. “I can't believe I didn't make that joke myself.”

“Thank you, that's what I'm here for.” Donghyuk replied, smug expression on Junhoe's still irritated one.

“You guys are assholes.” Junhoe grumbled.

“Speaking of assholes, when's Jinhwan's black pig sausage gonna make an appearance in yours?” Hanbin barely managed to get the question out before he and Donghyuk were giggling again.

Junhoe was so annoyed with them he actually threw his water on them, but he ended up doing it just as the waitress walked by, and then he had to beg her with an apology and a promise to behave to save them from getting kicked out.   
  
“That’s karma for not telling me earlier!” Donghyuk said after the waitress left them.   
  
“I hate both of you.” Junhoe grumbled. The worst part of it all was that now he didn’t even have a drink left, and he wasn’t sure if the waitress would be in any sort of mood to bring him another. That’s what he got for being honest.   
  


* * *

  
After spending almost two hours meeting Hanbin’s extended family and having dinner, they’re alone in Hanbin’s bedroom for the gift giving. Bobby felt weird about giving it in front of everyone, because he didn’t know if he’d be able to accurately explain it in front of them all. Hanbin’s parents didn’t mind, though, and dismissed them for a bit after dinner.   
  
Bobby was grateful not just to do this alone, but also for the break. Meeting Hanbin’s aunts and uncles and one set of grandparents (his mom’s parents weren’t able to make it) had been more stressful than he’d told himself it would be. He’d been confident on his way over, but the confidence broke the second he walked into the apartment and saw a bunch of strangers’ eyes on him.   
  
Hanbin had taken him around and introduced him, though, and to Bobby’s surprise everyone knew about him, and everyone greeted him warmly. Aside from his immediate family and his grandmother, he didn’t think that anyone in his family knew about Hanbin, not his name, much less his hobbies and activities. But Hanbin’s family had been all conversational with him, had tried to make him feel welcome and included.   
  
But Bobby wasn’t the best with adults, and even though everyone had been nice, it was tiring. So the moment Hanbin shut the door behind them in his room Bobby flopped on the bed, exhausted.   
  
Hanbin stood at his side and laughed, looked on him with sparkling eyes. “Was it really that bad?”   
  
Bobby grunted a noise of assent. “Sure was.”   
  
Hanbin was about to push him over to make room to sit down, but then thought better of it and instead laid himself over Bobby’s back. That seemed to do the trick, because a second later Bobby was rolling over to look up at Hanbin.   
  
“Sorry for making you suffer through dinner with the extended family, but you did a good job.” Hanbin replied, kissing his chin.   
  
“Ah, you’re worth suffering for.” Bobby teased back, cupping Hanbin’s face in his hands and pulling him closer for a deeper kiss.   
  
“Wow, such a compliment, so romantic.”   
  
Bobby grinned and wished they could just stay here for the rest of the night, but he knew they’d have to go back out soon. Besides, he still had to fulfill his promise to Hanbyul, which he’d gladly use as an excuse to take another break from talking to Hanbin’s family.   
  
“Alright, get up so I can give you your present.” Bobby demanded, and Hanbin rolled off of him and eagerly sat on his bed. Bobby grabbed the bag from where he’d laid it, taking a deep breath before launching into his explanation. He’d done some research and had a whole speech planned out. Jinhwan had told him to write it out, otherwise he’d probably forget something, but Bobby hadn’t bothered. He wished he had now.   
  
“Okay, so at first glance it doesn’t seem like much, but I picked this out for a few reasons.” He handed the bag to Hanbin, nerves prickling his gut. He remembered Jiun’s story about giving Jeeyoung the jewelry making class as a gift, and told himself that he was going to have just as much success with Hanbin. Because it wasn’t about the gift, but the meaning behind it. Hanbin would appreciate it.   
  
“Go ahead and open it.”   
  
Hanbin had been beyond curious about the gift ever since Bobby had asked him if he could give it to him in private. He’d promised him it wasn’t anything dirty, had said that his family wouldn’t be weirded out by it at all. So he opened the bag and removed the tissue paper, pulling the gift out.   
  
It was a snapback, black with yellow lettering. There was a Wu-Tang logo on the back, while the front text read  _ The Genius _ . Hanbin grinned, because whatever Bobby’s reasons for buying it were, GZA was his favourite member of the group, so it already suited him perfectly. He looked at Bobby expectantly. “I like it, now explain it.”   
  
Bobby was surprised at how he felt at the moment, a little nervous about explaining it and even a little embarrassed. It was just because he wasn’t used to doing this, to explaining the meaning behind something.   
  
“Okay, so first is the easy reason, we both like rap and Wu-Tang are legends. If you were anyone in Wu-Tang, you’d be GZA, the Genius. But I was reading more about him, and just thinking about how even though he’s a rapper, he’s done talks at big American universities, like Harvard. He’s just some guy making music and Harvard gets him to come in and give lectures. And he has that thing in New York, he uses music to promote science for kids, and I just think that’s really cool.” He paused, gauging Hanbin’s reaction.   
  
Hanbin was clearly trying not to smile too wide, but Bobby could see the expression in his eyes, and it was excited and happy and touched. He felt a tiny bit of relief creep into his system. Hanbin got it. He understood what Bobby was saying with the gift.   
  
“They did a study too, and out of all the American rappers, GZA’s got like, the second highest vocabulary in his lyrics. He’s wicked smart, and everyone just thinks he’s one of the best lyricists in the game because of it. It just makes me think about you, how even though you’re really smart, you still love hip hop, you’re super into it and it’s one of those weird things we have in common, that if people didn’t know us, they might not think of.”   
  
Hanbin nodded, eyes glued on Bobby’s face as he spoke. He was honestly touched by the comparison, touched by the thought Bobby put into it. Because it was just a snapback, nothing special. But the thought it represented was monumental, especially after their talk on Friday night.   
  
“I told you a few days ago about how I used to be really intimidated by how smart you are, how it made me feel like I wasn’t good enough for you. But I don’t feel that way anymore, now I’m just really proud that my boyfriend’s this super smart guy, who’s got this wicked bright future ahead of him. Like, whatever you decide to do, business or history or science, you’re gonna be amazing at it, you’re gonna be the best, and I want you to know that no matter what it is, I’m gonna be there with you. And I want you to tell me about it, even if it’s some crazy thing that I don’t understand, which it probably will be because you’re kind of a nerd and you like some nerdy stuff.” Bobby paused again, his heart beating fast, because this was it. The big stupid moment that he hoped he wasn’t going to fuck up.   
  
“But you’re my nerd, and I love you.”   
  
Hanbin was pretty sure his heart probably stopped beating while he was listening to Bobby, he stopped breathing altogether. They were just words, but hearing them for the first time was every bit as magical as people said it was. It wasn’t really so much shock, because he  _ knew _ that Bobby loved him, but there was a real difference in knowing something and hearing it said to you out loud.   
  
He wrapped his arms around Bobby, snapback still clutched in one hand, and buried his face into Bobby’s neck, so dazed that he couldn’t even close his eyes or move his mouth. He just needed a moment to process it all.   
  
Bobby felt like slumping into the bed in relief. He’d gotten through it all without fucking it up, had looked Hanbin right in the eyes and told him exactly how he felt. He didn’t mind that Hanbin hadn’t said it back to him right away, because he was confident that Hanbin loved him too. He probably just needed a moment. Bobby had meant every word of it too, and he hoped Hanbin had picked up on all of it. Maybe it was a bit early to be talking about forever, but Bobby knew he wasn’t going to find anyone he’d ever love as much as he loved Hanbin.   
  
Hanbin didn’t pull back for a few minutes, but as soon as he did he met Bobby’s eyes with a smile, leaning forward to kiss him.   
  
“I love you too.” Saying the words himself felt just as great as it had felt to hear them, and he hoped they touched Bobby just as much.   
  
Of course they did. As soon as he heard it from Hanbin, Bobby grinned and felt that same wild elation he’d felt on Friday night after their date. They were in love, and Bobby thought it was the best feeling in the entire history of the universe.   
  
They sat together for a few minutes, cuddled tightly, neither of them speaking but just processing. Hanbin finally broke the silence.   
  
“Do you really mean what you said?” He waited until their eyes met before clarifying. “About being there, in the future?”   
  
Bobby had been waiting for him to ask, had been hoping the comment wouldn’t go unnoticed. He nodded, sure of his answer. “I meant it. I know it’s early, but I’m sure that’s what I want. You know what you want to do for your future, you have all of these ideas and plans, but the only thing I know about mine is that I want you to be in it.” He knew it was a weighty comment to make, the kind of comment that scared people.   
  
It didn’t scare Hanbin, though, didn’t do anything except make him smile and get that excited gleam in his eyes. “Good.” Hanbin grinned and kissed him, couldn’t think of any other way to properly express how he felt about Bobby’s words. They meant the world to him, knowing that Bobby was actually invested in them, wanted them to be together for life.   
  
It was the best birthday gift he’d ever received.   
  
They didn’t spend long together after that because Bobby didn’t want to take advantage of the generosity of Hanbin’s family. This was a celebration for him, after all, and he shouldn’t be spending half of it tucked away in his bedroom. They returned to the living room and that was when Hanbyul made a beeline for Bobby.   
  
“Oppa, can you draw me princesses  _ now?” _ Bobby grinned at her question, but looked at Hanbin.   
  
“Is it okay if we go do that?”   
  
Hanbin nodded. “Okay, why don’t you go in the kitchen and sit at the table? It’ll be easier there.” Hanbin patted his sister’s head before she ran off to her room to get her supplies.   
  
“You sure you wanna do this?” Hanbin teasingly asked him. He knew Bobby was probably glad for the opportunity.   
  
“Absolutely, besides I promised her I would, and I can’t break the promise.”   
  
“Alright, well, you go have fun. Good luck with her.” Hanbin gave him a quick kiss, right there in front of his whole family, before sending him off into the kitchen.   
  
Bobby heard the laughs from the rest of them, but he felt good about it. Hanbin was willing to kiss him in front of them all. It was nice to feel so comfortable around all of them, it made Bobby that much more certain that they had a future together. Hanbin’s whole family was accepting him. He couldn’t possibly find anything better.   
  
He pulled out two chairs at the table, bringing them close together. Hanbyul showed up then and climbed up into the chair next to him, depositing pencil crayons and paper in front of him.   
  
“What kind of princess do you want? I’ve been practicing all week, just for you.” Bobby pulled some paper in front of him, reaching for the box of pencil crayons.   
  
“I don’t know.” Hanbyul answered, apparently not picky.   
  
“How about a princess that’s from the sun?” Bobby asked, because he’d toyed with some ideas with his dad. A sun princess could have some fantastic fiery hair.   
  
Hanbyul nodded excitedly at the offer, kneeling on the chair to watch Bobby as he started drawing. He reached for a red pencil, sketching a quick outline of the body. “I’m going to make her red and orange, okay?” He asked, surprised when she opposed it.   
  
“Why not purple?” She asked, pushing the colour towards him.   
  
“The sun’s not purple.” Bobby replied.   
  
“How do you know? Has oppa been to the sun?” Hanbyul asked him.   
  
Bobby shook his head. “Well, no, but all the pictures we see look mostly orange. When you see it in the sky, is it purple?”   
  
“Maybe it’s purple when you’re in space.” Hanbyul said, adamant on the colour.   
  
Bobby didn’t think the picture would look the same with purple. “How about we make her body purple, and her hair red and orange? Because maybe the sun is purple, but what we see is only the sun’s hair.” He hoped the simple logic would appeal to her.   
  
“Okay!” Hanbyul agreed, and Bobby used the purple crayon to shade in some bits of skin. He was going to make her dress yellow, but first he started on the hair, trying to evoke a sense of fire.   
  
“Oppa are you and Hanbinnie oppa going to get married one day?” Hanbyul asked nonchalantly, like it wasn’t a big deal at all.   
  
Bobby paused, pencil held in mid-stroke as he stared at her. Why was she asking about marriage? What did she even know about it? Where had she heard about it? Did kids her age know what marriage was?   
  
“Because in my stories when people love each other they get married. Like the princess always marries the prince who rescues her. Why aren’t there any books where the princess marries the other princess? Or maybe the prince can marry the prince. Do you know if there are books like that, oppa?”   
  
Should he yell for Hanbin? Was this a conversation that he should be having with her? He remembered Hanbin’s explanation, though, that they wanted to raise Hanbyul with the expectation that being gay was normal. So Bobby should just treat it like it was normal, right?   
  
“You know what, I haven’t seen any books like that, but there must be some, right?” He was still reeling over her question about he and Hanbin, though. Maybe she’d just forget she asked if he kept her talking about books. “Why don’t I try and find one for you, okay?”   
  
Hanbyul smiled at his answer. “Okay! Please find one for me, oppa.”   
  
Bobby nodded and resumed drawing. “Okay, I’ll look everywhere, and I’ll find you all the books like that. I’m sure there’s lots of them.” There probably weren’t, but he’d find whatever did exist.   
  
“I’m excited, I want to read about the princesses getting married. It would be so pretty! Two big dresses. Dresses are so pretty. Oppa why don’t boys wear dresses? Don’t you think they’re pretty?”   
  
Bobby almost choked on air, he was so surprised at her question. Oh god, why now? Why when no one else was here? “Um, yeah, dresses are very pretty.”   
  
“So, why don’t boys wear them too? Instead boys look very boring. They just wear black pants and white shirts. Everyone should wear dresses when they get married.” Hanbyul’s voice was very serious as she spoke, and Bobby wasn’t entirely sure what he should say in response.   
  
“Oppa? When you marry my oppa, will you wear a dress? I think it would be very pretty.”   
  
Oh god, what was he supposed to say? Could he turn her down without her feelings being hurt? Should he turn her down? Was this part of that normalizing behaviour her parents were doing? Was everything supposed to be normal? He didn’t want to say the wrong thing and confuse her.   
  
“If you don’t want to, that’s okay. You can wear anything you want to wear. I’m going to wear a dress, not because I’m supposed to, but because I like them!” Hanbyul’s impassioned speech about clothing was making Bobby feel like he was in some alternate reality. It was just such a weird discussion, not at all the sort of things his younger cousins ever talked about. “I just don’t know why somebody would want to wear boring pants, when you can wear a pretty dress.”   
  
“Maybe not everyone wants to be pretty?” There. That was safe, right?   
  
Hanbyul paused then, staring in concentration at the paper, thinking hard. “Maybe you’re right. I don’t understand why, but maybe you’re right.”   
  
Bobby swallowed around the lump in his throat, desperate for someone to come in and check on them and rescue him from Hanbyul’s non-stop questioning. He was worried about screwing up and saying the wrong thing that would contradict her parents’ teachings.   
  
“Are you going to have a baby with my oppa?”   
  
_ Oh GOD _ why wouldn’t her questions just stop?!   
  
“I know where babies come from, you need a mom, but maybe a mom can have a baby for you? Did you know that some people think that these big birds bring babies? I don’t know why people would say that. They say the birds bring the babies, but babies come from inside their mom. What do they think happens? Does the bird put the baby inside the mom?”   
  
Bobby couldn’t do anything except stare at her, his face blank with shock. What was happening? Why was she talking about all of this? All he wanted to do was draw her a few princesses. What was he supposed to say about any of this? He looked down at her, and she had such a look of confusion on her face.   
  
“You don’t think birds bring babies, do you, oppa?”   
  
Bobby shook his head. “Oh no, of course not.”   
  
“Are people just dumb?” Hanbyul asked, and Bobby nodded.   
  
“Maybe they are.” Hanbyul seemed to think about his answer. “Not everyone is smart, Hanbyul.”   
  
“My mom told me that when I go to school, I shouldn’t talk about babies. My teacher might get mad. But if it’s right I should be able to talk about it. Maybe there will be kids who don’t know. I could help them.”   
  
Bobby nodded again, his expression distraught. “You could help them.”   
  
“I could. I’m smart, I know things.”   
  
“Yes, you’re very smart. Just like your brother.” Hanbyul nodded in agreement before picking up a pencil and starting to draw her own princess. Bobby was still in shock about the question period, wondering if he was safe yet. Did Hanbin deal with this on a daily basis? Was she always like this, or was it just him?   
  
They were interrupted then by Hanbin’s mother. Bobby turned to her, hoping she understood the distraught look on his face. He wasn’t sure if she’d heard any of their conversation, but judging by the look on her face he thought she probably had.   
  
“How are two doing?” She asked, stopping by the table to look at Bobby’s drawing.   
  
“I’m talking to Bobby oppa,” Hanbyul whined, “it’s our time together!”   
  
Mrs. Kim just grinned though, catching Bobby’s eye and smiling. “I’m just coming in to get some more wine, sweetheart,” she leaned down to give her daughter a quick kiss before heading to the fridge. “I won’t be long.”   
  
“Okay.” Hanbyul replied, sighing out loud.   
  
After topping up her glass Mrs. Kim joined them at the table again. “Do you need anything? Bobby?”   
  
Bobby met her eyes, his own slightly panicked. He mouthed the word  _ help _ at her, but she just grinned back at him. “Your drawing is turning out very pretty, I’m very impressed.” She leaned down again to give Hanbyul another kiss before leaning in close to Bobby, patting him on the head and whispering in his ear. “You’re doing fine.”   
  
She winked at him, and Bobby knew then that she’d been listening and that she approved of everything he’d said so far. Apparently she even trusted him to keep dealing with Hanbyul’s invasive questions. That made Bobby feel better, and he suddenly wasn’t so nervous about it anymore.   
  
It was just he and Hanbyul again, but from then on her questions were only about princesses, and not about he and Hanbin.   
  
Had Mrs. Kim heard the questions about marriage, too? Bobby knew that Hanbin had a much more open relationship with his parents than Bobby had with his own. Would she approve of them, long-term? They couldn’t legally get married in Korea, not yet, but maybe one day.   
  
Maybe, if Bobby couldn’t find a book for Hanbyul with princes that got married to each other, maybe he’d get his dad to help him make one for her. And maybe he’d model the princes after he and Hanbin.   
  
He’d make Hanbin’s prince wear the dress, though.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just wanted to mention that the next couple of chapters are going to get into some much more detailed sexual activity (aka SEX! as Junhoe would yell at you if he could;).
> 
> There's also a very slight possibility that I might not post next weekend. I'm running behind again and I have some Christmas projects I need to work on. So depending on whether or not I'm able to get those finished up this week, I might need to allocate my weekend to taking care of that stuff instead. I'll put a little note up on my profile here if I know for sure that I won't have the chapter done in time.


	38. Smooth Operator

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jinhwan calls Junhoe in the middle of the night for help with a particular problem. The boys make special weekend plans.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Merry Christmas to everyone who celebrates it! ♥♥♥
> 
> This chapter is mostly Junhoe and Jinhwan, but there's a bit of Hanbin at the end. Bobby's only around for a brief text exchange. Sorry!

Junhoe was just drifting off when the sound of his phone woke him up, the message notification going off. He must have forgotten to mute it for the night. He grabbed for it on his bedside table, groping in the darkness. He looked at the screen with bleary eyes, searching for the culprit. If it was Hanbin, he was going to send him a picture of his middle finger before going back to sleep.  
  
But it was Jinhwan. He rubbed his eyes before opening the messenger. _  
_ _  
_ _-wut r u up to?-_   
  
_-was tryin to sleep-_ _  
_ _  
_ _-oh so sorry-_   
  
_-no ur not-_ _  
_ _  
_ _-ur right since ur awake entertain me!-_ _  
_ _  
_ _-how?-_ _  
_ _  
_ _-kinda horny. send me a dick pic-_   
  
Junhoe almost dropped his phone when he read Jinhwan’s request. Was he being serious?   
  
_-wtf no-_ _  
_ _  
_ _-cum on pls do it for me-_ _  
_ _  
_ _-im not doing it-_ _  
_ _  
_ _-video chat me?-_ _  
_ _  
_ Junhoe didn’t answer right away, instead he looked at his door, silhouetted by the light in the hall, closed but unlocked. He should just tell Jinhwan he was going to sleep, it was pretty late after all. But they hadn’t seen each other since the weekend, and it was already Thursday.   
  
He got up and went to his bedroom door, pushing in the button to lock it.   
  
_-k just a few mins tho its late-_   
  
He barely had time to rearrange himself on his bed before Jinhwan was calling him, and he took a second to fluff up his pillow before he answered it.   
  
“Took you long enough to answer,” Jinhwan greeted, pouting at him on the screen.   
  
Junhoe grinned back. “Had to lock my door.” He should have checked to see where his parents were before taking the call. Were they in their room yet? It was thankfully at the other end of the apartment, but Junhoe still felt wary of speaking too loudly.   
  
“Oh yeah? What do you plan on doing if you felt the need to lock the door?” Jinhwan teased him.   
  
“Nothing.” Junhoe answered a little too quickly, feeling stupidly defensive for some reason. Maybe it was just because of the unexpectedness of the situation, and the fact that he’d been half asleep when Jinhwan had texted him.   
  
“Right, sure,” Jinhwan replied, “I didn’t lock my door. Do you think I should?” Jinhwan fixed him with a strong stare, like he was daring him to do something.   
  
What the dare was, Junhoe wasn’t sure.   
  
“I don’t know, do what you want, hyung.” It was kind of weird, video chatting. They didn’t always look directly at each other when they were physically together, but it felt weird video chatting with Jinhwan and not looking at him continually. But the longer he looked, the tenser the atmosphere.   
  
“Why don’t you give me a reason to lock my door?” Jinhwan challenged.   
  
“Like what?” Junhoe knew what he wanted, but were they really about to do that?   
  
Jinhwan grinned at him and changed his phone to his other hand. “I know you said you didn’t want to send me a picture, but you can show me now, can’t you?” He wasn’t sure why, but he’d been feeling riled up all day, a plethora of energy that wasn’t even expended during training.   
  
Junhoe couldn’t help but feel embarrassed at the request. “Really?”   
  
“Yes really,” Jinhwan replied, a slight whine to his voice, “I’ve been horny all day for some reason, I need help.”   
  
Junhoe rolled his eyes. “You can’t just watch porn or something?”   
  
“I don’t want porn,” Jinhwan replied, winking at him, “I want you. But it’s too late for us to meet up so this is the next best thing, right?”   
  
Junhoe just shook his head, half at Jinhwan’s request, and half at himself for actually following through. “Fine, just because you asked nicely.”   
  
Without thinking about it too much Junhoe reached down and brushed his hand over himself. Of course he was already half-hard just thinking about it, and Jinhwan begging him wasn’t helping either. Before he could talk himself out of it he reached into his pants and pulled his dick out, angling his phone down to show Jinhwan live footage of himself holding it.   
  
There was something a little lewd about doing this over the phone and Jinhwan was beyond grateful that Junhoe was actually indulging him. He was pleased to see evidence that Junhoe was enjoying it too. “Have I ever told you that you actually have a really good dick?”   
  
Junhoe raised panicky eyes to his door as he turned the volume on his phone down. It probably wasn’t as loud as it was sounding to him, but he still waited for a moment, listening for footsteps in the hall. But none came.   
  
“Uh, yeah, I think you have, once or twice,” he replied nervously, taking a deep breath to try and get his heart calmed down.   
  
Jinhwan actually laughed at him, probably telling from the shakiness of the phone and his loud breathing that he’d gotten to him. “Do you always respond to compliments so half-heartedly?”   
  
Junhoe wondered if Jinhwan thought he was being rude. Had it been rude? He’d just been rattled by the unexpectedness of it. “Sorry, hyung, you just, ah, caught me off guard.”   
  
Jinhwan grinned, but felt weird listening to Junhoe apologize while he was still looking at his dick. It wasn’t really helping the mood. “Hey, put it back on your face for a minute.” Junhoe did as requested, and Jinhwan looked at him with a soft smile. “Calm down, okay? I just wanted to have a fun little video chat with you, but if you’re gonna be freaking out, maybe this isn’t a good idea.” Jinhwan had known him long enough by now (and he’d listened to Hanbin enough) to know that if he wanted Junhoe to do something, the best way to achieve it was to insinuate that he _couldn’t_ do it.   
  
It worked like a charm. “No, I’m fine!” Junhoe replied, almost offended. He could handle a stupid video chat. How lame did Jinhwan think he was? “I was half asleep when you called, just took me a few minutes to fully wake up. I’m good though, whatever you want.” What exactly did Jinhwan want with this video chat? He said he’d been horny all day. Did he want them to jerk off together or something?   
  
“Whatever I want?” Jinhwan asked, eyes narrowed and his tone as sulty as he could make it. It made Junhoe blush slightly, and Jinhwan had to keep from grinning.   
  
“Sure, whatever,” Junhoe replied, grabbing his dick again, “you wanna watch me rub one out or something? Is that why you called?”   
  
_Bingo._ “Yeah, actually I was hoping we could do that together. I watch you, and you watch me. I think we’ll both sleep better, right?”   
  
Junhoe nodded. “Okay, let’s do it?” Jinhwan winked at him and Junhoe switched his phone to his dick, because he didn’t want Jinhwan to see him blushing. Seconds later and Junhoe’s phone was showing Jinhwan’s dick, his fingers wrapped around it, a slow up and down motion already happening. Junhoe bit his lip watching it. It was hot, no doubt, but it felt kind of dirty, too.   
  
Jinhwan had no issue with it feeling dirty—in fact he liked it more for that point. Seeing Junhoe on his phone screen was exactly what he needed, and he made sure to moan loud enough for Junhoe to hear him. He could picture Junhoe’s blushing face in his mind. An angry blush, of course, because as soon as Junhoe realized he was blushing he’d be mad about it, embarrassed that someone had made his body react in a way that he couldn’t control.   
  
Junhoe did blush when he heard Jinhwan, but it also hit him harder than it would have had they been together. In the absence of certain senses, others made more of an impact. He clenched his fist tighter around himself, cursing himself for not keeping lube near his bed. If he didn’t stop to get some, he’d be tender in the morning. Should he stop?   
  
But it didn’t look like Jinhwan was using any. Besides, he couldn’t remember which drawer he’d stashed it in, and he didn’t want to break the moment.   
  
Jinhwan shifted his position a bit, draping himself off the side of his bed just enough so his head could hang down, because he sometimes liked the feeling of blood rushing to it. It made him feel even more lightheaded, enhanced the whole thing, made him feel like he was flying. He watched Junhoe’s hand on the screen, thought about how much bigger it was than his own, thought about it wrapped around himself and how good it had felt.   
  
Thought about how good it would feel inside of him. Thought about all of Junhoe inside of him. It’s not that he was getting impatient, or anything, but Jinhwan missed having sex. Sex with Junhoe would be different, of course, and maybe it might even be a little better. But he didn’t know how long it would be until Junhoe was ready for it. But still… It couldn’t hurt to throw the thought out there, could it?   
  
“Junhoe-ya,” Jinhwan sat up at bit, just to be closer to his phone so Junhoe could hear him, “I can’t wait until we finally fuck, I want all of you inside me.” He could hear Junhoe’s gasp of shock, and Jinhwan grinned at it, pleased at the response, “let’s do that soon, okay? I fuck you, and you fuck me.” Junhoe made a strangled noise of what seemed like assent, the shakiness of his video telling Jinhwan that the idea was clearly having a profound effect on Junhoe. It was enough to finish Jinhwan off, his whole body going tense as he shot his load onto his stomach.   
  
He hoped he’d managed to keep his phone pointed at it through it all. He flopped back onto the bed, eyes barely open, but apparently he’d been fine, because there on the screen was Junhoe, cumming on his own stomach with his own strangled cry of pleasure.   
  
It was exactly what he’d wanted, exactly what he’d hoped for. He switched back to his face, showing Junhoe a sleepy smile, his half closed eyes warm with affection.   
  
“Thanks Junhoe-ya, that was exactly what I needed.”   
  
Junhoe nodded, but he’d forgotten to switch his own cam back to his face, because his brain was stuck on what Jinhwan had said during the moment, about them actually fucking each other. Well, really he was stuck on the _“I want all of you inside me”_ comment, and now his brain was shorting out from the pleasure, not even able to respond with words.   
  
Jinhwan was just smiling at him though, he probably understood what he was feeling. Junhoe smiled back (not that Jinhwan could see it) and wanted to say something more, wanted to say something at all, but he couldn’t make his brain work.   
  
Instead he just watched as Jinhwan blew him a kiss over the phone and said goodnight. Then the screen went black, and Junhoe dropped his phone onto his bed.   
  
He couldn’t believe he’d just jerked off on video for Jinhwan. How the hell had Jinhwan managed to talk him into it? Now that it was over he couldn’t believe he’d done it. It was something he never would have expected himself to do, and Jinhwan had somehow gotten him to do it. Not that it had been bad, of course. It had been pretty hot. He’d enjoyed it.   
  
And of course, the whole _“I want all of you inside me”_ comment. He wouldn’t have heard that if they hadn’t done it.   
  
Was he ready for that? Was anyone ever _truly_ ready for it? He wanted to. Wanted his first time to be with Jinhwan. That much he was certain of. Everyone always said it was supposed to be special, but he liked Jinhwan, and that would make it special enough, wouldn’t it? It was all just experience, anyway. Jinhwan had taught him loads so far, he clearly knew what he was doing. Junhoe thought the experience was important.   
  
He picked his phone back up and started composing a text to Jinhwan on a whim, rushing the words before he talked himself out of it.   
  
_-i htink we shoudl have sex im readu-_ _  
_ _  
__-*ready-_  
  
Okay so it wasn’t just the one word he’d fucked up, was it? God, Jinhwan was probably laughing at him right now. That was why he wasn’t responding, wasn’t? Or had Jinhwan just fallen asleep right away?   
  
Junhoe thought about calling him, just to know. Just to fake a laugh about his multiple typos. Blame it on the post-orgasm brain-freeze. But he didn’t, he just laid there and waited for a response. Waited for Jinhwan to say something.   
  
But minutes went by with no reply, and Junhoe couldn’t possibly go to sleep right now. He was too embarrassed by his own stupid message. Sounded like some dumb kid who was jumping in excitement over being offered some reward. Like he couldn’t contain himself.   
  
Jinhwan had to be laughing at him. Junhoe felt so stupid, looking back at the message. Had too much time passed for him to excuse himself for the multiple typos? He should have done that right away. It was too awkward now, made it look like he was feeling insecure about it.   
  
_So stupid. Why are you so stupid and rash and immature and impatient and—_   
  
_-u sure??? u really want to????-_  
  
Junhoe dropped his phone again in relief after reading Jinhwan’s response. He wasn’t laughing, at least.   
  
_-sorry i was cleaning up uthere juneee answer me urnot just messing withme ru???-_ _  
_ _  
__-still here i mean it-_ Junhoe smiled and read over Jinhwan’s own excited response, feeling infinitely better now that he knew that Jinhwan simply hadn’t seen the message at first.   
  
_-if u r not being serious im gonna kick ur ass ok ive been waiting for this moment-_ _  
_ _  
__-nah im serious i promise i dont know when we can do it but i want to do it-_ _  
_ _  
__-ill figure something out ok its gonna be super good i promise ok?? thanks for telling me im gonna sleep so good now :)-_ _  
_ _  
__-:) me too hyung goodnight-_  
  
Junhoe wouldn’t be able to wipe the smile off his face if he’d tried. He laid his phone down on his bedside table, relieved and elated that Jinhwan seemed so excited over it. Of course he’d be excited over sex, but Junhoe was sure that Jinhwan seemed _extra_ excited, because it wasn’t just going to be sex. Jinhwan liked him enough to get excited over it.   
  
Because it was him. It was the pair of them, _together,_ that’s what had Jinhwan excited.   
  
Junhoe knew he wasn’t supposed to be thinking of this as anything more than casual, but it just didn’t _feel_ casual anymore, and he was sure that Jinhwan didn’t feel casual either.   
  
Maybe he’d bring it up the next time they were together. Or maybe he should just wait until after they had sex so he didn’t ruin things with his big mouth the way he usually did.   


* * *

  
As soon as he woke up the following morning the first thing Junhoe did was rummage through his dresser to find his hidden bottle of lube. He moved it to the drawer in his bedside table.   
  
He was halfway through breakfast when his mother told him about their weekend plans. “I’m going to ask your sister to come and stay over on Saturday night.”   
  
“What? Why?” Junhoe looked up from his rice, wondering if he’d heard her properly.   
  
“Your father and I got an invitation to spend the night at the Yuseong hot springs with some friends,” she explained, and Junhoe had to hold his chopsticks tight so he didn’t drop them, “and I don’t want you to be alone.”   
  
“Mom I’m fine, I can spend one night alone.” A night alone. Without his parents. He couldn’t get too excited, had to stay calm so she didn’t expect anything.   
  
“Ah, sweetie, I’d feel better if you weren’t by yourself.”   
  
“I’ll get Hanbin to stay over.” Hanbin would cover for him. He was sure of it.   
  
His mom seemed to consider that option. “I suppose that would be okay, then. Ask him and let me know, otherwise I’ll ask Yejin to come over with you.”   
  
“He’ll do it, don’t ask Yejin.” He was tempted to ask her why she trusted Hanbin more than she trusted him, but he didn’t want to risk the opportunity now that she’d agreed.   
  
“Alright, no need to get snippy, sweetheart,” his mom teasingly replied, “I’m sorry if you’re upset that I don’t want you staying by yourself, but you’re my baby, and I worry about you.”   
  
Junhoe could barely keep himself from rolling his eyes and giving her some rude reply. He couldn’t help his knee-jerk response, but if he wanted a night alone with Jinhwan, he’d have to steel himself. “So I can stay with Hanbin?”   
  
“Yes, I said it’s okay. We’ll probably leave in the afternoon, and we’ll be back around the same time on Sunday.” She walked over to his chair, leaning down to kiss his cheek. “I have to leave for work, so make sure you ask Hanbin, okay?”   
  
“Yeah sure,” Junhoe waved to her and waited until the door closed behind her before pulling out his phone, but it wasn’t Hanbin he texted first.   
  
_-my parents r away sat night u wanna come over?-_ He nervously waited for a response, wondered if Jinhwan would understand what he was asking for.   
  
_-seriously?? yeah im down-_ _  
_ _  
__-cool theyr going to a hot spring out of town so from sat afternoon til sun im by myself-_ _  
_ _  
__-u want me to stay over for the night?-_  
  
There it was. The ultimate question that would determine exactly what sort of invitation he was giving Jinhwan.   
  
_-yeah all night u cool?-_ _  
_ _  
__-fuck yeah im cool-_  


* * *

  
“Just one more bite, okay? You have one more, and then I’ll have one more, and we won’t tell mom.” Hanbin whispered conspiratorially to his sister, who was staunchly refusing to finish her breakfast.   
  
She looked between him and her plate, sighing loudly. “Okay.” She picked up her fork and filled it with one last bit of her food, unhappily eating it before handing her fork to Hanbin, who quickly shovelled the rest of it into his own mouth seconds before their mother entered the room.   
  
“Ah that’s horrible, is she okay?”   
  
Hanbin chewed the food quietly and watched his mom, who had a worried look on her face. He swallowed the food and looked down at Hanbyul, passing her a napkin to so she could wipe her mouth now that she was finished eating.   
  
“She’s going in on Monday? Oh so soon, that’s good, but we should come and see her. Do you have room for us? Are you sure? We could get a hotel room, it wouldn’t be a problem. Okay, well, we’ll see when we’re there. Thank you for calling me, I’ll call you later today, okay? Yes, I love you too, give her my love and tell her I’ll see her tomorrow.”   
  
He kept his questions to himself until she hung up. “What’s wrong? Is someone sick?”   
  
“My mother,” she answered him, looking at him and trying to keep her expression somewhat guarded, “she, well, she’s in the hospital. She’s okay, but we should go and see her.”   
  
Hanbin met her eyes, could see there was more she wanted to say, but was wary of saying it in front of Hanbyul. “Are we going to see her this weekend?”   
  
“I know you need to work on that project for your chemistry class, sweetheart, so you don’t have to come, but I’m going to go, at least. I’ll take Hanbyul too, your grandmother will want to see her.”   
  
“I can stay by myself, it’s no problem,” Hanbin offered, sure that the situation wasn’t so dire that death was a concern. His mother wouldn’t offer to let him stay here for school if that was the case.   
  
“I’m sure she’ll be fine, she has to have a visit with her doctor on Monday.”   
  
Hanbin nodded, could see the seriousness in her eyes. His grandmother had a minor heart condition, nothing truly troubling, but now that she was getting older, they were always more concerned. “I’m sure she’ll be okay, she’s tough, isn’t she, Byul?”   
  
Hanbyul nodded, not understanding the full scope of the situation. “Are we going to see her? She was just here.”   
  
Their mother nodded, smiling softly at Hanbyul. “Yes, she was, but she’s not feeling well and she wants to see you. You’ll make her feel better with a visit.”   
  
“But oppa isn’t coming?” Hanbyul pouted at Hanbin.   
  
“I have a project for school I have to finish,” he said, leaning down to kiss her, “otherwise I’d come too.”   
  
“Okay.” Hanbyul agreed with no further fuss.   
  
“Byul-ah, I put your outfit for today on your bed, can you and go and change please?” Hanbyul nodded and leapt down from her chair, running off to her bedroom.   
  
“Are you sure I don’t need to come? I can get an extension, my chem teacher likes me.” Hanbin was up out of his chair and in front of his mother, worried expression meeting hers.   
  
“Oh sweetie, all your teachers like you,” she teased him, “but really it’s okay. It’s just a routine operation we’ve been expecting, it’s just coming a bit sooner than we thought. It’s nothing to worry about though, okay?”   
  
“If it’s nothing to worry about, then why are you going to see her?” Hanbin knew she wouldn’t lie to him about the severity, but he was still concerned.   
  
“Ah, I’m just feeling worried and a little sentimental, I guess it’s a mom thing.” She replied before kissing his cheek. “Thank you for being worried, though. If you hadn’t just seen her this past weekend for your birthday, I’d probably ask you to come. But really, she’ll be fine. Besides, I’m sure you won’t mind having the weekend to yourself, right? You do have that project to finish.”   
  
Hanbin nodded, though his mind wasn’t just on the project. He couldn’t help but think about Bobby. Would his mom object if he asked her about Bobby staying over? Should he ask? Bobby’s parents might not even let him, so he shouldn’t get too excited yet.   
  
“Yeah, you’re right. Make sure you give her an extra hug for me, okay?”   
  
“I will, and I’ll call you so you can talk to her, okay? I’m sure she’d love to hear your voice.”   
  
“Okay, thanks mom.” Hanbin gave her a hug before sitting back down at the table to finish his own meal. But first he picked his phone up, sending a text to Bobby.   
  
_-hey hyung, parents are taking byul and going to stay with my grandma this weekend, you wanna come over and keep me company?-_ _  
_ _  
_ Bobby’s reply was immediate.   
  
_-yeah iwill!!! when can i come?-_ _  
_ _  
_ Hanbin smiled at his response, but just needed to make sure his intentions were clear. He’d been thinking about it, about how the time was right. When would he possibly get another opportunity like this, being alone for a weekend?   
  
_-saturday evening, i have a chem project i need to finish first. but you can stay all night, right?-_ _  
_ _  
__-u mean that?? really all night?-_ _  
_ _  
__-yeah all night :)-_ _  
_ _  
__-ok im there!! u sure its ok?-_ _  
_ _  
__-yeah its cool-_  
  
He hadn’t asked, but he knew his mom would probably expect it. He never went more than a few days at a time without his parents telling him that they trusted him to make good decisions for himself. He was responsible. He knew what he was getting into. They’d trust that.   
  
_-ok then i will see u tomorrow :))))-_ _  
_ _  
__-tomorrow ♥-_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As Junhoe would say: SEX!!!!!! is coming next chapter. ;)


	39. My Body's Yours Tonight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> First nights.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did I ever tell you guys this story was originally only expected to be about 20 chapters long? And now here we are, chapter 39, and they're only just having sex for the first time...
> 
> Anyway before we get into it I just wanted to say thank you to everyone who's stuck with me over this past year! It means a lot to me to read all your comments every chapter, that's half the reason why I've been able to keep writing this even when it gets frustrating for me. Your continued appreciation and enjoyment means everything to me. ♥♥♥

“I’ll call you a little later so you can talk to your grandmother, okay? So keep your phone by you. Unless you’re on a really good streak with your report, don’t pick up then, just call me back when you’re done.”  
  
Hanbin grinned at his mom and nodded. “Right, so you can make grandma think that I prioritize my education over my family?”   
  
His mom swatted his arm and shook her head. “She’ll already think you do since you’re not coming.” She was only teasing him, though.   
  
“True, but still, I’ll pick up.”   
  
She smiled at him and leaned in to kiss his cheek. “I made you some food for the weekend, it’s all in the fridge, all easy to heat up.” Hanbin nodded, grateful she’d done it for him. But the look on her face gave him a moment of concern before she dropped the unexpected.   
  
“I made enough for two people, in case you have company over.”   
  
Hanbin could physically feel his cheeks turning red. She meant Bobby. _Of course_ she meant Bobby, because she knew, even without asking her (which he really should have, just to prove he was responsible and didn’t have anything to hide).   
  
“Listen, sweetheart,” she waited until he looked at her before continuing, “whatever you do, be responsible. If you have company over, which you can, just make sure your report is done, and done well. That’s the whole reason I’m letting you stay home, after all. But when you’re finished if you want to have _someone_ over, just be smart. I know you will be, but consider this your reminder.”   
  
Hanbin’s smile was a little bashful in the face of his mother’s honesty. He didn’t deserve his parents. They were _too_ good to him sometimes. “Thanks, mom. I promise my report will take top priority, okay?”   
  
“It better.”   
  
He leaned forward and hugged her, still slightly embarrassed but pleased she’d brought it up. He locked the door behind her and stood with his back to it, grinning to himself. He pretty much had his parents’ blessing for a night with Bobby. His mom had actually cooked enough food for the both of them, _expecting_ him to come over.   
  
But Hanbin wasn’t about to invite him over without finishing his project, he was far too responsible and wasn’t about to disrespect his mother’s thoughtfulness either. So he went to his room and sat in front of his laptop at his desk, getting to work on his paper.   
  
Hanbin finished his report around six, spurred on by the promised reward of the coming night. He showered quickly and relaxed for a bit, texting with Donghyuk for a last minute pep talk about what to expect. Bobby showed up at exactly seven on the dot, as they’d agreed.   
  
“Did you really just get here, or have you been waiting in the hall for the exact time?” Hanbin teased him, standing back to watch as Bobby toed off his sneakers.   
  
“Get here early? Nah, sounds like something a loser would do.” Bobby teased back. He actually _had_ gotten there early, but he’d sat in the hall for ten minutes, getting himself together. Hanbin had told him seven, because of his report, and Bobby wanted to respect his timing.   
  
“Mm, sounds like something a loser would say.” Hanbin grinned, waiting for Bobby to drop his bag and shrug out of his coat before walking into his arms for a kiss. That kiss was interrupted by Bobby’s growling stomach.   
  
“You were serious about dinner, right? My mom tried to make me bring some food with me but I turned her down.”   
  
Hanbin grinned and pulled him into the kitchen, fixing them both a plate. “Not lying! Mom even specifically told me she’d made enough for two in case I had a guest.”   
  
Bobby grinned and wrapped his arms around Hanbin as he got the food ready. “Did you tell her I was coming over?”   
  
“No, but I guess it probably wasn’t a stretch for her to guess I’d be inviting you. Do you wanna go watch a movie while we eat?”   
  
“What kind of movie?” Bobby waggled his eyebrows, and Hanbin groaned.   
  
“Nothing dirty, okay? We’re eating first.” Hanbin led the way into the living room, where they settled on some action movie that Hanbin had seen before but Bobby hadn’t. Hanbin wasn’t sure how much he’d actually be concentrating on the movie, so he’d let Bobby pick.   
  
They sat close together while they ate, but they didn’t get entangled with each other until after they’d finished eating, and that was when Hanbin’s nerves decided to sneak up on him, unexpected and unannounced.   
  
He was sitting in the corner of the couch, Bobby next to him, and Hanbin had a leg thrown over Bobby’s lap. Bobby’s fingers were squeezing his leg, no real pattern to the movement. But Hanbin’s eyes couldn’t stray far from them for long.   
  
It was stupid. He’d been perfectly fine an hour ago, when he’d been talking to Donghyuk. He’d done a barrage of reading about it lately, ever since he and Bobby had exchanged their _I love yous._ Reading about things always made Hanbin feel better about them, made him feel like he understood everything. So why was he getting nervous _now_ ?   
  
His nerves must have been projecting outward more than he’d realized because Bobby suddenly paused the movie and looked at him.   
  
“You okay, Bin?”   
  
Hanbin nodded, trying to fake it. “Yeah of course.”   
  
Bobby knew better, though. “Let’s lie down instead, okay?” Bobby got up and pulled on Hanbin’s hands until he stood up, and maybe it was the slightly ridiculous dance of it all that made him feel a little less nervous as he settled down in front of Bobby, smiling when Bobby wrapped an arm over him.   
  
“Is this better?” Bobby’s voice was at his ear, all affection as he kissed Hanbin’s neck.   
  
It was better.   
  
“Yeah, this is good.” Bobby started the movie back up and Hanbin relaxed for a while, his mind half on the movie, half on how nice it felt to lie down with him, how comfortable he was with the weight of Bobby’s arm over his chest. A few minutes later and Bobby’s left leg had snuck its way over Hanbin’s, like some kind of cuddly koala wrapping himself around a branch. Hanbin closed his eyes for a minute.   
  
Bobby, on the other hand, was having the hardest time being polite about the whole thing. It was still fairly early in the evening and he didn’t want to rush Hanbin into anything. But he’d been thinking about this literally all day after thinking about it all night, and now a palpable desire had settled on his shoulders, whispering in his ear to speed things up.   
  
Watching the movie was helping, because it was something he was actually interested in, but it couldn’t stave off the excitement that came from knowing that very soon he was going to have Hanbin completely naked underneath him. It also didn’t help matters that Hanbin’s ass was _right there_ against his dick (which was already getting hard, despite how much he was trying to control himself).   
  
He wasn’t an animal with no self control. He could handle this. He could totally handle the waiting without getting too impatient.   
  
Hanbin’s focus was on the movie, though his fingers were playing with Bobby’s hand. It was comfortable, being this close, it was nice to do it without wondering if someone was going to walk in on them. But then he shifted just slightly and the effect was automatic. Bobby’s dick was totally hard and totally pressed against his ass and it brought Hanbin’s nerves rearing back out.   
  
_Calm down, stupid, this is entirely what you invited him over here for, quit freaking out about it!_ But the longer they laid together like that the more it got to Hanbin, the more wound up he felt, like he needed to move, like he was caged in. He turned over suddenly, unaware of the panicky look on his face.   
  
“Do you still wanna watch this?”   
  
Bobby had been waiting for Hanbin to say the word, and his first instinct was to abandon the movie immediately. But there was a tightness in Hanbin’s posture that he recognized, and of course it was there on his face too, the nervous tension he must be feeling. Bobby was actually proud of himself for recognizing the signs instead of listening to his own needs.   
  
“Yeah, actually I’m really into the movie.” He even picked up the remote and paused it, grinning at Hanbin in a teasing way. If he played into Hanbin’s nerves right away he’d probably just get even more worked up. Hanbin usually relaxed with a bit of teasing, though.   
  
Hanbin let out an annoyed huff of breath because he couldn’t just lie there anymore, he was going to go crazy. “Well, I don’t want to watch it.” But he didn’t really want to do anything else, either. He just needed to stand up. Maybe if they swapped spots and he lied down behind Bobby he’d feel better.   
  
“Well there are other things you can do while I finish watching it.” Bobby teased again, just to see how Hanbin would react.   
  
Hanbin sat up and narrowed his eyes, glaring at Bobby. Was he really suggesting that right now?   
  
Bobby couldn’t help but laugh at Hanbin’s insulted expression. “Oh come on, I was teasing you, don’t get that look.”   
  
Hanbin shook his head and smacked him in the arm. “I can’t believe you’re that selfish.”   
  
“Excuse me? What did you think I was suggesting?” Bobby asked, pretending offense and grabbing Hanbin’s arm as he tried to hit him again.   
  
Hanbin was still glaring. “You want me to blow you again, don’t you?”   
  
Bobby gasped in dramatic offense. “Hanbin! Do you really think I’d suggest that?”   
  
Hanbin didn’t answer, just tried to wrench his arm free, but Bobby held it tightly.   
  
“You can’t deny it’s a good opportunity for some practice, right?”   
  
_The nerve._ “Hyung!”   
  
“You’re nervous, I get it—”   
  
“I am not!” Hanbin’s answer was super defensive, he knew it as soon as he said it. There was no helping it, though.   
  
Bobby’s expression softened, as did his grip on Hanbin’s arm. “Why are you lying? It’s okay, you’re allowed to be nervous.” Bobby actually thought it was cute. Hanbin was so rarely nervous, and it just made him think about Hanbin’s secrets again, and that just made him want to hug him.   
  
Hanbin was about to protest but suddenly he realized that maybe Bobby was right. Hanbin _was_ nervous about the sex, there was no disputing that. But maybe it would help if he didn’t try hiding from it before they actually got to it. Studying things made him feel better, after all. Maybe that’s what he needed to do with Bobby.   
  
“I can’t believe I’m about to say this, but you’re actually right. I should practice.”   
  
“What?” Hanbin’s sudden turn of thought confused Bobby.   
  
“I am super nervous, I’m trying not to be but I am. And I have all of this nervous energy that won’t let me lie still with you right now, and I need to expend it somehow. I think it’ll help me if I get all up close and personal, you know?”   
  
Bobby grinned at him, because he’d only suggested it as a joke. But now it seemed like Hanbin had actually gone and found some logical reasoning for it. Bobby wasn’t about to protest, not if Hanbin was getting behind the idea. “Are you sure you want to?”   
  
Hanbin nodded. “Yeah, I’m sure.” He stood up and looked down at Bobby. “You finish watching the movie, and I’m going to play with your mini me.”   
  
Bobby laughed at the explanation, happy when he saw Hanbin laughing about it too. “Okay, if you’re sure that’ll help you. We could just go to your room, if you want?”   
  
Hanbin shook his head. “God, no. The more I think about it the better this is. If we tried to get started now I’d honestly probably just clam up. I think I need to ease into it a bit slower.”   
  
Bobby smiled at him, happy Hanbin had figured himself out. “Alright, you’re in charge. I’ll do my best not to get riled up too early.”   
  
“If you do I’ll just bite you,” Hanbin teased him, reaching down for Bobby’s hands. “Pants off, come on.”   
  
Bobby let Hanbin pull him up, and when he was standing he pulled Hanbin in for a quick kiss. “If you change your mind, just say the word.”   
  
“I will, I promise.” They kissed again and Bobby grinned when Hanbin slid his hand down the back of his pants and pinched his ass. “Come on, quit wasting time.”   
  
“You’re so eager now,” Bobby replied before shoving his pants down over his hips and kicking them off his feet. “You know, I think I might be in for some trouble when I get you all experienced.”   
  
Hanbin grinned at the comment. “Oh yeah? What kind of trouble?”   
  
“You have a bit of a bossy streak,” Bobby replied teasingly.   
  
Hanbin actually blushed a little. “Well, you’d better be good to me, then, before I take it out on you.”   
  
“I will be, baby, don’t you worry.” Bobby tried to kiss him again but Hanbin pushed him back onto the couch.   
  
“Don’t be gross.”   
  
Bobby laughed and got himself situated on the couch, sitting in the corner where Hanbin had started the night, left leg drawn up and pushed into the back cushion, right leg laying flat. He watched as Hanbin laid down in between his legs, trying to keep a leash on his own excitement.   
  
He unpaused the movie and focused back on the TV, because he was sure that watching would only make Hanbin feel nervous again. It would probably also make it even harder on him to fight the urges.   
  
Hanbin was happy to have the background noise of the movie, it helped to keep his mind half distracted. He was lying down right in front of Bobby’s lap, and he could see Bobby’s erection straining up inside his boxers. Of course he was wearing the ugly bright purple ones that Hanbin hated (well, kind of hated, because they matched the stupid purple beanie he’d started wearing recently, and Hanbin would never admit it to his face, but they were growing on him).   
  
“Hyung, can I make a request?”   
  
Bobby looked down at him, pausing the movie. “Yeah, babe?”   
  
“Next time can you wear something a little more sexy? Boxers really don’t do anything for you.” Hanbin grinned as he teased him. Teasing always helped. Always.   
  
Bobby shook his head. It was good that Hanbin was in a teasing mood, that meant he was feeling better. “Noted. I admit I wasn’t really expecting to be wearing them for that long.” Hanbin winked at him before returning his attention to the offending piece of clothing, and Bobby took that as his cue to unpause the movie and try to pay attention to it again. Which was proving to be difficult.   
  
Hanbin ran his fingers over Bobby’s abs for a moment, pushing his shirt up a bit to look at them. It was calming, and after a few seconds he slipped a few fingers under the waistband of the boxers and pulled them down, his other hand wrapping itself around Bobby’s dick.   
  
He was glad he’d decided to do this, because now that he was here with it in front of his face he felt nervous again. But it wouldn’t last, he knew that. It was just like learning a new form of math, or trying some new chemistry formula in the lab. He just needed a few minutes to get familiar with it, and he’d be fine.   
  
Bobby bit his lip to keep from making any noise when Hanbin touched him. He was staring so hard at the TV that he was barely seeing anything, trying to keep his focus off of Hanbin. He couldn’t enjoy this too much right now, because it wasn’t foreplay, technically. This was for Hanbin, to let off all his nervous energy.   
  
_Movie. Focus on the movie._   
  
Hanbin’s grip wasn’t very tight, it was more exploratory, because the first time he’d done this had been outside in the dark, and it had been more about just doing it then it had been about paying attention. But being up close with it now made it all a little less scary, took away some of the mystery. He took the tip of it into his mouth, closed his eyes while he swirled his tongue around it. He wasn’t really doing any of it with the intention of getting Bobby off. He was just _getting to know it,_ it was like a little bizarre pre-sex worship, like they were communicating.   
  
_I’m going to let you get all the way inside me very soon, so please be good to me?_   
  
Bobby would probably laugh at him (definitely laugh at him) but the idea was kind of comforting to Hanbin. He pulled back and stared at it for a bit, ran his fingers up and down the length.   
  
_You’re not that scary, really. You’re not even that big, plenty of guys have taken bigger than you. Not that I’m insulting you! Just saying, you know, I’m sure you’ll be fine, I’ll be fine, we’ll get along just fine. I’m sure I’ll even love having you in me, once I get used to it._   
  
“Bin? Stop staring, you’re making him uncomfortable.” Bobby couldn’t help it, when Hanbin had pulled it back out of his mouth and had just sat there staring Bobby had glanced quickly down at him. The look on Hanbin’s face was serious, like he was scrutinizing it.   
  
Hanbin blushed at Bobby’s teasing comment, because it was way too close to the mark and he’d just die if Bobby knew what he’d been thinking, knew the conversation he’d been having in his head with his dick.   
  
“Honestly if you’re worried, don’t be. It’ll fit, you’ll be fine.” Bobby couldn’t help but make the joke, hoped he wasn’t pushing it a bit too far.   
  
Hanbin reached back and grabbed a pillow, whipping it against Bobby’s chest.   
  
“Shut up, I know it’ll fit, okay. I’ve done my research, I’ve watched enough porn to know how it works.”   
  
Bobby laughed at the reply, which only made Hanbin hit him with the pillow again. “Why are you watching porn without me? Who are you watching it with?” Bobby had lost all interest in the movie now, his focus firmly on Hanbin.   
  
“I don’t have to watch porn with anyone, maybe I’ve been watching it by myself.” He had watched the majority of it by himself, but recently he and Donghyuk had watched one together. Mostly for some last minute _studying._   
  
“For pleasure or research?” Bobby teased, shielding himself when Hanbin hit him again. Hanbin was trying to be annoyed, Bobby could see the look on his face. But he was also embarrassed, like he felt guilty for watching porn. Bobby thought it was adorable.   
  
“Aren’t you supposed to be watching your movie?” Hanbin whined.   
  
“Maybe we should watch a different kind of movie?” Bobby said, wondering if he could manage to flip their positions and pin Hanbin beneath him. Bobby had been on the receiving end of more than enough moves from Jinhwan over the years, and he was sure he could pull one off.   
  
“We are not watching porn, get that thought out of your head.” Hanbin replied, whacking him with the pillow again.   
  
Bobby went for it while Hanbin was distracted, grabbing his arms and pulling a struggling Hanbin down onto his back. Maybe he should have tucked himself into his boxers before, though, because the band was inching back up now, trapping his dick in a slightly uncomfortable position. It was worth it, though.   
  
“Let me up, this is bullshit, you’re too heavy!” Hanbin whined, annoyed that Bobby had caught him off guard. He didn’t really mind, though, in fact getting manhandled like that was kind of hot.   
  
“You’re fine, stop crying,” Bobby teased, grabbing Hanbin’s hand and pinning it to the couch behind his back. Hanbin looked like he was about to protest, but then their eyes met and everything died on the tip of his tongue, and Bobby knew that look, didn’t waste any time in crushing their lips together, desperate for a kiss.   
  
Hanbin wrapped his free arm around Bobby’s back, no complaints about the weight now. He even raised his knee, grinding his leg against Bobby’s dick, providing him with the friction he’d been so desperate for. He was grateful Hanbin was in jogging pants and not jeans. Bobby let go of Hanbin’s other arm and dug his arms down around him, holding Hanbin tightly while he rocked himself against Hanbin’s leg.   
  
Hanbin’s freed hand was in Bobby’s hair now, holding his head while they continued kissing. Bobby was certain it was going to happen now, there was a completely different energy coming from Hanbin, none of the former trepidation or nervous anxiety. Just desire.   
  
Bobby used one hand to shove his offending boxers off, and Hanbin didn’t seem bothered in the slightest. Instead he ran a hand over Bobby’s ass, pinching it again. Bobby responded by running a hand underneath Hanbin’s shirt, fingers brushing over his stomach. Hanbin gasped against him, his breath hitching just slightly in his throat. Bobby wanted to hear more of it.   
  
“Bin?” He asked into Hanbin’s neck, kissed him just under the jaw, and when he finally looked up to meet Hanbin’s eyes Hanbin nodded, and there it was.   
  
_Let’s go. It’s time._

* * *

  
Jinhwan had played the piece so many times that the notes came to him like breathing, his fingers moved from sheer muscle memory. He no longer needed to look at the music sheet, he knew it all off by heart. He played it from start to finish without a single error, and even though Junhoe didn’t really know anything about classical music, he was still really impressed, and it made Jinhwan feel really good about playing for him.   
  
“Wow, hyung, you’re so good, seriously. You’re amazing. I always forget how nice the trumpet actually sounds. It’s really pretty.”   
  
Jinhwan smiled and laid the instrument back in its case. “Well, if that’s my one lasting impression I leave on you, then I’ve done my work.”   
  
Junhoe watched him as he packed it away. Jinhwan had played a few pieces for him as a surprise, for which Junhoe was really grateful now. It was like seeing a different part of Jinhwan that he rarely got to see. It reminded him of the concert they’d gone to together, which seemed so long ago now. But that had really been a huge turning point in their relationship, now that he thought about it. Musician Jinhwan was so different from fighter Jinhwan. He had a different sort of passion, more agreeable and not so out of reach.   
  
But he wasn’t above teasing Jinhwan for that passion. “Well, I mean I think that now. But like I said, I keep forgetting.”   
  
Jinhwan rolled his eyes. “What, you expect me to stick around and give you constant reminders about the beauty of brass instruments?”   
  
Junhoe grinned back at him. “Yeah, pretty much.”   
  
Jinhwan finished with the trumpet and joined him on the couch, smacking his leg. “You’re so annoying.”   
  
“I know, everyone tells me that all the time.”   
  
“That’s not something you’re supposed to be proud of!” Jinhwan replied, and Junhoe’s arrogant little shrug was oddly endearing. “You might want to cut back on being annoying tonight, by the way.”   
  
“Oh? Why’s that? Is tonight special?” Tonight _was_ special, but Junhoe was in a teasing mood.   
  
“Oh not at all,” Jinhwan replied, “it’s tomorrow I’m worried about.”   
  
Junhoe looked at him in confusion. “What’s happening tomorrow?”   
  
“I have my entrance exam for the music program at SNU,” Jinhwan replied, smiling to cover the conflicted feelings he had.   
  
“Wait, your test is tomorrow?” Junhoe hadn’t known that, and it suddenly made him feel annoyingly nervous. “Are you sure you wanna, you know, tonight?” Ugh, what was it his sister had said to him? _If you can’t talk about sex out loud, you shouldn’t be having it._ Embarrassing.   
  
“Oh don’t worry about me, I’ve been ready for weeks,” Jinhwan replied, “I just meant that I hope you’re not terrible tonight.” He grinned when Junhoe’s cheeks turned red. He loved the way that Junhoe blushed so easily. It made teasing him that much more fun.   
  
“Well, that’s kind of what I meant, hyung,” Junhoe replied through gritted teeth, “I don’t want to throw you off for tomorrow.”   
  
“Oh be quiet,” Jinhwan replied, moving closer to him and putting his arm around Junhoe’s shoulders, “I was just teasing you. If we don’t do this tonight then I probably will flunk my test tomorrow because the only thing I’ll be able to think about is how I could have had my dick in your ass tonight.”   
  
Junhoe frowned at him, embarrassed that he always seemed to let Jinhwan’s teasing get under his skin. “Who said anything about you getting in my ass tonight?”   
  
Jinhwan seemed to ponder the question. “Well, I suppose I _could_ let you fuck me too, it just probably won’t last very long and won’t do anything for me.”   
  
Junhoe knew that Jinhwan was just teasing him, and he knew that he should probably tease him back to avoid giving himself away, but for some reason he couldn’t. It was like his brain was stuck on the idea of wanting this night to be so perfect that Jinhwan would change his mind about their dating status. It was stupid. He was only digging his own grave by letting those thoughts control him.   
  
Jinhwan waited for the retort he’d been expecting Junhoe to make, but he was surprised to see him clamming up and looking nervous instead. “Hey, I’m sorry if I’m not helping. I guess you’re more nervous than I thought you were. Sorry.” He squeezed Junhoe’s knee. “I do really want to fuck you, and I think this is the perfect opportunity for your first time. But if you’re really not ready for that then we don’t have to. I’ll just let you fuck me, okay? And don’t think about my test tomorrow, honestly nothing will make me flunk it.”   
  
Junhoe fixed his eyes on the wall, embarrassed that Jinhwan had so accurately called him out on his nerves. “It’s okay hyung, I want both.”   
  
“Are you sure?” Jinhwan wasn’t sure that he believed him, but Junhoe probably just needed to be talked up for it.   
  
“Yeah, I’m sure.” Junhoe wasn’t entirely sure, but Jinhwan was right that this was the perfect opportunity, and he’d be stupid to pass it up.   
  
Jinhwan squeezed his leg again. If Junhoe was going to push ahead, the least Jinhwan could do is make it as easy as possible for him. “Okay, well, I think that I should probably let you fuck me first, then. You’ll be more relaxed.”   
  
Junhoe nodded, and suddenly the whole reality of the situation reached out and slapped him across the face. He was going to fuck Jinhwan. He was actually going to _fuck Jinhwan._   
  
Jinhwan stood up and tugged on Junhoe’s hand. “You wanna just go do it now? I know it’s still kinda early, and we have a ton of time tonight, but you wanna go now?”   
  
Junhoe nodded and let Jinhwan pull him up. There was no sense in delaying anything, he’d probably just get in his own way if they did. He led the way to his bedroom, all the while his brain was only semi-functioning, still hung up on the whole _holy shit we’re about to have sex!!_ while also freaking out about it _oh fuck we’re actually doing this oh god oh no fuck are we ready we’re not ready we’re so not ready what are we doing??_   
  
Junhoe moved liked he was in a daze, just going through the motions without understanding them. He moved to his bedside table where he’d stashed condoms. He needed one, didn’t he? He turned around to see Jinhwan, who was just standing there, watching him with an amused smirk.   
  
“You don’t need that just yet,” Jinhwan replied, reaching out for Junhoe’s hand and tossing the condom back on the table. “Come here.” Jinhwan pulled him in closer, his hands settling around the back of Junhoe’s neck to pull his head down. He kissed him, soft and deep, and it had the desired effect of calming Junhoe down a little.   
  
“Lie down,” Jinhwan instructed, and Junhoe did as suggested, lying back on his bed, breath nearly catching in his throat as he watched Jinhwan pull his hoodie off, tossing it on the floor. Junhoe wondered if he should take his own off. But Jinhwan hadn’t told him to.   
  
Jinhwan slipped out of his jeans next, letting them pool on the floor near his hoodie, before quickly taking his socks off too. He had a slight trauma regarding socks. He’d left them on one time with Eric, and it had been so distracting to him that he’d had to stop half way through to take them off. Eric had laughed at him for weeks afterwards, always making an ordeal out of taking his socks off.   
  
In only his underwear and t-shirt he straddled Junhoe on the bed, looking down at him with expert eyes. He really didn’t know how this was going to go. Junhoe might surprise him, or he might cum way premature, before he even got it inside Jinhwan. He’d been nervous about blowjobs, but the nerves in Junhoe now seemed amplified about tenfold.   
  
Jinhwan leaned down, settling across Junhoe’s body, and kissed him again. After lying stock still for a moment Junhoe moved his hands, settling them over Jinhwan’s back. Jinhwan pulled up and looked at him.   
  
“You’re not going to be fucking my back, are you?”   
  
Junhoe’s expression back at him was confused. “What?”   
  
Jinhwan just grinned and winked at him. “Grab my ass, Junhoe.” Junhoe blushed but did as told, and Jinhwan rewarded him with another kiss, grinding down against him while Junhoe groped him. At least he was taking direction as well as ever.   
  
Junhoe wasn’t sure why he felt so weird about this all of a sudden. Jinhwan was laughing at him already, but there wasn’t anything new about that. Was he just making everything into a bigger deal than it was? All he had to do was relax and let Jinhwan tell him what to do. It had worked wonderfully for him so far.   
  
He thought back to the blindfolded sparring session, the moment that had been the true catalyst for everything. Jinhwan had been the one making the moves, from that day onward. Jinhwan hadn’t steered him wrong yet, had he? He wouldn’t do it tonight either. Junhoe just had to let go of his worries and listen to him.   
  
Jinhwan could feel Junhoe settle beneath him, all of a sudden it felt like half the tension was gone from his body. It was like Junhoe had finally managed to wrestle the worst of his nerves down to a manageable level. That was good.   
  
Jinhwan sat up and pulled his shirt off, tossing it behind him while Junhoe stared at him. “Do you have lube?”   
  
Junhoe nodded. “Yeah, in the drawer.” He watched as Jinhwan stood up and went to retrieve it, his eyes roaming over Jinhwan’s mostly naked body in appreciation. He felt too warm all of a sudden, sitting up and tugging his own hoodie off and throwing it on the floor.   
  
Jinhwan smirked at his loss of clothing and looked pointedly at his denim-clad legs. “Might as well lose those too.” He watched as Junhoe hastily took his jeans off. “Give me your hand,” Jinhwan said, holding his own out. Junhoe offered up a palm and Jinhwan squirted some of the lube into it. “Rub it in your hands to warm it up,” Jinhwan instructed, before tossing the bottle on the bed and pulling his underwear off. Junhoe stared, mouth gaping, as Jinhwan laid face down on the bed, a pillow under his hips and his legs spread.   
  
_Oh my god it’s happening what do I do?_   
  
“Is it warmed up?” Jinhwan asked, looking back over his shoulder at Junhoe. He grinned when he saw the stupefied look on Junhoe’s face. “Like the visual?”   
  
Junhoe snapped out of it with the teasing question, shaking his head. “Yeah, it’s warm.”   
  
“You know what that’s for, right?” Jinhwan asked, grinning when Junhoe blushed. “You need to work a few fingers in first, okay? Just start with one.”   
  
“Yeah I got that figured out.” Junhoe replied defensively, before glaring at Jinhwan’s teasing grin. Okay, he could handle this. No big deal. Dudes fingered each other all the time, right?   
  
He listened to Jinhwan’s instructions, did what he was told to do, and even though it was really weird and a little uncomfortable at first, when he saw the way it made Jinhwan react, he started to feel better about the whole thing. He’d found the _little walnut_ as Jinhwan had described it, and it was wild, honestly, the way Jinhwan reacted every time he brushed it with his fingers. He moaned and hissed and clenched around Junhoe’s fingers, like a scene straight out of a porn. Junhoe was doing it all.   
  
Jinhwan wasn’t faking it for him—Junhoe’s fingers felt fantastic. But he was ready for more. “Okay, I’m ready, so let’s do this.” He pulled forward and turned over, smirking at Junhoe’s surprised expression.   
  
“Junhoe-ya? Now’s the time for the condom.” Jinhwan winked at him, and Junhoe nodded before getting to his feet and reaching for the little packet. His fingers fumbled with it, he couldn’t seem to get it to tear open.   
  
But Jinhwan was there, taking it from his fingers. “Everything off, hurry up.” Junhoe pulled his shirt off and dropped it on the floor, his underwear following suit. “Socks too, it’s just weird if you keep them on.”   
  
Jinhwan sat down on the edge of the bed, right in front of him, and Junhoe looked down at him expectantly, pulse racing. He felt like his heart might explode in his chest at any second. Before putting the condom on, Jinhwan took Junhoe in his mouth for a moment, cheeks hollowed in suction against him. Junhoe grabbed Jinhwan’s head, his fingers running through Jinhwan’s hair.   
  
After a minute Jinhwan pulled off, grinning up at Junhoe while he slid the condom over him. “You ready?”   
  
Junhoe nodded, and he actually did feel ready. He waited for Jinhwan to get himself situated, and the visual itself was almost enough for him, Jinhwan splayed out wide open in front of him. What was Junhoe supposed to do with him? (He knew what he was supposed to do, but it still felt completely surreal to him.)   
  
“Just push it in, but stay still for a minute, okay?” Jinhwan told him, biting back a joke about not wanting Junhoe to cum as soon as he got in.   
  
Junhoe didn’t answer in words, he just did as he was told. It felt weird right now. Like he felt ready, but he also felt like he wasn’t even present, like someone else had taken over his body and he was just there, watching. He watched as hands that didn’t even feel like they belonged to him gripped Jinhwan’s hips, as they lined his dick up with Jinhwan’s hole. He pushed forward, burying himself in, and he couldn’t even breathe at first, too shocked with the fact that he was here right now, his dick inside Jinhwan.   
  
He suddenly thought back to the very first time they’d met. Jinhwan, looking at him with that smug expression, and Junhoe, an immature and overconfident punk, who thought he’d kick Jinhwan’s ass just because he was bigger. It had taken them months to get to this point, months for Junhoe to feel like somewhat of an _equal._   
  
Jinhwan felt giddy in the moment in a way he hadn’t felt in a while. He was Junhoe’s _first,_ and he felt weirdly proud about that. He’d never been anyone’s first before. He’d never been the one teaching someone else everything he knew. He clenched around Junhoe, revelled in the feeling of having him in all the way. He missed this, missed having someone inside him.   
  
It was a far cry from what he was used to, though. Junhoe was being obedient to a fault, following Jinhwan’s exact instructions. He was in, but he wasn’t moving, because Jinhwan hadn’t told him to move yet. It was cute.   
  
Jinhwan didn’t want it to be cute, though. He wanted it to be hot and wild and passionate, because it was easy to get lost in that. But _cute_ made things dangerous. _Cute_ made feelings surface that weren’t supposed to be surfacing.   
  
“Junhoe-ya, you can move now,” Jinhwan teased, looked back at him over his shoulder again, and _now_ Junhoe’s face gave Jinhwan what he was looking for. Now he looked _hot,_ he looked exactly the way Jinhwan wanted him to look.   
  
Junhoe was on autopilot, like he was letting someone else control him. He knew, essentially, _what_ he was supposed to do. He just wasn’t entirely sure _how_ to do it. Thankfully Jinhwan was able to work around him, his own movements helping Junhoe to figure out what he was supposed to be doing. After a slow start he picked the pace up, his fingers digging deep into Jinhwan’s hips, clamped tightly into his skin.   
  
He’d probably forget everything about this later on, but right now in the middle of it he felt everything so acutely, even though there was so much going on. There was too much, though, eventually everything caught up to him and before he knew it Junhoe was crashing. He came hard, his muscles seizing up on him, he had this weird sensation of feeling almost strangled, but in a good way.   
  
Then he just felt like he was floating, collapsed over Jinhwan’s back, arms around him, panting heavy against his skin. If you’d asked him his name, he’d have probably forgotten it for a moment.   
  
Jinhwan had far better control over himself, thought it had been surprisingly good for him too. Junhoe had lasted longer than he’d expected, and his thrusts had been full of power when he’d finally gotten himself into the proper role. It gave Jinhwan a lot of hope for future sessions.   
  
But right now he felt like he was being crushed under the dead weight of a nearly comatose Junhoe, and he did his best to squirm out from under him without disturbing him too much. Jinhwan’s breathing was hard too, his own limbs felt shaky and even as he sat up his knees trembled, and he didn’t know if they’d support his weight right away.   
  
So he sat and watched him, the way his body rose with every breath. Despite Junhoe’s dramatics, despite his over the top behaviour, despite how loud he could be and how annoying he could get, despite it all Jinhwan liked him, _a lot,_ and he knew that if it weren’t for the fact that he was planning to leave, he’d possibly even fall even harder for him. The bottom line was that Junhoe was _good_ for him. He listened, he followed, and Jinhwan liked it. Being with Junhoe made him feel responsible and mature, like he had someone who looked up to him and relied on him for things.   
  
He waited it out, there on the edge of the bed, waited for Junhoe to finally have the presence of mind to roll over and look up at him, blinking open one bleary eye, and Jinhwan smiled back at him.   
  
“Hyung,” Junhoe grunted out, his voice hoarse despite his barely making any noise.   
  
“Was it good?” Jinhwan asked, and Junhoe responded with an affirmative kind of grunt. Jinhwan leaned down to brush a kiss over his forehead. “You ready for me?”   
  
Junhoe hummed in agreement, because he couldn’t form words.   
  
Jinhwan didn’t need words, though. Didn’t need them at all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my, look at that, it got so long I had to break this up into two chapters. Ever so sorry. ;)
> 
> But on a (really happy, for me) closing note, I actually have the majority of the rest of the story written in rough draft!! Which will make updating way easier for me now for the rest of the fic. So there won't be any more delays with the rest of this. :)


	40. Physical

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A continuation of the first nights.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FYI: in case you didn't notice, I've put a "tentative" end goal for the number of chapters in this story. This is not definite, though, since I only have the rough draft complete. So it's very possible that I might add another chapter or two, if my re-writes end up running long. But it's there, the looming finality. There's probably only two months left for the story.
> 
> Just wanted to let you guys know. :)

Bobby couldn’t do anything except stare. He’d waited months for this, longer than he’d ever waited for anything before. He had Hanbin right there in front of him, completely naked and lying face down on his bed, head pillowed on his arms, waiting. It was funny in a way—now that he was finally here, Bobby was the one taking his time and drawing it out.   
  


Once Hanbin had finally let down his guard on the couch he’d been putty in Bobby’s hands, had given him control of everything. He wondered if it would always be like this, Hanbin soft as a kitten, letting him dictate everything. He doubted that it would last long, because Hanbin did have a rather aggressive side. Bobby had never been with anyone like that before, he’d always gone for partners that didn’t fight him, ones that would let him run everything.   
  
It was surprising to realize that he hoped Hanbin  _ wouldn’t _ stay like this. The time would come when Hanbin was going to push back, when he was going to be experienced enough to start pushing Bobby around, and Bobby almost couldn’t believe that he was actually looking forward to it. But maybe that’s how he knew that his feelings for Hanbin were legit, and that they were meant to last. Hanbin had made him start to long for things that he’d  _ never _ wanted before. Like actually  _ being _ fucked. Bobby had never let any of his exes even suggest a swap in their roles before. But he wanted Hanbin to do it one day, whenever he was ready. He wanted to give that gift to Hanbin. It was weird to think about it, but still a little exciting.   
  
After enough waiting Hanbin finally looked at Bobby over his shoulder, his face pulled in a petulant frown. “What’s taking you so long?”   
  
Bobby grinned back at him before he reached out and slid a hand over the back of Hanbin’s thigh, fingers skimming over the soft skin. “Patience, Bin-ah,” Bobby said teasingly, “I can’t just slam it in.”   
  
“Yeah I know,” Hanbin replied with a slightly irritated tone, “just because I haven’t done it, doesn’t mean I haven’t done my research.”   
  
“Ah right, all that porn you’ve been watching,” Bobby teased again, before leaning down to kiss the back of Hanbin’s thigh.   
  
Hanbin squirmed at the kiss, slightly embarrassed at how much he liked it. “I’m not talking about porn,” Hanbin replied, feeling the need to explain himself despite the situation, “porn’s hardly realistic. I mean I read a lot of things about it. A bunch of articles about what to expect. Donghyuk lent me this book he has, it’s in English but I understood most of it.”   
  
Bobby listened to him ramble on and he was hit with this fleeting feeling like he didn’t even care if they actually had sex tonight. This is what he wanted—to just be  _ intimate _ with Hanbin. Lying together, naked, just talking. It was oddly fulfilling and he was certain that Jinhwan would laugh at him for feeling that way.   
  
He trailed his mouth a little further up Hanbin’s thigh, his tongue dragging a trail over his skin. He brought both hands up to Hanbin’s ass, squeezed his cheeks lightly. Hanbin whined at the contact and Bobby watched as he grinded himself down into the blankets. He didn’t think Hanbin probably realized he was doing it.   
  
With a final squeeze Bobby sat back on his heels and grabbed for the bottle of lube that lay on the bed by his feet. He squeezed a generous amount into his palm to warm up, and without saying a word he ran a lubed up finger in between Hanbin’s cheeks, a move that had Hanbin whining again. Bobby wished he could record this. Not even for sexual gratification—but just so he could remember it if he ever forgot. Everything was new for Hanbin now, in a way that made it kind of new for Bobby, too.   
  
He pushed his finger against the little ring of muscle at Hanbin’s hole, surprised when Hanbin pushed back against him. Bobby grinned, amused that Hanbin was already getting a little aggressive. With his free hand he ran his fingers over Hanbin’s inner thigh as a distraction, a move that made Hanbin spread his legs a little wider, like he was trying to give Bobby greater access.   
  
He took it slow, took time before he started to work his finger in, always keeping a watchful eye on Hanbin’s body language. When he tensed up with the first breach Bobby palmed Hanbin’s balls, squeezing them as a distraction. It worked, and eventually Bobby managed to work the first finger in, and Hanbin relaxed.   
  
Hanbin was a little surprised at how  _ ready _ he felt. Ready to give everything over to Bobby, his brain dominated by the need to listen and learn and  _ enjoy. _ Even though he’d read a lot about what to expect, it still didn’t prepare him for he actual sting of the first finger. But Bobby knew what to do, handled the situation like a pro, and Hanbin could focus on other things instead, like Bobby’s hands, and how good it felt to have them running over every bit of his skin.   
  
It wasn’t until Bobby had a second finger in that the thought crossed Hanbin’s mind about trust. He trusted Bobby, in a way he’d never trusted anyone before. This whole thing was so intimate and he even felt a little vulnerable, but he was  _ happy _ to let Bobby do it all. It felt amazing to give himself over to Bobby, to know that Bobby would handle everything and do it all perfectly.   
  
It took Bobby ten minutes to slowly work Hanbin up to three fingers, but it wasn’t just about the girth anymore, because Hanbin was nearly a wreck underneath him, breathing hard and writing, squirming every time Bobby brushed a finger over his prostate. Bobby had started when he slipped the second finger in, he wanted to tease Hanbin with it, drive him absolutely crazy.   
  
Hanbin could barely think around it, except for the feeling like he needed something more, needed more than just Bobby’s fingers. It was wonderful, felt so much better than he’d expected, but it wasn’t enough right now. He wanted to tell him, wanted to ask, but he couldn’t really produce words at the moment. Instead he tried to tell Bobby with his actions, with the way he pushed back onto Bobby’s fingers.   
  
Bobby knew what he was trying to say, and he stretched his fingers out for a few quick pumps before he withdrew them and reached for the condom, tearing it out of the packet and sliding it over his dick.   
  
“You ready, babe?” Bobby asked him, elated when Hanbin nodded, no tremors of fear or nerves running along his body anymore. There was nothing but pure, raw desire now. Hanbin was ready. Bobby was ready too.   
  
Sinking into Hanbin was like a dream, and Bobby couldn’t stop himself from thinking of every stupid cliché anyone had ever said about it, about how it felt like Hanbin was  _ made for him, _ about how they fit together like two perfectly aligned puzzle pieces.   
  
He sunk in all the way and could barely keep himself held up on his arms, but he waited, wanted to make sure Hanbin didn’t tense up or get overwhelmed. But he didn’t. Instead Hanbin laid there underneath him, totally pliant, and his breathing slowed down to a more comfortable pace. Bobby finally sank down against him, until his chest was against Hanbin’s back and his arms tucked in around Hanbin’s arms, stretching his hands up to thread their fingers together.   
  
“You okay?” Bobby asked, and Hanbin nodded. Bobby could see the curve of his lips, could see the smile on Hanbin’s face, and it made him feel like a superhero. He stayed like that for a minute, just enjoyed the peaceful moment of their joining, savouring the fact that he was  _ in him, _ and that Hanbin liked it. But eventually the hunger took over and he wanted more than just this, more than some soft and peaceful moment.   
  
He pulled out slowly, inch by inch, but Hanbin just pushed himself back onto Bobby, like he didn’t want them to be separated. Bobby wasn’t planning on complete separation though, and he sat back up on his knees, his hands moving to hold Hanbin at the hips, pushing him down against the bed. Bobby started out with a slow pace, his slides in and out relaxed. He had to test Hanbin, had to make sure he was still doing good.   
  
Hanbin was doing  _ perfect, _ and after a few minutes of getting used to Bobby’s slow movements Hanbin started to move with him, pulling forward when Bobby pulled back, pushing back onto him when Bobby pushed into him. Bobby let Hanbin set that pace at first, let him get comfortable with it, until Hanbin was the one slamming his ass back into him.   
  
Eventually Hanbin managed to find his voice. “Do it harder, hyung,” he whined, and Bobby went a little bug eyed at the request, didn’t think he’d ever heard anything so hot in his life.   
  
He laid a hand on Hanbin’s back and pushed him down onto the mattress. He pulled out completely just so he could lean over and whisper into Hanbin’s ear.   
  
“You want me to fucker you harder?” Hanbin let out a shaky moan in response, but Bobby wanted words. “Answer me, babe.”   
  
“Yes, please.” Hanbin answered, immediate in his response.   
  
Bobby grinned and sat back up, got himself lined up again. “As requested! If you feel like screaming, babe, do it into the pillow.” Bobby couldn’t help but tease before slamming forward back into Hanbin, knocking a surprised yelp out of his mouth. “Pillow, Bin-ah,” Bobby punctuated the tease with a hard slap to Hanbin’s ass, which only made Hanbin push back onto him again.   
  
Hanbin couldn’t believe how amazing it felt, now that he’d kind of gotten used to it. It still stung a little but the sting was good, equally as good as Bobby’s hands were on him, strong and confident in every move.   
  
A few minutes into this harder pace Bobby suddenly grabbed Hanbin’s hair, fingers twisting into the strands and tugging Hanbin’s head back just a little. It wouldn’t be enough to hurt him at all, he just wanted his attention, was dying to see Hanbin’s face.   
  
“It’s too bad there’s no mirror,” Bobby said with a grin, “I wish I could watch your face.”   
  
Hanbin grinned back at him. The idea of being watched made him even more excited. “Next time, okay hyung?”   
  
Bobby was delighted to hear his eagerness, and he had a sudden idea. “Hey, babe? I wanna do something different, okay? Hyung wants to see your pretty face, so we’re gonna switch our position.”   
  
“Mm, whatever you want,” Hanbin replied, and he absolutely meant it.   
  
Bobby pulled out all the way and stood up, his feet on the floor, grinning when Hanbin all but collapsed onto the bed. He reached for him and pulled him around until he had Hanbin sitting up at the side of the bed, looking near delirious already. Bobby pulled him up to kiss him and Hanbin wound his arms around Bobby’s neck, kissed him like he couldn’t get enough of him. Bobby’s hands wandered over Hanbin’s body, over his shoulders and down his sides, gripped his ass and grabbed his dick, and every touch made Hanbin gasp, made him hiss against Bobby’s mouth, his knees shaking when Bobby slipped a finger into his ass and rubbed his prostate.   
  
“Hyung, please,” Hanbin begged, wasn’t even sure in the moment what he was even begging for.   
  
Bobby sat down on the bed, fluffed the pillow up behind him so he could lean back against it. “Come here, sit down on me,” Bobby instructed, and Hanbin did what he asked, crawled onto the bed and straddled Bobby’s lap. Bobby guided Hanbin down onto his dick, sucked in his breath when Hanbin slid down over him and squeezed around him. He wanted to close his eyes and get lost but he also wanted to watch Hanbin, needed to see him.   
  
Hanbin was surprised at how different it felt like this, and if he were a little more aware of himself he’d probably contemplate angles and think about it from a mathematical standpoint, because he liked to understand why certain things worked the way they did, and different sex positions wouldn’t be a far reach for him to want to study.   
  
But right now he couldn’t think about anything other than how amazing it felt to have Bobby buried so deeply in him. It felt even better this way, like the angle was perfect for Bobby’s dick to hit his prostate. He wasn’t sure how long he could possibly last like this.   
  
Bobby could hear it in Hanbin’s needy whines, could see it in the arch of his back and the way his whole body was trembling with the exertion. He wanted to watch him like this, wanted to see him utterly lose it.   
  
He took one of Hanbin’s hands and wrapped it around his dick. “Jerk yourself off babe,” Bobby asked, “I wanna watch you cum so hard you can’t sit up anymore.”   
  
Hanbin didn’t even think twice about it, he just tightened his grip around himself and started stroking, pausing only for Bobby to grab his hand back and squirt some lube onto it. Hanbin hadn’t even thought of it, too caught up in everything else. But his strokes got faster and he closed his eyes, could feel his whole body tensing up in preparation.   
  
Bobby wanted his eyes open, though.   
  
“Look at me babe,” Bobby commanded, and Hanbin opened his eyes right away, and maybe it was the look in Bobby’s eyes that pushed him over the edge, because not a second later Hanbin came hard, spilling over his fingers and onto Bobby’s chest. He didn’t know how he was still upright, because his limbs felt like Jello, quivering and boneless.   
  
Almost immediately after Bobby pulled out and pushed him back down against the mattress, and Hanbin could only watch with half-lidded eyes as Bobby grabbed his legs and pulled him in closer, and then suddenly Bobby was inside him again and if it hadn’t been for Bobby’s hand over his mouth, Hanbin might have yelled so loud the neighbours would have come to investigate.   
  
Bobby fucked him harder than he’d been willing to so far, hard and fast and almost brutal, chasing after his own release like a jackhammer. Hanbin didn’t even seem like he noticed, too strung out after his own finish, and it wasn’t long before Bobby came as well, buried deep in Hanbin. He collapsed forward over him and buried his face in Hanbin’s neck, gasping for breath.   
  
Hanbin was utterly spent beneath him, but he still instinctively tried to raise his arms around Bobby’s back, wanted to be wrapped as tightly around him as possible. Bobby could barely move his own body, and he kissed Hanbin where he was, lips against his neck.   
  
“I love you, Bin,” Bobby mumbled into Hanbin’s flushed skin, and after a moment he pulled his head up so he could say it again, looking Hanbin in the eyes.   
  
Hanbin was all smiles in response to it, and he tried to tell Bobby that he loved him too, but he couldn’t form the words right now, and it came out so mumbled that all either of them could discern was the  _ too _ at the end. Bobby laughed and that made Hanbin laugh in turn, and they laid there for a moment, giggling against each other.   
  
Ten minutes later and Hanbin still couldn’t believe they’d actually done it. It had been utterly amazing, all of it. He could barely feel anything now and he wasn’t sure if it was just the euphoria of it all, or if his body was finally getting numb from Bobby’s weight crushing him. He couldn’t help but giggle at the thought. It wasn’t even funny but he couldn’t help himself. Then Bobby moved finally, but the stickiness of Hanbin’s own cum sandwiched in between their chests just made him laugh even more.   
  
“Yeah, we should go clean up,” Bobby replied, grinning as he watched Hanbin’s giggling face mumble an agreement. Bobby stood up and left him there, content to let him rest for another moment while he got the shower warmed up. When he came back to the bedroom Hanbin still hadn’t moved.   
  
“I see how it is,” Bobby said, walking over to the side of the bed and leaning down to scoop Hanbin up into his arms, just because he  _ could, _ “you gonna make me do everything for the rest of the night, aren’t you?”   
  
Hanbin just grinned at him and wrapped his arms around Bobby’s neck. “Mmhmm; you’re so strong.”   
  
Bobby wasn’t sure why he almost felt like blushing at the comment. It was ridiculous. “Uh, yeah, your boyfriend’s super strong. Gotta have big muscles so I can carry you around everywhere.”   
  
Hanbin buried his face in Bobby’s neck and kissed him. “It’s hot. You’re hot.”   
  
If Bobby wasn’t so in love, he thought he might just take Hanbin back to the bed and fuck him again because the comment turned him on. But instead he felt a greater urge to to be tender instead of aggressive. Hanbin hissed when Bobby set his feet under the spray of the water, and it made Bobby laugh.   
  
“You okay, babe?”   
  
Hanbin whined and leaned against the wall of the show. “Yeah, I just feel like my legs aren’t working.”   
  
Bobby pulled Hanbin against him, and Hanbin wound his arms around him and kissed him, soft and sweet and full of tender affection. Bobby thought it might be their best kiss ever.   
  
They took their time in the shower, and Bobby finished before Hanbin, leaving him on his own now that Hanbin could stand without fear of falling over. Bobby jumped out first and grabbed a towel to dry himself off with. He grabbed another towel for Hanbin, who stepped out and stood still to allow Bobby to dry him off. With the towel still wrapped around him Hanbin slowly walked back to his room, changing into a pair of soft pyjama pants and a t-shirt that looked big enough to belong to Bobby.   
  
Bobby was in the living room getting changed when Hanbin shuffled in from his bedroom, still clutching the towel in his hand. Bobby grinned and grabbed it from him, using it to dry his hair a little better.   
  
“Wanna finish watching that movie?” Bobby asked, and Hanbin nodded. He honestly didn’t care what they did right now, as long as he could do it nestled in Bobby’s arms.   
  


* * *

  
Junhoe had a mouth full of pillow, damp with his own spit. He’d thought that fucking Jinhwan had been amazing (and it had been) but now Jinhwan had who knew how many fingers in him, and there was this one spot in particular (he couldn’t remember what it was called and frankly he didn’t care) that Jinhwan kept brushing over and it was doing the craziest things to him. They’d put music on but it hadn’t been loud enough to muffle Junhoe’s moans, so Jinhwan had shoved a pillow in his face.   
  
It seemed to be doing the job, cancelling out the loudest of the noise. Jinhwan smirked as he watched him, feeling somewhat proud of himself for getting Junhoe to this point. Letting Junhoe fuck him first had definitely been the best decision, given how docile he’d been at the beginning. It was the kind of calmness that came from spending yourself inside someone else.   
  
Jinhwan flicked him a few more times before pulling his fingers out, not saying a word before replacing them with his dick. He slid in and Junhoe didn’t seem bothered in the slightest, didn’t tense up, didn’t seem nervous. Jinhwan sunk in all the way, closing his eyes and just enjoying it. He’d missed this, both sides of it, and now that he was finally here again he wanted to enjoy it fully, without distraction.   
  
He opened his eyes again to look down at Junhoe laid out beneath him. He ran his hands over Junhoe’s back, grinning when it made Junhoe shiver. He was very ticklish, so Jinhwan teased him at the sides again until Junhoe made some grunting noise of admonishment, like he couldn’t believe he had to tell Jinhwan off for tickling him during sex.   
  
He quit the teasing then and instead opted for grabbing Junhoe’s ass tightly and pounding into him a few times, hard and rough, before slowing his pace back down. Junhoe actually raised his head from the pillow and made a noise at that (some unintelligible mutter, maybe even a curse, Jinhwan couldn’t tell) and Jinhwan wanted to resume the faster pace, wanted to do it hard again, but he had to hold back a bit.   
  
Junhoe wasn’t even really aware of what was going on anymore, he was too focused on how everything felt, on the weird collision of pleasure and pain. The difference between the fingers and Jinhwan’s dick actually had been noticeable, but he’d already been right at the end of his rope, so he couldn’t produce any words that made sense, and he felt an odd sort of detachment from his body, like he could  _ feel _ everything that was happening but he couldn’t rightly control himself at that moment. He could barely make sense of his thoughts, of all the different feelings running through his head.   
  
All he knew was that he really liked it.   
  
Jinhwan ran fingers down his sides and Junhoe loved it, shivered at the light touch. It almost felt like it was too much, and if he could have been able to talk, he’d have told Jinhwan to cut it out, to tone it a down a bit. But he couldn’t make anything work, couldn’t make his voice produce words that his brain understood.   
  
But Junhoe’s unintelligible whine almost bowled Jinhwan over completely, he thought it sounded so hot. He reached around to Junhoe’s front, fingers closing tightly over Junhoe’s dick, and he rubbed his thumb over the head. Junhoe was already hard again, and when Jinhwan touched him it was like he’d pressed Junhoe’s ‘on button’ and suddenly he felt like he was in control of his functions again, so he bucked back into him, raising off the bed to give Jinhwan’s hand some space.   
  
Jinhwan had told Junhoe to lie face down for two reason: the first being that it would just be easier for him, it would hurt less and require less movement on Junhoe’s part. But the second reason was so Jinhwan wouldn’t be tempted to kiss him. Kissing during sex was different, it made the whole act a little softer, made you feel closer to the other person. Jinhwan already felt like he was probably getting too close to Junhoe. He wanted to limit his potential for screwing things up.   
  
He was glad for it now because given Junhoe’s noises, Jinhwan really wanted to see his face, wanted to see his expression. Wanted to see his eyes. He wanted to kiss him, wanted to devour him, but it would lead to problems. So he was happy that Junhoe’s face lay just out of reach.   
  
Jinhwan covered his wayward feelings by slamming hard into Junhoe, driven by Junhoe’s own participation, the way he pushed himself back onto Jinhwan. Junhoe had his head raised up from the pillow, and when Jinhwan heard his own name drop from Junhoe’s lips, in a needy and desperate way, it was enough to do him in entirely, and he came hard in Junhoe, fingers gripping tightly to his hips.   
  
Even as Jinhwan came in him, he was still mindful of Junhoe, still squeezed him until he came as well, shooting out over Jinhwan’s hand. Junhoe collapsed immediately against the mattress while Jinhwan remained on shaky limbs for a moment, his arms threatening to give way at any second and send him crashing down over Junhoe’s back. He rolled to the side instead, exhausted and spent.   
  
It was amazing what sex could do for you sometimes. Suddenly he remember all of the stressful things he’d gone through lately, and they all felt like nothing to him now. Worries about his future?  _ No big deal. _ Dealing with his confused feelings about Eric?  _ That had been nothing. _ Talking to his mom about moving to California?  _ Let him call her right now and get her approval! _ Falling in love with Junhoe?  _ Not a problem. _   
  
He’d needed it, the release. Needed it for months. Everything felt simpler now, it all felt elementary. Right now the biggest problem was the sticky mess in his right hand and his utter displeasure at the idea of having to get up and wash it off.   
  
Junhoe, on the other hand, could barely even string two thoughts together. For some reason his brain seemed to be stuck on the idea that he needed to call Hanbin right now, just to tell him how amazing sex was. He could picture Hanbin’s eyes bugging out when he heard the news, and he wondered if he’d be mad that Junhoe had beaten him to it? Thinking about it made him laugh, though at first his laughter was strictly internal because he just didn’t have the energy to laugh out loud. If he could move he’d grab his phone, but he felt like he was broken right now, which just made the whole thing even funnier to him.   
  
He felt a weight on his back then, and it took him a moment to realize that it was Jinhwan, and for some reason that just made him want to laugh again. Was it normal to laugh this much after sex? Was something wrong with him? Well, not  _ wrong _ because all the laughing made him feel even better, and there was nothing wrong with feeling better, was there?   
  
“Are you okay?” Jinhwan asked, laying across Junhoe’s back and grinning at all the giggling coming out of him. It was cute though, and he understood it all too well. He’d been a giggling mess as well after his first time. That just meant it had been really good.   
  
“Mmhmm,” Junhoe hummed in acknowledgement, trying to nod his head but failing. Everything was hilarious to him right now.   
  
“Did you like it?” Jinhwan asked, his voice as soft as his heart felt at the moment. It was the laughing, and the good memories that came with them.   
  
“Mmhmm,” Junhoe replied, and Jinhwan almost felt tempted to start laughing too, it was contagious right now. He wrapped an arm around Junhoe’s chest, his head resting against Junhoe’s shoulder blade. It was a dangerously affectionate moment, because he was seconds away from kissing him. He forced himself to hold back, forced himself to think about Junhoe. Jinhwan would understand that a kiss right now was only for the moment, but Junhoe wouldn’t. He’d get swept up if Jinhwan let him. He couldn’t let him.   
  
So he forced himself to sit up. “Let’s go shower, we’re too sticky.”   
  
Junhoe shook his head, craning his head back over his shoulder to frown at Jinhwan. “No, stay.”   
  
Jinhwan grinned at him. Staying here right now was a terrible idea, mostly because he actually  _ wanted to. _ Granted the shower could be equally dangerous, but he was hoping that the spray of semi-cold water might help to jolt them both out of this warm and affectionate moment.   
  
“Nope, come on, you’ll regret it if you don’t shower right now, trust me. You’ll thank me later.”   
  
Junhoe frowned but allowed Jinhwan to pull him up and drag him into the bathroom. Junhoe’s eyes could barely stay open, though, all he wanted to do was sink back down into bed (with Jinhwan next to him) and allow himself to succumb to the warm embrace of sleep. It was torture to move, especially because his limbs were all shaky, and he wondered if he’d even make it into the shower.   
  
He just couldn’t stop thinking about how  _ good _ it had all been. So much better than he’d expected, better than he’d thought it could be. Would it always be that good? Had it only been that good because it had been with Jinhwan? Of course Jinhwan knew what he was doing, but Junhoe had all of these damn  _ feelings _ for him, complicated feelings, sure, but they were strong. He just wanted to express them. He was terrible at expressing himself, though.   
  
He knew he wasn’t supposed to be getting caught up like this, it hadn’t been what they’d agreed to do. But he couldn’t help it—Jinhwan was honestly kind of perfect. Perfect for Junhoe, at least. Junhoe leaned against the wall, waited while Jinhwan fiddled with the water. He just wanted to push Jinhwan up against the wall and kiss him. Was that so much to ask for?   
  
Jinhwan pulled him into the shower seconds later, and Junhoe was about to follow through with that kiss, but the second the water hit his skin he recoiled.   
  
“Hyung! It’s fucking cold!” It was so cold it felt like a kick in the face, and he shrunk back away from the spray, angry eyes on Jinhwan.   
  
Jinhwan grinned back at him. It wasn’t  _ cold _ , but it wasn’t hot. Maybe he should have given Junhoe a moment until it heated up a bit more, but Jinhwan also thought that Junhoe needed the cold shower too. He’d seen the look in Junhoe’s eyes, knew what it meant. Jinhwan had to play it careful right now, he couldn’t let Junhoe rope him into being too affectionate.   
  
He pushed Junhoe against the wall and grabbed a sponge, squeezed some body wash onto it. He grinned at Junhoe (who’d stopped glaring, but was now wearing an expression of slight confusion) and went to work washing his chest and stomach off. Jinhwan just needed to stay occupied, needed to do something for Junhoe so it wasn’t so obvious that he was trying to keep some emotional distance between them right now.   
  
Junhoe settled back against the wall as Jinhwan started washing him. It was kind of nice, actually, what Jinhwan was doing right now. He closed his eyes and let Jinhwan continue, content now that the water had warmed up a bit more. He didn’t open his eyes until Jinhwan’s hand moved around to his ass, the soapy sponge washing the lubricant off of him.   
  
Junhoe really wanted to kiss him. He probably shouldn’t. If Jinhwan wanted to kiss him, he would have done it by now, wouldn’t he? Unless Jinhwan wanted to, but didn’t know if Junhoe wanted to? Maybe he was holding himself back because he thought that Junhoe didn’t want anything more?   
  
Ah, he shouldn’t get so caught up in his own confused emotions. They’d just fucked, after all, maybe it wasn’t the best time for admissions. Maybe Jinhwan was waiting until they were back in bed, lying down. Maybe Junhoe would wait until then and see.   
  
Jinhwan finished washing Junhoe off and stepped back into the spray of the water for a moment before looking at him. Junhoe had that look in his eyes again, like he was waiting for something. Jinhwan winked at him and reached out to pat his cheek. He couldn’t do  _ nothing _ and ignore him, that would feel weird, and it would make things awkward. He just had to figure out what he could do that wouldn’t feel too affectionate.   
  
“You’re done, so go dry off cause it’s kinda cramped in here,” Jinhwan told him, reaching out to playfully pinch his nipple, “I’ll be done in a minute.” He turned his back to him then, letting the water cascade down over his face. He remembered exactly how he’d felt after he’d had sex with Eric the first time. Remembered how difficult it had been for him to not blurt out  _ I love you! _ He hoped Junhoe wasn’t at that level, hoped he wasn’t that caught up.   
  
Maybe he should bring it up. Maybe he should confirm that they were still casual, that they weren’t dating. Because he had to focus on himself and his future, couldn’t let himself get swayed from his path just because he liked someone. If he dated Junhoe it would make it that much harder on him to leave. And what if he had trouble convincing his mother? Maybe he’d give up more easily, knowing that at least he’d be able to stay with Junhoe.   
  
He closed his eyes and stared up into the water. Maybe Junhoe would surprise him. Junhoe wasn’t crippled by the same emotional hangups that Jinhwan had had, after all. Junhoe had plenty of love and support in his life, he didn’t  _ need _ Jinhwan the way that Jinhwan had needed someone at that point in his life. Maybe he was just projecting too much of himself and his past on Junhoe.   
  
Junhoe stood in the foggy bathroom, towelling himself off. With Jinhwan still in the shower he wiped a spot clear in the mirror and stared at himself. Now that the moment had passed somewhat, he was getting a handle on himself. No matter how much he liked Jinhwan, this whole thing had only been casual, just for fun and some experience. If Jinhwan wanted to change his mind, then Junhoe would just have to wait for him to make that decision himself. He couldn’t ask for it, he had too much pride (and he was too afraid of Jinhwan turning him down).   
  
He wasn’t some whiny, lovesick kid, falling for the first guy to really give him a taste of everything life had to offer. He wasn’t going to do that to himself. He could keep doing this thing with Jinhwan and he wouldn’t let it turn into more than what it was.   
  
Jinhwan  _ liked him, _ after all. It might not be love, but there were enough moments of honest affection that it kind of made it more than just friends with benefits. But it didn’t have to be anything more than that. Besides, Jinhwan was coming up on graduation, and the last thing Junhoe wanted to do was give him some weird complication he didn’t need.   
  
Especially tonight. Jinhwan had his entrance test tomorrow. If Junhoe brought up their status, it might make things awkward for Jinhwan, and maybe he’d flub his test tomorrow. Junhoe would never let himself be responsible for that.   
  
No. He’d just keep his feelings to himself, and if Jinhwan himself came to Junhoe and asked for something more, than Junhoe could agree to it. If he didn’t, though, then they’d just keeping going with the way things were right now, and Junhoe would just enjoy it for what it was. It didn’t have to be serious. Just because he liked Jinhwan, that didn’t mean they’d stay together even if they did date. Maybe he’d find someone he liked even more than Jinhwan one day.   
  
He was young. They were both young. Too young to be falling helplessly in love.


	41. Sharing Is Caring

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just some best bros talking about their sexual exploits.

Tuesday night found Junhoe perched on a plastic chair, eyes on a group of little kids who were dressed up in various costumes and learning some song in English about witches. Hanbyul was one of the kids. Junhoe was here because Hanbin had suckered him into coming along, bribing him with the promise of barbeque after. Hanbin’s parents had enrolled Hanbyul in classes at a private English school and they were throwing a special Halloween party for the kids; since most of the teachers were North American, they were introducing the students to trick-or-treating, getting them dressed up and taking them around to different classrooms to collect candy.  
  
Junhoe thought it was cute, but he’d never tell Hanbin that. Instead he’d complained almost the whole time, playing the “best friend victim” card. Besides, he and Hanbin hadn’t had a chance to talk about the weekend yet, and Junhoe was dying to tell him about his exploits with Jinhwan. After the shower they’d had some late dinner and then watched a movie before falling asleep together in Junhoe’s bed. It had been nice waking up with Jinhwan plastered to his back. Nice, but ultimately frustrating.   
  
But then Jinhwan had woken up and they’d fucked again, and that had made up for any confusion Junhoe was feeling.   
  
His eyes wandered back to the kids, watching as Hanbin made the final adjustments to Hanbyul’s outfit. She was dressed in all yellow with a purple wig, a _sun princess,_ apparently (Junhoe wasn’t about to argue the purple hair not fitting the theme) and once Hanbin finished with her he came back to sit down next to Junhoe. The kids were starting their parade from room to room, which would end in the large main hall area where they were going to sing their Halloween songs together.   
  
Hanbin had told him they could just hang out in the empty classroom and wait, and Junhoe was patiently counting down the seconds until the kids were gone.   
  
“So, you said you had some news,” Hanbin began, “it better be worth my time.”   
  
Junhoe frowned at him and would have hit him, had it not been for the kids. “My news is always worth your time, loser. You should be grateful, because I actually haven’t told anyone else about this yet.”   
  
“If by grateful you mean, _so excited I’m going to go run into traffic,_ then you’re correct.” Hanbin replied, smiling excitedly at Hanbyul and her classmates who were waving goodbye. “Ah, they’re so cute.”   
  
“Let’s hope she stays cute, though I don’t have my hopes too high since she looks like you.” Junhoe replied, getting the jab in while Hanbin couldn’t hit him.   
  
“Speak for yourself, okay? Bobby tells me I’m cute every day.”   
  
“Yeah well love is blind, right?” Junhoe grinned at Hanbin’s look of aggravation.   
  
“In your case love must be deaf, too, since your mom still loves you.”   
  
Junhoe frowned at the retort. “My mom says I have the voice of an angel, okay?”   
  
“I think she’s talking about the devil,” Hanbin teased back, “wasn’t he a fallen angel?”   
  
“Speaking of the devil, I had sex with Jinhwan hyung on the weekend.” Junhoe hadn’t meant to just blurt it out so quickly, but he couldn’t resist the jab, even though Jinhwan wasn’t even here. The shocked look on Hanbin’s face was worth it, though.   
  
“You did? How was it?”   
  
Junhoe shrugged, not about to give Hanbin too much information. “Eh, it was cool.” He knew it would drive him crazy.   
  
“Just cool? Couldn’t have been that good, then. Which I’m sure was entirely your fault.” Hanbin teased back, but in reality he was shocked. Amused, too, that they’d both had sex at the same time without knowing about it.   
  
“It was excellent, I’ll have you know,” Junhoe replied, a touch of defensiveness in his tone. God, he just couldn’t help himself when Hanbin played him like that, could he?   
  
Hanbin smiled and nodded. “I’m sure it was, _for you.”_ He pulled his phone out and started typing a message.   
  
Junhow narrowed his eyes and tried to see who he was messaging. “What are you doing? We’re having a conversation, Hanbin, put your phone away it’s rude.”   
  
Hanbin grinned and finished writing the message before looking up at Junhoe. “I’m sending hyung my deepest condolences.”   
  
“You didn’t send anything did you? Hanbin you can’t!” Junhoe made a grab for his phone.   
  
“What? Why not? It wasn’t really terrible, was it?” Hanbin hadn’t sent the message yet, and he held his phone out of Junhoe’s reach.   
  
“He doesn’t know that you know!” Junhoe replied, serious eyes meeting Hanbin’s amused ones. “We weren’t going to tell anyone, and I haven’t told him that I told you.” Junhoe had meant to mention it on the weekend, on Sunday, but that second round had wiped his mind of his plans.   
  
“Oh come on, I’m sure he realizes that I know,” Hanbin replied, “does he think you’d really keep your sex news to yourself?” Hanbin thought it was cute, the way that Junhoe was worried about Jinhwan finding out that he knew. Hanbin was sure he wouldn’t care. Junhoe was just being overly dramatic.   
  
“Hanbin, I wanted to tell him myself, so don’t ruin this for me.”   
  
Hanbin just grinned at him. “Nothing is going to get ruined, calm down.” He hit the send button on his app, and his message sent. - _beloved hyung, my deepest condolences for having sex with junhoe. if you need someone to talk to, know that i’m here for you in your time of need!-_   
  
Junhoe’s face went blank. Hanbin had actually sent it. What would Jinhwan think? Would he be pissed? He was tempted to take out his own phone and type a hurried apology, sure that Jinhwan would be annoyed with him for letting their secret slip.   
  
But seconds later a beaming Hanbin was shoving his phone in Junhoe’s face. “See, calm yourself, he doesn’t care.”   
  
_-so thoughtful!! your a good kid kim hanbin! but im good it was actually awesome, i know shocking right?? tell him that hyung says he was really impressive kk ;)-_   
  
Junhoe read the message over, feeling a little better about it. Even a little proud at Jinhwan’s words. _Really impressive._ Then again Jinhwan wouldn’t act upset in response to Hanbin, would he? Maybe he should still apologize to him. His thoughts were interrupted by another message from Jinhwan.   
  
_-fyi bobs bein grossss about u right now, i never heard him all lovey dovey before what did u do to him, was the sex that good for u too??? ;)-_   
  
“Hold on, what the fuck did you and Bobby do this weekend?” Junhoe turned his shocked expression on Hanbin, who grinned and glanced at the phone, writing a hasty reply to Jinhwan before turning his attention back to Junhoe.   
  
“Uh yeah, we also had sex this weekend. I was going to tell you, when I stopped teasing you about Jinhwan.”   
  
Junhoe wasn’t sure what to think. On one hand, it was kind of cool, they both had their first times at the same time. Not that he cared about that, it was a little too sentimental. But it was weird, how their times had lined up.   
  
“Was it magical?” Junhoe mockingly asked, and one look at Hanbin’s dreamy expression told him everything he needed to know.   
  
“Totally,” Hanbin replied, leaning against him, “he is _amazing_ in bed, I don’t even know how many times I came.”   
  
“Ugh, gross, Hanbin!” Junhoe shoved him away.   
  
“Stop being a baby, let’s talk about this. We’re both no longer virgins, we should celebrate.” Now he was just doing it intentionally to annoy Junhoe.   
  
“Yeah let’s celebrate by never talking about it again, cool?”   
  
“I didn’t think falling asleep with someone could be that nice either,” Hanbin replied, moving right back next to Junhoe and clinging to his arm.   
  
Junhoe rolled his eyes, even though he agreed fully with Hanbin. “Yeah, I guess that was cool too.”   
  
“Wait he slept over too?” Hanbin asked, grinning at the way Junhoe’s cheeks flushed red already. “Wow, we really did have the exact same weekend, didn’t we? Did he make you breakfast in the morning?”   
  
Jinhwan frowned. “No. Why did Bobby make you breakfast?”   
  
Hanbin smirked. “Sure did! We ate in bed too, it was super romantic.”   
  
“Ugh, disgusting.” Junhoe frowned. “Jinhwan and I just fucked again when we woke up.”   
  
Hanbin bit the inside of his cheek to keep from laughing. “Yeah, well we did that too after eating, so I still win.”   
  
Junhoe narrowed his eyes, not wanting to admit defeat. “Did you actually fuck him, though, or did he just fuck you?”   
  
Hanbin sat back and looked at Junhoe. “He fucked me both times.”   
  
Junhoe grinned in victory. “Jinan fucked me once, but I actually fucked him. Twice.” Sunday morning had just been Junhoe fucking Jinhwan (because Junhoe had said he was a little sore) but Jinhwan had been on top of him, so he’d kind of still commanded the whole thing. Hanbin didn’t have to know that, though.   
  
“Liar,” Hanbin whispered, shocked at the admission.   
  
“Ask him.” Junhoe smugly replied. “So I win.”   
  
Hanbin shook his head. “Ah well it makes sense. Our relationships are different. Yours is just for experience, so really Jinan hyung wouldn’t be doing a good job if he didn’t let you fuck him. Whereas I have the rest of my life to fuck Bobby, so we can take things a little bit slower.”   
  
Junhoe felt an uncomfortable lurch in his stomach at Hanbin’s quip. Of course Hanbin didn’t mean anything hurtful by it, because he couldn’t possibly know how Junhoe felt about Jinhwan. But it was true, wasn’t it?   
  
Had it meant more for Hanbin and Bobby? Not that he wanted to think about Hanbin having sex, but Bobby had probably kissed him during it, hadn’t he? Probably hadn’t stopped kissing him, because they were kind of gross. Hanbin had gotten the full experience, while Junhoe had just gotten half the experience.   
  
Whatever. It was fine. It didn’t diminish it, it had still been mind blowing and amazing. So what if it hadn’t been as intimate as Hanbin’s experience? So what if Jinhwan hadn’t kissed him once all weekend? He didn’t need that side of it. What they had was _casual,_ and there was nothing wrong with that.   
  
Still, though. At least one kiss would have been nice.   


* * *

  
\- _beloved hyung, my deepest condolences for having sex with junhoe. if you need someone to talk to, know that i’m here for you in your time of need!-_   
  
Jinhwan practically spat his drink out when he read Hanbin’s message. “Okay, hold up a second, oh my god, Bobby why is your boyfriend the cutest brat in the entire world?”   
  
“Huh?” Bobby’s head shot up, looking at Jinhwan’s phone. He laughed as soon as he read the message. “Ah, that’s my boy.”   
  
Jinhwan typed a response back, not even giving it a second thought that Junhoe had told Hanbin. He’d expected him to.   
  
“So I guess they must be talking right now too, huh?” Bobby said, and it made him happy to know that. He’d told Jinhwan about his plans as soon as he’d made them, of course, but they hadn’t had time to really sit down and discuss how the weekend had gone until now. Jinhwan had been surprised with a visit from his mother and sister on Sunday night to celebrate his test for the SNU music department. Last night Jiun and Jeeyoung had been over for the entire night, so they hadn’t had a chance to be alone.   
  
But tonight they had the apartment to themselves, and they were telling each other about their exploits in explicit detail.   
  
“I still can’t believe you and I are fucking best friends,” Jinhwan said with a laugh, “it’s kind of weird when you think about it.”   
  
“Yeah, so don’t screw it up, okay? Be good to Junhoe.” Bobby teased him.   
  
“I was good to him! I let him fuck me twice, you know. He said he was too sore for round two on Sunday morning, but I think he was lying to see if I’d let him have another go.”   
  
Bobby grinned. “How was he, anyway? Satisfying after your long drought?”   
  
Jinhwan grinned back. “Surprisingly good. I mean the first time was a typical first time, barely lasted, but Sunday morning was a better indicator. Granted I did make him lie back so I could ride him, so I made sure it was really good for me, at least.”   
  
Bobby shook his head, feeling weird at hearing Jinhwan describe it. It’s not that it was uncomfortable to think about Jinhwan having sex, because they’d told each other details about their sex lives before. It was just weird because this was the first time that Bobby knew the person Jinhwan was talking about, had regular interactions with him, even.   
  
“Gotta look out for yourself, very important when dealing with the virgins.” Bobby teasingly replied.   
  
“Mm, I remember a time when that was all you cared about. Bragging about taking care of yourself and making your partners finish themselves off afterwards. You used to be so selfish.” Jinhwan teasingly said, amused eyes on Bobby.   
  
Bobby frowned but tried not to let it show how much it actually affected him. “Ah, don’t talk about that, okay? I was an asshole.”   
  
“Were you, though? I’d say your partners were the assholes, and you were the dick.” Jinhwan laughed at the joke, especially because Bobby looked almost offended by it.   
  
“Come on, Jinan, that’s not funny, okay? I actually feel bad about it.” Bobby frowned and punched Jinhwan in the arm.   
  
Jinhwan wasn’t deterred, though. “Oh stop crying, okay. You were a selfish teenager, no surprise there. We’ve all been shitty people before, don’t hold onto it.”   
  
“I’m not holding onto it,” Bobby replied, “it’s just that, I don’t know, being with Hanbin is making me realize just how much of an asshole I was. So I’m happy that I’m getting the chance to do it over, right? I’m doing everything the way it’s supposed to be done with him. And everything just feels better because of it. Like I’ve had some good sex before, but it was nothing compared to Hanbin. I love him so much, Jinan, I’m glad we waited so long.”   
  
Jinhwan knew Bobby was being honest, and he’d probably be touched later that Bobby was saying it all out loud to him. But right now he couldn’t help but tease him for it.   
  
“Good lord, Jiwon, that might be the most disgusting thing you’ve ever said to me, please stop.”   
  
“Oh fuck off, Jinan!” Bobby smacked him, sitting up on his bed and moving away. He watched as Jinhwan laughed and took his phone back out, and Bobby could see from here that he was texting Hanbin.   
  
_-fyi bob’s bein grossss about u right now, i never heard him all lovey dovey before what did u do to him, was the sex that good for u too??? ;)-_   
  
He kicked Jinhwan’s shoulder. “Would you quit it? I’m trying to open up to you, and you keep teasing me!”   
  
Jinhwan tossed his phone down and got up, lunging at Bobby. “I’m not used to you being all emotional, okay? I don’t know how to deal with you like this.”   
  
“Can’t you just be happy?” Bobby replied, sounding annoyed but not really. Jinhwan had a point, after all. Bobby had never hidden things from him, but he’d never been so open about his feelings before either.   
  
“I am happy, honestly,” Jinhwan wrestled him around, ending up mostly on top of Bobby, arms tight around him, “you know how much I like Hanbin. Hell I adore him, I’m not just happy for you but I’m happy for myself too, to have him as a friend. Hanbin’s actually _perfect_ for you, in a way that people rarely find that one person they’re meant to be with. You and Hanbin are definitely meant to be, no question. I mean, you really opened yourself up to him, I’m still proud of you for that.”   
  
Bobby was happy to hear it all, and he cuddled Jinhwan back as tightly. “Thanks, Jinan.”   
  
“And your perfect boyfriend has a super hot piece of ass that I get to fuck now, so it’s a win-win for everyone, right?” No need to mention his confusing, developing feelings. Bobby didn’t need to know.   
  
Bobby groaned into Jinhwan’s hair. “You ever plan on doing anything more than just fucking him?”   
  
“What else is there to do?” Jinhwan teased back.   
  
“I don’t know, call me crazy, but I think you like him more than you’re letting on. I’m not going to pull a Hanbin and harass you about it, but I’m just curious about why you’re not actually dating him.”   
  
“Have you met him?” Jinhwan teased back. “He’s got some maturing to do, emotionally.” It was easier to deflect with teasing than it was to be honest.   
  
“Don’t we all?” Bobby replied. “Date him and make him mature.”   
  
“I thought you said you weren’t going to harass me?” Jinhwan replied, snuggling his head into Bobby’s chest.   
  
“Fine, suit yourself. I’ve said my piece.”   
  
Jinhwan thought he wanted to say more, so instead he decided to distract Bobby with the one topic that would be sure to take centre stage. “I decided to go home for Christmas this year, I cleared it with mom on Sunday.”   
  
“Oh yeah?” Bobby perked up at that. On one hand he was sad about not having Jinhwan here for the holiday, but on the other hand, if Jinhwan himself had made the decision, Bobby knew that could only mean one thing.   
  
“Yeah, I’m going to talk to her about jiu jitsu. I feel like I finally know how to approach her about it and not just have her shut me out.” Of course he was just going to omit the part about California, because Bobby didn’t need to know about that until Jinhwan had the green light.   
  
“Are you really?” Bobby pulled back a bit, grabbing Jinhwan’s face so he could look him in the eyes. “You’re really going to try again?”   
  
Jinhwan nodded, and he could feel tears prickling at his eyes already. He cried too easily during conversations, sometimes. “Yeah, I think it’ll help having Seiyeon there too, especially now that she’s seen me fighting. I just need to be an adult about it, and not a bratty kid. I’m confident she’ll actually talk to me about it this time, and not just brush it aside.”   
  
“Jinan,” Bobby couldn’t keep the smile off his face, “I’m so happy for you that you feel confident enough to try again. Seriously, I feel good about this, I feel like this time your mom is going to be on your side, you know? Just this gut feeling. Everything you say to her is going to go over well, and you’ll have her support.” Bobby pulled him into his chest for a hug, burying his face in Jinhwan’s hair.   
  
Family was so important to Bobby, and he’d always felt the strain between Jinhwan and his mother. Just the idea of them patching things up was enough to make Bobby emotional, and just as Jinhwan had anticipated, all other thoughts swept out of Bobby’s head at the news.   
  
Jinhwan clung to Bobby, biting his lip to keep the tears in. He wanted to lie and say they were coming out because of his mom, but at the moment he knew these tears were for Bobby, for the idea of having to leave him to be an entire ocean away. Was he really going to be able to do it? To leave everyone? His mom, his sister, Bobby, his entire adopted family, Hanbin, his other friends at school… Junhoe. Even Eric.   
  
He was going to be alone, and his heart broke thinking about it.   
  
Bobby heard the first sob break from Jinhwan’s throat and he just hugged him tighter, misinterpreting the tears for the convenient excuse Jinhwan wanted to use.   
  
“Hey, it’s okay, Jinan. I know you’ve wanted this for so long, I’m proud of you for trying again. Your mom will see your side this time, you and Seiyeon are going to win her over on the jiu jitsu thing. And then the next time you fight your mom’s gonna be there, and she’s gonna watch you kick some guys’ asses, and she’s gonna be so proud of you, right? She’ll probably cry and be a mess, you know how moms are.” Jinhwan didn’t reply, just kept his head buried in Bobby’s chest, and Bobby kept his arms tightly held around him, kissed his forehead a few times and played with his hair, told him everything was going to be okay, that next year would the best year ever.   
  
Jinhwan took it, took it all in, even as the guilt ate at him for keeping his biggest secret from Bobby. It just wasn’t worth it, the potential of telling him before his mom said yes. He couldn’t put that on Bobby, not at the end of their last year in high school. They both had enough going on as it was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's a storm brewing. It's not quite here yet, but it's on the way. ;)


	42. The Calm Before

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A jumble of different scenes: chats about sex, morning wake up calls, a church scene, and a birthday dinner.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have to apologize if this chapter seems a bit over the place. There were a few things I had to get in before Jinan goes home for the holidays, so they're all packed in here.
> 
> I had originally intended to write more of the birthday, but I've been really sick all week and I still feel like I'm dying, so for my sanity I'm cutting it short. Sorry.

“This is officially the most unfair thing ever.” Donghyuk flopped back on his bed, arms crossed over his chest.   
  
“Yeah, well, we’re sorry, couldn’t really put it off though.” Hanbin patted his leg.   
  
Junhoe shook his head. “Speak for yourself, I’m not sorry at all. See Dong, this just means that you need to stop waiting around for signs. Just go up to Yunhyeong hyung and ask him straight out.”   
  
“Gay out, you mean.”   
  
Junhoe glared at Hanbin. “That has to be the worst joke you’ve ever told.”   
  
Hanbin grinned back at him. “I know, normally you’d be the one making it, so I decided to sacrifice my integrity so it wouldn’t go wasted.”   
  
“Can both of you shut up?” Donghyuk whined. “I can’t believe I went from being the most experienced to the least experienced in one weekend.”   
  
“Like I said, Yunhyeong hyung—”   
  
“Oh I know, okay? I can’t just go up and ask him, though. Not with his group of friends.”   
  
“Of course you can. You don’t have to be explicit or anything, just tell him that you like him, and ask him if he likes you too.”   
  
“Because it’s a guarantee that he likes you.”   
  
“It’s not that easy,” Donghyuk replied, turning on to his side, “besides, what if he does like me, but he’s not willing to come out with his friends? I don’t want to be someone’s secret.”   
  
Junhoe kind of understood that sentiment, but he thought it was better to be a secret than nothing at all. “Well, you won’t know unless you ask, right? What do you have to lose? He’s not the type of person that’ll spread rumours about you if you ask him, you don’t have to worry about that.”   
  
“I know,” Donghyuk shoved his face into his blanket.   
  
“Do you want me to ask him for you?” Junhoe offered.   
  
“No!” Donghyuk looked up at Junhoe, shaking his head. “Don’t you dare ask him.”   
  
Junhoe frowned at Donghyuk’s immediate refusal. “I’m trying to help you, why do you sound so afraid of accepting it?”   
  
Hanbin laughed at the question. “Can you blame him? You aren’t exactly the best at talking.”   
  
“Shut up, Hanbin.” Junhoe glared at his best friend, feeling doubly offended.   
  
“It’s true. At most maybe you could set something up for them. Are you seeing him again for another session before we get out for the holiday?”   
  
“Yeah. Want me to set up a date for you?” Junhoe still offered even though they both apparently didn’t trust him with the task.   
  
“No! Maybe, like, give him my number? Oh but how could you do that without it seeming weird. Maybe ask him if we can do a group thing, or something? I don’t know.” Donghyuk frowned. He’d never had such a hard time with something before. He told himself it was just because he was wary of Korea’s different social structure. He wouldn’t offend Yunhyeong, would he?   
  
“Pathetic,” Hanbin teased, “I thought you were good at talking to people, and you can’t even come up with a good way to get the guy your phone number.”   
  
“I know, you don’t have to rub it in.” Donghyuk whined.   
  
“When is your tutoring session? Maybe Dong and I will just show up when it’s nearly over.”   
  
Junhoe nodded. That could work. “You know what, the last one is on Friday, and we’re finishing earlier than usual, so I could totally have you guys over at the end.”   
  
Donghyuk looked between the both of them and frowned. “Ah, seriously? I feel kinda stupid about this. What if he has plans and has to leave right away? What do I do, just throw my number at him?”   
  
“I’ll ask him if he does, and if the answer is yes I’ll text Hanbin and you guys come over a little early. If he doesn’t, then show up with food and he’ll stay.” Yunhyeong wasn’t the sort of guy to turn down free food.   
  
Donghyuk wondered if it could really be so simple. “I can’t believe I’m agreeing to this.”   
  
“Awesome! It’ll be good, don’t worry. Just wear something extra cute and it’ll be a success.” Hanbin was glad they’d come up with a plan to try and help him out.   
  
Donghyuk sighed and flopped back against his pillow. “Okay, okay. Let’s not talk about this for a bit cause I’ll just worry myself sick. Instead you guys need to give me details! Hanbin, was that book I lent you useful?”   
  
“What book? Why didn’t I get a book?” Junhoe grumbled, crossing his arms over his chest.   
  
“You don’t even read instructions for video games, you won’t read instructions for sex.” Hanbin replied, winking at him.   
  
“Oh that’s what kind of book it was?” Junhoe replied, still looking put out.   
  
“It’s in English, though,” Donghyuk quickly explained, “you wouldn’t have understood it.”   
  
“Well, you could have translated it.” Hanbin and Donghyuk both shook their heads silently, which annoyed Junhoe. They weren’t supposed to be ganging up on him. “Either of you could have translated it if you cared about me.”   
  
“Do you honestly think you’d be able to sit through something like that? Because I’ve known you long enough to know that the answer is a resounding no.” Hanbin replied.   
  
Junhoe was unwilling to admit defeat. “You don’t know that for sure,” Junhoe retorted, “this was an important next step, I could have benefitted from some insider information.”   
  
“You didn’t even tell me you were spending the night with him! How was I supposed to know?”   
  
“You didn’t tell me you were doing it with Bobby either!”   
  
Donghyuk sat up and laid a hand on both of their knees. “Okay, let’s talk about something else.”   
  
“No way,” Junhoe replied, “maybe Hanbin knew I would have had a problem with reading that book together, but you didn’t—”   
  
“HA! See, you just admitted it yourself. If I had asked you, you would have said no.” Hanbin fixed him with a smug expression, always happy to get the upper hand.   
  
“I didn’t say that!” Junhoe replied. “I just said I’d have a problem with it. Not that I wouldn’t do it at all.”   
  
“Was it good, though? If it was good, then it doesn’t even matter that you didn’t see it.” Donghyuk jumped in, amused by the argument.   
  
“Of course it was good,” Junhoe replied, “it was amazing, actually.”   
  
“He even got to fuck Jinhwan hyung,” Hanbin whispered, to which Donghyuk nearly shrieked in response.   
  
“Wait, hold on. You got to fuck him?”   
  
Junhoe nodded, and the shock and surprise on Donghyuk’s face was already mollifying. “Yeah, I did. Twice, actually.”   
  
“Oh my god,” Donghyuk whispered, laying back down on his bed and stuffing his face into his pillow. He said something, but neither of them could make it out around the mouthful of fabric.   
  
Hanbin grabbed his shoulder and pulled him over. “Are you okay?”   
  
Donghyuk’s expression was all shock. “Tell me you fucked Bobby too?” Hanbin shook his head, and Donghyuk wailed into the pillow.   
  
Junhoe couldn’t help but laugh. It wasn’t often that he had truly impressive news like this, and he intended to fully savour it.   
  
“I can’t believe that  _ Junhoe _ is now the most experienced of us all,” Donghyuk said, his tone whiny. “This is total bullshit. I almost feel insulted.” Donghyuk looked at Hanbin and laughed, and Hanbin joined in. Junhoe’s expression quickly turned into a glare.   
  
“Why is this insulting?” He asked, annoyed with the pair of them.   
  
“Because,” Donghyuk faltered, “it just is, okay?”   
  
“Yeah, it’s like, your personality. I mean, you like to  _ act _ like you’re a take charge kind of guy, but in reality, you like following people.” Hanbin waited for a reaction, ready to bolt from the bed if Junhoe took offense.   
  
Junhoe’s face dropped, but he didn’t move. “Are you  _ insinuating _ that you think that I’m, a, you know, a—”   
  
“A bottom?” Donghyuk supplied helpfully, giggling when Junhoe turned to him.   
  
“I was getting there!” Junhoe replied, his face beet red already.   
  
“See! You can’t even talk about it without getting embarrassed!” Hanbin replied, dodging out of the way of Junhoe’s kick. “You don’t like trying new things, especially if you don’t know if you’re any good at them.”   
  
“Well you’re the same way!” Junhoe retorted defensively.   
  
“I never said I wasn’t,” Hanbin replied with a grin, “I have no interest in fucking Bobby any time soon, I’ll be garbage. I bet you were probably garbage the first time, that’s why Jinhwan let you do it again, isn’t it?”   
  
“Hanbin, shut your mouth.” Junhoe wanted to throttle him.   
  
“So, I’m gonna guess that Jinhwan let you fuck him first, before he fucked you, right?” Donghyuk asked, grinning when Junhoe sent him a narrow-eyed glare.   
  
“He did, I don’t see why you should care, though.”   
  
“Even hyung expected you to be garbage your first time,” Hanbin replied, shuffling behind Donghyuk to hide from Junhoe.   
  
“Well I couldn’t have been that bad, since he let me fuck him again the morning after! And he had his entrance exam for SNU later that day!” Junhoe shot back, feeling defensive even though he knew he didn’t have to be. They were just teasing him, probably because they knew he’d flip out.   
  
“Oh wow, before his exam? Okay that’s pretty impressive.” Donghyuk replied.   
  
“Impressive? More like pretty stupid.” Hanbin teased.   
  
“Hanbin, why can’t you just be happy for me?” Junhoe complained.   
  
“It’s not in my nature,” Hanbin replied, and he knew that Junhoe wasn’t  _ really _ bothered. Secretly he liked the attention.   
  
“What position did you do it in?” Donghyuk asked, because he was honestly curious.   
  
“Um, the usual one,” Junhoe replied, blushing at the question. God, why couldn’t he talk about this and not get all bent out of shape over it? He thought he’d been getting over his embarrassment.   
  
“From behind?” Donghyuk asked, grinning when Junhoe just nodded.   
  
“Boring,” Hanbin teased, “that was probably the first time, how did you do it the second?”   
  
“Why does it matter?” Junhoe asked.   
  
“I bet he rode you, didn’t he?”   
  
“Hanbin!” Donghyuk hissed, smacking him in the arm.   
  
“I’m just saying, you have more control over what’s going on when you do it that way.”   
  
“You do it one time, Hanbin, and suddenly you’re an expert.” Donghyuk laughed, smacking him again.   
  
“What does it matter? My dick was in his ass, that’s the important thing.” Junhoe glared at Hanbin.   
  
“That’s right, it was. I’m very proud of you.” Hanbin couldn’t help but tease him, and even though Junhoe had done nothing but glare at him so far, when their eyes met a second later, Junhoe burst into laughter and all the grumpiness he’d been carrying disappeared.   
  


* * *

  
The first thing Jinhwan did when he woke up on Sunday morning was call Junhoe. The first call went to voicemail, so Jinhwan dialled the number again. It took three rings until it was answered.   
  
“Hyung?” Junhoe’s voice was heavy with sleep, groggy and grumpy.   
  
Jinhwan flipped over on his bed, lying sideways across his mattress. “I didn’t wake you, did I?” He grinned as he asked. He’d obviously woken Junhoe up.   
  
There was a moment of silence before he got his answer. “What do you want? What time is it?”   
  
“Eight thirty,” Jinhwan answered, before flipping over onto his back, “I didn’t want to get out of bed so I called you.”   
  
There was a moment of silence again. “I don’t understand what that has to do with anything, hyung.”   
  
“I’m going to church with Bobby and his parents and his mom’s making breakfast, but I don’t wanna get out of bed.”   
  
“Why did you have to call me, though?” It wasn’t that Junhoe minded, really. But he didn’t have to be up this early, and he wasn’t impressed with the wake up call.   
  
“Because I don’t wanna get up.” Jinhwan had mainly just called to annoy Junhoe, to see if he actually would answer the call. “I wish I could wake up the way I woke up last Sunday.” Last Sunday he’d woken up next to Junhoe. He wished they were on video chat because Junhoe was probably blushing.   
  
Junhoe  _ was _ blushing. “Um, yeah, me too.” God, why was Jinhwan being so annoying?! Waking him up at this ridiculous early hour just to talk about their last weekend? Not that Junhoe minded rehashing it. Just not so early.   
  
“What are you doing today?” Jinhwan asked, just to keep the conversation going. Maybe he shouldn’t have said that he wished he could wake up next to Junhoe. That had probably been a bad idea. Maybe Junhoe was so tired he’d forget he’d heard it.   
  
Junhoe groaned. Had Jinhwan really called him just to have a conversation?! “I don’t know,” he grumbled, “going to church in a few hours, then going shopping with Hanbin. He has to get something for Bobby’s birthday.”   
  
“He doesn’t need to buy anything except a condom,” Jinhwan joked, grinning when he heard Junhoe grumble, “seriously, Bobby’s a simple guy.”   
  
“Really not interested in hearing those details, hyung.” Junhoe replied.   
  
“Hey speaking of Bobby, are you free on the 21st? I don’t know if Hanbin mentioned it, but since I’m flying to Jeju on the 22nd Bobby’s parents decided to do his birthday dinner on the 21st. Can you come? You don’t have to get him anything, don’t worry, it’s really more for me.” Jinhwan offered the invitation on the spur of the moment. Bobby’s parents wouldn’t mind at all, they loved packing as many people into their celebrations as was physically possible.   
  
“Are you sure? Did you ask Bobby?” Junhoe felt a little weird about being invited to a birthday party without the guest of honour knowing about it.   
  
“Not yet, but I’ll tell him you’re coming today. Honestly, he won’t mind, he likes you.” Jinhwan really just wanted Junhoe to come so he could have an easy excuse to see him again before he left for a week.   
  
“Well, I guess. I mean I don’t have any plans.” He’d ask Hanbin if he should buy Bobby a gift or not.   
  
“Good, bring your appetite too cause Bobby’s mom always makes a huge amount of food. Like I know she’s used to feeding a lot of hungry guys, but she still always makes a ton.” He’d miss Bobby’s mom’s cooking if he left. He wondered if he’d find anyone who could cook like her in LA.   
  
“Alright, cool. How long are you going to Jeju for?” The trip was news to Junhoe, and he wondered how long Jinhwan had known about it.   
  
“Just a week,” Jinhwan replied, “I’m gonna try talking to my mom about jiu jitsu. I think it’ll go well this time.”   
  
“Oh, that’s good. Good luck.” Junhoe was happy to hear that Jinhwan wanted to try sorting it out with his mom. He remembered their talk about Jinhwan’s whole story, and he hoped he could get some happy kind of resolution to it all.   
  
“Thanks,” Jinhwan replied, “plus I really miss island food, so now’s the perfect time to go visit.”   
  
Junhoe was about to reply but he heard yelling in the background of Jinhwan’s line, followed up by Jinhwan’s own muffled reply.   
  
“I gotta go, finally being hauled away for breakfast.”   
  
“Well, don’t let me stop you. I’d kind of like to go back to sleep.”   
  
Jinhwan grinned at the retort. “Oh come on, admit it, you liked being woken up by me.”   
  
“I’m hanging up.”   
  
“Fine, go sleep! Thanks for agreeing to come to Bobby’s party, I’ll make sure I tell Hanbin so you can’t back out of it.” Jinhwan laughed when Junhoe let out an annoyed sigh from his end before ending the call. He tossed his phone down onto his bed and finally struggled to get up. He hadn’t been to church in quite some time what with his trumpet practices. He really hoped Father Lee wasn’t going to grill him for it.   
  


* * *

  
“Ah, Jinhwan, how nice to see you again. You’ve been missing from church lately, I thought maybe you’d gone back to the island.”   
  
Jinhwan smiled sheepishly at their pastor. Just as expected. “I’m sorry, Father Lee, I’ve been having a lot of extra music lessons lately. I had my entrance exam for SNU last weekend, and my instructor booked me for a bunch of Sunday mornings.”   
  
The priest smiled at his explanation. “I see, and did it go well?”   
  
“Of course it did,” Jinhwan replied, “aced it!”   
  
“I’m proud to hear that, you did well.” The pastor reached out to pat his shoulder. “Jiwon, I was wondering if we could have a word?”   
  
Bobby’s blood ran cold at the request, and his eyes rose to meet his pastor’s. “Of course, Father Lee.” There was only a smile on his face, though, but Bobby knew he was well-practiced with the expression. It was part of the job description, really.   
  
Bobby followed him away from the few remaining people, up to the front of the church where they settled in at the first pew. Bobby couldn’t help but feel anxious. Why did Father Lee want to talk to him? Had he found out about Hanbin? How would he have, though? Someone would have had to have told him. Enough time had passed by now that he’d finally stopped worrying about his pastor finding out. Besides, Bobby was sure the relationship had God’s blessing, there were too many things that lined up. There was no way Father Lee was going to be against it if he knew about it.   
  
“I'm disappointed in you, Jiwon.”

_ Shit.  _ Bobby panicked, looked around for his parents. Oh God, this was it, wasn't it?

“That boy who came with you a few weeks ago, Hanbin, was that his name?” Bobby nodded, feeling sick to his stomach at what was surely coming. “He’s your boyfriend, is he not?”

What was he supposed to say? He couldn't lie to his pastor. Not in church. He thought again about Jiun's words that day. He hadn't done anything wrong. He wasn't doing anything wrong. “Yes, Father Lee.”

The older man nodded, his expression not giving anything away. “You brought your boyfriend to my sermon, but didn't introduce him to me?”

Bobby wasn't sure what to make of the comment. Was he angry with Bobby for bringing him?

“Ten years now, I've been your pastor. I would have thought that you'd feel comfortable introducing the important people in your life to me.”

Bobby's mouth hung low in shock. This was unexpected. “I’m sorry, I, uh, I didn’t know. That you knew. About me, and him. Mostly about me.”   
  
Father Lee smiled at him. “I didn’t know about him, I had to ask your grandmother.”   
  
His grandmother. She really  _ had _ been talking to him about he and Hanbin!   
  
“Don’t be upset with your grandmother, Jiwon, you’ll be happy to know that she told me, in no uncertain terms, that Hanbin was  _ special _ and an absolutely wonderful boy, and that she fully expected me to embrace him as a member of our extended family.”   
  
Bobby just stared at him in shock. His grandmother had said  _ what? _   
  
“I’ve been waiting to say something, hoping you might bring him back with you. But it’s been a month now, and no sign. I asked your mother before talking to you, to make sure nothing had happened.”   
  
Bobby still couldn’t speak. His pastor knew. Knew about him being  _ gay. _ And he wasn’t upset by it.   
  
“Jiwon, it’s okay, I’m sorry for shocking you. You may speak.”   
  
Oh, now Father Lee was  _ teasing _ him? “I’m sorry, I just, when did you find out? About me? Being, uh, you know.”   
  
“I've known you were gay ever since you came out, Jiwon. Your mother and I spoke at length about it, I helped her find peace over it. She was ready to support you from the start, but this situation is difficult for many people to accept when they've spent a lifetime hearing that it's wrong. Many in our community might disagree with my stance of support, but I will always preach acceptance. Your grandmother and mother both speak very highly of Hanbin. I hope to have a proper introduction to him one day.”

Bobby nodded, still too shocked to speak. All this time he'd been worrying over nothing. Why hadn't anyone told him? “Thank you, Father Lee.”

“Jiwon, if this is the path that has been chosen for you, and it's the same path that was chosen for Hanbin, then I wish you both happiness. As long as you make each other happy, and you learn and grow together, those are the important things in life. Don't concern yourself with anyone else's opinion. Family is the most important thing, family and faith.”   
  
“He’s not Christian.” Bobby wasn’t sure why he’d suddenly felt compelled to tell him. He didn’t want to hide Hanbin’s religious views, not when he was being met with such open acceptance.   
  
“What Hanbin believes in is between himself and God,” Father Lee replied, “it’s not for us to pass judgement on. Does he not live by the same ideals as you and I? He’s a good person who cares about others. Whatever he does or does not believe is not for us to judge. God loves the both of you, Jiwon, and he’s brought you together for his own reasons. His approval is good enough for me.”   
  
Bobby felt like a weight had been lifted from his shoulders. Father Lee was essentially giving him permission to truly be  _ himself _ at church, to be  _ gay, _ without fear of repercussion. It wasn’t something Bobby had ever expected to receive, and he blinked back stubborn tears.   
  
“Thank you, Father, honestly thank you. This means a lot to me.”   
  
“I can see that, Jiwon. So please bring him back with you soon, so I can meet him properly. And please tell him not to feel pressured while he’s here. It’s not imperative that we all believe in the same things, as long as we respect each other’s beliefs. Everything else we must leave to the Lord himself, isn’t that right?”   
  
Bobby nodded, wiping a tear from his eye. God’s blessing indeed.   
  


* * *

  
“Not only are we celebrating our Jiwon-ie’s birthday, but our Jinhwan-ie’s exciting news too!” Bobby’s mom exclaimed, sparkling eyes shooting between the pair. “Brown belt, already! The black is next, isn’t it?”   
  
Jinhwan looked at Bobby, feeling slightly betrayed to see him fighting back a laugh, like he thought it was funny. “Ah, really, this is a birthday dinner, we don’t have to talk about me.”   
  
“Just let her talk, Jinan, she needs to get it out of her system.” Jiun nudged him.   
  
“I’m just proud of him, the same way I was proud of you for making your black belt, Jiun-ah!” She retorted. “He’s going to be gone for a week, I just want him to know that we’re all very proud of him.”   
  
Jinhwan was touched; he was pretty sure she was making a big deal out of it because she was worried that his own mother might not be as impressed, and she wanted to make sure that she did her job in congratulating him. He’d have to hug her extra hard later.   
  
“How was the test, anyway?” Jiun asked.   
  
“Easy, it was more of a demonstration of everything I know. Our tests aren’t really tests, so much as they are showcases, I guess.”   
  
“Did he screw up at all?” Hanbin asked Junhoe, who’d been there to watch.   
  
“No, I kept hoping he would, but he put on an annoyingly perfect performance.” Junhoe replied, teasing Jinhwan.   
  
“Hold on, Junhoe went to your test?” Bobby said, looking at Jinhwan in disbelief. “How come you’ve never invited me to one?”   
  
Jinhwan grinned back at him. “You’d be bored, trust me. I saved you over an hour of your life you’d never be able to get back.”   
  
Bobby shook his head, not really upset but playing into it. “Wow. You think you know someone, and they stab you in the back.”   
  
“Honestly, did he miss anything, Junhoe?” Jinhwan turned to his side.   
  
Junhoe shook his head. “You really didn’t, hyung.”   
  
“Then why did you go if it was so boring?” Bobby asked him.   
  
Junhoe shrugged. “An early Christmas present,” he teased, grinning when Jinhwan narrowed his eyes at him.   
  
“Yeah, from me to you,” Jinhwan replied, “giving you another chance to see a true master at work.”   
  
Junhoe rolled his eyes. “Yeah, a master fleeing the purple rank in fear.”   
  
“Excuse me?” Jinhwan asked.   
  
“I just think it’s convenient, that’s all.” Junhoe replied, grinning to himself.   
  
“What’s convenient?” Jinhwan questioned, amused by his attitude.   
  
“It’s convenient that you went and levelled up before we could have a rematch.” Junhoe replied, winking at him.   
  
Jinhwan shook his head. “Oh I’m sorry, you think you could beat me now?”   
  
“Nothing in life is a guarantee, but I think I like my chances.”   
  
“Yeah, actually given how much I’ve taught you recently, you probably could take me if you were lucky.” Jinhwan winked back at him.   
  
Hanbin cleared his throat and kicked Jinhwan under the table. “Excuse me, stop being disgusting, we’re trying to eat.”   
  
Jinhwan was about to fire off a retort about the hypocrisy, but suddenly Bobby’s mother spoke up.   
  
“Oh, is there something going on here we should know about?”   
  
Jinhwan’s expression turned murderous, while Junhoe blushed and looked back at his plate. Hanbin laughed and even Bobby grinned.   
  
“No, Mrs Kim, nothing is going on.” Jinhwan didn’t think she needed to know about he and Junhoe’s  _ arrangement. _   
  
She seemed disappointed. “Oh, well that’s too bad.”   
  
“Too bad? Mom!” Bobby groaned.   
  
“What? A mother likes to see her sons happy, that’s all.” Mrs. Kim shot them a beaming smile.   
  
“Mom stop.” Bobby begged, shooting Junhoe a look of apology. Jinhwan was used to it, he was on his own.   
  
“Can you blame me? There are two very good looking young men here, who I know both appreciate good looking young men, I just assumed there was something there.”   
  
“MOM!” Bobby yelled, surprised when Hanbin smacked his arm.   
  
“Don’t yell at your mother, hyung! She just wants them to be happy, is that so bad?” Bobby glared at him, and Hanbin grinned back.   
  
“She’s meddling, don’t encourage her.” Jinhwan cut in, teasing Bobby’s mother.   
  
“That’s what moms do. That’s how you know they love you, right Mrs. Kim?” Hanbin winked at Bobby’s mother, who laughed at him and called him a charmer. Hanbin yelped when he felt a foot connect with his shin under the table.   
  
“Yah, stop flirting with my mother!” Jiun yelled at him, getting in on the teasing.   
  
“Oh hush, Jiun-ah! You know we have a policy of truth at this table, anyone who sits down is allowed to say whatever they like.” Mrs. Kim winked back at Hanbin.   
  
Junhoe just went back to eating. He liked the atmosphere with Bobby’s family, everyone teasing everyone else. It was easy to feel welcome here, and he was grateful they’d invited him. Plus he was just glad that he was getting to spend a final evening with Jinhwan before he left for the week.   
  
And even though his knee jerk reaction had been one of embarrassment, it was actually kind of nice that Bobby’s mom had assumed there was something going on between he and Jinhwan. Maybe she was able to pick up on how well matched they were, maybe she could feel that they just worked together. Weren’t mothers supposed to be good match-makers? Bobby’s mother knew Jinhwan, so Junhoe felt like her support of there being something between them was a sign that there really ought to be something there.   
  
Maybe there would be, when Jinhwan came back from his trip.   
  
Junhoe would think about it over the break, really think about whether or not he wanted to risk what they had now in order to ask for something more. Because as much as he kept trying to fight the feelings down, they kept coming back, and they were even stronger now at this dinner.   
  
He and Jinhwan were the only odd ones out at the table, not an  _ official _ couple.   
  
How nice would it be if that could change?


	43. In The Eye pt. 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jinhwan's visit to Jeju Island is rocked by surprising news from his mother. He spends some time discussing life with Eric.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, so this chapter is only Jinhwan. I couldn't finish the whole Jeju trip in one chapter, so I broke it up into two, but the others will also be back in the next chapter. :)
> 
> I hope everyone is enjoying the comeback!! ♥♥♥

Jinhwan hadn’t slept that night, nervous about his visit home. He was excited to go back, he looked forward to being with his mother and sister over Christmas. His last Christmas at home had been bittersweet, having come after his breakup with Eric. But he was happy this year, so things were going to better.   
  
The plane ride had been slightly nerve-wracking, though, bumpy and turbulent. He hoped that wasn’t some kind of sign of things to come, but he wasn’t the sort who usually believed in stuff like that. It was just a coincidence of the weather.   
  
His mother met him at the airport and despite having seen her a month ago he still felt emotional seeing her here now. He hugged her with teary eyes, and he could hear her trying to hide a sniffle in his shoulder.   
  
“Ah mom, stop, you’re gonna make us both cry, this is stupid.”   
  
She just kissed his cheek. “I just miss you, sweetheart. I’m happy to have you home for a whole week.”   
  
As they stepped out and Jinhwan smelled the fresher air of the island, he felt a weird sort of peace settle over him as well. Maybe it was lack of sleep, but he felt like he was finally going to get resolution, one way or the other. Even if it didn’t go the way he wanted it to, at least he’d have his answer. That had to count for something.   
  
The drive home was filled with his mom telling him about things with the symphony, plans for performances and all the gossip of people he’d been hearing about for years. It was nice to listen to her talk about them, her extended musical family. She truly cared about all the artists there, even took the time to get to know all of the junior musicians. He thought it was probably a nice distraction for her when she missed him.   
  
He stopped just inside the door of their house. One of his favourite things about Jeju was the  _ space. _ Everything in Seoul was cramped, everyone crammed together in a mass of apartment buildings. Here his mother owned a house, a large one, with a beautiful garden backyard, an unheard of luxury in the city.   
  
“Are you hungry now, or did you want to nap first? I have your favourite ready for lunch, whenever you want to eat.” His mom took his coat from him and hung it up, fussing over him already. Despite not having slept Jinhwan felt awake now, rejuvenated just by the change of scenery.   
  
“What are you making me?” He followed her into the kitchen, always excited to have island cuisine after being away.   
  
“The usual, black pork, I even got some abalone too, we didn’t have that last time, did we?”   
  
Jinhwan wound his arms around her from behind, hugging her tightly and kissing her cheek. “You’re the best mom, I love you.”   
  
“Ah, why do I only hear that when I’m cooking your favourite food?” She teased him, but she sounded happy to hear it regardless.   
  
“I say it at other times,” he replied, letting her go to open the refrigerator to help her get things prepared.   
  
“It doesn’t count if I’m not around to hear it,” she replied, grabbing the bowl of pork.   
  
He grinned at the retort. “Ah, you caught me. I say it in my sleep.”   
  
She shook her head at his response, but her smile was nothing but fond. “You brat. Let’s go out back, we’ll do a proper barbeque.”   
  
He followed her outside, setting the table while she fired up the barbeque and turned on the heat lamp she’d had installed on the back patio. It didn’t get as cold on the island as it got in Seoul, but it was still chilly enough to need some artificial warmth. It was just nice to sit outside and eat, to be able to smell the salt air of the ocean.   
  
He felt like he was  _ home, _ and it was such a comfortable feeling. He didn’t realize how much he’d needed the trip, not until he’d gotten here. It was just nice to be away from everything for a bit, to clear his head.   
  
Originally he’d been thinking about talking to her right away about jiu jitsu, but he decided to leave it until the following day so he could fully enjoy the day with her before broaching a potentially unpleasant topic. That’s how their afternoon went. They ate delicious food and he filled her in on things he didn’t usually tell her (mainly about Bobby’s family) and after they finished eating they sat together on the porch swing, enjoying the sunset together.   
  
That was when she surprised him.   
  
“There’s something we need to talk about, Jinhwan-ie. I was going to leave it, but I think it’s best if we speak now, before anything happens.”   
  
Jinhwan felt his heart stop for a few seconds, wondering what she could possibly be talking about. Had Seiyeon said something to her about the jiu jitsu? Was she going to broach the topic herself? He’d spent so long trying to decide how to start the conversation that he felt like her starting it would throw him off completely.   
  
“I know this might be hard for you to hear, and I apologize if it causes you any stress. But your father called, and he wants to see you.”   
  
Her words felt like a kick in the gut, they sucked all the air out of him. Of all the things he’d thought she might say, this oddly hadn’t even been on the radar.   
  
“I wanted to say no right away, to tell him that he didn’t deserve to speak to you, not after the way he left. But it’s not my choice, I can’t take that away from you.”   
  
Her voice felt strangely thick with worry, almost like she was afraid to hear his answer. Afraid that maybe he’d say yes. Afraid that, just like those few years ago, Jinhwan would cling to his dad and use him against her.   
  
“I don’t want to see him,” he said, the words tumbling out quickly, “I don’t ever want to see him again.”   
  
He didn’t miss the momentary look of relief on her face, and as painful as it was, it was also good, wasn’t it? It was a good way to bridge into his newfound understanding of her.    
  
“Don’t make hasty decisions, I know things were rocky, but people change.”   
  
“I don’t care if he’s changed,” Jinhwan replied, reaching out to take her hand, “it doesn’t change what he did. To me, and to you. He doesn’t deserve our forgiveness.”   
  
She smiled at him in a proud sort of way, but she wasn’t about to relent. “I know you feel that way now, but just think about it, okay? Choosing to talk to him again won’t mean that you’ve forgiven him.”   
  
“I know, I just don’t want to. I don’t need him back in my life. He wasn’t there when I did need him, and now that I don’t need him, I have no desire to see him again. No matter what sort of person he is now.”   
  
“Don’t you miss having a father?” She asked him, and he knew she was just exhausting her options, doing what she felt was her parental duty to give him the choice.   
  
“I have a dad,” he replied, “Bobby’s dad. He’s been better to me than my own ever was.”   
  
She smiled at that and put her arm around his shoulders. “I’m happy to hear that, sweetheart. But just think about it, okay? I don’t want you to leave without taking the opportunity, only to regret it later. It’s always best to think about these things with a clearer head, so sleep on it and let me know tomorrow, okay?”   
  
He nodded and promised her that he would, before sinking down a bit in his seat and leaning against her, letting her kiss his forehead.   
  
She was right. Decisions made in haste weren’t always made with your best interests at heart. They were defensive decisions, ones that tried to shield you from damage. Sometimes, though, you needed to reopen old wounds, needed to air them out and let them see the sun. Just to make sure they were healing.   
  


* * *

  
It was kind of wild, being back in the old gym. It hadn’t really been that long since he’d trained here, but so much had happened that he felt like it had been longer, he felt older, wiser, way more mature. He stood in the middle of the room and looked around at the kids, brand new fighters with their white belts, some of them possibly even taking their first classes. He loved teaching the new kids, loved seeing their individual energy, loved looking for the ones who needed him.   
  
“Wow, look at this, you’re really here.”   
  
Jinhwan turned around when he heard the voice, a beaming smile on his face.   
  
“Hey, hyung.”   
  
Eric pulled him in for a hug, and Jinhwan hugged him back tightly. He’d arranged to come and help Eric teach a white belt class while he was here, and they’d made plans to have lunch together afterwards. Jinhwan had originally just planned it to hang out and catch up, but he desperately wanted to talk to Eric about his father, wanted to get his opinion.   
  
But that would wait until after the class.   
  
“It’s nice to see you in here again. Hey, have you grown since the last time I saw you?”   
  
Jinhwan glared at him. “Not funny.”   
  
Eric laughed at him though, ruffling his hair. “Couldn’t help myself.” Jinhwan was about to retort but instead the door chimed open behind him, and a chorus of voices yelled out.   
  
“Hyung!” “Jimin hyung!” “Hyung is here!”   
  
Jinhwan spun around, his eyes falling on Park Jimin, Eric’s protege that he’d beaten at the last tournament. The kids were swarming him. Jinhwan looked back at Eric. “You conveniently neglected to mention that he would be here too, didn’t you?”   
  
Eric grinned back at him. “Must have slipped my mind. You don’t mind, do you?”   
  
“Not one bit,” Jinhwan replied, “I mean I beat him, after all. Maybe you should be asking him if he minds.” He didn’t really mind at all, of course. He was actually kind of amused.   
  
“Oh I did ask him,” Eric said, “well, originally he just asked me if I needed help with today’s class, and then when I told him that you were helping me already, he begged me to let him help too.”   
  
“Did he really?” Jinhwan asked, looking back at Jimin, who was prying kids off of him.   
  
“Yeah, ask him yourself if you don’t believe me.” Eric put an arm around his shoulders before calling to Jimin.   
  
“Jimin-ah, you’re almost late, hurry up and get changed.”   
  
Jimin’s face was slightly panicked when he looked up. “What, no hyung there’s still ten minutes, I made sure--” then he noticed Jinhwan, and he saw the look on Eric’s face, and Jimin scrunched his face up and a bit of a blush coloured his cheeks. “Ah, hyung! Don’t tease me like that.”   
  
Eric laughed. “So easy to rile up; come here.”   
  
Jimin approached them eagerly, bowing deeply to Jinhwan. “Jinhwan-sshi, it’s nice to see you again! I hope you don’t mind that I asked hyung if I could come and help out today too. I, uh, wanted to greet you again.”   
  
Okay,  _ that _ was winning the kid huge points in Jinhwan’s book. “Ah, just call me hyung, okay?”   
  
“Thank you, hyung!”   
  
“Jinan-ie’s just happy to have someone around who’s shorter than him, right kiddo?”   
  
Jinhwan glared at Eric, but it was true, at least. He hadn’t grown any since the last time he’d seen Eric, but neither had Jimin, at least. Small victories.   
  
“Ah, hyung, quit teasing us short guys, okay?” Jimin whined, and unlike the first time he’d heard it, Jinhwan didn’t find his whining annoying now.   
  
“I tease to show I care,” Eric replied, winking at Jinhwan, “now come along, my tiny apprentices, get changed so we can get this session started.”   
  
Jinhwan followed Jimin into the changing room, and together they quickly changed into their gis. Jimin’s eyes caught on Jinhwan when he was knotting his belt up.   
  
“When did you get your brown belt, hyung?”   
  
Jinhwan finished tying it and looked at him. “About a week ago.”   
  
“Ah, that’s awesome, congratulations! How does it feel, being a rank higher now?”   
  
“Pretty good, actually.”   
  
“One step away from a black belt. Must be exciting!”   
  
“It is, for sure. You want to get your black some day?”   
  
“Definitely, I mean I have to catch up to you, right?”   
  
“Mm, rematch?” Jinhwan teased him, and Jimin grinned back at him.   
  
“Always!”   
  
“Maybe if everyone does well today, we’ll end the session with a rematch then?” Eric overheard their discussion, winking at them. The kids yelled in agreement. “What’s this, Jinan?” Eric grabbed the end of his belt. “You didn’t have this the last time I saw you.”   
  
“Promoted a week ago!” Jinhwan replied, amused when the kids looked at him with interested eyes.   
  
“You know, kids, Jinhwan and Jimin actually fought each other at a tournament a few months ago,” Eric said, and Jinhwan could have killed him for it.   
  
“Did you win, Jimin hyung?” One of the kids asked, and Jinhwan hoped these kids weren’t going to hate him now for beating their beloved junior instructor.   
  
“Oh no, hyung is a much better fighter than I am, he won that day!” Jimin proudly stated, and Jinhwan wanted to kill them both.   
  
“I actually used to teach Jinhwan too,” Eric said, “before he moved to Seoul.”   
  
“He’s the one in the picture in hyung’s office!” One of the kids yelled, suddenly recognizing Jinhwan’s features.   
  
“I’m what?” Jinhwan looked at Eric for confirmation.   
  
Eric was grinning. “Ah, it’s a picture from your first national title,” Eric replied, and Jinhwan felt warm at the explanation, “Jinhwan-ie was my first student that I ever taught who won at a national tournament.”   
  
The crowd of kids erupted into a chorus of oohs and ahhs, and Jinhwan could barely keep the laughter to himself. Kids at this age were adorable, so easy to impress.   
  
“But that’s enough about us. Time for class, so everyone get to your places on the mats.” Jinhwan watched as the kids assembled and Jimin started taking them through some stretching exercises to get warmed up. Jinhwan stood next to Eric and watched.   
  
“I didn’t think the kids would call me out like that,” Eric whispered to him, and Jinhwan grinned back.   
  
“I feel honoured, still being in a place of importance.”   
  
“Well, like I said, you were my first student to take home a title. You know what they say, there’s always something special about your first, it stays with you for life.”   
  
Jinhwan’s smile was genuine and happy. It was just nice, to be able to talk about this stuff with Eric, even to make little allusions and jokes about their relationship. There really  _ was _ something special about your first, and Eric had been his first love. He was lucky that things were good between them now, because Eric had been an important part of his growth as a person. He didn’t want to lose that.   
  
The class ran for an hour, and during that time Jinhwan did what he loved doing best—helping kids find their confidence in themselves. He paid attention during the class, picked out the kids who seemed the least sure of themselves and helped them the most. It was worth it for each smile he got in return, to see the looks on their faces when he helped them nail a technique. It reminded him so much of himself when he was that age, lacking in confidence and unsure of everything.   
  
By the end of the class the kids were starting to get antsy, wanting to see he and Jimin fight each other again. Jinhwan usually went into every fight with the intent of winning (even training matches for fun) but when he paused for a moment to think about it, he wondered if that was the right choice this time.   
  
He was only here as a guest and he wouldn’t be back again. Jimin, on the other hand, was with these kids all the time, they all looked up to him.   
  
Should he let Jimin win? Not in an obvious way, of course. Maybe tap a little quick, or be a little slow on noticing him setting up a move. It wouldn’t really be for Jimin, but for the kids. It was important to  _ like _ your instructors, and the kids loved Jimin, so he was obviously a good guy.   
  
Jinhwan didn’t want to sully his reputation in front of the kids’ eyes.   
  
“You ready for our match, Jimin?” Jinhwan asked him, amused at Jimin’s almost bashful response.   
  
“Always ready, hyung!” They cleared a spot and the kids sat around them, Eric acting as the official.   
  
“Alright, let’s do a ten minute match, okay? Either someone gets the victory, or I’ll count points. You guys good with that?” They both nodded, and Eric got them started.   
  
Jinhwan fought like he wanted to win, because more than anything he just wanted to give them all a good match, Jimin included. But near the end he got his chance. He had Jimin in a shoulder lock, but he didn’t have his foot secured. Just as he’d hoped Jimin took the bait and reversed it, and unlike Jinhwan he kept his hold tight, secured it right away.   
  
Jinhwan fought it, made it look good. The kids were yelling around them, and for the first time in his fighting career, Jinhwan willingly lost a fight. He tapped out and laid there, breathing hard as Jimin celebrated the victory. He looked at him out of the corner of his eye, grinning when he saw Jimin being tackled to the ground by the kids.   
  
Mission accomplished.   
  
But when he sat up he suddenly came face to face with one of the kids he’d been helping.   
  
“It was a good fight, hyung.” The boy said to him, almost in a whisper.   
  
Jinhwan smiled at him and nodded. “It was a really good fight, he got a lot better since the last time I fought him.”   
  
“He must have, if he beat you, cause you’re a brown belt and he’s only purple.”   
  
Jinhwan pulled the kid onto his lap, which made the boy smile. “You know what? Belts don’t always truly measure how good of a fighter someone is. Remember that when you fight guys, okay? Just because someone is a belt higher than you, that doesn’t mean they’ll beat you for sure. When I was a blue belt, there was a guy I trained with who had a purple belt, and I always used to beat him when we fought each other.”   
  
“Really?”   
  
“Yeah. Sometimes you get lucky, or sometimes you fight a guy who’s having a bad day. What matters though, is that you always learn something from every fight. That’s the most important thing to always remember. You won’t win every fight, but if you pay attention, you’ll always learn something, and that’s the most important thing.”   
  
The boy nodded and hugged him suddenly, and Jinhwan looked up to see Eric watching him with a fond smile. Jinhwan smiled back at him. This was the reason why he wanted to do this so bad. This was something he could never achieve with music. Music gave comfort, but Jinhwan wanted to inspire confidence.   
  


* * *

  
“Alright, I have to ask, why did you let Jimin win?”   
  
Jinhwan grinned at the question. He’d been expecting Eric to ask and was surprised he’d waited this long. They were in a booth at their favourite seafood place, waiting for their food.   
  
“I have no idea what you’re talking about, he beat me fair and square.”   
  
“Bullshit he did,” Eric didn’t buy it, of course, “you did a good job, though, I don’t think even Jimin realized what you did, but I saw it.”   
  
Jinhwan shrugged. “It was his lucky day.”   
  
“Really, though, why did you do it? Usually you’re too competitive to willingly throw a fight.”   
  
Jinhwan smiled at him, and he was happy Eric had picked up on it. “Honestly, at first I wanted to just kick his ass again, what with my promotion and all. But it was the kids.”   
  
“The kids?”   
  
“Yeah. Those kids really love him, and I’ll probably never see any of them again. I didn’t want them to remember me as that guy they saw once who kicked their favourite hyung’s ass, you know? Instead I’d let them celebrate something with him.”   
  
Eric shook his head, impressed. “That’s awfully mature of you.”   
  
Jinhwan grinned at him. “I know, just full of surprises, right?”   
  
“Are you ever.”   
  
Jinhwan hadn’t decided on a good way to bring up his dad, so he decided to just go for it now while they were waiting for their food. “Speaking of surprises, my dad called my mom, said he wanted to see me.”   
  
It surprised Eric as much as it had Jinhwan. “What did you say?”   
  
Jinhwan shook his head, hoping to get the clarity he needed from this conversation. “As soon as she told me, I knew I didn’t want to see him. She kept telling me to not make a hasty decision, to make sure I really thought about it.”   
  
“And what are you thinking?”   
  
“I’m not ready to think about him again. I don’t like thinking about him, because it just makes me really angry. I know that forgiving people can really help you move past things, but honestly I don’t feel like I’m ready to even think about it. I don’t care if he has changed, if he’s a good guy now. I  _ want _ to be angry at him, and I want him to know I’m angry. Does that sound toxic? Or do you think I’m right in feeling that way?” That was Jinhwan’s biggest concern. He knew he had a right to be angry at his father, but holding grudges wasn’t always healthy for a person.   
  
Eric didn’t hesitate before answering. “Well, you’re not wrong, of course. He hurt you a lot, hurt your whole family. But I guess my concern is how much does it affect you. Are you consumed with anger towards him? Do you think about him often?”   
  
Jinhwan shook his head. “Honestly I try to think about him as little as possible. Usually I don’t think about him at all, it’s like I’ve just removed that part of my life. I only think about him when I think about the specific situation, if you know what I mean.”   
  
Eric nodded. “I get it, and I guess there’s your answer. If you were constantly angry, constantly thinking about him, then I’d be worried. Because it would be this omni-present toxicity in your life. But if you never really think about him, then I think you’re okay. You’re allowed to be angry at people who’ve hurt you, and you’re allowed to not want to forgive them. I mean honestly, who’s to say he even deserves your forgiveness? There’s a difference between forgiving someone, and then not forgiving them but moving on. You might never want to forgive him for what he did, but there might come a day when you want to leave it in the past and move on. But only you know when the time is right for you to do that.”   
  
Jinhwan felt better listening to Eric’s answer. “I think I still want to be mad at him because I feel like I haven’t been mad for long enough.”   
  
“You spent too much time with your anger misdirected at your mom instead of at him, so that makes sense. You feel like you’d be cheating your mom if you let him back in.”   
  
“That’s it exactly, hyung.” Eric had nailed it, and Jinhwan was grateful to him for putting it in words because he hadn’t truly understood why he felt that way. “I should have been angry with him from the beginning, because everything was always his fault. But instead he let mom take the fall for everything, he and grandpa both made me hate her, made me angry and bitter towards her, and I didn’t even get anything out of it, you know? I tried to pander to dad all those years, thought if I could make him happy then I’d be happier. But he was never doing any of it for me, it was always for himself. He’s the one responsible for ruining the family, not mom. I feel like he deserves my anger for the rest of his life, because he made me hurt my relationship with mom for so long.”   
  
“That sounds completely legit, Jinan. If his actions had only impacted you, maybe it would be different, but they impacted you and your mother, and your sister, and you guys all suffered because of him. Maybe he’s a good person now, who knows. But even if he is, he doesn’t deserve you now, just because he’s your dad. If he truly has changed, and if he wants to put you first, then he’ll wait as long as it takes for you to be ready to talk to him. But if he refuses to understand and presses again, then you’ll know he’s only doing it to comfort his own guilty conscience.”   
  
Jinhwan felt so relieved at Eric’s opinion, felt like it validated his own feelings. He reached out and grabbed Eric’s hand, squeezing it tightly. “Thanks, hyung, like I felt pretty confident that my thoughts were right, but you put some things into words for me. Thank you for that.”   
  
Eric smiled back at him, looked proud. “You’ve come a long way, Jinan. You’ve matured a lot emotionally, I’m impressed.”   
  
Jinhwan smiled back at him. It felt good to hear that, and it was good to know that he really had come a long way emotionally. “Ah none of it would be possible without you! Honestly, if you hadn’t been there, I’d probably be a disaster right now.”   
  
“Probably.” They both laughed at that. “So have you talked to your mom about California yet?”   
  
Jinhwan shook his head. “No, I was thinking about just waiting until after Christmas, especially with the whole dad conversation. I want to just get it over with, but I also want to have a nice and happy Christmas, since last year I was, well let’s say I was a little emotionally compromised.”   
  
Eric grinned and nodded. “Yeah, you and me both.”   
  
Jinhwan grinned back at him, again grateful that they could easily and openly talk about their past without things getting awkward. “I want our Christmas to be happy this year. In case I don’t get the answer I want. I don’t want to make things uncomfortable.”   
  
“I can understand that. But you never know when the right moment will pop up. She might bring it up first, who knows.”   
  
“I was wondering if I should wait for Seiyeon to get home, but then mom might feel like we’re ganging up on her. But Seiyeon’s always been better at talking to mom than I’ve been.”   
  
“About your problems, maybe, I’m sure she has bitter arguments with your mom when you’re not around, though. It’s always easier to discuss something that doesn’t directly affect your own life, so don’t feel like she’s got something on you. Just stay calm and remember what you need to say. Approach it properly, and she’ll listen to you.”   
  
Jinhwan nodded, taking a sip of his tea before continuing. “I know, that’s been my problem, I yelled too much before. Had this expectation that I deserved to have her blindly support every decision I make, but I understand that I can’t act like that. I wouldn’t want her to treat me that way, so I can’t do it to her.”   
  
Eric grinned and patted his hand. “Ah, that mature response. You’ve grown well, Jinan.”   
  
“Except height-wise, right?” Jinhwan replied sarcastically, getting the jab in before Eric could.   
  
“Except height-wise! Which is good, you’re already enough to handle as it is. I can’t imagine a taller you. Wouldn’t seem right.”   
  
Jinhwan shook his head and kicked him under the table. “So annoying.”   
  
“Hey speaking of annoying, how are things going with that guy? Junhoe, right?”   
  
“Yeah, the big, loud, and annoying one.” Jinhwan grinned, grateful that he’d asked. “It’s going well. I finally banged him.”   
  
“Oh? And how was it?” Eric asked, an amused expression on his face.   
  
“Better than expected,” Jinhwan replied, “he learns well.” Eric nodded and for just a second Jinhwan saw the expression slip, saw the brief flash of regret in his eyes. But it didn’t last long, and conversation flowed along easily. Their food came and Jinhwan inquired about Eric’s life. “How’s married life?”   
  
Eric shrugged. “Better than expected,” he teased back, “she’s a fun person, I wasn’t sure how it would feel, but it hasn’t really changed anything, being married. I enjoy spending time with her, honestly. I thought I’d get tired of pretending, but to be fair it’s not that much of a lie. I do love her. She’s my best friend, so really it could be a lot worse.”   
  
Jinhwan was surprised at the answer, especially because it seemed honest. “That’s good. But you know, as much as I love Bobby and I love living with him, I wouldn’t really want to marry him.”   
  
Eric nodded, and finally the happy look fell from his face completely, replaced with one of worry. “I’ve been thinking about telling her the truth.”   
  
Jinhwan was surprised to hear it. “Why now?”   
  
“Ah, you know, typical meddling parents, pressuring us to start a family. At first it was fine, because she said she didn’t want any for a few years, at least. But I’ve seen her checking out baby stuff lately, and I think she might be changing her mind. If it was just the two of us, if she didn’t want kids at all, it would be different, I might not ever tell her. But I don’t know. I shouldn’t do that with a family.”   
  
Jinhwan listened to him talk. He was surprised that Eric was telling him about the issue. The only time he’d ever shared any of his own concerns had been when he’d explained about the engagement to begin with, and even that had just been an explanation. It hadn’t really seemed like he’d been sharing anything. But now he was bringing up his own problem in a way he never had before, and Jinhwan was happy for it.   
  
Eric seemed to pick up on it too. “Ah, I shouldn’t be loading this on you, it’s Christmas, you’re not here to listen to me cry about my own situation.”   
  
Jinhwan reached out to take his hand again. “No, tell me. You sound like you need to talk, and I want to listen.”   
  
“Ah, it’s okay. You have your own concerns, and I’ve always been there for you. You don’t have to do that for me.”   
  
Jinhwan wasn’t willing to give up. “You can tell me, okay? I’m not an emotionally compromised kid anymore.” The comment made Eric smile. “Do you have anyone to talk to about this?”   
  
Eric shook his head. “Not really. Not anyone who understands, at least.”   
  
“So talk to me, then. Our relationship doesn’t just have to be you helping me. I can help you too.”   
  
Eric met his eyes then, and for only the second time since knowing him, Jinhwan saw tears in them. “Thanks, I appreciate that, truly.”   
  
Jinhwan smiled back at him. He’d looked up to Eric for so long, and it felt nice to be trusted to see the vulnerable side of him finally. “So, kids.”   
  
“Yeah, kids. So what do you think I should do? Should I just live with it, or should I tell her?”   
  
Jinhwan had his opinions, and he launched into them right away, eager to help him sort out his own issues. “Let’s say you don’t tell her, and you just let things happen. Maybe things will be okay, maybe they’ll be better than expected. But they say kids change things, and maybe the way you guys work together now won’t be good enough anymore. Maybe she’ll want more from you, things she doesn’t want now. And maybe you’ll feel like they’re things you can’t give, but you’ll fake it anyway. You’ll both know something’s wrong, though. And it’ll create tension, and you’ll both start feeling bitter. But then you have this kid, and maybe that kid is going to be the one who gets caught in the middle. Then all three of you will be miserable. It’s not worth taking the chance.”   
  
Eric nodded. “Yeah, that’s what I’m thinking. But then what happens if she hates me for it? What if she’s so against it that she tells our families? My parents  _ will _ disown me over this. There’s no question about it, my parents despise gay people. Her family’s the same, I found that out recently. What if they use it to ruin me professionally? How many parents are going to want a gay guy to teach their kids? I’ll probably ruin my career.”   
  
“What if you moved back to the US? Do you think it would be better there?”   
  
Eric shrugged. “I don’t know, probably, but it depends on where you are, really. I just feel like I have so much to lose, and what exactly do I stand to gain?”   
  
“You get to be honest, and you get to lose the weight on your shoulders from lying. It might not seem like much in comparison to what you can lose, but peace of mind is vastly underrated.”   
  
Eric nodded. “You’re right, of course, and it just means that I need to take a really hard look at what’s important to me.”   
  
“I guess you could prioritize it this way: do you prioritize your own safety net, or do you prioritize your future family? Because if you do lose everything, who’s to say you can’t build it all back up again? When you do, at least you do it honestly, and you’ll be happier with yourself, because you won’t have to lie. But if you keep lying, you can’t so easily start things over if you have a family. She might hate you forever, and your kid might hate you too. Might spend years hating you. No kid should grow up hating their parents.” Jinhwan knew that all too well.   
  
“I’d be ruining two other lives, at least, because what if we have more than one kid?”   
  
Jinhwan nodded. “But this is all worst case scenario. You never know, she might actually be happy about it.”   
  
Eric fixed him with a baffled expression. “Why would she be happy?”   
  
Jinhwan grinned back at him. “Well, you’ve said she’s not really super affectionate, right? There are people who aren’t even really attracted to anyone, they just like being close, but they don’t really want something romantic or physical. I mean you never know. She might have picked up on something, maybe she can sense that you’re not really into her, and maybe that’s what she wants.”   
  
Eric grinned and shook his head. “Everything works out just like a fairytale, right?”   
  
Jinhwan shrugged. “Hey, you’re doing yourself a disservice if you only imagine the worst. You need to put positive thoughts out there too. Because it is a possibility. Weirder things have happened.”   
  
“Ah, you’re right. I might get lucky. Thanks for the talk, honestly. I think I needed it more than I realized.”   
  
“I’m always available if you need to talk again, about anything. You helped me so much, you’re still helping me. I want to help you too if you need it, now that I can.”   
  
Eric reached for his hand again, squeezing it tightly. “I’ll remember that.”


	44. In The Eye pt. 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jinhwan and his mother talk about jiu jitsu. Junhoe and Yunhyeong talk about relationships. Hanbin and Bobby have a cute date and talk about themselves.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First things first—I added another chapter to the total chapter count, so it will now (probably) end at 48.
> 
> Second—enjoy this last little calm moment before things blow up next chapter. ;)

The right time came the following morning over breakfast. It was Christmas Eve, and when he’d gone to sleep the night before Jinhwan had felt certain that he was going to wait until after Christmas day to talk to his mother about his plans. But there was just something about the moment that compelled his thoughts to come out now. Everything felt peaceful, the energy felt right, like they would both be able to listen comfortably to each other.   
  
“Hey, mom? There’s something I need to talk to you about.”   
  
She looked at him over the table, and it was like she’d been expecting this, like she knew it was coming. “This isn’t about your father, is it?” He still hadn’t given her his final decision on that yet.   
  
He shook his head. “No. Well, it kind of is, in a way. It’s about jiu jitsu.” He waited for a moment, watched her expression. She wasn’t angry, didn’t immediately shut off the way she usually did when he tried to bring it up.   
  
Instead she just looked relieved. “Of course. I was wondering when you would bring it up.”   
  
He was surprised by her smile. “I was going to wait until after Christmas.”   
  
She reached over to pat his hand. “Let’s talk now. Your sister and I have talked about it recently. Well, it wasn’t exactly a pleasant conversation. It was mostly your sister yelling at me, and then we refused to speak to each other for a week.”   
  
Jinhwan stared at her in shock. Why hadn’t Seiyeon said anything to him? He didn’t have a chance to say anything before his mother carried on.   
  
“I want to apologize to you, for the way I’ve always treated it, and you. It’s difficult to explain, but I had my reasons for being angry, none of which were ever your fault, and I never should taken my feelings out on you.”   
  
“I understand,” Jinhwan cut in, because he didn’t just want to listen, he wanted her to believe that he understood. “It was grandpa, right? I know he blamed you for everything with dad.”   
  
She looked surprised. “How did you know that?”   
  
“Seiyeon told me, though I didn’t want to understand it at first. I didn’t care, I was hurt, and I was angry, and you were the easiest person for me to be angry at.” The surprised look on his mother’s face softened at his explanation.   
  
“Of course, your sister always wanted to tell you everything. That was part of our argument, she was angry with me for never talking to you about your grandfather, and what happened. I thought I was protecting you all of those years, but of course you figured it all out anyway.”   
  
Jinhwan felt relieved that they were talking so easily about it now, neither of them getting upset. It gave him hope that it was going to go well. “It took me a while, though. But that’s part of the reason why I don’t want to see dad. I made up my mind, and I won’t see him, not now, not for a while.” She nodded, accepting his decision with a bit of relief. “All along he should have been the person I was angry at, but I was angry at you instead. And that just made it easier for you to hold on to your own feelings.”   
  
“It did. Neither of us were willing to understand to one another.”   
  
“I don’t think it was that we weren’t able to. I think we just didn’t want to. Because if we did, then it would mean confronting what what had really happened, and then we’d both be hurt, thinking about how we let him ruin all of those years for us.” Jinhwan had thought about that last night after discussing the whole thing with Eric. He’d thought about their motivations for holding it all against each other instead of coming together.   
  
“Ah, you’re probably right about that. Still, though, I’m sorry for all of it. You were a child, and I was your mother, and I should have known better, I should have done more for you. I never should have let it go this long. I clung to what I could control, to what was  _ ours, _ the music. I didn’t want something that came from your grandfather to be such an important part of you. I felt betrayed.” Even with tears in her eyes, she looked relieved to say it out loud.   
  
Jinhwan was happy to hear her say it. Even though the feelings were obvious, there was a power in words, in hearing them spoken out loud. You couldn’t properly heal a wound until you broke it open and aired it out.   
  
“I know, and maybe if I’d understood how you felt sooner, I would have tried something different. Instead I just tried to force you to support me by making you feel guilty. And I know you’re going to say that I was a kid and I was hurt, but that doesn’t make it okay either. I’ve said a lot of hurtful things to you the past few years, and I’m sorry too.”   
  
His mother wiped a few tears from her eyes, and Jinhwan could feel his own threatening to spill out too. As nice as it felt to hear her make her own admissions, it felt equally as freeing for him to say everything that he was saying.   
  
“Well, I accept your apology for all the things you’ve said, and I appreciate your willingness to ask for that apology. It shows a great maturity that I wouldn’t have expected from you. I’m proud to witness it.”   
  
That made Jinhwan’s own tears start to spill. “I forgive you too, for not being there for me. But I want you to be there now. I need you to be there now. I want you to feel like this is something that’s part of  _ me, _ maybe I only started it because of grandpa, but it’s mine now, it’s an integral part of me. It’s important to who I am. I want to share it with you.” Jinhwan blinked back the tears in his eyes, and his heart felt a million times lighter now, asking her to finally be a part of his jiu jitsu life. He knew she’d say yes, could see it in her eyes that she  _ wanted _ to be there for him now.   
  
“Of course, sweetheart. Of course.” She rose out of her chair, and Jinhwan rose from his, and they wrapped their arms around each other tightly.   
  
Jinhwan couldn’t believe how easy it had been, how quick and simple the conversation had gone. Beyond that, though, was how suddenly it healed everything between them. All of the bitterness and anger and hurt feelings he’d kept bottled up towards his mother were gone, dissipated into the very air around him.   
  
It was the kind of forgiveness he was happy to give his mother, but one that his father didn’t deserve. He would gain nothing by forgiving him. But forgiving his mother gained him all of those years back. He’d remember the good parts and let the bad parts go, let them be forgotten.   
  
It took them a few minutes before they could stop crying, and when they did they just smiled at each other, grateful to finally put the issue to rest.   
  
“I love you, Jinhwan. I’m very proud of the man you’ve become. You’ve grown so much.”   
  
Jinhwan groaned at the comment, even though it was of course welcome. “I love you too. Thank you for everything you said.”   
  
“I know that’s not all, though. Seiyeon told me about your future plans. We need to talk about those.”   
  
Jinhwan nodded, and he felt hopeful for the first time that he’d get the answer he wanted. “Let’s go sit outside, okay?” They went to sit on the back patio again, and Jinhwan felt calmed looking at the ocean. Way on the other side of it was where he wanted to go, if she’d let him.   
  
“Before you get started, I just want to say that I can’t make any promises to you about any of this. I’m willing to listen, but I do have to be practical. I won’t shut anything down without giving you the opportunity to explain. That’s all I can promise.”   
  
That was enough.   
  
“As long as you listen, that’s all that matters. I’ve done the research, so I have it all ready.” He spent the next while explaining everything to her, about USCT, about how just because he wanted to go for jiu jitsu, it didn’t mean he was abandoning music. He told her about the scholarship opportunities, about the prestige of the school. He told her about Eric’s contacts, about the money he’s been saving from his own training.   
  
But most important was  _ why. _   
  
“I love music, and I love what it can do for people. But jiu jitsu isn’t just about fighting, even though the competition is a big part, and it is important to me. I train hard, and I feel good when I win matches, because they’re not easy. It’s a big test of myself, constantly testing, constantly learning new things. If I hadn’t gotten into it, I know I’d be a different person today. Jiu jitsu made me confident in myself, it made me believe in myself in a way I hadn’t been able to. And now, when I train the kids at my club, it reminds me of myself. A lot of them are like new little versions of me, they’re weak little kids who get pushed around, some of them get bullied. And I remember what that was like.”   
  
His mother teared up again, because she remembered too. She remembered the phone calls home when he’d first moved, the pleas to let him go home again.   
  
“At first I was content enough when I met Bobby, and he acted like my bodyguard, he’d always keep guys from bugging me. But when I learned how to stand up for myself, I’d never felt better. And I want to do that for other kids, I want to be that person that makes them realize that they don’t need someone else to protect them. That if they work hard and believe in themselves, they can learn how to protect themselves, and maybe they can even protect other people. It’s the best feeling, honestly, to have some kid that I’ve been training come running up to me, telling me about how that bully that’s been bothering them at school doesn’t bother them anymore. How they have friends now, because they finally felt confident enough to show other kids what they’re like. I love music, mom, but I can’t help anyone with music. And I want to help people. That’s why I want to do this.”   
  
His explanation had her crying again, but they were proud tears, because she thought his reason was beautiful. “Alright. I can see how much this means to you, and I’m touched by everything about it. But I can’t commit to anything now. You and I need to sit down and really look over the logistics of everything, okay? This is a big financial undertaking, so I can’t just agree to it without knowing everything.”   
  
Jinhwan bit his cheek to keep from crying. She hadn’t said no. He hadn’t expected a yes right away anyway, because his mother was more responsible than that. But she was willing to look into it, willing to make it work if possible. That was all he’d wanted.   
  
“Okay, I have a lot of stuff put together already.”   
  
She smiled at him and reached over to take his hand. “Let’s look at it after Christmas, okay? We’ll sit down together, you and I, for a whole day and look into the full logistics. And if it works out, then we’ll go for it. But you have to promise me that you’ll work as hard as you can. It’ll be difficult for you, being on your own. You’ve never been alone before.”   
  
“I know. Honestly I’m kind of scared, I’ll have to leave everyone.” It felt good to admit the fear to his mother, and she slid closer to him, patted his cheek and squeezed his hand.   
  
“You can do it, though. You’re strong, sweetheart.”   
  
He nodded. “I know it’s stupid to be upset over this, there are so many people who go through worse things in their life. And here I am, afraid because I have to leave my friends.”   
  
“Oh baby, there will always be someone somewhere who has it worse than you. Don’t ever let that diminish your own feelings, though. You’re allowed to be afraid, and you’re allowed to be sad about leaving people behind. Don’t feel guilty about feeling bad just because someone has it worse. Just work harder, so the suffering is worth it in the end.”   
  
Her words were comforting, and he stored them away. “Thanks, mom. I have to do it, though, I’ll be disappointed in myself if I don’t try.”   
  
They stay together, watching gulls circling over the ocean. They stay there until Seiyeon joins them, and then the crying starts all over again when she hears the news.   
  


* * *

  
“So, remember a while back, when I told you about the whole friends with benefits things?” Junhoe asked, picking nervously at his jeans. He was out with Yunhyeong, having a coffee at a cafe. He’d been thinking non-stop about he and Jinhwan over Christmas (partially because he’d hung out a few times with Hanbin and Bobby, and watching them be disgusting with each other had gotten him thinking about Jinhwan) and he needed to talk to someone outside of his immediate circle about it. Yunhyeong still didn’t know  _ who _ the friend was, after all.   
  
“Yeah, what about it?” Yunhyeong tried not to sound too excited, but in reality he was hoping that Junhoe was finally going to admit it to him. He knew it was Jinhwan, it couldn’t possibly be anyone else.   
  
“Well, what happens when it’s not casual anymore? Like, maybe one person wants it to be something more. Do you think that’s a good idea?”   
  
Yunhyeong stared at him in shock for a moment. Had Junhoe fallen for Jinhwan? He probably wouldn’t admit it if he straight out asked him, because Junhoe liked to be evasive, but he wouldn’t be asking if it were Jinhwan interested in him. “Well, how does the other person feel?”   
  
“The other person doesn’t know,” Junhoe replied, “like, should the interested party say something? And how? Because, like, you made a pact to not get that interested. But then you did. What if it ruins everything? Maybe you just shouldn’t say anything and keep enjoying what you’re doing. What would you do?”   
  
Yunhyeong took a sip of his coffee just to buy himself some time. On one hand, he was tempted to tease Junhoe, just for fun. Maybe he should be serious, though. Junhoe had gone out of his way to call him to hang out, after all. If he wasn’t asking his friends for advice, Yunhyeong probably shouldn’t fuck with him right now.   
  
“What would I do if I were the interested party, right?” He asked, and Junhoe nodded. Just to be sure it  _ was _ Junhoe who had the feelings. “Well, I guess I’d have to really look at the whole situation. Was there a reason why it wasn’t going to be serious at first? I’d try to think about the other person, about why they might not want to get serious.”   
  
“Okay, so you do that, and you think they probably only said that because they didn’t want any drama in your group of friends. That’s the only thing you can think of that would make any sense. Because it feels like they’re super into you.” Junhoe was so desperate for some advice that he wasn’t really doing his best to try and hide his situation.   
  
“How do you know they’re super into you? Do you know them well enough to be sure about that? How do you know you’re not wrong?”   
  
Junhoe shrugged. “Well, you can tell how different they act now compared to how they acted at first. It just  _ feels _ like you’re actually dating instead of just messing around.”   
  
“Well, if I was that sure, I’d probably talk to them about it. Tell them that I think that there’s something there between us, and that we should talk about it. I wouldn’t demand that anything changes, but I’d ask them what they thought.”   
  
Junhoe nodded and was quiet for a moment, seeming to contemplate the answer. “That’s what I was thinking. Like, I won’t say that we should for sure change things, but that it already feels different. I just don’t know how I’d react if I told him, and then he said he didn’t want to actually date me.” Junhoe paused to take a sip of his coffee, and when his eyes met Yunhyeong’s they widened in a brief panic and he almost spat his coffee out. “I mean,  _ if _ I were the one in that position. I’m not saying that I am. Just trying to think of everyone involved, you know?”   
  
Yunhyeong had the hardest time not teasing him. He was swayed only by the fact that Junhoe was trusting him enough to talk to about this. He didn’t want to disrupt that trust by laughing at him. So he ignored Junhoe’s frantic attempt at denying his involvement. “I guess, if I were worried about their response, I’d have to really think about what’s important to me. Because they might say they don’t want to date me, and they might say we can still do the casual thing, but I’m sure it would change how they feel. It might make the other person awkward. So I’d have to decide what’s more important to me: taking a chance at a real relationship, or just preserving what’s already there so it doesn’t get spoiled.”   
  
“But how do you figure that out? How do you decide what’s more important?” That was the crux of Junhoe’s problem. He didn’t want to ruin what he already had, because even though he probably wouldn’t admit it to anyone, he’d be devastated if he messed things up. He’d rather half-date Jinhwan than take a chance and be rejected. But on the other hand, he’d never wanted to be in a relationship with anyone so bad before. He wanted to bring Jinhwan home and introduce him to his family as his  _ boyfriend, _ and not just his friend. He wanted to be part of that extended family with Bobby’s parents, he wanted Bobby’s mom to treat him the way she treated Hanbin.   
  
He just wanted  _ everything. _ Jinhwan had to want that too, didn’t he? He couldn’t possibly be content with what they were doing. Unless he just didn’t like him  _ that _ much.   
  
Yunhyeong wasn’t really sure what to say. He  _ kind of _ was in a similar situation right now, but it was different, he still understood about wanting something he wasn’t sure he could have. But how do you decide what’s really the best option? Love had the ability to mess so many things up. “Honestly, I don’t know. I guess you just have to take a chance. If nothing good comes of it, then it was never meant to be. It’ll suck, but what else can you do? You can’t stay in a situation where you’re only half happy. That’s not fair to yourself.”   
  
Junhoe sighed and took another sip of his coffee. Yunhyeong was right, of course. If he wanted something with Jinhwan, he just had to reach out and grab for it himself. He wasn’t being fair to himself by just sitting around and waiting for Jinhwan to realize he had feelings for him. Maybe there were no feelings, and he was just projecting his own, looking for evidence that didn’t actually exist. But maybe he wasn’t just seeing things. Maybe he was right, and maybe Jinhwan just needed a push. “I guess you’re right, hyung. Life is all about taking chances, right?”   
  
Yunhyeong thought again about his own situation. “Yeah, you’re right. If you never take the chance, you’ll never know. Maybe it’s a safer way to live, but it’s probably not as happy.”   
  
Junhoe nodded and played with his coffee cup, thinking about Yunhyeong’s words.  _ Safer, but not as happy. _ What was the point in being safe if you weren’t happy?   
  
Yunhyeong took a sip of his coffee, thinking about his words too. A few days ago during his last tutoring session with Junhoe, Hanbin and Donghyuk had just  _ conveniently _ happened to show up when it was ending, with food. Yunhyeong had tried to leave, but the look of disappointment on their faces (Donghyuk’s in particular) had made him stay.   
  
It was weird. For the longest time he’d thought there was something wrong with him, because he hadn’t ever liked  _ anyone. _ Not just wanting to date, because he was busy with school, but unlike every single one of his friends he’d never even had a crush on a celebrity. He’d talked to his grandmother about it, and she’d told him that it was probably just because there was one special person for him out there, and his heart didn’t want him to waste his time on anyone else.   
  
He’d thought it was ridiculous. It was kind of comforting at times, thinking that maybe the whole concept of soul mates was true, that one day he’d meet that one person and he’d just  _ know _ that was who he was meant to be with. Two years he’d thought about it, wondered if there was any truth. Two years of watching friends date, of listening to friends talk in obsessive detail about girls they liked. Two years he’d faked interest, just so no one thought he was weird.   
  
And then that one day happened and suddenly his grandmother’s stories didn’t seem so crazy. The only problem, though, was that it wasn’t some pretty girl his heart was convulsing over. It wasn’t some beautiful girl that his mother would fawn over and welcome with open arms.  
  
It wasn’t even a girl.

It was a boy.   
  
It was Donghyuk.   
  
They’d exchanged phone numbers under the guise of talking about common interests. And they had been texting ever since, a lot, daily conversations about anything and everything. Every message made his heart race.   
  
How was he supposed to do anything about it, though? A lot of his friends outright hated gay people, and the other half never really went out of their way to stick up for anyone in the gay community. Would he lose everyone if he followed his heart? It would be so much easier if he wasn’t in school anymore. If all he had to do was go to work and then come home to him. But they were at the same school. He didn’t want to hide anything, but there was no way he’d be able to be gay at school. No way.   
  
He was pretty sure that Donghyuk liked him back, though, and that was the problem. If the crush was only one sided, he wouldn’t be as confused, wouldn’t feel as bad. He could afford to take his time. But he knew that the more he talked to Donghyuk, the stronger Donghyuk’s feelings were probably getting. He knew because he’d been paying attention to it for a while, now, and Donghyuk kept getting more and more open about his interest.   
  
Was it right of him to do what he was doing if he wasn’t sure that anything could ever come of it? Wasn’t he just leading him on?   
  
As Yunhyeong got lost in his own thoughts about Donghyuk, Junhoe convinced himself that when Jinhwan came back from Jeju, he’d tell him how he felt. Because he deserved to be happy, and he wouldn’t be happy unless they were dating. It was still daunting, though, because he was afraid that Jinhwan would say no. Maybe Jinhwan would even make fun of him, would say that he was a cute inexperienced kid who fell for the first person he was with. Junhoe didn’t think he’d be able to live it down if Jinhwan laughed at him.   
  
He finished his coffee and looked at Yunhyeong, noticing that he seemed to be off in his own thoughts. Junhoe wondered if he ought to press him about Donghyuk. He knew they were texting each other constantly (because Donghyuk had told him about it) but he was still worried that Donghyuk was getting too attached to someone who might not return his feelings. And Junhoe was so full of fear for himself that he wanted to protect Donghyuk from the same thing.   
  
“Hey hyung, how are things with you lately, anyway? I don’t think I’ve ever heard you talk about anyone you were interested in. Are you seeing anyone right now?” Best to start off simple and not get specific.   
  
Yunhyeong was jolted by Junhoe’s question. “No, there’s no one. Why are you asking so suddenly?”   
  
Junhoe’s expression was one of intrigue at the way Yunhyeong answered, all defensively, like he had something to hide. “Are you sure?”   
  
Yunhyeong gulped his coffee to try and relax a bit at the question. “Yeah, of course. I thought we were here to talk about you? You never ask about me.”   
  
Junhoe frowned—okay so Yunhyeong had a point. But still. “Maybe this isn’t any of my business, but I know you and Donghyuk have been texting each other all the time lately.” Yunhyeong’s face went red, and Junhoe knew he’d hit the nail on the head. “He might kill me for saying this, but you know he likes you a lot, right?”   
  
Yunhyeong nodded, refusing to look Junhoe in the eyes. “Yeah I know. We’re just friends, Junhoe-ya.”   
  
“I’m just worried about him, okay? I understand if you don’t want to talk about it to me, but I don’t want him to get hurt. So if you don’t like him the same way that he likes you, just promise me that you’ll be honest with him.” Yunhyeong was blushing even harder and staring at the ground, and Junhoe wondered what it meant. Hanbin would probably say it was definite proof that he liked Donghyuk. But Junhoe had known Yunhyeong longer and he spoke to him more often. Yunhyeong was a fairly private person as far as he knew. It was hard to gauge what his reactions meant.   
  
Yunhyeong wasn’t sure if his heart was beating so hard because of the sudden question from Junhoe or if it was because he’d just downed his whole cup of coffee. But he felt panicked, like he wasn’t ready to talk about any of this yet. It was too sudden, he felt too vulnerable.   
  
Junhoe felt a little bad for almost seeming to attack him about Donghyuk, and maybe he’d only done it because his own constant worrying and insecurity had him projecting onto someone else’s potential relationship. If it turned out that Jinhwan didn’t want to date him, then Junhoe knew he’d want to hop in a time machine to travel backwards and stop himself from ever starting it. He didn’t want the same thing to happen to Donghyuk.   
  
“I know that whatever you want, hyung, Donghyuk will still want to be your friend. I’m just asking you, as a friend, to please make sure you’re honest with him. Don’t string him along if you aren’t interested. Just tell him so he knows.”   
  
Yunhyeong took a deep breath and forced himself into calming down. He was just flipping out because he didn’t want  _ anyone _ to know that he was questioning his sexuality. In all honesty it would be okay if Junhoe knew, because Junhoe was gay and he’d gone through a period of ostracization himself. It was just everyone  _ else _ that was a potential threat.   
  
“I, uh, I promise that I’ll be upfront with him, okay? We’re just talking as friends right now, so don’t worry about anything. He’s a good person, I promise I won’t hurt him.” The idea of hurting Donghyuk made Yunhyeong’s heart ache. He’d be careful, and he’d be honest. It was what Donghyuk deserved.   
  


* * *

  
“Which one do you want? We’re not gonna leave until I win you one of these.”   
  
Hanbin looked around at the various claw machines, grinning at Bobby’s statement. “Maybe go for the unicorn one?”   
  
Bobby looked at him curiously. “Out of everything here, you want a unicorn?”   
  
Hanbin grinned sheepishly back at him. “Well, I know you’re winning it for me, but if I show up at home with a stuffed toy, Hanbyul’s gonna think it’s for her.”   
  
“Tell her it’s yours!” Bobby replied.   
  
“You don’t understand little kids, hyung, she’s at the stage where she can’t help but think everything is hers.” Hanbin laughed when Bobby just shook his head and looked around again.   
  
“Okay, how about I win one for both of you? This way you can keep one, and then give her one.”   
  
Hanbin nodded and looked around again at the machines. “Deal! If you can actually win two, of course.”   
  
“Don’t you worry, I’m good at these games.”   
  
Hanbin grabbed Bobby’s hand and pulled him over to another machine. “This is perfect, actually. You can win me a Mickey Mouse, and then get a Minnie for Hanbyul. She’ll be even happier that they match.”   
  
Bobby sighed and resigned himself to the task ahead. He was pretty good at claw machine games, it usually didn’t take him long to win anything. Granted he never really tried to win anything in specific. He hoped his confidence wouldn’t be his downfall.   
  
There was currently a couple using the machine who looked close to their age, but neither of them recognized the pair. The guy was trying to win a Minnie Mouse for his girlfriend, but wasn’t having much luck. They stood by quietly, waiting for him to finish. Bobby's eyes followed the claw, and he was busy counting how much time there was before the claw descended. There was a way to win at these machines, but you had to pay attention.   
  
Hanbin, however, noticed the girl looking at them with narrowed eyes, but she didn’t say anything and instead whined when her boyfriend lost on his last try. The boyfriend pronounced that the game was cursed, and then his eyes caught sight of Hanbin and Bobby as well. His face scrunched in disgust and he made a comment to his girlfriend, who looked at them again.   
  
Hanbin just smiled back at them and hoped that Bobby wasn’t going to say anything. Sometimes he enjoyed engaging with hateful strangers, but sometimes he preferred ignoring them instead.   
  
“Hey hyung, make sure you win both of them, okay?” He looked at Bobby, who had also been eyeing the other pair.   
  
“So we can rub it in their faces?” Bobby asked, grinning at Hanbin.   
  
“Absolutely.” Hanbin leaned in to kiss him on the cheek, which elicited a huff of disgust from the other couple.   
  
Undeterred Bobby approached the machine, nodding to the other guy. “Tough luck before, these machines are terrible, aren’t they?” He faked a polite greeting, grinning when he saw Hanbin smiling at it. He fed some coins in and sent a quick prayer to God that he could manage to win a prize on his first turn. Maybe it was a little malicious, but he liked to think that God would support him in this instance.   
  
Hanbin stood next to him and hugged him, resting his chin on Bobby’s shoulder. He knew the other couple was still there watching them, and he watched as Bobby took control of the claw, carefully guiding it over a stuffed Mickey Mouse.   
  
Bobby held his breath as he positioned the claw. It shouldn’t be too hard, since the machine had a four pronged claw and it wasn’t too tightly packed. When the claw had two prongs above the arms and two below, he pressed the button and watched as the claw dropped, closing around the Mickey plush exactly where he’d wanted it. He still watched the claw as it carried the toy over, pleased to see that it remained closed tightly. Some machines had claws with very weak grasps, and it was impossible to win with those.   
  
The Mickey dropped into the prize bin and Bobby grinned to himself while Hanbin clapped (over-enthusiastically, of course). He went to collect the toy and grinned when he saw the scowling faces of the other couple. He handed the mouse to Hanbin, who slid a hand around the back of his neck and pulled him in for an open-mouthed kiss. They usually weren’t so explicit with their kissing out in public, but Bobby knew he was doing it to add extra insult to injury.   
  
The couple was gone when they finished the kiss, and Bobby laughed at the whole thing. It felt good to show assholes up.   
  
“Alright, let me win the Minnie, it should be easy.”   
  
Hanbin watched him again, hugging the Mickey to his chest. “Is there some secret to this?”   
  
“Of course there is,” Bobby replied, “but I’m not telling you.”   
  
“What do you mean?” Hanbin whined, watching as Bobby won the Minnie on his first try.   
  
Bobby fished the Minnie Mouse out the bin and handed it to Hanbin. “Because I’m your boyfriend, and it’s my job to win you prizes at the arcade.”   
  
Hanbin tucked it under his arm next to Mickey. “Well, I’m  _ your _ boyfriend, so shouldn’t I be winning you prizes too?”   
  
“Nope,” Bobby replied, pecking a kiss on Hanbin’s nose, “I’m older, so that responsibility is still mine.”   
  
Hanbin shook his head and pretended to be annoyed. He didn’t mind, really. He liked the idea of Bobby wanting to win him things, thought it was cute. He looked down at the toys, grateful he was so willing to win one for Hanbyul as well. It was important to Hanbin that Bobby really valued making his sister happy too.   
  
“You ready to go?”   
  
Hanbin looked back up at him and nodded. “We going back home, or did you want to do something else?”   
  
“You hungry? I was thinking maybe we could get some snacks or something.”   
  
“Yeah let’s go get something to eat, I have a craving for hotteok.” They left the arcade holding hands, and Hanbin looked up at the clear night sky when they got outside, always feeling good when he could make out a few stars in the darkness. They walked a few streets over to the food vendors, and it was such a nice night that Hanbin didn’t even notice many people looking at them. Sometimes strangers on the street were all scowls when they saw them, but there were those times when everyone seemed so happily caught up in their own lives that they overlooked them.   
  
Hanbin knew exactly where the hotteok vendor was, and he smiled as he approached her. He and Junhoe had bought hotteok from her numerous times over the years that she recognized them, but this was the first time he was coming by with Bobby.   
  
She smiled at him though, not batting an eye when she took in the hand holding.   
  
“Hanbin-ah! Where is your loud friend tonight? Replaced him with someone better?” She teased him, flipping two pancakes onto the grill.   
  
“I’m going to tell him you called him my loud friend, he’ll be annoyed.” Hanbin joked back, before pulling Bobby closer. “This is my boyfriend, Bobby.”   
  
She looked him over, giving him a critical look. _"B_ _ oyfriend, _ huh? Does he treat you well?”   
  
Hanbin showed off the stuffed toys he was holding. “Of course he does, look at the Mickey he won me at the arcade! On the first try, too.”   
  
She nodded, flipping the pancakes over. “Very good, very good. Those claw games are hard to master.”   
  
“Ah, they’re nothing, I’m a pro.” Bobby replied, grinning when she smiled at him.   
  
“Well, this boy is very special, so you had better keep winning him things so he doesn’t leave you,” she teased, before bagging the snacks and handing them over.   
  
“You hear that, hyung? Treat me well,” Hanbin teased, paying for the pancakes and reaching out to take them.   
  
“I promise I will treat him well,” Bobby replied, amused that Hanbin had such a cute relationship with the street vendor. He took his pancake and they said their goodbyes, weaving their way back into the crowd. Hanbin needed his hand to eat his food, so Bobby put his arm around Hanbin’s shoulders instead, because it was nice to walk around in public and not have to hide anything.   
  
When they finished the pancakes they got hot chocolates from a cafe and continued down to the river, finding a bench to sit on. Hanbin kept the toys on his lap as he cuddled up against Bobby. It was a little chilly out, cold enough to make you want to cuddle together to keep warm, and the hot chocolate helped. It was just nice to be outside in the fresh air, looking up at the moon.   
  
“I wanted to ask you if you could come back to church with me at some point.” Bobby had been meaning to bring it up all night, but hadn’t really felt like the moment was right until now. It’s not that he thought Hanbin would say no, but he didn’t want him to feel like he had to.   
  
“Yeah, sure. If you want me to, I’ll go with you.” Hanbin really didn’t mind going. The first time had been stressful, but only because of all the surrounding circumstances.   
  
Bobby nodded. “It’s just that my pastor knows, about us dating. Turns out that my grandmother actually  _ was _ telling him about us when we went last time.”   
  
“What?” Hanbin looked at him in surprise. “He knows you’re gay?”   
  
“Yeah, apparently my mom told him as soon as I came out.” He still hadn’t talked to his mom about that yet, because it felt like an awkward conversation to have. But he was happy he didn’t have to hide it in church anymore.   
  
“Really? And she never told you that she told him?” Hanbin was surprised, but he figured that she must have had her reasons.   
  
“Yeah, I guess she had a harder time when I came out than I knew she was having. She talked to him about it so she could find peace about it. Now he wants to meet you properly.”   
  
Hanbin was touched by the request. “Does he know I’m not really religious?” He didn’t want to lie for the sake of his relationship.   
  
“Yeah, I told him. He said it’s okay. It’s between you and God, so he won’t be preachy or anything. I think he just wants you to feel welcome.”   
  
Hanbin smiled and leaned his head on Bobby’s shoulder. “That’s actually really nice of him. Surprising, but nice.”   
  
“It’s important to me, I was afraid of him finding out for so long. I thought I’d be kicked out or something.” Bobby tightened his arm around Hanbin’s shoulders and kissed the top of his head.   
  
“I’m happy he said something to you, that must have been such a huge relief.” Hanbin tilted his head up to catch Bobby’s eye, and he could see the relief in his expression.   
  
“Yeah, it was. Everything is just, I don’t know, it’s just all coming together so perfect, you know? I hope you don’t laugh, but, I really just feel like you and me? We’re meant to be together.” Bobby felt a little dorky for saying it out loud, but he truly believed it. Things happened for a reason, and Hanbin came into his life seemingly by chance, only for it to be no chance at all. Instead he thought it was a gift.   
  
“Why would I laugh at that?” Hanbin asked, only to laugh at his own question. “I hope you’re right. There’s no one I’d rather be with.” He kissed Bobby’s chin, and Bobby smiled down at him.   
  
This was exactly where he was meant to be, in love with Hanbin. Everything else would sort itself out.


	45. The Storm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jinhwan tells everyone about his plans.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fair warning: this is gonna get angsty. Well, maybe? Maybe people might surprise you? Maybe not. ;)

Jinhwan had originally planned to tell everyone about California together—Bobby’s reaction would be calmer with Hanbin there, and he’d hoped that having an audience would keep Junhoe from blowing up as well. But Hanbin was stuck at home taking care of a sick Hanbyul while his parents were at a work function, and Jinhwan thought it would feel weird telling Junhoe and Bobby together without him, so he’d settled on Junhoe first, because it was his reaction that Jinhwan worried about the most. He knew Bobby was going to be upset with him, but Bobby’s anger wouldn’t last more than a night, probably. It would be infinitely harder to tell Junhoe if he was already upset over telling Bobby.   
  
So he’d made early afternoon plans with Junhoe, and he was trying to figure out how to bring it up.   
  
Junhoe, however, had his own agenda.   
  
“I know you said you had something you wanted to tell me, hyung, but so do I, and if I don’t do this now I probably won’t even pay attention to whatever it is you want to tell me.” Junhoe was firm in his resolve to tell Jinhwan how he felt right away, before he lost his nerve. After spending the past week looking at it from every angle he’d decided to go for it. The idea of being around Jinhwan but not  _ dating _ would drive him crazy. He had to take the chance.   
  
Jinhwan frowned, because he was afraid of what Junhoe might be trying to tell him. Maybe it wasn’t about them, though. They hadn’t really talked for a week aside from a few messages, obligatory holiday greetings. But what if Junhoe had been so silent because he’d been thinking about them? Jinhwan really didn’t want to have to tell him after hearing Junhoe confess feelings to him. But that might not be what he was doing. And Junhoe really wouldn’t pay as much attention as he needed to if he had something on his mind already.   
  
Jinhwan nodded. “Okay, you go first.”   
  
Junhoe took a breath to steel himself before launching into his carefully planned explanation. Jinhwan would  _ have _ to see that he was right after this. He just had to.   
  
“I know, when we started this thing between us, that it was just supposed to be a casual thing. I know we agreed to that. And that was fine at first, I was happy to do that, it worked out really well, and honestly it was probably better that we did it that way first because I know that I can get ridiculous at times. If it had been anything more at first I probably would have just pissed you off and we’d have hated each other after two weeks.”   
  
Jinhwan’s heart dropped into his stomach as he listened.  _ No no no, this was exactly what he was afraid of, this was exactly what he’d been hoping to get in front of! _   
  
“But I think we should reevaluate things. I don’t know what your reasons were for wanting it to stay casual, but I’m guessing it was just because you didn’t want us to screw things up for Hanbin and Bobby, and I get that, it was thoughtful. But I think we’re safe now, right?” Junhoe paused, trying to judge the expression on Jinhwan’s face. He looked surprised, but not upset. Not exactly happy either, but Junhoe decided to just chalk that up to shock.   
  
Junhoe really wasn’t good at confessing things, and he had to force himself to meet Jinhwan’s eyes. “Hyung, I really like you, a lot. I’ve never actually liked anyone before. Not the way I like you. I mean, I  _ more _ than just  _ like _ you, you know. And I feel like,” Junhoe paused in his rambling then, still slightly unnerved that Jinhwan wasn’t having the happy reaction he’d been expecting, “I feel like you like me too, that way. I’m not wrong, am I?”   
  
Jinhwan just stared at him with a stunned expression. This was starting out wrong. He could hear the emotion in Junhoe’s voice, the hope and determination, and Jinhwan knew that no matter what he chose to say, he was going to crush it. He could lie, and say that he didn’t have the same strong feelings for Junhoe, but he’d still end up hurt in the end when he told him he was leaving.   
  
Jinhwan didn’t want to lie, though. Maybe it was selfish, but he wanted Junhoe to know that he felt the same way, because  _ maybe, _ by some minute chance,  _ maybe _ Junhoe might not have the terrible reaction Jinhwan was anticipating. Maybe he’d be open to some kind of resolution.   
  
Anything was possible.   
  
“No, Junhoe, you’re not wrong.”   
  
Junhoe wasn’t sure what to do with Jinhwan’s response. It was an admission of his feelings, the  _ same _ feelings he himself had for Jinhwan. That should mean they ought to be happy to actually date each other, right? So why did Jinhwan look like he was heartbroken?   
  
“Hyung, that’s good, isn’t it? We both like each other, we both feel the same way.”   
  
Jinhwan couldn’t answer him because his throat felt too thick with emotion, his lips sewed shut out of fear.   
  
“Hyung, why don’t you look happy? What’s wrong? I thought, if we talked and we agreed, I thought, you know, I thought everything would be okay…” Junhoe was confused, more confused than he’d ever felt in his life.   
  
What the fuck was the problem? Jinhwan should be smiling right now, they should be kissing,  _ really _ kissing, for the first time, as  _ boyfriends. _   
  
Why wasn’t he smiling?   
  
“Junhoe, I’m moving.” Jinhwan barely choked the words out. “That’s what I wanted to tell you.”   
  
Junhoe’s face dropped for a few seconds before he recovered. “What, back to Jeju? That’s not, well that’s not that bad.”   
  
Jinhwan shook his head. If only it was Jeju. “California.”   
  
Junhoe felt like the ground had opened up beneath him, he felt like he’d lost his footing and was tumbling headfirst into, what, a pit of lava? A pit of spikes? Poisonous vipers, waiting to to rip into his skin? “Wait,  _ California? _ Why are you going there?” What the fuck was in  _ California _ that Jinhwan couldn’t get in Korea?   
  
“Jiu jitsu,” Jinhwan replied, barely able to talk, “I’m going to train with Rener Gracie.”   
  
Comprehension dawned sudden and violent on Junhoe’s face, twisting his expression into something ugly. “This is why you didn’t want us to date,” Junhoe said, his voice oddly calm, like he was suppressing a great rage, “this is why you wanted it casual, isn’t it?” Jinhwan nodded, but Junhoe wasn’t done talking yet. “You  _ knew, _ didn’t you? When you suggested it, you knew you were leaving.”   
  
Jinhwan nodded again. “I didn’t know for sure, but I knew that I wanted to.”   
  
“You knew and you  _ didn’t tell me?” _ Junhoe could barely think straight for the anger and hurt. All the weeks of wondering  _ why _ Jinhwan didn’t want to date him, all the times he’d contemplated the possible reasons why he wasn’t enough for Jinhwan, and it had never actually been about him at all.   
  
“I didn’t know for sure,” Jinhwan tried to explain, his mouth dry, it was hard to breathe. “I couldn’t do it without my mom’s support, and I didn’t talk to her about it until now—”   
  
“You could have told me!” Junhoe yelled at him, the dam bursting finally. “You still could have told me that was the reason!”   
  
“I’m sorry, okay, I didn’t want—”   
  
Junhoe cut him off. “I don’t care what you want, I don’t fucking care! You should have told me, at the beginning, so I wouldn’t have wasted my time!”   
  
Jinhwan’s eyes were tearing up already. This was exactly what he’d been afraid of, Junhoe blowing up and taking it harshly. The worst part, though, was that Junhoe was right. He should have told him. He should have told everyone. “I’m sorry—”   
  
Junhoe cut him off again, not in the mood to listen to anyone right now. “You know, for the past damn month, longer actually, I kept wondering, I kept thinking to myself, why doesn’t Jinhwan want to date me? What’s wrong with me? What about me doesn’t he like? I thought I was just too immature, maybe you thought I was too annoying, I was too loud. But I’m not, am I?” Junhoe paused finally, looking at Jinhwan in expectation of an answer.   
  
Jinhwan shook his head. “No, you’re not. You’re not any of those things.” Maybe he should have lied. Maybe he should have told Junhoe that he just wasn’t that into him. Maybe it would have hurt him less.   
  
“You made me feel like shit for weeks, because I thought there was something wrong with me. Instead it was you, it was just you lying to me.” Junhoe took a long shuddering breath, barely able to keep those stupid damn tears in the corners of his eyes at bay. This was bullshit. Everything about it was bullshit.   
  
Jinhwan knew he deserved it all. He’d had his reasons for keeping it to himself, of course, but he could have gone about it differently, or he could have cut it off when he knew feelings were getting involved.   
  
“I’m sorry, honestly, there’s nothing wrong with you, and if I wasn’t leaving, I’d have asked you out officially like, a week into things. I really like you, Junhoe-ya, I’m really sorry I never told you.”   
  
Junhoe shook his head, his fingers flexing like he wanted to reach out and strangle Jinhwan. “Fucking keep it, okay? Keep your bullshit lines about how much you like me, I don’t want to hear it.”   
  
“Junhoe-ya, please—”   
  
“Why didn’t you just lie to me?” Junhoe asked, his voice breaking suddenly. “I wish you’d just lied to me, and told me that you didn’t like me that much. That would have been easier.” God, why had he said that? Why was he giving Jinhwan that kind of ammunition, proof about how deep the wound was cutting him?   
  
Jinhwan couldn’t even say anything in response. He should have lied. If he’d been thinking about Junhoe’s feelings, he would have lied, wouldn’t he? Because as much as he’d been hoping for something unexpectedly positive, he knew it was going to end this way. With Junhoe angry and hurt and disappointed.   
  
Jinhwan knew  _ exactly _ how bad it hurt to hear exactly what he’d said to Junhoe, because it was the same thing that had happened to him with Eric, wasn’t it? Eric had told him the truth, but he’d also told him that if it wasn’t for his family, he’d keep things going. But the confession had been more for Eric’s comfort than his own, and Jinhwan had cried every day for weeks. Nothing stung more than the idea that he was both  _ enough _ yet  _ not enough _ .   
  
He should have known better than to expect Junhoe to take it any better than he’d taken it. Instead he’d been too focused on himself, too focused on how to minimize the damage if everything went better than expected.  _ Selfish. _   
  
Junhoe wasn’t sure what he was waiting for, if anything. But the longer they stood there, the longer Jinhwan stood there and said nothing, the angrier Junhoe felt.   
  
It could have been so good, but Jinhwan had fucked it up, all of it. Junhoe would never forgive him for ruining his first love.   
  
“Thanks for all the  _ training, _ hyung, but we’re done. I don’t even want to see you anymore.” He turned and fled the scene, longing in his heart for Jinhwan to run behind him and beg him not to go, to stay so they could talk things out. But that longing was only met with fresh anger at himself for even wanting it.   
  
Jinhwan had  _ hurt _ him, deeply. He didn’t deserve shit, he especially didn’t deserve Junhoe’s desperate desire to try and fix things. He didn’t deserve all the love that was still there in Junhoe’s heart, that had been ready to be expressed properly. He didn’t deserve it.   
  
Jinhwan just stood rooted to the spot, watching him go, helpless to stop him. It had gone even worse than he’d expected, to be honest. He’d known Junhoe would be upset, but he hadn’t expected him to storm off like that without giving him a chance to really talk about it.   
  
Had he expected too much? Had he underestimated the depth of Junhoe’s feelings for him? Clearly.   
  
He took his phone out of his jacket pocket, staring at the screen. It was a picture of the four of them, he and Junhoe and Hanbin and Bobby.   
  
God, he’d just fucked their group up, hadn’t he?   
  
He’d have fucked it up even if nothing had been going on with Junhoe, though, if they’d only stayed as friends, if he hadn’t gone and gotten selfish. It was like destiny. He’d been destined to fuck things up for the people he cared about the most. He’d gotten his mom back, but was he going to have to sacrifice his friends for it? He opened his messenger app and started typing.   
  
_ -junhoe im sorry u probably dont wanna hear from me i know but im sorry- _ _   
_ _ -im sorry for hurting u i should have told u- _   
  
He wanted to keep writing, wanted to keep sending messages until Junhoe replied. But that wasn’t how Junhoe worked, he knew that. Junhoe would retreat, probably to Hanbin, and then he’d delete Jinhwan and block him everywhere.   
  
It was all his own fault. But that didn’t make it any easier to accept.   
  


* * *

  
By the time Junhoe made it to Hanbin’s he’d blocked Jinhwan’s number and deleted him from his messenger apps. He deleted all the pictures on his phone (almost all, he  _ forgot _ an old one, from when they went to the orchestra concert together).   
  
He knew Hanbin was at home, watching Hanbyul, so he hadn’t bothered to ask him if he could come over. He just showed up and rang Hanbin from the lobby, gruffly demanded to be let in. Two minutes later he walked into Hanbin’s apartment, kicking his shoes off at the door, throwing his jacket down on top of them. Hanbin was on the couch, a textbook in his lap. It annoyed Junhoe.   
  
“What the fuck are you studying for, we’re not back to school for another two weeks.” He threw himself onto the floor by Hanbin’s feet.   
  
“I like studying.” Hanbin watched him with curiosity, wondering what could possibly have Junhoe so incensed he was taking it out on Hanbin’s study habits.   
  
“Yeah, well, stop, okay?” Junhoe wanted to tell him everything, wanted to spill it all, but he had no idea where to start.   
  
Hanbin closed his book and tossed it aside. “There, the offensive inanimate object is gone, banished from my hands for the duration of your visit.” When the teasing line didn’t even get an eye roll out of Junhoe, Hanbin knew it had to be something serious. He hadn’t had a Junhoe meltdown in a while, actually, not since Jinhwan.   
  
Was this about Jinhwan?   
  
“I was right all along, by the way,” Junhoe blurted out, because he’d never start talking if he thought about it too much.   
  
“You being right? That’s a first.” Hanbin teased, hoping to deflect some of Junhoe’s irate feelings. He didn’t want him to get too loud since Hanbyul was sleeping. She was knocked out on cold medication, but he could never be too sure.   
  
But Junhoe ignored the teasing. “I was right about Jinhwan. He’s an asshole, and a liar, and he doesn’t think about anyone except himself.”   
  
Hanbin’s mouth dropped in surprise at the angry comment. This was bad. “What did he do?” Best to let Junhoe just get it all out.   
  
“I never should have trusted him,” Junhoe said, “that was my mistake from the beginning. I knew it, in my gut I fucking knew it, but then you had to go and screw it up by dating Bobby. So, in essence, this is mostly your fault.”   
  
Hanbin sighed and laid down on the couch, his head near Junhoe’s. “Fine, it’s my fault, whatever. Are you going to tell me what happened or not?”   
  
Junhoe glared at him, too caught up in his own heartache to realize he was projecting his anger at the wrong person. “I told you, Kim Jinhwan is an asshole, and I’m the world’s biggest fucking idiot for trusting him.”   
  
Hanbin frowned. Usually he didn’t have to pry for information when Junhoe was upset. Usually Junhoe would be machine gun spitting a list of offenses at him by now, and Hanbin would be struggling to keep up. But he wasn’t actually saying anything. Jinhwan had done something to upset him—but  _ what? _   
  
Jinhwan had texted him earlier, asked him if he was busy tonight, said there was something he wanted to talk to him about. This must have been it. But what was  _ it? _ He was dying to know, but he couldn’t very well text Jinhwan right now, not with Junhoe sitting at his feet.   
  
Junhoe finally stopped glaring at Hanbin and instead directed his gaze at the wall. He should probably tell Hanbin what the deal was, but he was hesitant. He didn’t want Hanbin to know how he felt about Jinhwan. Didn’t want him to know how serious his feelings had gotten. But he couldn’t possibly hope to explain why he was so upset about Jinhwan moving without admitting it all.   
  
Maybe he wouldn’t say anything about his feelings. He’d just tell Hanbin that Jinhwan was leaving him, and let Hanbin figure the rest of it out. He was good at that.   
  
“Jinhwan’s moving to California.”   
  
Hanbin wasn’t sure if he’d heard him right. A few seconds of silence passed before he had to ask to clarify. “I’m sorry, did you say he’s moving to California?”   
  
“Yep.” Junhoe wouldn’t answer any other questions. He’d given Hanbin the information he needed to figure things out, and that was it. No more.   
  
Hanbin was surprised at the news. Had that been what Jinhwan had wanted to tell him? His first instinct was to wonder if Bobby knew. He would have said something if he had, wouldn’t he? But it wasn’t Bobby who was in front of him right now, and Hanbin pondered for a moment  _ why _ Junhoe would be this upset about Jinhwan moving. He knew they had a thing going, some  _ casual _ relationship.   
  
It wasn’t casual anymore, was it? Not for Junhoe, at least.   
  
Hanbin slid down off the couch, sitting on the floor next to Junhoe. “You’re in love with him, aren’t you?” It was risky, asking him straight out like this. But Junhoe wouldn’t be  _ this _ upset otherwise, there was no way.   
  
Of course Hanbin had figured it out right away. “I don’t want to talk about it.” Junhoe didn’t want to admit to how deeply Hanbin’s question hit him, didn’t want to admit how much it hurt to hear the truth spoken out loud.   
  
Hanbin wasn’t sure what he was supposed to do. Usually when Junhoe was upset he didn’t pry right away, he just let him vent and then gave him a night to be angry and upset and over the top. Then he’d slowly start to redirect Junhoe’s feelings towards something positive.   
  
But Junhoe had never been in love before. This was uncharted territory.   
  
“When is he going?”   
  
Junhoe shrugged, because that was an answer he actually didn’t even have. “Don’t know.”   
  
“Why is he going?”   
  
Junhoe didn’t want to have to answer. Why was Hanbin asking? Couldn’t he just drop it?   
  
“For jiu jitsu. To train with some guys.” It was an easy answer at least, not personal. That was the only reason he was giving it.   
  
“And you’re upset because he’s leaving you?” Hanbin was still unsure about what  _ exactly _ Junhoe was so lividly angry about.   
  
“I said I didn’t want to talk about it.” Junhoe replied, turning his head to glare at Hanbin.   
  
“I’m sorry, I’m just trying to make sense of things.” Hanbin wanted to help, but he wasn’t sure what was best for Junhoe right now. It was such a personal topic that he wasn’t sure that just letting it go would be the right option.   
  
“I’m pissed because he never told me, okay? He knew, months ago he knew when we first started hooking up. That’s why he wanted it to stay casual between us, okay? Are you fucking happy now?” Junhoe bit the inside of his cheek and looked at the wall again. God,  _ why _ was he feeling so emotional about this? He couldn’t even say it out loud without tears welling up in his eyes. It was pathetic.   
  
Hanbin understood it all now. “You wanted it to be more, didn’t you? You asked him, and that’s when he told you he was moving.” That had to be it. Nothing else made sense.   
  
Junhoe’s fingers were digging tightly into his arms because he wanted to reach out and throttle Hanbin right now.  He wasn’t going to answer. He wasn’t acknowledging it as a question.   
  
Hanbin wasn’t giving up, though. “Did you ask him why he never told you? Maybe he had a good reason.”   
  
Junhoe could almost feel his eyeballs igniting at the question. What the fuck was Hanbin even  _ thinking?! _ “Good reason? You think there’s a  _ good reason _ why he lied to me and made me question myself for months? Made me wonder why he didn’t think I was good enough to date?” Junhoe said it all without meaning to.   
  
_ Ah, there’s the real problem. _ “He probably had no idea how you felt, you’re not exactly an easy person to read.” Well, not unless he was angry about things.   
  
Junhoe felt like Hanbin had just kicked his jaw clean off his head and followed it up by smashing him in the gut with a sledgehammer. Junhoe was so hurt he didn’t even realize there were tears in his eyes.   
  
“You know what, Hanbin? I know you always like to take your moral high ground and give everyone the benefit of the doubt, but would it kill you to just take my side on this? Can’t you just be angry,  _ for me, _ because I’m your best friend and I’m really hurt? You should be on  _ my _ side, not Jinhwan’s.” Junhoe was on the verge of getting up and leaving when Hanbin’s hand clamped onto his arm, and even though Junhoe didn’t want to look at him he did, and he felt a little better when he saw the guilty, remorseful expression in Hanbin’s eyes.   
  
“I’m sorry. I am on your side, okay? I’m always on your side.”   
  
Junhoe averted his gaze again, staring at the wall and refusing to reach up and wipe the tears out of his eyes because wiping them would mean acknowledging them and Jinhwan was  _ not _ worth crying over.   
  
Hanbin put an arm around his shoulders and leaned on him. “Jinhwan’s an asshole who doesn’t deserve to lick your feet.”   
  
Junhoe was half tempted to shove him away, but he also kind of needed this right now. “I don’t want him anywhere near my feet.”   
  
Hanbin carried on, because this was what Junhoe needed right now. “He’s garbage, complete trash, rotting garbage not even worthy of being taken to the dump.”   
  
Junhoe couldn’t help it. He turned his head to fix his gaze back on Hanbin again, and he felt a little better when Hanbin grinned at him.   
  
“How am I doing?”   
  
“Fucking terrible.” It was a lie. Hanbin always seemed to know exactly what to say to make him feel a little better, even though Junhoe didn’t always want to admit it. But that’s why he’d come here, because he knew that if anyone could make him hurt a little less, it was Hanbin.   
  
Hanbin grinned, because that really meant that he was doing pretty good. “You wanna just watch TV, or something?”   
  
“Yeah, it’s almost time for Running Man, isn’t it? Put that on.” Junhoe felt relieved at the offer. He didn’t really want to talk about it, but he also didn’t want to be alone right now. He just wanted to ignore it, he just wanted things to be normal, he wanted to watch TV with Hanbin and spend the whole time insulting each other. Their usual routine. He wasn’t going to think about Jinhwan at all.   
  


* * *

  
Bobby was on his bed, playing a game on his phone when Jinhwan walked into his room unannounced, laying down next to him on the bed. Bobby didn’t really take much notice of him at first because this wasn’t unusual behaviour for Jinhwan. But Jinhwan’s arm snaked its way around him tightly and Jinhwan buried his face in Bobby’s hoodie.   
  
Bobby paused his game, laying a hand on Jinhwan’s head. “You okay, Jinan?”   
  
Jinhwan had been trying not to cry, especially not before he came clean to Bobby, but there was something about that damn sentence that had a way of ruining everything, and suddenly he was sobbing into Bobby’s side, his guilty conscience eating him alive.   
  
Bobby was going to take this hard. Jinhwan was sure of it after Junhoe.   
  
“Hey, Jinan, what the hell happened? What’s wrong?” Bobby’s protective mode flared on like a furnace, nearly crushing the breath out of him. He hadn’t seen Jinhwan cry like this in years, not since the worst of his times with his parents’ divorce.   
  
Jinhwan knew he needed to stop crying. It wasn’t fair to Bobby if he came into this already looking like the victim. But he was terrified of the outcome, and maybe he was just trying to soften Bobby up on purpose.   
  
Jinhwan pushed himself up, rubbing at his eyes with his sleeves. “I, uh, I have something I need to tell you. And I’m just afraid of how you’re going to respond to it.”   
  
Bobby shook his head and reached for Jinhwan’s hand. “What do you mean? Jinan, you don’t have to worry, there’s nothing you could tell me that you need to worry about.”   
  
Jinhwan wished that were true. “I told you that I talked to my mom, and she’s supporting the jiu jitsu thing now, but I didn’t tell you everything.” He should have told Bobby as soon as he’d gotten back. He’d wanted to, but Bobby’s parents had prepared a big meal for them instead, and he hadn’t wanted to ruin that first night back. But it would have been better.   
  
Bobby looked at him, curious about where this was going. What could he possibly be upset and worried about?   
  
“Well, I uh, fuck there’s no easy way to say this, and I know that I should have told you ages ago, as soon as I decided to go for it, I should have told you, and I’m sorry.”   
  
Bobby squeezed his hand, still confused. “Jinan, it’s okay, just tell me now.”   
  
Jinhwan found it hard to swallow around the lump in his throat, found it hard to breathe. He clung tightly to Bobby’s hands, hoped he was going to be wrong about Bobby’s reaction. “I’m leaving, after I graduate in March. I’m leaving Seoul.”   
  
Bobby’s expression fell and he bit the inside of his cheek to keep the disappointment at bay. This shouldn’t be a huge surprise. If Jinhwan was finally on good terms with his mother about jiu jitsu, then of course he’d want to go back to Jeju to be with her. They had a lot of years to make up for, after all. Bobby would miss having him there every day, but they’d dealt with it before.   
  
“Jinan, don’t worry, it’s okay. I understand, you wanna move back with your mom. It’s good, you should. It’ll be good for both of you.”   
  
Jinhwan shook his head. “I’m not going to Jeju, Bobby. I’m moving to California.”   
  
Bobby didn’t answer at first, but it was all there on his face, the shock, the surprise, the disappointment. “California? That’s like, a whole fucking ocean away.”   
  
Jinhwan nodded, waited for him to say more.   
  
“Why didn’t you tell me sooner?” Bobby couldn’t believe it. Jinhwan, moving to the US. Leaving him, really leaving, too far away for Bobby to go and visit.   
  
“I’m sorry, I really am, I should have told you a long time ago—”   
  
“Long time? Jinan,  _ how long _ have you known about this?”   
  
Jinhwan tried to swallow but couldn’t, his throat was too dry. “I uh, I started thinking about it in the summer, but I decided I really wanted to do it after winning that last tournament. I talked to Eric, and he helped me realize what I really wanted.”   
  
“Eric, your old trainer, right?” Jinhwan nodded, and Bobby was still stunned. “Why the fuck are you going to California? What’s there?”   
  
“I’m going for jiu jitsu, there’s a group I want to train with, the Gracie family, founders of the sport. Eric trained there, got his black belt, and I want to do the same.” Jinhwan took a deep breath to try to stay calm. Bobby wasn’t blowing up yet, at least. That was good.   
  
Bobby was just trying to make sense of things before really reacting. He was still confused about the whole thing. “Why do you need to go? Why don’t you just train with Eric? If he trained with them, he could train you for your black belt, couldn’t he? You always said you missed training with him. Why do you have to go to California? It’s so far.”   
  
It was such a hard question to answer like this, because no matter what he said, it wouldn’t seem like enough to Bobby. “It’s a huge opportunity for me, they don’t just agree to train anyone, you have to be recommended, and then accepted. They accepted me, I’d be crazy not to do this. I’ll learn so much there, more than anyone here could teach me.”   
  
Bobby had stopped listening. It didn’t matter. Actually, if he was being honest, Jinhwan’s explanation just made it  _ worse. _ He was leaving to go to some exclusive,  _ cream of the crop _ training school, some place that didn’t just accept the average guy. He was leaving Bobby behind. Discarded, like trash, after years of supporting him and being there.   
  
“Why are you telling me now? Why didn’t you tell me last night, or earlier today?” Bobby didn’t want to think about him leaving, couldn’t accept it. So instead he focused on some other detail.   
  
Jinhwan felt like everything was coming undone now. Bobby’s anger was slowly starting to simmer, and Jinhwan could practically feel the steam coming from him. Bobby was upset at him for keeping it secret, and now he was going to be even more angry to find out that he hadn’t even been the first one Jinhwan had told. But he couldn’t lie about it. Not now.   
  
“I fucked things up with Junhoe.” He didn’t want to look at Bobby, didn’t want to see the look on his face. Because he knew what he’d see there. Betrayal and disappointment.   
  
“Junhoe?” Bobby repeated the name, confused about what Junhoe had to do with anything.   
  
“Yeah, we had our thing, you know, the thing that was supposed to be casual, but—” Jinhwan pinched himself to keep from crying, everything was breaking him open right now, “I really like him, Bobby, I didn’t mean to, but I do, and he likes me too, but now I ruined everything and I think he hates me. I told him, and he just told me we were done and he left, but I don’t want it to be done.” Jinhwan really hadn’t meant to unload everything about Junhoe like that, he knew it would only make the situation worse. But the words had just started coming out and he’d been powerless to stop them.   
  
Bobby was so incensed on his own behalf already, and he latched on to Junhoe’s pain too. “Well I can’t blame him. He should be pissed off with you, you deserve it.” Bobby suddenly noticed that Jinhwan was still clinging to his hand and he violently shook his hand free.   
  
Jinhwan barely managed to restrain himself from reaching for Bobby again, not wanting to let him go, afraid he might lose him too. “I’m sorry, okay? I’m so, so sorry. I should have told you sooner, but I didn’t know if my mom would agree to let me go, and there was no way I’d be able to without her support, and I just, I was afraid of telling people, and getting my hopes up. I wanted to wait until I talked to her. That way if she said no, then no one would have known, and they wouldn’t have to be worried.”   
  
Bobby didn’t accept the explanation. “You do the same shit over and over! You only think about yourself, you never take anyone else’s feelings into account. You just do selfish things, and then when they blow up in your face you want everyone to treat you like you’re the victim. But you’re not the victim, Jinan, you’re never the victim. You always keep everything to yourself, you never tell me anything,  _ ever, _ you just wait until it’s too late and then you come crying to me, wanting me to help you.”   
  
Bobby got up from the bed, pacing in front of it. “It’s bullshit! I tell you  _ everything, _ even when I don’t want to, because you deserve to know. You’re my best friend, Jinan, you’re my fucking  _ brother, _ and you never tell me anything. It’s like, I don’t know, like I don’t even fucking matter to you. I’m just there. I’m stuck with you anyway, so I don’t get priority. But I should. I deserve it!”   
  
Jinhwan was shocked into complete silence by Bobby’s words. He’d never once complained about anything of this nature before. Sure, there were jokes about his sometimes selfish behaviour, but they’d never come across as anything that had truly bothered him. But from the way Bobby was going on, it seemed like this was something he’d been holding back for a while, letting it fester.   
  
“And now you’re  _ leaving, _ and not only did you not tell me, but when you finally were ready to tell, you told someone else first! You should have told  _ me, _ I should have been the first one to find out! But you told Junhoe! Why, because you’re fucking him? He gets priority over me, some guy you’ve been messing around with for a month? He’s suddenly more important than  _ me?” _   
  
_ Oh god. Oh god what had he done? Bobby was right. _   
  
“Bobby, I’m so—”   
  
“Sorry? Fuck your apologies, Jinan. They don’t mean  _ shit. _ You know why? Because you never learn. You never fucking learn. So fuck you.” Bobby couldn’t take it anymore, there was too much hurt in his heart right now, too much to be angry about. He stormed out of his bedroom, heading for the door.   
  
“Jiwon-ah? Where are you going?”   
  
His mother. How much had she heard? Bobby shook his head as he stuffed his feet into the nearest pair of sneakers and grabbed his jacket. He didn’t answer her, certain she was going to try and make him stay, certain she was going to try and lecture him about  _ not talking to family like that, _ questioning his judgement, his character— _ Jinhwan is your brother, Jiwon, don’t you love him enough to give him a chance to explain? _   
  
But that was the problem. That was the whole heart of the matter, and it stung him so sharply now that it was clear to him.   
  
He loved Jinhwan, he’d risk his life for Jinhwan, he’d do anything he could for him.   
  
But Jinhwan  _ clearly _ didn’t love him as much. No one mattered to Jinhwan as much as  _ Jinhwan _ himself.   
  
Bobby didn’t know where he was going, exactly, except for  _ as far away as possible _ . He took the stairs instead of waiting for the elevator, pounding heavily on each step down the six flights. The stomping made him feel slightly better.   
  
Jinhwan was leaving. His best friend, the person who’d been there with him through so much of life, the first person he wanted to tell all of his news to, the most important person in his life…   
  
Okay, so maybe Hanbin was kind of up there on equal grounds with Jinhwan now, but that was different. Different than whatever Jinhwan might be feeling for Junhoe. He was  _ in love _ with Hanbin, knew he wanted to spend his life with him. But even so, if he’d been planning to  _ leave _ the first person he’d tell would have been Jinhwan. He certainly wouldn’t treat him like an afterthought, wouldn’t treat him like nothing more than a shoulder to cry on because he’d—   
  
_ Hold on. _ What had Jinhwan’s initial tears been about when he’d come into Bobby’s room? Bobby had thought they’d been for  _ him, _ for  _ them, _ thought Jinhwan had felt guilty about telling him that he was moving.   
  
Had they actually been about Junhoe instead?   
  
Bobby wound up by the Han, and he stood on the bank of the river with his arms crossed over his chest, looking out at the lights from the other side. Gangnam was across the river. Hanbin.   
  
He took out his phone, dialing his boyfriend’s number. He needed to talk to him, needed to hear his voice, needed the comfort. But Hanbin didn’t answer. Maybe he was in the bathroom.   
  
Bobby tried again. And again. After letting it ring through to voicemail four times he finally sent him a text.   
  
_ -calll me pls i need u- _   
  
He kept his phone out in his hand, waiting. Maybe he was in the shower. Hanbin never ignored his calls, or his texts. He was at home tonight, looking after—   
  
Ah, of course. He was probably doing something with his sister. Maybe giving her a bath, or something. Putting her to bed. He’d probably be done soon.   
  
Ten minutes passed and still nothing. Bobby tried to stay calm, but he was just brimming with unshed emotion right now. There was anger, simmering just below boiling point. Disappointment, chewing away at his memories of life with Jinhwan. Betrayal, at Junhoe taking over his spot in Jinhwan’s list of priorities.   
  
He looked down at his phone, but there was still nothing. He couldn’t stand the silence and he typed another message.   
  
_ -bin pls pls call me i need to talk- _   
  
Bobby could feel tears threatening to spill out of his eyes and he hated it, hated feeling so vulnerable. He should be  _ angry, _ not sad. He should be punching something, not crying. His phone dinged then and it felt like a beacon, felt like it was a lifeboat he needed to cling to. But Hanbin’s message wasn’t what Bobby wanted to see.   
  
_ -im sorry i cant right now :( im with junhoe, hes really upset. ill call you in a bit tho okay?- _   
  
Junhoe,  _ again. _ Bobby felt like throwing his phone into the river. Why the fuck was everyone prioritizing Junhoe over him? It wasn’t even Junhoe’s fault, either, so it’s not like Bobby could be angry at him.   
  
_ -hyung im sorry, i love you, k?- _   
  
Hanbin’s second message hit Bobby like a kick in the knees, and he crumpled down to the grass.   
  
Hanbin understood all about priorities. Junhoe was hurting too right now, because of Jinhwan, and he’d gotten to Hanbin first. What did he expect Hanbin to do, drop Junhoe for him? The very same thing he was angry with Jinhwan for doing? He was just going to have to handle this thing on his own right now. He blinked back his tears before writing a reply to Hanbin.   
  
_ -its ok im good, be wit jun right now- _ _   
_ _ -i love u bin- _ _   
_   
Bobby took a deep breath and tried to calm down, tried to think about the situation from an outside view. Who  _ really _ needed support the most right now? Who was really hurting the worst? Him, or Jinhwan?   
  
Because, at the end of the day, despite feeling hurt and betrayed right now, Jinhwan was still the one who was leaving. Just because he  _ wanted _ to leave, that didn’t mean that it wouldn’t be hard. Jinhwan was facing an entirely new life, in a country where everything would be strange, where he’d feel like an outsider, customs and language driving a wedge in between he and the majority of people he was going to meet.   
  
Bobby was going to lose Jinhwan, but Jinhwan was going to lose  _ everyone. _ Including the guy he’d just accidentally fallen in love with, who might not even want to see him again before he left.   
  
He hated to admit it, but Jinhwan needed him, more than he needed someone else. Hanbin was there for Junhoe right now, his best friend, and as hurt as he was, Bobby knew that he should be there for Jinhwan. It wasn’t going to be easy, and it was bound to keep hurting before it got any better. But it  _ wouldn’t _ get better with anger and hurt feelings. It would only get better by talking to Jinhwan, by understanding  _ why _ everything had happened the way it had happened.   
  
So he got up from the ground and started the walk back home, started thinking of what he wanted to say to Jinhwan. He couldn’t just let it go, because he did feel truly wronged, and it wasn’t always a good idea to just forget things without getting the resolution you felt you needed. But maybe for tonight he’d put himself to the side. Just because Jinhwan hadn’t prioritized him, that didn’t mean that he had to do the same.   
  
He took the elevator when he got back. He was worn out, exhausted after the intense burst of emotions. He kind of just wanted to sleep, sure things would be better in the morning.   
  
He didn’t know what to expect when he got back. Would his mother be waiting for him at the door, ready to scold him for so rudely taking off? Would Jinhwan be off in his own room, steeped in guilt, refusing to talk to him?   
  
Bobby took a deep breath when he reached his apartment door. He checked his phone before entering, just out of habit, and there was a message from Hanbin. It was just a string of heart emojis, but it made him feel better. It also reinforced his belief that Jinhwan was more hurt than he was right now. No matter what happened now Hanbin had his back, he’d be there to help him through things.   
  
He opened the door and walked quietly into the apartment, glancing around for his mother. She was sitting at the table, waiting for him, and he braced himself for an admonishing lecture about his behaviour.   
  
But instead what he got was a hug and a kiss that bordered on being almost too much right now. But he took it, because it was so much better than a scolding.   
  
“Are you okay, my baby?”   
  
Bobby’s lip trembled at her question, and he buried his face into her neck to try and stop himself from crying. Why had he thought she’d be against him? This was his  _ mother, _ who knew him so well, knew that even in those moments when he acted rudely that underneath it all was a good kid with a heart that was hurt. Of course she wouldn’t yell at him.   
  
“I talked to Jinhwan-ie, and he told me about your fight. I’m here if you need me, okay baby? I love you.” She kissed his cheek again and Bobby let one single solitary sob escape from his throat. That was all, though. He had more important things to do right now than cry on his mom’s shoulder. There would be time for that later.   
  
“I’m okay,” he said, even though he obviously wasn’t okay, but she smiled and patted his cheek and let him go.   
  
The walk down the hall was slow, and he came to Jinhwan’s room first. But he wasn’t there, which meant that he’d stayed in Bobby’s room. Something about that just made him feel soft.   
  
He walked into his own bedroom and immediately his eyes took in Jinhwan, who was laid out on his bed. But there, in Jinhwan’s arms, was Bobby’s old Pooh bear. In Bobby’s own absence Jinhwan had chosen to cling to Bobby’s childhood treasure, and it just made Bobby want to cry again.   
  
Hurt feelings aside, come the spring Jinhwan was going to leave, he was going to be an ocean away, in a completely different time zone. Bobby didn’t want to waste any of their short time left being angry at him. He didn’t say anything as he sank down onto the bed behind Jinhwan, he just snaked an arm around him and hugged him tightly.   
  
Jinhwan hadn’t noticed him come back, not until he felt Bobby’s familiar arm settle around him. He rolled over to face him, feeling terrible when he took in the state of Bobby’s blotchy, tear-streaked cheeks. He’d never seen him like this before. Of the two of them Jinhwan was the one who cried, who wore his emotions on his sleeve and wasn’t afraid to show them. Bobby was the stoic one, the one who could be upset but still keep his tears firmly in his tear ducts.   
  
Bobby surprised him with his opening line.   
  
“I’m sorry for yelling at you, and for leaving.”   
  
Jinhwan didn’t know how to respond to that, because he felt like the last thing he deserved right now was an apology from Bobby. He should be the one apologizing.   
  
“I didn’t even ask you, but, how long,” Bobby’s voice broke on the word, and he cleared his throat to cover the sob that was threatening to come out, “how long are you going for?”   
  
“I don’t know,” Jinhwan replied, “I’m enrolling in a music program, too. Instead of SNU. So, probably a few years.” He acutely felt the length of it for the first time just now, fully felt how  _ long _ he was going to be away for. Was this really the right decision for him? Could he really leave for that long?   
  
Bobby nodded, blinking back tears. “I, uh, I just, I just wanted to say, you know, to tell you, that I’m gonna—”  _ god why was it so hard to just say it? _ “I’m gonna miss you, Jinan. I don’t want you to go, but I know you gotta do it.”   
  
Jinhwan could hear the struggle in Bobby’s voice, could hear the tears he was trying so hard to keep in, and just hearing him say it out loud made Jinhwan cry again. Bobby wasn’t saying it to fish for an apology, though, he was saying it because he meant it, and Jinhwan was grateful to hear it.   
  
Bobby pulled Jinhwan tighter into his arms, burying his face in Jinhwan’s hair. He felt kind of better after saying it, felt like he’d lifted a weight off his own shoulders.   
  
“I’m proud of you, too, for getting accepted.”   
  
Jinhwan pulled his head back, looked him in the eyes. Bobby looked proud, looked like he really meant it.   
  
“Thank you.”   
  
They were quiet for a minute then, like neither of them were sure what to say.   
  
“When are you leaving?”   
  
“I don’t know for sure,” Jinhwan replied, “probably some time in April. I won’t start music until the fall, but I wanted to go earlier to get more used to being there.” What had seemed like a good idea when he’d talked about it with his mother just felt like a horrible mistake now. Did he really have to go so soon? Thornton wouldn’t be starting until September. Maybe he should delay it, go in August instead.   
  
Bobby nodded, his heart hurt at the news. So soon. “Are you like, gonna stay there, for holidays, and stuff?”   
  
Jinhwan shrugged. He hadn’t asked his mom about that. He already felt guilty enough about how much this was going to cost her. He didn’t want to think about plane tickets for the holidays too. “I don’t know yet, I hope I’ll be able to come home. But I don’t know.”   
  
“You’ll be okay, Jinan,” Bobby said, “it’ll be good.”   
  
Jinhwan tightened his arms around Bobby, grateful to hear him try and be supportive. “I don’t know, honestly I’m kinda scared. I’ll be there, alone, I won’t have anyone. I’ve never been alone before. What do I do if something goes wrong?”   
  
Bobby hugged him tighter. “It won’t, okay? It won’t, it’ll be good.”   
  
“But what if it’s not?”   
  
“You won’t be alone for long. You’ll make friends, right?” Bobby hated to say it, hated to think about it. Of course Jinhwan would make friends over in the US, he’d find a new group of people to hang out with. Bobby felt jealous of them already, and they didn’t even exist yet.   
  
“Yeah, but, they won’t be you.” Jinhwan looked in his eyes as he said it, because he wanted to make sure that Bobby believed it. After his blowup earlier, Jinhwan was suddenly afraid that he’d never really made sure that Bobby knew how important he was, how much he loved him. “I’m gonna miss you more than anyone.”   
  
The words had their intended effect, and Bobby smiled when he heard them. “Let’s talk every day, okay?”   
  
“Every day.” Jinhwan promised. They were silent for a while after that, neither of them moving. Eventually Jinhwan looked up at him again.   
  
“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. Even if I didn’t want to worry anyone else, I should have told you. Everything you said about me is true, and I’m sorry I only thought about myself.”   
  
Bobby wanted to tell him it was okay, wanted to say that it didn’t matter. But it  _ did _ matter, and this was one of those times when he couldn’t lie and brush a hard topic aside just to save his pride. “You really hurt me, Jinan,” he said in a voice barely louder than a whisper, “like, I forgive you, but it hurt that you told Junhoe before me.”   
  
“I know, I only did it because I knew Junhoe would flip out, and I was hoping you’d feel bad for me. It was really selfish, and mean, too. I’m sorry if I’ve made you feel like I don’t care about you,” Jinhwan was trying to keep his tears in check to get through it all, but the realization that he’d made Bobby question his devotion to their friendship hurt him so much that he couldn’t get through it.   
  
Bobby tightened his arms around Jinhwan again and he pressed his face into Jinhwan’s hair. “I know, and it’s okay, well it’s not  _ okay _ but it’s okay now, you know—” it was hard to figure out how to say what he really wanted to say.   
  
Jinhwan understood, though. “Thank you,” he managed to get out in between breaths.   
  
“I’m sorry Junhoe took it bad,” Bobby said, “he’s with Bin.” Hanbin was good at talking to Junhoe. Bobby was going to pray every single day that maybe Hanbin could help Junhoe get over his anger.   
  
Jinhwan didn’t say anything in response, but he had the same thoughts as Bobby. Maybe Hanbin would get through to Junhoe, just so they could have a talk, at least have a better ending. Jinhwan wasn’t about to tempt fate and ask for anything more than that. Just one last conversation without any anger or yelling. One last chance to apologize and maybe even tell Junhoe that he loved him. If Junhoe would be okay with hearing it.   
  
Anything more than that was only a dream.


	46. Clean Up Crew

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Junhoe and Yejin have a talk about relationships. Yunhyeong invites Donghyuk out to see a movie. Hanbin and Jinhwan talk, while Bobby talks to his mom.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys we're getting so close to the end, I almost can't believe it. ♥ I just wanted to thank everyone who's ever left me a comment on this thing, I appreciate all of them. Especially those of you who've been around since I started this a whole freaking year ago. Wow. I posted the very first chapter on February 19th, 2017. I never imagined I'd devote an entire year of my life to one story, but I did. ♥♥♥

A week passed since their “breakup” and if you asked Junhoe, he’d tell you he was perfectly fine and not at all affected by it, not one bit. (He’d also tell you that Jinhwan could go choke.)   
  
But if you asked his mother, she’d complain that he was going through some kind of phase. He snapped at the entire family on a constant basis and was nothing short of exceptionally rude. She likened it to “The Great Coming Out” phase, as they jokingly called it in the family. For a whole three months before Junhoe had come out to them as gay he’d been like a monster constantly waiting around the corner, biting off the head of anyone who got too close. But the very second he’d blurted out the truth to them the act had disappeared and she’d gotten her (mostly) lovely son back. He was reverting back to the demon behaviour, though, and she was worried.   
  
If you asked Hanbin, he’d tell you that he was working on it, but that Junhoe was proving to be extremely difficult. Every time he tried to bring up Jinhwan, Junhoe would just ignore him. Flat out pretend he couldn’t hear. Hanbin was willing to let it go for another few days (at most) because they weren’t back at school yet. But Junhoe needed to confront it before classes picked up and exams came, because Hanbin couldn’t afford to be distracted with Junhoe in this state, and he was also worried about Junhoe’s own grades.   
  
Hanbin had told Donghyuk everything, but had made him promise not to let Junhoe know that he knew it all. Donghyuk was good at prying in the right way to get the information he wanted, and he’d done just that. After listening to Junhoe spit pure vitriol for nearly an hour, though, he almost wished he hadn’t.   
  
Now Junhoe ignored Donghyuk too if he brought up Jinhwan’s name.   
  
There was one week left of vacation time before school started back up, and Junhoe was currently at home in his room, a textbook open in his lap because he knew he  _ should _ start studying again, but he didn’t want to.   
  
Instead he found his thoughts wandering back to Jinhwan, as they always did.   
  
He wanted to stab something.   
  
Instead his eyes flicked up to his door and he was about to yell at whoever it was before the door opened and he saw his sister. He hadn’t seen Yejin since things had fallen apart (she’d been on vacation with her boyfriend) and the first thing that struck him was her expression.   
  
She looked sad. He wasn’t used to seeing her look upset. In fact if he thought about it, he couldn’t remember the last time he’d seen her look like this.   
  
“Hey brat, how are things?” Yejin sat down next to him on his bed, and Junhoe regarded her curiously. He could tell her to leave him alone because he was studying. He kind of wanted to, because he’d been in the middle of a nice daydream about breaking Jinhwan’s legs in a jiu jitsu match.   
  
But he’d feel weird, because she was clearly upset about something.   
  
“Hey noona,” he greeted, deciding to ask, “are you okay? You seem down.”   
  
Yejin shrugged and looked at him, frowning slightly. “Eh, I’m kind of not talking to Wonjae right now.”   
  
Wonjae was her boyfriend. Who she’d just spent a week in Japan with. Junhoe momentarily forgot about his own issues and sat up straight, ready to fight the very air itself if it would make his sister feel better. “What happened? Did he do something to you on your trip?”   
  
Yejin shook her head, like it wasn’t a huge deal. “Not really. We just had an argument when we got back, and now we’re not talking.”   
  
Junhoe sat back against his pillow again and frowned. “Yeah well, dump him. Guys are trash and you deserve better than his bullshit.” Junhoe wasn’t aware of how angry his tone was. He meant it about Wonjae, of course, but he had his own reasons for the comment too.   
  
Yejin’s expression immediately because suspicious. “What happened with you? Don’t tell me nothing,” she cut him off just as he was about to respond, “I can tell something happened, something you’re really upset about.”   
  
_ Fuck. _ He didn’t want to rehash it again, didn’t want to drag it all up. But she probably wouldn’t leave him be until he told her. Whatever. He didn’t have to go into excruciating detail.   
  
“It’s nothing serious, just, Jinhwan’s an asshole.” There. That would do.   
  
Yejin stared at him blankly for a few seconds, waiting for more. “Jinhwan, that would be your friend with benefits, right?” Junhoe nodded, hoping that was all the questions she wanted to ask.   
  
“What happened?” When Junhoe didn’t reply Yejin smacked his leg. “Just come out and tell me, alright? You tell me what happened with Jinhwan, and I’ll tell you what happened with Wonjae. Deal?”   
  
_ Ugh. _ No choice.   
  
“He’s moving to California.”   
  
Yejin waited again for more, and sighed when he didn’t offer anything else. “I’m sorry,  _ why _ does that make him an asshole? People move, Junhoe, it’s not malicious.”   
  
“It’s not the moving that’s the problem,” Junhoe snapped (well, it  _ was _ the moving, but that was beside the point), “he knew he was doing it back when we started our thing, and he didn’t tell me until now. That’s why he wanted it to be casual. Because he knew he’d be moving, and he didn’t want to develop feelings, or whatever. But he didn’t tell me that, not until it was too late.”   
  
“Too late?”  _ Of course Yejin had picked up on that! _ “Why is it too late?”   
  
Junhoe shook his head. She wasn’t stupid, she knew what he meant! He didn’t want to say it.   
  
“Junhoe? Fine, I’ll guess, but you have to tell me if I’m right, okay?” He nodded. As long as  _ he _ didn’t have to say it. “You fell in love with him, didn’t you? You wanted to date him, and he turned you down.”   
  
Junhoe nodded, because she was mostly right.   
  
Yejin’s expression turned soft then and she patted his knee. “Okay, that is pretty crappy, but at least he was honest with you when you asked. He could have just pretended to date you so he could keep sleeping with you. But at least he told you he was leaving. It sucks when you fall for people who don’t feel the same way, but it happens.”   
  
“He does feel the same way, though,” Junhoe added, unable to help himself, “he said he likes me too, that if he wasn’t moving, he’d have asked me out right away.”   
  
“Oh,” Yejin frowned, “ah that sucks.”   
  
It was all coming out now, even the bits he tried to keep shut away in favour of just being angry. “It’s just bullshit, noona, if he likes me as much as he says he does, then why is he leaving? Why can’t he just stay, everything he’s going to California for, he can do here! He doesn’t  _ have _ to go, he’s just choosing to go instead of finding another way around it.” Okay so that was kind of a lie—kind of. He could easily stay here and get his black belt, but it wouldn’t be training with the  _ best _ . Maybe that’s another reason why it stung.   
  
“Why is he going?”   
  
“He wants to go train with this specific person in jiu jitsu,” Junhoe answered, “but he could just stay here! He’d still get his black belt.”   
  
“How long ago did he start thinking about moving? I guess long before he met you, right? Did you ask him why he didn’t tell you right away?” She sympathized with him, of course, but she also kind of understood where Jinhwan was coming from. He had to think about himself first and foremost.   
  
“It doesn’t matter,” Junhoe replied, “he should have told me! Instead he lied to me, and he’s an asshole for it. I hope his plane crashes on the way over there.”   
  
“Junhoe!” Yejin snapped at him. “Don’t say things like that, no matter how upset you are. Don’t wish ill.”   
  
He crossed his arms over his chest and glared at the wall (he didn’t want Jinhwan’s plan to crash, he just wanted it to never take off so he’d have to stay). “You know I spent weeks wondering why he wouldn’t date me? I thought something was wrong with me. But instead it was just because he’d lied to me. So he’s an asshole, okay? He’s a huge fucking asshole.”   
  
Yejin was calm beside him—too calm, in Junhoe’s opinion.   
  
“Why aren’t you mad, noona?” It was like Hanbin all over again. Was she going to try and justify Jinhwan’s actions? Why wasn’t anyone taking his side without him having to ask?   
  
“Because I don’t believe in getting angry before I know all the details,” Yejin replied, “don’t roll your eyes at me, Junhoe! I know you’re hurt, and I understand why. You’re justified in being upset, absolutely. But there’s a difference between someone being intentionally hurtful, and being accidentally hurtful. I doubt he did this with the intention to hurt you, Junhoe. Did he?”   
  
Junhoe couldn’t believe her right now.   
  
Yejin carried on because she knew how to read his silence. “Of course he didn’t, you know that, even though right now it doesn’t matter to you. You’re hurt, and you want to be angry, and you want him to know that you’re angry. But here’s the thing, and this comes from personal experience. Sometimes shit happens, and you get hurt in situations. But  _ you _ can decide if it’s something you really want to be that upset about. Just because someone does something that hurts you, doesn’t mean that it has to feel like the end of the world. The more anger you carry around, the worse  _ you _ are going to feel.”   
  
“So what, I’m supposed to forgive him and not be upset? Is that what you’re saying?” Junhoe turned his glare on her.   
  
Her expression was annoyingly soft again, like he was some kind of injured animal that she had to care for. “No. You don’t have to forgive him, and you don’t have to get over it. But you don’t have to  _ hate him _ for it. You don’t have to be enraged every time you hear his name.”   
  
Junhoe shook his head. “He’s an asshole.”   
  
“But you love him, right? Did he ever do anything before to hurt you?”   
  
No, of course he hadn’t. The lie notwithstanding, Jinhwan had been nothing short of excellent. He didn’t want to admit that, though, so he just kept quiet.   
  
“Have you tried to talk to him since? You should. This is a tough time in your life, both of you. He has to think about what’s best for him, and that’s not always what’s best for the people he cares about.”   
  
“He doesn’t care about me.” Junhoe replied, even though he felt like that was probably a lie ( _ knew _ it was a lie, but it hurt to admit it).   
  
Yejin shook her head. “I don’t believe that. You wouldn’t have let yourself fall for someone if you weren’t convinced that they cared about you. I know you, okay, that’s why you don’t have many friends. You don’t want to get attached to people who won’t be just as attached to you. But now he’s moving, away from everyone probably. If he didn’t care about you, he wouldn’t have told you, not until it was closer to the move date.”   
  
Junhoe didn’t want to hear it. She was right, though he’d fight her about it if he had the energy. He just couldn’t right now, he was too hurt about all of it, and the more she talked about it, the more confused he felt. He wanted to be angry, but being angry was exhausting. He couldn’t just forgive him and act like nothing bad had happened, though.   
  
“What happened with Wonjae?” Time for a change of topic.   
  
Yejin was silent for a moment before answering. “He keeps making all of these off handed comments when we’re out, about our  _ future. _ At first it was just around friends, but he did it too when we were in Japan. All kinds of things, like where we’re going to live when we get married, that we’re going to have kids right away.”   
  
Junhoe looked at her in confusion. “What? Are you engaged, noona?”   
  
“No.” Yejin replied. “He and I haven’t even talked about it.”   
  
“So then why is he saying that stuff?”   
  
Yejin shrugged and leaned back on her hands. “I don’t know. At first I thought that maybe he was just trying to compensate in front of people, because a number of his friends have gotten engaged or married this year. His brother is engaged now. But it doesn’t matter. It’s the whole  _ tone _ of how he talks about it that bothers me. Because it’s never a question, or a choice. He doesn’t say  _ when we get married, I think we should live here, what do you think? _ He says  _ when we get married, we’re going to live here, and our kids will attend this school. _ ”   
  
Junhoe was still confused about the whole thing.   
  
“He’s just putting off this whole vibe like my opinion doesn’t matter, you know? And he does it in front of other people, with no regard for how it’ll make me feel. Like, there’s  _ zero _ explanation for why he’s doing it. None. And he won’t stop, no matter how many times I bring it up. It just feels very controlling, and I will not be with someone who thinks they can control me like that. Even if he has things that he wants, like what neighbourhood to live in, that’s fine. But he’s not saying it that way. He’s just making some definite decision  _ for me, _ when I didn’t even know there was a question. You know what I mean?”   
  
Junhoe nodded, he was starting to get it. “Yeah, it sounds kinda shady, actually. Like, why is he even talking about you being married if he hasn’t asked you?”   
  
“Exactly. It’s controlling behaviour, just for show. I can’t accept that. It’s different than him just being selfish, for instance. Like if he still gave me a choice in the matter.  _ I want us to live here, and if you want to live somewhere else, then it won’t work between us. _ But no. No choice. Just  _ this is what I want, and you don’t get a say. _ ”   
  
Junhoe didn’t say anything, just thought about it. He could understand why she was upset. The more he thought about it, really, the more he wanted to find Wonjae and break his legs. His sister didn’t deserve to be treated like that.   
  
“So that’s it, really. He’s a controlling person, who I thought cared about me more than he does. But he repeatedly does the same thing, without acknowledging that it actually bothers me. It just sucks to find out that someone you really like doesn’t respect you enough to include you in their plans for you.”   
  
“He’s an asshole.” Junhoe replied, and he thought briefly, compared them in his mind. Was that her intention? Wonjae’s hurt was obviously intentional, because he refused to accept she was even hurt and kept doing it to her. Jinhwan, on the other hand, had only hurt him once, and as much as he wanted to say that he didn’t have a reason, Junhoe knew that he  _ did _ have a reason. If Jinhwan’s mother hadn’t agreed to let him go they’d be dating officially right now, Jinhwan would be his  _ boyfriend _ and Junhoe would have been none the wiser about California.   
  
Intentional vs accidental.   
  
“Do you really think I should talk to him?” Junhoe asked.   
  
Yejin took his hand, squeezing it tightly. “Do you  _ want _ to talk to him?”   
  
Junhoe squeezed her hand back and nodded. It hurt him to admit that. He missed Jinhwan.   
  
“Before you do, you need to figure out what you actually want, though. What’s the end goal of your discussion? Do you just need some kind of closure, or do you want to try and be friends with him still?”   
  
Junhoe shrugged. “I don’t know. I just,” he took a deep breath, trying to stave off any potential tears, “I just want to talk him again? I’m angry, and even if I shouldn’t, I kind of hate him right now. But I miss him.” He felt a few tears slip out of his eyes and he screwed them tightly shut. “Is that stupid?”   
  
Yejin smiled softly at him, her thumb rubbing over the back of his hand. “That’s not stupid, Junhoe-ya,” she answered, “that’s just love.”   
  


* * *

  
“You don’t think we’re reading too much into this, do you?” Donghyuk looked between them, like he wanted them to convince him (for the hundredth time) why they thought this was a legit date, and not just two guys hanging out.   
  
“We’ve been over this numerous times,” Hanbin said, “the signs all point to him asking as a date. You’d know for sure if you stopped being such a chicken and  _ asked him, _ but instead you’re just driving us crazy with your own doubt.”   
  
Donghyuk whined because he knew Hanbin was speaking the truth. That didn’t make it any easier. He and Yunhyeong had been texting constantly for two weeks now, and yesterday Yunhyeong had asked him if he wanted to go and see a movie together. Donghyuk had said yes, of course, but there was no indication if it was just a night out as friends or something more. He wanted to ask, but he was afraid of Yunhyeong’s answer.   
  
“Speaking from experience, you should ask him to make sure,” Junhoe interjected, his voice gruff and angrier than he realized, “better to know now so you don’t have to spend so much time doubting yourself.”   
  
Hanbin and Donghyuk shared a look between them. This was  _ kind of _ an improvement for Junhoe. For days he’d been flat out ignoring anything to do with his own experience, so for him to relate his struggles to Donghyuk was a step in the right direction. That didn’t mean they’d engage him on it, though, because that was a potential eruption that might dampen the mood. Best to let him start talking about it on his own time.   
  
“What are you guys going to see?” Hanbin asked, reaching out to ruffle his hand through Donghyuk’s hair. The pair were meeting in an hour and they were trying to help Donghyuk look as good as possible. Hanbin was wondering if they shouldn’t do something different with Donghyuk’s hair.   
  
“Honestly I forget,” Donghyuk answered, “I was too focused on the whole, we’re going to see a movie together thing. I don’t know if I’ll even pay attention to the movie.”   
  
Hanbin grinned. “Well if he suggests that you sit in the back row, you’ll know it’s probably a date.” He swept Donghyuk’s hair back off his forehead.   
  
“Oh be quiet,” Donghyuk laughingly replied, “do you think I should do something with my hair?”   
  
“Yeah, I mean you know that Yunhyeong’s pretty focused on looks based on himself and his friends—”   
  
“He’s not that vain, Hanbin!” Donghyuk replied.   
  
“I’m not criticizing him for it,” Hanbin said, “it’s not necessarily a bad thing. Pretty people like looking pretty, and they like other people who look pretty. It’s the natural order of the world.”   
  
Junhoe huffed and came closer to them, surveying what Hanbin was doing with Donghyuk’s hair. “That’s a lie,” he said, and when Hanbin looked at him, Junhoe just shrugged. “If pretty people only like pretty people, then why do you like Bobby?”   
  
Hanbin laughed. “Ah, really? You haven’t insulted Bobby in weeks, come on.”   
  
“I’m more amused that he’s calling you pretty,” Donghyuk interrupted, “didn’t know Hanbin was your type!”   
  
Junhoe frowned. “He’s not!”   
  
“Hold on, did you just say that because you’re trying to say that Junhoe is pretty?” Hanbin teased Donghyuk.   
  
“Well, you said pretty people like pretty people, and he likes you, sooo…” Donghyuk teased back.   
  
“I like  _ both _ of you,” Junhoe interrupted, “but I still think that I’m the best looking one of us three.”   
  
“Ah, there we go,” Hanbin replied, “as expected.”   
  
“Just as pretty on the inside as he is on the outside,” Donghyuk teased, reaching out to pinch Junhoe’s cheek.   
  
Junhoe tried to move out of the way, just for show, but he let Donghyuk pinch his cheek. It felt good, being with his friends, teasing each other. It helped to keep his mind off of Jinhwan. It still always came back to him, but he’d take all the minutes he could where Jinhwan was shoved to the background. Even after his talk with Yejin, he wasn’t sure if he really wanted to talk to Jinhwan yet. He missed him, sure, but that wasn’t reason enough to break his silence. He was holding out hope that if he put it off long enough, maybe he just wouldn’t want to talk to him at all.   
  
“So what do you think about Donghyuk’s hair?” Hanbin asked him. “Leave it down or push it back?”   
  
Junhoe let Jinhwan slip out of his thoughts again and focused on Donghyuk’s face. “Yeah, push it back, it makes you look manlier.”   
  
Hanbin reached for some hair gel and together he and Junhoe styled Donghyuk’s hair, and Junhoe spent a whole fifteen minutes not thinking about Jinhwan.   
  


* * *

  
Donghyuk hadn’t stopped smiling since they’d met at the theatre, and now they were standing in line to buy popcorn. Donghyuk was certain it was supposed to be a date. The way Yunhyeong’s eyes had gone wide when he’d taken him in, how he’d blushed a little when they greeted each other… It wasn’t the way friends greeted one another. It had to mean there was more to it.   
  
He was so caught up in his belief that his fantasy was correct that he didn’t see the problem until it was right in front of him, sneering expression and cold tone of voice.   
  
“Eh Yun-ah what’s up?”   
  
Donghyuk peered around Yunhyeong to see one of his friends (Donghyuk didn’t know his name, only vaguely recognized him). There was a slightly panicked look on Yunhyeong’s face, though, and it set Donghyuk off too.   
  
“Hey Kwanghee,” Yunhyeong replied, his voice tense enough to make it obvious that he was uncomfortable.   
  
Kwanghee looked pointedly at Donghyuk. “Weird choice of movie date,” Kwanghee said pointedly, looking from Yunhyeong to Donghyuk and back again.   
  
“It’s not a date.” Yunhyeong replied hurriedly, and Donghyuk’s heart dropped at how quickly he said it.   
  
Kwanghee laughed and clapped him on the shoulder. “I’d certainly hope not,” he said with a laugh, like he thought Yunhyeong’s response was funny, “pity friendship, I get it! Doing your good deed.” Kwanghee grinned and gave Yunhyeong a look that was a little challenging.   
  
Yunhyeong recovered himself a bit. “Shut up,” he said half-heartedly, “we’re friends because I like Donghyuk, okay? Quit teasing me about it.”   
  
Kwanghee laughed and shook his head. “Whatever you say, man. I’ve gotta get back to my date, which is a  _ girl, _ who’s very pretty. See you around!” Kwanghee left, and Yunhyeong watched him go, while Donghyuk just stood there and bit the inside of his cheek to keep his wits about him.   
  
_ Okay, so it wasn’t a date, whatever. _ It was still a big deal that Yunhyeong had invited him out to see a movie, especially given the reaction of his friends. Donghyuk had to remind himself that just because he was friends with people who were more outspoken than Yunhyeong, it didn’t mean anything. Yunhyeong’s social circle was very different from Donghyuk’s. He had an image to maintain, and given how some of his friends acted, it was a big challenge for him to publicly befriend Donghyuk.   
  
And maybe Yunhyeong had lied anyway. It’s not like he could outright tell his friends he was interested in a guy, right? Maybe he was still figuring it out himself. There were so many possibilities…   
  
“Uh, I’m sorry about that,” Yunhyeong said, “that was rude of him, I’m sorry.”   
  
Donghyuk forced a smiled. “It’s okay, hyung, you can’t control your friends, I understand.”   
  
Yunhyeong frowned. “I know, but that’s twice now that my friends have said rude things to your face. I really don’t want you to think that I, well—” Yunhyeong floundered for words, not even sure exactly what he wanted to say.   
  
“It’s okay hyung, really.” Donghyuk said, even though it wasn’t okay. But it wasn’t Yunhyeong’s fault. He was trying to fight back against his friends, wasn’t he? Sure, twice now they’d said rude things, but Yunhyeong had told them off for it both times. That counted for a lot.   
  
Yunhyeong nodded, but still looked upset. “Our movie’s just about to start, so let’s go get seats?” They made their way into the theatre, finding a pair of seats near the top. Donghyuk was glad it was dark so he could easily hide the droop in his expression.   
  
He’d been stupid to think this was a date. Even if Yunhyeong did like him that way, there was no way he’d do anything about it with his friends, right? And what if his family was the same way? Maybe Junhoe had been right. Maybe he needed to ask, just so he knew, for a fact, right away. Donghyuk didn’t mind daydreaming, but sometimes it felt so real. Sometimes it was easy to get caught up in dreams and forget reality.   
  
The movie started as soon as they sat down and Donghyuk tried to keep his focus on the movie, tried to get lost in the plot and the characters. But a few times their hands brushed when they reached for popcorn, and they both pulled back quickly every time, like the touch was a shock. It was uncomfortable.   
  
Things were a little calmer by the end, that heavy tension that had settled over them right before had lifted over the course of the movie. Donghyuk still felt a little uncomfortable, but he was chalking that up to his own thoughts, his own feelings. Yunhyeong seemed fine.   
  
Yunhyeong wasn’t fine, though, not even close. He was worried that instead of this night being the catalyst to something he desperately wanted, he worried that he’d ruined everything instead. Donghyuk wasn’t his usual smiley self, what had happened with Kwanghee was obviously pulling him down.   
  
He had to fix this thing. He’d been the one to screw it up, so it was on him to make it better.   
  
“Do you want to go for a walk?” He asked Donghyuk, and he knew how awkward it sounded, but he was relieved when Donghyuk said yes. Yunhyeong just needed a more private setting to have this talk.   
  
Donghyuk had a multitude of thoughts running through his head as he followed Yunhyeong. Was Yunhyeong about to tell him that they couldn’t hang out anymore? Was he going to explain how difficult it would be for him to keep his friendship going? Donghyuk thought it might just break his heart. He hoped that maybe Yunhyeong just wanted to tell him that he wasn’t interested in him romantically, wanted to tell him that he liked girls, but that he liked hanging out with him as a friend too.   
  
It was ridiculous for him to have thought that Yunhyeong was into him. Yunhyeong was older, and so much better looking, he was popular and cool, everyone liked him. Why had Donghyuk even thought there was a chance that Yunhyeong liked him like that? Hanbin and Junhoe had just gotten into his head too much. They’d made him see things that weren’t really there.   
  
Yunhyeong started talking once they got out of the crowded streets, once they were walking through a quieter neighbourhood. “So, I wanted to apologize again about earlier,” he started, “you know, my friends tease me a lot about dating because I’ve actually never had a girlfriend before.”   
  
Donghyuk was surprised to hear that. “Really?” He’d expected that Yunhyeong would have had a few girlfriends by now.   
  
Yunhyeong looked at him and nodded. “Yeah, I’ve had a lot of girls show interest, but I never dated any of them. My friends are pretty ruthless, but I mean most friends are anyway, right? It’s not friendship if you don’t tease each other over things.”   
  
Donghyuk knew there was truth to that, but he couldn’t help but feel wronged anyway. “That’s still kind of mean of them, though.”   
  
Yunhyeong looked away, his gaze on the road. His heart sped up a little, because he’d decided to just come out and say it. It wasn’t the way he’d planned it, but then the movie itself was supposed to have gone differently. He had to adapt.    
  
“Before I met you I thought I liked girls.”   
  
Donghyuk’s mouth dropped open in shock and he almost stopped walking. Yunhyeong wasn’t looking at him, but Donghyuk could see the nervous lines in his face even from the side profile. Yunhyeong had just said that  _ before he’d met him he thought he’d liked girls _ and Donghyuk could feel his own heart rate increase at the sudden admission. “What do you think now?” He asked, wide eyes on Yunhyeong, who suddenly stopped walking and instead turned to face him.   
  
Yunhyeong almost felt like his heart had stopped entirely, like it was waiting for him to admit how he felt before it decided to start beating again. Like if he chickened out and said nothing it wouldn’t start up again at all. He didn’t know how long he stood there staring at Donghyuk before he suddenly reached out and cupped Donghyuk’s face in his hands and pressed an awkward kiss to his mouth.   
  
His first kiss. The first time he’d ever  _ wanted _ to kiss someone.   
  
“I’m sorry I said it wasn’t a date,” he blurted out, “because it  _ was _ a date. I want to date you, but I’m just afraid of what everyone will think of me. Because I won’t hide it, you and me, I won’t hide it. But I don’t know what my family will think, and I know most of my friends won’t accept it, so I just don’t know how to come out to them. I just feel trapped, and that’s why I said it wasn’t a date.”   
  
Donghyuk didn’t respond for a few seconds, couldn’t physically make any words come out. But his expression slowly turned from shock to happiness, a slow smile pulling up at the corners of his mouth.   
  
Yunhyeong wanted to date him. He wanted to date him and he didn’t even want to hide it. It was more than Donghyuk had ever dared to dream about. But the longer he took to answer the more Yunhyeong’s expression changed, and Donghyuk was surprised when he realized that Yunhyeong looked  _ afraid. _   
  
“It’s okay,” Donghyuk said, and it really was, he understood why Yunhyeong had reacted that way, he didn’t blame him. “I was afraid too, before I came out. I understand how you feel. I can help you figure it all out, what you want to say, and when you want to say it.”   
  
Yunhyeong looked relieved at Donghyuk’s response. “I’ve been thinking about this moment for weeks, I was so worried I’d screwed it up because of Kwanghee.”   
  
Donghyuk grinned. “You didn’t screw anything up, hyung.”   
  
Yunhyeong grinned back, and the colour came back to his face, his cheeks tinged pink and Donghyuk thought he was the cutest guy ever. “Hey, are you hungry? I know a really good barbeque place.”   
  
Donghyuk nodded. He was starving. Even though he’d eaten a bunch of popcorn, his worried nerves seemed to have consumed it all and left his stomach empty. “Yeah, barbeque sounds amazing!”   
  
Yunhyeong smiled and soon they were off for the restaurant, which wasn’t too long of a walk. Donghyuk was just happy that they were going to eat together, because now it finally felt like a proper date and he could enjoy the moment entirely instead of being worried.   
  
As soon as they walked in the door they were greeted by an older lady who was sitting at a table near the front, eyes on the TV. Her expression brightened the moment she saw Yunhyeong, and Donghyuk wondered for a second if he just came here often to eat and knew the owners.   
  
“Yunhyeong-ah, what a surprise!” She said, and Yunhyeong walked up to her, Donghyuk in tow.   
  
“I wanted to come visit, halmoni.” Yunhyeong replied, and the realization of who Yunhyeong was talking to hit Donghyuk like a tonne of bricks. This was his  _ grandmother. _   
  
“I can see that,” she replied, and her eyes flitted from Yunhyeong to Donghyuk, “and I see you’ve brought a friend with you.”   
  
Yunhyeong was a little nervous, but he’d talked to his grandmother a lot about his lack of interest, and he hoped that meant that she would understand. Hoped that she would support him. “Well, you remember how many times we’ve talked about me, and how I never liked anyone?” His expression was nervous as he waited for her response, but after a few seconds she seemed to figure it out.   
  
“Of course I remember those talks. I told you that there must have been one special person out there, waiting for you to find them.” She smiled at him, cast a quick glance at Donghyuk.   
  
“Well, I think you were right. And I met that person.” He reached back for Donghyuk, took his hand and pulled him forward. “This is my boyfriend, Donghyuk.”   
  
Donghyuk could barely contain himself through the whole thing, but especially when Yunhyeong called him his  _ boyfriend. _ It was more than he’d hoped for so soon, and it was something he’d wanted so badly for so long. He smiled at Yunhyeong’s grandmother, and she seemed to have such a warm expression as she looked at him.   
  
Donghyuk bowed to her. “It’s an honour to meet you.”   
  
She reached out to lightly smack his arm. “Ah, so polite! And what a sweet face, too. I like this boy already.”   
  
Yunhyeong felt like sinking down to the floor in relief. He had his grandmother’s support. Not only support but she  _ liked _ Donghyuk, not only from her words but her reactions. It was a weight lifted off his shoulders. If his parents had misgivings, his grandmother would be there to help. If his friends had a problem, well, he’d find new friends.   
  
“Well, I don’t think you came here just to tell me, did you? Have a seat and let me go get your mother to prepare you something, alright?” She ushered them to a table and Donghyuk sat down opposite Yunhyeong, a bright smile on his face as he watched her head for the back.   
  
Yunhyeong was overjoyed, but suddenly he reached for Donghyuk’s hands. “I’m sorry,” he said in a rush, and Donghyuk looked at him in confusion.   
  
“Sorry for what?” There was nothing he could possibly be sorry for. The night was turning out perfect.   
  
Yunhyeong smiled abashedly at him. “Well, I introduced you as my boyfriend, but I never actually asked you if you would be.”   
  
Donghyuk actually blushed at the comment, it was so sweet. “You didn’t have to ask,” he replied, squeezing Yunhyeong’s hands, “I’m happy to call myself your boyfriend.”   
  


* * *

  
Hanbin had told Junhoe that he and Bobby had a date, but that had only been a half-truth. In reality he was at Bobby’s place, lying on his bed with Jinhwan and helping him decide where he wanted to live when he moved. Bobby was in the kitchen helping his mother make lunch.   
  
“Ah, hyung seriously, you’re making me want to apply somewhere overseas too. I’m so jealous.”   
  
Jinhwan grinned. “Well you’re so smart I’m sure you could easily get yourself a scholarship, then you can come over and we can live together.”   
  
“Ah don’t tempt me,” Hanbin replied.   
  
“Come on, I’m sure Bobby would be down with the idea. Besides your parents are rich, so we could probably get a nice place if they kick in money too.” Jinhwan joked, but in reality his heart ached for that idea. He was constantly flip flopping back and forth between being afraid and being excited. But having Hanbin and Bobby with him would make everything better.   
  
Hanbin grinned and opened another apartment listing. “Well, my dad does have business contacts in Los Angeles, so it’s honestly not a crazy idea. There’s only one problem.”   
  
Jinhwan knew what that one problem was, and his face dropped at the mention. He was trying to ignore the pangs in his heart, but it was tough. “What if we tried hypnotherapy?”   
  
Hanbin laughed. “I don’t know if there’s a hypnotherapist strong enough to change Junhoe’s mind, but we’ll look for one. Actually, I have the tiniest bit of progress to report.”   
  
Jinhwan’s eyes shot wide open at the comment. He kept asking Hanbin for updates about Junhoe’s feelings towards him, even though he didn’t expect them to get better any time soon. “What progress?”   
  
“We were helping Donghyuk get ready for his date with Yunhyeong, and Junhoe actually  _ sort of _ brought you up. I mean it wasn’t in a good way, but still, that’s the first time since that day he’s referenced you at all.” Hanbin looked at Jinhwan, who frowned back at him. “No really, hyung! That means his anger is finally starting to come down a bit.”   
  
Jinhwan flopped onto his back and let out a loud whine. “Is he ever going to talk to me again? Honestly, Hanbin, you’re his best friend. Do you think there’s  _ any _ chance he’ll forgive me?”   
  
Hanbin wasn’t sure. “It’s tough to guess, he was really hurt. I mean, he got hurt in two ways. His pride got demolished, and you’re leaving soon. Even if you hadn’t kept it from him and it was a surprise thing that you couldn’t help, he probably wouldn’t talk to you because he’d be too heart-broken over you leaving. But now he’s angry  _ and _ he misses you.”   
  
Jinhwan looked up at him at the comment. “Do you really think he misses me?”   
  
Hanbin heard the uncertainty in Jinhwan’s voice and he looked down at him, surprised at Jinhwan’s hopeful expression. “Of course he misses you, hyung. But that’s probably making him angrier at himself.”   
  
Jinhwan frowned and looked back up at the ceiling. It had been over a week now, but it wasn’t any easier. He tried to stay distracted, but Junhoe kept popping back up in his head. He knew it was his own fault, but it still felt a little unfair. He had to do what was right for himself, and he’d never meant for anyone to get hurt. But Junhoe’s refusal to so much as acknowledge him made every day hard to get through. He didn’t feel right complaining to anyone about it, because everyone else was hurt too, and everything was his fault.   
  
He was surprised when he felt Hanbin’s hand settle on his head and start ruffling his hair. This was all unfair to Hanbin, especially. He’d broken the heart of Hanbin’s best friend, and he’d hurt Hanbin’s boyfriend, so by all rights Hanbin ought to hate him too. But instead Hanbin was here, consoling him. Jinhwan felt like he didn’t quite deserve it.   
  
“How come you’ve been nothing but nice to me throughout this whole thing?”   
  
Hanbin seemed surprised by the question, and he took a few seconds to think before answering. “I guess because I understand why you did it,” he answered, “I keep thinking about it, about what I would have done if I were in your shoes. Honestly I don’t know if I would have done anything different, I probably would have hid it too.”   
  
Jinhwan’s expression screwed up into one of disbelief. “Really? That surprises me, you seem like the type that would tell people about stuff like that.”   
  
Hanbin just shrugged at him. “I’d want to think that I would tell people, but it’s easy to say what you would have done when you’re not actually in the situation. But when you really stop and think about everything you were going through, I can’t blame you for not telling anyone.”   
  
“I honestly didn’t think my mom would agree to it when I decided that I wanted to do it.” Jinhwan felt better hearing Hanbin admit that, though it sparked an uncomfortable feeling in the pit of his stomach that he couldn’t understand just yet.   
  
“You were already worried enough, you didn’t want to worry anyone else. I can relate to that, I don’t like worrying people either until I know things for sure.”   
  
Jinhwan nodded, happy that Hanbin related to it. But then suddenly he realized what the uncomfortable feeling was. “Hanbin, you’d tell Bobby if you were thinking about something like this, right?”   
  
“Of course I would, hyung,” Hanbin replied, “I’d tell him as soon as I started thinking about it. I wouldn’t have before this, though, I might have tried to figure things out first and see if it was even possible. But this situation made me realize that it wouldn’t be right to do that for big decisions.”   
  
Jinhwan was relieved at his answer. He’d already hurt Bobby enough himself, he didn’t want the same thing to happen with Hanbin. “Good. Just making sure.”   
  
While that was going on, Bobby had been in the kitchen, “helping” his mother. In reality, he’d just been trying to deal with his still mixed-up emotions about Jinhwan leaving.   
  
“I’m just having a hard time trying to be supportive,” he admitted, leaning on the countertop next to her, “I know he’s going through a hard time right now with everything, but every time he brings up moving and tries to include me in helping him make decisions, I have to force myself to do it. That’s bad of me, right? I don’t  _ want _ to help him move away.”   
  
“I understand why you’d feel that way, baby,” she replied, “I felt the same way when your brother moved out.”   
  
“But he’s still in the city, mom!” Bobby whined, even though he knew she was just trying to relate to his struggles.   
  
“I know, but to a mom, not having your babies in the same place as you all the time is tough. I don’t even want to think about you leaving me one day. My heart is going to break.” She gave him a sad sort of smile, and it just made Bobby feel worse.   
  
“So what do I do? How do I act excited about him leaving me?”   
  
“That’s your problem, right there,” she said, “you’re thinking about it the wrong way. Of course you’re not going to be excited if you think about it as Jinan-ie leaving you. Instead think about it as being excited for him to start a new chapter in his life. He wants you to help him, it’s important to him to get your opinion. That’s what you need to be excited about.”   
  
“But how do I do that? I mean, it would be different if I was going with him, or at least going to visit. Then I know that I’d be able to see it all myself. But instead I have to be excited to help him plan to go somewhere and I won’t even get to go. So I’m sad because he’s leaving, and then I’ll be sad again because he’s going to get to do a bunch of exciting things that I won’t get to do.” Bobby was trying to keep that part of his feelings in check, the jealousy. He’d love to be able to move away to the US for university, but his parents would never be able to afford it.   
  
“If you want to go and visit him, you’ll find a way, baby. There comes a time in your life when you have to start doing things for yourself, instead of relying on other people to plan things for you.”   
  
Bobby frowned and looked up at her. “Are you trying to tell me you want me to get a job?”   
  
She laughed at him. “I’m not telling you to do anything. But if you want to be able to visit him, you can’t just sit around and hope it’ll happen. Do something to make it happen.”   
  
She was right, he knew that. His parents wouldn’t be able to afford to pay for a plane ticket for him to go and visit Jinhwan in the US. If he wanted that, he’d have to work for it himself.   
  
“Jiwon-ah,” she said softly to him, “if you want my advice, then what you really need to do is enjoy your time with him now, before he leaves. You’ll have plenty of time to miss him when he’s gone. Instead of being out here, talking to me, you should be in your room, talking to him.”   
  
Bobby nodded, and he pushed himself up off the counter. “Thanks for listening to me complain.” He stood behind her and hugged her, truly grateful she was willing to listen to him.   
  
“Ah, baby! I love you, and it hurts my heart to see you struggling. But that’s life, and you have to accept that these things happen. These days it’s easy to stay in touch with people who are far away, so don’t forget that. Don’t you remember when we lived in Virginia? The easiest way to communicate was by telephone, because our internet was so slow. But now you and Jinhwan can video chat on your phone, and it’s fast and clear. It’s easy to feel like you’re still together, you just have to commit time to talking. You’ll see it won’t really be as bad as you think it will be.”   
  
He felt a little better after hearing her talk, and it was true, after all. Technology had come a long way, and even though they’d be dealing with an annoying time difference, it wouldn’t be any different than when Jinhwan had been in Jeju, and he’d survived those years easily. The toughest part would probably just be the jealousy, really.   
  
He kissed his mother and hugged her one last time before leaving the kitchen and heading back to his bedroom. He paused in the door, watching Jinhwan and Hanbin cuddled up together on his bed. He was lucky, really. If he hadn’t met Hanbin, Jinhwan would still be leaving to go to California, and Bobby would be even more alone. But he Hanbin now, so really, he’d be okay.   
  
“I can’t believe you two,” he grumbled from his spot at the door, “I was slaving away in the kitchen helping my mom, and you two are in here cuddling without me?”   
  
They both grinned and pulled apart, and Jinhwan patted the empty space in between them. “We were keeping your spot warm for you.”   
  
Bobby walked over and sat in between them. His mother was right. He had to enjoy the rest of his time before Jinhwan left, and he wanted to help him figure out his impending life in America. Instead of feeling sorry for himself, Bobby would start looking for a job, and he’d start saving money so he could go and visit Jinhwan as soon as possible. It was so easy to mope and be sad, but that wouldn’t help any of them. Instead he needed to be excited, because Jinhwan needed to be excited.   
  
So he pulled both of them against him and took Jinhwan’s laptop from Hanbin. “Okay, did we find you any good places to live yet?”   
  
He could do this. For Jinhwan, and for himself.


	47. Bridge & Roll

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hanbin forces an emotional talk with Junhoe, while Jinhwan stresses out over an upcoming tournament. (Seungri makes a come back!)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, I was so close to being done, and then suddenly got this idea for a scene I'd never gotten to do, which blossomed into a really cool idea in my head, and then suddenly I have to add another chapter, and I might have to add another... I'm not sure because I hadn't planned for this, it wasn't in my storyline at all, so I don't know how long the next chapter is going to run. I'm sure you guys don't mind, right?

“So we’re back to school in two days,” Hanbin said, careful eyes on Junhoe, “we should talk about Jinhwan.”  
  
Junhoe frowned and crossed his arms over his chest. He knew Hanbin was just trying to help, but his knee jerk reaction was to feel annoyed. “No thanks. I have nothing to say.”  
  
Hanbin had expected the resistance. “I just want to make sure that you’re okay. Exams are coming up soon.”  
  
“I’m fine.”  
  
“I don’t want your grades to suffer because you’re distracted.” Hanbin wasn’t planning to leave the situation alone until they talked and he felt assured that Junhoe was okay. Well, okay _enough._ He didn’t think Junhoe would be truly okay for some time yet.  
  
“The only distraction in my life right now is you being super annoying and not shutting up.” Junhoe couldn’t help but snap at Hanbin. It was okay, though. Hanbin was used to it.  
  
“I actually haven’t tried to talk to you about Jinhwan in over a week. I’ve been giving you time, and I’d give you more if it wasn’t so close to exam time.” The fact that Junhoe was actually engaging in the discussion right now was a good sign to Hanbin. If he truly wasn’t ready to talk, he’d have just shut off completely.  
  
“Hanbin I mean it. I’m fine. I don’t need to talk about Jinhwan.” That was a lie, but his pride was getting in his way again.  
  
“Look me in the eye and tell me that you’re really okay,” Hanbin asked, sitting down next to him on the couch, “I promise I’ll leave it be if you can do that. But you can’t sound angry, because if you’re angry then it means you’re not really okay.”  
  
Junhoe turned his head to glare at Hanbin, trying to warn him from being too pushy. But Hanbin’s expression only looked concerned, like he was struggling through a difficult situation. It actually tugged at Junhoe’s heart a little, and he had to look away because it made him feel guilty. Which was stupid, right? He hadn’t done anything wrong, so why should he be the one feeling bad?  
  
Hanbin waited, because he had this feeling like Junhoe was ready to talk about it. He only had to wait him out. He didn’t say anything more, just remained sitting beside him, and after a minute he nudged his knee into Junhoe’s.  
  
Junhoe’s gaze was focused on the wall and he was trying to blink back tears. This was such bullshit. He shouldn’t still be crying over Jinhwan. He should be over it, and that desire to see him again should be non-existent. But instead it still burned brightly, like his heart was a gasoline lantern. It was just going to keep burning unless he figured out how to shut off access to the fuel.  
  
Hanbin leaned against him, reached out for a hand and threaded their fingers together. Junhoe didn’t push him away or tense up at all, he just remained exactly as he was, and that was answer enough for Hanbin.  
  
The silence was getting to Junhoe, it made all of the thoughts running through his head seem that much louder and harder to ignore. “Have you seen him?” Junhoe couldn’t stop himself from asking.  
  
“I have.” Hanbin waited to see if Junhoe had questions about it. He wanted to spill everything, but sometimes it was best to let Junhoe decide what he wanted answers about.  
  
Junhoe wasn’t sure how to feel about that. One part anger, one part betrayal, but the biggest part was jealousy. Which only made him angrier at himself. “You probably didn’t even tell him off, did you?”  
  
Junhoe calmly asked, so Hanbin decided to be honest. “No, I didn’t.”  
  
One little tear squeezed itself out of the corner of Junhoe’s left eye, but he refused to wipe it. Hanbin was on his other side, after all, so he wouldn’t see it. He’d known that Hanbin had probably seen Jinhwan, it was inevitable with Jinhwan’s living arrangement, but still. He couldn’t help but feel betrayed. “What happened to being on my side?”  
  
“I am on your side,” Hanbin replied, “but we’re different kinds of people, you and me. You know that I can’t stay angry at anyone, that’s not who I am. Especially when there’s a logical explanation for something. My brain just refuses to hold on to hurt feelings.”  
  
Hanbin was right, Junhoe knew that. But right now it was just easier to foist his emotions on Hanbin than keep them internal. “Keep your stupid logic.” But Junhoe wasn’t really angry anymore, he was just sad, so at least he wasn’t yelling at Hanbin.  
  
Hanbin took advantage of his calmness to push his conversation. “You take things so personally, you always have. But that’s why we’re such good friends. We need each other. You need me to let you fly off the rail and then talk you down when you’re ready.”  
  
Junhoe couldn’t argue with that comment. Hanbin put up with a lot from him, he knew that, and he was grateful. Junhoe knew he was the sort of person who needed to wallow in anger and hurt feelings, and he was grateful that Hanbin, who was the opposite, accepted him for it. But he’d never really gave any thought to the idea that Hanbin, in turn, needed anything from him. Normally he wouldn’t even give the comment any thought, but he focused on it this time. Just out of curiosity. Just to hear what he’d say. “What do you need me for?”  
  
Hanbin enclosed Junhoe’s hand in between both of his own. “You remind me that sometimes emotions are more important than logic.”  
  
Junhoe wasn’t sure why that got him a little choked up. Maybe it was just because Hanbin had never admitted that he felt like he needed anything from him before. Junhoe wasn’t ready to admit how much it meant to him to hear Hanbin say it, though. “I think you need me because you’re such a huge nerd, and without me you’d be a total loser.”  
  
Hanbin laughed, and that made Junhoe laugh, and Junhoe thought that this was what he was most grateful to Hanbin for. Just for _understanding_ him, for knowing when to talk, when to not talk, but most importantly when to laugh. Junhoe was a terrible talker, he had trouble figuring out how to say what he wanted to say. Hanbin got him, though. In a way that no one else probably ever would.  
  
Junhoe surprised himself by turning and pulling Hanbin into a tight hug, burying his face into Hanbin’s neck. There were so many words welling up in his throat, and even though he wanted to be angry with himself for giving in, he wasn’t surprised with the first ones that came out of his mouth. It was like they’d been bubbling up in his throat all week, and finally he couldn’t hold them in anymore.  
  
“I miss him so much, Bin.”  
  
Normally he’d feel the need to follow it up with an explanation, he wouldn’t stop until he’d made everyone certain that _this is bullshit and I shouldn’t feel this way_ and that _he doesn’t fucking deserve it_ . But he didn’t this time. This time his pride just took a backseat and let his heart spill everything out.  
  
Hanbin didn’t say anything at first, he just tightened his arms around him and patted his back, and Junhoe was grateful for that, too.  
  
Junhoe clung to him for a few minutes and sniffled into his shoulder, and it actually made him feel a little better. He didn’t know how long it would last, but he was relieved to have been able to admit it to Hanbin. He’d probably be mad at himself later, but right now he felt nothing but relief. It was exhausting, carrying feelings around on your own shoulders. Especially ones as heavy as his for Jinhwan. He spent every day continually flipping back and forth between hating Jinhwan and missing him. He hadn’t admitted to anyone other than Yejin that he missed Jinhwan, and it felt good to tell Hanbin finally.  
  
Junhoe eventually sat back up after a few minutes and his sniffling stopped. But he stayed pressed close to Hanbin. Normally he wouldn’t let himself take refuge in physical comfort like this, but he was tired.  
  
Hanbin thought he seemed calm enough to carry on talking. “He misses you too,” is how he started, and when Junhoe didn’t tense up or flinch away he carried on, “he keeps asking me about you, if you’re okay.”  
  
Junhoe felt relieved to hear it. He wanted Jinhwan to miss him, he wanted to know that Jinhwan was feeling bad about it all. He wanted Jinhwan to worry about him. “He should miss me,” he replied in a sulky tone.  
  
“He wants to see you and talk,” Hanbin said, even though he didn’t think Junhoe would agree to it yet. But still, putting the idea in his head would be good.  
  
“I can’t,” Junhoe replied in a weak voice. He wanted to, wanted to see Jinhwan smirking at him in a playful way, wanted to pretend that nothing bad had happened between them. But he didn’t think he’d be able to handle it, wasn’t sure if seeing him again would make him too angry or too weak.  
  
“Ever, or just not right now?” Hanbin knew the answer, but he still wanted Junhoe to say it out loud.  
  
“Not right now.”  
  
But maybe not ever, either.

* * *

  
“Is there something you’re not telling me? Since when have you ever been nervous about competing?”  
  
Jinhwan felt frustrated as he sat before Youngbae. There was a small local tournament happening in a week that he’d known about as soon as he’d been handed his brown belt. But he’d firmly put it out of his head with everything else going on, and now the mere idea of starting over again at the bottom of a new class (and probably getting his ass handed to him in the process) just had him in cold sweats.  
  
There was too much going on and he just wasn’t ready for it.  
  
“This will be a good experience for you, a good opportunity to see where you stack up against a higher rank of competition. You need to pinpoint those weak spots right away so you can start working on them. Now is not the time to back out. I can’t let you do that, not without an acceptable reason.”  
  
Jinhwan had to bite the inside of his cheek to keep from letting out an annoyed huff of breath. This was bullshit, Youngbae couldn’t make him compete if he wasn’t ready for it. All he had to do was just say no.  
  
But he knew he couldn’t do that. He knew he’d just feel like shit if he took that way out. He’d been promoted because Youngbae had deemed him _ready_ for promotion. Backing out of his first tournament at brown belt was telling the opposite story, that he wasn’t ready for it yet.  
  
But he would have been ready had it not been for this whole emotional meltdown lately. At first it had just been because of Junhoe, but all this past week he’d been getting weird vibes from Bobby, almost like he didn’t want to talk to him. He wasn’t sure if it was really that or if he was just feeling so guilty that he was projecting his own concerns on other people.  
  
“Jinhwan? What’s going on with you, huh? Don’t say nothing, because I know that’s obviously not true. Something is going on in your life lately, it’s been affecting you. Are you nervous about moving?”  
  
Jinhwan wanted to blame it on that so bad, and it wouldn’t really be a lie. Moving was half the problem. But it wasn’t everything. But he couldn’t tell Youngbae about his personal life, they didn’t have that close of a relationship.  “There’s just a lot going on right now. I made some bad choices and I’m dealing with the consequences.”  
  
Youngbae nodded, but didn’t ask for any further details. “I understand, but that’s not good enough. Competing always got your mind off of things before, so what’s the hold up this time?”  
  
Jinhwan knew he was just trying to help, but he couldn’t help but feel annoyed right now. “My mind’s just not on fighting.” That wasn’t true at all, but he couldn’t think of anything else to say.  
  
“You’re just afraid of losing, aren’t you? Got used to winning all the time.”  
  
Jinhwan frowned, because there was more truth to that than he wanted to admit. Usually he enjoyed competing because he always felt certain that he’d do well. He was afraid he’d start out losing, though. Normally that wouldn’t be an issue, and he’d welcome seeing how he stacked up against competition directly after graduating up a level. But with everything else going on right now, it was the last thing he needed.  
  
“Unless you can convince me of a good reason for allowing you to pull out of competing, I expect you to be there on Sunday.” Youngbae’s word was final, and Jinhwan knew he really wouldn’t have a choice. The tournament was only for brown and black belt students, so he wouldn’t have a chance of seeing Junhoe, at least. Seeing him probably wouldn’t be the best thing for him anyway, it would just distract him from competition.

* * *

  
“I expect you to address me in a more formal way from now on.”  
  
Junhoe rolled his eyes and sneered. “In your dreams.”  
  
He paid for it with a slap to the back of his head. “Excuse me? I don’t think I heard you properly.”  
  
“I said in your dreams, _hyung.”_  
  
Seungri grinned and laid his arm around Junhoe’s shoulders. “That’s a start, but I expect more, now that I’m a belt higher than you again.”  
  
“Brown’s a good colour for you, hyung,” Junhoe said, arms crossed over his chest.  
  
“I don’t want to hear why you think that, do I?” Seungri teased back, knew some insulting line was coming.  
  
“Because you’re shit.”  
  
Seungri smacked him again.  
  
“Why are you being such a jerk anyway? What did I do to you?” Seungri’s mood was good, though, he wasn’t phased by Junhoe’s grumpy behaviour. Clearly there was something going on with him lately, but Seungri didn’t mind. He was in too good of a mood after his promotion up to brown belt.  
  
“I’m not being a jerk,” Junhoe replied sulkily, “you’re just being obnoxious.”  
  
Seungri wasn’t being obnoxious, Junhoe was just projecting his bad mood on him because he was an easy target. Also because the promotion just made him think about Jinhwan. Seungri was now on Jinhwan’s belt level again. Junhoe felt weird about that, felt like he was being left behind. Which was stupid, because they’d both been training longer than he had, and he was progressing at the correct rate. But with Jinhwan leaving soon, everything felt worse to Junhoe.  
  
“What are you doing on Sunday, by the way? There’s a small local tournament during the day, you should come out and support me.”  
  
Junhoe’s interest perked up at that. “Oh yeah? What tournament is that?”  
  
“You probably didn’t hear about it because it’s just for brown and black belts,” Seungri replied, grinning when Junhoe glowered.  
  
“You don’t want me there, hyung, I’ll cheer on all of your competitors.”  
  
“Yeah you probably would, knowing you. You actually know one of them! Kim Jinhwan, your little boyfriend, right?” Seungri teased, because he didn’t know anything that had gone on between the two of them. He knew Junhoe had trained with Jinhwan a few times, but hadn’t known just how friendly they’d gotten, or how badly it had ended.  
  
Junhoe’s cheeks flushed at the teasing and he made a rash decision. “You know what? I will come and support you, hyung.” Jinhwan wouldn’t be expecting him there, and today Junhoe’s feelings were currently set firmly back in _hating Jinhwan_ mode. If he was lucky, he’d get to watch Jinhwan lose. It would serve him right.  
  
“Really? I was just joking but it would be cool if you came.”  
  
Junhoe nodded, firmly set in his decision. “Yeah. I’ll come watch you. I want to be there to watch you crush Jinhwan.”

* * *

  
“Ah, I wish you’d told me sooner, Jinan, I promised Father Lee I’d help out with the congregation lunch.”  
  
Jinhwan frowned and just barely managed to stop himself before asking Bobby if there was any way he could get out of it. He wasn’t more important than Bobby’s church commitments, and if he asked then he felt like it might only make things worse between he and Bobby. Not that they were bad. He just felt like there was still something between them, some little blockade. If Bobby already had prior commitments, it didn’t mean that he wasn’t willing to come out and support him. It only felt that way because of how things were currently.  
  
“Why don’t you ask Hanbin? I know he has boxing lessons in the morning, I don’t know what time he’s finished. But I’m sure he’d come after he was done. I probably won’t finish in time to make it, but if I do, I’ll come too.”  
  
Jinhwan felt weird about asking Hanbin. He already felt like he was getting too much support from Hanbin as it was. What would Junhoe think if he heard that Hanbin was going out to support him in competition? It would only piss him off, wouldn’t it?  
  
“Jinan? Why didn’t you say anything earlier, by the way? Why are you only asking me now?”  
  
“Honestly I forgot about it until Youngbae brought it up during training. I tried to get out of it, but he won’t let me.” Jinhwan shrugged after the explanation, still feeling sorry for himself, which just made him feel guilty. He didn’t want to make anyone feel bad for him when everything was his fault.  
  
“What do you mean, get out of it? Do you not want to fight?” Bobby asked, curious at Jinhwan’s whole attitude towards it. He’d never once seen Jinhwan anything short of excited at a competition. But he seemed almost afraid of this one, and it lit up a surge of protectiveness that Bobby hadn’t really felt in a while.  
  
Jinhwan shrugged again. “I guess I just don’t feel like I’m ready for it.”  
  
“You’ll be fine, Jinan,” Bobby said, throwing an arm around Jinhwan’s shoulders and pulling him close, “you’re a great fighter, I know you’re starting over again at the bottom, but you’ll climb up to the top quick, right? You always do.”  
  
Jinhwan leaned his head against Bobby’s shoulder, guilty feelings eating away at his mood. He didn’t deserve these nice words from Bobby, not yet. “I guess.”  
  
“Hey, come on, don’t be like this,” Bobby said, concerned with the response, “you can’t go into this thing with that kind of attitude. Remember the first time you competed when you got your purple belt? You were walking around for weeks, confident that you were going to kick everyone’s ass. And yeah, you struggled during the fights, but you still won three of them! You even submitted a senior purple belt in a minute. I remember that, it was crazy.”  
  
Jinhwan remembered it too, but that mindset felt so foreign to him right now, it felt like it had been so long ago that he’d been that person (it hadn’t been long ago at all, he’d felt that way right up until the moment Junhoe erupted at him in anger). He’d been full of vigor and fire, ready to prove himself. Had one breakup really altered his mindset so harshly? Of course it wasn’t just the breakup, it was everything else.  
  
Bobby trying to hype him up both made him feel better _and_ worse. How long was he supposed to let his guilty conscience control him? It had altered him as a person, and he didn’t like the results. But how was he supposed to beat it?  
  
“Jinan-ie?” Bobby inquired, worried about him given the silence. It was unlike Jinhwan. “Are you okay?”  
  
Was he okay? No. Not by a long shot. But he’d abused Bobby’s sympathies too much already.  
  
“Yeah, I’m fine,” he replied, lying through his teeth, “I guess I’m just still feeling a little sensitive about everything, and it’s seeping over into jiu jitsu.”  
  
Bobby wound his other arm around him, hugging him tightly. “You sure you don’t want me to try and get someone else to cover for me on Sunday?”  
  
“No! Do your church thing.” The last thing he wanted was Bobby cancelling plans for him.  
  
“I could get someone to do it, it wouldn’t be a problem.” Bobby couldn’t help but offer. This was weird behaviour for Jinhwan, and he wanted to do whatever he could to help him.  
  
“Don’t you dare, Kim Jiwon,” Jinhwan threatened, “I’ll be fine, I promise. It’s not a big deal, it’s just a small thing, it’s fine.”  
  
“I’d do it for you, you know that, right? If you need me, I’m there.”  
  
Bobby’s voice was so full of genuine concern that it broke Jinhwan a little, and the next thing he knew he was crying into Bobby’s shoulder, letting out all of the compounded emotions he’d been feeling during the past week.  
  
Bobby just hugged him tighter and rubbed his back, waited until he stopped crying before speaking. “What’s going on, Jinan? Is this still about the Junhoe thing? Do you need to talk about it again?”  
  
Jinhwan shook his head, because _this_ wasn’t about Junhoe. He hadn’t just broken down in tears because of Junhoe. “Be honest with me, Jiwon,” Jinhwan said, and Bobby’s eyes widened at hearing his birth name, because Jinhwan never used it unless he was really serious, “are you still mad at me for not telling you about moving earlier?” Jinhwan couldn’t stand having it hover over him still, the feeling that Bobby was holding back from him a little. He had to address it.  
  
Bobby’s expression slid into one of slight discomfort, and he figured it would be good for both of them to talk about this issue again. “No, I’m over that, honestly.” He was over it, though he hadn’t really realized that until now. There were still problems, but that wasn’t one of them.  
  
“Are you sure? Because, this past week,” Jinhwan struggled a little to talk, his throat still constricted, “I just feel like you’ve been giving me the cold shoulder sometimes. Which I can’t blame you for, I deserve it, but I just need to know what you’re thinking, please.”  
  
Bobby’s expression softened. “I’m not mad at you, Jinan-ie,” he started, “I’m just jealous.” Even after talking to his mom and admitting it all, Bobby hadn’t said anything to Jinhwan, hadn’t even said it to Hanbin, he’d just kept the jealous feelings to himself and tried to forge ahead. Apparently he hadn’t been doing as good of a job as he’d thought.  
  
Jinhwan’s mouth fell open in surprise. That hadn’t been the answer he’d been expecting.  
  
Bobby carried on, looking Jinhwan in the eye. “I know you’re nervous about moving, but it’s exciting too, everything we keep looking up is super exciting, and I just, well, I just wish I was going with you. Even just to visit, you know? To see everything we’re looking up. It’s like, I’m helping you to plan all this stuff, and I won’t get to see any of it. I know jealousy is a bad thing, but I can’t help it.”  
  
Jinhwan felt a surge of relief at his explanation. Bobby wasn’t mad at him, wasn’t still carrying that around. “I’m sorry I keep asking for your opinions on things, it can’t be helping.”  
  
Bobby shook his head. “No, no it’s fine! Really, I want to help you. I do, okay? I’m sorry if I’ve been letting my jealousy cloud my excitement for you.”  
  
Jinhwan frowned. “No, don’t apologize, you shouldn’t be apologizing. This is all my fault. I’m sorry I’m making you feel bad about something else.” At least he didn’t feel as bad about this one, because he knew he’d be feeling the same way if situations were reversed, and it wasn’t anything personal.  
  
“You shouldn’t apologize either. How about we both stop apologizing, okay? I’ll be more excited for you, and don’t tell me that I don’t have to,” Bobby said, noticing that Jinhwan was about to interrupt, “the more I keep sulking by myself the worse we both feel. We’ll both feel better if I try to be more excited.”  
  
Jinhwan nodded, even though he still felt a little guilty. “You have a point, I can’t disagree.”  
  
“But you need to stop feeling guilty, at least towards me,” Bobby replied, “I’m not mad at you, so stop thinking that I am. You have enough to worry about, you shouldn’t still be worrying about me. I love you, okay? I’m here for you, for everything. Whenever you need me.”  
  
Jinhwan smiled back at him and hugged him again, feeling better at Bobby’s words. “Love you too.”  
  
Bobby smiled back at him. “Are you sure you don’t need me to change my plans? I know I committed to help at church, but if you need some support, I’ll do it for you. Because you should go, and you should compete.”  
  
Jinhwan shook his head. He was feeling better already. He’d be fine on Sunday. “No, it’s okay, really. I feel a lot better after our talk just now. I think I’ve just been worrying that you were still angry at me, and it was clouding my brain.” He did feel better, but he still didn’t want to compete. It was a little easier to pretend now, though.  
  
“Okay, well, let me know if you change your mind. Do you want me to ask Hanbin if he’ll show up?”  
  
Jinhwan shook his head. “No, it’s okay. I might ask him myself later. I’m just worried about Junhoe finding out about him coming out to support me. I don’t want to cause any problems between them.”  
  
“Well, let him make that decision, okay? He’s been navigating Junhoe his whole life, he’ll know what to do.”  
  
Jinhwan smiled at Bobby’s comment, and agreed that he’d leave it up to Hanbin. That wouldn’t keep him from worrying about it anyway, though.


	48. The Kimura

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Junhoe shows up with Seungri, hoping to throw Jinhwan off his game.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright a quick note: I've added one more chapter. But this is it! 50 is the final count.

Jinhwan sat by himself in the stands, his bag at his feet, just breathing in deep and trying to get his bearings. He was by himself at the moment, waiting for Youngbae to show up. After debating back and forth for a few days, he’d texted Hanbin on Friday and asked him if he was busy and wanted to come and watch him compete. Just as Bobby had predicted, Hanbin said that he had boxing lessons in the morning, but that he’d come by after that, so he’d only miss Jinhwan’s first match. Maybe that was good. Jinhwan was still feeling out of sorts, so he wasn’t sure how well his first match would even go.   
  
His phone buzzed in his hands and he looked down, seeing his mother’s request for a video chat. He accepted it and she popped up in his screen, smiling face beaming back at him. It calmed his nerves.   
  
“Hey, mom,” he greeted, taking comfort in her call.   
  
“Ah, isn’t this weird, Jinan-ie? Your mother calling you to wish you luck before a fight! I’m sad I wasn’t able to come up for it, sweetheart.”   
  
Jinhwan smiled back at her. “It’s okay, I’m happy you called me.” It was good that she wasn’t here, he didn’t want her to see him fighting today, because he doubted he’d do well.   
  
“How are you feeling? Are you nervous? This is your first time competing since you have your new belt, right?”   
  
Jinhwan nodded, pleased that she remembered what he’d told her. “Yeah, I’m starting over again at the bottom, so I’m a little nervous.” At least he could tell her that part.   
  
“Ah, you’ll do well, though! This is your passion, you’re doing what you love. That’s the most important thing, isn’t it? As long as you have a good match and try your best, that’s the important thing. You were used to fighting with expectations, weren’t you? You would go into matches and expect to win, because that’s the level you were at. You don’t have to carry those expectations now. You’re at a new level, give yourself time to grow into it.”   
  
Jinhwan felt a calmness spread over him at her words. She was right, of course. He’d always approached every fight with the expectation of winning, even back when he had no business thinking that way. He was still struggling with it now, but he didn’t have to. If he lost, well, he was fighting at a higher level now. It was only to be expected that his track record wouldn’t be as impressive as it had been the past few years.   
  
“Thanks, mom. That helps.”   
  
She smiled at his response. “Ah, does it really? I worried about what I should say to you, but I guess a mom always knows, doesn’t she?”   
  
Jinhwan grinned and wished she was there with him just so he could hug her. And then send her away in case he tanked in his first fight. “I’ll text you when I finish my first match, okay?”   
  
“Okay, sweetheart. I love you, Jinhwan-ie, I’m very proud of you.”   
  
It felt so nice to hear her say it in relation to jiu jitsu, and he hoped it wouldn’t make him cry. “Thanks, mom. I love you too.”   
  
“You go get warmed up, and don’t stress yourself out over how you do, okay? Winning or losing doesn’t always reflect how well you perform, does it? So don’t worry about winning, just think about fighting well.” He waved goodbye to her before ending the call.   
  
It was funny how things worked out, sometimes. He finally had his mother’s support, but life was messed up and confusing in a multitude of other ways, like the universe had to balance his happiness with negativity. But that was all mental, and he would have to fight to overcome it.   
  
He put his phone away with a slightly more positive outlook. Whatever happened today, he was here, and that was already something to be proud of. He could have wallowed in his confusion and hurt feelings, but he was trying to live around them instead.   
  
When Youngbae arrived a few minutes later, Jinhwan met him with a hug instead of a bow, surprising him.   
  
“I just wanted to say thank you for talking me into coming.” He grinned at the confused expression that Youngbae was still wearing. “I know it must be weird for you, since you’re used to always seeing me excited for competitions.”   
  
Youngbae sat down and patted Jinhwan’s knee. “I know you must be going through something difficult right now, so I understand the shift in your attitude. It happens, we go through things and they disrupt our lives. But if we’re lucky, we have people around us who are willing to remind us of the people we are, underneath it all.”   
  
“So you’re saying I should be thanking you for needling me into coming?” Jinhwan replied teasingly, and Youngbae grinned back at him.   
  
“Absolutely.”    
  


* * *

  
“Why did I ask you to come? Was I feeling alright? Had I just hit my head?”   
  
“I don’t know but you did, so you can’t take it back now, hyung.” Junhoe grinned at Seungri, who dramatically sighed out loud.   
  
“I should have known better. You’d better be nice to me today, June-ya! Support your hyung in peace.”   
  
Junhoe followed him into the venue, tempted to start singing again the way he’d been doing in the car. It was fun to annoy Seungri, they had a good relationship that way. He wasn’t sure why he was in such a good mood. Was he actually happy, or was he just trying to cover up his nerves about seeing Jinhwan face to face again? He still hadn’t decided how to address him. He was thinking of just ignoring him and refusing to greet him.   
  
But that was all supposing that Jinhwan would try to greet him. What if he didn’t? What if he just ignored him? Junhoe wasn’t sure what would be worse. The more he thought about it, the more he wondered if he should be here. What if it somehow ended up hurting Seungri’s performance?   
  
He didn’t know for sure if Seungri would face Jinhwan, but if he did, what if being here would only make Jinhwan fight better? At first he’d been convinced that seeing him would make Jinhwan falter and slip up. But what if the opposite happened?   
  
He was just about to start singing again too mask his nerves when Seungri stopped to read the competitor bracket.   
  
“Oh hey, my first opponent is Jinhwan! What are the chances of that, huh? Got any tips to give me on him?”   
  
Junhoe was shocked into silence for a second, because Jinhwan really was here, and he really would be fighting Seungri, and Junhoe would have to watch them. His eyes traced over Jinhwan’s name on the board. Now was the moment of truth. He was going to see him again. What to do?   
  
He looked at Seungri and started spilling every single tell of Jinhwan’s he’d picked up during their time practicing together. He didn’t think he’d be able to watch Jinhwan beating Seungri, not today, not on the first time that he was seeing him again.   
  
Jinhwan didn’t deserve the victory. Junhoe wanted him to lose.   
  
When he was done talking he followed Seungri into the hall and immediately scanned the small crowd for Jinhwan, stopping in his tracks when he spotted him. Jinhwan was sitting in the stands with his trainer, already dressed in his gi.   
  
It just made Junhoe angry again. Seeing him reminded him of the last time he’d seen Jinhwan, reminded him all over again of the way Jinhwan had lied to him. It also reminded him of the very first time he’d ever met Jinhwan, on the mats. Jinhwan had been arrogant, condescending, and a complete asshole.   
  
How had he ever fallen for him? What kind of magic had Jinhwan cast over him to make him forget everything? Jinhwan was a complete piece of shit, and Junhoe couldn’t wait to watch him lose.   
  
By the time he woke himself out of his stupor and joined Seungri, his teammate noticed the complete change in his demeanour.   
  
“June-ya, what are you grumpy about? I noticed you glaring at Jinhwan over there. I thought you guys were friends? Didn’t you train together with him at his gym?”   
  
Junhoe could feel his face flush at Seungri’s question. “Yeah, well, we  _ were _ friends. We’re not anymore.”   
  
Seungri frowned and looked across the hall at Jinhwan, before looking back at Junhoe. “You came here just to hopefully watch him lose, didn’t you?”   
  
Junhoe was about to say no, he wanted to deny it all. But he shouldn’t care that much, should he? “I came to support you, hyung,” he replied, tearing his eyes off of Jinhwan, “if he happens to lose all his matches today, well, that’s just the icing on the cake.”   
  
Seungri didn’t respond right away, just stared at him long enough to make Junhoe feel uncomfortable and look away. “Way to pile pressure on a guy, June-ya!” Seungri replied teasingly, reaching out to ruffle Junhoe’s hair. “I promise I’ll try my best to properly kick his ass then, and grant you some vengeance.”   
  
Junhoe shook his head, but in reality he was grateful to Seungri. Maybe it wasn’t serious to him at all, but to Junhoe it was.   
  


* * *

  
Jinhwan hadn’t noticed Junhoe coming in, busy discussing his upcoming move with Youngbae. He didn’t notice Junhoe until midway through a sentence about California beaches, and his thought died on his tongue. Why was Junhoe here? He wasn’t competing.   
  
Had Hanbin told him? Jinhwan didn’t want to believe that he might be so lucky, but he wouldn’t put it past Hanbin to try and arrange a meet up for them like this. Was Junhoe close to forgiving him? Had he come just to wish him well? Jinhwan couldn’t look away, not even when Youngbae prompted him to carry on with his sentence. His brain was stuck on Junhoe.   
  
“Jinhwan-ah? Did you just shut down completely on me?” Youngbae nudged him again, and this time Jinhwan finally tore his eyes off of Junhoe.   
  
“Ah, I’m sorry, I just got distracted.” He shouldn’t have stared so openly like that. What was he thinking?   
  
“What grabbed your attention so tightly?” Youngbae asked, and Jinhwan wasn’t even sure how to respond.   
  
“Ah, I just saw a friend,” suddenly the word felt weird on his tongue, because he didn’t know if he could even call Junhoe that anymore.   
  
“Oh, isn’t that the boy you trained with a few times? You fought him too, didn’t you? A few months ago, I remember the blonde hair.”   
  
Jinhwan nodded, and he hoped he wasn’t blushing. “Yeah, Koo Junhoe.”   
  
“Ah, right. Why don’t you go and say hello, then? He’s not a brown belt as well, is he? I don’t recall seeing his name.”   
  
Jinhwan shook his head. “No, he’s still purple. I don’t really know what he’s doing here.”   
  
“Well, go ask. Why are you so reluctant?” Youngbae teased him, but Jinhwan was afraid of going over to him. If Junhoe was here for him, shouldn’t he have come over to him by now? Shouldn’t he have looked around for him?   
  
Almost as though Junhoe could feel the weight of Jinhwan’s stare he finally looked up, meeting Jinhwan’s gaze from across the room.   
  
And from the narrowed eyes and half sneering expression, Jinhwan’s heart shrivelled up in his chest.   
  
Junhoe was clearly not here to make amends with him.   
  
Jinhwan excused himself and fled to the hallway, holding his expression neutral until he found a bathroom. Luckily there was no one inside the room and he stood by the sink, his breath coming out in shuddering waves as he tried to fight off tears.   
  
Junhoe’s expression had been  _ hateful, _ like he wanted nothing more than to see Jinhwan ground into dust. Hadn’t Hanbin said that Junhoe was getting better? If this was  _ better, _ how much worse had it been before?   
  
Unless Hanbin was lying. Unless Hanbin secretly hated him too, and had only been playing polite for Bobby’s sake. What if Hanbin had told Junhoe about today, and had sent Junhoe himself just to throw Jinhwan off his game? What if they’d planned it? What if Hanbin did show up later, but went to sit with Junhoe so they could gloat over Jinhwan’s failing together?   
  
Jinhwan pulled his phone out of his pocket and was halfway through typing a message to Hanbin, demanding the truth, before he made himself stop.   
  
Hanbin wasn’t like that. No one could pull off being that two-faced.   
  
But why hadn’t Hanbin warned him that Junhoe was coming? He must have known. Jinhwan started typing a new message, asking him exactly that, but he hesitated again before sending it.   
  
Maybe Hanbin didn’t know that Junhoe was coming. Junhoe had been sitting with someone else, some other guy in a gi. Then Jinhwan remembered Junhoe having mentioned a guy he trained with, Seungri, wasn’t it? Had Seungri been promoted, then? Maybe he’d invited Junhoe to come watch?   
  
Jinhwan deleted the message he’d typed and stood by the sink, trying to get his breathing under control. He needed to talk to someone, needed to calm down. He couldn’t call Hanbin, because Hanbin was already too embroiled in the situation, and it wasn’t right for Jinhwan to lean on him after what he’d done to Junhoe.   
  
He thought about calling Bobby, even though he knew that Bobby was busy. He’d still check his phone, though, and Jinhwan knew that if he  _ really _ needed to talk to Bobby, he’d answer. But Bobby already had commitments, and Jinhwan couldn’t put himself ahead of them.   
  
He couldn’t call his own mother, because she didn’t know about his relationship woes and he didn’t want to burden her with them when she wasn’t able to be here with him. Bobby’s mom? She knew about everything, knew how much he was struggling with everything.   
  
But he felt bad, because he knew that his actions had really hurt Bobby, and he knew that Bobby talked to his mom about it often enough. He felt bad about expecting her to help him with his own struggles too.   
  
Eric? But that might just dredge up too many memories that neither of them would want to revisit.   
  
He couldn’t think of anyone to help him through this particular moment in time, so instead he just stood by the sink and did his best to try and calm himself down. He splashed some cold water on his face and closed his eyes. He took slow, deep breaths in and out.   
  
He was okay. Junhoe’s arrival had just caught him off guard, seeing him again in person had just sparked a dangerously short fuse that had gone off instantly without warning. He wasn’t this weak, he’d just been having a very tumultuous time lately. He flipped out because he’d needed to, in the moment. He’d needed to release all of that pent up emotional turmoil.   
  
He was better now, after freaking out for a few minutes.   
  
Junhoe clearly didn’t want to talk to him today, so Jinhwan could just go back out and ignore him, and everything would be okay. Well, maybe not  _ okay _ but it would be tolerable. He’d ignore Junhoe, and he’d focus on the sport. Real life had been distracting him from jiu jitsu. Now he needed jiu jitsu to distract him from real life.   
  


* * *

  
Jinhwan rejoined Youngbae just in time for the first match to get underway, and while Youngbae gave him a confused and questioning stare, he didn’t ask for details when Jinhwan refused to give them. Instead they watched the match together and Jinhwan clung to the conversation, trying to get himself focused on the sport. But he kept glancing in Junhoe’s direction without meaning to.   
  
Junhoe actually seemed to be enjoying himself, laughing with Seungri and watching the fight with a gleam in his eye that Jinhwan could see from across the room.   
  
That was the Junhoe he sorely missed, and it hurt him to see Junhoe acting so normal without him. He’d expected Junhoe to be grumpy, and angry, and someone that no one would want to be around. But there he was, being all chummy with someone else, and Jinhwan could feel the prick of jealousy as he watched them. He’d had that, once, he’d been the one sitting with Junhoe, cracking jokes and discussing fights. Now Junhoe had someone else.   
  
Jinhwan watched them again, more closely, wondering… Seungri was actually a fairly attractive guy. Junhoe wasn’t into him, was he? What if he’d come to flaunt this  _ relationship _ of his (whatever it was, friendship or more) in Jinhwan’s face, just to hopefully upset him? Because while he knew all about Junhoe’s good side, he also knew about Junhoe’s bad side, and he wouldn’t put it past Junhoe to do something like that if he was feeling vindictive.   
  
And he would have to fight Seungri soon enough. Had Junhoe told him everything about him? Had he given him tips? Told him what to watch out for?   
  
He probably had. They’d trained together often enough for Junhoe to have picked up on a lot of his habits. He’d probably told Seungri about them all, probably because he wanted to watch Jinhwan lose, while sitting right at ringside.   
  
Jinhwan thought back to the first time they’d ever faced each other. He’d been a complete jerk to Junhoe, though he’d done it because he’d thought that Junhoe had deserved it. He’d thought he’d known what sort of person Junhoe was.   
  
Things would be so different if it hadn’t been for Bobby and Hanbin. If they hadn’t met, then Junhoe would have remained just another competitor to him, he would have remained that bratty asshole he’d initially thought he was, and Jinhwan probably would have forgotten all about him by now.   
  
While Jinhwan moped on the other side of the gym, Junhoe was enjoying himself with Seungri. The first match was actually rather good, and he focused on it. But every now and then he looked across at Jinhwan. He couldn’t tell for sure, but he thought that Jinhwan seemed very reserved, very unlike his usual self. Jinhwan used to walk around with a cocky strut, but today there was none of that behaviour.   
  
He almost seemed like he was afraid to be here. Or worried. Whatever it was, Junhoe hoped it was at least partly because he was here. Jinhwan had no way of knowing he’d be showing up, so it had been a huge shock for him, and Junhoe hadn’t felt so pleased with himself in a while.   
  
Jinhwan should be feeling like crap.   
  
They sat through another match before it was finally time for Seungri to face Jinhwan, and Junhoe felt like he was buzzing with excitement. He thought about that first time he’d faced Jinhwan, when he’d thought he’d crush him because of how short he was. Jinhwan had been such an asshole after both of his victories. Junhoe really hoped that Seungri could take him down with all the tips he’d given him.   
  
It wasn’t cheating, either, if you watched someone fight often enough, you’d notice their habits. It was like watching any sport, really. Statisticians existed and kept track of this type of stuff. Junhoe was just sharing his information with a teammate.   
  
Seungri stood up to start stretching and Junhoe snuck one final glance at Jinhwan before clapping Seungri on the back.   
  
“Kick his ass, hyung, remember everything I told you!”   
  
Seungri grinned at him. “I will. If I beat him, I’ll take you out for dinner after, how does that sound?”   
  
Junhoe grinned back. “It better be somewhere nice.”   
  
Jinhwan was trying to psych himself up for the match, but he wasn’t having much luck. The longer he’d sat there waiting (and watching Junhoe) the worse he’d felt. He kept trying to remind himself that he had to let jiu jitsu distract him from his own thoughts, he had to clear his head and only think about the sport.   
  
But the sport was tied to someone who absolutely loathed him right now, and that person was sitting across from him, supporting his competitor. Jinhwan wasn’t sure how he was going to get through the match.   
  
He stood in front of Youngbae and suddenly had a flashback to his first competition, when he’d been a tiny little white belt, with his grandfather. Before he’d gained all the confidence, before he’d known that this was something he would grow to be really good at. He’d been nervous then, afraid of performing poorly. He had the same feeling now, the same fear of failure, of disappointing someone who expected him to do well.   
  
It was the worst way to go into a match, with no way to see how you’d possibly get through it. It was like driving to a new destination that you’d never been to before without directions. You  _ could _ do it, if you were lucky, but you had no idea how it was going to happen.   
  
He didn’t have too long to contemplate it before they were called onto the mat and Jinhwan took a deep and steadying breath as he stood before Seungri and the official. Seungri had a few inches on him, with a stockier build. Jinhwan looked him over, thought he had sturdier legs than Junhoe had. He was probably stronger, overall, than Junhoe had been. But Jinhwan had fought guys like him before, fought bigger guys than him. He knew how to fight for his size.   
  
But Junhoe knew that, and Junhoe had probably told Seungri everything. They shook hands and bowed, and Jinhwan was surprised when Seungri tried to joke around with him.   
  
“So, you’re Kim Jinhwan, huh? I don’t know what you did to my dongsaeng, but apparently I’m supposed to exact revenge.”   
  
There was a playful sparkle in Seungri’s eye, and Jinhwan was pretty sure that he probably didn’t mean anything by the comment, but he couldn’t help but take it personally, and take it poorly. It also meant that Junhoe was here specifically to throw him off his game and hopefully watch him lose.   
  
Jinhwan spared Junhoe one last look, even though he knew it was a terrible idea. Junhoe’s eyes were on him, of course, full of fire and condemnation. It was what he deserved.   
  
He wasn’t ready when the official called for the match to begin, and it showed. Seungri easily rolled him and achieved rear guard, and Jinhwan felt like he was scrambling for the rest of the match to keep up. Seungri used his size to his advantage, and every time Jinhwan tried to recover, Seungri was there to counter it. Jinhwan narrowly managed to escape from no less than two arm bars, a knee lock, and twice Seungri nearly got him in a rear naked choke.   
  
The whistle for the end of the first round couldn’t come soon enough for Jinhwan. He remained on the mat on his knees for a few seconds, struggling to catch his breath. He’d never been so entirely dominated before in a match.   
  
He didn’t realize he’d gotten to his feet, not until Youngbae’s hands were on his shoulders, calling for his attention.   
  
“Jinhwan,” Youngbae’s voice cut through his haze, and Jinhwan swallowed nervously before looking him in the eyes, “I’ve never seen you look so sloppy before, what’s going on out there?”   
  
Jinhwan took a steadying breath and just had to own up to it. “I’m sorry.” He had nothing to say, no way to explain his complete lapse in ability that didn’t include admitting to Junhoe’s presence being a huge distraction.   
  
“You completely flubbed that first round. I know you’re better than that,  _ you _ know you’re better than that. Wake up and focus. You keep walking into everything he throws at you, you need to smarten up.”   
  
Jinhwan nodded, because Youngbae was right. He needed to put everything out of his head and think about the fight, he needed to focus on the match and pay attention to Seungri.   
  
They got back on the mat and Jinhwan tried to focus, tried to block everything out of his mind. It worked for a bit, Seungri went on the attack right away and managed to flip Jinhwan onto his back, but Jinhwan scrambled out of it and turned it into a side mount. Seungri immediately pushed his arm out and went for a lock, as though he were attempting a kimura. But instead of going for the lock in that position Seungri used his bigger size to his advantage and rolled Jinhwan over onto his back, sitting up to apply an intense amount of pressure to Jinhwan’s arm.   
  
Jinhwan was stuck. There was no getting out of the arm lock, Seungri had it held far too tight. He couldn’t see the clock but the second round hadn’t been going for that long. There was no way he could ride out the next few minutes, his shoulder was practically screaming at him.   
  
He had no choice but to tap.   
  
It felt surreal, lying there after Seungri let him go. He hadn’t tapped out in a match in such a long time, his defense was always too strong. But Seungri had just tapped him like it had been nothing, like he was the instructor displaying a move to students and using Jinhwan as his partner.   
  
He wanted to continue laying there for the whole day, didn’t want to move, didn’t want to face anyone. But he pushed himself up to his knees, and then to his feet, and for the first time in a long time, he felt like a kid. Everyone always told him that he looked younger than he was, and today he  _ felt _ younger than he was.   
  
Seungri clapped a hand on his shoulder and Jinhwan felt like apologizing, but he couldn’t make himself speak.   
  
“Ah, Jinhwan-ssi, I hope we have a chance to fight again some other time, when you’re feeling better. You really seemed like you were off your game today, I’m sure you can do better.” Seungri’s tone was truly regretful, and it just made Jinhwan feel worse. He’d just wasted Seungri’s time, by giving him such a poor fight.   
  
“Thank you for your kind words, Seungri-ssi.” Jinhwan choked the words out, still not able to verbalize an apology. He glanced past Seungri and his eyes fell on Junhoe. Their gazes met and the look of smug satisfaction on Junhoe’s face hurt him to see. Junhoe had enjoyed it, watching him flounder and show a poor version of himself.   
  
Jinhwan felt numb as he walked back to Youngbae, and together they left the gym. Jinhwan knew a lecture was coming and he knew that he deserved it.   
  
“You know that I very rarely have anything to scold you for,” Youngbae started, arms crossed over his chest, “ever since you began training with me, you have consistently been one of the strongest, most focused fighters I’ve worked with. Usually my complaints are for showboating, or not taking weaker opponents seriously. But this, today, I almost find myself at a loss for what to say to you.”   
  
Jinhwan couldn’t even look at him, he felt too ashamed.   
  
“A very big part of promotion up to senior belt levels doesn’t lie simply with technique. I’ve had talented fighters before who I have refused to promote up because of their lacking attitudes. I had honestly thought that you were ready for this, I thought you had matured in the past few months. But I think now that perhaps I was a little too hasty in my decision.”   
  
Jinhwan hadn’t expected that part, and his eyes shot up to Youngbae’s, and he felt like throwing up when he saw the look of intense disappointment.   
  
“I think I made a mistake in promoting you. I don’t think you were ready, I think I just hadn’t challenged you hard enough. What do you think?”   
  
What was he supposed to say? He wanted to dispute Youngbae, but how could he prove himself when he’d just delivered the worst fight of his life?   
  
“Jinhwan? Convince me that I didn’t make a mistake.” Youngbae’s voice was as hard as his expression, as tense as his body language.   
  
Jinhwan’s fingers fidgeted behind his back. “I apologize for my poor performance today. I’ve just been having a very tough time personally, and I wasn’t able to overcome that today.”   
  
Youngbae shook his head. “I would have accepted that from you a belt level ago, but I told you, specifically, that unless you had a good reason, that I couldn’t let you skip these fights. Just using the blanket statement that you’re having a tough time personally doesn’t tell me anything. It just sounds like a poor excuse you’d use to get out of turning in your homework at school. You’re one level away from being a black belt, Jinhwan, one level. Do you think this behaviour is appropriate? You are supposed to be setting an example for junior fighters. Are you telling me that you really can’t clear your head for fifteen minutes?”   
  
Jinhwan tried to keep the eye contact between them, but he couldn’t, and he looked away.   
  
“You did not act like a brown belt today, Jinhwan. I hope you don’t think I’m being harsh. You embarrassed yourself with that fight, and in turn you embarrassed me. I don’t take kindly to that.”   
  
Jinhwan nodded and bit the inside of his cheek. He just had to accept the scolding. He had to accept it, and he had to do better in his next fight.   
  
“You know that I have to hold you to a higher standard now, and you should be holding yourself to that same standard. You have two more matches today, so I expect you to pull yourself together. I know you can, Jinhwan. Your self control is lacking today, so you must find it within yourself to gain it back. Your problems aren’t going anywhere. Whatever is bothering you will still be there when your fights are over. Now you have to learn to live with them, and not against them.”   
  
Jinhwan nodded and managed to look him in the eyes again. It had been a harsh lecture, but he knew it was deserved. He could make all the excuses he wanted, but Youngbae was right. He was too high up now for  _ excuses. _ He should be able to focus solely on the fights without distraction, that was the example he had to set.   
  
Youngbae left him alone for a few minutes, and Jinhwan sat on the floor to gather his thoughts.   
  


* * *

  
Junhoe sat by himself while Seungri went to the bathroom, eyes on his phone. He’d recorded Seungri tapping Jinhwan out, and he was replaying it now with a growing sense of satisfaction. It served Jinhwan right, being embarrassed like that. He’d seemed to be sorely out of his element. Just like that first match of theirs, when Junhoe had lost spectacularly to Jinhwan.   
  
Karmic retribution. Jinhwan had gotten exactly what he’d deserved.   
  
Junhoe wished he’d still been recording when Jinhwan had looked at him, his eyes full of hurt and disappointment. Was that how he’d looked when Jinhwan had told him about his move? Did that expression haunt Jinhwan in his sleep? He hoped it did. Now Jinhwan would be haunted by his own failings too, and Junhoe felt happy about it.   
  
He watched as Jinhwan’s trainer came back in to take a seat, but he didn’t see Jinhwan following him. He was probably off in some empty corridor crying about his poor performance. Junhoe was almost tempted to go and look for him just to rub it all in his face.   
  
He watched the video again. He was happy, but there was also a niggling voice at the back of his head, one that warned him against being happy at someone else’s misfortune.   
  
_ How would you feel if someone had filmed you getting choked out by Jinhwan? _ It had Hanbin’s voice, annoyingly enough. And it was different, anyway. He hadn’t done anything to Jinhwan, not back then, and not since. Jinhwan had been the one who’d hurt him. So Jinhwan deserved to be mocked for his loss.   
  
Junhoe was almost tempted to send the video to Jinhwan, because he still had his phone number memorized. But he didn’t. Maybe that would be pushing it a little too far.   
  


* * *

  
Jinhwan was back beside Youngbae after ten minutes, and the first thing he’d done was check his phone. Hanbin had sent him a message, saying that he was done with boxing and was on his way. Jinhwan had messaged him back to tell him that Junhoe was here, and that if he didn’t want to come, he’d understand. He didn’t tell Hanbin how the morning had gone, but it was enough of a hint for Hanbin to figure out that Junhoe must not have been pleasant towards him.   
  
But Hanbin had just jokingly replied that he’d go and buy himself a face mask and a hat to cover up. Jinhwan still felt wary, because he hated to think of how Junhoe would react to Hanbin showing up here for him. He didn’t want to fuel another fight between them.   
  
When Hanbin arrived Jinhwan excused himself to go and meet him in the hall, unaware that Junhoe had decided to follow him out. Junhoe did have to go to the bathroom anyway, but he was tempted to see Jinhwan and make a cutting remark to his face. Just once. Just to see him up close.   
  
He was surprised when Jinhwan left through the front door, though. Where was he going? Maybe Bobby had come to watch him, and Jinhwan was going out to meet him? Junhoe paused just far away enough to be able to watch, and what he saw shocked him. It wasn’t Bobby who’d come. It was Hanbin.   
  
The first thing Hanbin did when he saw Jinhwan was pull him into a hug. Jinhwan had thought he’d done a good job at masking his emotions, but apparently Hanbin had read it on him anyway. Jinhwan was grateful for it, and he dropped his head against Hanbin’s shoulder, arms tight around his back.   
  
Hanbin had been concerned when Jinhwan had told him that Junhoe was here, and he had contemplated not coming after all. But Junhoe had purposefully not told him what he was doing today, probably to stop Hanbin from lecturing him about his idea to come here to throw Jinhwan off. So if Junhoe was upset, Hanbin could at least throw that back at him.   
  
Besides, he was also coming today as a favour to Bobby, who’d asked him if he was able to show up. Bobby wanted to come, but he was busy, so Hanbin had promised him that he’d stay with Jinhwan and help to cheer him up if he was having a tough time. Which he clearly was.   
  
“How’d your match go? Did you lose?” Hanbin finally pulled back, but he kept his hands on Jinhwan’s arms.   
  
Jinhwan frowned and shook his head. “It was the worst fight I’ve ever had, honestly I looked terrible. I looked like an idiot, I just couldn’t focus.”   
  
“Shit, what happened? Did Junhoe throw you off?”   
  
Jinhwan hated the excuse, but he needed to talk about it, just to get it off his chest. “I was already feeling off, but seeing him here just made it worse. He kept glaring at me, and the first guy I fought was someone he trains with at his club.”   
  
“Seungri hyung?” Hanbin asked, and he felt even worse for Jinhwan now. He liked Seungri, many times they teased Junhoe together, but it must have been tough for Jinhwan to face that. It also explained why Junhoe was here.   
  
“Yeah. He was really nice, but I’m sure Junhoe told him everything about me, and he even knew that I’d hurt Junhoe. He joked that he was supposed to get revenge for him. But I just fought so poorly, I feel sorry to him. Like I just wasted his time, you know?”   
  
Hanbin nodded. “Yeah, I understand that. I’m sorry you’ve had such a tough morning, and I’m sorry that Junhoe came to bother you. He’d seemed better the last time I talked to him, but, well he keeps switching between being angry and being sad, and I guess he’s in an angry phase. I’m sorry I couldn’t warn you, I didn’t know he was coming today.”   
  
“No, don’t apologize, Hanbin. He’s your best friend, so you shouldn’t be worrying about me anyway. Are you still sure you want him to see you here with me?”   
  
Hanbin shook his head. “Hyung, you’re my friend too, and even though you are in the wrong, I won’t ignore you just because Junhoe is angry. He knows that. He knows that I still talk to you and that I’m not mad at you, so seeing me here with you won’t ruin anything between us. I mean, he deliberately didn’t tell me he was coming today, so it’s his own fault, really. He ditched me to come and bother you, so it’s only fair.”   
  
Jinhwan felt grateful to Hanbin, but he was still wary. He’d ruined so much already. “Alright, if you’re sure. I appreciate your friendship, Hanbin. In case I haven’t told you that already. I’m lucky to have you.” Jinhwan hugged him again, and by the time they pulled apart he did feel better. Maybe he’d just needed to verbally admit how much Junhoe being here was bothering him, because his head felt clearer already.   
  
“Let’s go in? When’s your next fight?” They walked up the steps towards the door, and only when they got inside did they see Junhoe standing there, leaning against the wall, angry eyes on Hanbin.   
  
Hanbin didn’t even cringe, though. “Before you say anything, you can’t be mad at me for being here with Jinhwan hyung.”   
  
Junhoe’s eyes narrowed even further. Like hell he couldn’t be mad! “You keep telling me you’re on my side, Hanbin, but then you keep supporting Jinhwan too. It’s bullshit.”   
  
Hanbin stood his ground, though. “I asked you what you were doing today, and you purposefully didn’t tell me you were coming here. You just said you were busy, and then you refused to tell me with what. What am I supposed to do, hang out by myself when you’re not available?”   
  
Junhoe shook his head, but then he thought about the video, and he smiled. “Whatever, it’s no big deal, I guess. It’s just unfortunate that you weren’t here to see Jinhwan get destroyed by Seungri hyung. But that’s okay too, because I took a video of him tapping out, so you can watch it later.” Junhoe grinned and looked past Hanbin to Jinhwan, who almost looked a little annoyed, now. Good. Junhoe was getting tired of him pulling his sad face, like he was trying to be a victim. Jinhwan was the perpetrator, he didn’t want anyone to forget that.   
  
Hanbin shook his head and locked eyes with Junhoe. At least Junhoe didn’t look angry anymore. He was about to say something else but Junhoe spoke up again.   
  
“Stay with Jinhwan, he’s going to need someone to cry to when he loses his next two matches. I’ll see you later.” Junhoe spun on his heel and marched back to the gym, leaving Hanbin and Jinhwan standing together.   
  
Jinhwan sighed and looked at Hanbin. “Are you sure you want to stay?”   
  
Hanbin grinned at him and put an arm around his shoulders. “I have to stay, now, he just told me to. Actually, you know, this is good. If he was really mad at me, he’d have barged in on us outside and yelled at me without giving me a chance to say anything. But he was surprisingly calm, given the situation. It’s good, that means he’s at least thinking rationally. Well, rationally for him.”   
  
Jinhwan frowned, still confused about Hanbin’s response. How many outbursts had Hanbin put up with from Junhoe over the years to judge this as a good result? It was almost kind of funny, really.   
  
“Alright, if you’re sure. I just feel bad about putting you in a tough spot. I just feel like this is karma, you know? I hurt a bunch of people, and now I’m getting destroyed. Honestly, Seungri kicked my ass, I’ve never lost so badly before. I guess the universe wanted to punish me for what happened.”   
  
Hanbin was silent for a moment before answering. “Hyung, respectfully, that’s bullshit. The universe doesn’t punish you for making a mistake. It’s all about intention, and you didn’t do anything in this situation with the intention to hurt anyone. You were trying to protect yourself, it’s normal. You screwed up, but karma isn’t punishing you. You’re punishing yourself. You lost because you let yourself be distracted by your emotions and your thoughts. But you can tune it all out too, if you have to. There’s no easy way to do it, you just have to do it.”   
  
It was similar to what Youngbae had said. That he, essentially, had caused himself to fail. It wasn’t so much that Seungri had beaten him, but he’d beaten himself.   
  
“Thanks, Hanbin-ah,” Jinhwan said, and he hugged him again. Hanbin had a way of cutting through the bullshit and saying what needed to be said.   
  
“You’re welcome, hyung,” Hanbin replied. His phone buzzed then, and he took it out to see a message from Junhoe. He took a deep breath before opening it.   
  
_ -do what u want but u better have my back if anything happens _ _  
_ _ -thats ll im saying ok? _ _  
_ _ -ur my best friend bin so dont make me regret it _   
  
Hanbin grinned at the messages, hearing them in Junhoe’s grumpy voice. But this was exactly what he’d been talking about earlier. This, right here, was growth on Junhoe’s part. Normally he’d have demanded that Hanbin only take his side, but he was actually giving his acceptance, though grudgingly, for Hanbin to stay with Jinhwan. This was huge for Junhoe. Hanbin texted him back.   
  
_ -wow i am impressed koo junhoe youre so polite to let me make my own decisions wow thank you such a kind hearted person _   
  
Hanbin knew that Junhoe would pick up on the amused sarcasm, because that was how they operated. Hanbin couldn’t  _ seriously _ tell Junhoe he was proud of him. But he could joke about it, and Junhoe would get it.   
  
_ -get fucked hanbin _   
  
Hanbin grinned at the response, tempted to make a joke but deciding against it given Junhoe’s current situation.   
  
_ -you wanna go get food after this thing is done? listening to you whine like a baby always makes me hungry _   
  
Junhoe’s initial reply was a single angry emoji, but it made Hanbin laugh. But then Junhoe replied and Hanbin knew they were okay.   
  
_ -u can buy me food tomoro cause hyung is gonna take me for bbq after today ok id invite u but u have ur own hyung u traitor _   
  
Junhoe wasn’t taking it personally, and Hanbin knew that was a good sign. If Seungri kept winning and Junhoe stayed in a good mood, he might even be able to say goodbye to Jinhwan without being rude.   
  
Maybe. Hanbin was going to try willing it into reality through his thoughts alone.


	49. Passing The Guard

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Seungri and Junhoe have their dinner after the tournament. Hanbin gets Jinhwan the only thing he wants for his birthday.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're so near the end! Only one chapter left after this!
> 
> Or is there?
> 
> I might have an announcement to make next week. Maybe. We'll see. ;)

“Wow, I can’t believe you just ordered the most expensive thing on here,” Seungri shook his head as the waiter walked away.   
  
“I gave you my entire day, hyung, I deserve proper payment for it.” Junhoe grinned and leaned back in the booth.   
  
Seungri glared at him. “Yeah, remind me to never ever do that again.”   
  
“Oh come on, hyung,” Junhoe replied, “you enjoyed having me around today, didn’t you?”   
  
Seungri frowned. “Tolerated is the word you’re looking for, June-ya. I tolerated you.”   
  
“You loved it,” Junhoe countered, “you know I make the best jokes, you were laughing all day.”   
  
“Yeah, I was laughing  _ at _ you, not  _ with _ you,” Seungri replied, but he didn’t mean it. He really had enjoyed having Junhoe around. At tournaments when the whole club went, Junhoe usually sat away from the group with Hanbin. Seungri hadn’t realized how hilarious Junhoe could be at those things.   
  
“I can’t believe you’re sitting there, lying to my face,” Junhoe said, faking a look of hurt, “my favourite hyung. I enjoyed spending all this time with you today, and when I express it to you, all you do is say that you didn’t cherish our time together. It makes me sad.”   
  
Seungri couldn’t stop the laughter from bubbling up and Junhoe immediately joined in, and for a moment they both laughed loud like hyenas, only quieting when they received withering glares from a nearby pair of old ladies. Seungri kicked Junhoe under the table.   
  
“Be quiet, brat, you’re annoying the ahjummas.”   
  
Junhoe had to look away and press his fist to his mouth to try and keep quiet. He was in such a good mood after the day, which he was honestly a little surprised about. It was like watching Jinhwan lose so spectacularly in that first match had been a soothing balm for the rest of the day. Even watching Hanbin sit with Jinhwan hadn’t dampened his spirits. Hanbin just had a thing about trying to help those less fortunate than him, like people who couldn’t stand to walk by a chained up dog without stooping down to pet it for five minutes.   
  
Jinhwan had looked like a pathetic little puppy dog, and of course Hanbin had fallen for it. Hook, line, sinker.   
  
Junhoe didn’t begrudge him his time spent with Jinhwan. He’d had an enjoyable time with Seungri, after all. Hanbin could have his puppy dog time.   
  
Seungri had won his second match, and though he’d lost the third one on points, he’d done very well, so they were both in good moods. He’d watched Jinhwan’s fights (though he’d pretended not to care) and while Jinhwan hadn’t quite recovered his usual form, he hadn’t embarrassed himself like he had in the first fight. He’d lost his second on points (though it had been decently close) and had won his third with an early submission that had put a smile on his face.   
  
Junhoe had also smiled at first while watching him, until he remembered that he hated Jinhwan.   
  
During the moments when Jinhwan was occupied, Hanbin had come over to sit with Junhoe and Seungri, and that had been enough to prove to Junhoe that Hanbin was still  _ his. _ Part of being a good best friend was recognizing when your best friend  _ needed _ to do something, and for whatever reason, Hanbin needed to be nice to Jinhwan. Junhoe had decided to live with that.   
  
Junhoe wasn’t about to thank him for, it though. It’s not like he was worried about Jinhwan, deep down or anything. Maybe he missed him (sometimes) but that was only when he was feeling weak. Which wasn’t often, or anything.   
  
The waitress brought them drinks and Junhoe took a sip of his Pepsi before noticing that Seungri was staring at him, like he was debating whether or not he was going to ask him a question.   
  
“Stare all you want, hyung, you’ll never be as handsome as me.” Junhoe teased, and while Seungri grinned, he didn’t stop staring.   
  
“I keep thinking about you today,” Seungri started, and Junhoe felt a little worried about where he was going, “sure, you were in a good mood most of the time. But I’m just curious about this whole Jinhwan situation.”   
  
And there it was. Junhoe kept his expression neutral as he replied. “What about it?”   
  
“What happened between you two? What did he do to make you so angry?” Seungri asked, eyes never leaving Junhoe’s face.   
  
Junhoe couldn’t keep his gaze, though, and he looked at the wall, trying his best to not sound upset. “It’s nothing, we just aren’t friends anymore.”   
  
Seungri shook his head, like he didn’t buy it. “Come on, something bad happened. I’ve known you long enough, June-ya. You’re not a hateful person. You like to pretend that you are, you hide behind this persona of someone who’s cold, aloof, and arrogant. But I know it’s not really you. You’re really a goofy kid who likes to laugh, and you like to make other people laugh.”   
  
“What’s your point?” Junhoe replied, his tone clipped and annoyed, the way it got every time someone asked him a question about something he didn’t want to talk about.   
  
“My point is that I’ve seen you talk about people you don’t like before, and you’re never like you were today. You mock people you don’t like, you laugh at them and insult them. But you’re not bothered by them. They don’t make you angry.”   
  
“I mock you all the time, hyung, I guess you should take the hint, huh?” Junhoe snapped back, because he was wary of what Seungri was saying. He thought he’d been careful today. He thought he’d done a decent job of pretending to not care about Jinhwan.   
  
Seungri ignored the jab. “Nearly every time you looked at Jinhwan, you had this look of intense hatred in your eyes, like you wanted to walk over there and snap his neck. But there were a few times when I caught you smiling at him, briefly. Almost like you forgot in the moment that you didn’t like him anymore.”   
  
_ Shit. _ How had Seungri seen that? How had Junhoe not noticed him noticing? Had he just been too focused on pretending to ignore Jinhwan, that instead he’d given him the majority of his attention?   
  
“Junhoe? What happened between you two? How did you go from training with him at his club for weeks on end to hating him? What did he do?”   
  
Junhoe panicked because he didn’t want to talk about it. He couldn’t tell Seungri the truth. It just wasn’t worth rehashing. “Nothing happened, okay? We’re just not friends.”   
  
“Why don’t you want to tell me? I’m your hyung, you can talk to me about this kind of stuff. Maybe I could help.”   
  
Junhoe frowned and gripped his glass tightly in one hand, the other hand balling into a fist on his leg. “It’s none of your business, hyung.”   
  
“It is so my business,” Seungri shot back, “this is serious, I’ve never seen you like this before. I’m worried about you.”   
  
_ No, no, no. _ He was  _ not _ going to get suckered into Seungri’s attempts at concern. No way. Not happening. “Look, he’s just an asshole, okay? And today he got what he had coming to him.”   
  
“What do you mean, he got what he had coming to him? What the hell did he do? I didn’t think it was this serious at first today, but you’re really upset. Why don’t you want to talk about it? I saw Hanbin sitting with him today. Why is Hanbin still friends with him, but you’re not? How are you okay with that?”   
  
Junhoe was seconds away from storming out of the restaurant, but he took a deep breath and stayed calm. Seungri was just curious because he’d never seen him this angry before. He was right, after all. Usually Junhoe didn’t get so heated unless he was feuding with someone he actually cared about.   
  
Junhoe didn’t answer right away, and Seungri just continued to stare at him, curious eyes raking him over for an explanation, when suddenly it came to him.   
  
“Holy shit, Junhoe…” Seungri left it hanging for a second, his mouth wide open in surprise.   
  
Junhoe looked at him, annoyed and ready to tell him off. “What?”   
  
Seungri wasn’t bothered by the rude tone, though. “You and Jinhwan,” he replied, leaving it open again, shaking his head when he saw Junhoe blush and look away, and that sealed it for him. He leaned forward on the table, his voice low. “You and Jinhwan were dating, weren’t you?”   
  
Junhoe could actually feel himself blushing at the question, and he cursed his body for giving him away. But Seungri was wrong about that little piece, at least. “We were  _ not _ dating, hyung.”   
  
“I don’t believe that,” Seungri replied, “you were dating and he fucked up, so you’re angry at him. That’s why Hanbin was with him today. Because he’s friends with Hanbin’s boyfriend. I remember you whining about that months ago. Hanbin is still invested in him, and he’s trying to get you guys back together, right?”   
  
“You’re wrong,” Junhoe replied, though he couldn’t blame Seungri for making that guess. Junhoe had wanted it to be true, partially, at least.   
  
“What did he do to you? Did he cheat on you?” Seungri wouldn’t drop it, though, certain he’d guessed correctly.   
  
“He lied to me, okay? About something really important.” Junhoe couldn’t stop himself from explaining it.   
  
“What was it?”   
  
Junhoe frowned and sat back, his arms crossed over his chest. “I don’t want to talk about it.”   
  
Seungri’s expression softened, and Junhoe was reminded of the way Hanbin had looked at him that night when he’d admitted that he missed Jinhwan. (The morning after he’d sworn to himself that he’d never be that weak again, and he hadn’t been.) Junhoe wanted to be angry about it, but instead he just felt kind of sad.   
  
“Junhoe-ya? You can tell me about it, if you’re upset.”   
  
“Hyung, thank you for your concern, but really, I’m fine. You kicked his ass today, that’s all I really wanted.” Junhoe was grateful he had the video, so he could watch it again and again.   
  
“I didn’t kick his ass,” Seungri replied, his tone almost sad, “he kicked his own ass. I was confused about why he was so terrible, but I understand now.”   
  
Junhoe took a sip of his Pepsi, because his eyes felt like they were watering, which was so not cool. He wasn’t going to be emotional about this, no matter how many questions Seungri asked.   
  
“It was you, wasn’t it? He didn’t think you’d be there, and then you were, and he couldn’t think about the fight. He was too distracted by you.”   
  
Junhoe wasn’t sure if Seungri was trying to blame him for it, but he took it poorly anyway. “Well that’s his own fault for not being able to concentrate,” Junhoe replied in a snarl, “I didn’t hold a gun to his head and tell him to fight like crap. He did that himself.”   
  
There was silence for a few seconds, neither of them saying anything. Seungri broke it.   
  
“Are you really not going to tell me what happened? I won’t say anything to anyone, it’ll stay between us.” Junhoe shook his head and kept his gaze averted. “Don’t you trust me, Junhoe-ya? I just want to help.”   
  
Junhoe bit his lip, unsure of how to respond. But then the waitress appeared with their food, and when she left Junhoe looked across the table at Seungri.   
  
“Fine. If you want to know what happened between us, I’ll tell you. I don’t need any advice, though. I’m perfectly fine, okay?”   
  
Seungri nodded and pulled his bowl in closer. “Okay. Talk away, and if you want commentary, let me know. Otherwise I promise I’ll just listen, and that’s it.”   
  
“You promise?” Junhoe asked, and Seungri promised again, and Junhoe started the whole story from the beginning.   
  


* * *

  
“What do you want for your birthday, hyung?”   
  
Jinhwan didn’t answer Hanbin’s question right away, he just looked at the wall, thinking of his options. There was honestly only one thing he wanted, but it wasn’t a tangible gift that anyone could give. He looked back at the phone screen and decided to ask for as much of it as he could get, anyway.   
  
“I want to talk to Junhoe, face to face,” Jinhwan said, frowning when Hanbin laughed at him. “I’m serious, okay? It’s been two weeks since the tournament, you said he’s calmed down a lot. I’m not expecting him to forgive me or anything. I just want to be able to apologize fully to him, without interruption. Do you think that’s possible?”   
  
Hanbin sighed and chewed on his lip before answering. “I don’t know, honestly. I’ll see what I can do, though, okay?”   
  
“I know,” Jinhwan replied, and he felt a little bad for asking, “if you don’t think it can happen, then I don’t know. Promise me you’ll come visit me in the US?”   
  
“I can’t promise you something for your birthday,” Hanbin whined, “if I can’t pull off Junhoe, I’ll buy you something Woody related, okay?”   
  
Jinhwan grinned because as soon as Hanbin had mentioned his favourite character, Bobby had entered the room and frowned.   
  
“Did you hear that, Jiwon? Hanbin’s gonna give me a Woody for my birthday.” Jinhwan watched as Bobby tried not to laugh, only to fail miserably. He dropped onto the bed next to Jinhwan and reached for his phone.   
  
“Can I have my boyfriend back, please? Before you coerce him into doing something he shouldn’t be doing with someone who isn’t his boyfriend?” Bobby joked, shaking his head at the both of them.   
  
“We were talking about Woody from Toy Story!” Hanbin said.   
  
“Ah, we were?” Jinhwan teased. “Disappointing, I thought you were talking about something else.”   
  
They all giggled at the comment, and Jinhwan cuddled into Bobby’s side. He was feeling better these days after the dramatic reunion of two weeks ago with Junhoe. He’d been working extra classes with Youngbae as an apology for his poor performance, and he felt like he had his full support again. Thinking about Junhoe still made him sad, but it wasn’t clouding his brain anymore the way it had for a while.   
  
But his birthday was approaching, and he really wanted an opportunity to just say everything he wanted to say to Junhoe. No excuses for his behaviour, just straight up apologies. He was hoping that Hanbin would be able to convince Junhoe to hear him out, but he had to be prepared for a no, as well.   
  
He laid there with Bobby while he and Hanbin talked, content to just listen in. They were discussing plans to go on a double date with Donghyuk and Yunhyeong, and Jinhwan was happy for them, but at the same time he couldn’t help but think of what could have been, if he hadn’t been such an idiot. That double date could have been a triple date. So many lost opportunities for happy memories before he had to leave.   
  
Some lessons needed to be learned the hard way, though, and he was learning his now.   
  


* * *

  
“Hey, you wanna stay over on Tuesday? My dad’s got a business meeting in Tokyo, and mom’s going with him for the night.”   
  
“Do I have to?” Junhoe replied, which in his language meant  _ of course I will, why are you even asking? _   
  
“Yes, you are contractually obligated to stay over and help me keep Hanbyul entertained,” Hanbin stated, “she’ll probably make you watch her dance a dozen times. So be ready for that.”   
  
“I don’t remember ever signing this contract,” Junhoe said, “sounds fraudulent to me.”   
  
“I have it here with me, wanna see it?” Hanbin asked, and when Junhoe nodded, Hanbin took out a sheet of paper, grabbed Junhoe’s hand that was holding his pen, and physically forced him to scribble on the page. “Here you go,” Hanbin said as he pushed the paper in front of him, “the contract is in invisible ink, so you can’t read it. But you just signed it.”   
  
Junhoe shook his head. “Fraudulent. You made me sign it under duress, it’s not binding.”   
  
Hanbin took the paper back, folding it up and slipping it into his bag. “You’re staying over on Tuesday, and if you even try to get out of it, I’ll call my lawyer.”   
  
“It won’t stand up in a court of law. I mean, that’s not even my real signature, it’s just a scribble.”   
  
Hanbin waved his comment off. “Don’t bore me with technicalities, it’s binding if I say it’s binding. That’s how our relationship works.”   
  
“I don’t remember agreeing to that either,” Junhoe replied, “I should get myself a new best friend.”   
  
“Yeah, good luck with that,” Hanbin said, smiling at him, “you’ll never be able to replace me, and you know it.”   
  
“Doesn’t mean I won’t try,” Junhoe answered, “Donghyuk’s looking good these days.”   
  
“Donghyuk’s too enamoured with his new boyfriend, he won’t have time for you.” Hanbin took out his phone, typing a message while Junhoe frowned at him.   
  
“You’re kind of right about that, actually. He never wants to do anything without Yunhyeong hyung, it’s annoying.” Junhoe was honestly happy for Donghyuk and Yunhyeong, but he’d still complain anyway, just for the fun of it.   
  
“Young love, they’re so sweet.” Hanbin joked, and then hit send on his message.   
  
_ -ok hyung tuesday night is op: apologize to june!! my parents are gone to tokyo for the night and hes coming over to help me watch hanbyul so come over around 730 ok? thats the best i can do for you _   
  
Hanbin wasn’t sure if Junhoe would actually want to listen to Jinhwan, but he wouldn’t really have a choice, not with Hanbyul there. Hanbin knew it was a dirty tactic to use, but the situation called for drastic measures.   
  


* * *

  
“Oppa! You did it wrong!” Hanbyul huffed and wagged her finger at Junhoe, who frowned back at her.   
  
“It’s too hard, I can’t do it, Byul-ah!”   
  
“Yes you can! Hanbin-ie oppa can do it.”   
  
“Guess he’s better than me at girl group dances,” Junhoe replied.   
  
“I’m better than you at everything, actually.” Hanbin sat down on the floor at Hanbyul’s feet, reaching out to pull her down onto his lap. “Junhoe just isn’t a very good student, is he, Byul?”   
  
Hanbyul shook her head. “No, but it’s okay. Not everyone is meant to be a good dancer.”   
  
Junhoe looked affronted. “Excuse me! I happen to be a very good dancer. Just not at girl group dances.”   
  
Hanbyul frowned at his comment, before looking at Hanbin for confirmation. Hanbin grinned at her. “He’s good at one dance,” he replied, “the Michael Jackson dance.”   
  
Hanbyul shook her head. “I don’t know that dance, oppa.”   
  
“I can teach it to you,” Junhoe offered, “it’s pretty hard though, I don’t know if you can do it.”   
  
“I can do anything!” Hanbyul replied sulkily, crossing her arms over her chest.   
  
“I don’t know, Byul,” Junhoe said, “it’s very difficult.”   
  
Hanbin whispered something in her ear, and she smiled at Junhoe before replying. “It can’t be that hard if you can do it, oppa.”   
  
Junhoe flopped back dramatically on the floor as though he’d been shot, which made Hanbyul laugh.   
  
“Byul, why don’t you go and show Junhoe the new nail polish you got on the weekend?” Hanbin suggested, grinning at Junhoe when Hanbyul hopped to her feet.   
  
“Can I put makeup on him too?” Hanbyul asked, and Hanbin smiled back at her.   
  
“Don’t ask me, ask him.”   
  
Hanbyul turned to look hopefully at Junhoe, who smiled back at her. Hanbin could see through the fake expression though, and he bit the inside of his cheek to keep from laughing.   
  
“Of course you can, you know I can’t say no to you. Why don’t you go get set up and I’ll be there in a minute, okay?” Hanbyul nodded excitedly and took off for her bedroom, leaving Junhoe glaring a hole into Hanbin’s head.   
  
“You just  _ had _ to suggest that, didn’t you?” Hanbin smiled back at him. “I can’t get  _ one _ makeup free night at your place, can I?”   
  
Hanbin kept his smile in place as he shook his head. “You’ll never be free.” He stood up and walked over to Junhoe, offering his hand to help pull him up from the floor. “You’ll be happy to know that she’s gotten a lot better with the mascara.”   
  
“I fucking hate you, Hanbin.”   
  
Hanbin patted his cheek. “Love you too! I have to start dinner, so I’ll be in to check soon. Can’t wait to see what colour she does this time.”   
  
Junhoe shoved him away before heading down the hall to Hanbyul’s bedrooom, and as soon as he was out of sight Hanbin took out his phone. There was a message from Jinhwan, saying that he was on his way. Hanbin really hoped this plan was going to work, because he wanted both of his friends to be able to find a little more peace about the situation.   
  
He grabbed the food his mother had left him out of the fridge and turned on the stove, readying everything before going to check on Junhoe and Hanbyul. Junhoe was holding his hand out, allowing Hanbyul to paint his fingernails. As much as Junhoe liked to complain about his makeovers with Hanbyul, Hanbin knew that he actually really enjoyed it.   
  
“Ah, it looks good already,” Hanbin said, grinning when Junhoe glared at him.   
  
“I’m doing them different colours!” Hanbyul exclaimed, and Hanbin came closer to see which ones she’d picked.   
  
“Oh, those are good choices, Byul-ah! You’re so good at picking complementary colours, isn’t she, Junhoe?” Hanbin grinned while Junhoe fake smiled at him.   
  
“She’s the best. My nails have never looked better.” He laughed for real at his comment, and Hanbyul laughed too. Hanbin smiled, because he was just relieved that Junhoe was in such a good mood.   
  
He stayed with them until the oven dinged, and when he left the room Hanbyul was putting blush on Junhoe’s cheeks. The timing was perfect for Jinhwan to get here, and Hanbin checked his phone again. Nothing yet, but by the time he got to the kitchen Jinhwan was buzzing him from the lobby and Hanbin let him in. He put dinner in the oven and not long after that Jinhwan was at the door.   
  
“Thank you for this,” Jinhwan greeted him, toeing off his shoes, “are you sure he’s ready?”   
  
Hanbin shrugged. “Honestly I don’t know, but Byul’s doing his makeup right now and she always puts him in a soft mood. So I think this is as good as you’re going to get, hyung.”   
  
Jinhwan nodded and the next second he pulled Hanbin into a hug. He really didn’t want to mess up their night, but Hanbin wouldn’t have told him to come over if he suspected that Junhoe would react in anger. He followed Hanbin down the hall to Hanbyul’s room.   
  
“Hey guys, guess what?” Hanbin stood in the doorway, waiting until he had their attention. “We have a visitor!”   
  
Hanbyul looked excited, while Junhoe looked wary. Hanbin smiled at his sister quickly before locking eyes with Junhoe for a moment, his expression serious. But then he smiled again and entered the room, and finally Jinhwan poked his head around the doorframe.   
  
“Jinhwan-ie oppa!” Hanbyul’s face lit up in a smile and she clapped her hands, excited to see him. But Hanbin was watching Junhoe’s face, and he worried at the brief flash of betrayal that crossed it. But it was replaced with something else, some sort of quiet resignation. Hanbin really hoped he wasn’t pushing too hard.   
  
“Oppa, come and sit down!” Hanbyul rushed to Jinhwan, hugging him briefly before grabbing his hand and pulling him into the room. “Oppa, can I paint your fingernails? Junhoe oppa let me paint his, they look so pretty, look!” She reached for Junhoe’s hand, pulling it forward so Jinhwan could see the multicoloured fingernails.   
  
“Wow, you did such a good job, Byul-ah!” Jinhwan replied, his eyes on Junhoe’s hands. He wanted to look at his face, but he was a little too nervous.   
  
“Thank you, oppa. Sit down next to Junhoe oppa, okay? I can do yours after I finish with his.” Hanbyul directed him, and he followed. Junhoe said nothing, and the fact that he wasn’t leaving seemed to be positive.   
  
“I have to go and cook the food, but you guys stay here, okay? Byul, you’re in charge.” Hanbin smiled at her before looking between the other two. Jinhwan’s expression was worried but grateful, while Junhoe’s… Hanbin still wasn’t sure about Junhoe.   
  
But he left them alone and the room was quiet for a moment while Hanbyul put some eye shadow on Junhoe. Jinhwan wanted to speak, but he couldn’t figure out what to say to break the silence.   
  
Junhoe spoke instead. “How’s the planning going for California?” His voice was strained, but Hanbyul didn’t seem to notice.   
  
“It’s good,” Jinhwan replied, nervous but hopeful because Junhoe had spoken first, “I got my official acceptance letter, so it’s definitely happening.” Junhoe just nodded, his face drawn tight.   
  
“Are you going somewhere, oppa?” Hanbyul asked, pausing with her makeup.   
  
Jinhwan looked at her and nodded. “I’m moving away after school is over,” he said, and felt terribly guilty for it when her expression dropped.   
  
“Where are you going?” She asked, abandoning her makeup for the moment.   
  
Jinhwan wished he didn’t have to tell her, but there was no getting around it. “I’m moving to America.”   
  
She pouted. “Why are you going?”   
  
Jinhwan wasn’t sure how to explain it to her, maybe if he just put it in the simplest terms she’d get it. “I have to go to a special school.”   
  
“Do you want to go to that school?” She asked, and Jinhwan nodded. Then she smiled. “I’m going to miss you, oppa!” She reached her arms out and hugged his leg, and Jinhwan almost couldn’t believe that Hanbin had neglected to tell her about this. What if she started crying? It would be counter-productive to his whole reason for coming over.   
  
“But I’m happy for you,” she said, “if you’re happy, then I should be happy too, that’s what my mom says. That just because someone does something you don’t like, if they’re happy, then you should be happy for them. So I’m happy for you, oppa.”   
  
Jinhwan could feel his eyes tear up already, amazed at the simplicity of her statement. “Byul-ah, that’s so sweet of you.”   
  
Hanbyul looked up at him and smiled. “It’s important to be happy for people, especially if you like them! Everyone should be happy, right oppa?”   
  
Jinhwan wasn’t sure that it was appropriate for him to be answering that question, but he nodded anyway. “I think you’re right. But sometimes it’s hard to make yourself be happy.”   
  
Hanbyul nodded. “Yes it is, oppa. I don’t want you to leave, but if you have to, then I’m going to be happy for you.”   
  
Jinhwan was about to reply, but Junhoe cut him off.   
  
“Byul-ah, can you go see if your brother needs your help?”   
  
Jinhwan was surprised by his suggestion. Surprised, but terrified as well.   
  
Hanbyul didn’t seem bothered though and skipped out of the room, and then it was just the two of them. Junhoe had an idea of what he wanted to say, because there was a lot on his mind. But Jinhwan spoke first.   
  
“Junhoe,” he began, and Junhoe was surprised when a moment later Jinhwan was suddenly on the floor before him, his head bowed low. “I’m sorry for hurting you. Please know that it was never my intention, and I’ve regretted my decisions every day since then.”   
  
Junhoe was so shocked that he said nothing.   
  
“I don’t expect you to accept my apology, I know that I don’t deserve it. But please don’t spend your days being angry and hating me. Not for me, but for you.” Jinhwan paused then, not because he was searching for words, but because his lip was quivering so much. He wanted to get through his speech before he started crying, because he didn’t want Junhoe to possibly be swayed by tears. But he couldn’t help them.   
  
Junhoe didn't say anything. There was something there in Jinhwan's voice that held him, kept him waiting for more. Maybe he was just being weak again. Or maybe it wasn't weakness at all.  
  
Jinhwan took a deep breath before saying more. He wanted to raise his head to meet Junhoe's eyes, but he was afraid there would be nothing but anger in them. “You shouldn’t be stuck being angry at someone who hurt you. You deserve to be happy, and you should focus on the things that make you happy.”   
  
Junhoe was still completely caught off guard at the heartfelt apology that he couldn’t stop himself before blurting out his response. “You make me happy, hyung.” Jinhwan was clearly surprised to hear it, as his head snapped up and his eyes focused on Junhoe’s face. Junhoe blushed when he realized what he’d said, and he scowled and looked away. “ _ Made _ me happy, okay, you  _ made _ me happy.”   
  
Jinhwan smiled at the slip up. “Can you just remember me that way, as someone who made you happy once? You’ll find someone who makes you even happier one day. But please don’t remember me in anger. You deserve better than that.”   
  
Junhoe glared at him, annoyed because of his own feelings of vulnerability. “That would be a lot easier to do if I didn’t have all of this anger sitting in the way, okay? Because I can’t just let things go, I’m not like that.” He paused to take a deep breath and pinch his arm. He wasn’t going to cry, this wasn’t worth crying over. “You made me really happy, hyung, but then you really hurt me. I can’t just let that go. You’d need to make me happy again, you know? I’d have to have something to remember, something good, that happened after being hurt. Because I always think of the most recent things first. And the most recent thing you did was really shitty. I can’t just forgive you and walk away. I’m angry.”   
  
Jinhwan nodded, like he understood, and then suddenly he  _ did _ understand, but he was afraid of suggesting it. Afraid that Junhoe wasn’t ready to hear it yet. “Junhoe-ya, we could do that. It’s not too late.”   
  
Junhoe looked at him with an expression of confusion. “Do what, hyung?” But his eyes stayed on Jinhwan, like he was waiting desperately for his answer.   
  
“Start over.” Jinhwan answered with a shaky voice as he reached out to take Junhoe’s hands. He was surprised when Junhoe let him. “I’m still here for another few months, right? And this time we know for sure that I’m going, we know it’s coming. But it’s not here yet. And maybe, if you wanted to, maybe we could actually try this time. Properly.”   
  
Junhoe wasn’t sure what to say. Was Jinhwan suggesting what he thought he was suggesting? That they actually date before he left? It would only be for a few months, but maybe that would be enough. He still had all of these emotions left over, all of these feelings he’d never allowed himself to fully feel before because he wasn’t supposed to be feeling them. Maybe it would help. Maybe it wouldn’t. But it had to be better than being angry, right? It had to be better than ignoring him.   
  
It was like that stupid saying, wasn’t it?  _ It’s better to have loved and lost, than to have never loved at all. _   
  
“Junhoe?” Jinhwan held his hands and kept his eyes focused on Junhoe’s face, waiting for an answer. It was all stuck on this moment, wasn’t it? Junhoe looked down at him then with glassy eyes and a steeled expression, and he nodded. Jinhwan felt like the air had been knocked out of him and for a moment he couldn’t speak. But then he found his breath again, because he had to make sure.   
  
“Would you be my boyfriend?”   
  
Junhoe frowned, torn between wanting to answer and wanting to turn away to protect his own pride. But his answer would be the same either way. He kept his eyes on Jinhwan and opened his mouth, croaking out a throaty  _ yes _ that immediately brought a smile to Jinhwan’s face.   
  
Junhoe couldn’t help but feel annoyed.   
  
Jinhwan bounced up onto the bed next to him, still holding his hands, his grateful smile turning into the most annoying smug expression. “Have I ever told you how pretty you look with makeup?” Jinhwan teased, unable to help himself, like his brain couldn’t compute what they’d just agreed to. Not yet, at any rate.   
  
Junhoe fumed and looked back at him and his expression made Jinhwan laugh. Jinhwan was still holding his hands and he squeezed them tighter, and Junhoe suddenly felt a flood of emotion overtake him at how  _ happy _ Jinhwan looked, sitting next to him. His thoughts were filled with the truth, even if might make him a little angry.   
  
_ Yes, you make me happy, and being with you is enough right now. _   
  
But then of course his mouth had to go and screw it up. “You’re so annoying, hyung.”   
  
But Jinhwan could read him in the moment, and he knew what Junhoe was trying to say:  _ I missed you; welcome back. _   
  
Suddenly Jinhwan let go of his hands and instead his fingers traced over Junhoe’s cheeks and back around his head, and then they were kissing,  _ properly, _ like they’d never allowed themselves to kiss each other before. It was a kiss filled to the brim with emotion, with feelings, and Junhoe felt like this was exactly what he needed to let go of the anger. It might not completely disappear right away, but he needed this, needed to kiss Jinhwan like this.   
  
He didn’t know how long they’d been kissing until suddenly they were interrupted by Hanbyul’s loud gasp.   
  
“Are you going to get married too?”   
  
They pulled apart comically fast, both sets of eyes trained on Hanbyul, who was smiling at them from the door.   
  
Hanbyul just carried on. “When you kiss like that it means you’re supposed to get married!”   
  
Junhoe was the first to recover. “I thought I was supposed to marry you when you got older?”   
  
Hanbyul scrunched her face up at him. “No, you’re too old, and boys are gross! I already told my friend from school, Chaesul, that we’re going to get married.”   
  
Junhoe just nodded at her, at a loss for how else to react. Jinhwan was giggling next to him, like he found the whole situation hilarious. Maybe it was.   
  
“Hanbin-ie oppa told me to tell you that dinner is ready. So you have to come! Okay?”   
  
They both nodded at her, but neither of them made a move to get off the bed. She huffed and looked slightly annoyed.   
  
Jinhwan diffused her first. “We’ll be right out, okay? Just give us a minute first.”   
  
Hanbyul nodded. “Okay. Are you going to kiss again?”   
  
Junhoe felt himself blush, but Jinhwan grinned at her. “Yeah, I think we are. Just one more, okay? Then we’ll come out for dinner.”   
  
Hanbyul nodded and left, and then they were alone again.   
  
Junhoe looked at Jinhwan, who grinned at him and moved closer. “I’m sorry, I think I smudged your lipstick a little.”   
  
Junhoe glared at him. “Ugh, you’re so annoying, hyung.”   
  
But Jinhwan was all smiles. “You said that already.”   
  
“Well you are!” Junhoe replied, and he honestly did feel a little annoyed. But he also felt happy. Which annoyed him even more.   
  
Jinhwan was still smiling, though, and he took one of Junhoe’s hands in his own again. “I’m not half as annoying as you.”   
  
“Bullshit, you’re easily the most annoying person I know.” Junhoe grumbled, and then his phone beeped and he looked down at a message from Hanbin.   
  
_ -get your ass out here i didnt slave away over the stove for you to eat jinans face instead!!!! _   
  
Junhoe glared at his phone. “Make that the second most annoying person I know. Hanbin is officially more annoying than you.”   
  
Jinhwan laughed and leaned closer to him, keeping true to his word and kissing him again. Junhoe was a little more prepared for it this time, and they spent a minute together, just kissing. When Jinhwan finally pulled away and stood up, Junhoe didn’t even realize he was all smiles as he looked up at him. He wasn’t sure if he’d still feel this happy later, or if he’d struggle to put it all behind him. But right now, in the moment, this felt  _ right, _ it felt like this was what he was supposed to be doing.   
  
It was kind of like jiu jitsu, if he thought about it. He’d been in control for the past month, constantly deflecting any attempt of Jinhwan’s to get a hold on him. But sometimes all it took was a lapse in concentration and suddenly you found yourself caught in someone else’s grip. Jinhwan was a more experienced fighter than he was, not only in jiu jitsu, but in life as well. He’d bided his time, he’d waited until the right moment came, and then he’d passed the guard.   
  
Junhoe didn’t mind giving up control. Not this time.


	50. Inside The Guard

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> One last conversation prompts one last question.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone!! This is it, the last chapter! PTG is done, it is over. We have reached the end.
> 
> I know, this chapter is actually really short compared to the others, and it's only Jinhwan and Junhoe. There was a lot I wanted to put in this chapter, there are a ton of stories left to tell, but I realized that it just didn't belong in this story. This story was originally supposed to end with the last chapter, and this one was supposed to be an epilogue set further into the future.
> 
> But I decided to scrap that idea. Please read my notes at the end of this chapter to see why I scrapped a huge epilogue with a ton of stuff in it. Promise you won't be disappointed. ;)

“Okay let’s say he never died, who would you rather perform with—Michael Jackson, or Usher?”   
  
Jinhwan snorted at the question. “Usher, hands down!”   
  
Junhoe scoffed at the response. “I’m not saying Usher is crap or anything, but come on,  _ Michael Jackson!” _   
  
“Do you know how old he’d be?” Jinhwan fired back.   
  
“Doesn’t matter, I bet he’d still wipe the floor with anyone.”   
  
Jinhwan shook his head. “Besides, have you seen Usher? He’s super hot, and his music is sexy. MJ made great music, sure, but none of it was sexy.”   
  
“Bullshit,” Junhoe fired back, “he’s got a ton of sexy songs!”   
  
“Name one,” Jinhwan replied.   
  
“Are you really going to sit there and pretend that Smooth Criminal isn’t sexy?” Junhoe asked, his baffled tone matching his expression.   
  
“Smooth Criminal is old and dated,” Jinhwan said, “I wouldn’t call that sexy.”   
  
“Nani are you okay? Tell me are you okay, are you okay Nani?” Junhoe sang back at him, and Jinhwan groaned and covered his face with his hands.   
  
“Oh my God, I can’t believe you just did that.”   
  
Junhoe’s face scrunched up in laughter and Jinhwan peeked out from his fingers to watch. Junhoe resembled an overgrown toddler when he laughed, and Jinhwan thought it was probably the most endearing thing about him. He could watch Junhoe laugh like that all day and not get tired of it.   
  
Junhoe laughed for a good ten seconds, and Jinhwan just watched him. Eventually Junhoe picked up the conversation again. “Okay though, even if you don’t think Smooth Criminal is sexy, are you going to deny the sexiness of Remember The Time?”   
  
Jinhwan sighed in pretend aggravation. “Cheese.” Junhoe scoffed, but Jinhwan couldn’t help but think back to that time, almost nine months ago, when he and Junhoe and Donghyuk had sung a medley of Michael Jackson songs at karaoke while Hanbin and Bobby made out behind them.   
  
Junhoe noticed the look on Jinhwan’s face and stopped his complaining for a moment. “What?”   
  
Jinhwan cocked his head at Junhoe’s questioning glance. “Huh?”   
  
“You have this look on your face,” Junhoe explained, “and I know you’re not paying attention to what I’m saying because of that look.”   
  
Jinhwan grinned and leaned into him, pecking a quick kiss on Junhoe’s chin. “Just thinking back to what things were like when we all first started hanging out.” Junhoe nodded, and Jinhwan laid back against the grass to look up at the quickly darkening sky. “Specifically I was thinking about our karaoke night, you me and Donghyuk singing Michael Jackson.”   
  
Junhoe smiled at the memory. Sometimes Jinhwan brought up moments from the past, things Junhoe had forgotten about, and knowing that Jinhwan still thought about them filled Junhoe with a great deal of warmth and affection. “It was a sexy performance.”   
  
Jinhwan laughed and looked at Junhoe instead of the sky. His smile was every bit as bright as the moon, in Jinhwan’s opinion. “Because I made it sexy.”   
  
“Bullshit,” Junhoe replied, “I’m way sexier than you.”   
  
“In what universe?” Jinhwan shot back.   
  
“Are you crazy? It’s not even close. You’re not even sexy, hyung, you’re cute. I’m sexy.”   
  
“What a load of crap!” Jinhwan retorted, his eyes narrowed.   
  
Junhoe just grinned at him though, unfazed by his irritation. “It’s true, you can ask anyone. Couples are always like that, okay? It’s like a rule, there has to be one of each. Me and Bobby are the sexy ones, you and Hanbin are the cute ones.”   
  
“Yunhyeong and Donghyuk? They’re both cute, so it makes your argument invalid.”   
  
Junhoe shook his head. “No way, Donghyuk’s the sexy one.”   
  
“Bullshit!” Jinhwan replied, reaching out to smack him in the leg. “Donghyuk is definitely the cutest one of all of us.”   
  
“You’re smoking crack, hyung,” Junhoe replied, “Donghyuk is sexy, and Hanbin is the cutest one of our group, hands down.”   
  
Jinhwan sat up, his mouth dropping open in shock. “Are you saying that Hanbin is cuter than me?”   
  
“Absolutely,” Junhoe replied, his face split in a grin, “have you met him? He’s adorable.”   
  
Jinhwan huffed in irritation. “I can’t believe you’re ranking him above me,  _ your boyfriend.” _   
  
“Okay, just so there’s no misunderstanding,” Junhoe said, still amused, “physically speaking, I think you’re a little cuter than Hanbin—”   
  
_ “Little _ cuter? I’m way cuter.” Jinhwan crossed his arms over his chest.   
  
Junhoe reached out to pinch his cheek, laughing when Jinhwan swatted his hand away. “I was making a joke because you’re short,” Junhoe replied, laughing when it made Jinhwan glare at him, “anyway, you’re cuter than him in looks, but he’s way cuter than you in personality, and we all know that personality is the most important!”   
  
“Yeah, and that’s why you’re at the bottom of the list,” Jinhwan retorted, trying and failing to keep his frown in place.   
  
“I rank you in second place and you rank me last,” Junhoe replied in a huff, “Yunhyeong hyung is now cuter than you too, congratulations.”   
  
Jinhwan grinned and got to his knees, facing Junhoe only to reach out and knock him onto his back, quickly sliding over him. “Your brain might say I’m cute, but your dick thinks I’m sexy.”   
  
Junhoe laughed at the comment as his arms reached out to slide around Jinhwan. A second later and Jinhwan fully collapsed down on top of him, kissing his chin again before tucking his head into his neck. Junhoe closed his eyes and tightened his arms around Jinhwan, his  _ boyfriend. _ They’d been dating for over three and a half months, now, and sometimes Junhoe still found himself shocked that they were actually together.   
  
Well, not for much longer. Jinhwan was leaving for California tomorrow, and it felt kind of weird that they could still be like this, playfully teasing each other on the eve of their parting. Junhoe wouldn’t even be able to see him off at the airport, because the flight was booked during school hours. Jinhwan had asked him what he’d prefer—seeing him off at the airport on the weekend, or spending one last night together without being able to see him off.   
  
Junhoe had picked the second option, because he was utter crap at goodbyes.   
  
It was getting late, and Jinhwan knew they’d have to leave each other soon, and he hated the thought of leaving, but he knew he couldn’t postpone it. He’d already delayed his leaving by a month, but if he stayed any longer he knew it would only make it harder when it came time to go. He needed to think about his future, and if he had any hopes of doing well in his music theory classes in university, then he needed time to immerse himself in English before his semester started.   
  
But it was going to be so difficult, leaving Junhoe. Since they’d started dating everything had seemed so much brighter, and not a day had gone by that he hadn’t spent a portion of it with Junhoe. Even if all they’d done was sit together in silence and study, it had still been something.   
  
But they’d never once talked about what would actually happen when he left. Neither of them had mentioned the word  _ breakup _ even if they’d been thinking about it. Because they couldn’t possibly stay together during such a long separation, could they? That sort of thing never worked.   
  
Or at least that’s what he’d kept telling himself, because he was afraid to know what Junhoe thought of the situation. He couldn’t imagine him agreeing to a long distance thing. Junhoe just didn’t seem like the type. Hell, Jinhwan didn’t even think that he  _ himself _ was the type for a long distance relationship, but he wasn’t ready to call it off with Junhoe.   
  
He tightened his arms around Junhoe’s torso and let out a shuddering breath against him, fighting off the urge to blurt out the question. They were too young to tie each other down like that, being so far apart. It would be selfish to expect anything.   
  
Junhoe felt the shudder and he knew right away that Jinhwan upset about something. It was the sort of reaction his body had before he was about to cry (and Junhoe only knew about the crying because of all the sad movies they’d watched together). It wasn’t surprising, of course. This was their last night together, he’d always known they’d probably end up crying at the end of it. Junhoe screwed his eyes shut tightly and buried his face in Jinhwan’s hair, trying to think of something stupid to say to save Jinhwan from his tears. Nothing came, though.   
  
Jinhwan felt a little calmer at Junhoe’s tightened embrace, but his heart was still heavy at the unsaid question. Would it really be so terrible to at least suggest it? They were going to have to talk about their end anyway. He wouldn’t be a jerk for bringing it up.   
  
He pulled out of Junhoe’s arms and moved off of him, sitting beside him. He took a few deep breaths and gathered his thoughts as Junhoe sat up as well. Their eyes met and held, and Jinhwan found it hard to breathe.   
  
Junhoe frowned and broke eye contact first. “I hate that it’s here already.”   
  
Jinhwan didn’t reply right away, just watched as Junhoe pouted.   
  
Junhoe was upset about their parting, Jinhwan knew him well enough now to understand what every bit of emotion from him looked like. How could he be so sure that Junhoe wouldn’t want to try staying together? The worst thing that could happen would be him saying no, and it’s what they’d both come here expecting anyway.   
  
“June-ya,” Jinhwan held his breath for a moment as Junhoe looked back at him; Junhoe’s eyes looked every bit as glassy as Jinhwan knew his must be, “I keep thinking about tomorrow, about us.”   
  
Junhoe interrupted him. “I don’t want you to go.” He looked away as soon as he said it, and Jinhwan could see the mantle of shame settle over his shoulders. He didn’t respond, because he didn’t know what to say.   
  
Junhoe spoke again. “I’m sorry, okay? I know that doesn’t help, I know you have to go. I know you  _ want _ to go. But it’s just been eating me up every day, not saying it. I know it probably makes it harder for you to leave, but,” Junhoe paused then, his breath hitching the way it did before he was about to cry, “I just really wish you weren’t going.”   
  
Jinhwan took a few deep breaths, trying to keep his own tears in check. While he’d seen Junhoe cry a handful of times, they’d only ever been because of movies. But this was just like their own little movie, wasn’t it? This was just like something they’d watched, with a couple on the verge of leaving each other, offering a tearful goodbye, only for the one leaving to throw away their plans at the last second, ditch their plane, and find their way back to their lover’s arms.   
  
But that wasn’t going to happen for them. Jinhwan was leaving, and they both knew it.   
  
“I wish I didn’t have to leave you,” Jinhwan replied finally, “I wish we could stay together.”   
  
Junhoe still couldn’t bring himself to look at Jinhwan, the guilt was too much. Jinhwan was leaving, and Junhoe had to accept it, had to be happy for him. He couldn’t let Hanbin’s little sister be stronger than he was, after all.   
  
Jinhwan crept a little closer, reaching out for Junhoe’s hand. “I know it’s not for everyone, especially because it would be really hard, but I think I’ll regret it if I don’t ask.”   
  
That got Junhoe’s attention, and he turned his head to meet Jinhwan’s eyes. He was a little surprised at the look of determination in them.   
  
Jinhwan held his hand tightly. “I have to leave, I can’t put it off. But I also don’t want to break up with you. I understand if you can’t do it, it’s selfish of me to ask, I know. But maybe we could date long-distance? I know it might not work out, we’re both young and I’ll be so far away, but I just can’t handle the idea of not being with you. I, uh,” Jinhwan had to pause again, had to take a deep breath to keep his tears held in, especially because Junhoe had already started crying, Jinhwan could see that one stubborn tear as it traced a path down his cheek, “I love you. I don’t want to lose you.”   
  
Junhoe was pretty sure his heart stopped when Jinhwan said it. Not the  _ let’s stay together and date long-distance, _ but the  _ I love you. _ Neither of them had ever uttered those words to each other, not even jokingly. Junhoe never really said those words to anyone, save his family on very rare occasions. He may have said it to Hanbin once or twice, but that was it. They didn’t come as easily to him as they did to others.   
  
His brain felt like it was short-circuiting, there was too much to process. His thoughts refused to focus on Jinhwan’s confession, it blocked the words from his thoughts entirely. Instead he focused on the offer, on the request. Long-distance relationship. Could he handle that? He’d scoffed at them before, thought they were bullshit. Thought it was impossible for two people to remain that committed.   
  
Surely he and Jinhwan would be different, wouldn’t they? Maybe it wasn’t for everyone, but then not everyone had already survived what they’d been through together. Would that strengthen them enough to withstand it? Or would time crumble their feelings to dust?   
  
He took his own shuddering breath before replying. “I fucking hate long-distance relationships.” It wasn’t what he’d meant to say! Junhoe winced and looked at Jinhwan, who was biting his lip and trying not to cry. Junhoe felt guilty again. “I’ll do it, though.”   
  
Jinhwan didn’t say anything, just stared at him in confusion, his brain too mired in disappointment of the initial response.   
  
Junhoe squeezed Jinhwan’s hand and said it again. “I’ll do it, hyung, the long-distance thing. If you want to try. Because, yeah, what you said,” Junhoe felt flustered, like he couldn’t figure out how words worked in the moment, there was too much he wanted to say, “I feel that way too. And, uh, I don’t, I don’t want to break up.” He dropped Jinhwan’s hand and instead crossed his arms over his chest. He couldn’t help himself from doing it, he reacted defensively even though he didn’t have to.   
  
Jinhwan slowly grinned at him before shuffling closer again. “You really mean all of that?”   
  
Junhoe looked back at him and glared. “I wouldn’t say it if I didn’t mean it.” He felt bad for once again reacting like this, like a grumpy and defensive stupid kid. But Jinhwan was smiling, so maybe it wasn’t so bad.   
  
Jinhwan reached out to cup Junhoe’s cheeks in his hands, amused and in love with Junhoe’s grumpy reaction. He didn’t mind at all, because he’d learned how to read him over the months they’d been together. While it would be nice if Junhoe could give him a loving declaration with romantic words and hearts in his eyes, Jinhwan knew that his grumpy glare and frowning face was just Junhoe’s own way of saying  _ I love you. _ Junhoe had his own language, and Jinhwan understood all of it.   
  
He leaned forward to bring their lips together softly, and the delicate press of Junhoe’s tongue gave Jinhwan what he wished he could hear in words. But Junhoe was much better with physical expressions of his affection, and Jinhwan could feel all of Junhoe’s love in the strong embrace of his arms, and it was enough.   
  
He kissed Junhoe’s cheek and whispered into his ear. “I love you.”   
  
Junhoe tightened his arms and kissed him back. “Me too, hyung.”   
  
Jinhwan couldn’t help but grin and shake his head a little. Everything was going to be okay. He was going to leave for California and they’d be separated across an entire ocean, but they were going to stay together. They were going to make this work for however long they had to.   
  
“So I guess then that this isn’t really goodbye for us. It’s more like a see you later.” Jinhwan sat back to look at Junhoe, whose expression looked annoyed.   
  
“God hyung, that was disgustingly cheesy.”   
  
Jinhwan grinned and winked at him. “Super cheesy, just like Bobby and his four slices of cheese he puts on his hamburgers.”   
  
Junhoe shuddered at the comment. “Yeah and that’s equally as disgusting as what you just said.”   
  
Jinhwan leaned forward to kiss the tip of his nose. “Cheese is fine every once in a while.”   
  
Junhoe shook his head, and even though his expression was one of disgust, Jinhwan could read it properly and see the playfulness underneath it all. “It’s disgusting, just like your face.”   
  
Jinhwan scoffed at the insult. “Excuse me, my face is  _ not disgusting _ ! It’s sexy.”   
  
Junhoe grinned back at him. “It’s not sexy, it’s cute. We’ve already been over this.”   
  
Jinhwan punched his arm. “It’s  _ sexy! _ It’s so sexy you’re going to see it in your dreams.”   
  
Junhoe grinned back at him and grabbed Jinhwan suddenly, laying back on the grass again and pulling Jinhwan down on top of him. “Every night, hyung.”   
  
Jinhwan laid his head down on Junhoe’s chest, a feeling of contentment spreading over him.   
  
“Every night.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Before I make my big announcement, I just wanted to say thank you to everyone who's stuck around with this story from the beginning, and thank you to everyone who's ever left me a comment on this story. I'd like to think you guys know how important your comments are, they mean the world to me, truly, that's why I always try to reply to everyone. You guys are all wonderful and I love you. ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
> 
> NOW! I have an important announcement.
> 
> I'M WRITING A SEQUEL!
> 
> That's why I decided to scrap my big, huge epilogue chapter. I realized that instead of cutting things short and cramming as much into an epilogue as I could, I would rather put all of that into a whole new story.
> 
> Update: The story will actually take place before Jinhwan leaves, so he will be around for the first few chapters at least, before leaving for California. I kinda goofed on my Korean school year, and based on something that happens I need to start the sequel at the beginning of the Korean high school year.
> 
> Double B and YunDong will feature a lot (and I promise I'll write flashbacks of that triple date many of you had been expecting to see in this chapter) and Chanwoo will be around more! All the family members you know and love will be around as well.
> 
> I will also be adding a new main character to the story. It's someone that showed up for a few chapters, but he's got his own story that needs to be told. Also going to be adding in someone who was talked about, but never actually showed up in the story.
> 
> I don't know when I will start posting the sequel, because I haven't started writing it yet. I probably will not be posting it weekly, either. I can't do that to myself again, it was too stressful. I will definitely start posting it at some point this year, though, that much I do know.
> 
> If you want to stay up to date on any progress, please follow me on Tumblr (http://drinkyourjuicejinhwan.tumblr.com/) or Twitter (https://twitter.com/mugwump_cat).
> 
> Also, if you have any requests for "missing scenes" you'd like to see (just things that would have happened but I didn't write) feel free to let me know. I might just write them for you. :)
> 
> In closing, THANK YOU!! ♥♥♥ I appreciate all the love and support this story got. I never thought it would grow to be as popular as it was, and it would have been a much harder thing for me to accomplish without all the love. ♥♥♥


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